Kelly McCullough's Blog, page 25
October 31, 2013
October 29, 2013
Podcast!
I'm doing a podcast (under the stage name "Dylan Calish"), which I hope will become a monthly thing. It's called "Travels in the UnSeen World" and you can take a listen to the first episode here: http://entertheunseen.com/travels1/
Here's how it's described:
Sounds cool, right? Well, feel free to check it out. It's a project that I've had in mind for a long time. Like any good otaku, I've been trying to teach myself Japanese. As part of this, I've listened to some VERY boring language tapes. "John Learner would like a cup of coffee." And phrases like this where nothing untoward every happens to Mr. Learner. He always gets through customs without a hassle. Makes a phone call without dialing the wrong number. And any number of completely unlikely scenarios when you're traveling abroad, right?? And, anyway, I have always thought it'd be so much more fun to learn a language if you were actually following an interesting story. This isn't quite that, because it's also in support of my friend Rachel's new book and the world she developed around it, but there is a strong language component that's part of this.
Anyway, it's a creative project that's keeping me off the streets.
Here's how it's described:
Who wouldn’t want to learn to say “devour the corpses like a dog; so say well all” in the phonetic interpretation of Cuneiform?
In our very first podcast of “Travels in the UnSeen World” you can learn that phrase as well as several other evocations to the god Inanna as read to us by Professor Cass Dalglish. We will also learn about the five types of demons that inhabit the UnSeen World from author Rachel Calish… in an interview that was crashed (almost literally) by several unseen guests….
So, grab your passports, fellow travelers, and get ready to enter the UnSeen….
Sounds cool, right? Well, feel free to check it out. It's a project that I've had in mind for a long time. Like any good otaku, I've been trying to teach myself Japanese. As part of this, I've listened to some VERY boring language tapes. "John Learner would like a cup of coffee." And phrases like this where nothing untoward every happens to Mr. Learner. He always gets through customs without a hassle. Makes a phone call without dialing the wrong number. And any number of completely unlikely scenarios when you're traveling abroad, right?? And, anyway, I have always thought it'd be so much more fun to learn a language if you were actually following an interesting story. This isn't quite that, because it's also in support of my friend Rachel's new book and the world she developed around it, but there is a strong language component that's part of this.
Anyway, it's a creative project that's keeping me off the streets.
September 20, 2013
Notes on Writing a Story
Written over several days...
I am reading Catherynne Valente’s The Orphan's Tales: In the Night Garden. It has moved me to begin a fairy tale. Fairy tales are so keen. So far I have one page.
*
The fairy tale I started yesterday is terminally silly, but I may continue it anyway. It's kind of relaxing, after all the struggling with revision. Writing is too hard for me. I need to spend more time not giving a damn.
*
The fairy tale is chugging along. I'm not sure it's any good, but I'm not a good judge. When writing is going well, I think I am utterly fabulous, but then there are these brief drops into despair, followed by more fabulousity, followed by... I remind myself that I threw out "The Garden" part way through, then had to go back and rewrite from memory. The story ended in a couple of "Best of the Year" anthologies. I am not a good judge.
*
The thing the fairy tale has going for it is the images and lines which are digging at me, demanding to be written... Ima discovering the werewolves, Orna playing in a field of autumn flowers with dryads... And the third daughter with the witch...
*
I think the key thing for me is when a story keeps chewing at me. I get these images, but don't know how to fit them in the story yet. But they stay with me. Usually this means I should persist, though some stories with neat images never get finished... What is odd is how some stories flow right out, are so easy to write, and others fight me every line.
I am reading Catherynne Valente’s The Orphan's Tales: In the Night Garden. It has moved me to begin a fairy tale. Fairy tales are so keen. So far I have one page.
*
The fairy tale I started yesterday is terminally silly, but I may continue it anyway. It's kind of relaxing, after all the struggling with revision. Writing is too hard for me. I need to spend more time not giving a damn.
*
The fairy tale is chugging along. I'm not sure it's any good, but I'm not a good judge. When writing is going well, I think I am utterly fabulous, but then there are these brief drops into despair, followed by more fabulousity, followed by... I remind myself that I threw out "The Garden" part way through, then had to go back and rewrite from memory. The story ended in a couple of "Best of the Year" anthologies. I am not a good judge.
