Quinn McDonald's Blog, page 93

Making Mistakes and Problem Solving

“Defining the problem is the last step in problem solving.” I thought it was an easy question on the pre-test I give my Back To Work students, but it’s not. It’s the one True/False question that is most often answered incorrectly.

One way to fix a road. Or, tar dribble.

When asked what they think the first step in problem solving is (OK, I encourage them to make stuff up) I hear, “Suggesting something—anything.” “Asking what the boss wants.” “Keep your mouth shut, if you suggest it, you have to do it.”

I feel their pain. It’s hard to get to the solution if you don’t know what the problem is. And it’s hard to nail down the problem. Which makes “defining the problem” the first step in problem solving. You can’t solve it if it’s a moving target.

The way many problems show up is when we make a mistake. I’ve never met anyone who wanted to screw up–not in the studio, not at work, not in front of our friends. But we do. Often on cell phone cameras and YouTube. Most mistakes are actions we wish we could take back the instant we know they are a mistake. And we can’t.

And that’s why we need to fix them ourselves. Not rush to the boss, our mom, our best friend, our coach, teacher or mentor and say, “Tell me what to do.” Admittedly, it sounds great to run for cover.

The person who does the work, screws up, recognizes the screw-up is also the best person to determine the solution. Notice I’m not saying “have all the answers,” or even “Do the fixing as punishment,” but to create the solution. Because when you screw up, you know how it happened. Which is defining the problem in a glaringly clear way.

My answer to “What do I do now?” comes in a matched set of three:

1. Know what went wrong. Make sure it is the real cause, not the loud one. When I dropped a tiny piece of sodium into water (pure sodium, not salt, which is sodium chloride) there was a big bang that broke the beaker and made a lot of smoke. What went wrong was not the bang, the fright or the mess, but the fact that I didn’t know how quickly the sodium would react with the water, releasing that damn explosive hydrogen gas.

[image error]

2. Create a solution. There will be more than one. There will be more than one right one. In my case, it was understanding what happened, gratitude that we wore safety goggles, thinking maybe the instructor should demo this instead of letting us mis-judge how small “a small piece of sodium” is.

3. Tell your boss by accepting responsibility and suggesting a solution. Accepting responsibility helps keep your credibility, which is important. It also acknowledges the next step: that you know what to do. This also applies to artists, working alone in the studio. It’s generally not the fault of the watercolor or paper, stencil or sewing machine. Once you admit to yourself (that’s the boss, right?) what you did, you can move on to deciding how not to do that again. Or doing something different.

In the case of a business mistake, you want to be the one to suggest the solution, because you have the best information. You can also suggest a solution that will have a good outcome, whether it’s asking for help,  or asking that your solution be considered first. Leave the answer to the boss, and you may not like the solution, think it may not work, and have to do it anyway.

Note: The winners have been chosen for the Raw Art Journaling and Monsoon Papers giveaway.  Congratulations Melydia on winning the book, and Laurie Morris and Lisa from Artist Cellar have won the paper. Thanks to all for participating!

—Quinn McDonald has made enough mistakes to figure out how to solve them practically and in a way that saves you from stomping on your own ego.

Filed under: Creativity, In My Life Tagged: creativity coach, fixing a mistake, making a mistake, solving a problem

Putting Out the Effort

New book: ready, set, go! I sat at the screen for an hour. Nothing. I wrote 1,000 words. None worth keeping. I wrote another 300. Lame. Yep, even writers who have been working at it for a long time are not a faucet that you crank on and the words come pouring out. There are still rough spots. Still scree that you slide on and are afraid you’ll fall.

I’d love to tell you exactly how I got out of it, but I can’t. Because I’m still stuck. Tomorrow is another start. Today, it just didn’t work.

Strength is required to work the rings.

So I watched the Olympics. Watched a swimmer get disqualified, then re-instated. Watched a male gymnast take a run and get it just right. Take another run and mess it up. Watched another one jump up on the high bars and do everything just right, then slip and fall, hard. You could hear his breath being slapped out of him.

Even with years of practice, these swimmers and runners jump in, unsure of what is going to happen. The difference between winning and losing can be 1/100ths of a second. That’s not even noticeable, but it can be the difference between standing on the podium and never being mentioned.

