C.J. Redwine's Blog, page 21

Chicken of Destiny!

1. Remember that writer's retreat I went on a couple weeks ago?

2. The one in that gorgeous cabin up in the Smoky Mountains?

3. Well THIS is the picture that literally overlooked my bed.

4. Not that reassuring.

5. We decided to name him Bearward, for obvious reasons.

6. He has fangs.

7. He's watching me while I sleep.

8. And he's in a meadow.

9. All he's missing is some sparkle! We considered going after him with some glitter pens to really let him give Robert Pattinson a run for his vampire money, but decided it wasn't worth the potential "defacing property" fee.

10. The other day, Daredevil yelled to Starshine, "Quick! Come in here! I've got a Chicken of Destiny!"

11. If you google images for "Chicken of Destiny" you get stuff like this:



I am the Chicken of Destiny. You doubt? Come closer and I shall peck the doubt right out of you.
and this


No, I am the Chicken of Destiny. Ever heard of a Were-Chicken? Yeah. That's right. You're looking at her.
and this


Clearly, I am the finest specimen of Chicken you'll ever find. *Insert various inappropriate jokes about nuggets here* You know you want to be my Destiny.
I do not claim to understand Google's reasoning for these search results. I had to change my search perameters to get pics of the true Chicken of Destiny:


Walter, the Chicken of Destiny, during his polka dot phase.

Following in the noble footsteps of his ferocious ancestor:


Wilbur, the original Chicken of Destiny
12. I've now decided all truly great stories should have a Chicken of Destiny somewhere in their depths.

13. I tried to find you an amazing Chicken of Destiny video to cap off the post, but alas. It seems the great Chicken of Destiny is camera shy.

DEFIANCE Ponies!

I promised you magical ponies, and here they are! Thanks to the always devious Beth Revis for giving me the idea. :) I went to this pony creator (Warning! Time suck!) and made a pony to represent each of the main characters in DEFIANCE.

This is Rachel. She's an impulsive, determined girl who goes after what she wants and doesn't let obstacles stop her from doing what she thinks is right. She wears a copper wrist cuff to block tracking devices, and everyone in my world wears a cloak when they travel. Rachel's cloak is blue because she's loyal to the core.



This is Logan. He's a fiercely smart inventor who is always thinking three steps ahead of everyone else. He's wearing goggles (Yes. Those are goggles. Use your imagination.) because one of his inventions in DEFIANCE requires the use of steampunk-ish goggles. He has a horn because, while he is often underestimated by the villain, he is a warrior disguised as a tech head. :) His cloak is evergreen (Yes. I know it looks like apple green. Again, use your imagination.) because he is faithful and constant.


I might eventually have to make ponies for the entire cast! When I have a spare five hours to burn. :)

DEFIANCE Goodies!

Photo courtesy of the talented Brooke Shaden.The pic isn't my cover, but is an image that reminds me strongly of Rachel, the heroine in DEFIANCE. My cover reveal won't be for a while longer. :)

But I do have some pre-release stuff to discuss. First of all, if you're a book blogger, a reviewer, or a librarian, there is a page at the top of my blog where you can fill out a form to request an ARC of DEFIANCE. Harper Collins has the final say in where they send the ARCs, but I thank you so much for being interested in reading my book. *hands you a cookie*

I'm currently working on putting together a list of ideas for things to use as prizes around my release date. I'm also working on a list of possible swag I might get for book signings. But with this in mind, I'd like to figure out how best to invest my funds. That's where you come in!

If you regularly buy YA books, enter contests for YA books, and/or go to book signings for YA books, would you please answer the following questions for me? *hands you MANY cookies*

1. Do you enter giveaways online? If so, do you only want to win books or do you love to get one of a kind prizes that relate to the book (like jewelry or other swag)?

2. When you go to a book signing, do you care if the author offers swag (stickers or bookmarks)? Or is that something you leave on the table because you'll just lose it or you'll never use it?

Thanks for your help!

Top 12 Reasons Why I Love The UK

12. Big Ben. I mean really. He's the kind of clock who laughs at other, lesser clocks. Who looks on as digital time-keeping takes the world by storm and says "Yo mama." And gets away with it. Because he's Big Ben.

I'm Big Ben, yo. Recognize.
11. Shakespeare. A rose by any other name would still write some pretty amazing plays. I'd rhapsodize over him a bit, but the show must go on. Besides, if I were to misquote him, I fear he'd demand his pound of flesh.

