Nicholas Denmon's Blog, page 16
April 26, 2011
Revenge of the Nerd; A College Misadventure
We went over how nerdy I am in great detail last week. If you missed it, you can find that story, in all of its (ahem) glory, here. Just because I was, and really still am, a nerd does not mean there weren't a few attempts at stepping out of the nerd box and into the realm of those select few we call, The Cool.
Nerds. We had nothing all through eighth grade. We picked up steam in high school, but it was never enough was it?
Sure we had moments where members of the math team thought we were hot. A very few of us may have pulled the cheerleader who got her college freshmen fifteen early, like sophomore year of high school. Maybe, just maybe, you went to a school where nerds were viewed as cool due to some twilight-zone fluke. I went to one of those schools, and still was not a member of The Cool.
So it goes. Life isn't fair.
But I wasn't the kid who had "Andrew Is Gay" (Their words not mine. I have no problem with my brethren who prefer those of like build, musculature, and facial hair.) spray painted in the center of the school courtyard. I had a friend or two, mostly nerds also. I managed to get by.
I felt there was hope I might yet enter the world of those car owning, bad grade, good-looking, types.
I might yet transcend my genetic walls and infiltrate The Cool.
This theory, my hypothesis indicated, involved a lot of drinking and bad decisions.
Fortunately, this coincided with college. You have already heard about Miss Piggy. She wasn't the first nor was she the last. Hell, I am perfectly aware that I might have been her bad decision, but let us not get bogged down in details.
Enter freshman year of college. I mean, some time when I was 21. When I was 21, my brother (who also attended UF with me) and I decided to do Power Hour. For those of you in The Cool, I need not explain the rules. But for my nerdy counterparts the game goes like this:
You drink a shot of beer every minute for one hour.
Brilliant? Yes. So brilliant, that somewhere along the line I decided my red plastic cup was not sufficient for drinking. I filled a Captain Morgan bottle with beer from the keg. Fast forward some hours. I don't remember much except that there was a party.
I am up on a balcony over looking a pool. My brother and maybe a half dozen of our friends are below in the pool chairs. There is a girl from high school, who ironically liked nerds in high school.
The apartment balcony where the fuzz caught me beer-handed (and also I got a kiss).
She gives me a kiss. Jubilant, I look over the rail for witnesses, where I see my brother and friends all cheering me on. At last, victory, sweet victory. The nerd gets his due.
Oh, he does.
Lifting my handle of Captain Morgan bottle filled with beer, I salute my comrades below. Arms spread out, I am, for a moment, king of the world.
But wait. Suddenly, everyone from the party has moved inside. I am alone on the balcony and my friends and brother below are yelling.
This celebration seems to have gone on longer than it should. Crazy bastards.
But the masses must be appeased. I raise my hands yet again...
...and someone taps me from behind. I look down at those below, who have suddenly been silenced.
Why the look of dread?
I turn. And come face to face with a pig. No, not Miss Piggy in her rumpled saggy goodness. The fuzz. The 5-0.
In a panic, I send my bottle over the railing with a CRASH of finality as it hits the concrete below.
Face creased and brow furrowed, he tilted his hat back, flash light at the ready. "Can I see your I.D. please?"
The details don't matter. Suffice it to say, that at $75.00 for an open container infraction, this being cool thing wasn't making sense economically. After about four more years of that nonsense, I humbly submitted myself to lifetime of nerd-om.
That, my friends, has made all the difference.
Nerds. We had nothing all through eighth grade. We picked up steam in high school, but it was never enough was it?
Sure we had moments where members of the math team thought we were hot. A very few of us may have pulled the cheerleader who got her college freshmen fifteen early, like sophomore year of high school. Maybe, just maybe, you went to a school where nerds were viewed as cool due to some twilight-zone fluke. I went to one of those schools, and still was not a member of The Cool.
So it goes. Life isn't fair.