Without knowing what will happen, which side of the 1/100th of a second they will land, the athletes still run, jump, dive. Knowing that years of practice may not make perfect, they still show up and do their best this day.

That’s all they can do is show up and give it their best combination of effort and skill. That’s a lesson I can understand.

–Quinn McDonald is a writer and creativity coach who knows that books are not written, but re-written. But to re-write, she has to do the writing first.

Filed under: In My Life, The Writing Life Tagged: creativity coach, inner critic, writing

A Year Ago Today. . . (and a giveaway)

It’s been a year since Raw Art Journaling was launched. A year ago tonight I stood at Changing Hands bookstore in Tempe and did what I had wanted to do since I was eight years old–introduced a book I hoped would help people try out their creativity.

Pinna Joseph, from Changing Hands, introducing Raw Art Journaling a year ago.

What I loved most of all was all of the loving and generous people who decided not to stay home, but to show up and smile and celebrate the book with me. Tonia Davenport (now Jenny), who edited the book and encouraged me to be unconventional; Lynn Trochelman, an incredible cheerleader and art instigator; Rosaland Hannibal, a spiritual and creative powerhouse and explorer who experimented fearlessly. Bonnie Barnard, whose brainchild Creative Mastermind group introduced me to an incredible group of women who became friends. I’m grateful to everyone who showed up, stood in line, purchased a book and shared encouraging and loving wishes. Particularly the Arizona Calligraphers and Maverick Quilters.

The books at Changing Hands bookstore

Some of the contributors to the book came, too. Journey Cole, Barbara Hagerty, Rita Ackerman.

Pinna Joseph, marketing director at Changing Hands, and one of the first friends I made in Phoenix, introduced the book. Cooking Man made food for the party.

In the past year, I have heard from so many people who purchased the book, tried the exercises, and fell in love with meaning making. Wonderful emails that proved that art transforms and mends. I also received a few emails from cranky people who didn’t like the book. That’s OK. It was not ever meant to please everyone. I’m so pleased the book did so well,  is still doing well, and I’d like to thank everyone who bought the book and discovered a part of themselves that made meaning and had fun.

Samples of Monsoon Papers in a variety of colors

To celebrate, I’m giving away a copy of Raw Art Journaling and, for those of you who own it, a chance at one of two pieces of Monsoon Paper. Just leave a comment and let me know if you want the book (signed), or a piece of Monsoon Paper (let me know if you want it in tones of blue or brown.)

The drawing will happen on Saturday evening, July 28, 2012 at midnight Eastern Daylight Time.

Thanks again for an incredible experience!

—Quinn McDonald is working on her next book, The Hero’s Art Journal: Mixed Media Conversations with the Inner Critic. She hopes to be doing giveaways, classes, and an incredible book launch sometime late next year. She hopes to meet more of you then.

Filed under: In My Life, Raw Art Journaling, The Writing Life Tagged: giveaway, Raw Art Journaling, the Hero's Art Journal

Too Much of a Good Thing

“Plant in full sun,” the tag on the plant said. It added that I could trellis it, but keep the trellis in the sun. The plant was a Manzanita and I purchased it at a local big-box hardware store.

Because it was the first year, I didn’t plant it in full sun. I planted the Manzanita in a big pot with a small trellis and put it where it got the morning sun and was shaded from the harsher sun of the afternoon.

During May and early June, the Manzanita bloomed constantly. By the end of June, the edges of the leaves were beginning to turn brown. Too much sun. I pulled the pot under the patio overhang.

Through July, the plant slowly died, from the branch tips in. It was simply too hot. Not just too much sun, but too much heat. For all the years I lived in Connecticut, there was no such thing as too much sun, but in the Southwest, too much sun and too much heat is what we call June, July and August.  As far as plants go, there can be too much of a good thing.

It turns out that Manzanitas grow at 3,000 feet to 5,000 feet, which was not mentioned on the label.  (Phoenix is about 1,000 feet) The big-box store probably should not have sold the plant; I think few people buy them here and then drive them North to plant.

But it did remind me that any living thing can suffer from too much of a good thing–too much sun for plants, or too much water. For people, we can suffer from too much free time, too much work, too much anger, too much stimulation.

