Cate Ellink's Blog, page 22

Wildlife Wednesday - flathead

Is it big enough to keep?As well as the Giant Toadfish, Dad and I caught some more identifiable and useful fish in the river a couple of weeks ago.

Flathead are one of my favourite fish to catch because they give you a good fight when you're pulling them in.

Here are some of the flathead we caught. In NSW, flathead have size restrictions, so here's Dad with his trusty measuring stick checking the size of the fish I caught.

There are different types of flathead - we caught Dusky Flathead. Duskies have to be over 36 cm, and if it's over 70 cm, you may only keep one. Bag limit is 10 fish.

Hook removal and underbellyIf the flathead was a bluespotted or tiger, then they only need to be 33 cm long to be potable. Still a bag limit of 10.

If you're interested in NSW saltwater fish limits, the DPI has them here. To fish in NSW, you also require a fishing license, unless you're a child or a senior.

Dusky Flathead are found in estuaries and bays, and can be found over sand, weed, silt, mud, gravel. They often vary in colour depending on habitat. And they have wicked spines, so be careful handling them. It's not just the obvious spines down the midline of the front and back, but at the sides of their head, there's kind of a tip of bone, and there are wickedly sharp, pointy spines there too that hurt like blazes if they catch you.

Dad told me that if the spines get you, you should rub the underbelly across the wound to stop it hurting - not sure if that works because the fish that spiked him as he was releasing it, jumped out of the net a little too soon for first aid to occur.
Top view
Two before releaseI'm not a huge fan of eating flathead - mostly because of the bones. But flathead tails are exquisite and they don't have so many bones.

Do you have a favourite fish?

Football - State of Origin Game 1

State of Origin was on during the week, so I thought after my rants last year that I should say some good things for a change!

NSW picked a team that I was much happier with - less hothead and blowhards, more professional footy players - and a captain who lets his football speak for him. Boyd Cordner leads by example, and sets a good example.

I was hopeful that they might win, or at least have a great game, especially given the injuries and missing players Qld had. They overshot my expectations.

The NSW team played like a bunch of absolute professionals. It was impressive, and a really good turn about from the last decade of teams.

Unfortunately, the NSW media the last few days have been a bit tough to take, claiming NSW thrashed Qld and spruiking a new dynasty.

I didn't see the game like that. Sometimes I wonder if I watched a completely different game.

My nephew could only watch the first half of the game, so I messaged him some random comments through the second half so he didn't miss out completely (he's a Tigers and Aaron Woods fan). Strangely enough, my messages reflect the game I saw and the view I have that NSW were lucky, and, admittedly, created their own luck too by being a really solid team. They backed each other up. They worked together. They each did their job.

My messages (on right) show 4 potential tries for Qld, 3 of those in the last 10 minutes. If Qld get these tries, any of them, it could have made it a very very different game, possibly even result.

Tedesco made 2 try saving tackled.
Dugan whacked the ball from Guerra's hands.
Cordner and Dugan hold up Boyd.
Tedesco wraps up a kick.

Given in the first half that there were a couple of NSW tries that involved luck (like Fafita's one where O'Neill coughed up the ball), I think NSW were lucky to win. Yes, they played well, yes, they deserved to win, but I don't see a thrashing here.

I saw a great game. I saw a big improve from the Blue. I saw areas where Qld can, and will, improve.

I'm looking forward to a fantastic Game 2!

If you watched, how did you see the game?

Phallic Friday - gay men and football

I just read an article on news.com.au that prompted this post. I was wondering what I could write! This is the article here.

The article, by Matt Young, is about why he can't consider attending a football (league or soccer) game. He's a flamboyant gay man and he fears being in a testosterone-laden crowd where terms such a "f**got" and "p**f" are common shouted in abuse.

He also links to an article about a country AFL player who came out as gay, which is here.

This topic interests me because this is what I explored in Team Player, out sometime soonish.

As an avid league fan, I wrote Deep Diving with a MF relationship, mostly because I had been sitting at the footy daydreaming. But while I was writing it, and watching players interacting, and sifting through social media for inspiration, I was struck by a thought - what if a player was gay?

I knew that being gay wasn't something that the sporting media, and public, would be very receptive about. I struggled to imagine how an elite player would ever 'come out' and continue playing at the elite level because the scrutiny on them would be immense and possibly crippling. I imagine that some team mates would not take kindly to the information, and that could make it even more difficult for a gay player.

Women don't seem to have such a strong homophobic reaction, so I imagine that women would be more intrigued or nurturing...although, some women would be as bad as some men.

So I began to think about a male-male relationship in rugby league and how the guys might try to hide their sexuality and their relationship. Then I wondered how an alpha male might feel if he was attracted to a younger team mate, who was gay and interested in him, yet he'd not acknowledged his bisexuality before.