But I wasn't the kid who had "Andrew Is Gay" (Their words not mine. I have no problem with my brethren who prefer those of like build, musculature, and facial hair.) spray painted in the center of the school courtyard. I had a friend or two, mostly nerds also. I managed to get by.
I felt there was hope I might yet enter the world of those car owning, bad grade, good-looking, types.
I might yet transcend my genetic walls and infiltrate The Cool.
This theory, my hypothesis indicated, involved a lot of drinking and bad decisions.
Fortunately, this coincided with college. You have already heard about Miss Piggy. She wasn't the first nor was she the last. Hell, I am perfectly aware that I might have been her bad decision, but let us not get bogged down in details.
Enter freshman year of college. I mean, some time when I was 21. When I was 21, my brother (who also attended UF with me) and I decided to do Power Hour. For those of you in The Cool, I need not explain the rules. But for my nerdy counterparts the game goes like this:
You drink a shot of beer every minute for one hour.
Brilliant? Yes. So brilliant, that somewhere along the line I decided my red plastic cup was not sufficient for drinking. I filled a Captain Morgan bottle with beer from the keg. Fast forward some hours. I don't remember much except that there was a party.
I am up on a balcony over looking a pool. My brother and maybe a half dozen of our friends are below in the pool chairs. There is a girl from high school, who ironically liked nerds in high school.
The apartment balcony where the fuzz caught me beer-handed (and also I got a kiss).
She gives me a kiss. Jubilant, I look over the rail for witnesses, where I see my brother and friends all cheering me on. At last, victory, sweet victory. The nerd gets his due.
Oh, he does.
Lifting my handle of Captain Morgan bottle filled with beer, I salute my comrades below. Arms spread out, I am, for a moment, king of the world.
But wait. Suddenly, everyone from the party has moved inside. I am alone on the balcony and my friends and brother below are yelling.
This celebration seems to have gone on longer than it should. Crazy bastards.
But the masses must be appeased. I raise my hands yet again...
...and someone taps me from behind. I look down at those below, who have suddenly been silenced.
Why the look of dread?
I turn. And come face to face with a pig. No, not Miss Piggy in her rumpled saggy goodness. The fuzz. The 5-0.
In a panic, I send my bottle over the railing with a CRASH of finality as it hits the concrete below.
Face creased and brow furrowed, he tilted his hat back, flash light at the ready. "Can I see your I.D. please?"
The details don't matter. Suffice it to say, that at $75.00 for an open container infraction, this being cool thing wasn't making sense economically. After about four more years of that nonsense, I humbly submitted myself to lifetime of nerd-om.
That, my friends, has made all the difference.
April 25, 2011
An Interview With Nicole Ireland, Author of A Second Chance
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Nicole Ireland has her debut novel on the shelves. I invited her to visit my blog and let us in on the secrets behind A Second Chance. Since I hate speeches, read below:
Me: Nicole, give my friends the skinny on who you are and what you do.Nicole: During the day I juggle being a mom with working from home all while feeling like a member of the walking dead. (Insomnia's a bitch!)Workwise, I'm the Reality TV Curator for MySpace. (Yes, that's right. I said MySpace. It's still around. And better than ever, in my opinion.)I'm also a freelance writer, as well as a compliance coordinator and administrative assistant for a pizza dough production company.At night, that's when I let my hair down and frolic with the people who live inside my head. They're a rowdy bunch.
Me: I think interviews should always have an icebreaker, so here's mine; "What is the craziest thing you have ever done?"Nicole: That depends on your definition of crazy. I'm not generally prone to moments of craziness. Well, I do talk to myself on a frequent basis, but that's normal for writers. Right?Honestly, the craziest thing I've ever done was when my brother, my best friend and I decided to snoop around the farm behind my parent's house. We decided to check out the farm's old guest house that no one used. While we were in there, the entire building started shaking. What caused it, we'll never know. But I can tell you we high-tailed it out of that house in record time. We were, as the saying goes, scared shitless.