It’s not just a matter of balance, it’s a matter of knowing what, exactly, it takes to let you thrive. Even if others around you are thriving, they may be the high-altitude types and you aren’t. Demanding the flexibility to thrive under every condition is more than most people can deliver. But it’s up to you to figure that out, the people who surround you will assume if they find you in their lives, you will be able to thrive.

You will need to establish your own limits, and then let others know. “Grow where you are planted” might be a great proverb, but it may be wiser to plant yourself where you can thrive.

–-Quinn McDonald is a writer and creativity coach who helps people become brave enough to know what it takes to thrive.

Filed under: Coaching, In My Life, Nature, Inside and Out Tagged: creativity coaching, wisdom from nature

Gratitude and Guns

Because I live in Arizona, I see a lot of people packin’ heat. Carrying guns in hip and shoulder holsters. Here, it’s fine to conceal-carry. Or open carry. I see guns in the library, bars (yes, places where you go to drink and let down your inhibitions), and movie theaters. Gives the store name  “Target” a whole new meaning.  My classes are gun-free zones, and when I announce that, some people argue and some go stow their guns in their cars. Life can be weird here in the West.

Walt Whitman from JottedLines.com

When I ask my coaching clients to keep a gratitude journal, I start slowly. It’s hard to be grateful when you are downtrodden, angry, restless or a victim of your own life. Gratitude is hard. It makes you responsible for your own self, your own joy. And when you are busy eating worms, it sounds annoying, not helpful.

Gratitude journals do something very ancient and very interesting. They base their success on the sure knowledge that we create our own reality.  What we look at, we find. What we find, we become.

Walt Whitman had it exactly right when he said:

” There was a child went forth every day;

And the first object he looked upon, that object he became;

And that object became part of him for the day, or a certain part of the day, or for many years, or stretching cycles of years.”

So the gratitude journal serves the purpose, not of making you grateful, but of making you aware that you can allow yourself to be grateful. Once you have done that, you begin to look for things to put in the journal. You go gratitude hunting. Things that are mildly gratitude-producing become grist for your gratitude. You find what you look for.

To a hammer, everything looks like a nail. (It’s often attributed to Abraham Kaplan and slightly reworded, to Abraham Maslow, the developer of that hierarchy of needs, Maslow’s pyramid.) We use the tool we have. If the tool is gratitude, we look at our life trying to figure out how to be grateful, even if it’s not obvious, even if it’s hard.

Now replace that gratitude journal with a gun. Concealed carry.

When a gun is strapped to your hip, you are ready to “protect” yourself, your ideas, your beliefs, your world. That gun becomes part of your reality.  And you begin to look for reasons to use it. Without a gun, armed only with your pen and journal, you have to look for a way to reason with someone who argues with you. You have to be willing to lose, to walk away, to concede a point. You have to learn patience, tact, honesty, compassion.

If you have a gun, everything looks like a challenge. You want to use the tool you carry. You look for threats. No one goes to the range to practices “shoot to scare.”

Be careful what you choose to arm yourself with. You think it’s hard to withdraw words said in anger, it’s a lot harder to take back a bullet.

–-Quinn McDonald is a user of words. She does not own a gun, although she has qualified as a sharpshooter in years gone by.

Filed under: In My Life, The Writing Life Tagged: gratitude, guns for protection, owning a gun, the word is mightier than the gun

Who Owns the Inner Critic?

Hardly had I announced the new book would deal with the inner critic, when the emails started to come in. People letting me know that there was someone else teaching a class on the inner critic, another one saying that they had taken a class with someone who had a chapter in her book about the inner critic. Still another who reminded me that “inner critic” belonged to Julia Cameron, Martha Beck, and a host of other people who have used the term some where, some time.

Big, deep breath. I know. The term “inner critic” is a generic term for that voice we all have that yammers about what we are missing, what we don’t have, and how we are not enough.

I did not invent the inner critic–he (or she) comes built-in to your brain, courtesy hundreds of  thousands of years of evolution. I did not invent the name “Inner Critic,” Byron Brown has used it since he wrote Soul Without Shame, in 1998. Before that, Hal Stone wrote Embracing Your Inner Critic in 1993, and Matthew Ignoffo wrote Coping With Your Inner Critic in 1989. So, the term has been around a while.