My mind went crazy thinking up scenarios and issues and Team Player fell out of my thoughts.

But in all my imaginings, I struggled to believe that a gay guy could continue to play an elite team sport after his sexuality was known. And this is largely because of the issues Matt Young talks about in his article - it's a testosterone-fuelled environment. It's a homophobic environment. It's an environment where spectators, and player to some extent, don't think about their expletive-laden, politically incorrect, verbal attacks on players, referees, other spectators.

Depending on where you sit in a footy crowd, it may not be the family-friendly environment that you hope. It can be rude, crude, and embarrassing. It can be scary. It can be horrifying. It can be some place you need to remove yourself from. I don't think that's improving either. And it's not the majority of spectators - it's a few who ruin the game for everyone.

We go to the games near us, we have season tickets, and so do many of the people around us. They're generally good, nice people. Last time, the MIL came and had a ticket a bay away from us but early on sat with us. When she went to find her correct seat, the family behind us said they had a spare and she was welcome to stay the row behind. Lovely people - kind and generous. But they did call the opposition by a variety of names through the game, none of which were politically correct, or something you'd want kids hearing or saying (yes, they have kids of their own!).

Sometimes, I think people don't notice what they say in the heat of the moment - and they parrot what others say. So, 'w*nker', 'p**ftah', 'f*ggot', 'd*ckhead', etc are all yelled, often without malice, but also without thinking of the impact those words have on the people in earshot.

I understand why Matt Young would be hesitant to attend a game - you've no idea who you'd be sitting near, and that can be concerning. It takes a long, long time to change people's attitudes, so I think it will be a long time before we have openly gay men in elite team sports, and probably a long time before all people feel comfortable in a passionate sporting crowd. Which is a shame, because some people at the footy are great. And maybe if you've been going from a when you were a kid, you become somewhat immune to the yobbos.

Have you ever felt unsafe in a sports crowd?

Wildlife Wednesday - Giant Toadfish

Dad visited last week and for the first time in a long time, we went out fishing on the river, in his tinny (that lives in my garage). Usually Dad brings the bad weather with him, but he must have tricked it this time because we had glorious sunshiny days. There was a bit of breeze both days we went out, but only for part of the day.

We had some good fishing too, or I did! The first day, I had 3 and Dad had enjoyed netting them for me! Luckily, the second day saw him get into the action too.

We didn't keep any of them. We could have kept the flathead but the first day I caught one early, and we let it go when we moved spots, thinking we wouldn't catch another. Then I caught another! The second day, we had two but we were late leaving to pick up Mr E and we didn't think we'd have time to clean the fish, so we let them go.

My other catches weren't ones we'd keep! But more on those fish, and the flathead, in the coming weeks.

This week is about the Giant Toadfish that I caught. It was a weird catch because it was heavy but a lazy kicker as I was pulling it in. I was thinking maybe an octopus, but when it kicked, it felt like a fish swimming not an octopus dragging. So I'm pulling up the mystery and Dad's there with the net. He scoops it up, struggles to lift it into the boat, and then we look at it. It's not pretty.

"What on earth is it?" I ask Dad, because he always knows.

"No idea."

So we stare at it. I pull out my phone and take snaps, and then the mouth opens and my camera is snapping at this tooth, this huge tooth! And the fish is making these noises, like it's moaning/gulping. It's body is shuddering. And we have a hook in its mouth and its mouth has that giant tooth. So we used pliers and unattached hook from fish, that's still moaning and shuddering. It's kind of eerie and disconcerting, especially when this fish looks like some sort of mutant.

Dad thinks we should keep it. I'm horrified. What on earth would we do with this fish? It doesn't even have a well-defined head to cut off for cleaning. Once I point this out, the fish goes back to the sea, leaving slime all over the net. So unpleasant!

Dad thinks he's caught a smaller thing on the Gold Coast but he has no idea what they're called. We're thinking parrot fish, or leatherjacket, or porcupine fish, or crazy toadfish. I'm doing random Googles while fishing but I give up. I know how long my ID takes.

When I get home, I tweet the pic to the guys at Wollongong Uni (Fish Thinkers) hoping they'll know, and another guy who's local and a diver answers and tells me it's a Giant Toadfish and they are unusual down this way. Looks like the fish did a Nemo in the current!

The Australian Museum website has this information, here.

So, here's the stats. We reckon it was about 70cm long, weighing about 3 kg. We were in about 12 ft water and I used a beach worm for bait. We were about 75m out off the Hay St boat ramp, the one in the middle of the road, not the end.

And that was Dad and my weird fish for the week!

