Richard Raley's Blog, page 33
April 16, 2016
Quick Notes #12 and Unfair FM6 Teasing #3
1. Just finished writing 5k words tonight, quite the outpouring! Huge writer's high at the moment!
2. Might be the best scene in the book yet and that's saying something! Very much the bloodiest scene I've written, unless you count blood gods...
3. Now have 13 of 17 chapters finished, so went ahead and added 20k words to the estimate. Other structural changes to the book include combining chapter 1 and 2 of the school story to give me some more space to not cram most of it at the back end.
4. I've gone back and forth on a chapter in the book a few times and have decided to cut it. It takes place near the end of the book. Without spoiling too much...something huge happens somewhere King Henry isnt, so I had planned to give Val her own chapter, told to a tape recorder after the fact as a report on events for the Learning Council. Was really looking forward to it, but I think it's just TOO MUCH for a book that is already insanely epic. So like King Henry...you'll just have miss out.
5. Would probably still make an awesome novella, we'll see.
6. Average FM6 chapter is 9k words, by far the largest in the series. FM2 wasnt even 5k.
7. Lots of whining about my last tease not being enough, so here's another one, will probably be your last for a couple months, so I'm making it especially mouthwatering.
Silence was the only epilogue.
Too early for a man to even scream for his momma.
On I walked.
Into the smoke, the cloud of dirt; into the blood seeped over tilled soil, through the bodies of the fallen and shaking, petrified survivors praying to a god they long ago abandoned. Forgiveness! Mercy! Meteyos! Great One! Killer of Fools! Call him off! I beg you, please! Spare us!
I heard a voice from halfway across the world give his only answer.
FINISH THEM.
8. Teehee! Guess what? Guess what? That's the MIDDLE of the book.
9. *Sits back and watches the reaction.*
2. Might be the best scene in the book yet and that's saying something! Very much the bloodiest scene I've written, unless you count blood gods...
3. Now have 13 of 17 chapters finished, so went ahead and added 20k words to the estimate. Other structural changes to the book include combining chapter 1 and 2 of the school story to give me some more space to not cram most of it at the back end.
4. I've gone back and forth on a chapter in the book a few times and have decided to cut it. It takes place near the end of the book. Without spoiling too much...something huge happens somewhere King Henry isnt, so I had planned to give Val her own chapter, told to a tape recorder after the fact as a report on events for the Learning Council. Was really looking forward to it, but I think it's just TOO MUCH for a book that is already insanely epic. So like King Henry...you'll just have miss out.
5. Would probably still make an awesome novella, we'll see.
6. Average FM6 chapter is 9k words, by far the largest in the series. FM2 wasnt even 5k.
7. Lots of whining about my last tease not being enough, so here's another one, will probably be your last for a couple months, so I'm making it especially mouthwatering.
Silence was the only epilogue.
Too early for a man to even scream for his momma.
On I walked.
Into the smoke, the cloud of dirt; into the blood seeped over tilled soil, through the bodies of the fallen and shaking, petrified survivors praying to a god they long ago abandoned. Forgiveness! Mercy! Meteyos! Great One! Killer of Fools! Call him off! I beg you, please! Spare us!
I heard a voice from halfway across the world give his only answer.
FINISH THEM.
8. Teehee! Guess what? Guess what? That's the MIDDLE of the book.
9. *Sits back and watches the reaction.*
April 13, 2016
Quick Notes #11
1. Haven't been writing much, just woking with what I already have. Cut about 1k words from the first few chapters, have added about 3k back to later chapters from last month's massive surge.
2. This puts us halfway to being finished even if I very much don't feel like that at the moment! Have about 430 pages, so looking to be 800 page book, but we'll see how editing messes with it once that time is upon us.
3. Have a couple chapters still to read through, very much excited by how it's shaping up so far. I view writing a novel kind of like building a skyscraper. You push forward adding new floors but eventually mistakes and holes add up and that foundation just feels too shaky to add any more to it, need to go back and do some shoring up. Happens every five to six chapters and you just get paranoid, so better check it's not all about to crumble down around you!
4. I teared up a couple times reading through it. Who's a softie? This fucking guy!
5. Still waiting another 5 or so days before adding my books to Amazon Select, so if you have friends with Unlimited let them know the series will be available very soon.
6. As expected FM1 is no longer free. Haven't decided if I'll keep it at 3.99 or drop it lower, maybe even to 99 cents.
7. I final watched Silicon Valley on HBO. Holy fuckballs I haven't laughed like that for years.
8. Thanks to everyone who answered the fan survey here or by emailing me!
9. Reviews for Cap America 3 up and can't see for another month, so unfair! See, I know how it feels!
2. This puts us halfway to being finished even if I very much don't feel like that at the moment! Have about 430 pages, so looking to be 800 page book, but we'll see how editing messes with it once that time is upon us.