*
The thing the fairy tale has going for it is the images and lines which are digging at me, demanding to be written... Ima discovering the werewolves, Orna playing in a field of autumn flowers with dryads... And the third daughter with the witch...
*
I think the key thing for me is when a story keeps chewing at me. I get these images, but don't know how to fit them in the story yet. But they stay with me. Usually this means I should persist, though some stories with neat images never get finished... What is odd is how some stories flow right out, are so easy to write, and others fight me every line.
August 30, 2013
Writing
I may have written something like this before, but I'm not going back to check. This particular iteration is in response to a post on the Book View Cafe blog, talking about having multiple projects going at once.
I usually have several projects going at once. I don’t sell work until it’s finished and can only remember one time I wrote a story to order. So the reason I do this is personal preference, rather than the demands of editors. When I get stuck on one story, I switch to another, rather than stop writing for several days, while I figure out what to do next on story # 1. Of course, I could push through the problem area in story # 1. That might work. But I prefer to let the story rest, while my unconscious (if the unconscious actually exists) mulls and finds a solution to the problem. In the meantime, I work on story # 2.
I like first drafts and don’t much like revising. If I have two stories going at once, I can have the pleasure of writing a first draft at the same time that I am trudging through a revision.
There are limits to this technique. I have a novel and six short stories in various stages of completion right now. I don’t rely on outlines, and I take only a few notes, so I have to keep all the information about the stories in my head. I find I am running out of memory room. (Many of the stories are almost done, so I don’t have to keep them all in my memory, but there are changes that have to be remembered, until I input them.)
I’m not sure I recommend this method of writing. There is a lot to be said for focusing on one project at a time.
I usually have several projects going at once. I don’t sell work until it’s finished and can only remember one time I wrote a story to order. So the reason I do this is personal preference, rather than the demands of editors. When I get stuck on one story, I switch to another, rather than stop writing for several days, while I figure out what to do next on story # 1. Of course, I could push through the problem area in story # 1. That might work. But I prefer to let the story rest, while my unconscious (if the unconscious actually exists) mulls and finds a solution to the problem. In the meantime, I work on story # 2.
I like first drafts and don’t much like revising. If I have two stories going at once, I can have the pleasure of writing a first draft at the same time that I am trudging through a revision.
There are limits to this technique. I have a novel and six short stories in various stages of completion right now. I don’t rely on outlines, and I take only a few notes, so I have to keep all the information about the stories in my head. I find I am running out of memory room. (Many of the stories are almost done, so I don’t have to keep them all in my memory, but there are changes that have to be remembered, until I input them.)
I’m not sure I recommend this method of writing. There is a lot to be said for focusing on one project at a time.
August 15, 2013
Work
I get more work done than I realize. I woke up thinking about the story I'm revising and realized, while still half awake, what I needed to do next. Then I made coffee and toast with marmalade and settled down at the computer to check my mail and then answer a series of questions for an online interview about "Kormak the Lucky," the story that F&SF just published. (Small bit of promotion here.) That was interesting. I think I have figured out what the story is about. By the time I finished that, it was time to go exercise. I thought some more about the story I'm revising at the Y.
August 10, 2013
Kudos Con
There's going to be a new convention in town and it's specifically for fans and fan works. I really, really want to contribute to this because not only is it a cool idea, but also I could get a PLUSHIE PLOT BUNNY. Take a moment to think about how utterly awesome this is...
Then, go to their web site and watch the video and check out the tiny plot bunny in the background.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/565819342/kudoscon
A PLUSHIE PLOT BUNNY. YOU NEED THIS. Also, you might also have a real life OT3 that you need bring to the convention.
Then, go to their web site and watch the video and check out the tiny plot bunny in the background.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/565819342/kudoscon
A PLUSHIE PLOT BUNNY. YOU NEED THIS. Also, you might also have a real life OT3 that you need bring to the convention.
Yes, you CAN grow up to be an otaku...
Apparently, the latest SF/F community kerfluffle is around the fact that certain people would like to eliminate the fan writing categories for the Hugo Award.
