Kat Zantow's Blog, page 5

Bath: when in England, do as the Romans

Bath is highly recommended. Showers are OK too. If you have functional eyes or a casual appreciation for history, you may want to go there. And you will probably find much to recommend. (Unless you're Jane Austen.) If you're a tourist, you'll find the city perfectly sized for a day-trip. If you stay for a couple days and make friends, you'll leave way too soon.
The city has lots of nice architecture that isn't anything like early colonial brick. 
Notable bits include an Abbey that has nothing to do with Abbey Road! 

Had I gone inside, I would've been a fan.
Bath also has the first semicircle in Britain!
The Royal Crescent, rumour has it, houses a Python.
By the size of the structure, it's a really big one.
But you don't go to bath to look at a crescent. You go to look at the bath. It wasn't recent, but maybe you've heard--the Romans were in England once upon a time. And when they were in England, they decided that the supply lines were getting too long to trek back to Rome for a daily bath. So they built amenities. 
Or at least they took a Celtic shrine site, and between year 60 and 370, built a temple and some baths. They left the tub.
Romans once bathed here. Possibly dyed green; certainly dead now. Actually the water wasn't green then. There was a big roof covering the whole thing, so that the Romans didn't have to stare at the 11th century abbey. Thanks to the roof, no algae grew in the bath, and bathing was more effective. Unfortunately, the pipes bringing in the water were made of lead. To make matters even healthier, this was a religious center as well as a spa. People with a chip on their shoulder came from all over to write petty curses in tiny sheets of lead--most commonly due to stolen swim trunks. The complainers then took the sheets and threw them into their enemies' bathwater to give them extra lead poisoning. Kidding. But they did throw the curses into the water, and sacrificed something. (If the lead curse sank, the gods heard them. If it floated, the laws of physics were obviously suspended, and someone turned into a cow.)

Cubist terra cotta warriors.These columns used to hold up a floor, which was raised so that they could do something with the temperature. The Bath Rooms had names like frigidarium (cold bath) and caldarium (bubbling cauldron bath). Presumably the floor was not invisible then.

The really old bit pretty much cracked itself up, and the nice above ground strucure is Victorian, so you can't even stick an ankle in the water. In the museum you can see some old Roman things that have been archaeologed out of the ground. Like the Medusa.

Medusa needed a shave; Perseus obliged with a Sweeney Todd cut.This mysterious face was discovered around the baths. It's called the Medusa because of the fashionable snakes-for-hair look. This seems bizarre to anyone familiar with Medusa, lady gorgon, who wasn't actually reputed to be a bearded lady or married to anyone closeted. This is pretty clearly a dude. But there are some other theories floating around. Something about Oceanus, a water god, or a Celtic sun god, or that time your uncle got drunk and tried to wear a Christmas wreath.

Enough about the bath of Bath. There is a city, too. And a very nice free walking tour that doesn't even want tips.

Walking tour talking point: soot. Fun fact: If you walk around the city of bath, you see a lot of very pretty pale stone buildings. But some eons ago when those chimneys (everywhere with the chimneys) were burning coal, there was a lot of air pollution. They hadn't invented cleaning in those days, so the city of bath used to be covered in soot and dirt. This house has been carefully left caked in dirt and soot to preserve the visual of a bygone era.

Inevitably, you'll get bored of all the pretty buildings and shops that are closed when you need them and streets teeming with American tourists. Escape on a nice river walk!

It's a nice controlled river. As you can see, the sky is more washed out than the banks. 
Not to be arch.
And don't forget Jane Austen. As I mentioned, Austen-tacious used to live here. She kind of hated her time in Bath. And by 'kind of', I mean, she agitated to move back to wherever it was that she grew up. Her parents said no--then her father died suddenly. They moved promptly back to wherever. Not that I'm suggesting anything untoward. I'm just saying that everyone ever told me to avoid the Austen museum. There is one, though. Might even be more informational than this blog post.

Street Art Sweetheart

Love it or hate it, street art is a cultural thing.
And in Shoreditch: street is street as f.

Art is dangerous in England.
Beware The Silence!
Classy.
lasercats acid trip?
I assume they misspelled Les Mis.
Papering leads to an interesting interactive collage.
Happy street.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!
And that was about it for my hour of wandering. Actually, there was a ton more, but some of the quality was closer to ghetto blaster up there.

I saw the sign(s)

I feel like signs in other countries require translation, even if they're in English.