3. Have a couple chapters still to read through, very much excited by how it's shaping up so far. I view writing a novel kind of like building a skyscraper. You push forward adding new floors but eventually mistakes and holes add up and that foundation just feels too shaky to add any more to it, need to go back and do some shoring up. Happens every five to six chapters and you just get paranoid, so better check it's not all about to crumble down around you!
4. I teared up a couple times reading through it. Who's a softie? This fucking guy!
5. Still waiting another 5 or so days before adding my books to Amazon Select, so if you have friends with Unlimited let them know the series will be available very soon.
6. As expected FM1 is no longer free. Haven't decided if I'll keep it at 3.99 or drop it lower, maybe even to 99 cents.
7. I final watched Silicon Valley on HBO. Holy fuckballs I haven't laughed like that for years.
8. Thanks to everyone who answered the fan survey here or by emailing me!
9. Reviews for Cap America 3 up and can't see for another month, so unfair! See, I know how it feels!
April 8, 2016
Unfair FM6 Teasing #2
"Ain't no one better at burying a body than a geomancer."
April 2, 2016
Quick Notes Number Whatever-the-$#@&
1. Final tally for my writing output in March came to 42k words. This makes it just barely my highest output of all time. If I was able to keep the same output then FM6 would be finished quite quickly, however please don't expect it. I'm already off to a lagging start in April with alergies as the main culprit. With some family days and doctor stuff near the end of the month I'll probably be lucky to make my 20k average.
2. Sales for FM5.5 plummeted to not even 200 for March. Means all the super fans bought it and the casual fans said "nope". Because as we know, absolutely nothing interesting could ever happen in an intermediate novel and trying anything new must be punished and met with extreme skeptcism. Write the same novel over and over for the rest of your life and know your place, writer bitch!
3. I'm right in the middle of FM6, which is just the worst place to be as an author. The monster just feels invincible and untamed and all over the fucking place. Even having written 8 books, it still feels daunting to think I still have just as much to write as I already have, despite the fact I've thrown so much mental and emotional energy at it. My heart really goes out to first time authors scaling this mountain, experienced though I am I feel very low at the moment and question every life decision I've ever made that led me to this point, heh.
4. As I mentioned in the Survey thread, I've been thinking about going ALL IN on Amazon KDP Select and today I decided to push the button. This is a multi week process, but basically means my books will first be taken down from sale on Smashwords, iTunes, and B&N. Once that is done I will enter Select and my books will be available through Prime lending and Amazon Unlimited for borrow. Other effects include my ability to advertise on Amazon and it means FM1 will no longer be free for purchase.
5. Select isn't forever and I might go "wide" in the future again, but for now trying this seems like the best course of action. My books will still be DMR free, so please feel free to convert to whatever digital file type you want as long as it is for your personal use.
6. Considering ordering some professional covers for the series from goonwrite with part of my FM5.5 loot. Would cost me abut 1k so still in the considering phase, well see if I pull the trigger in the next few months.
7. Eyes...wont...stop...itching...
8. Watched Force Awakens twice yesterday!
2. Sales for FM5.5 plummeted to not even 200 for March. Means all the super fans bought it and the casual fans said "nope". Because as we know, absolutely nothing interesting could ever happen in an intermediate novel and trying anything new must be punished and met with extreme skeptcism. Write the same novel over and over for the rest of your life and know your place, writer bitch!
3. I'm right in the middle of FM6, which is just the worst place to be as an author. The monster just feels invincible and untamed and all over the fucking place. Even having written 8 books, it still feels daunting to think I still have just as much to write as I already have, despite the fact I've thrown so much mental and emotional energy at it. My heart really goes out to first time authors scaling this mountain, experienced though I am I feel very low at the moment and question every life decision I've ever made that led me to this point, heh.
4. As I mentioned in the Survey thread, I've been thinking about going ALL IN on Amazon KDP Select and today I decided to push the button. This is a multi week process, but basically means my books will first be taken down from sale on Smashwords, iTunes, and B&N. Once that is done I will enter Select and my books will be available through Prime lending and Amazon Unlimited for borrow. Other effects include my ability to advertise on Amazon and it means FM1 will no longer be free for purchase.
5. Select isn't forever and I might go "wide" in the future again, but for now trying this seems like the best course of action. My books will still be DMR free, so please feel free to convert to whatever digital file type you want as long as it is for your personal use.
6. Considering ordering some professional covers for the series from goonwrite with part of my FM5.5 loot. Would cost me abut 1k so still in the considering phase, well see if I pull the trigger in the next few months.