That's right. I wrote a ton of plays that are still being performed centuries later AND I rocked a lace collar. Because I am one BAAAAAD dude.

10. High Tea. This is a regularly scheduled break in the middle of the afternoon wherein one consumes various items which are terrible for your hips, but do wonders for your mood. What's not to love?

Come on. Just a taste. You know you want to.
9. Scones. A regular feature at the high tea table, and one I enjoy like nothing else. I enjoy a well-made scone so much, I'm overlooking the unfortunate existence of kippers at the English breakfast table.


Yes. I am delicious. And I am not a kipper, which makes me extra delicious.
8. Monty Python. There's nothing on Earth like British humor. I have no idea if the Brits consider MP to be an exemplary example of fine British humor, but I enjoy them very much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go shout Niii and scare random passers-by because, as I'm sure you've noticed, I'm not dead yet.


Invisible horses! It's all the rage.

7. Castles. Why live in a home when you can have a castle? Okay, fine. I know most Brits don't live in them, but the castles are gorgeous, and I love them with the same kind of fierce passion I reserve for pirates and peach tea.


Look at me, all you lesser, boring, un-turreted homes. The envy, it BURNS.
6. Bond. James Bond. Thank you, England. I'll take him shaken, not stirred.


I don't need a bloody caption. I'm Bond. James Bond.

5. Victorian Gowns. You have to love fashion that rearranges your ribs to give you a tiny waist while simultaneously poofing out your butt as if you'd somehow trapped a small whale beneath your skirts. I frankly adore ballgowns and corsets and a nice top hat on a man. Well done, Victoria. Well done.


We may have sat on some whales, but our dresses are still prettier than anything in your closet.
4. Sherlock Holmes. I've always enjoyed this flawed, narcissistic genius, but when it came to the big screen courtesy of Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law, I moved from enjoyment to flat out fangirl.


Yes. I am brilliant. Shall we bask in that realization for a moment?

3. Tower of London. You have to love a country who locks criminals in a tower. Even though I adore towers (see Castle love above), I will probably mind my Ps and Qs while I'm in London. I don't actually think they lock mouthy Americans in the tower, but I don't feel like tempting them to break that tradition.


NOT C.J.'s future home.
2. Harry Potter. If none of the above existed, I would still love the UK for this series alone. Because I cannot write a paragraph documenting my deep love for the HP books without it turning into an essay, I will simply readjust the Sorting Hat that I'm currently wearing, dust off my potion bottles (Mandrake, Felix Felicitas, & Polyjuice), and move on.


Bring it, Voldemort.

1. Atom Books. And the #1 reason why I love the UK is this: Atom Books, an imprint of Little Brown, Uk, bought the DEFIANCE trilogy!!! I am thrilled to be working with the talent team at Atom, and can't wait to hold my UK version in my hands!


We rock your socks off.

Slackerpants Begone!

1. I was a complete slackerpants on this blog last week.

2. Mostly because I was finishing my last round of line edits on DEFIANCE and suffering from post-writing-retreat-brain-deadness. Yes, that is totally a thing. Look it up.

3. I vow not to be such a lame blogger this week. As proof, I offer you the above picture.

4. You're welcome.

5. I am sort of the master of finding strange and amusing things online. It's a talent. I often share those things with Jodi Meadows.

6. She is grateful.

7. I don't care what she tells you, SHE IS GRATEFUL.

8. Here's something I shared with her yesterday. I think maybe I will need to write an emasculator into one of my books:




9. You're welcome again.

10. Baby J has been up to a few antics recently.

11. The other day, she got into the pantry, grabbed a new bottle of vanilla extract, and dumped it all over the floor.

12. Thankfully, we have hardwood floors. But still, the SMELL.

13. A little later, she tried to put a pair of boots on (My daughter loves shoes ... I wonder where she gets that?), but they were too small. Clint explained to her that the shoes were too small and that we had to go to the store to get a new pair.

14. Baby J then walked over to the table, grabbed Clint's wallet, handed it to him and said "Bye bye."

15. =D

16. You'll notice that I described both of the above actions as "antics."

17. My definition of "antics" used to be much, much broader.

18. When the boys were little, my definition of "antics" included using the product of bodily functions for unauthorized art projects, running naked through the neighborhood, pouring honey onto my carpet, and lighting things on fire.

