Debra Anastasia's Blog, page 18
February 13, 2015
Fire Down Below TEASER!!
“Holy tit fungus! Did you give Sasquatch an autopsy in here? God almighty, girl.” He waddled back into the hallway, this time holding his privates with both hands. “You balded the dick mitten. Nice. Let me see it.”
He looked at her like she might drop trou simply because he suggested it.
“I would rather lick a monkey’s armpit than show you my vagina.” Dove gave him the finger.
“You know what I love best about a naked muff hole? It looks just like a camel’s dangly lips.” Duke extended his own lips to make them appear gummy and slack. ~ Fire Down Below TEASER!
2.28.15
Pre-order this bullshit here: http://www.amazon.com/Fire-Down-Below-Gynazule-Book-ebook/dp/B00SSGACEM/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
He looked at her like she might drop trou simply because he suggested it.
“I would rather lick a monkey’s armpit than show you my vagina.” Dove gave him the finger.
“You know what I love best about a naked muff hole? It looks just like a camel’s dangly lips.” Duke extended his own lips to make them appear gummy and slack. ~ Fire Down Below TEASER!
2.28.15
Pre-order this bullshit here: http://www.amazon.com/Fire-Down-Below-Gynazule-Book-ebook/dp/B00SSGACEM/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
February 7, 2015
Maybe by Amber L. Johnson!!!!!!
Maybe by Amber L. Johnson
Release Date: February 12 , 2015Published by The Writers Coffee ShopGenre: FICTION / Romance / General / Contemporary / EroticaISBN e-book: 978-1-61213-371-3Available from: Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and TWCS PH
~~SUMMARY~~
Emily Portman loves her job. A writer for Breakout! Magazine, she shadows and showcases up-and-coming bands. When her next assignment takes her to Austin, Texas, she can’t wait to add the city to her map of places she’s visited. Places she’s left without looking back. Her plan is to keep moving on, and the last thing she needs is a man holding her back. She’s not going down that road again. Tyler Macy is stuck in a rut. Despite his exceptional talent as a musician, he has chosen to take a backseat with his music and let others grab the limelight. Wounded and mistrustful, he doesn’t appreciate his friends’ efforts to bring him back to center stage. Emily comes onto the scene and sees his full potential, but he fights to stay in the shadows, shutting her out before she can add to the scars another woman gave him. For Tyler to find his music again, he needs to accept the help that Emily and their friends offer. When he discovers that his muse lies underneath Emily’s skin, it is still not enough to keep her from walking away. Neither will admit what they really want until it is too late. Emily is once again thrown in Tyler’s path when she is assigned to join them on tour. Despite the pain in his past, Tyler sees that she is worth it, even if she’s stolen both his heart and peace of mind. In order for them to be together, they both must discover whether the music and their passion are enough to overcome the obstacles that separate them. Maybe finding love is worth the risk. Goodreads * Add to Want To Read List
~~EXCERPT~~
Walking toward him is like trudging through the deepest mud, but I hold my head high, my hands in my pockets and strides long. When I'm less than a foot away, his head turns toward me without lifting his chin, and he looks up from under his brows. The white smoke from his cigarette causes his eyes to nearly close before he pulls it from his lips and exhales upward into the air. I'm struck by how incredibly handsome he is in black wool and new jeans. I want to know if his skin feels hot under his clothes and if his back feels the same when I scratch fingernails across his spine. My fists clench in my coat pockets at the thought. This is going to be so much harder than I'd been prepared for. ~~ABOUT THE AUTHOR~~
A true child of music, Amber's parents surrounded her with the loudest beats they could find, molding her into a girl who found inspiration and meaning in lyrics and chords. Raised on John Hughes movies, Luck Dragons, and pirate ships, she dreamed of love and adventure. When Amber began to create her own world, she envisioned a place where Happy Ever Afters do exist. Since then, she has authored several romance novels, all of which focus on songs and the way they can touch people's lives. Music may not be able to fix a broken heart, but it can provide one hell of a soundtrack for healing. A full-time wife and mother with a full-time job, Amber finds her muse in everyday life and the people who bring her inspiration. Be sure to look for her other book! TWCS Link Amazon Link
a Rafflecopter giveaway ~~CONNECT WITH THE AUTHOR~~Twitter * Facebook * Goodreads * Website
Praise for Maybe "The characters are fun, likable, and well done. It's such a feel good story with a wonderful romance. Honestly, if you want a good, easy read with a cast of characters that will make you laugh and cry, and a romance that will sweep you off your feet then give this book a read. You won't regret it. " - JenniferGoodreads Review
February 4, 2015
February 2, 2015
#FireDownBelow Blogger/Author Double Doggie Style Dare Off!!