7. Eyes...wont...stop...itching...
8. Watched Force Awakens twice yesterday!
March 15, 2016
Update, Plus FM5.5 Q&A Session
Just did my taxes, so I probably need a night or two to recover from the emotional trauma. That means you get my brief attention as I escape the full on Mad Scientist Mode I've been working under for the last three or four weeks. No, I don't know how long it lasted. Mad Scientist Mode gets a little weird after the first week and you start forgetting about what day of the week it is, much less how many weeks have gone by. It's very foggy. Foggier than Fresno, especially this year, since we've barely had any.
Needless to say, lots of writing has been done. It's over 100k and almost 400 pages so far. I always knew this one would be the BIG ONE, both in size and scope. Unlike with FM5 which had a lot of emotional baggage to clear up before we could get to the CRAZY, FM6 hits the nitro at page 1 and doesn't stop. Its twists are taken hard, with metal grinding the wall and wheels spinning for traction. Just about every question readers could have regarding the world have been at least partially filled in. Val's in it. So's Ceinwyn. And a billion others. Some new Artificers join the fray and old ones are expanded, including Guild Master Massey.
Yup...and to think I'm not even at the halfway point yet. King Henry won't enjoy the halfway point...
School Story...I'd say it's the second best school story after the one in FM3. Someone already kicked the bucket and there will be more to follow. It won't be surprising to anyone who has paid attention to hints that have been given in the Mainline but it will be memorable.
Usually I downplay this stuff. Try to not get your hopes up, but...it's a fucking insane book. The only question is if I can do it all justice. So far, so good, I think, but you'll be the final arbiter as always. If you survive reading it, that is; given all the mind explosions you'll be undertaking, some of you might not. I fully expect some of you to even spike your Kindle into the ground once you finish it. Not from frustration, but from a giant "hell yeah!"
That. Fucking. Good.
How fucking good?
Too early to tease?
And not even halfway done.
But writing fast, so don't worry. I keep up this pace and an end of the year release is very doable.
Of course we can't forget the latest member of the family, FM5.5. A runt, but everyone who has read it seems to have enjoyed it. So I'm glad for that at least. Admit it: more happened than you thought was going to, didn't it? Go ahead and consider this post a Q&A for FM5.5 and for the series as a whole, I might "read and find out" you, but trying doesn't hurt.
I also have a question for you, one I'm as yet undecided on: would you like more intermediate novels like "King Henry and the Three Little Trips"?
Financially it's in a very odd place. It sold, it made money, which my short stories never really did, but it also had an impact FAR below the last novel. As a writer I do like spending time expanding the world away from King Henry, but growing the fanbase really is everything, and FM5.5 only marginally did so. The real test might be to see how many fans on buying FM6 end up going back and grabbing FM5.5 once they realize they missed out.
Not that I'm thinking of writing ANOTHER intermediate novel between FM5 and FM6, but FM6.5 is possible. Even telling you the name would be spoiling well beyond the tease above, but "Boomworm" might be in the title. As well as another T-Bone story and something else from a POV that I think will have you screaming "holy fuckballs!". Less interconnected than FM5.5, but even more oomph on the Mainline. We'll see, and please give your opinions, since this will be happening well after FM6 is finished. Months and months and months away.
FM6 has my almost total devotion at the moment. Though I did have a short affair with Gush and finish a chapter in that book. I love that book. I love Ullie and Merr. I can't wait for you to meet them. I'll probably have another occasional affair with it going forward. Don't think "Sky-Island 1827-E" when you think Gush. Sky-Island was written as 300 pages of misery. You were supposed to feel like shit by the time you finished it. From the ratings it receives, I very much succeeded in my mission!
Gush is totally standalone, totally different world. It's FUN. It's an adventure. It's a fantasy. It's got a really cool magic system called Reservism, that's kind of something Sanderson-esqe meets the Law of Equivalent Exchange. It's awesome, trust me! Yes, I kicked you in the nethers with Sky-Island, but we'll have fun this time, I swear!
Well, I feel better now and pumped up for tackling another chunk of FM6 in the month ahead. So...please ask away!
March 18th edit: I'm going back in! So it might be a week or two before I get back for answers. Still ask by all means, just need to get back to King Henry and his latest perdiciment...may or may not be a ravaging horde involved!
There will also probably be some binge watching of Daredevil and maybe a trip to see Batman kick Superman's ass. Other than that, Mad Scientist Mode activiate!
Needless to say, lots of writing has been done. It's over 100k and almost 400 pages so far. I always knew this one would be the BIG ONE, both in size and scope. Unlike with FM5 which had a lot of emotional baggage to clear up before we could get to the CRAZY, FM6 hits the nitro at page 1 and doesn't stop. Its twists are taken hard, with metal grinding the wall and wheels spinning for traction. Just about every question readers could have regarding the world have been at least partially filled in. Val's in it. So's Ceinwyn. And a billion others. Some new Artificers join the fray and old ones are expanded, including Guild Master Massey.