Sunday Story - Team Player

Team Player (my MMF) is getting close...

This week I was given a peek at the cover - and it's smoking hot! - but it's not the final version yet, so I can't share it, sorry. But I will tell you that it'll look very nice sitting beside Deep Diving.

And I got a peek at the blurb, which is a lot hotter than my attempted blurb. I'll share that, but I'm not sure it's the final version so keep it under your hat.


She’s never been shy about what she wants – and now she wants them both...
Hannah Maynard, sports reporter, is sure it’s only her lust-filled fantasies linking Australian rugby league captain, Charlie Maxxin, with relative newcomer, Lyle Smythe-Jones. She and Charlie have shared quite a few steamy sessions over the years, so surely he’s not in a relationship with the young, unflappable player she’s dubbed Marble Boy?
Hannah lures Charlie to dinner and his reaction is all the answer she needs. But she doesn’t want to report on the biggest secret in Australian sport – she wants to take part. However, it’s not just Charlie’s decision and it can’t be just casual. If Hannah wants in, she has to be all in, with Lyle, with Charlie, and with the hottest action any of them have ever experienced.
My edits are due back to Escape in a fortnight...which means that the story is moving along the conveyor belt and release is getting closer.

I don't have an exact date yet...but I'll let you know as soon as I do.

I love having books coming out!

Phallic Friday - masturbation

My Dad's been visiting so I've been slack on the posts - but I caught some cool fish to post for next Wednesday and a few Wednesdays after, so I didn't neglect the blog totally!!

I wasn't going to post today either (the day is almost over) but I just saw an article about masturbation on the news.com.au site (you can read it here) and they claim that May is masturbation month - who knew? I didn't! I could have been celebrating all month!!! :)

There are some interesting claims in the article from a survey conducted by the sex toy brand LoveHoney. And given that the survey was done by a sex toy company, maybe the results are a bit skewed...but anyway...

They claim that 21% of men use sex toys at least once a week.

That 10% of women and 30% of men have never used sex toys.

60% of Aussies own more than 5 sex toys, and almost 25% own more than 11 sex toys.

They claim that 81% of women prefer using sex toys. But they don't say what the choices were.

They claim women spend longer (up to 30 mins) than men (about 10 mins) masturbating...which could be a reason for women preferring to use sex toys...but that's not said.

I'm a fan of masturbation and sex toys. I was converted early on after reading a magazine that's now defunct - Australian Women's Forum. They had a series (I think) or articles about sex toys and masturbation and advertised a women's only sex toy shop in Sydney, called The Pleasure Spot. In my late teens/early 20s, I was intrigued, so I went along. The woman who ran the place was awesome. So open about sex and pleasure and encouraging of people exploring their needs and wants. She had a shop full of sex toys and aids and explained then to me. I had no idea what anything was or how anything was used - such a sheltered life! It was an incredible experience. Her sales pitch, openness, and enthusiasm for people understanding sex converted me. I came away with my first vibrator. And then I moved away from Sydney - but she did mail order! When I die, someone is going to be incredibly shocked at my stash of sex toys :)

Are you a fan of sex toys? Did you know it was Masturbation May?

Phallic Friday - threesomes

I was excited to read this post today (http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/rela...) on the news.com.au website.
It's about a family, in Texas, with 3 parents, expecting their 3rd child. It's a relationship between 2 women and 1 man, and they love their lifestyle. They claim that it allows them more time for themselves, each other and for friends/hobbies. They claim that they can parent and work, juggling the demands of life, much easier in a threesome than in a couple.
They also want marriage. They've been together for 5 years and would love to be married even thought it's not legal. 
And this is where I think marriage equality is missing the point. Same sex marriage, is fine, but it's really not enough. If you want to talk about equality, then it needs to be that marriage is available to any form of committed relationship. Yet, I know that's unlikely to happen because people baulk at same sex marriage, so I can only imagine how they'd react to multiple partners, or other forms of relationships. But I still think same-sex marriage should not be referred to as marriage equality because it's still leaving people without.
Having said that, this threesome relationship gives me hope for my new book, Team Player. My threesome is 2 men and 1 woman, but I'm glad that there are people living in multiple partner arrangements.

Wildlife Wednesday - Gannets

A while back I did a post on what I thought might be the Australian Gannet - you can find it here. It's from 2014(!) and I was sure it wasn't THAT long ago!

Anyway, these birds are sometimes down near the beach, divebombing into the ocean for their feed. They're incredible to watch.

Here's some info from the Birds in Backyards website:
When they fly in groups, they're often herding fish into a shoal where they can dive and feed.
They have backward facing serrations on their bill that allows them to grasp the fish.
The fish is often swallowed before the bird reaches the surface even though they're only underwater for about 10 seconds.