But let’s scratch the itch, here. I know about copyright, but copyright doesn’t preclude me  (or you, or 300 yodeling unicorns) from writing a book about the inner critic. The inner critic is a concept, an idea, and ideas don’t qualify for copyright.

Learn to make this apple pie, complete with micro-lattice from EvilMadScientist.com: http://www.evilmadscientist.com/2008/...

Imagine what it would be like if there were one book on apple pie, or, for that matter, one recipe for apple pie. One, and done. Maybe, if you are generous, one open pie, one lattice pie, one deep-dish, and one streusel.  Or one book on journaling, one book on watercolor. Libraries would be tiny. My bookcases would take up a lot less of my house,  and Cooking Man’s collection (now numbering close to 300 cookbooks) would be down to just one.

Incidentally, here is Country Home’s recipe that claims to be the best apple pie ever. And here are 15 more “best” apple pie recipes from Country Living. The one with salted pecan topping looks pretty good. And the orange-spiced, streusel-topped, cream-enriched Dutch apple pie looks yummy, too. And while I’m on a tear, streusel doesn’t rhyme with doozle, it comes from the German word for scatter (streuen) and it rhymes with Roy-zell. I think I’m done now.

Those three books I mentioned above deal with the inner critic, just as mine will. But each offers a different method, as mine will. And then there is the idea that a lot of books on the same topic allows a lot of perspectives. A lot of solutions. A lot of right answers. Because there is not only more than one answer, there is more than one right answer. And I’m looking to add another.

–-Quinn McDonald is writing again. But she’s got her mind on apple pie.

Filed under: Creativity, Food & Recipes, Links, resources, idea boosts Tagged: apple pie, copyright, creativity coach, inner critic

The Needle Dream

Here is the dream I have had three times in the last two weeks:

I am sitting at the laptop, getting to write something–nothing clear in the dream.

Next to the computer is a tapestry needle, threaded. Like all tapestry needles, it’s bigger and heavier than a sewing needle. I pick up the needle, and notice the thread is not regular thread, it’s words. There is a long thread of words on the needle. I don’t know what they say, but I know what I am supposed to do.

Needle and words. ©Quinn McDonald pen, ink, watercolor. 2012.

I pick up the needle, and carefully begin to stitch it though the computer screen, where the words begin to stitch themselves into a story. Somehow, the story seems to be three dimensional, as if I were stitching an event.

As the needle comes up toward me, I notice is it covered with uneven, etched letters. Looking closely, I see they say “mender.”

[In waking life, I have always shrunk from being a healer. Others in my coaching class talked about being healers, of having sacred powers, of being shamans.  They were certain they had been called. I did not doubt them, but was not one of them. I did not feel worthy to heal, or called.]

In the dream, Paul Simon’s song, “Fakin’ It” begins to play.  Part of the lyrics are, “I’m such a dubious soul,

And a walk in the garden

Wears me down.

Tangled in the fallen vines,

Pickin’ up the punch lines . . .

This feeling of fakin’ it–

I still haven’t shaken it.

Prior to this lifetime

I surely was a tailor, look at me…

(“Good morning, Mr. Leitch.

Have you had a busy day?”)

I own the tailor’s face and hands.

I am the tailor’s face and hands . . .”

As the song plays, I continue to sew the story, and I am filled with the knowledge that I am not a healer, I am a mender. Fixing tears in the sky, rips in souls, gathering the frayed edges of unraveled lives. I cannot heal, my work leaves visible stitches, but it holds together. Knowing this comforts me in the dream, and i continue to stitch.

–Quinn McDonald is a writer and a creativity coach.

Filed under: Dreams, Raw Art Journaling, The Writing Life Tagged: creativity coaching, dreaming, mender

The Next Book

On Friday, I heard from North Light Books (a division of F+W Media) , the publisher of my book, Raw Art Journaling: Making Meaning, Making Art, with the good news. My book proposal was accepted and I’ll be writing another book!

Yes, I am excited beyond belief!

What’s the book about? The inner critic and you. Most of us face the inner critic, and know the constant message of lack and attack: “You aren’t good enough,” “You don’t know enough,” and “Other people will take what you have.” That inner critic.

