Debra Anastasia's Blog, page 54
October 29, 2012
Crap, Something happened to your property during the hurricane!!
Last year we had a tree hit our house.
I wish future me could give scared, confused me some pointers. Because in this last year I've learned some shit that would've be helpful. This is assuming you and your people and pets made it though safe, you just have damage to deal with. If not, my sincere prayers go out to your and yours.
This post assumes you are coming out of wherever you were safely sheltered for the storm.
First, make sure it is safe before you enter. My husband and I went into our house with the tree still on top. It was stupid and unnecessary. Not one damn thing in my house was worth us taking that risk like a bunch of yahoo morons.
We thought a picture and a set of plates was worth the risk. We wanted to save something. The tree could have collapsed the house at any second. So screw it. Seriously. You're in shock and likely to make asshole decisions. You're talking, walking but things have altered who you are a little.
I don't know much about flooding, because although we had water damage it was from above, not below. My opinion on that is that water is some scary crap. Picture it as a huge, electric eel that wants to kill your ass. No possession is worth it. No not your wedding band, not your flat screen, nothing. So don't freaking go in. There will be people to help you with that and make educated decisions about when it is safe.
In the aftermath, you will have to make some fast decisions. Some of mine were good, some not so much.
Here’s my best advice: First save every receipt you have. Everything. Find a bag and stick all of the receipts in it. You will have time to note which ones matter later. Take pictures if it is safe to do so. Right down the mileage on your vehicle. (Later you may be compensated for gas/miles. I did not do this and wish I had.)
Call your insurance. Be prepared for a wait. Depending on your damage, you may be dealing with an out of state agent and and then another person or two later on. I started a daily journal of who I talked to and what their names were, and times we talked, but I did not continue it past the first month, I wish I had.
I was able later to staple the receipts from each day to the log I was keeping (Until I stopped.) Your insurance, if your policy allows, should be setting up all the situations you might need (assuming major damage, ask questions about small damage.) Rental place, contractor, etc. I did not know there was a company that my insurance hired to do these types of things. Now they were out of towners and might have set me up digs in a hard part of town, so don’t just blindly trust their choices.
Hare are some helpful questions, or at least a place to start:
1. What is my coverage?
2. How soon can you get me money to use for living outside of my house? ( I learned they will put this off for as long as possible and in check form which will require a waiting period for some banks to cash.) Don’t be embarrassed, clearly layout how this damage is effecting your weekly budget. They have ways to get you money sooner.
3. Make sure you know what part of your policy the money is coming from. I was given money that was ultimately out of my possession expenses.
4. Keep that log running, even if it’s messy, even if you miss days. It would have been so much better for me now if I had it.
5. Every person that calls you or that you call about damage and repairs, program them into your phone. You never know when you’ll need that number in the future.
6. Keep your receipts! I said it before and I will say it again. Keep them all. I wound up having huge zip lock bags holding mine.They are as good as cash becasue you can be reimbursed for some things.
7. Before hiring any contractor run their name and business name through your local judiciary search. You’d be shocked how much you can find out. Google their name, google their business, google their email and phone number. Each search should be separate) (Call or contact someone with power and a computer to do this for you if you can’t.) I'd have saved myself HUGE headaches had I done that.
8. Ask questions. My insurance dude was amazing. He answered every question. If he was out of office, his boss would deal with my crazy ass. Note the response in the log. Don't be shy, now is not the time.
9. You will not remember dates, times and facts like you think you will. At the end of this process I’ll have made easily 500 phone calls regarding different issues. The events, names and facts will blur. So stick them in your log.
10. Insurance claims are like blood in the water for sharks when it comes to criminals. A true, good contractor will be willing to give you references, show you pictures, and be willing to wait for you. Don’t be pressured into anything.
11. Some stuff has to move quick. We had to get the tree off our house ASAP. I didn’t have time to research. I went with the guy that answered his phone and showed up. Cut yourself some freaking slack, do you best.
12. Speaking of which, while your reading this pull up a number for a tree person or two and a Serv-pro type company so you have those handy. Just web surfing on my phone in the aftermath took FOREVER. Pull your insurance policy up too so you know what you’ve got.
13. See how jumpy this list is? That’s how much happens at once. It’s crazy. You will have to prepare yourself to have patience, be tenacious and try to organize your shit. Don’t be afraid to set deadlines. I was way too worried that I was being a good customer and felt grateful for everything that was done for me. I still am, of course, but insurance money is not free, you pay for your policy and the people coming in the next month (or year!) work for you.
14. If you lose your house like I did, you will know that not a single bit of what you own is worth you or your families lives. Watch little ones carefully. They may roll with the punches or have anxiety. And anxiety can look a whole lot like misbehaving. Make sure your priority when moving around are the little ones, the elderly and your pets getting from point A to point B safely. (I’m talking after the storm, not just during it!) And I found it was better to keep everyone together, pets too. Even the cats.
15. Kiss your privacy goodbye for a long time. And it could be a very long time. (Maybe it’s better not to know this.) Take pictures of checks, names and business cards on your phone. Your camera on your phone can be a crude but effective way of documenting all kinds of things. And make sure you get an instant copy of all documents you sign.
16. It will end. Eventually, the headaches and the builders will leave. You will get back to your life. All things have an end as my grandfather used to say.
Can anyone else that’s had insurance claims think of anything I missed? Add it in the comments.
I wish future me could give scared, confused me some pointers. Because in this last year I've learned some shit that would've be helpful. This is assuming you and your people and pets made it though safe, you just have damage to deal with. If not, my sincere prayers go out to your and yours.
This post assumes you are coming out of wherever you were safely sheltered for the storm.
First, make sure it is safe before you enter. My husband and I went into our house with the tree still on top. It was stupid and unnecessary. Not one damn thing in my house was worth us taking that risk like a bunch of yahoo morons.
We thought a picture and a set of plates was worth the risk. We wanted to save something. The tree could have collapsed the house at any second. So screw it. Seriously. You're in shock and likely to make asshole decisions. You're talking, walking but things have altered who you are a little.
I don't know much about flooding, because although we had water damage it was from above, not below. My opinion on that is that water is some scary crap. Picture it as a huge, electric eel that wants to kill your ass. No possession is worth it. No not your wedding band, not your flat screen, nothing. So don't freaking go in. There will be people to help you with that and make educated decisions about when it is safe.
In the aftermath, you will have to make some fast decisions. Some of mine were good, some not so much.