Fellow Wyrdsmiths, Naomi Krtizer, who I swear knows everything about the Internet, told me about this when we hung out yesterday afternoon. She read Elizabeth Bear's really eloquent and awesome post about it out loud to me while we ate cookies (in my rocking chairs, no less!) on the front porch: http://matociquala.livejournal.com/2195044.html
I'm fairly certain a person could take one look at my LJ icon and understand where I fall on this issue. Hell, the fan category may be my ONLY HOPE for ever winning a Hugo at this point in my career. However, what I wanted to share here is about my experience with younger fans. As I noted on Bear's LJ, my fandom is young. Anime fandom just is. Most of them are at LEAST half my age. This rarely bothers me because my participation in my fandom is shielded by the Internet. I don't use my real name on AO3 and, because I went to Tumblr to follow some of my AO3 friends, I use my fannish handle there too. So, no one knows I'm 46. Except when I tell them...
...or they ask.
A young lady found me on Tumblr and squeed in a private message that she'd wanted to comment on my epic ByaRen fic that I was her favorite fic author ever, but she didn't have an account on AO3. So, she was happy to see that I was on Tumblr and yay! I wrote yay! back and thanked her and we got to talking about fandoms and life and such. She asked me (this was back in June) if I was off school yet.
Hmmmm.
Conundrum.
I decided, like I do with a lot of decisions about coming out, to just go for it and tell her the truth-- that I've been out of school for SOME TIME. In fact, at 46, I was probably as old as her mother. I figured if I lost a follower because I'm too old for Tumblr, so be it.
I expected the conversation to die awkwardly and for her to quietly un-follow me.
Instead, she was... gratefully amazed to discover that she didn't have to give up fandom to grow up. That, as I told her, "Yes, my friend, you CAN grow up to be an otaku."
This is germane to the debate about the fan category because we need new blood, but they also need us. I had mentors when I entered fandom and considered a career as an SF/F writer. Older, grown-up, professionals who were living and leading by example... showed me that yes, some day, if I worked hard, I too could be on panels or maybe even finish a book and get it published. Because here were real people who wrote books on my book shelf. Just by existing, these mentors gave me hope. Made ME become the graying fandom that wonders where all the kids have gone....
So, yeah, we need them. But they need us too.
Plus I've never understood the need to stand above. Yeah, sure, everyone thinks they can write a book and it's much harder than all that, and maybe, as a professional writer, you feel deeply undervalued because society generally undervalues artists of all kinds. But there's no need to punish anyone who is in the middle of the process or who writes for completely different reasons. There's room for all of us. The Hugo is, in point of fact, fan nominated and fan awarded--unlike the Nebula which is nominated and awarded by the members of SFWA. I've not followed this kerfluffle enough to know whose bright idea this is, but I find it deeply weird to even suggest removing the fan categories from the biggest fan organized award in our profession/genre.
Fellow Wyrdsmiths, Naomi Krtizer, who I swear knows everything about the Internet, told me about this when we hung out yesterday afternoon. She read Elizabeth Bear's really eloquent and awesome post about it out loud to me while we ate cookies (in my rocking chairs, no less!) on the front porch: http://matociquala.livejournal.com/2195044.html
I'm fairly certain a person could take one look at my LJ icon and understand where I fall on this issue. Hell, the fan category may be my ONLY HOPE for ever winning a Hugo at this point in my career. However, what I wanted to share here is about my experience with younger fans. As I noted on Bear's LJ, my fandom is young. Anime fandom just is. Most of them are at LEAST half my age. This rarely bothers me because my participation in my fandom is shielded by the Internet. I don't use my real name on AO3 and, because I went to Tumblr to follow some of my AO3 friends, I use my fannish handle there too. So, no one knows I'm 46. Except when I tell them...
...or they ask.
A young lady found me on Tumblr and squeed in a private message that she'd wanted to comment on my epic ByaRen fic that I was her favorite fic author ever, but she didn't have an account on AO3. So, she was happy to see that I was on Tumblr and yay! I wrote yay! back and thanked her and we got to talking about fandoms and life and such. She asked me (this was back in June) if I was off school yet.
Hmmmm.
Conundrum.
I decided, like I do with a lot of decisions about coming out, to just go for it and tell her the truth-- that I've been out of school for SOME TIME. In fact, at 46, I was probably as old as her mother. I figured if I lost a follower because I'm too old for Tumblr, so be it.
I expected the conversation to die awkwardly and for her to quietly un-follow me.
Instead, she was... gratefully amazed to discover that she didn't have to give up fandom to grow up. That, as I told her, "Yes, my friend, you CAN grow up to be an otaku."