Yup...and to think I'm not even at the halfway point yet. King Henry won't enjoy the halfway point...
School Story...I'd say it's the second best school story after the one in FM3. Someone already kicked the bucket and there will be more to follow. It won't be surprising to anyone who has paid attention to hints that have been given in the Mainline but it will be memorable.
Usually I downplay this stuff. Try to not get your hopes up, but...it's a fucking insane book. The only question is if I can do it all justice. So far, so good, I think, but you'll be the final arbiter as always. If you survive reading it, that is; given all the mind explosions you'll be undertaking, some of you might not. I fully expect some of you to even spike your Kindle into the ground once you finish it. Not from frustration, but from a giant "hell yeah!"
That. Fucking. Good.
How fucking good?
Too early to tease?
Ceinwyn closed her eyes, the first person to recognize the magnitude of what I had done. In the moment they opened, they had never seemed more all knowing, more ageless, or more omnipotent. “I greet you, Glassbreaker.”That. Fucking. Good.
And not even halfway done.
But writing fast, so don't worry. I keep up this pace and an end of the year release is very doable.
Of course we can't forget the latest member of the family, FM5.5. A runt, but everyone who has read it seems to have enjoyed it. So I'm glad for that at least. Admit it: more happened than you thought was going to, didn't it? Go ahead and consider this post a Q&A for FM5.5 and for the series as a whole, I might "read and find out" you, but trying doesn't hurt.
I also have a question for you, one I'm as yet undecided on: would you like more intermediate novels like "King Henry and the Three Little Trips"?
Financially it's in a very odd place. It sold, it made money, which my short stories never really did, but it also had an impact FAR below the last novel. As a writer I do like spending time expanding the world away from King Henry, but growing the fanbase really is everything, and FM5.5 only marginally did so. The real test might be to see how many fans on buying FM6 end up going back and grabbing FM5.5 once they realize they missed out.
Not that I'm thinking of writing ANOTHER intermediate novel between FM5 and FM6, but FM6.5 is possible. Even telling you the name would be spoiling well beyond the tease above, but "Boomworm" might be in the title. As well as another T-Bone story and something else from a POV that I think will have you screaming "holy fuckballs!". Less interconnected than FM5.5, but even more oomph on the Mainline. We'll see, and please give your opinions, since this will be happening well after FM6 is finished. Months and months and months away.
FM6 has my almost total devotion at the moment. Though I did have a short affair with Gush and finish a chapter in that book. I love that book. I love Ullie and Merr. I can't wait for you to meet them. I'll probably have another occasional affair with it going forward. Don't think "Sky-Island 1827-E" when you think Gush. Sky-Island was written as 300 pages of misery. You were supposed to feel like shit by the time you finished it. From the ratings it receives, I very much succeeded in my mission!
Gush is totally standalone, totally different world. It's FUN. It's an adventure. It's a fantasy. It's got a really cool magic system called Reservism, that's kind of something Sanderson-esqe meets the Law of Equivalent Exchange. It's awesome, trust me! Yes, I kicked you in the nethers with Sky-Island, but we'll have fun this time, I swear!
Well, I feel better now and pumped up for tackling another chunk of FM6 in the month ahead. So...please ask away!
March 18th edit: I'm going back in! So it might be a week or two before I get back for answers. Still ask by all means, just need to get back to King Henry and his latest perdiciment...may or may not be a ravaging horde involved!
There will also probably be some binge watching of Daredevil and maybe a trip to see Batman kick Superman's ass. Other than that, Mad Scientist Mode activiate!
March 11, 2016
On Tablet Quick Notes
Still alive.Writing like crazy, already at 30k for the month.Have been avoiding Internet to stay in Mad Scientist mode.Even finished the second chapter for GUSH, holy fuckballs!Feel like FM6 is about 40% done at the moment so readjusted estimate up to 240k. Unlike with FM5, I knew this one would be epic, so no worries. It is epic, trust me. Revelations, reunions, and reveals almost EVERY chapter so far. Having insane amounts of fun writing it and the shit hasn't even hit the fan yet.FM5.5 sold about 800 copies so far. Less than half of what FM5 did, but much higher than the shorts, so win and lose on that one. If you told me I would be slightly unhappy with 800 copies sold 3 years ago, I would have laughed at you, but here we are.Please tell fellow fans about FM5.5, really not looking forward to the "what do you mean blah happened?" Crowd come FM6 release. Also, reviews, they do help. Thanks to everyone who has written one so far!House of Cards Season 4, so good!New Hearthstone expansion!Will probably write more detailed update later this month, plus maybe do FM5.5 Q&A when I regrettably have to get back to real life thanks to the IRS.Don't get too wasted on St. Patrick's day!
