H.B. Berlow's Blog, page 11

Tikiman and The Viking

So, what do writers do when they get together? Most of you assume we drink. While that is not UNtrue, it’s not all. We get into critique groups. (I’ve been in two different ones with vastly different writers.) We go to workshops. (I’ve been to both a poetry and general writing workshop at Wichita’s Advanced Learning Library hosted by my dear friend April Pameticky.) We attend writer’s conferences. (One of my favorites is OWFI in Oklahoma City.)

And since we love to talk about writing so much, we also do podcasts.

Well, this is an introduction to Tikiman and The Viking, a podcast about writing and creativity in the Midwest. It will be hosted by me (Tikiman) and Brian Johnson (the Viking). I’ve known Brian for close to 20 years. Our first serious discussion about writing took place at the end of the 2012 Kansas Writers Association Conference. We stood there in the banquet room after dinner. All I said was “So, what are you working on now?” The discussion lasted until the wait staff was glaring at us to leave after everyone else has cleared out.

He writes fantasy; I write historical crime fiction. He’s a storm chaser and winemaker (among other things); I’m a baker and sausage maker (among other things). The differences are nothing compared to the passion that we share for writing and the craft associated with it.

The podcast will be on YouTube and Spotify. The links and all the pretty stuff are being finalized. But you can catch an early listen to episode one here.

We welcome your feedback, questions, and comments. This is a labor of love because talking about writing and all things creative is motivating for us. And whether you are a writer or a reader or any type of creative individual, hopefully it will motivate you as well.

WORLDWIDE RELEASE NOTICE

gobsmacked

[ gob-smakt ]

adjectiveChiefly British Slang.

utterly astounded; astonished:

I am gobsmacked to announce the release date of my new historical crime fiction novel The Day of Calamity. It is volume one of the Wichita Chronicles and is set to drop from my publisher, The Wild Rose Press on November 29, 2023.

Considering it is after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, I think this new book might be an excellent present for the readers in your circle.

This is by far the most personal book I have written with a character closer to my sensibilities than I have ever created before. So many family, friends, and co-workers have listened to my tales of research and development on this that I know they will be as excited as I am.

Here is the blurb:

Private detective Harold Bergman stood as a testament to his former life as a Wichita Kansas policeman. Having endured the brutalities of World War II, he carries a slight but noticeable limp, a constant reminder of the battles fought on distant shores. As a Jew, his identity is woven into the very fabric of his being, but he cannot fulfill his father’s wishes that he become a rabbi, and instead faces a world where the laws of God and the laws of man don’t make sense, taking it upon himself to find the Truth and perhaps himself.

Harold finds himself entangled in the lives of a spoiled daughter, and the wayward husband of a devout colored woman. Their cases take Harold on a perilous journey into the depths of a dark underworld, where shadows dance with malicious intent and faith emerges as his sole weapon. Failure to wield it will usher in a day of calamity.

Additionally, I had the great pleasure of providing Harold with two feline associates, Lady Mittens and Sir Pounce, who also share the names with my own feline companions. They are looking forward to it as well.

Over the course of the next few months, there will be excerpts, a cover reveal, and even a different kind of book trailer showing aspects of Wichita Kansas now and then. Please join me on this incredible journey.

W.I.P. – THE ONGOING SAGA

This post is not titled “I’M IN WAY OVER MY HEAD” or even “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME.” It could, however, be just as easily titled “COMMON METHODS OF MOTIVATIONS FOR WRITERS.” Because when I initially posted on July 27, 2022 about works in progress, it was largely for the purpose of specifically identifying writings that I was actively working on or wished to pick up again.

My follow up post a scant three months later on October 19, 2022 helped me to identify my progress. As I learned, all it takes is signing a book contract to skew everything.

Let’s review the initial list, the original progress, and where I stand today. The original post is in italics; the follow-up is dated and current status follows:

Fifth draft on book one of new historical crime fiction series. This takes place in post-WW II Wichita with a main character (private investigator) who is Jewish and finds himself caught up between the Laws of God and the Laws of man. Conscientiously avoiding stereotypical tropes of hard-boiled crime fiction while attempting to maintain the mood and tone. So far, as much research as writing.