Here’s my best advice: First save every receipt you have. Everything. Find a bag and stick all of the receipts in it. You will have time to note which ones matter later. Take pictures if it is safe to do so. Right down the mileage on your vehicle. (Later you may be compensated for gas/miles. I did not do this and wish I had.)
Call your insurance. Be prepared for a wait. Depending on your damage, you may be dealing with an out of state agent and and then another person or two later on. I started a daily journal of who I talked to and what their names were, and times we talked, but I did not continue it past the first month, I wish I had.
I was able later to staple the receipts from each day to the log I was keeping (Until I stopped.) Your insurance, if your policy allows, should be setting up all the situations you might need (assuming major damage, ask questions about small damage.) Rental place, contractor, etc. I did not know there was a company that my insurance hired to do these types of things. Now they were out of towners and might have set me up digs in a hard part of town, so don’t just blindly trust their choices.
Hare are some helpful questions, or at least a place to start:
1. What is my coverage?
2. How soon can you get me money to use for living outside of my house? ( I learned they will put this off for as long as possible and in check form which will require a waiting period for some banks to cash.) Don’t be embarrassed, clearly layout how this damage is effecting your weekly budget. They have ways to get you money sooner.
3. Make sure you know what part of your policy the money is coming from. I was given money that was ultimately out of my possession expenses.
4. Keep that log running, even if it’s messy, even if you miss days. It would have been so much better for me now if I had it.
5. Every person that calls you or that you call about damage and repairs, program them into your phone. You never know when you’ll need that number in the future.
6. Keep your receipts! I said it before and I will say it again. Keep them all. I wound up having huge zip lock bags holding mine.They are as good as cash becasue you can be reimbursed for some things.
7. Before hiring any contractor run their name and business name through your local judiciary search. You’d be shocked how much you can find out. Google their name, google their business, google their email and phone number. Each search should be separate) (Call or contact someone with power and a computer to do this for you if you can’t.) I'd have saved myself HUGE headaches had I done that.
8. Ask questions. My insurance dude was amazing. He answered every question. If he was out of office, his boss would deal with my crazy ass. Note the response in the log. Don't be shy, now is not the time.
9. You will not remember dates, times and facts like you think you will. At the end of this process I’ll have made easily 500 phone calls regarding different issues. The events, names and facts will blur. So stick them in your log.
10. Insurance claims are like blood in the water for sharks when it comes to criminals. A true, good contractor will be willing to give you references, show you pictures, and be willing to wait for you. Don’t be pressured into anything.
11. Some stuff has to move quick. We had to get the tree off our house ASAP. I didn’t have time to research. I went with the guy that answered his phone and showed up. Cut yourself some freaking slack, do you best.
12. Speaking of which, while your reading this pull up a number for a tree person or two and a Serv-pro type company so you have those handy. Just web surfing on my phone in the aftermath took FOREVER. Pull your insurance policy up too so you know what you’ve got.
13. See how jumpy this list is? That’s how much happens at once. It’s crazy. You will have to prepare yourself to have patience, be tenacious and try to organize your shit. Don’t be afraid to set deadlines. I was way too worried that I was being a good customer and felt grateful for everything that was done for me. I still am, of course, but insurance money is not free, you pay for your policy and the people coming in the next month (or year!) work for you.
14. If you lose your house like I did, you will know that not a single bit of what you own is worth you or your families lives. Watch little ones carefully. They may roll with the punches or have anxiety. And anxiety can look a whole lot like misbehaving. Make sure your priority when moving around are the little ones, the elderly and your pets getting from point A to point B safely. (I’m talking after the storm, not just during it!) And I found it was better to keep everyone together, pets too. Even the cats.
15. Kiss your privacy goodbye for a long time. And it could be a very long time. (Maybe it’s better not to know this.) Take pictures of checks, names and business cards on your phone. Your camera on your phone can be a crude but effective way of documenting all kinds of things. And make sure you get an instant copy of all documents you sign.
16. It will end. Eventually, the headaches and the builders will leave. You will get back to your life. All things have an end as my grandfather used to say.
Can anyone else that’s had insurance claims think of anything I missed? Add it in the comments.
October 26, 2012
Prepare Your Ass For a Hurrcane!
Hello Friends,
As you may have noticed, the weather people have predicted a pants shitting Hurricane by the name of Sandy.
I realized, after my instant bout with IBS, that I may have some things to offer that can help you prepare for this type of asshole storm.
Just a quick, brief recap, last year Hurricane Irene destroyed my house.
So as I get ready for this storm like a mother fucking ninja, I thought I would share what I'm doing.
I'm preparing for two possibilities: A) That we are staying in our rebuilt house to weather the storm and 2) That we are leaving and getting the Hell out of Dodge becasue Fuck You hurricane, that's why.
A) If we stay we are doing things like preparing for power outages. I wish we had a generator. We don't. If you are a short sighted, thick headed nimrod like me, you will need to have things in order.
~Grab your cell phone or video camera, now, while the doomsday asshole is days away. No seriously, do it right now. Take pictures of all your crap. Go from room to room. Take pictures of the outside too. Any funky trees? Note where those bastards are. When the wind gets wild, don't be where they could land.
~Okay, now think hard thoughts. Do you have money in your freaking purse? If the trees turn in to bludgeoning nut sacks, they may take out your power and everyone else's. Including ATMs. Go get money in your purse. Now that you're back, think about current bills, important papers and such. Make a pile. This pile is shit you will bring with you.
~Get a suitcase, recyclable bag, or bookbag. Fill one for each family member. Everyone needs clean drawers and comfortable clothes. If you are a lady, don't forget tampons and a bra you can sleep in. Kids get a small toy. Throw a book in there too.
~Get another bag. This is your "Holy Crap I have so many drugs to make it through the day" sack. Put the medicines in there that you always need and sometimes might need. Only have a day left of pills? Get your ass to the CVS and fill 'er up.
~Got a baby? Damn it, get a few things together. Pack that two day diaper bag.
~If you've got time, fill up a gallon of water for each person. Realistically it should be like 28 gallons per person. But believe me, you want to be able to move fast. Maybe throw the other gallons in your car.