February 1, 2016
FM5.5 is Out!
As usual the old WOW adage holds that you won't get the last item for your quest until you complain to your guild about drop rates. So, the second I went to get some sleep after that long night and morning, and sent an email to Amazon, of course "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" started finally going through the system like it was supposed to.
But, enough of that...new book! Is out!
Coverage:
Blurbage:
King Henry and the Three Little Trips by Richard Raley on Amazon
King Henry and the Three Little Trips by Richard Raley on Amazon UK
King Henry and the Three Little Trips by Richard Raley on Smashwords
Enjoy! Have fun reading! I promise I'm working hard on FM6 for your next hit!
But, enough of that...new book! Is out!
Coverage:
Blurbage:
What started life as a small "vacation" project for Richard Raley became something more in the writing. Telling three interconnected stories taking place on the same day, two weeks after events in "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" this novel is a can't miss for fans of THE KING HENRY TAPES. Spending equal time with Tyson Bonnie, Eva Reti, and King Henry Price himself, KING HENRY AND THE THREE LITTLE TRIPS shows the fallout from the Days of Supernatural Exhibit in both the personal cost for our characters and the political cost for supernatural organizations worldwide as fear of the Curator spreads to even the Asylum itself.Linkage:
Read as Tyson Bonnie escorts Vicky Welf to the Coyote Nation compound, find out if Eva Reti can survive the anima experiment inflicted upon her, and follow King Henry as he returns to the Asylum seeking Plutarch's help.
The queue for the "Foul Mouth and the Artificial Court" roller-coaster begins here!
King Henry and the Three Little Trips by Richard Raley on Amazon
King Henry and the Three Little Trips by Richard Raley on Amazon UK
King Henry and the Three Little Trips by Richard Raley on Smashwords
Enjoy! Have fun reading! I promise I'm working hard on FM6 for your next hit!
Still Waiting for the Machines
So why isn't my new book out yet? I don't know. About 12 hours ago I submitted it to Amazon. Sometimes it can take awhile to get going, never this long for me, but awhile. So, it could just be a slowdown due to it being the 1st of the month or that it's Monday, I don't know. Ball is in Amazon's court. I've gone ahead and sent them an email, asking what's up. We'll see if that helps...of course, it can take up to 24 hours to get an answer from them, so...yeah.
Joy!
For now...I'm really tired guys. Been up all night and all morning. I'm going to sleep.
Sorry this has been frustrating for some of you (for me too!), but these things happen with modern technology. One of the great parts of ebook publishing is that I can have the book in your hands immediately without all that paper and printing nonsense, one of the bad parts is it's not yet an exact process. Last time it took a couple hours for my book to show up for sale, surprised the heck out of me and all of you got it earlier. This time...clock is still ticking.
Hopefully when I wake up this is figured out and you all have your copies.
But for now...so tired...must sleep...
Joy!
For now...I'm really tired guys. Been up all night and all morning. I'm going to sleep.
Sorry this has been frustrating for some of you (for me too!), but these things happen with modern technology. One of the great parts of ebook publishing is that I can have the book in your hands immediately without all that paper and printing nonsense, one of the bad parts is it's not yet an exact process. Last time it took a couple hours for my book to show up for sale, surprised the heck out of me and all of you got it earlier. This time...clock is still ticking.
Hopefully when I wake up this is figured out and you all have your copies.
But for now...so tired...must sleep...
January 29, 2016
3 Days Before FM5.5 Release Quick Notes!
1. "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" is very done, all the beta readers have returned their lists and the final version plus the cover are finished. I know you all LOVE to check for my books early in the system but I probably won't be putting this one through until midnight, so if you want to catch it, you'll have to stay up very late, like this vampire writer boy.
2. I got kind of bored working on the mainline of FM6 (as I'm known to do) so instead of just sitting around thinking about my problems with it, or working on another novel like Gush (like that will ever happen!), I switched over and started the school story instead. One of the things I did when writing FM5.5 was switching from POV to POV every few days and that really seemed to keep me focused on pumping out the pages, so I'm trying things this way again instead of doing all one, then the other.
3. 7 chapters are finished as drafts, six mainline, one school. I'm estimating I'll need 28 to finish the book, so there are 21 left to write. So far, so good.
4. Been watching through the West Wing on Netflix. Completely forgot how much I love that show. I don't think there's been a bad episode yet and I'm halfway through the second season.
5. Speaking of TV, they're making a TV show for "Altered Carbon". Holy shit is that awesome, one of my favorite books. Here's hoping "Heroes Die" gets it's due one day too!