19. Girls are SO different from boys.

20. Later this week, I will bring you PONIES. Magical PONIES. Magical PONIES I created to represent the main characters in DEFIANCE.

21. You know you want that.

A Llama/Squirrel Alliance?

Today's blog is brought to you by Shawna Thomas. Her book, ALTERED DESTINY, was just released from Carina Press.





Writing a blog hurts my brain. No, it really does. I'm not one of those naturally outgoing,effervescent people who can talk to anyone about anything. Writing a blog post, especially a guest blog post, is like hosting a party. Now I love to bake, organize and decorate. I'll even serve with a happy heart, but getting the conversations going?


So not me.

So guest blogging on CJ's blog is like hosting a party for Ivana Trump's friends. You know, they're kinda used to the best. So, just now, I sat down to write this post and I told myself. Okay, Shawna. Be clever. Be witty. Be charming.

And my brain started to hurt.

My life is kinda boring: Work, kids, write, husband, kids, clean, cook, repeat. Sometimes I even sleep.

So what do I write about? Hum dee dee...There was this squirrel war I witnessed while walking home from school the other day.





That was interesting.

Those squirrels were going at it. Sounded like a legion of squirrels: branches swaying, leaves drifting to the ground, and screeches of enraged squirrels. I walked quickly through the war zone, dodging stray bits of debris and hoping the loser didn't get thrown from the tree and wind up on my head




(Would you like a defeated squirrel to fall on you? Didn't think so.)

That reminds me of the stare down I got from a squirrel at the zoo a few months back. A squirrel sat in the middle of a section of heavily treed path, just daring me to try and pass. This squirrel was not budging. In fact, every time I thought about stepping forward, it moved closer, staring at me with these mean, beady eyes. You may think it cowardly, but those suckers are fast, I chose another route. That squirrel meant business.


This talk of squirrels reminds me of CJ and her llamas--don't ask me why, my brain is not linear on its best day.

What if the squirrels joined the llamas? The llamas would have an aerial advantage. It wouldn't be pretty, folks.



Not pretty at all.

So before CJ's llamas get irritated at my suggestion they need allies, or decide it's a good idea, let tell you why I'm here. Carina Press just released my new book, ALTERED DESTINY--in which there are no llamas, or squirrels for that matter. There is Jaden--a drop-dead gorgeous Svistra, and Selia--one of my favorite heroines ever, who fall in love despite forces attempting to tear them apart. ALTERED DESTINY is a fantasy novel that tends to lean toward YA and will make lovers of romance happy.


I promise.

Here's a look at ALTERED DESTINY:

Selia has run her family's tavern since she was fifteen and can hunt and fight the equal of any man. When she rescues a badly wounded man and nurses him back to health, she has no idea she's about to change not only her life, but also the destinies of two peoples...

The battered warrior is Svistra—a race of bloodthirsty savages determined to destroy her homeland. Or so the stories claim. Jaden reveals a different truth: how his ancestors were driven into the barren northern mountains. Now they are strong and war parties are pushing south wanting their land back.

The son of a Svistra Commander, Jaden is looking for a way to bring peace to both humans and Svistrans. He tries to ignore his growing passion for Selia, but when she is captured he has to decide what he would be willing to sacrifice to save the woman he loves.

Thank you, Shawna! *shudders at the thought of a squirrel/llama alliance* To learn more about Shawna, visit her website or her blog. To learn more about ALTERED DESTINY, go here or here.

Happy reading!

Taking Risks

I've been thinking a lot lately about risks. Being an artist comes with risk, whether you're a writer or your art takes a different form. You risk rejection. You risk displeasure. You risk success. You risk missing the heart of your vision. You risk hitting the heart of your vision, and then having to send it out to others who don't look at things through your eyes.

Risk is a terrifying thing.

It's also the heartblood of great art.

Is it risky to sit down and put words to a page? Put brush to canvas? Put yourself into the next role you play on stage? Yes. But riskier still, and far more rewarding, is pushing yourself beyond the conventions of your art. Leaving behind the steady lines you've been coloring inside because that's what others are doing, so that must be your path too. Looking that huge, awesome, completely terrifying idea straight in the face and saying "Bring it."

Those are the risks that blaze paths.

Those are the moments that lead to greatness.

To get to those moments, you may need to color in the lines for a little while. Just until the lines start to feel constricting. Until you are not just curious to see what it looks like to break the rules, but you feel a burning need to smash them to pieces and rebuild them your way.