~Do you have animals? I bungled this up huge last time. I hadn't even cleared it with my closest neighbors if I could bring all of my nimrods over. Yes, that's an awkward conversation to have on a sunny day. Trust me, it's weirder when trees are falling down all around you and you can actually see Jesus. Have leashes and crates set near an exit. In a rush, you may not have time to bring the crates, so think leashes for dogs. A nice, strong method that is secure of keeping them leashed. My dog's slipped his leash during the last hurricane and it could have killed us both. Does it take much to tighten the collar or harness? No, bend over and do it. Now we both feel better.
~Keep you cat near a carrying case. My advice is to make sure you know where they are and you can get them in a hurry. I had to search for mine under a bed in the pitch dark. Sucked. Make sure they can't hide if you need them.
~Shoes. Pull shoes out for everyone that are easy to slip on. Be ready to carry small people. Have flashlights ready to go.
~Seriously, don't think this can't happen to you. It can. I hope it never does, but being ready for this shit takes like what? A total of thirty minutes? Put music on, you'll hardly feel it. I'm not talking end of the world preparedness here, but just if you have to rush out the damn door.
~Most important? Listen to the evac warnings, don't think you're superman with a big giant sack of indestructible nuts.
~Once you're ready for the storm and prepared to leave if necessary, do the other things you do. Hoard Ice, bread, TP, prepare to eat without electric.
~Fill your damn tub to the top. Check the seal as well to make sure the water doesn't escape after hours of sitting there. In my old tub I had an elaborate system of sinking things around the drain plug to keep the water in.
~Review your insurance policy god damn it. What the hell are you going to be dealing with? When I realized we were covered for our belongings and a house rebuild I could have kissed my insurance agent on the mouth. With tongue.
What am I forgetting? Add a comment with your tips, warnings. Be Safe. Charge up your cell phone. Know mulitpale ways out of your house. Practice them with your kids.
Sounds like a lot but if it takes an hour, them you can have peace. These are things I wish I'd done last time.
As you may have noticed, the weather people have predicted a pants shitting Hurricane by the name of Sandy.
I realized, after my instant bout with IBS, that I may have some things to offer that can help you prepare for this type of asshole storm.
Just a quick, brief recap, last year Hurricane Irene destroyed my house.
So as I get ready for this storm like a mother fucking ninja, I thought I would share what I'm doing.
I'm preparing for two possibilities: A) That we are staying in our rebuilt house to weather the storm and 2) That we are leaving and getting the Hell out of Dodge becasue Fuck You hurricane, that's why.
A) If we stay we are doing things like preparing for power outages. I wish we had a generator. We don't. If you are a short sighted, thick headed nimrod like me, you will need to have things in order.
~Grab your cell phone or video camera, now, while the doomsday asshole is days away. No seriously, do it right now. Take pictures of all your crap. Go from room to room. Take pictures of the outside too. Any funky trees? Note where those bastards are. When the wind gets wild, don't be where they could land.
~Okay, now think hard thoughts. Do you have money in your freaking purse? If the trees turn in to bludgeoning nut sacks, they may take out your power and everyone else's. Including ATMs. Go get money in your purse. Now that you're back, think about current bills, important papers and such. Make a pile. This pile is shit you will bring with you.
~Get a suitcase, recyclable bag, or bookbag. Fill one for each family member. Everyone needs clean drawers and comfortable clothes. If you are a lady, don't forget tampons and a bra you can sleep in. Kids get a small toy. Throw a book in there too.
~Get another bag. This is your "Holy Crap I have so many drugs to make it through the day" sack. Put the medicines in there that you always need and sometimes might need. Only have a day left of pills? Get your ass to the CVS and fill 'er up.
~Got a baby? Damn it, get a few things together. Pack that two day diaper bag.
~If you've got time, fill up a gallon of water for each person. Realistically it should be like 28 gallons per person. But believe me, you want to be able to move fast. Maybe throw the other gallons in your car.
~Do you have animals? I bungled this up huge last time. I hadn't even cleared it with my closest neighbors if I could bring all of my nimrods over. Yes, that's an awkward conversation to have on a sunny day. Trust me, it's weirder when trees are falling down all around you and you can actually see Jesus. Have leashes and crates set near an exit. In a rush, you may not have time to bring the crates, so think leashes for dogs. A nice, strong method that is secure of keeping them leashed. My dog's slipped his leash during the last hurricane and it could have killed us both. Does it take much to tighten the collar or harness? No, bend over and do it. Now we both feel better.
~Keep you cat near a carrying case. My advice is to make sure you know where they are and you can get them in a hurry. I had to search for mine under a bed in the pitch dark. Sucked. Make sure they can't hide if you need them.
~Shoes. Pull shoes out for everyone that are easy to slip on. Be ready to carry small people. Have flashlights ready to go.
~Seriously, don't think this can't happen to you. It can. I hope it never does, but being ready for this shit takes like what? A total of thirty minutes? Put music on, you'll hardly feel it. I'm not talking end of the world preparedness here, but just if you have to rush out the damn door.
~Most important? Listen to the evac warnings, don't think you're superman with a big giant sack of indestructible nuts.
~Once you're ready for the storm and prepared to leave if necessary, do the other things you do. Hoard Ice, bread, TP, prepare to eat without electric.
~Fill your damn tub to the top. Check the seal as well to make sure the water doesn't escape after hours of sitting there. In my old tub I had an elaborate system of sinking things around the drain plug to keep the water in.
~Review your insurance policy god damn it. What the hell are you going to be dealing with? When I realized we were covered for our belongings and a house rebuild I could have kissed my insurance agent on the mouth. With tongue.
What am I forgetting? Add a comment with your tips, warnings. Be Safe. Charge up your cell phone. Know mulitpale ways out of your house. Practice them with your kids.
Sounds like a lot but if it takes an hour, them you can have peace. These are things I wish I'd done last time.
October 17, 2012
Confessions of a Bookaholic: Haunted Halloween with Debra Anastasia and a Givea...
Confessions of a Bookaholic: Haunted Halloween with Debra Anastasia and a Givea...: Scary Debra by Debra Anastasia I think ghosts have given up on me. Scary things too. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve seen a fair number of...
October 16, 2012
Iridescent by Carol Oates Release Day!!
Iridescent Release Day!
Angel writers have got to stick together! My publishing house sister, fellow angel writer and very good friend, Carol Oates released book two in the gorgeous Ember series. Check out her tour stops and go to her blog for a chance to win a copy of Iridescent! Also, do yourself a favor and watch her ridiculously awesome book trailers. (She did the Poughkeepsie trailer and is working on Bittersweet Seraphim's right now! So talented.)
