C.J. Redwine's Blog, page 14
February 28, 2012
Trailer for THE LIMIT
This book came out in 2010, but I haven't read it yet. The premise is interesting--feels very Hollywood to me. Have you read this book? Does this interest you?
February 23, 2012
DEFIANCE Cover Reveal & Giveaway!
The day has finally come for me to reveal the HOLY COW AMAZING cover the talented team at Balzer+Bray designed for DEFIANCE. I am beyond excited!!! The cover reveal is happening on the lovely YABooksCentral site. The chance to enter to win a DEFIANCE prize package is happening here.
First, the cover. Go ahead. Click! Drool! Admire! I'll wait for you.
Isn't it gorgeous? And fierce? And just ... *happy sigh*
Right. Prize package. Ready for this? I'm giving away a signed hardback of DEFIANCE (when they become available) along with a one-of-a-kind DEFIANCE journal and tote bag!
(They are pretty! *pets journal and tote bag*)
Entering is easy. Just fill out the form below. Send a few more people to look at the cover if you want extra entries! I'll use random.org to choose a winner. The contest runs until 8 p.m. central time Thursday, March 1st and is open internationally!
Good luck!
(P.S. Come back here next Wednesday for an interview with my amazing editor who is giving away the very first ARC of DEFIANCE!)
First, the cover. Go ahead. Click! Drool! Admire! I'll wait for you.
Isn't it gorgeous? And fierce? And just ... *happy sigh*
Right. Prize package. Ready for this? I'm giving away a signed hardback of DEFIANCE (when they become available) along with a one-of-a-kind DEFIANCE journal and tote bag!
(They are pretty! *pets journal and tote bag*)
Entering is easy. Just fill out the form below. Send a few more people to look at the cover if you want extra entries! I'll use random.org to choose a winner. The contest runs until 8 p.m. central time Thursday, March 1st and is open internationally!
Good luck!
(P.S. Come back here next Wednesday for an interview with my amazing editor who is giving away the very first ARC of DEFIANCE!)
February 22, 2012
Author Mad Libs: Rachel Hawkins
Today's Author Mad Libs guest is Rachel Hawkins, author of the best-selling Hex Hall series. The final book in the series, SPELL BOUND, will be in a bookstore near you on March 13, 2012. I sent Rachel a parts of speech list. She sent back words. This is the result.
Hailed as "impossible to _defenestrate_," the Hex Hall series has both critics and _Pudding Pops_ cheering. With a winning combination of romance, _grapefruit_, magic and humor, this third _dime_ will leave readers _spankable_.
Just as Sophie Mercer has come to accept her extraordinary_funky_powers as a _cupcake_, the Prodigium Council strips them away. Now Sophie is defenseless, alone, and at the mercy of her sworn _gnomes_—the Brannicks, a family of warrior _gnomes (again!)_ who hunt down the Prodigium. Or at least that's what Sophie thinks, until she makes a _scintillating_ discovery. The Brannicks know an epic _butt_ is coming, and they believe Sophie is the only one _calm_ enough to stop the world from ending. But without her magic, Sophie isn't as _freaking_.
Sophie's bound for one hell of a _mountain lion_—can she get her powers back before it's too late?
About Rachel:
Rachel Hawkins is a 20-something former _David Hasselhoff_ who left teaching to take a chance and get serious about finishing that _Snuggie_ she'd always wanted to _freak_ Her first book, Hex Hall, was the result of that leap of faith. She's a _TARDIS_ of Auburn University in Alabama and lives with her husband and six-year-old _pineapple_.
She's also hopelessly addicted to watching Downton _Chicken_ and Dr. _She_, and I have it on good authority that she regularly _gyrates_ about popular _tacos_.
Thank you, Rachel, for that highly entertaining post! To learn more about Rachel (And really ... after this? Who could resist?) visit her blog. To purchase SPELL BOUND, or any of the Hex Hall books, head to Indie Bound, Barnes and Noble, or Amazon.
Hailed as "impossible to _defenestrate_," the Hex Hall series has both critics and _Pudding Pops_ cheering. With a winning combination of romance, _grapefruit_, magic and humor, this third _dime_ will leave readers _spankable_.
Just as Sophie Mercer has come to accept her extraordinary_funky_powers as a _cupcake_, the Prodigium Council strips them away. Now Sophie is defenseless, alone, and at the mercy of her sworn _gnomes_—the Brannicks, a family of warrior _gnomes (again!)_ who hunt down the Prodigium. Or at least that's what Sophie thinks, until she makes a _scintillating_ discovery. The Brannicks know an epic _butt_ is coming, and they believe Sophie is the only one _calm_ enough to stop the world from ending. But without her magic, Sophie isn't as _freaking_.
