Nicholas Denmon's Blog, page 6

5 Worst Songs Ever

I have been hearing a ton of crap music lately.  This has inspired me to list the top 5 worst songs I have ever heard (recently).  This music is an insult to music and generally I consider it on par with the baying of hounds, teeth on silverware, or hot pokers in my eyes.

Simply, I fucking hate these songs.  If you enjoy them you have no taste, but that doesn't mean I don't luv ya anyway.  If we were in the car together and any one of these songs popped on the radio, I might get in a wreck trying to change the channel.

In order of pure god-awful:

5) Diamonds by Rihanna Fuck this song. Saying "Shine bright like a diamond" over and over and over until I WANT to crash my car into a tree does not a song make.  The best part of the video is when she tries to roll a blunt of diamonds at the beginning.  The only reason I like that is because I wish she would accidentally choke on the diamonds as she inhales, thus halting the rest of the damned song.

Is it to soon to think Chris Brown could have saved my ears...didn't she give him herpes?
4) Friday by Rebecca Black At least she has an excuse.  She clearly hasn't been in the music business long enough to make any kind of decision about the crap some executive has her sing in a horrid attempt to appeal to high school kids across America.  This song is so bad it has 46 million views just to laugh at it. 80% of all views that rated it gave it a thumbs down on youtube...but it is kinda catchy...especially on Friday.  Who can't get down with Friday?
I especially love the part, "Yesterday was Thursday" and later "Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes after." I can't make this stuff up.
3) Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj If the lyrics weren't enough the beat is simply an ambulance beep over and over foreverrrrrrrr.  It is akin to a strobe light to my ears.  I can't explain how awful this song is, you really just need to listen to it or watch the video (careful it is explicit).
It gets progressively worse as she has a police whistle join the ambulance at the "height" of the song. That is the entire beat. I was actually grateful when she went "a capella" at the end. 

2) Birthday Cake Rihanna ft. Chris Brown Oh my God. I didn't realize how much I hated Rihanna until just now.  She has literally made a career of repeating the same words over and over again.  She just says cake over and over. If you like this song, I have a novel to sell you. ;)
Nothing to say.  The song sucks. So. Bad.
1) Hot Problems by Double Take  I have to imagine this song sucks this bad on purpose.  If that is the case, well done.  I hate this song and, by extension, the people singing it.   FYI ladies, you aren't even hot. You did however succeed at making me want to vomit all over my keyboard.
Sigh.  What the fuck happened to music.  It might have died.  Collective music jumped off a cliff to avoid having to be associated with whatever this is.  It reminds me of bad cruise ship karaoke, only in a limo.
That's my list of awful music.  Don't fret though, I am sure Rihanna is cooking up some more shit to top this list.  I'll keep you posted!
TTFN Denmonites!
-ND

I am The Toy for my niece

I saw my brother and his family over New Years Eve and came to the realization that I might just have something in common with comedian Richard Pryor.  Though the realization developed over a period of months it really hit home December 31, 2012.

When I arrived at my brother's abode the first thing my niece decided to do was to take a flying leap into the air thus forcing me to catch her.  It was sweet actually.  But when I put her down and she ran into the other room I heard her say to her cousin that, "Uncle Nick is funny.  He will play anything!"

We then played a game called Bounce House where I lift her into the air repeatedly, a detriment to my 30 year old back. This usually goes on from about ten minutes to eternity as I lift, she laughs, and says, "Again!"

It is a routine.  In the span of twenty minutes we will:

ColorPlay with the hamsterBounce HouseKarate fight (I have to lose every time)Play Jail or Time Out (she locks me in a room or puts me in a corner)Chase (run in circles around the kitchen)Piggy Back RideSo here we are on the way to the restaurant. I am not going to lie, something really makes me happy to take the abuse:
It might be the smile she gets...
I mean how can you say "No," to someone who wears shoes like this?
Brother, I shall return these plastic princess slippers to you tonight at dinner.
Despite her cherub cheeks and bright eyes it does dawn on me that Richard Pryor and myself are really blood brothers in this type of arrangement as I am sure many men all over the globe are when it comes to the whims of children.  I will leave you now with a video of my life as an Uncle:

TTFN Denmonites
-ND

Final 2012 Sales Numbers

When I first put out For Nothing, my debut novel, I was pretty sure that no one would read it outside of my close friends and a few family members.  I was even more sure that some of my friends and family would buy it and never read it, but I could always say I had become a part of the literary world.