6. Really need to get back to the theater to see Star Wars again...
7. Rain...more rain...even more rain...
8. Can't wait to see what you all think of the new book, mini book though it may be. Also can't wait to see if it sells like a book or a short story or...something else. Really hoping people don't skip it, it would be a mistake. So says all the beta readers! Who have already read it...neener neener.
2. I got kind of bored working on the mainline of FM6 (as I'm known to do) so instead of just sitting around thinking about my problems with it, or working on another novel like Gush (like that will ever happen!), I switched over and started the school story instead. One of the things I did when writing FM5.5 was switching from POV to POV every few days and that really seemed to keep me focused on pumping out the pages, so I'm trying things this way again instead of doing all one, then the other.
3. 7 chapters are finished as drafts, six mainline, one school. I'm estimating I'll need 28 to finish the book, so there are 21 left to write. So far, so good.
4. Been watching through the West Wing on Netflix. Completely forgot how much I love that show. I don't think there's been a bad episode yet and I'm halfway through the second season.
5. Speaking of TV, they're making a TV show for "Altered Carbon". Holy shit is that awesome, one of my favorite books. Here's hoping "Heroes Die" gets it's due one day too!
6. Really need to get back to the theater to see Star Wars again...
7. Rain...more rain...even more rain...
8. Can't wait to see what you all think of the new book, mini book though it may be. Also can't wait to see if it sells like a book or a short story or...something else. Really hoping people don't skip it, it would be a mistake. So says all the beta readers! Who have already read it...neener neener.
January 18, 2016
"Home is Where the Crazy Is" Sample (FM5.5 King Henry Chapter)
As promised! Usual caveats apply, copyright, link back here, old unedited file because I'm too lazy to transfer the new one from my writing laptop to my main computer before release day, yada yada! Enjoy
***
“Your tits start scraping on the ground yet, you old bag?” King Henry answered the door, thinking it must have been the Lady despite Plutarch’s insistence otherwise.
Who else would visit Plutarch at that hour?
Who else would visit Plutarch period?
Only it wasn’t the Lady.
It was a delighted Miranda Daniels.
At some point in their tumultuous relationship the Ginger Nemesis had ripped the stick out of her ass, started having sex, and even talked about it . . . without blushing! You had to embarrass her to get her to blush . . . and it was harder than ever to embarrass her . . . fucking awful! Ever since, she’d been the one to gross out King Henry with the fact that pale, freckled disgusting ginger she might be, but she was just as much of a sexual being as anyone else.
And King Henry had just thrown a hanging fastball. “Don’t,” he begged.
Unable to help herself, Miranda leaned forward so she could whisper it, “Only if he’s particularly rough and only if the room is carpeted.”
King Henry would’ve clawed out his eyeballs, but the problem was with his overactive imagination giving him a quick mental image. “For fuck’s sake . . . I’m not even over the hairy strawberry text you sent me yet!”
“Well, I’m not over all the times you drunk dialed me to moan about Valentine,” Miranda pointed out, “so I guess we’re even.”
He got sheepish for once. “Yeah, not the best week of my life.”
“I did warn you,” Miranda pointed out some more. It was one of her favorite thing to do, especially to King Henry.
“Stupid me, I figured you were just telling me not to be an asshole like usual.”
Miranda grinned again. “Oh, I accepted that you would always be an asshole a long time ago.” Her expression softened some. “Both of you are very far from normal, King Henry. Valentine’s been told by just about everyone for her whole life that’s she’s special, so she doesn’t want to waste it . . . even on you.”
“Yeah . . . I don’t blame her . . . much.”
“That’s right, you have the Ceinwyn Dale Broke Us Up theory . . . I think I heard it four or five times, each time with a different reason for why she was doing it.”
“Junior!” Plutarch called from the kitchen, still grouchy. “I’m fine with you staying the night, but if you try to have sex with a woman in my spare bed again I’m throwing both of you out on your naked asses this time!”
Miranda and King Henry stared at each other. Brown as the deepest earth and green like moss rippling in a fierce Irish wind. “Don’t,” King Henry begged again.
Her lips quirked a bit, but she relented on whispering about her own freckled butt, instead going with. “We both know I’ve seen what you have to offer and would never partake.”
“Stop reminded me of all the stupid shit I’ve been through while you’re at it.”
“It’s hard . . . it was a bunch of stupid shit. Just since you graduated . . . if you want me to go back to school then . . . wow, I might need a couple books.”
“About one-hundred sessions with a tape recorder actually,” King Henry murmured.
“What was that?” Miranda asked inquisitively.
Fuck me, I need to burn those tapes before she finds them . . . her or Val . . . or Annie B . . . or Isabel . . . Isabel will probably make a dildo out of them or something freaky as shit.
“Junior?!?” Plutarch called to save him.
“What?” King Henry called back.
“Who is it, you numbskull?!?”