Sophie's bound for one hell of a _mountain lion_—can she get her powers back before it's too late?
About Rachel:
Rachel Hawkins is a 20-something former _David Hasselhoff_ who left teaching to take a chance and get serious about finishing that _Snuggie_ she'd always wanted to _freak_ Her first book, Hex Hall, was the result of that leap of faith. She's a _TARDIS_ of Auburn University in Alabama and lives with her husband and six-year-old _pineapple_.
She's also hopelessly addicted to watching Downton _Chicken_ and Dr. _She_, and I have it on good authority that she regularly _gyrates_ about popular _tacos_.
Thank you, Rachel, for that highly entertaining post! To learn more about Rachel (And really ... after this? Who could resist?) visit her blog. To purchase SPELL BOUND, or any of the Hex Hall books, head to Indie Bound, Barnes and Noble, or Amazon.
February 21, 2012
Trailer for THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED ADVENTURE
Oh, yes please! I've been waiting for this movie since I saw the last Lord of the Rings movie. I'm pleased that Peter Jackson is once again at the helm. What do you think?
February 16, 2012
Author Mad Libs: Emily Danforth
When Cameron Post's parents _whisk_ suddenly in a car crash, her _obscure_ first thought is relief. Relief they'll never know that, hours earlier, she had been kissing an _ennui_.
But that relief doesn't last, and Cam is soon forced to move in with her _high-falutin_ aunt Ruth and her well-intentioned but hopelessly _newfangled_ grandmother. She knows that from this _Bundt cake_ on, her _pomegranate_ will forever be different. Survival in Miles City, Montana, means _cartwheeling_ in and leaving well enough alone (as her _rucksack_ might say), and Cam becomes a _lotto ticket_ at both.
Then Coley Taylor _grasps_ to town. _Florid_, pickup-driving Coley is a perfect _pantaloon_ with the perfect _soda pop_ to match. She and Cam _slurp_ an unexpected and intense friendship—one that seems to leave _rattlesnake_ for something more to _maraud_. But just as that starts to seem like a real possibility, _robust_ Aunt Ruth takes drastic action to "fix" her niece, bringing Cam face-to-face with the _marmalade_ of denying her true self—even if she's not exactly sure who that is.
The Miseducation of Cameron Post is a _ham-handed_and unforgettable literary _socket_ about discovering who you are and finding the courage to live life according to your own _shenanigans_.
Thank you, Emily, for being a good sport! (Also, this is another cover I adore!) To learn more about Emily, visit her site. To purchase THE MISEDUCATION OF CAMERON POST, go to Indie Bound, Barnes and Noble, or Amazon.
February 15, 2012
Author Mad Libs: Jessica Spotswood
Today's Author Mad Libs guest is Jessica Spotswood, author of the highly anticipated BORN WICKED which came out last week. I sent Jessica a parts of speech list. She sent back words. This is the result.
Everybody knows Cate Cahill and her sisters are _scandalous_. Too pretty, too reclusive, and far too _dreadful_ for their own good. But the truth is even _creepier_: they're witches. And if their _hedgehog_ is discovered by the _Tater Tots_ of the Brotherhood, it would mean an asylum, a prison ship—or an early _monkey_.
Before her mother died, Cate promised to_snuggle_ her sisters. But with only six months left to choose between _a mermaid_ and the Sisterhood, she might not be able to _critique_ her _cupcake_...especially after she finds her mother's _shark_, uncovering a secret that could spell her family's _champagne_. Desperate to find alternatives to their fate, Cate starts _typing_ banned books and questioning rebellious new _sandwiches_, all while _singing_ tea parties, shocking marriage proposals, and a _murderous_ romance with the completely _sparkly_ Finn Belastra.
If what her mother wrote is true, the Cahill girls aren't _breathless_. Not from the Brotherhood, the Sisterhood—not even from each other.
Thank you, Jessica, for playing along. What a gorgeous cover! To learn more about Jessica, visit her website. To purchase the book, visit Indie Bound, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon.
Everybody knows Cate Cahill and her sisters are _scandalous_. Too pretty, too reclusive, and far too _dreadful_ for their own good. But the truth is even _creepier_: they're witches. And if their _hedgehog_ is discovered by the _Tater Tots_ of the Brotherhood, it would mean an asylum, a prison ship—or an early _monkey_.