10-19-22 Well, this has been submitted to a publisher who has shown interest. After the first three chapters, there was a request for the complete manuscript

Today: Contract signed. Revisions with my wonderful editor done. Galleys reviewed, cover art created by publisher. Next up: release date!

**

The outline for book two of aforementioned series. Now that I have a strong feeling for the main character and the substance of the series, why not?

10-19-22 I actually started writing this one. A chapter and a half and more of an outline but mostly approaching as a Pantser.

Today: First draft completed. I typically give it a little rest before going through rewrites. This “rest” has taken longer due to completion work on first book.

**

Third draft of one-off historical crime fiction novel. This was an attempt to use Aristotle’s principles of unity to a certain degree. Titled “63 Hours in Wichita”, it is largely an experiment in condensing a taut action crime tale down to basic elements in a reasonable time frame, yet using that time as an impetus to tell the tale.

10-19-22 Nothing further yet. Needs for thought to flesh it out and make it more action oriented.

Today: Nothing Further. Still think it’s good work but as previously stated needs to be less cerebral and contain more action.

**

First draft of a pulp fiction novel. Like real old school, 50’s cheese. A paroled ex-con just trying to rebuild his life encounters a wide-ranging cast of characters, including his ex-wife, in a factory that manufactures carnival novelties. Going for dark and seedy.

10-19-22 Another two chapters. I have to be a more seedy mood for writing this.

Today: A couple more chapters written. Perhaps 75% completed. Currently on hold.

**

Reworking a transgressive novel I started over 15 years ago. It is the tale of a bored 40-soemthing divorcee who hates his job and encounters a mentor who teaches him how to be a contract killer as a sideline. Naturally, the elements of darkness seep through this, as well as subtle commentary regarding self-help and wellness programs. This one is titled WEEKEND GETAWAYS, OR ADVENTURES IN CONTRACT KILLING.

10-19-22 Revised, edited, and submitted to two publishers. Still researching others prone to this genre.

Today: One rejection, one no-response. There are fewer publishers of this type of work and perhaps this piece is not “out there” enough. But it is a passion piece and I will continue to try to find a home for it.

**

Reworking a metafiction entitled THE NOVEL TITLED “THIS IS NOT A NOVEL” in which a fictional biographer named H.B. Berlow is writing a biography of a fictional author named…H.B. Berlow. It touches upon the essay “The Death of the Author” by Roland Barthes who argues against that form of literary criticism that uses an author’s biography and experiences in order to find the meaning of their work.

10-19-22 Still revising and editing. Completed another 50 pages since original post.

Today: I have gone through the manuscript completely. Another tough sell due to the experimental nature of it. Again, there IS a home for this piece. Somewhere.

**

Reworking a contemporary crime fiction tentatively titled PROFESSOR THUG. It was outlined as a tribute to a late co-worker who was truly an intellect but looked like, well, a thug. Have gone through at least three different outlines and am still trying to figure out what the story actually is.

10-19-22 Nothing further.

Today: Had reworked the first two chapters, then stopped. Need to find the passion for this again.

**

Reworking an episodic contemporary crime fiction tentatively titled THE STOOGES revolving around three guys who come together for a heist who have no business doing anything other than working in fast food. They get in very deep. This was a former NaNoWriMo project.

10-19-22 Nothing further.

Today: Nothing further. Not even started to review it. Might be dead in the water.

**

Outlining an alternate history novel. I actually have two tracks this could run. Even though the series has ended, I started watching THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE on Amazon Prime and became fascinated by the concept. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

10-19-22 Nothing further. I fear this might require a great deal of research, even more than I’m used to.

Today: Officially dead in the water. Doing research for historical crime fiction is tough enough without having to alter/revise/corrupt it for the sake of a story is too much for me now.

**

Outlining a two-scene one-act play. A friend who did a session at the 2022 OWFI Writers Conference provided the inspiration as well as the encouragement. My drama days were years ago. Hopefully, I’ve grown as a writer and I can do this again.

10-19-22 Completed. Sent to a friend who is an actor and playwright who found it a worthy effort. So, I know I can do this. Now, the question is what to do with it and what further works can I create?