Me: Recently you released your novel A Second Chance. A review by "Doubleshot Reviews", gave it their highest ranking, a Quad Expresso Shot which means:You don't already own and have read this book multiple times? What's wrong with you?! Put down the coffee and go buy this book!How did you go about finding the right people to review your work?Nicole: I'm just so damn charming they come to me, like a moth to a flame. LOL!Seriously, though, I have made some amazing friends over the years who understand who I am and what I'm trying to accomplish with my writing. A lot of the reviews you see are ones they wrote on their own accord, which I'm grateful for.As far as the review from "Doubleshot Reviews", I'd actually sent Heather Faville a copy of A Second Chance for her to read and give me her insight on. At that point I was actually questioning whether or not I should publish it. I was afraid it sucked, and I needed the opinion of someone who I hadn't known for years to tell me the truth.So imagine my surprise and delight when I read her review. I can honestly say I broke down into tears. Hell, during moments of uncertainty over the past couple of weeks I've returned to that review for a pick me up.Some of the more recent reviews have come from fellow authors that I've asked to review my work because I felt they'd give their honest opinion and not just say what I wanted to hear. And while I've been lucky thus far, I'm dreading the day I get the hated one-star review. I know I'm not exempt from them. No one is, so I hope when my turn comes, I can focus on the positive ones I've received and not let the one-star one bring me down.
Me: The next two questions are things many writers wonder. The first is fun. The second is more, technical.From where do you draw your inspiration? Specifically, where did you pull the inspiration for your main character, Annabelle Dixon?Nicole: I draw inspiration from my own life, as well as from stories I've read, my friends, my family, my children, TV and my own dreams.As far as Annabelle Dixon is concerned, the inspiration for her was me. I know some authors frown on basing characters on one's self, but I've experienced a lot in my life, and I think sharing some of those experiences could help others.As for Annabelle's battle with cancer, all of the emotions and fears she experienced are ones I felt while awaiting biopsy results a few years back. It was a really rough time. I kept looking at my children and asking myself all sorts of "what if" questions. The last thing I wanted was to leave my babies without their mom.In addition, I also drew on experiences from fellow family members and friends, some of whom one their battle with cancer while others weren't so fortunate.
Me: How would you describe your writing process? For instance, some writers just sit down and go. Others need to develop an outline, a back-story, and character histories. How was A Second Chance put on paper?Nicole: It depends. I've outlined stories in the past, but I've found that more often than not, the stories always undergo a significant amount of change from their original concepts, so now I shoot from hip, so to speak.
Me: Finally, my blog is full of random facts about me. I believe people are interested in not just a novel, but also the person who creates the story. In that spirit, tell me five unique things about Nicole Ireland. Nicole: 1- I once was a junior firefighter for our local volunteer fire department.2- If I could be any mammal I'd be a dolphin.3- I'm parts French, English, Irish, Native American and Norwegian.4- My favorite food is Japanese, followed by Italian.5- I'm a country girl at heart. Big cities, traffic and smog are not for me. I need wide open spaces, green grass, tall trees and clean air.
Me: Thank you so much for joining me on Cat Get Off My Keyboard. I know several people who want to purchase your novel, so where would they go to get a copy?Nicole: Thank you for having me, Nick. It's been a pleasure. I just hope I didn't bore everyone too bad. (Me: You did not. You clearly kicked ass.) As for where you can purchase A Second Chance, it's currently available via Smashwords and Amazon. I'm still waiting on PubIt!, Barnes & Noble publishing platform. Once it's available on B&N, I'll post it to my site, so for those who want to wait to purchase through B&N, I suggest stopping by every few days to see if it's available. I will update
Nicole Ireland has her debut novel on the shelves. I invited her to visit my blog and let us in on the secrets behind A Second Chance. Since I hate speeches, read below:
Me: Nicole, give my friends the skinny on who you are and what you do.Nicole: During the day I juggle being a mom with working from home all while feeling like a member of the walking dead. (Insomnia's a bitch!)Workwise, I'm the Reality TV Curator for MySpace. (Yes, that's right. I said MySpace. It's still around. And better than ever, in my opinion.)I'm also a freelance writer, as well as a compliance coordinator and administrative assistant for a pizza dough production company.At night, that's when I let my hair down and frolic with the people who live inside my head. They're a rowdy bunch.