Before her mother died, Cate promised to_snuggle_ her sisters. But with only six months left to choose between _a mermaid_ and the Sisterhood, she might not be able to _critique_ her _cupcake_...especially after she finds her mother's _shark_, uncovering a secret that could spell her family's _champagne_. Desperate to find alternatives to their fate, Cate starts _typing_ banned books and questioning rebellious new _sandwiches_, all while _singing_ tea parties, shocking marriage proposals, and a _murderous_ romance with the completely _sparkly_ Finn Belastra.
If what her mother wrote is true, the Cahill girls aren't _breathless_. Not from the Brotherhood, the Sisterhood—not even from each other.
Thank you, Jessica, for playing along. What a gorgeous cover! To learn more about Jessica, visit her website. To purchase the book, visit Indie Bound, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon.
February 14, 2012
Trailer for BAD GIRLS DON'T DIE
I'd never heard of this book (the first in a series), but this trailer certainly makes me want to read it. What do you think?
February 13, 2012
Cue the Geriatric Bull Moose!
1. Last week was a busy week.
2. There was the release of my QUERY book on Amazon and Nook, which was exciting.
3. There were the final preparations for my upcoming cover reveal on the 23rd, which were also exciting. (Because HOLY COW do I love my cover!!)
4. And there was a bout of stomach flu that each of my boys caught which was not exciting in the least.
5. Unless, of course, you think being awakened at 3 in the morning by a child telling you he's just puked all over his carpeted floor is exciting.
6. Usually, I can roll with stuff like this without much of a problem.
7. Unlike my hubby who gets one whiff and joins the hork fest.
8. But this time ... THIS TIME, dear reader, I could barely hang on to my cookies.
9. I don't know why.
10. I just know that I gagged and choked and nearly lost it several times.
11. I tell you all of this so you will understand the following story.
12. If you are super, super squeamish, you may want to consider skimming past the next few points.
13. Actually, if you are super, super squeamish, you might want to consider not reading most of my blog posts because I do some really stupid squeamish-y stuff all the time.
14. Anyway, after spending the week taking care of sick kiddos (and thankfully never getting the virus myself), my fibromyalgia sat up and said YOU ARE GOING DOWN, SISTER.
15. And I got body aches and sore throat and all the lovely things that go along with my body calling it quits for a few days.
16. Only I couldn't call it quits.
17. Because I was scheduled to give my query workshop to the Heart of Dixie RWA chapter in Alabama on Saturday.
18. So, my hubby bought me some Thera-flu, and I prepared to suck it up and perform.
19. I boiled some water, mixed in the daytime Thera-flu, poured it into my thermos, and headed out the door.
20. The problem hit when I was exiting my neighborhood and driving into my city.
21. I slid the tab open on the lid of my thermos, lifted it to to my face, inhaled the fragrant steam that was wafting out of the opening ...
22. And gagged like my lower intestines wanted to say hello to my nasal cavities.
23. Why?
24. Because something about the medicinal/berry smell of the Thera-flu combined with the metal rim of my thermos smelled EXACTLY like the puke I'd cleaned up a few nights earlier.
25. Oh, reader.
26. I cannot even begin to tell you ...
27. I mean, I knew it wasn't vomit. I knew it.
28. But it didn't matter. My brain had associated the two smells and the two had become one.
29. Unfortunately, I was still feeling sick. And was still on my way to another state where I needed to be on all day.
30. Which left me with but one choice.
31. Plug my nose and drink.
32. This was easier said that done. The fact that I couldn't physically smell it anymore made no difference to my brain.
33. Scent memory hit me every time I lifted the thermos to my lips. It took an act of extreme willpower to force myself to take a sip.
34. Even more willpower to swallow before my gag reflex kicked in.
35. But I did it. Because the only thing worse than swallowing it would be to gag and have vomit-scented Thera-flu shoot out my nose.
36. I'd be smelling it all day.
37. And I don't think the HoD folks would've appreciated a workshop given by a woman who paused to gag vociferously every few seconds throughout her presentation.
38. As a side note, my gag reflex sounds an awful lot like the desperate mating call of a geriatric bull moose.
39. Sexy, I know.
40. And to attempt to tie this entire post into a nice tidy little bow, I'll bring us full circle and refer back up to the pic at the top.
41. This is entirely true for me.
42. In honor of Valentine's Day (which is a holiday I honestly could care less about, but whatever), I give you a brief insight into what happens when I try to be sexy or sophisticated.