READERS PRE-ORDER GYNAZOLE HERE: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SSGACEM
Welcome Bloggers and Authors!!
You have been carefully selected as a blogger or author who has put up with my nonsense before. This means three things. First, you’re amazing. Second, you have an open mind and third, you have a sense of humor.
I adore you for all those things. And now I want to do bad things to you. And not sexy bad things, just straight up horrible things to your beautiful mind.
You see, I’ve written the worst story ever told. Really. I liken it to Titanic meeting the Hangover, then humping Bridesmaids. It has romance, but also vivid second-hand embarrassment and potty humor. Because it is so tremendously awful, I thought it would be a wonderful way for you to torture your fellow blogger/author friends. Why not take this fantastic bond you have and utilize it to let me fart all over your imaginations?
How can you pass this up?
Okay, you can totally pass this up, I’ll understand completely. And I promise I will keep writing normal-ish books in the future too.
What the hell am I doing anyway?
I like to call this event the Fire Down Below Double Doggie-Style Blogger Dare Off. Which is a mouthful.
That’s what she said.
We can shorten it to: OH SHIT! if you prefer.
What you can do is sign up for this atrocious bullshit and tag one (or more) of your blogger/author friends and dare them to read it, too. Here is the sign up form: THIS FORM HERE
Do you have to tag a friend? Of course not!! You can totally just torture yourself. Or just close this tab in a fiery blaze of disgust. I get it.
You’ll notice that the famous Enn Bocci is running point for me on this. I’m legally required to tell you that this is against her free will. In a moment of weakness she shared her secret meatball recipe with me. It’s the leverage I have to force her to do my bidding.
The release date on this monstrosity is 2/28/15.
Attached is the cover and some “I’m daring you baby!” graphics to help lure your sweet friends into my web of evil.
If you and your buddy both finish Fire Down Below, send me an email and I’ll snail mail you a prize! A horrible, weird prize. (PS this is not a bribe-y thing, I just feel like it would be a fun cherry on top of this shit sundae for you both. International is okay!) Or I can force Nina to light a candle for your souls at church. Either way.
Hoping to have the ARCs out to you mid-February. The book is 60k, and below is the godforsaken summary and a few short excepts so you can sort of take a rectal temperature of this dreadful festivity before you commit.
I love you like my poodle loves the couch throw pillows. Which is a lot. Which sometimes involves a spray bottle of water. If you know what I mean. *Wink. *Wink.
(P.S. If you already signed up for the OTHER Fire Down Below form that Nina has running, tits okay! Follow the link and click the “I already did this numbnuts!” option and plug in the name(s) of your victims if you have any. You will also get the ARC if you signed up on Nina’s form and do nothing with this confusing email.)
(P.P.enis. If you have any questions hit me up!)
XO Debra
ARCs won't be ready for a few weeks!!! Hang tight. Or loose. No judgement! Just make sure to fill out the form with your email!!
Summary for FIRE DOWN BELOW:
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell temporary pharmacist at the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her UTI meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud. Like he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Due to Johnson’s sexy face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove finds herself stupidly asking for a vagina-scented cream in her waking nightmare.