This is germane to the debate about the fan category because we need new blood, but they also need us. I had mentors when I entered fandom and considered a career as an SF/F writer. Older, grown-up, professionals who were living and leading by example... showed me that yes, some day, if I worked hard, I too could be on panels or maybe even finish a book and get it published. Because here were real people who wrote books on my book shelf. Just by existing, these mentors gave me hope. Made ME become the graying fandom that wonders where all the kids have gone....
So, yeah, we need them. But they need us too.
Plus I've never understood the need to stand above. Yeah, sure, everyone thinks they can write a book and it's much harder than all that, and maybe, as a professional writer, you feel deeply undervalued because society generally undervalues artists of all kinds. But there's no need to punish anyone who is in the middle of the process or who writes for completely different reasons. There's room for all of us. The Hugo is, in point of fact, fan nominated and fan awarded--unlike the Nebula which is nominated and awarded by the members of SFWA. I've not followed this kerfluffle enough to know whose bright idea this is, but I find it deeply weird to even suggest removing the fan categories from the biggest fan organized award in our profession/genre.
August 9, 2013
Mind the Gap
(Cross-posted from Mental Chaff)
We writers are people. We like to share our successes, we like to hide our failings, our faults, our less-than-perfect moments. Especially online, as we each work to build an audience and reach out to readers, it can be hard to talk about the difficulties and struggles. But there's another group of people who might read this, too: less experienced writers. And they NEED to know how hard it can be.
Today I'm going to talk about the gap. First, let me let Ira Glass, host of National Public Radio's "This American Life" and a fine storyteller, explain:
So, that's the gap. I'm in that gap. I have been for about two years. I am closer now than I have ever been to breaking in, and I know it. That's makes every setback harder to take, worse to struggle through, because my backbrain starts telling me I haven't made any progress, that I'm a hack, that I will *never* make the jump.
Now, my forebrain knows this is a heap of rubbish. But emotions, unfortunately, they bubble up out of that subsurface stew in the backbrain, and they get to simmering on that disappointment and despair, which kicks in the cycle of not working, not writing, depression, and it gets harder and harder to do the work to push forward.
I need to say this, because it's happening to me right now. I need to say this, because it's happening to other writers, right now, too. And I need to say this because it *will happen* to countless others along the way, many of whom have no idea that this is part of the struggle to get where we're going. Campbell isn't as popular as he once was, but I have to see my self as the hero of my own journey, and this is the belly of the whale. It goes deep, and it goes down, and it is dark and foul-smelling. And I have to persist through it. So I will. That doesn't make it any easier, but it does mean it won't last forever.
We writers are people. We like to share our successes, we like to hide our failings, our faults, our less-than-perfect moments. Especially online, as we each work to build an audience and reach out to readers, it can be hard to talk about the difficulties and struggles. But there's another group of people who might read this, too: less experienced writers. And they NEED to know how hard it can be.
Today I'm going to talk about the gap. First, let me let Ira Glass, host of National Public Radio's "This American Life" and a fine storyteller, explain:
So, that's the gap. I'm in that gap. I have been for about two years. I am closer now than I have ever been to breaking in, and I know it. That's makes every setback harder to take, worse to struggle through, because my backbrain starts telling me I haven't made any progress, that I'm a hack, that I will *never* make the jump.
Now, my forebrain knows this is a heap of rubbish. But emotions, unfortunately, they bubble up out of that subsurface stew in the backbrain, and they get to simmering on that disappointment and despair, which kicks in the cycle of not working, not writing, depression, and it gets harder and harder to do the work to push forward.
I need to say this, because it's happening to me right now. I need to say this, because it's happening to other writers, right now, too. And I need to say this because it *will happen* to countless others along the way, many of whom have no idea that this is part of the struggle to get where we're going. Campbell isn't as popular as he once was, but I have to see my self as the hero of my own journey, and this is the belly of the whale. It goes deep, and it goes down, and it is dark and foul-smelling. And I have to persist through it. So I will. That doesn't make it any easier, but it does mean it won't last forever.
August 6, 2013
Diversacon Report
This was written over several days and posted at facebook. Diversacon is a small local con with interesting programming, full of people I really like.