43. Oh, yes. That is soooo me.
February 10, 2012
QUERY-palooza: Day Five
I used random.org to choose the winner of today's query critique. Here it is:
Dear Agent,
I read on your blog that you're actively looking for historical fiction and books with a sweeping, saga-length scope, and I hope you will consider YOU CANNOT KILL A SWAN, a historical saga set during the Russian Civil War and early 1920s Manhattan. Good start!
Seventeen-year-old Lyuba Zhukova is left behind in Russia when her mother and aunt immigrate to America, forcing her to go into hiding from the Bolsheviks and sometimes flee at a moment's notice. By the time the Civil War has turned in favor of the Reds, Lyuba has also become an unwed mother. But she still has her best friend and soulmate Ivan Konev, a cousin, and a band of friends, and together they're determined to survive the Bolsheviks and escape to America. Why was she left behind to fend for herself? When you say her cousin is her soul mate, do you mean they are romantically involved? That's the impression I get. Does that mean Ivan is her baby's father? The only thing missing in this paragraph (besides considering my previous questions) is Lyuba's personality and emotions. The story set up is excellent, but who is Lyuba and why should I care if she escapes? How does she feel about being left behind? What is her agenda beyond survival (if anything.)? What is she willing to do to survive/get what she wants? If you give me a little bit of her emotional state of mind and what makes her tick, a reader can relate to her and start championing her story.
As Lyuba runs for her life from during (Need to delete from or during) the terror and uncertainty of the Civil War, she's committed to protecting her daughter and staying together with Ivan, who's raised her child as his own since the night she was born. The race to get out of Russia, into Estonia, and over to America intensifies after Ivan commits a murder to protect her and becomes a wanted criminal. Ok, you answered my questions about Ivan. Is he her first cousin? Forgive my ignorance here, but was it common in Russia during this time period to be swoony with one's cousin? If so, rock on. If not, consider second cousin and state that here to overcome any immediate "eek!" response from readers.
Once in America, Lyuba discovers the streets aren't lined with gold and that she's just another Lower East Side tenement-dweller. Ivan brings in dirt wages from an iron factory, forcing them to largely live off the savings they brought from Russia and to indefinitely defer their dream of having their own farm in the Midwest. And though the Red Terror is just a nightmarish memory, Lyuba is still scarred in ways that have long prevented her and Ivan from becoming husband and wife and living happily ever after. Can she ever heal from her traumatic past and have the life she always dreamt of with the man she loves before Ivan gets tired of waiting? Wait a minute. She is traumatized and scarred in a way that keeps them from being man and wife? That goes beyond the being abandoned by mom and aunt that you've told us about. This is good stuff and will help your reader identify with Lyuba. This goes in your first paragraph about her. How did she become an unwed mother? What did that do to her?
I have a BA in history and Russian and Eastern European Studies from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, with a focus on 20th century Russian history.
I would be happy to provide a synopsis, a partial, or the complete manuscript. (You don't need to say this as it's a given.) Attached please find the first chapter. You may reach me at [phone number] or CarrieAnne79@yahoo.com. You need to give the word count. Most writers give the word count with the title. If you're uncertain whether your word count falls in acceptable parameters for your genre, Google it and proceed accordingly. Too long or too short can hamper your ability to get requests.
Great job! Just a little work uncovering the heart of Lyuba and you'll have a stellar query to send. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Carrie-Anne Brownian
Want your own personal query guru to help you craft an amazing query letter? QUERY: Everything you need to get started, get noticed, and get signed is available now! Full of research, innovative tools, and strategies every writer can use to query well, QUERY is available for the introductory price of $2.99 on Kindle and Nook.
Dear Agent,
I read on your blog that you're actively looking for historical fiction and books with a sweeping, saga-length scope, and I hope you will consider YOU CANNOT KILL A SWAN, a historical saga set during the Russian Civil War and early 1920s Manhattan. Good start!
Seventeen-year-old Lyuba Zhukova is left behind in Russia when her mother and aunt immigrate to America, forcing her to go into hiding from the Bolsheviks and sometimes flee at a moment's notice. By the time the Civil War has turned in favor of the Reds, Lyuba has also become an unwed mother. But she still has her best friend and soulmate Ivan Konev, a cousin, and a band of friends, and together they're determined to survive the Bolsheviks and escape to America. Why was she left behind to fend for herself? When you say her cousin is her soul mate, do you mean they are romantically involved? That's the impression I get. Does that mean Ivan is her baby's father? The only thing missing in this paragraph (besides considering my previous questions) is Lyuba's personality and emotions. The story set up is excellent, but who is Lyuba and why should I care if she escapes? How does she feel about being left behind? What is her agenda beyond survival (if anything.)? What is she willing to do to survive/get what she wants? If you give me a little bit of her emotional state of mind and what makes her tick, a reader can relate to her and start championing her story.