If you are amused, go that way.
Bad 90's pop groups strictly controlled.
Warning: Slip n' slides
(this is an internet classic, right?) I, too, am alarmed.
Instructions for squads?
I kind of want to know the zebra's story. No more amusement. That is all.

Special: Fourth of July in London.

A few days ago there was a massive celebration in Trafalgar Square for Canada day. I wondered, would America get a party? Answer: lots of tavern specials on burgers while their screens play "American movies," or, as one Brit put it "movies."

While I couldn't find the scale of celebration I was looking for, I did go around and photograph everything American I could find. I wasn't looking for propaganda, but--
At the British Library, it's not just CCTV that's watching you.And Sam looks a little scary, but you can still go some places in London and swell with pride. Mostly if you go to the science museum.

I saw this and felt all kinds of patriotic! Too bad we scrapped the space program...On the bright side, we totally fooled the Brits with that landing a spaceship in Arizona gag.

Pictured: the reason you can't find
4th of July celebrations in England.I searched on for something American. And! I found a really good object to commemorate the 4th of July, or rather October 19, 1781:
In the Victoria-Albert museum, we have the Lafayette vase! Which was given to Lafayette by someone, and has a picture of General Cornwallis surrendering to G-Dawg Washington.

Unfortunately, the Ben Franklin House was totally sold out. But that's ok, because I feel like I'm pretty close to the historical aspect at all times. I am running around London with a Th: Jefferson's Monticello waterbottle, after all. 
So after finding some history, I realized it wasn't enough to get into a proper 4th of July spirit. What I really needed was a field, a pool, beers all around, some burgers grilling, and a whole lot of fireworks exploding. 
I didn't find anyone drinking beer in red cups* 
I didn't find a pool. 
I didn't find any fireworks.
But I did find something better. 
Much, much better. 
Five Guys: a great subtle way for everyone to celebrate July 4th
without really coming off as pro-America.Five Guys: like me, started in Virginia. But this is the first ever Five Guys in the United Kingdom!!! It's in soho. Kind of a big deal. I'm not the only one who thought so.
The line, part I. They thought so too.And the line went on... The line, part II. Queuing: the British hobby.And on... The end of the line.This was a lot of people waiting for burgers. Was there an incentive? Free burgers? Free anything? Nope. Not even a little.  
Refresh my mind, how much is a Bacon Cheeseburger in Cville? Less than 8.75 pounds, I think...So I didn't actually wait in line for an hour to get a burger. But seeing the grand opening happen really made America day more American.


*Red cups are impossible to find across the pond, and much coveted. If you travel to the UK/Europe, pack your own beerpong set in your luggage, and you will make all the friends.

Brighton: Royal Pavilion, Beach, and Tiny Shops

Inexplicably, I found no daleks anywhere.A thousand pardons; Wifi has been iffy in a few places recently, and I'm behind on life. Catchup time--Brighton! When I first got off the train, I walked past a BBC window and noticed this guy, Davros, watching the street:

But that's neither here nor there. People don't come to Brighton looking for aliens, they come for bachelorette parties, or "hen-dos." See, Bath used to be relaxation/party central, but a while back, starting about with Henry IV, Brighton usurped Bath as the tiny vice city vacation town of England. With Henry IV royal pavilion to oggle, the historical sea-bathing escape of Austen novels/that time period, Brighton continues to be a thriving beach community, with a massive LGBT population. In the city center, it's kind of like San Francisco or Asheville, but more posh. If you stay out closer to the beach, it gets a lot more like the Outer Banks.

Pause city talk. Let's talk about the palace, by which I mean The Royal Pavilion:
Henry IV's private pleasure palace; a postcolonial pastiche,If you like decorative arts, you have to go inside of the castle. You can't take pictures inside, which makes it a horrible stop for a blog, but you owe it to yourself to look at the 16-foot chandeliers suspended from dragons.

The Pavilion was constructed to boost his ego shortly after the loss of the American colonies. Thus, to proclaim that England was still a rich colonial power, the place is infused with styles from India, as a reminder that they still had it going on, internationally speaking.  Meanwhile, the interior is a totally not-matching style mimicking China. The style is called "chinoiserie," because we need a French word for that.

Henry built this palace to chill out with his various long term committed mistresses. Evidently he didn't value any mistress's ability to take photos of the place; it's impossible to get a good angle anywhere.
You can't see the palace for the bushes.Here is a photo of a postcard of the inside, which should give you an idea that there is more colour and life inside. It's overwhelmingly garish/beautiful/excessive.