Me: I think interviews should always have an icebreaker, so here's mine; "What is the craziest thing you have ever done?"Nicole: That depends on your definition of crazy. I'm not generally prone to moments of craziness. Well, I do talk to myself on a frequent basis, but that's normal for writers. Right?Honestly, the craziest thing I've ever done was when my brother, my best friend and I decided to snoop around the farm behind my parent's house. We decided to check out the farm's old guest house that no one used. While we were in there, the entire building started shaking. What caused it, we'll never know. But I can tell you we high-tailed it out of that house in record time. We were, as the saying goes, scared shitless.Me: Recently you released your novel A Second Chance. A review by "Doubleshot Reviews", gave it their highest ranking, a Quad Expresso Shot which means:You don't already own and have read this book multiple times? What's wrong with you?! Put down the coffee and go buy this book!How did you go about finding the right people to review your work?Nicole: I'm just so damn charming they come to me, like a moth to a flame. LOL!Seriously, though, I have made some amazing friends over the years who understand who I am and what I'm trying to accomplish with my writing. A lot of the reviews you see are ones they wrote on their own accord, which I'm grateful for.As far as the review from "Doubleshot Reviews", I'd actually sent Heather Faville a copy of A Second Chance for her to read and give me her insight on. At that point I was actually questioning whether or not I should publish it. I was afraid it sucked, and I needed the opinion of someone who I hadn't known for years to tell me the truth.So imagine my surprise and delight when I read her review. I can honestly say I broke down into tears. Hell, during moments of uncertainty over the past couple of weeks I've returned to that review for a pick me up.Some of the more recent reviews have come from fellow authors that I've asked to review my work because I felt they'd give their honest opinion and not just say what I wanted to hear. And while I've been lucky thus far, I'm dreading the day I get the hated one-star review. I know I'm not exempt from them. No one is, so I hope when my turn comes, I can focus on the positive ones I've received and not let the one-star one bring me down.
Me: The next two questions are things many writers wonder. The first is fun. The second is more, technical.From where do you draw your inspiration? Specifically, where did you pull the inspiration for your main character, Annabelle Dixon?Nicole: I draw inspiration from my own life, as well as from stories I've read, my friends, my family, my children, TV and my own dreams.As far as Annabelle Dixon is concerned, the inspiration for her was me. I know some authors frown on basing characters on one's self, but I've experienced a lot in my life, and I think sharing some of those experiences could help others.As for Annabelle's battle with cancer, all of the emotions and fears she experienced are ones I felt while awaiting biopsy results a few years back. It was a really rough time. I kept looking at my children and asking myself all sorts of "what if" questions. The last thing I wanted was to leave my babies without their mom.In addition, I also drew on experiences from fellow family members and friends, some of whom one their battle with cancer while others weren't so fortunate.
Me: How would you describe your writing process? For instance, some writers just sit down and go. Others need to develop an outline, a back-story, and character histories. How was A Second Chance put on paper?Nicole: It depends. I've outlined stories in the past, but I've found that more often than not, the stories always undergo a significant amount of change from their original concepts, so now I shoot from hip, so to speak.
Me: Finally, my blog is full of random facts about me. I believe people are interested in not just a novel, but also the person who creates the story. In that spirit, tell me five unique things about Nicole Ireland. Nicole: 1- I once was a junior firefighter for our local volunteer fire department.2- If I could be any mammal I'd be a dolphin.3- I'm parts French, English, Irish, Native American and Norwegian.4- My favorite food is Japanese, followed by Italian.5- I'm a country girl at heart. Big cities, traffic and smog are not for me. I need wide open spaces, green grass, tall trees and clean air.