If I put out my novel, I thought, at least I would have a small place in the world that I loved so much, where imagination is king and the only limitation is the extent of ones creativity.  So I wrote a novel, put it out, and was fully expecting to never surpass 100 copies sold.  And it may have been that way if e-readers and indie supporters weren't able to connect with authors they way they can now in the age of social media and ever expanding networks.
I sold roughly 2,700 copies from May of 2011 until the end of 2012.  I put out a second book Buffalo Soldiers, and this year have eclipsed 4,500 sold of For Nothing this year plus another 3,000 sold for Buffalo Soldiers.  The yearly total is 7,500 books sold this year and over 10,000 sold since May of 2011.  Needless to say, each month feels like a dream. 
I really am appreciative of each person who has picked up my novels and given them a go.  Even though I keep the pricing down, I understand the time commitment that goes into reading a book and that has value added to the cost I put on my printed ideas. After all, time is money.  
So thank you.
The third installment of An Upstate New York Mafia Tale is due out in April and I couldn't be more excited about the direction the story is taking.  We have the familiar faces from the first two novels coming together again, albeit with a greater focus on fan favorites Rafael Rontego and Alex Vaughn. I heard the gripes from my die hard fans that Buffalo Soldiers deviated from their favorite characters a bit too much (a necessary evil to set up book three) and have brought you back to the characters you have grown to love...or hate.
So I will leave you with this very brief passage from book three, Ashes to Ashes (unedited of course, so don't be a grammar hater):
Excerpt from Ashes to Ashes:

The lights dimmed in and out as a pale and solitary bulb swung above him in taunting circles, casting shadows across the room that elongated and then disappeared like spooked apparitions. A jolt of pain traveled up his spine and tried to claw its way out of the back of his jerking eyeballs. He tried to focus on something, anything, but only the cinder-block walls greeted him, and always with the black shadows that reached out for him, beckoning to him, pulling him towards their inescapable bosom.

There was another stab of pain into his side that reverberated the length of him, dragging its teeth across his lowest rib bone. Knuckles clenched down on the metal table upon which  his body lay splayed across and his eyes rolled towards the cool and wet steel. His hands were slick with his own blood and his legs twitched with the pain, kicking out spasmodically as if trying to assault the ghosts that peeled his skin apart. Sucking in air as fast as he could, he tried to calm himself, but just when he thought he might conquer the agony, he felt another wave of it grate across his weakened body. His stomach convulsed and he nearly sat straight up with the shock.

“Ivan,” he yelled. He felt his veins tighten around his neck, threatening to strangle the shout from his throat. His voice sounded fair away but he could hear it echo in the small chamber. One of the ghosts appeared in front of him then, no more than a foot before his face, distorted and ugly.

“Shut up Rafael,” the ghost said. His hiss sounded like a whisper. “Do you want the police to storm this place?” A clammy palm seized him by the forehead and pushed him back onto the table, the place of his torture.

TTFN Denmonites!

-ND

Welcome 2013

I hope everyone had a wonderful NYE and they were able to usher out the old year with a bang. I had a great time hanging out with several groups of people who were kind enough to invite me to their celebrations.  The night started with a low-key dinner with my brother and his family where we discussed everything from politics, to moving to England, to my business and his business and then drank a bottle of wine between us.

Wet (Whet?) the whistle After that bottle of wine I had a delicious Filet Mignon topped with a Gorgonzola butter sauce.
 Delicious From there it was a house party with more food and drink.
According to rumor there was also pizza and cookies and monkey bread
Eventually they got me to wear a hat, before the wheels really fell off on the night's festivities and I retired for about two hours near a lovely fire pit to text important people in my life that I was wishing I could have around me as the ball dropped.  The hat and a tasty adult beverageThen after a flurry of phone calls at midnight to wish in the New Year with blessings etc, things started to move fast and the night degenerated into a haze of shots and jubilation. We were all thankful that no apocalypse took us and we were able to see the ball drop once more.
It all went well and I woke up happy to have this amazing breakfast ready for me to begin the rehabilitation process: Powdered sugar, butter, and syrup: Just what the doctor ordered
I hope everyone had a great night and an easy recovery today.  I am excited about 2013.  I have a feeling that 2013 will see many massive changes that have implications for many many many years to come.
TTFN Denmonites!
-ND

The Times They Are a-Changin

2012. 