To get to those moments, you need to be honest. You can't take another's lens and put it over your vision. You have to take all the little pieces that make up the sum total of your life experience and be heartbreakingly, jaw-droppingly, stun-others-into-silence honest. Because the moment truth leaks into your art, greatness follows.

So, when you're flirting with your next project, and you have the safe, tame, I've-done-this-so-I-know-I-can-repeat-it idea side by side with the holy-crap-this-might-kill-me-and-what-if-I-don't-have-the-chops-to-do-it-justice idea?

Choose truth.

Choose to draw your own lines, wear your own lens, and plumb your depths to see what you're truly capable of doing.

Choose risk.

An Illustration

This is my brain.





This is my brain on cookies.







Any questions? 

Writing Projects Galore!

It's been a long time since I posted any sort of writing project update. Mostly because I've been super busy writing. =D But there's a lot going on, so here's the scoop:

1. DEFIANCE: I've finished 3 rounds of edits and would happily make out with the manuscript in public given half the chance. I'm very proud of it. It is truly the best I'm capable of doing. I have copy edits next, and then page proofs, and then *cue stomach flip* ARCs go out to reviewers. Oh, and I'll be getting my cover fairly soon, though I don't know how soon they'll let me share it.

2. Synopsis Workshop Handouts: I've revamped my synopsis workshop handouts so that they will effectively answer all pressing questions and break down the entire process into small, manageable steps. It's like having a pro guide you carefully through the process, helping you keep your sanity and turn out an amazing synopsis at the same time. The handout packet is now for sale on my workshop website and arrives as a Word.doc attachment. The workshop itself was $70 (back when I still had time to offer it), and I'm selling the comprehensive handouts for $25.

3. Query Writing Handbook: I've finished the first draft of my upcoming Query Writing Handbook, and I'm excited to be able to offer it for purchase soon! It's as thorough as I could possibly get without sitting right beside you myself every step of the way. Covering everything from what a query is, how to find a good agent, how to write a hook, what to ask an agent who is offering representation and much, MUCH more, this truly is everything I know about query writing all in one tidy little package. Release date will be announced soon!

4. Novella: I'm currently writing the story of two of DEFIANCE's secondary characters. I have plans to make the novella available between books 1 and 2 of the trilogy. More info on this will be forthcoming once I have it. But I think maybe I broke some kind of novella record by killing ten people in the first chapter. Is there a prize for that? Medication? Wonderful. I'll take it.

5. Book Two: I actually have a working title for this, but until I have the go-ahead from my editor, I'll be calling this book IN WHICH EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. It's kind of catchy. This book is mostly plotted out (and I'll solidify that this weekend at my writer's retreat), and I'll be starting it as soon as I finish the novella.

6. Research: As other writers know, even though you're working on one project, several others are always clamoring for attention in your brain. Right now, I have two other YA series vying for my attention, so I'm doing the research and creating files that I can open when I'm ready to dive into the actual writing. Between these two projects and the DEFIANCE trilogy, I've researched all of the following: robotics, corsets, Manga, knives, homemade batteries, cons, Chinese flowers, Los Angeles, water myths, Jack the Ripper, and tree houses. My brain is a strange and wonderful place sometimes. :)

7. Casting Stones: After I finish writing Book 2, I'll be turning my attention to the Casting Stone series, which is the adult series I'll be publishing in 2013. The best description for this series is Supernatural meets I Love Lucy. Book 1 is finished and will be edited, and then I'll write Book 2. I have plans to publish both in spring and summer of 2013.

Well. I don't know about you, but I think that's PLENTY to have on my plate at the moment. :) Look for a release date for both DEFIANCE and the Query Writing Handbook soon!

PWNED!

Ninja kitten is coming at you like a G6!


1. I laughed so hard at the above pic, I nearly compromised my ability to fully control my bladder.

2. Sometimes, I think I'm the weirdest person I know.

3. But someone else always comes along and disabuses me of that notion.

4. Not YOU, of course. Never you.

5. But probably the person sitting on your right.

6. At this point, I should probably make a graceful transition like "Speaking of sitting on your right" to segue into my next bit, but ... that isn't going to happen.