Australian Geographic have and article here about the dangers these birds face when diving at speed after fish. They can have head or neck injuries from collisions with other birds, especially when they try to fight for the same fish!!


Gannets are now going to play a rather significant role in my writing life. I needed a team for my MMF rugby league book. I had picked a team name in my draft but there were a few other names similar, so I needed to make a change. And the Glebe Gannets came to my mind.

Let me give you a bit of backstory. Rugby league was created when a bunch of guys broke away from Rugby union because they wanted to be paid and compensated, especially for any injuries. This is why League has traditionally been the 'working class' game, and Union the 'rich man's' game.

Glebe, an inner city suburb of Sydney, was one of the first rugby league teams (there is some argument that it was the first, but others dispute this). Glebe no longer exists as a team in rugby league. I have a lot of connection to Glebe. My great-grandfather was one of those men who broke away from league to union. He played for Glebe. My grandparents lived in Glebe and I went to school there. So I think there's quite a lot of synergy for a Glebe team.

Gannets are here, at my beach. The two Gs go together. I'm sticking with a Sydney-based club. And Gannets are risk-takers, divebombing into the sea for food. They're awesome birds to watch. Brave and a little crazy. I think they'll work for my footy team.

My MMF story has found a home with Escape Publishing. I think it's even found a title - Team Player ! And I have a team. Plus an editor. This means you should be able to read it sometime...maybe early in the new year. I'll let you know on dates (I don't have that yet!).

Welcome to the Glebe Gannets.

Sunday Story - The Hidden Life Of Trees

I read this book recently, The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben. It's been translated into English from German so it's very European-focussed with most of the trees mentioned completely unfamiliar to me, and yet it was an interesting book.

He's presenting trees in a very anthropomorphic way and many examples are related human health, or human life, or human habits. In the beginning it kind of grated on me, but by the end I could see his purpose - or at least I think it's his purpose!

He's trying to make people love tress, as they love fluffy animals. He's trying to save trees by giving them human attributes so we can relate to them and ensure their existence.

He's saying that trees have such a huge life-span that our lifetime is almost an infinitesimal blip in their 'thoughts'. He's showing examples of inter-tree communication and support, to encourage people not to grow the single tree in an isolated location, but to look at trees as 'herd-animals'.

It was a nifty approach and by the end I thought he was clever in trying to get people to see trees in this way.

I love trees and I've despaired a few times at how many have been cut down around me as people "protect" their homes and lives. I've very happy to co-exist with trees. A few have fallen near me over my lifetime, and sure it scares the heck out of me at the time, but I've been really lucky to never have had any huge disaster from fallen trees or branches. Maybe I would feel differently had this not been the case.

Anyway, this book gave me an interesting read, produced a lot of strange ideas for stories, and gave me an interesting way to look at bringing science messages to people. I enjoyed it.

Phallic Friday - hypocrites

You know what riles me up more than anything else in the world?   Hypocrites.
Those who say one thing, often with so much power and conviction, yet go right on out and do the opposite. Often hiding it, hoping no one will ever know.
A while back, someone abused me for 'writing that shit', and their tone, words, and judgement really hurt me. I was shocked at how much it hurt. Now, I find out that the person who was so quick to judge me for writing about sex, and so horrified that I would write such shit, has been caught having sex where they shouldn't. And do you know what? In many circumstances, I'd be supportive and non-judgemental...but in this case, wow, I was so furious, I shocked myself.
When someone is exposed as a hypocrite, my fury knows no bounds. I'm not sure why this is. Sometimes you're passionate about something that's a character flaw in yourself, so maybe that's the issue, even if I hope not.

It has to do with my upbringing in a religious family and wider community, and my questioning nature. Those things were bound to clash!
I'm not outwardly rebellious or confrontational...I'm more likely to walk away and ignore something I'm not happy about. There is my character flaw regarding hypocrisy - I should stand and fight, yet I don't. Often I don't have the mental energy to bang my head against a brick wall trying to change people's opinions. Often I just don't want to get into an argument that is unlikely to be resolved. But anyway... back to religion and questions...
I don't have a 'blind faith' that is so often required in religions. I have a questioning mind, so I want to know how and why and what and who. I want logic in answers. I want to understand. 
Being logical means I want to see people do what they say they believe. I want examples of their Christianity, or their beliefs.
Too often I was let down. Most people can't explain their faith.  And so many with a blind faith, do so without actions reflecting their beliefs. They sprout forth platitudes e.g. we should help the poor, and yet they live in luxury without caring that the city has homeless people, let alone their church community has people struggling to feed their kids.
And so, hypocrisy brings me to boil...so hot, I stun myself into shame.