The Blog Tour is still going and you can check out a full list of stops here.
Summary
Candra Ember used to dream of saving the world one person at a time. She never expected to become an angelic weapon and the last hope in the battle against ultimate darkness.
Falling for a Nephilim wasn’t part of Sebastian’s plan. Distraction is something he can’t afford when his rival, Draven, wants what Sebastian has.
Lies, manipulation, and corruption are twisting the lives of the citizens in Acheron. The Arch is missing from Heaven, and a demon is intent on claiming the city. At a time they should be growing closer, grief and paranoia is driving Candra and Sebastian apart.
If the price of restoring the Watchers to Heaven is a human soul, who deserves to be saved?
Amazon US Kindle Amazon US Print
Amazon UK Kindle Amazon UK Print Barnes and Noble Print
You need to check out the first book too, so here's that info:
Summary:
When Candra Ember wakes up in hospital after a dangerous encounter with a red-haired woman, she is shocked to discover that seeing a winged boy wasn’t her imagination. Candra is exposed to a world of rivalry and sacrifice she never knew existed, and the aftermath of a war to save humanity thousands of years ago. Soon she finds herself relentlessly stalked by Sebastian, a beautiful and arrogant Watcher Angel and romantically pursued by his darkly seductive rival, Draven. Ultimately, dubious about her own goodness, Candra’s very existence compromises a tentative peace in the city of Acheron.
Ember at Amazon!
Ember at Barnes and Noble!
Angel writers have got to stick together! My publishing house sister, fellow angel writer and very good friend, Carol Oates released book two in the gorgeous Ember series. Check out her tour stops and go to her blog for a chance to win a copy of Iridescent! Also, do yourself a favor and watch her ridiculously awesome book trailers. (She did the Poughkeepsie trailer and is working on Bittersweet Seraphim's right now! So talented.)
The Blog Tour is still going and you can check out a full list of stops here.
Summary
Candra Ember used to dream of saving the world one person at a time. She never expected to become an angelic weapon and the last hope in the battle against ultimate darkness.
Falling for a Nephilim wasn’t part of Sebastian’s plan. Distraction is something he can’t afford when his rival, Draven, wants what Sebastian has.
Lies, manipulation, and corruption are twisting the lives of the citizens in Acheron. The Arch is missing from Heaven, and a demon is intent on claiming the city. At a time they should be growing closer, grief and paranoia is driving Candra and Sebastian apart.
If the price of restoring the Watchers to Heaven is a human soul, who deserves to be saved?
Amazon US Kindle Amazon US Print
Amazon UK Kindle Amazon UK Print Barnes and Noble Print
You need to check out the first book too, so here's that info:
Summary:
When Candra Ember wakes up in hospital after a dangerous encounter with a red-haired woman, she is shocked to discover that seeing a winged boy wasn’t her imagination. Candra is exposed to a world of rivalry and sacrifice she never knew existed, and the aftermath of a war to save humanity thousands of years ago. Soon she finds herself relentlessly stalked by Sebastian, a beautiful and arrogant Watcher Angel and romantically pursued by his darkly seductive rival, Draven. Ultimately, dubious about her own goodness, Candra’s very existence compromises a tentative peace in the city of Acheron.
Ember at Amazon!
Ember at Barnes and Noble!
October 1, 2012
Bittersweet Seraphim!
Will be released from Hell on 11.20.12! I wanted to give you guys a peek at the summary for the book. I'm really excited for this book for a lot of reasons, first because it resolves a HUGE cliffhanger *cough*Emma*cough* and second because I started it in my old house. After the hurricane, getting the rest of the story typed out seemed like an impossible task. There was so much to do. But after a lot of late nights and headphone alone time, Jack had his way with my mind. I started it in my old house and It will be released from my new house. It feels like a victory.
As with anything I every right, please remember I am a crazy person. The story will start very differently and I hope it works for you guys.
I've made it a tradition to stay up late and watch my books appear on the Internet so please feel free to join me on Twitter: @Debra_Anastasia on the evening of November 19th. It's set to go on sale 12:00am EST.
Thank you so much for caring about Jason, Emma and Jack as much as I do. You guys make everything more fun. XO
Bittersweet Seraphim Summary:
Suffering is worst when you’re doing it alone. But Emma’s taking Hell like an angel—even though her languishing began with having her seraph wings torn from her back. Now her worst enemy lords his body and his evil desires over her while she tries desperately to remember the words to her favorite prayer.
As Devil, Jack used to have Hell and its women humming like well-oiled machines. Too bad he’s nowhere near the place now. Stuck on Earth as a human, he must work with a ragtag team of exiled minions and half-breeds to save the angel who’s become all that matters.
Rescuing a seraph is the plan, but breaking into Hell means letting evil things out. Once they collide, minions and angels converge in the battle of the ages: good versus evil. But which side is which? Will Jack destroy the world as he fights to save Emma, his true and timeless love, from a damnation he designed?
An action-packed sequel to Crushed Seraphim, this tale reveals—time and again—what happens when the heart’s deepest desires break free. With a story both sizzling and sensual, emotional and enigmatic, Debra Anastasia invites readers to join a battle with nothing less than
Image by Carol Oates
Excerpt: Contains Spoilers!! If you haven't read Crushed Seraphim, you might want to pass on this until you're done.
“Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done…” Emma’s voice was just a small whisper, and the sound of it echoing off the cement walls made her feel more alone.She tried to remember who she was, what she was. “What I still am,” she said aloud. She held her arms and legs tightly to her body. The floor was alarmingly cold. It was cold for any floor, but particularly harsh considering Emma was in Hell.“I’m an angel in Hell. I have a purpose. I have people I love. I have a purpose.” She took a breath to steady herself. Then she tried again, “Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name...”If she wasn’t so dehydrated, she might have teared up. The prayer was one of the first things she’d learned as a young girl. Soon after learning her name, Emma knew how to say the Lord’s Prayer. The lack of those words in her mind was a defeat.Emma was in her worst nightmare: the Hell hallway designed specially for her by Jack, the previous Devil. As innocuous as the simple hallway looked, it was filled with traitorous internal plagues, separated only by slender respites from the exhausting, painful tortures. Right now she was between anger and confusion.Perhaps it was the air next to her, which was laced with confusion, that had stolen the soothing words from her mind.Her mind. Such a simple thing to take for granted. She never knew it could be attacked from within. After Everett had tossed Emma into the hallway, she’d panicked. She’d wanted to be a strong, fearless crusader for right. So much for wishes.Emma sat up as carefully as she could, desperately wanting to avoid a bout with the traps so close on either side of her. She stretched her back, wishing she still had her angel wings. Surely she could shield herself and her mind by tucking them tightly around her body like a feather-covered shroud. Emma grabbed fistfuls of the short, flouncy skirt on the French maid’s costume she’d been forced to wear, trying to keep her elbows close at her sides. The power in the air on either side was very tangible. Emma needed more gumption to try to escape. She looked at the gaping exit, seemingly so close. But where to go? When an angel (okay, former angel) is sentenced to one thousand years in Hell, she has a certain desire to see her sentence to the end, follow the rules. Even if the rules hurt every second of her existence. Everett had left her in disgust, and she hadn’t seen him since. Which was good, although probably bad in the long run. She remembered how her ruffled panties had stayed stubbornly in place when he’d tried to force himself on her. It had infuriated him and confused her. Did she have someone or something on her side here in Hell? She tried again. “Our Father who art in…” The words scrambled from her grasp. “Damn it.”“Who arts in something? I always thought that was the most bullshitty of prayers they fed us.” Everett walked through the doorway, exuding cocky arrogance. “Are you trying to remember the words to that one? Still a believer after all you’ve been through, Emma?”She hated that she started shaking when she saw him. She was scared of him, and not only was it embarrassing, she felt shamed by it. Everett bit his bottom lip, trying to hold back his huge grin at her obvious fear. He was unsuccessful. “Not talking? That’s okay. I don’t need you to talk,” he said. “As long as you can grab your ankles, we’ll be fine.” He began to unbutton his silk pajama shirt. Emma wanted to look away—to at least deny him her attention if she could deny him nothing else—but she watched him like she would a poisonous spider. His chest was sculpted with muscle. He took a step forward with every button he unfastened. Emma squirmed and closed one eye. This man was the Devil. He had everything, anything at his disposal in this damned place. Her flimsy panties would not shield her for much longer. Everett untied his pajama bottoms and inched the fabric down slowly. The muscles below his hips were defined in what seemed like a promise of horrible things. “You can’t wait to see my goodies. I know, good things will come in those who can’t get away.” Everett took another step closer, just inches from the Hell hallway entrance. The first trap in the hallway assaulted him as he stepped into it, and he instantly backed up. “What the fuck was that?” Everett pointed at the space in front of him. Emma almost smiled. “That? That first one’s hunger. It’s the easiest one because hunger moves you forward in search of prey. The second? That’s depression. That one’s a bitch.” He sputtered with anger. “But, but I’m the Devil. I can go anywhere!” “Try again. It’ll give me something to watch.” Emma shrugged.Rejection, with a tinge of fear, created a lace pattern of dismay on his face. He tried numerous things to get to Emma: throwing a rock, which bounced off the air in front of him like a wall and hit him in the head. He tried running with a large pole he’d dug up from somewhere. It cracked in half, and the pointy end stabbed him in the balls. He paced back and forth like a caged tiger, snarling at Emma whenever they made eye contact. Finally, as if they were having a conversation instead of experiencing his cascading failures, he demanded, “Well, just come over here then.”Emma shook her head.Everett tried pointing and snapping. He tried closing his eyes and concentrating. Emma gave him the finger. “I will get in there. You probably know better than anyone the crap I have access to in here. If I have to tear this place apart, I’ll get to you.” Everett pointed again. Emma rubbed her forehead. It had been days, maybe weeks, since she had a drink of water, a bite to eat. She’d be dead if she were a human on earth, but a human in Hell wasn’t granted the freedom of death.She tried to pull her long blond hair out of her face, but gave up when her elbows came close to the traps and let it tumble around her shoulders. “I hope your blue balls poison you.” Emma looked at her feet, fairly confident that she was out of his grasp, for now.Everett crouched down to deliver his next promises. “When I can finally lick your face? Do you know what I’m going to do next?” The sounds of Hell seeped in around his words. She looked over her shoulder, and he wiggled his tongue at her.“Um, stick your Smurf nuts in some panties just like these and put heels on?” She tried to hold his gaze as she pointed to her underwear. His face contorted into a very convincing mask of evil. “You think you’re sassy, but you’ll pay for every word with screams. Every insult with blood. I’m going to chain you by the neck to my ankle for at least a hundred years. You’ll lick my feet clean. I’ve so much time to play with. This hallway is just a speed bump. You should fear every moment.” He stood, and her new best friend, fear, crowded into her heart again.
As with anything I every right, please remember I am a crazy person. The story will start very differently and I hope it works for you guys.
I've made it a tradition to stay up late and watch my books appear on the Internet so please feel free to join me on Twitter: @Debra_Anastasia on the evening of November 19th. It's set to go on sale 12:00am EST.
Thank you so much for caring about Jason, Emma and Jack as much as I do. You guys make everything more fun. XO
Bittersweet Seraphim Summary:
Suffering is worst when you’re doing it alone. But Emma’s taking Hell like an angel—even though her languishing began with having her seraph wings torn from her back. Now her worst enemy lords his body and his evil desires over her while she tries desperately to remember the words to her favorite prayer.
As Devil, Jack used to have Hell and its women humming like well-oiled machines. Too bad he’s nowhere near the place now. Stuck on Earth as a human, he must work with a ragtag team of exiled minions and half-breeds to save the angel who’s become all that matters.
Rescuing a seraph is the plan, but breaking into Hell means letting evil things out. Once they collide, minions and angels converge in the battle of the ages: good versus evil. But which side is which? Will Jack destroy the world as he fights to save Emma, his true and timeless love, from a damnation he designed?
An action-packed sequel to Crushed Seraphim, this tale reveals—time and again—what happens when the heart’s deepest desires break free. With a story both sizzling and sensual, emotional and enigmatic, Debra Anastasia invites readers to join a battle with nothing less than
Image by Carol Oates Excerpt: Contains Spoilers!! If you haven't read Crushed Seraphim, you might want to pass on this until you're done.
“Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done…” Emma’s voice was just a small whisper, and the sound of it echoing off the cement walls made her feel more alone.She tried to remember who she was, what she was. “What I still am,” she said aloud. She held her arms and legs tightly to her body. The floor was alarmingly cold. It was cold for any floor, but particularly harsh considering Emma was in Hell.“I’m an angel in Hell. I have a purpose. I have people I love. I have a purpose.” She took a breath to steady herself. Then she tried again, “Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name...”If she wasn’t so dehydrated, she might have teared up. The prayer was one of the first things she’d learned as a young girl. Soon after learning her name, Emma knew how to say the Lord’s Prayer. The lack of those words in her mind was a defeat.Emma was in her worst nightmare: the Hell hallway designed specially for her by Jack, the previous Devil. As innocuous as the simple hallway looked, it was filled with traitorous internal plagues, separated only by slender respites from the exhausting, painful tortures. Right now she was between anger and confusion.Perhaps it was the air next to her, which was laced with confusion, that had stolen the soothing words from her mind.Her mind. Such a simple thing to take for granted. She never knew it could be attacked from within. After Everett had tossed Emma into the hallway, she’d panicked. She’d wanted to be a strong, fearless crusader for right. So much for wishes.Emma sat up as carefully as she could, desperately wanting to avoid a bout with the traps so close on either side of her. She stretched her back, wishing she still had her angel wings. Surely she could shield herself and her mind by tucking them tightly around her body like a feather-covered shroud. Emma grabbed fistfuls of the short, flouncy skirt on the French maid’s costume she’d been forced to wear, trying to keep her elbows close at her sides. The power in the air on either side was very tangible. Emma needed more gumption to try to escape. She looked at the gaping exit, seemingly so close. But where to go? When an angel (okay, former angel) is sentenced to one thousand years in Hell, she has a certain desire to see her sentence to the end, follow the rules. Even if the rules hurt every second of her existence. Everett had left her in disgust, and she hadn’t seen him since. Which was good, although probably bad in the long run. She remembered how her ruffled panties had stayed stubbornly in place when he’d tried to force himself on her. It had infuriated him and confused her. Did she have someone or something on her side here in Hell? She tried again. “Our Father who art in…” The words scrambled from her grasp. “Damn it.”“Who arts in something? I always thought that was the most bullshitty of prayers they fed us.” Everett walked through the doorway, exuding cocky arrogance. “Are you trying to remember the words to that one? Still a believer after all you’ve been through, Emma?”She hated that she started shaking when she saw him. She was scared of him, and not only was it embarrassing, she felt shamed by it. Everett bit his bottom lip, trying to hold back his huge grin at her obvious fear. He was unsuccessful. “Not talking? That’s okay. I don’t need you to talk,” he said. “As long as you can grab your ankles, we’ll be fine.” He began to unbutton his silk pajama shirt. Emma wanted to look away—to at least deny him her attention if she could deny him nothing else—but she watched him like she would a poisonous spider. His chest was sculpted with muscle. He took a step forward with every button he unfastened. Emma squirmed and closed one eye. This man was the Devil. He had everything, anything at his disposal in this damned place. Her flimsy panties would not shield her for much longer. Everett untied his pajama bottoms and inched the fabric down slowly. The muscles below his hips were defined in what seemed like a promise of horrible things. “You can’t wait to see my goodies. I know, good things will come in those who can’t get away.” Everett took another step closer, just inches from the Hell hallway entrance. The first trap in the hallway assaulted him as he stepped into it, and he instantly backed up. “What the fuck was that?” Everett pointed at the space in front of him. Emma almost smiled. “That? That first one’s hunger. It’s the easiest one because hunger moves you forward in search of prey. The second? That’s depression. That one’s a bitch.” He sputtered with anger. “But, but I’m the Devil. I can go anywhere!” “Try again. It’ll give me something to watch.” Emma shrugged.Rejection, with a tinge of fear, created a lace pattern of dismay on his face. He tried numerous things to get to Emma: throwing a rock, which bounced off the air in front of him like a wall and hit him in the head. He tried running with a large pole he’d dug up from somewhere. It cracked in half, and the pointy end stabbed him in the balls. He paced back and forth like a caged tiger, snarling at Emma whenever they made eye contact. Finally, as if they were having a conversation instead of experiencing his cascading failures, he demanded, “Well, just come over here then.”Emma shook her head.Everett tried pointing and snapping. He tried closing his eyes and concentrating. Emma gave him the finger. “I will get in there. You probably know better than anyone the crap I have access to in here. If I have to tear this place apart, I’ll get to you.” Everett pointed again. Emma rubbed her forehead. It had been days, maybe weeks, since she had a drink of water, a bite to eat. She’d be dead if she were a human on earth, but a human in Hell wasn’t granted the freedom of death.She tried to pull her long blond hair out of her face, but gave up when her elbows came close to the traps and let it tumble around her shoulders. “I hope your blue balls poison you.” Emma looked at her feet, fairly confident that she was out of his grasp, for now.Everett crouched down to deliver his next promises. “When I can finally lick your face? Do you know what I’m going to do next?” The sounds of Hell seeped in around his words. She looked over her shoulder, and he wiggled his tongue at her.“Um, stick your Smurf nuts in some panties just like these and put heels on?” She tried to hold his gaze as she pointed to her underwear. His face contorted into a very convincing mask of evil. “You think you’re sassy, but you’ll pay for every word with screams. Every insult with blood. I’m going to chain you by the neck to my ankle for at least a hundred years. You’ll lick my feet clean. I’ve so much time to play with. This hallway is just a speed bump. You should fear every moment.” He stood, and her new best friend, fear, crowded into her heart again.