“It’s Miranda Daniels here to torture me.”
“Who?”
“Redwind!”
“Oh!”
Miranda looked confused; it wasn’t an expression King Henry was used to seeing on her face.
“Redwind?”
“It’s your fairy title.”
“I have a fairy title?”
“He talks to them more than he talks to humans,” King Henry explained.
“I have a fairy title?”
“Every Ultra has a fairy title.”
“I have a fairy title and it’s Redwind?”
“It could be worse . . . Pocket’s is Fernthrower . . . I helped.”
“Do you know what it’s like to have your hair color as your defining personal characteristic for your entire life?” Miranda complained.
“Nope . . . no idea at all,” King Henry deadpanned.
“You’re not thatshort,” Miranda said, “you grew out of it.”
“Could dye your hair . . . like, black maybe. Be a Goth. Can’t do anything about the freckles though . . . or the hairy strawberry.”
“Oh, that was just a joke,” Miranda informed, “I’m bald as can be down there.”
Again King Henry considered how to tear his brain out of his head. “If you’ve finished tormenting me, I really need to get back to tricking Plutarch into helping me make a golem.”
“That’s illegal, King Henry!” Miranda regressed.
“Only if you put a fairy in it.”
“Also, I didn’t come all the way across the school just to annoy you. You don’t rate that highly on my list, thank you very much.”
“That’s good, because I’d need to be drunker than when I drunk dialed you to even consider making out with you, much less bumping uglies. It might be shaved, but in my heart I’d know the ginger pubes were in there just waiting to sneak out and infect me.”
Her hands found her hips in a bit of indignation. “We both know that if we bumped uglies I’d be the one worried about getting infected.”
“Why does everyone think I caught something from Isabel?”
“Because Isabel has plenty of crazy to spare and syphilis would be the least of it.”
“If I knew you would get so annoying over the Redwind thing I never would’ve brought it up. Although I’m beginning to think it’s not about your hair and is about how you’re always on your period. Menstrual fluids blowing in the wind!”
She slapped him.
He blinked.
“Sorry!” Miranda squeaked. “Force of habit!”
“Yeah . . . well, guess I overstepped,” King Henry found himself apologizing. “And Redwind ain’t so bad . . . I kind of like it.”
Miranda forced her hand down. “What are you called?”
“The Dirt King.”
She stared.
“I know . . . it’s awesome. Hey, maybe I can put in a word for you and we can get it changed?”
Now she shivered. “No thank you; once was enough with you and your fairies.”
“About that . . .” He motioned for her to leave.
“Did the sentence where I mentioned that I wasn’t just here to tease you just go right over your head?” she reminded him.
“I’m busy. Tell whoever it is that I’ll talk to them tomorrow . . . unless it’s Ceinwyn and she can still fuck off.”
“It’s the Lady,” Miranda said as King Henry closed the door in her face. “You can’t say ‘no’ to her!”
“I am!” he yelled at the door.
“I’m supposed to lead you into the bowels of Admin, into the restricted sections!” she tried again.
“Fuck me,” King Henry growled as he yanked the door back open.
Miranda smiled at him. “Curiosity will get you killed one day.”
“Yeah, so I hear . . . that or my big mouth, right?”
***
Two weeks from release!
***
“Your tits start scraping on the ground yet, you old bag?” King Henry answered the door, thinking it must have been the Lady despite Plutarch’s insistence otherwise.
Who else would visit Plutarch at that hour?
Who else would visit Plutarch period?
Only it wasn’t the Lady.
It was a delighted Miranda Daniels.
At some point in their tumultuous relationship the Ginger Nemesis had ripped the stick out of her ass, started having sex, and even talked about it . . . without blushing! You had to embarrass her to get her to blush . . . and it was harder than ever to embarrass her . . . fucking awful! Ever since, she’d been the one to gross out King Henry with the fact that pale, freckled disgusting ginger she might be, but she was just as much of a sexual being as anyone else.
And King Henry had just thrown a hanging fastball. “Don’t,” he begged.
Unable to help herself, Miranda leaned forward so she could whisper it, “Only if he’s particularly rough and only if the room is carpeted.”
King Henry would’ve clawed out his eyeballs, but the problem was with his overactive imagination giving him a quick mental image. “For fuck’s sake . . . I’m not even over the hairy strawberry text you sent me yet!”
“Well, I’m not over all the times you drunk dialed me to moan about Valentine,” Miranda pointed out, “so I guess we’re even.”
He got sheepish for once. “Yeah, not the best week of my life.”
“I did warn you,” Miranda pointed out some more. It was one of her favorite thing to do, especially to King Henry.
“Stupid me, I figured you were just telling me not to be an asshole like usual.”