Today: I wrote a second one-act play. Haven’t revised it. Have a mental outline for yet another piece. Got a suggestion from a friend about a local theater group. Will likely continue this endeavor.

**

Progress in writing is not a scorecard. We think of developing a project or multiple projects much in the way you would prepare a multi-course dinner. Some things cook slowly; others are seared in a flash of flame. There is a balance but ultimately a writer needs focus.

Perhaps I have worked on many items at once to avoid becoming disengaged from a project. Then again, other pieces have lost their fascination. Maybe that’s a signal that I won’t be able to put my whole heart in and create a fascinating story.

I have several items from the past, old published work now out of print, that I look back on and wonder who wrote them. My tastes have changed. My voice has changed. My skills have changed. There’s no need to make a meatloaf when I know how to prepare a prime rib. (Bad example: I love a good meatloaf!)

Did I NEED the motivation? You would think that with my many prior posts about its importance in my life, that would be a secondary consideration. The truth of the matter is we all need the motivation, largely because that emotional energy and drive combined with the craft is what makes everything work.

I’ll let you know what happens next.

FINDING MYSELF THROUGH WRITING, PART 3

If I absolutely declare I am fashioning a character closer to my mentality, there is something to be said about the way he speaks, acts, even dresses. Those who know me are well aware of my utter fascination with Hawaiian shirts. Whereas this was not de rigueur for 1946, the notion of someone dressing to express themselves is analogous.

I am not a veteran. I have never worked in law enforcement. Again, these are specifics of a character that do not relate to a writer declaring an affinity for said character. How then is Harold Bergman like me, and what have I learned about myself from constructing him?

Let’s start simply. He is Jewish. He has great respect for his parents and his religion. He is studious and well read. He has a collection of varied, eccentric, and highly interesting friends. He is loyal and caring. It’s an easy enough start. Those are amenable yet simple attributes and don’t make us any more compadres than college roommates.

That Harold has returned from the war with a shaken belief in how law and order can exist is similar to how I have felt since the Covid pandemic, the extremism of beliefs, and the deep divides created in this country. That he chooses to find some degree of comfort in his religious upbringing yet has difficulty in accepting black and white moral judgments is a quandary I have discovered in myself on several occasions over the last three plus years.

While the circumstances we both face are different, the abyss we stare into is relatively the same. As a private detective, his profession forces him to make discoveries out of the shadows of secrets, finding resolutions (or truths) to meet a certain end. All I can do is write and exert my creativity in the small hope of finding similar truths.

Despite the circles we both have in our lives, these paths of discovery are often travelled alone. They have to be, largely because no one can tell us what we need to know. Like waking after a long sleep or emerging from a tunnel into the light, the kind of profounder revelations being sought require us to dig deep into places many of us would not choose to go into willingly.

Harold will sacrifice on this journey. While I do not consider him to be a mythic hero anymore than I would apply that nomenclature to myself, the answers are sought wherever they may be found.

ADDENDUM: My cats, Sir PounceAlot (the orange manx) and Lady Mittens (the tuxedo manx) were featured in the last blog post. This is because they will be featured in the new series. In short, Harold Bergman has these two exact feline roommates and finds peace in their presence. This is not unlike myself. Needless to say, the cats are tremendously excited.

FINDING MYSELF THROUGH WRITING, PART 2

I will freely admit much of my association with the Old Testament and Talmud faded for quite some time after my bar mitzvah 48 years ago. Like many people of my generation, we were imbued in our religious upbringing, went off to college, explored the world, tasted a bit of freedom, and, if we were lucky, circled back around to a decent productive life.

By the same token, I never denied being a Jew and felt more at home with the moral education I had received in my youth. My father passed away in 2012; my mother in 2014. It was likely, I became more attuned to what being Jewish really meant.

Those notions had to be intertwined with who I am as a person, who I had been in my youth, and how I evolved. There are teachings and scripture but in Judaism, they are not a blanket under which everyone rests. They are guidelines for a way of living life. For example, just because I do not keep Kosher does not mean I can’t be a good Jew.