7. In my ongoing quest to become the Girl Who Has Snorted The Worst Collection Of Unlikely Items (Heck, YES, there's an award for that. Isn't there? NO?? Well, someone better get right ON that situation because I am earning this.), I've abused my sinuses with chunks of bread pudding (note: raisins burn), chicken nugget (just say no to clucky), diet Coke (the new sinus douche), and most recently cinnamon gum (feeeeeel the burn) and water from an over-achiever of a dental hygienist's hose.

8. All rather stellar evidence that I deserve the (as yet invented) award, yes? So, what could possibly be incredibly awkward enough to take a spot among these hallowed few?

9. A tortilla chip.

10. In mid-flight.

11. Now, lest you think I have a honker the size of a small country (thereby accommodating an entire chip), I must clarify: it was just the tip of the chip.

12. How did a chip tip fly into my nose?

13. I really have no explanation. I wish I did. I think when I was born and the fairies were handing out gifts, Malificent was absent and Murphy's Law stood in her place.

14. The situation is simple. I was eating chips and salsa. I took a bite of tortilla chip. And somehow the velocity and trajectory of my bite combined with the momentum of ... something ... caused the non-bitten portion of the chip to FLY OUT OF MY HAND AND STRAIGHT UP MY NOSE.

15. You will immediately note that this defies the laws of gravity.

16. And probably violates any number of other interesting laws of physics.

17. It's like my nostrils decided, "Hey! We haven't had any real action since the chewing gum incident in February. Let's form a committee and rectify the situation."

18. And then my nostrils became a tractor beam for shards of tortilla chips.

19. I cannot be the only person to whom that has happened.

20. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I am the weirdest person you know.

21. Because you have the good sense to swallow your food and have it go DOWN instead of UP.

22. Well, good for you, you boring conformist. But when they start handing out awards for the Girl Who Has Snorted The Worst Collection of Unlikely Items, where will you be??

23. Award-less, that's where.

24. And lest it be said that I am not an equal opportunity body-part-meet-unlikely-food-item offender, I was drinking tea the other night, and the tea bag was still in the mug.

25. Because while I can plot a trilogy with intricate sub plots and nuanced character arcs, I apparently cannot remember to take the tea bag out of the mug when it's finished steeping. Instead, I just sort of pin it to the side of the mug and drink around it.

26. Except for the time last week when I forgot to pin it to the side of the mug.

27. I tipped the mug up, took a swallow of hot tea, and got a smooshy hot tea bag straight to the eye.

28. Which leads me right to the last item on my list.

29. EYES.

30. I believe my readers are well aware of the good-natured animosity that exists between my eye Dr and me.

31. Mostly because eye stuff is SO GROSS and he thinks it's funny to show me pictures of eye fungus and roll my eyelid up with a stick.

32. I had an exam this last week. And he didn't show me nasty pictures. Mostly because I closed my eyes and told him his indecent enthusiasm for the various stages of WHATEVER he wanted to show me was wrong on every level.

33. He also didn't try to roll my eyelid up with a stick, though he did tell me he'd had an old lady in that day with grass in her eye and he'd been unable to roll her eye up with a stick because her eyelid skin was so thin and crinkly he couldn't get a grip.

34. I gag at the thought of other people rubbing their own eyes too long.

35. I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW about old lady eyelids.

36. I informed my Dr of this fact. He thought I was funny.

37. But he got the last laugh. Oh, yes.

38. At the end of the appointment, he acknowledged that my prescription had changed and went to find a new pair of contacts for me to try.

39. When he returned, I put them in and the entire world just ... disappeared.

40. Gone.

41. Poof.

42. Nothing but a faint swirl of shapeless colors.

43. I said, "Lucy, you've got some splainin to do."

44. He told me it would take a minute for my eyes to relax and adjust to the new prescription.

45. I told him I couldn't see a single thing. Not. One. Thing.

46. He asked if maybe I'd put the contacts in inside out.

47. I hadn't. And at this point, I was beginning to feel seriously nauseous.

48. I informed him of this. Along with the salient fact that as there was no way I could SEE the trashcan, I was just going to vomit at will if he didn't fix the situation.

49. He laughed.

50. And I said, "I may be blind, but I can still track you by the sound of your voice and kill you dead."

51. Then he looked at the box of contacts, was silent for a long time, and then said "Um. Take them out. This is the wrong prescription."

52. No, really?

53. I took them out. He gave me the right prescription. And then showed me that my prescription is a +4.35 and he'd accidentally given me a pair of -4.35.

54. Who needs his eye rolled up with a stick NOW??

55. I am never going to let him live this down.