September 30, 2012
The Tarot Diaries by Elicia Seawell
What would you do if you could find out your purpose in life? Would you want to know or be completely left in the dark?Katie Jenkins finds out her purpose, but not in a way most people do. After a night of shots of tequila and a bet from her best friend, she is coerced to seek a fortune teller for insight into her future. What she finds out changes her life forever. Katie comes from a long line of Romanian Gypsies cursed with the ability to not only read Tarot cards, but they also have to deliver the bad news to whomever the cards reveal. She, along with her best friend Phoenix (Finny) Carrington, seeks out those who are doomed and try to change their lives before something awful happens to them.Can Katie stop a mad man from the deaths that surround her, or will she fall victim to the very same mad man responsible for the death of so many?About Elicia M. Seawell
Elicia M. Seawell started out as a freelance graphic artist and fell in love with writing when she began her work in the newspaper industry. After long sleepless nights, she found writing as a way to combat her insomnia however most of her characters were developed while standing in the frozen food section deciding on ice cream. She is the author of “Peach River Acres” and “The Tarot Diaries” series, both being released by Rebel Ink Press. She is also the author of the self-published YA novella, “Shadows: The Story of the Kayouta.” Elicia is currently studying Behavioral Analysis/Psychology and is married to Michael Seawell. She has three children: Brandon, Rachel and Greta. She was also born in Darlington, SC and currently resides in Darlington. Excerpt from Tarot Diaries: The Fool"I must say dear fellow, you've traveled quite a distance to get here," a voice said. I looked to my right and saw a man sitting on a throne covered in vines. Upon his head was a crown made of gold, vines and red flowers. His robe was covered in grapes, blue lines and vines. He held a scepter in one hand and a pentacle in the other. His face looked kind as his armor covered leg propped upon the head of a lion or boar.Clearly I'd dozed off and was in a dream, a third party watching as the Fool stopped in front of the King and bowed."Sir, I seek advice and assistance. I've traveled a long way to learn more about myself and I was told you were the one I should speak with."The king adjusted himself in his seat, never letting go of his pentacle."What is it you seek, young traveler?" he asked."Generosity, kind sir. I want to learn more about what it means to be truly generous. The word throughout the countryside is you have a way of turning rocks into gold. Everything you touch becomes highly valuable. How is it you can do that yet be so generous at the same time?"The king laughed a hearty laugh. "Dear traveler, I believe you should do unto others. I would give you this golden scepter and golden pentacle if it meant you needing to eat or settle a debt. I would feed you the very grapes that grow on my throne if it meant you needed sustenance. I give because it is better to do so than to be greedy. You will learn, dear friend, that in order to make yourself happy, you must give all you can to those who are less fortunate."The Fool stood for a moment absorbing everything the King said to him."But kind King, what if I have nothing to give? As you can see, I'm a poor traveler with only a staff and a canine to keep my companion."The king laughed again. "My friend, there are things you can always give. A smile, a kind word, a helping hand to an old man who cannot lift a heavy bag of grain. There are many things you can do, even if you are a poor traveler yourself."The Fool nodded in understanding. I could feel his heart growing with knowledge. "Every time I give something of myself to others, I find more growth in my bountiful garden. The universe was developed on the rules of give and take, but never forget to return the favor. That's what keeps the circle of life going."The King stood and walked to the brick wall behind him. "Do you see this kingdom? It was once nothing but dust and dirt and one by one, as weary travelers such as yourself stopped seeking shelter, they stayed to return the favor of my generosity and never left. They created this kingdom and without kindness, it would be a barren wasteland of contrite, unhappy people."I watched as the Fool stood beside the King, his equal, no man more important than the other. I could feel the Fool's energy increasing as he smiled. His weariness was leaving. The king reached over to a bowl that sat on the edge of the wall and handed the Fool a bunch of grapes and the Fool took ate until his belly was full."Dear kind King, how can I repay you for this most important lesson?"The king sat down on throne again and smiled."Weary traveler, you can repay me by spreading the word of kindness. You've come this far in your path to enlightenment and I only ask that you follow my lead and help others that are less fortunate never asking anything in return. Since you've learned this lesson, your life will be full of plentiful bounties. You will never go hungry and you will never be alone. Good luck on your travels, young son. May your life always be full."The Fool nodded as he walked down the winding stairs to his next destination.Doesn't that sound great! Thanks to Elicia for letting me be a part of this. She totally rocks and her writing takes you on a wonderful journey. I had the pleasur eof being a pre-reader and can certify this book with AWESOME.Go get it!!B&N Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tarot-diaries-elicia-seawell/1112747524/Amazon: http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i152/wspanicgirl21/TheFool_Cover_small.jpgAll Romance E Books: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-tarotdiariesthefool-930299-140.htmlBookstrand: http://www.bookstrand.com/tarot-diaries-the-fool
Find Her:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/EliciaMSeawellAuthorTwitter: http://twitter.com/EliciaMSeawellBlog: http://emseawell.wordpress.com/
September 16, 2012
Baltimore Book Festival
I’m going to be appearing all three days of the Baltimore Book Festival with the Maryland Romance Writers. The festival is free too!
https://www.baltimorebookfestival.com/schedule/location/8/Maryland-Romance-Writers-Stage
On Friday the 28th I will be speaking on a panel where we will be discussing how to get the courage to write at 1pm. And at 6pm I’ll be around to talk vampires and chocolate.
On Saturday the 29th I’ll be on a panel discussing romance in fantasy at 2pm.
Saturday evening my friend Nise has arranged a meet and greet and laugh for my gorgeous reader friends. I’d love to kick back and chat with anyone that I’m lucky enough to have met through writing. Please feel free to drop by! I’m going to bake some cookies and bring some swag too. Here’s the invite:
A Gathering of Friends, featuring Debra Anastasia
8pm - Midnight
In the boardroom, Wyndham Baltimore Peabody Court612 Cathedral St., Baltimore
The confirmation of your attendance would be kindly appreciated.
Please respond to Denise at wheres.pough@gmail.com
On Sunday the 30th I’ll be doing one last panel on writing funny and romantic things. We all know I’m there for the funny. At least I hope so. This whole festival will be my first baby steps into the world as an author. Hopefully I won’t poop my pants. Please let me know if you’ll be around! I’ll watch for you.
https://www.baltimorebookfestival.com/schedule/location/8/Maryland-Romance-Writers-Stage
On Friday the 28th I will be speaking on a panel where we will be discussing how to get the courage to write at 1pm. And at 6pm I’ll be around to talk vampires and chocolate.
On Saturday the 29th I’ll be on a panel discussing romance in fantasy at 2pm.
Saturday evening my friend Nise has arranged a meet and greet and laugh for my gorgeous reader friends. I’d love to kick back and chat with anyone that I’m lucky enough to have met through writing. Please feel free to drop by! I’m going to bake some cookies and bring some swag too. Here’s the invite:
A Gathering of Friends, featuring Debra Anastasia
8pm - Midnight
In the boardroom, Wyndham Baltimore Peabody Court612 Cathedral St., Baltimore
The confirmation of your attendance would be kindly appreciated.
Please respond to Denise at wheres.pough@gmail.com
On Sunday the 30th I’ll be doing one last panel on writing funny and romantic things. We all know I’m there for the funny. At least I hope so. This whole festival will be my first baby steps into the world as an author. Hopefully I won’t poop my pants. Please let me know if you’ll be around! I’ll watch for you.