This is the smaller chandelier without dragons.
On the bright side, it looks like it's on fire.
But let's backtrack. When you first get off the train from London, you can wind through the Lanes, which will transport you to what London must have looked like 200 years ago. While you have the option of sticking to the main street, you can also turn down narrow twisty alleyways to find Starbucks. Follow signs, since you will get lost, and wander into North Laine, which is a massive collection of independent shops. Among them, an Indian-Goth fusion store, and some other things that made less sense and were even more expensive.


Pedestrian mall: possibly only here because there is now way cars are fitting.See, as evidenced by the tiny winding lanes and old buildings, they don't really build new things in Brighton. The emphasis on preservation makes it a good counterpoint to London, which, as I mentioned, is a blend of very old and rocketships.

A random backyard(?) Why not have it in the middle of shops!Unfotunately, you can't get a good picture to demonstrate narrow winding streets when you are inside of them. Something about angles and visual blockades.
The streets: they were narrow. And when you get tired of shopping, you can go to the beach! And enjoy the nice weather!
Beautiful weather! Water is the opposite of warm! Beach! All without sand in sight!By any definition of good, this is a beach. It's legitimately a nice place to sit by the sea and let the sea breezes cool you on a hot day (and this was taken in perfect beach weather). There's the pier with all the pier stuff, if you're into that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the above pic was taken while passing through. I was busy that day with all the tours and shops and things. I would leave the full day of beach enjoyment until tomorrow!

This was tomorrow.On the whole, I like my beaches warmer. It was a nice place to walk around, if you wanted to wear a jacket and shoes and pants and then leave anyway because the wind was too cold.
Brighton: by all accounts a great place to live. But if you want to rent, you'd better have six months rent to pony up front. Not everyone does. Consequently, you will meet a lot of local residents in the hostels. Unless they get tired of having the same conversation, they are friendly and can give you good insight into viewing the city as a local. 
If you go hosteling in Brighton, stay at Kipps. Avoid the Smart Sea View, because it isn't. 

Franklin's House

In case you were curious, Franklin lived really close to Trafalgar Square. I assume he hung out at the British Museum all the time and never got into any trouble. 
Unfortunately, I got there at 4:30, and the last tours are at 4:15. Thanks, unhelpful travel apps! 
The apartment is part of a row and unmarked and unremarkable, but they do have this fine plaque:
TS Eliot's old house doesn't get a plaque.
But BF does! Everyone loved big Ben!
Jolly old pump thunder!What do you think, should I return and take a tour next week? 

Thursday: Scattered bits of a city-wide hike

The hottest new hostel in London is Arsenal Tavern Hostel. It's got everything! Attached dive-bar, triple-tall bunk beds, white bread and jam for breakfast, and literal mushrooms growing between the showers! 

Thursday I hiked around London. It was great fun, and quite a lot of walking.
I couldn't go into the museum, because it was NOT
redesigned to look like the true Sherlock's apartment.Baker Street was nice, and of course necessitated a trip to Speedy's sandwich shop.

Then there was some shopping, and anyone who thinks British fashion is forward--be informed that this is for sale: 
This inadequate photo does not show you the glitter on the pug's medalion,
as well as the overall legs awkwardly rolled up to mid calf.Shopping did not result in me actually buying anything, though I was really tempted at Camden Market. 
I feel like I've seen this picture before...Big Ben is pretty cool. Does it look better at night?

Then V for Vendetta showed up...
kidding. JJ Abrams style lens flare for flair.Maybe.

Like David Bowie, London has one blue Eye.
Though if you stand under the eye, you know exactly how ants feel right before you run over them with a bicycle.

They should make another wheel, then it will look like an underground bike
or Dr. Eckleburg turning into a hypnotic machine.
It is a very interesting city to walk around. Lots of the architecture is lovely, and sometimes you see things that just don't make sense--
Alien snowflake attack? 
It's a really interesting city, with the blend of very old and very modern architecture. There is scaffolding everywhere, and everything gives the impression of progress. Also, there are startlingly few homeless people panhandling at the tourist sites. 

Wednesday in London: Museum Mecca

The great thing about London is that so many museums are free. Wednesday, I devoted my time to seeing The British Museum, The National Gallery, and the National Portrait Gallery.

Rosetta Stone. All those languages,
and I couldn't read it at all!The British Museum: They tell you to take the whole day to see it. Maybe, if you want to shoulder through everyone taking pictures to take the time to read the plaques. It is an exercise in photobombing every single person visiting London who thinks they need to take a picture of the Rosetta stone behind glass. And they do need to, because where else are they going to find that kind of translation aid, except on those plastic bags that tell you don't-use-it-as-a-toy-or-you'll-suffocate, very thoroughly in every language.