I had fun taking names of customers and clients and weaving them into crime tales. Certainly, I would not directly harm anyone simply because they were rude or disrespectful over the phone, knowing I would never come face to face with them. After a while, that kind of emotional sublimation is not necessary because it is pointless.

The creation of Harold Bergman, on the other hand, has allowed me to explore concerns I have regarding the law, justice, and moral integrity. I can use this almost 30 year old former policeman/war veteran/private detective to ask the questions either I didn’t ask or didn’t know to ask when I was his age. He is an investigator in the “walking a beat” sense; my methodologies involve construction of a story and asking the hard questions.

Once a release date is confirmed, I will go into greater details regarding the plot of the book. For now, suffice it to say I have developed a character that I feel more psychically connected to than at any prior point in my writing. We walk alongside each other, like brothers, asking the questions that many self-aware moral individuals might ask.

The answers don’t always come. But we keep asking the questions. That is how we gain greater insights into ourselves and come closer to God.

NEXT: What have I learned about myself in learning about my main character (and why cats are featured in the photos).

FINDING MYSELF THROUGH WRITING, PART 1

Most people are aware that Art is one of the highest forms of self-expression. While the medium may differ, most artists feel and sense something about their lives and surroundings and then translate those sentiments into an artistic form.

Writers, musicians, artists and sculptors, spoken word artists, graphic designers, weavers — the list goes on and on. Whether it is words or tones and rhythms, brush strokes, any tool within the discipline, the ultimate goal is to express a thought, feeling, impulse, or emotion.

Certainly, there are writers who mass produce books or singers who come out with faint copies of their style to satisfy their fans. This is a product being created, a saleable item, a commodity. We need not begrudge those who do that. But I don’t look too hard for anything of great value within such works.

I believe I have always had a facility with words, whether verbal communication or business correspondence. It has taken a great effort throughout my sixty years to develop a sense of craft, to allow my output to have a reasonable value in terms of entertainment and acceptability.

Crime fiction came naturally to me. I have worked in customer service for a vast number of years and used the genre as a release from stress. But, also, there was the notion of delving into the mind of people, attempting in some fashion to determine why some people do bad things. It was largely a casual inquiry.

Over the last several years, I have made a conscious effort to imbue my works with more of a sense of, well, ME. The Ark City Confidential Chronicles series was meticulously researched. The main character developed and grew over the twenty-year span of the series. Eventually, it reached a natural conclusion.

It was 2019. I was finishing up on the last book in the series (“From Somewhere in a Dream”). My wife was away for the weekend. I was in the hot tub with a martini, consciously trying to discern the new character in the next series.

I knew I wanted him to be a Jew. I wanted to have more of a connection with him. I needed him to have a physical flaw as I felt that would identify his fallibility. So, if you’re working in the historical milieu, where does one obtain an impediment? World War II was the perfect time period.

However, I was intent on this being a private detective. Simply having an injured vet become a private detective did not seem reasonable enough. If he were a cop before the war, that would make a nice segue. But why wouldn’t he simply return to his former job?

This is where I was able to touch upon the moral, psychological, and existential dilemma for such a character. If his family had wanted him to be a rabbi, I could have a main character torn between the laws of man and the laws of God.

There it was. The characteristics I was looking for. Furthermore, I would be subverting the genre by ignoring most of the standard tropes. No cheap bottle of rye in a desk drawer. No heavy amount of smoking, rooms filled to the brim. No excessive gunplay.

The cases would primarily involve looking for missing people. It plays into the notion of a search for a person as well as a search for the truth. Old Testament and Talmudic scripture would be included because those were the moral guiding principles. His background as a policeman provided the legal sense of justice. The story lay in between.

And so, Harold Bergman was born. As I wrote of his cases in a new forthcoming book, I saw his dilemma through my eyes. While he was just short of 30 and I am now 60, it was almost like looking back at myself. Assuming I was a veteran and former policeman.

It is not the biographical details of his life that allow me to find more of myself while telling Harold’s tale. It is: being a Jew in a world that might not like or trust you; torn between wanting to get ahead and perhaps taking shortcuts or adhering to the moral principles under which you were raised, no matter how difficult; and accepting the need for a gun and acquiescing to violence or using intellect and logic to reason out a resolution.