September 6, 2012
Killian McRae Cover Reveal!!
My friend Killian McRae has a hot new release coming 9/12/12:
www.killianmcrae.comblog: authorkillianmcrae.blogspot.comtwitter: @killianmcraefacebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/authorkillianmcrae
Statistician Riona Dade knows all about probabilities. Still, even she'd tell you the chances of discovering you’re a witch, being appointed to the demon-slaying trio known as the Pure Souls, and finding yourself sinfully attracted to a catholic priest who uses amen and other four-lettered words with equal enthusiasm are pretty slim. Also learning your ex was once Hell’s first-round draft pick, and realizing you're a prize catch for Satan’s soul-damning quota leaves a girl feeling like she just won the lottery while being struck by lightning while riding a unicorn across Atlantis.
Trying to keep her mind off role playing the Thornbirds with Father Angeletti, Riona leads the Pure Souls against a maniacal menagerie of Mephistopheles’s minions plaguing greater Boston. Giving in to lust is a direct flight to damnation for both her and the priest, leading Riona to distract herself by striking up a romance with her new, foxy neighbor, Lucy. But she can't shake her attraction to Marcello, and as the tension between them grows thicker than a lumberjack’s beard, temptation may become too difficult to resist.
How long can they deny the pull growing between them, knowing there will be Hell to pay?
Here's a Giveaway!
In Print
Excerpt:
As Dee sauntered away, Riona focused on the priest’s expression. Marc wasn’t in his collar and coat today, but always carried the air of the clergyman within to some degree, like he wore his collar on the inside.
“How did you end up here?” She took in the rugged cut of his jaw, the stubble that showed he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. He wasn’t bad looking by any measure, and he probably could have been quite the heartbreaker if he wasn’t a man of God. His eyes weren’t brown, they were black, and glistened like onyx pendants. A firm jaw and supple lips were likely often employed more for battling the fires of Hell than fanning the flames of lust. Nevertheless, the tools were there to be used, if he so desired. For a man of the cloth, he sure cut that cloth fine. The priest rose to what she considered the perfect height, had a body not too muscular, but hardly milk toasty, and a swagger in his walk that would make a lady think he could move his body in all the ways the good Lord intended. If only his collar and his personality weren’t pressed with double starch. “Paolo’s is the best pizza in town. Trust me on that, I’m Italian.” Sarcasm wasn’t his most attractive trait, but it was one of the most prominent. “Don’t deflect the question,” Riona commanded with a click of her tongue. “I mean being one of the Pure Souls. I know how you found me…” “… secured in a straitjacket and pending shipment to a cushy psychiatric facility?” She crossed her arms and grimaced, wondering suddenly if the hex she’d learned to give demons jock itch would work on humans. “Look, you walk through the steel wall of a meat locker and try to explain it to the police in a way that doesn’t get you 5150’ed, and then you can talk. But, I mean, a priest? Isn’t the Catholic Church, you know, kind of not kosher with the whole magical powers and battling goblins thing?”“Technically, the Catholic Church isn’t kosher with anything,” he returned. “Kosher’s a Jewish thing, not that I think the people of the book are anymore approving of mortal combat with the spawn of Hell. I was born into it. Magic is a birthright, you know. It shows up in my family every couple of generations. Just like being a priest — like my father before me, and his father before him.”
www.killianmcrae.comblog: authorkillianmcrae.blogspot.comtwitter: @killianmcraefacebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/authorkillianmcrae
Statistician Riona Dade knows all about probabilities. Still, even she'd tell you the chances of discovering you’re a witch, being appointed to the demon-slaying trio known as the Pure Souls, and finding yourself sinfully attracted to a catholic priest who uses amen and other four-lettered words with equal enthusiasm are pretty slim. Also learning your ex was once Hell’s first-round draft pick, and realizing you're a prize catch for Satan’s soul-damning quota leaves a girl feeling like she just won the lottery while being struck by lightning while riding a unicorn across Atlantis.
Trying to keep her mind off role playing the Thornbirds with Father Angeletti, Riona leads the Pure Souls against a maniacal menagerie of Mephistopheles’s minions plaguing greater Boston. Giving in to lust is a direct flight to damnation for both her and the priest, leading Riona to distract herself by striking up a romance with her new, foxy neighbor, Lucy. But she can't shake her attraction to Marcello, and as the tension between them grows thicker than a lumberjack’s beard, temptation may become too difficult to resist.
How long can they deny the pull growing between them, knowing there will be Hell to pay?
Here's a Giveaway!
In Print
Excerpt:
As Dee sauntered away, Riona focused on the priest’s expression. Marc wasn’t in his collar and coat today, but always carried the air of the clergyman within to some degree, like he wore his collar on the inside.
“How did you end up here?” She took in the rugged cut of his jaw, the stubble that showed he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. He wasn’t bad looking by any measure, and he probably could have been quite the heartbreaker if he wasn’t a man of God. His eyes weren’t brown, they were black, and glistened like onyx pendants. A firm jaw and supple lips were likely often employed more for battling the fires of Hell than fanning the flames of lust. Nevertheless, the tools were there to be used, if he so desired. For a man of the cloth, he sure cut that cloth fine. The priest rose to what she considered the perfect height, had a body not too muscular, but hardly milk toasty, and a swagger in his walk that would make a lady think he could move his body in all the ways the good Lord intended. If only his collar and his personality weren’t pressed with double starch. “Paolo’s is the best pizza in town. Trust me on that, I’m Italian.” Sarcasm wasn’t his most attractive trait, but it was one of the most prominent. “Don’t deflect the question,” Riona commanded with a click of her tongue. “I mean being one of the Pure Souls. I know how you found me…” “… secured in a straitjacket and pending shipment to a cushy psychiatric facility?” She crossed her arms and grimaced, wondering suddenly if the hex she’d learned to give demons jock itch would work on humans. “Look, you walk through the steel wall of a meat locker and try to explain it to the police in a way that doesn’t get you 5150’ed, and then you can talk. But, I mean, a priest? Isn’t the Catholic Church, you know, kind of not kosher with the whole magical powers and battling goblins thing?”“Technically, the Catholic Church isn’t kosher with anything,” he returned. “Kosher’s a Jewish thing, not that I think the people of the book are anymore approving of mortal combat with the spawn of Hell. I was born into it. Magic is a birthright, you know. It shows up in my family every couple of generations. Just like being a priest — like my father before me, and his father before him.”