Most people talk about ignoring the inner critic, throwing him/her out of the studio, or ignoring all the demolishing talk.

After doing a lot of research, I thought there might be a better way to deal with the draining emotions, the disappointment, the self-doubt.

If you have an inner critic, you also have inner strengths--maybe you are a great problem solver, or you can pull good ideas out of a hat like a magician pulls scarves. Maybe you have sharp critical thinking skills or can find your way out of your mental maze. All those strengths can be used to confront your inner critic.

Each one of those skills belongs to one of your inner heroes–and each one of us has different heroes. We don’t often use them, because we struggle so hard to get rid of the critic. Or distract, evade, or ignore the critic. No more.

Here’s a question to see if you access your inner hero: You take a test. You get a 98 percent. You immediately check to see what you got wrong, rather than spend a few seconds enjoying how many you got right. That’s you, feeding the ego of the inner critic.

The book will help you finding that inner hero who can confront the inner critic. And you are going to use intuitive art and deep writing skills to get there. The book will show you how. With lots of different techniques.

There are writing techniques and art techniques. None of them require special skills–that’s why it’s a how-to book. You already have enough and know enough–but the book will make it interesting to talk to your inner critic seriously.

I’ve been teaching classes already, and I’ll be teaching more classes, looking for your techniques and your art for the book. And yes, I’ll come teach your group if you want me to. Find between five and ten people, and we can probably make it work out. I’ll also be posting upcoming classes in a few days.

The working title? The Inner Hero Art Journal: Mixed Media Messages to Your Inner Critic. I hope you’ll join me in developing and trying out the book. Either in classes or here on the blog.

–Quinn McDonald is now officially working on her next book!

Filed under: Journal Pages, The Writing Life Tagged: creativity coaching, Inner critic book, QuinnCreative

Wise Words for Writers

 

Pine tree in Sedona, AZ © Quinn McDonald, all rights reserved. 2012

Pamela Wilson studies satsang–”a gathering of people to honor Truth, to rest from the conflict and confusion of the world, and take refuge in the Heart.“

What a better day to honor taking some refuge from the harsh and difficult world that is so difficult to understand. Often it is our past that fills us with despair, or the current news.

Pamela is a writer herself, and today a wisewoman friend, Donna McGuigan,  sent me this quote. It reached me exactly where I needed it, and I hope it brings you light and warmth, too.

“ I’m not in the don’t-touch-it school. Maybe it’s my Italian heritage. I call it Mediterranean satsang. I say, “Come here, poor little story!” If the story keeps coming back, it means it’s desperate for a little loving attention.

If you are always going, “Oh, it’s just story,” of course it’s going to renew its effort: “No, I’m not!”

If a certain situation continues to arise, just let it sit with you. See it as your devotee. Grant it the compassion to be able to sit with you. Say, “Yes, you are welcome here.” Even story. In the beginning it’s good to get firm with stories, because there are way too many of them. But it’s like Reader’s Digest; you have them condensed down to the top five issues, right?

Red rock in Sedona, AZ. © Quinn McDonald. All rights reserved. 2012

When you’re feeling strong, or if you have a friend to sit with, just sit in the silence until you’re soothed, until the body and brain are soothed, and then invite the story to come sit. It will start to activate the body, and then the brain will start to bring in strategies to fix it and try to help. So thank the brain, and then attend to what’s happening in the body. Stories have another function, other than bothering us. They’re designed to dissolve the defenses in the body. They’re like armor. So you sit with the issue, the upset, and see where it’s triggering in the body, and then just allow awareness to move into it and permeate the upset – like awareness has hands, and it’s soothing and loving.

What you’re doing is helping the body let go of the past. One of the ways the body creates release is by recreating something from the past in order to pull it out of the earth of the body. Otherwise it stays deep. This system of release is strange – almost reptilian, it’s so ancient. These bodies are from another time. Even though you get a fresh, new body every time, a lot of the defenses are recreated through thought. That’s why I say bring the story here. There’s no lack of brilliance in the design of either the body or the way it lets go, or even that this world is so harsh. Robert Adams used to call this the remedial planet, because when you really want freedom, this is where you come.