As Lyuba runs for her life from during (Need to delete from or during) the terror and uncertainty of the Civil War, she's committed to protecting her daughter and staying together with Ivan, who's raised her child as his own since the night she was born. The race to get out of Russia, into Estonia, and over to America intensifies after Ivan commits a murder to protect her and becomes a wanted criminal. Ok, you answered my questions about Ivan. Is he her first cousin? Forgive my ignorance here, but was it common in Russia during this time period to be swoony with one's cousin? If so, rock on. If not, consider second cousin and state that here to overcome any immediate "eek!" response from readers.
Once in America, Lyuba discovers the streets aren't lined with gold and that she's just another Lower East Side tenement-dweller. Ivan brings in dirt wages from an iron factory, forcing them to largely live off the savings they brought from Russia and to indefinitely defer their dream of having their own farm in the Midwest. And though the Red Terror is just a nightmarish memory, Lyuba is still scarred in ways that have long prevented her and Ivan from becoming husband and wife and living happily ever after. Can she ever heal from her traumatic past and have the life she always dreamt of with the man she loves before Ivan gets tired of waiting? Wait a minute. She is traumatized and scarred in a way that keeps them from being man and wife? That goes beyond the being abandoned by mom and aunt that you've told us about. This is good stuff and will help your reader identify with Lyuba. This goes in your first paragraph about her. How did she become an unwed mother? What did that do to her?
I have a BA in history and Russian and Eastern European Studies from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, with a focus on 20th century Russian history.
I would be happy to provide a synopsis, a partial, or the complete manuscript. (You don't need to say this as it's a given.) Attached please find the first chapter. You may reach me at [phone number] or CarrieAnne79@yahoo.com. You need to give the word count. Most writers give the word count with the title. If you're uncertain whether your word count falls in acceptable parameters for your genre, Google it and proceed accordingly. Too long or too short can hamper your ability to get requests.
Great job! Just a little work uncovering the heart of Lyuba and you'll have a stellar query to send. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Carrie-Anne Brownian
Want your own personal query guru to help you craft an amazing query letter? QUERY: Everything you need to get started, get noticed, and get signed is available now! Full of research, innovative tools, and strategies every writer can use to query well, QUERY is available for the introductory price of $2.99 on Kindle and Nook.
February 9, 2012
QUERY-palooza: Day Four
As always, I used random.org to choose the winner of today's query critique. Here's our winner!
A lightning rod for tragedy, Nox Sumner (has) lost every member of her family. She is haunted by the fear of who will be next. (If she lost every member of her family, it sounds like she doesn't have anyone left to lose so who is she really worried about? Maybe be a tad more specific.) When the Grim Reaper turns up on her doorstep, answering her question with the name of her BFF, only her ghostastic older bro standing in the way stops her from kicking his hooded ass to the curb. 1. How does she recognize him? 2. Why isn't she afraid? 3. What question does she ask? 4. I like her style. :)
Grim's in a bind. His boatman, River Crowe, is hiding out at Nox's high school. Loving life, he flipped (flips – Queries are written in present tense.) Grim the bird and refused (refuses) to return to his dismal existence as (an) exalted taxi service for the dead. Since River isn't on his list (what list?), Grim needs Nox to kill River and send him home. And if she'll do it, he'll (Grimm. Otherwise "he" refers back to River in the previous sentence.) spare her best friend. Make it clear in the first paragraph that her best friend is all she has left. That's how you tweak that second sentence. Also, it occurs to me to ask who Nox lives with now that her family is dead. You can answer that in the first paragraph by identifying the doorstep Grim shows up on. "When the Grim Reaper turns up at her foster parents' doorstep" etc.
The thought of killing anyone—let alone River—makes her want to vomit. Six feet of tall, dark and oh-my-god, he is a whirlwind of hedonistic pleasure.(This could just be a matter of personal taste, so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm uncomfortable with the phrase "hedonistic pleasure" in a query for a YA. Makes me think of adult paranormal romance instead. Maybe find a more PG way to describe this? Up to you.) Nox thought the loss of her brother (In the first paragraph, it sounds like she suddenly lost ALL her family members at once. If her parents died earlier and her brother is the recent death, you might tweak the first sentence to reflect that.) had extinguished any happiness left inside her until River's love affair with mortality reignites something she thought lost forever.