It is also amazing as a record of British Imperial History. This is clear from the first room, which looks like they ripped huge chunks out of the set of The Mummy. I really enjoyed being there, at first, the whole place had me Indiana Jonesing for a treasure hunt. But the sheer volume of people to push through also kind of made the experience being stuck in the Tube at rush hour. #SummerTouristProblems



This head was huge. Maybe I should have photographed the tourists for contrast. But I was trying to pretend that they didn't exist, and that I was on the set of the Mummy.

You get a great sense that wall-carvings are really the way to tell the story of a civilization.
Too bad the civilizations lost their stories to a museum.After a while, I started to imagine that Egypt was completely empty of old things--except for the pyramids, of course, because those are bolted down.

These girls will never get ahead in life.
They've been here since 1817.Tourists! Taking pictures! The horror! It really did get tiring.

Lion around Trafalgar Square.After all of that, I walked through the city until I got to The National Portrait Gallery and The National Gallery. It was kind of a lot of walking, but it was great to see paintings after all the cultural objects. There was a great display of contemporary artists who are really very good and whose names I instantly forgot.

Those museums have a no-photos policy, so I was able to look around in peace, and it was much more relaxing, and involved less people dodging. Highlights: I saw the famously horrible portrait of Kate Middleton, surrounded by people tsking at how awful the artist had made her look. Shortly afterwards I came across the ugly duchess, and decided that Kate's portrait could be worse.

The British Museum is right on Trafalgar Square.
I always used to get Trafalgar Square and Tienanmen Square confused...
Fun fact: the place where Ben Franklin used to live is very close,
also the place TS Eliot used to live, but he doesn't get a museum.

Historical Disneyland: The Tower of London!

Not London Bridge, Tower Bridge. You can tell because it is made of towers, visible from the Tower of London,
and not,
in fact,
falling down. Gee, RR Martin, where do you get your inspirations? Went to the Tower of London today. Partly to see the room they'd ripped up and found 1500 executed bodies. Party to see the Beefeaters. Partly to see that punch bowl. (You couldn't take pictures, but obviously someone on the internet has). But mostly it was to stand where Moriarti stood before he smashed the window an stole the crown jewels.

The Tower of London also has ravens that live there. I am surprised that they have not carried off any gold/jewels. They have a magpie glint in their eyes.


ToL: Less a tower, more a bunch of buildings and walls. And outside the Tower of London was the above bridge that was painted for a Jubilee. Plus some great views of the Thames and stuff that people are actively constructing along the Thames.

Looking at these new/in progress buildings, I realized:

I totally get the future-London in Star Trek now. Which of these is not like the others? So here's a question for you: which London do you like? a. Square Towers? b. Giant Faberge Rocket Ships?
Do the crows even have anywhere to land on the giant egg? Do they get confused and roost?

Top three things I learned from Flying: Gullible Travels

I love airplanes. They're fun to jump out of, provided you have a parachute/someone who knows what they are doing. Right now, fully realizing the true meaning of jet lag, I kind of hate them. Last night was DC to Iceland to London.

This was my first time doing international plane travel. It seemed much the same as domestic, except that everything was said in Icelandic.

Lesson 1: stand your ground!
It looks like a circuit board!
If you picked your seat, don't agree to swap with anyone for any reason.

An adorable family asked to switch their son's seat with mine. They said he had a window seat a few forward. This was true, but the windows aren't aligned, so my visibility was halved! (I would care a lot if I was missing more than circuit boards and black sky.) It also seemed to be the loudest seat on the plane. Earplugs and headphones are my new favorite things.

Lesson 2: don't think too hard

#thatawkwardmomentwhen you realize you have no idea
if this is Iceland or clouds. Spoiler: clouds.Clouds are weird. Deal with it.

Lesson 3: London is tiny
Not really, but when the plane brings you in, down into Heathrow, you enter at just the right distance for the entire city to look like it's made of miniatures. The architecture and cars also work very well to make them look like they are toys.

It is quite possible that I was also suffering increasingly from the effects of sleep deprivation when I was most convinced we were flying very low over a miniature city.

This isn't what I'm talking about. I couldn't take pictures
for the thing I was talking about or else the electronic radiation
would've made a terrible movie plot.

Also everything is culture shock; Taylor Swift was the first thing I saw on tv.