This is a year that I am looking back on as one I love to hate. I entered the year with so much optimism, I had big hopes for the future while also having personal goals I set out to achieve. I hate this year in some ways because I failed to completely round out some big ticket items in my business, spiritual, and personal life.
However, most events saw progress but it was the kind of halting progress that is frustrating and makes you feel as if vines are wrapped around your ankles each time you try to sprint. All aspects of my life suffered setbacks and delays but have ultimately moved forward. Some of the paths have been winding and I try and find reason in all of these things as I look hopefully forward towards 2013.

There is much to be thankful for in 2012, so let me recap a few:

My first novel, For Nothing, hit number one in its genre on Amazon My second novel Buffalo Soldiers was released I started the year at 195 pounds, got down to 160 working out twice a day and now am gaining muscle to where I weigh 171 pounds and feel much better about myself, which is what is important.I have learned about the religion of Islam, read the Qu'ran twice and learned about myself on the Night of Power, had fun going through my first Ramadan with an amazing Imam as a teacher,and the guidance of a few very good Muslim friends and one more so than the rest.Went to Denver, CO for the first time in my lifeI had my first novel turned into a screenplay by Thomas Humphreys, formed a business with him, and continued with other businesses with other wonderful friends.Adopted a second family of the Welsh persuasion, visited a foreign country five different times this year, had international friends visit, and found myself at a random bar in Slough in the U.K. drunk out of my mind.  Then wound up in Paddington going round to pubs and listening to charming British folk apologise for everything they did before standing up and singing songs in the pub. An amazing experience reallyFought off a Polar Bear attack with nothing but an ice skate (just kidding)Took up martial arts and grappling again after a few years off.  I can now say I have done some form of the art for 8 years now (intermittently)Lead the charge on the largest single client implementation my office has ever seen, successfully tooSaw what happens when people come together for a good cause this Christmas seasonHad a wonderful holiday season and saw family I have not seen in far too long across the stateThere is more...just some stuff is best left in my head! You know what I am talking about...you. :-P
Looking forward to in 2013

Seeing new places with a few familiar faces and some new facesGrowing my businesses to the next level, all four of themGetting my third novel outGetting my fourth novel outMaking a successful transition...Growing to be a better person in all things whether that be honesty with myself and others, or just continuing to minimize the ignorant part of my mind with consistent learning and evaluating, growth is essential, alwaysMultiple weddings involving friends and family.  I think they are all getting married just to see me.  A simple weekend invitation would have worked fellas...I will go from being an Uncle once over to four times over.  Speaking of, my brother sent me this video of my current niece last night proclaiming my greatness (who if you remember I tainted with ice cream):
Plus a few more personal items which again, I must keep close to the vest (it would bore most of you anyway). 
I hope all of you have a nice end to the year 2012. And as we look into 2013 I leave you with the timeless and immortal words of Bob Dylan:

First Video Blog

So my little brother suggested I get with the times and do a video blog. This is my first attempt, and the sun was in my eyes, there was background noise...

But nevertheless here it is:



Quick recap:


2 novels are due out in the next 4 monthsThose novels are Ashes to Ashes and God's Forgotten SonNew Year means new adventuresHappy HolidaysTTFN Denmonites!
-ND

Business and Pleasure

Business First

My business partner and I have been putting together a web development team for a huge project we are undertaking and we have gone through about 40 bids from competing companies in the last month.  We have finally narrowed down the likely candidates to two companies, one based in the U.S. and one based in the U.K.

Previous to this, we spent a great deal of time putting together investors, business models, and researching the competition in the sector, so looking into the New Year we are excited to finally pull the pieces of the puzzle together to launch this endeavor.

Look for big things from Cross Atlantic Acquisitions throughout 2013.

Slight Change to the Blog

If you look in the upper right-hand corner you can now find easy links to my novels.  Check em out.  Also you can note that my fan page is linked a bit lower on the right-hand side, through Facebook.  If you haven't "Liked" my page please feel free to unburden that guilt now... :)

Now for Pleasure...