It’s sweet: the body asks for a blessing through its upset, its agitation. It’s invoking the Beloved, awareness-consciousness: “Please, master, come here. Please heal me.” And if it’s really frantic, then it will be sending out distress signals all the time. So it has another function: to awaken the Beloved. It awakens the satguru through its distress.

Ramana used to say, “I would follow a devotee into hell if need be.” So when hell or agitation arises in the body, it’s luring the satguru out of the heart. Everything is an invitation for the Buddha to awaken and bring peace, even to the body. It calls for the laying on of hands, the welcoming and soothing. Even doubt is asking for your love. Doubt is talking to you, saying, “Master, is this true?”

When you see your body and thought as your devotees, you have a completely different relationship with them. Where else are they going to go for truth?”

Filed under: Journal Pages, The Writing Life Tagged: creativity coaching, healing, pamela wilson, writing

The Thin Veneer of Anonymity

You see a post on Facebook that ticks you off. Hey, this is important, and this person should know they are wrong. You leave a sharp rebuttal. You are reading blogs and realize that this person said something you said better last week. So you leave a link to your blog. You discover a link to someone’s new blog or website, and you don’t like it, so you post a Tweet with the mistakes you found.

Why isn’t this successful when you are being authentic? You are showing up in the world exactly the way you are, so why isn’t that a good thing?

Because it’s hard to define yourself in 140 characters (on Twitter) or the line limit Facebook sets. You get to make a point, but it’s hard to see your intention. When we read Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter feeds, we react emotionally, we reply with the first thing we think. And while “telling it like it is” was great in the mid-’70s, times have changed. Children get away with saying what they think, because they are cute and forgivable. Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter are less forgiving. Your comments will be visible for years to come.

You are what you say in social media. And what you say may be interpreted as mean spirited by the reader because context is almost entirely missing from the posts we leave. We behave like Angry Birds–slingshotting our chirping, cackling thoughts at others, forgetting that the anonymity of the internet is also detrimental–we are as we appear, not as we know in our hearts we are.

You have to work harder to be authentic on social media sites. Few people check out your profile, most people read what you say and take it for who you are. The biggest problem on social media is the serious disconnect between how we want to show up in the world—our public persona—and who we are in real life, our essential self.

How do you close the gap?

1. Edit yourself. Write what you think, then pretend you are the receiver. Read your post before you make it public. Would you want this said to you? Even if you are right? A few edits for context may help. “In my experience,” or “I think” can change a post from universal proclamation to opinion. It’s still your opinion, but you are owning it.

2. Support more than fix. If people aren’t asking for help, don’t give it. Life in the office has made giving “feedback” one of our natural rights. Let’s be clear–no one likes to be told they are wrong, broken, or not enough. “Feedback” is the new “micromanaging” and it’s more fun when you are dishing it out than when you are spooning it up. Before you give your opinion, make sure you were asked for it. Don’t tell people how to improve, praise them for what they have done well.

You may not be an anonymous as you thought, even on the ‘net. A little old-fashioned etiquette won’t harm you–or your reputation.

3. Leave your guru-ness on your own site. Your social networking profile can show you as a guru, expert, leader, super-achiever or god(ess) of wisdom, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us mortals want your wisdom in our blog comments. Of course you can link your own site in your comment, but only if it meets all three of these criteria: It is highly relevant to the topic thread, you explain why it adds information (the fact you wrote it is not enough), it’s not linked to a site that’s a big ad for your own business.

4. Yes, you are being judged right now. When you post on a social media site, you are showing up the way you want to be seen. We used to dress up to go out; now we judge people by how they show up on blog comments. The people who are reading your posts may be potential customers, your next boss, your soul mate, the hiring manager, your minister, or your jury. Write to them.

5. Anonymous posts say a lot about you. The internet allows us to appear to be anything–a genius, gorgeous, clever, a sniper. My first boss said, “If you don’t want to sign you name to it, ask yourself why not?” When I teach, the evals that require a signature are generally useful and direct. The evals that don’t require a signature are harsher and show a lot more bitterness. Instructors know this. Anonymity isn’t permission to be cruel, it is a revelation of who you really are.

-–Quinn McDonald is a creativity coach who know about screwing up in social media.

Filed under: Coaching, Opinion, The Writing Life Tagged: anonymity and the internet, internet etiquette, social media etiquette rules, social network