But that doesn't change what she has to do. The ranks of the reaped grow as a rash of drownings illustrate the danger in leaving souls stranded on the banks of the Styx. (The phrase "a rash of drownings illustrate the danger in leaving souls stranded…" feels a bit unwieldy. I think it's the "illustrate the danger." It puts distance between us and the heinous stuff that is happening. Make it more immediate. i.e. "The ranks of the reaped are growing as the souls stranded on the banks of the Styx __insert appropriate gruesome action here___") Her quiet, corn-fed community is rapidly becoming a literal ghost town. With her closest friend's life hanging in the balance, her time is running out … and so is River's. Love these last two sentences. Nice job!
THE STYX is an 85,000 YA paranormal set in the real town of River Styx, Ohio and my debut novel. (You can cut the "and my debut novel.") If you would like to read more, I would be delighted to send you sample chapters or the completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sounds like a high stakes, interesting story! Best of luck to you with this.
Want your own personal query guru to help you craft an amazing query letter? QUERY: Everything you need to get started, get noticed, and get signed is available now! Full of research, innovative tools, and strategies every writer can use to query well, QUERY is available for the introductory price of $2.99 on Kindle and Nook.
A lightning rod for tragedy, Nox Sumner (has) lost every member of her family. She is haunted by the fear of who will be next. (If she lost every member of her family, it sounds like she doesn't have anyone left to lose so who is she really worried about? Maybe be a tad more specific.) When the Grim Reaper turns up on her doorstep, answering her question with the name of her BFF, only her ghostastic older bro standing in the way stops her from kicking his hooded ass to the curb. 1. How does she recognize him? 2. Why isn't she afraid? 3. What question does she ask? 4. I like her style. :)
Grim's in a bind. His boatman, River Crowe, is hiding out at Nox's high school. Loving life, he flipped (flips – Queries are written in present tense.) Grim the bird and refused (refuses) to return to his dismal existence as (an) exalted taxi service for the dead. Since River isn't on his list (what list?), Grim needs Nox to kill River and send him home. And if she'll do it, he'll (Grimm. Otherwise "he" refers back to River in the previous sentence.) spare her best friend. Make it clear in the first paragraph that her best friend is all she has left. That's how you tweak that second sentence. Also, it occurs to me to ask who Nox lives with now that her family is dead. You can answer that in the first paragraph by identifying the doorstep Grim shows up on. "When the Grim Reaper turns up at her foster parents' doorstep" etc.
The thought of killing anyone—let alone River—makes her want to vomit. Six feet of tall, dark and oh-my-god, he is a whirlwind of hedonistic pleasure.(This could just be a matter of personal taste, so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm uncomfortable with the phrase "hedonistic pleasure" in a query for a YA. Makes me think of adult paranormal romance instead. Maybe find a more PG way to describe this? Up to you.) Nox thought the loss of her brother (In the first paragraph, it sounds like she suddenly lost ALL her family members at once. If her parents died earlier and her brother is the recent death, you might tweak the first sentence to reflect that.) had extinguished any happiness left inside her until River's love affair with mortality reignites something she thought lost forever.
But that doesn't change what she has to do. The ranks of the reaped grow as a rash of drownings illustrate the danger in leaving souls stranded on the banks of the Styx. (The phrase "a rash of drownings illustrate the danger in leaving souls stranded…" feels a bit unwieldy. I think it's the "illustrate the danger." It puts distance between us and the heinous stuff that is happening. Make it more immediate. i.e. "The ranks of the reaped are growing as the souls stranded on the banks of the Styx __insert appropriate gruesome action here___") Her quiet, corn-fed community is rapidly becoming a literal ghost town. With her closest friend's life hanging in the balance, her time is running out … and so is River's. Love these last two sentences. Nice job!
THE STYX is an 85,000 YA paranormal set in the real town of River Styx, Ohio and my debut novel. (You can cut the "and my debut novel.") If you would like to read more, I would be delighted to send you sample chapters or the completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sounds like a high stakes, interesting story! Best of luck to you with this.
Want your own personal query guru to help you craft an amazing query letter? QUERY: Everything you need to get started, get noticed, and get signed is available now! Full of research, innovative tools, and strategies every writer can use to query well, QUERY is available for the introductory price of $2.99 on Kindle and Nook.