I stayed at Diversacon only a few hours -- to have lunch with friends, attend one panel and be on another. Then I went home and bought The Hostage Prince by Jane Yolen and Adam Stemple via nook. I've read one chapter. So far, so good. I will now settle down and read more. Tomorrow I have two panels, so will be back at the con. I enjoy this business of dropping in to conventions, then going back to my own home to watch a DVD or read.
*
I spent six or seven hours at Diversacon yesterday. Very pleasant, though I didn't get a chance to talk to everyone I wanted to. I was on two panels and attended a couple more and spoke with a number of people, including the GoH Jack McDivitt. A very enjoyable, quiet convention.
Then I came home and watched a DVD. Today I feel tired and slow, due mostly to a poor night's sleep. But slow is not bad. I will hang around home and do a little reading and watch a DVD tonight.
*
Nice things at Diversacon, other than seeing nice people... Russell Letson said he had been thinking of reviewing Big Mama Stories, but discovered three other Locus reviewers had already signed up to review it. My friend Ruth Berman told me her favorite Big Mama Story was the Brer Rabbit one. "The others are fun, but that has heart." It's the story I like the best, but what makes me happy is the various reviews I've seen have all picked different stories as their favorite.
I am talking rather too much about Big Mama Stories, but I am always a bit worried after something I have written comes out. Is it any good? Will people like it? I have said for years that a writer needs a cast iron ego. Unfortunately, I don't have one. I just have the ability to keep trucking, in spite of my doubts. In addition, I really like the Big Mama stories -- I guess because they are in many ways silly, the way tall tales are. Silliness can be a lot of fun. It also can go badly wrong. Serious is easier to pull off. As the man said, "Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult."
For me the master of silly is probably P.G. Wodehouse -- a wonderful stylist with almost perfect pacing, and I have never been able to find any content in his work, except for silliness and style.
August 2, 2013
Day Dreams
I'm day dreaming this morning about what I would do if I had more money. I have more dental work coming up, due to aging fillings and crowns. My glasses are expensive, in part because I have a complicated prescription and in part because I like nice frames.
I'd like to be able to hire a maid service to come in once or twice a month to give the home -- especially the bathrooms and kitchen -- a really good cleaning.
I would like a built-in floor to ceiling bookcase, because we have run out of space for books and objets. I know exactly where I would put the bookcase.
I would like money to go to Iceland, because I want to write more stories about Iceland. I would also like to go to Scotland -- Glasgow, to see the architecture of Charles Rennie Mackintosh, and Edinburgh, because it's supposed to be lovely. I'm also interested in Bolivia and Ecuador.
So... Teeth, glasses, a bookcase, a maid service and a few trips, not long ones.
I will get the dental work, because I have to. I won't need new lenses for at least a year, and new frames for two years. I think I can afford the maid service.
As for travel -- the truth is, I am kind of a stick in the mud. Travel is a mixed good to me. I love the new sights and the memories. I don't like the disruption, and I don't like planes, though I make an exception for Icelandair. So I will probably go to Iceland, but I'm not sure about the other places.
As far as the bookcases go, maybe I will settle for buying one that isn't built in. I have been thinking of one of these.
They are available from Design Within Reach and I think they look interesting.
I'd like to be able to hire a maid service to come in once or twice a month to give the home -- especially the bathrooms and kitchen -- a really good cleaning.
I would like a built-in floor to ceiling bookcase, because we have run out of space for books and objets. I know exactly where I would put the bookcase.
I would like money to go to Iceland, because I want to write more stories about Iceland. I would also like to go to Scotland -- Glasgow, to see the architecture of Charles Rennie Mackintosh, and Edinburgh, because it's supposed to be lovely. I'm also interested in Bolivia and Ecuador.
So... Teeth, glasses, a bookcase, a maid service and a few trips, not long ones.
I will get the dental work, because I have to. I won't need new lenses for at least a year, and new frames for two years. I think I can afford the maid service.
As for travel -- the truth is, I am kind of a stick in the mud. Travel is a mixed good to me. I love the new sights and the memories. I don't like the disruption, and I don't like planes, though I make an exception for Icelandair. So I will probably go to Iceland, but I'm not sure about the other places.
As far as the bookcases go, maybe I will settle for buying one that isn't built in. I have been thinking of one of these.
They are available from Design Within Reach and I think they look interesting.Kelly McCullough's Blog
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