Me: Thank you so much for joining me on Cat Get Off My Keyboard. I know several people who want to purchase your novel, so where would they go to get a copy?Nicole: Thank you for having me, Nick. It's been a pleasure. I just hope I didn't bore everyone too bad. (Me: You did not. You clearly kicked ass.) As for where you can purchase A Second Chance, it's currently available via Smashwords and Amazon. I'm still waiting on PubIt!, Barnes & Noble publishing platform. Once it's available on B&N, I'll post it to my site, so for those who want to wait to purchase through B&N, I suggest stopping by every few days to see if it's available. I will update
April 21, 2011
Nerdy Nerd McNerderson
In high school I was a huge nerd. I still am, but back then the difference was I tried to be cool. Somewhere along the line I managed to make decent grades, do fairly well as a wrestler, and go to college and brought home the finest piece of ass (also very nerdy) north of Pembroke Pines. But before my college days, I was just a nerd, trying to get by.
Me, aged 11, a few years before high schoolI read at night, with a flash light, under the covers. I thought that, perhaps, I was pulling one over on my old man. Bedtime is for suckers or in the words of 50 Cent, "Sleep is for those people who are broke."
The net result was the magnificent pair of CIA specs on the boy above, an outrageous verbal SAT score, and a whole bunch of nerd-tastic tendencies. These tendencies included, but were not limited to:
1) Laughing at my own jokes. Fuck off. The timing of jokes takes a while to develop, as much time as say a dose of testosterone...
2) Gladly imitating the character Fuller from Home Alone. Dammit, the truth hurts. The quotes, "I don't want to sleep on the hide-a bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed." and "Lay off the Pepsi, Fuller" echo in the recesses of my brain.
3) Being compared with Lucas from the movie Lucas, didn't phase me...fuck. Yes it did. It stung then and still stings now. My brothers still love to call me Lucas. One day, they'll get theirs. *shakes fist at the heavens*
4) Also writing blogs is nerdy, but guess what, you're reading this so what does that make you? Come to think of it, people watched those movies too...
5) The glorification of nerds in public makes me smile. I recently read on a Jimmy Johns poster that you should be nice to nerds because one day you'll end up working for one. That warms my heart, until I realize that, either there were way more people nerdier than myself, or that statement is simply inaccurate.
Tomorrow, my post on the Revenge of the Nerd, and his glorious college misadventures.
Me, aged 11, a few years before high schoolI read at night, with a flash light, under the covers. I thought that, perhaps, I was pulling one over on my old man. Bedtime is for suckers or in the words of 50 Cent, "Sleep is for those people who are broke."
The net result was the magnificent pair of CIA specs on the boy above, an outrageous verbal SAT score, and a whole bunch of nerd-tastic tendencies. These tendencies included, but were not limited to:
1) Laughing at my own jokes. Fuck off. The timing of jokes takes a while to develop, as much time as say a dose of testosterone...
2) Gladly imitating the character Fuller from Home Alone. Dammit, the truth hurts. The quotes, "I don't want to sleep on the hide-a bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed." and "Lay off the Pepsi, Fuller" echo in the recesses of my brain.
3) Being compared with Lucas from the movie Lucas, didn't phase me...fuck. Yes it did. It stung then and still stings now. My brothers still love to call me Lucas. One day, they'll get theirs. *shakes fist at the heavens*
4) Also writing blogs is nerdy, but guess what, you're reading this so what does that make you? Come to think of it, people watched those movies too...
5) The glorification of nerds in public makes me smile. I recently read on a Jimmy Johns poster that you should be nice to nerds because one day you'll end up working for one. That warms my heart, until I realize that, either there were way more people nerdier than myself, or that statement is simply inaccurate.
Tomorrow, my post on the Revenge of the Nerd, and his glorious college misadventures.