Miranda grinned again. “Oh, I accepted that you would always be an asshole a long time ago.” Her expression softened some. “Both of you are very far from normal, King Henry. Valentine’s been told by just about everyone for her whole life that’s she’s special, so she doesn’t want to waste it . . . even on you.”
“Yeah . . . I don’t blame her . . . much.”
“That’s right, you have the Ceinwyn Dale Broke Us Up theory . . . I think I heard it four or five times, each time with a different reason for why she was doing it.”
“Junior!” Plutarch called from the kitchen, still grouchy. “I’m fine with you staying the night, but if you try to have sex with a woman in my spare bed again I’m throwing both of you out on your naked asses this time!”
Miranda and King Henry stared at each other. Brown as the deepest earth and green like moss rippling in a fierce Irish wind. “Don’t,” King Henry begged again.
Her lips quirked a bit, but she relented on whispering about her own freckled butt, instead going with. “We both know I’ve seen what you have to offer and would never partake.”
“Stop reminded me of all the stupid shit I’ve been through while you’re at it.”
“It’s hard . . . it was a bunch of stupid shit. Just since you graduated . . . if you want me to go back to school then . . . wow, I might need a couple books.”
“About one-hundred sessions with a tape recorder actually,” King Henry murmured.
“What was that?” Miranda asked inquisitively.
Fuck me, I need to burn those tapes before she finds them . . . her or Val . . . or Annie B . . . or Isabel . . . Isabel will probably make a dildo out of them or something freaky as shit.
“Junior?!?” Plutarch called to save him.
“What?” King Henry called back.
“Who is it, you numbskull?!?”
“It’s Miranda Daniels here to torture me.”
“Who?”
“Redwind!”
“Oh!”
Miranda looked confused; it wasn’t an expression King Henry was used to seeing on her face.
“Redwind?”
“It’s your fairy title.”
“I have a fairy title?”
“He talks to them more than he talks to humans,” King Henry explained.
“I have a fairy title?”
“Every Ultra has a fairy title.”
“I have a fairy title and it’s Redwind?”
“It could be worse . . . Pocket’s is Fernthrower . . . I helped.”
“Do you know what it’s like to have your hair color as your defining personal characteristic for your entire life?” Miranda complained.
“Nope . . . no idea at all,” King Henry deadpanned.
“You’re not thatshort,” Miranda said, “you grew out of it.”
“Could dye your hair . . . like, black maybe. Be a Goth. Can’t do anything about the freckles though . . . or the hairy strawberry.”
“Oh, that was just a joke,” Miranda informed, “I’m bald as can be down there.”
Again King Henry considered how to tear his brain out of his head. “If you’ve finished tormenting me, I really need to get back to tricking Plutarch into helping me make a golem.”
“That’s illegal, King Henry!” Miranda regressed.
“Only if you put a fairy in it.”
“Also, I didn’t come all the way across the school just to annoy you. You don’t rate that highly on my list, thank you very much.”
“That’s good, because I’d need to be drunker than when I drunk dialed you to even consider making out with you, much less bumping uglies. It might be shaved, but in my heart I’d know the ginger pubes were in there just waiting to sneak out and infect me.”
Her hands found her hips in a bit of indignation. “We both know that if we bumped uglies I’d be the one worried about getting infected.”
“Why does everyone think I caught something from Isabel?”
“Because Isabel has plenty of crazy to spare and syphilis would be the least of it.”
“If I knew you would get so annoying over the Redwind thing I never would’ve brought it up. Although I’m beginning to think it’s not about your hair and is about how you’re always on your period. Menstrual fluids blowing in the wind!”
She slapped him.
He blinked.
“Sorry!” Miranda squeaked. “Force of habit!”
“Yeah . . . well, guess I overstepped,” King Henry found himself apologizing. “And Redwind ain’t so bad . . . I kind of like it.”
Miranda forced her hand down. “What are you called?”
“The Dirt King.”
She stared.
“I know . . . it’s awesome. Hey, maybe I can put in a word for you and we can get it changed?”
Now she shivered. “No thank you; once was enough with you and your fairies.”
“About that . . .” He motioned for her to leave.
“Did the sentence where I mentioned that I wasn’t just here to tease you just go right over your head?” she reminded him.
“I’m busy. Tell whoever it is that I’ll talk to them tomorrow . . . unless it’s Ceinwyn and she can still fuck off.”
“It’s the Lady,” Miranda said as King Henry closed the door in her face. “You can’t say ‘no’ to her!”
“I am!” he yelled at the door.
“I’m supposed to lead you into the bowels of Admin, into the restricted sections!” she tried again.
“Fuck me,” King Henry growled as he yanked the door back open.
Miranda smiled at him. “Curiosity will get you killed one day.”
“Yeah, so I hear . . . that or my big mouth, right?”
***
Two weeks from release!