I will be going on a little trip to see some family that I didn't get to see this past weekend as sort of a farewell tour for 2012.  It should be fun, but it is yet another busy weekend.  After that, I will probably have lots of alone time to dedicate to finishing two novels by my self-imposed April deadline.

But I digress - sorry to have slipped back into business there for a moment.

I look forward to seeing my family and spending time with them and am happy to do my tour. Tonight I will see the movie This Is 40 and hopefully distract myself for the evening from real world issues.  I will let you all know if it is funny ;)

Here is the trailer in case you don't know the film:

My Christmas in 10 Pictures

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. It always seems to take forever to come, and then "poof" it's gone. I had a nice time seeing family and friends and updating an important person in my life each step of the way as I celebrated the holiday (sorry for the deluge of pictures!).  Some of the pictures I collected are a good reflection of how I spent my holiday, so in ten pictures, this is what happened!
Started the eve with a beverage and a movie (South Park Christmas) This was the lovely tree with presents all around it -190 presents. Wow. We made a traditional 7 course fish dinner, Lobster being clutch. With Shrimp in butter sauces as an appetizer An ornament I made my Dad in second grade which he brings out every year
 Then we opened presents of course, this is my niece with her new best friend.
 My Dad, ever thoughtful, bought me a guide to the city of London
 Argyle is well known as a great Nick Denmon present
Yep...
Then we watched more Christmas movies before I went to my Mom's house and did it all over again!
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and spent time with loved ones.  I have at least one I didn't get to spend my holiday with so, I empathize if you missed someone this holiday season. But the New Year is right around the corner and who knows what adventures 2013 will bring; hopefully adventures filled with your family and friends, new and old!
TTFN Denmonites!
-ND

A Christmas Carol and the Final Tally For All Childrens

It is the little things in life that really make you smile.  Some of my best friends over the last year have been the international sort.  A collection of Welshmen and various other Brits to be exact.  We've kept in touch through the various social mediums, Facebook, twitter, text. 

I woke to this astounding musical rendition of a Christmas carol and it makes me smile each time I watch it. 

Just thought I would share:


Christmas Countdown:

Christmas is tomorrow!  It is great to say that.  Gifts have been wrapped, mailed, hopefully delivered.  I have sent things from eBay, Amazon, U.S.Post, FedEx, UPS, the Coach Factory, via U.S. Airways, and through email (thank you Groupon).

Tonight I will count my blessings as I help my family make a seven course traditional Italian Christmas fish dinner.
Maybe I will sneak an early present from under the tree...

Speaking of blessings here is the final tally on the book giveaway / All Children's Hospital benefit.

What an amazing success. Really.  Thank all of you for taking this to heart.

The Program:

New Holiday Tradition to Benefit All Children's This holiday season, Busch Gardens begins a new tradition when it hosts its biggest Christmas celebration ever.  Christmas Town  transforms the park into a nighttime holiday wonderland of wintry surprises and all things Christmas. And a portion of the proceeds will benefit All Children's Hospital. (Click to read more)

Those Who Participated (December 20-23):

Julio Randel
Kurt Haar
Jessie Lisenby
Loraine Bonaparte
Nelson Sandquist
Guy Lorch
Lonnie Nylander

Their Book Choices:
4 For Nothing
3 Buffalo Soldiers
Receipts Total:
$280.00
Remember even one ticket purchased, got you the book, signed. Most have purchased several and I thank you for that!

GRAND TOTALS:

Participants (since December 7th) - 57

Receipts - $2070.00

Books Given Away - 56 plus one high-five.

Days Left: 0 MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Tomorrow)

Thank you all for really making this a special Christmas season!

TTFN DEnmonites!

-ND

My Big Brother: Father, Husband, Attorney, Python Hunter

Every now and then pictures do better to explain something than actually using words.

So I will provide just a brief introduction. 

I was on my way to see The Hobbit this evening and my attorney of a brother, the one who represents me in any and all legal battles, other than the ones my father represents me in, decides to send me a text.

This is the flurry of text messages that followed:

 At this point I already know how weird this text is...
 The decision has been made to immortalize this text...
 No words needed.



I will leave you with this quote...

"Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole life-style a Crime in Progress is not a happy prospect."

-Hunter S. Thompson