NEXT: How understanding your characters helps you understand yourself

THE VIEW FROM WHERE I SIT

They say the further forward you go, the further back you can see. This assumes that everything behind you hasn’t been erased or eradicated in some fashion.

I little over a year ago, as my wife and I were going through a house search for the purposes of downsizing, I randomly went onto an app and looked up my childhood home. This 3BD, 1BA, 1356 SQ FT house my parents purchased for $13,900 in 1957 and in which they raised 4 children, sold for half a million dollars. It’s the same address but when I look at the pictures, it’s not the same house.

My favorite pizza place, family owned for 60 years, is now up for sale. Perhaps it will be purchased by someone with the appreciation of its importance to the community. I just read today my elementary school is no longer going to exist. Uncertain if it is to be torn down or turned into apartments or condos.

So, you have to be a realist and hold on to your memories. How long will that last? Reading about the horrors of dementia and Alzheimer’s, you shudder to think you will lose all you ever had.

You get to be a certain age and people want you to focus on your future, your retirement plans, how will you afford, well, to live. I’ve been doing that for the last six or seven years. I’m focused. I’m aware. I plan. But what of today?

No, I am not advocating hedonism by any means. But when you consider all you have been through in life and the uncertainty of what is to come, there is nothing wrong with paying attention to the here and now. What some will call “being in the moment.”

Too much of my life is a routine. Waking up at a given time, morning schedule, going to work, fixed breaks and lunches, home to make dinner, maybe find time to write or read. It’s unavoidable. Life revolves around work.

Ok, but like the Stoics say, all you can control is your response to things that happen. If I simply look at everything fresh and new, it does not become stale and worn. Emerson’s quote comes to mind in this regard:

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

I really try to make each day fresh and new. I try not to be what someone else expects of me but the honest and true version of who I am. The version it has taken me sixty years and counting to become. I live for my expectations, not others. I am not shedding the skin of the past; it is disappearing slowly of its own due course. I have hopes for the future, plans for it, but can’t control it beyond my meager means.

Ah, but let us talk about now. Right now. This moment. Sit a spell with me. I’ll wait.

25

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Define Romance.

Go ahead. I’ll wait.

I suppose if I actually gathered all the responses, I would find a wide array based on several demographics: Age. Prior or current relationship experiences. Gender. Race. Even economic factors. The affluent might find it romantic to jet off to Paris in search of the best crepe suzettes while an elderly couple in New England would sit on their front porch holding hands. It is one of the most subjective and personal concepts that exists.

Even within the course of a long relationship, the definition may change. That does not mean that Romance wanes, simply that it progresses.

Tomorrow I will be celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary. The notion of it takes my breath away. Not because of its length but because of its scope. At the time I met my wife, I was working in a music store in Boston, a Bohemian poet quite content with my small living space and the learning I absorbed writing and reading and commiserating with an expansive collection of artists and other writers. She, on the other hand, was merely taking on a part-time job to defray the cost of moving. In essence, it could have ended long before it began.

My move to be with her, both geographically and emotionally, went through the common roughness that any transition would. In the short six months we were together in Boston, we had to be patient knowing it would take a lifetime to get to know each other. Ah, but there’s the rub, as the Bard would say. Just when you get to know someone, they might already be in the process of changing and evolving.  You either grow weary or become more engaged.

I

After 25 years, I love the woman that my wife IS even more than who she was. That she is progressing, evolving, growing, is a joyful thing to watch, experience, and be a part of. I, too, know that I have become who I was meant to be and she seems to have no regret in that regard.

Romance, to me, at this point in my life, is knowing that the one to whom I swore a vow is willing to continue to be with me as we journey forward, both as individuals and as partners. Romance is found in joy and respect and laughter and commitment. I saw that in my parents (who themselves were married for 65 years). It’s a hell of a legacy.

To my wife, as I said to you one night in Boston in 1995: Ya vas lublyu!

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EVOLUTION

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evolution

[ ev-uh–loo-shuhn or, especially British, ee-vuh– ]

noun

any process of formation or growth; development:

When I first ventured forth into writing novels, I was drawn to crime fiction. My efforts in screen-writing (based on my college education) revolved around story-telling. My prodigious work in poetry involved metrics and rhythms. Fiction, to me, seemed an appropriate venue for releasing pent-up emotions based in a large part on working in the customer service sector.

I started with derivative works in the contemporary genre. There was a bit of the hard-boiled school thrown in, always with an eye toward Hammett and Chandler, yet heavily influenced by Tarantino. Then, over the course of time, I listened to my wife’s late uncle, a long time resident of Arkansas City, Kansas (colloquially referred to as Ark City.) His anecdotes did not revolve around his time spent there or even the 60’s or 70’s. I heard tales of the Prohibition Era, a small Kansas town known as “Little Chicago” complete with underground tunnels that harkened back to the Old West. These stories were the spark that lit the fuse.

From 2016 to 2021, the four books of the Ark City Confidential Chronicles (Ark City Confidential; Secrets of the Righteous; Lost in the Plains; From Somewhere in a Dream) were published by The Wild Rose Press. But when Larry Hammer passed away, it was only fitting the series came to an end. I had learned so much about researching for historical crime fiction, had developed a passion for it, and appreciated how much I had learned with regard to character arcs over a multi-book series. It didn’t hurt that, for the last three books, I was guided by my incomparable editor, Judi Mobley, who shaped me like a sculptor shapes clay.

The time had come for me to step up to the plate once again. My first foray into historical crime fiction was inspired by another man’s experiences. I wanted, needed, a main character who was closer to my own sensibilities, experiences, perhaps even flaws. I wanted someone with whom I shared an ideal, despite being separated by decades.

I am pleased to announce I have signed a contract, again with The Wild Rose Press, for “The Day of Calamity”, the first book for what I hope will be another series. This time, my main character is Harold Bergman, a former Wichita, KS policeman who enlisted after Pearl Harbor. Injured in battle, he returned home with a limp. His father’s desire for him to become a rabbi is met with deaf ears. His former colleagues can’t get him to join them once again. Torn between the Laws of God and the laws of man, this private detective seeks an understanding of the world in which he lives.

Eschewing the traditional detective tropes (i.e. the cheap bottle of rye in the desk drawer, rooms full of cigarette smoke, excessive gunplay, etc.) my hope is to create a realistic and heartfelt environment while following one man’s personal and spiritual journey within the crime fiction genre.

I look forward to you joining me on this new adventure.

Peeling Back the Layers

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Personally, I have an issue with the expression “finding yourself.” Perhaps those who are lost or feel they are lost need to search for their identity, their essence, their being. However, something about the expression seems to imply a single entity that has vanished from the consciousness. That categorically definable “I” that is no longer a part of your being.

For my part, I have evolved over time. Not from a lesser being to a higher one, but simply more from one to another. An individual who, by fate, circumstances, external forces, or determined effort, stood at any moment in time and could declare intention, likes and dislikes, and motivations. When that evolution is stalled, for whatever reason, I refer to it as “discovering myself.”

It’s like meeting someone at a cocktail party or social event. I can look in the mirror and see me just I can see this new person I am meeting. That’s the first bit of identification. At the party, I can ask leading questions to determine who this person before me truly is, what their opinions may be, their tastes, their intellect, and eventually their overall compatibility.

It is tougher to make those same inquiries from the image in the mirror. You can ask the questions but you may not get an adequate response. This then requires an internal discovery. An honest approach will bring forth revelations, some of which may be surprising or unintended but nevertheless real. The answers, the ultimate truths, have to be faced. Anything short of that is like living a lie.

I could say I am not happy with such-and-such since it is not how I used to be or feel. This is forcing you to stay in a rut, do what you’ve done simply because it’s what you’ve always done. There is comfort in familiarity. Newness is not born in celestial light but in the darkness of uncertainty, daring you to step forward and make your claim toward the Being you are now.

I find myself in a transitional period of time, one in which I am evolving yet again, and doing my best to discover who this entity is and what he wants of life now and in the future. I have experience, a capacity for logical thinking, and a heart filled with a creative drive. It is not possible, at this juncture, to say what is next. It’s a path of discovery. Once I find out, I’ll let you know.