She falls for him, how could she not? The only active goal Dove has now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. Johnson’s horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing that fabulous reality from taking shape. When Dove defends Johnson in the most disgusting way in the center of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in Holy Water by my mom and glared at with pursed lips by my father. Neither thing will help. Slap on your rubber gloves, turn to the left and cough. It’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Fire Down Below is book 1 in the Gynazule Series
Release Date: 2/28/15
Excerpt:Mr. Fitzwell squinted as if he could turn her volume up by making his eyes smaller. "I'm not sure. Are you allergic to any types of VAGINAL medicines?"
Dove's mouth started talking before her head could shut her up, "Uh...I need to use very gentle soaps because I have sensitive... parts." Her voice was getting higher and higher.
Mr. Fitzwell looked as professional as a brain surgeon. He clearly wanted her to have the correct information. There were definitely stifled chuckles behind her now. Dove was pretty sure her ass was blushing as well. The crack was sweating all on its own, like it was on a super high diving board about to jump.
"Ok, Ms. Glitch GYNAZULE is not a soap. It will not work if you put it in and then rinse it off in the shower." He began patting the prescription paper to emphasize his words.
Oh God. We're talking about me being naked, in the shower with cooter cream. Please world end. Kill me.
"I know it's not soap. I just... if it's scented... I can't do scented. Flowers and stuff like that. Fruit flavored soaps make... things... burnish." She could tell from the peeks at his face Mr. Fitzwell had never stepped foot in bath and lotion store and wanted to try the array of fun fragrances. Nor had he purchased Peppermint Candy shower gel, foamed up his nether regions and felt like he had dipped them in lava. Dove crossed and uncrossed her legs at the memory.
Mr. Fitzwell seemed concerned. "Okay, just a heads up. It's definitely not good to put any fruits or plant life near your genitals." He made a 'V' with his two hands and formed his own pretend vagina in front of his pants.
Dove covered her eyes and tried to defend herself, because now she heard the sickly older woman beating her supporters with a purse.
Dove's mumbling got louder with her embarrassment. "I don't put weird things down... there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For vaginas." She kept her eyes on the counter.
Stop saying "vagina" you screaming asshole.
Welcome Bloggers and Authors!!
You have been carefully selected as a blogger or author who has put up with my nonsense before. This means three things. First, you’re amazing. Second, you have an open mind and third, you have a sense of humor.
I adore you for all those things. And now I want to do bad things to you. And not sexy bad things, just straight up horrible things to your beautiful mind.
You see, I’ve written the worst story ever told. Really. I liken it to Titanic meeting the Hangover, then humping Bridesmaids. It has romance, but also vivid second-hand embarrassment and potty humor. Because it is so tremendously awful, I thought it would be a wonderful way for you to torture your fellow blogger/author friends. Why not take this fantastic bond you have and utilize it to let me fart all over your imaginations?
How can you pass this up?
Okay, you can totally pass this up, I’ll understand completely. And I promise I will keep writing normal-ish books in the future too.
What the hell am I doing anyway?
I like to call this event the Fire Down Below Double Doggie-Style Blogger Dare Off. Which is a mouthful.
That’s what she said.
We can shorten it to: OH SHIT! if you prefer.
What you can do is sign up for this atrocious bullshit and tag one (or more) of your blogger/author friends and dare them to read it, too. Here is the sign up form: THIS FORM HERE
Do you have to tag a friend? Of course not!! You can totally just torture yourself. Or just close this tab in a fiery blaze of disgust. I get it.
You’ll notice that the famous Enn Bocci is running point for me on this. I’m legally required to tell you that this is against her free will. In a moment of weakness she shared her secret meatball recipe with me. It’s the leverage I have to force her to do my bidding.
The release date on this monstrosity is 2/28/15.
Attached is the cover and some “I’m daring you baby!” graphics to help lure your sweet friends into my web of evil.
If you and your buddy both finish Fire Down Below, send me an email and I’ll snail mail you a prize! A horrible, weird prize. (PS this is not a bribe-y thing, I just feel like it would be a fun cherry on top of this shit sundae for you both. International is okay!) Or I can force Nina to light a candle for your souls at church. Either way.
Hoping to have the ARCs out to you mid-February. The book is 60k, and below is the godforsaken summary and a few short excepts so you can sort of take a rectal temperature of this dreadful festivity before you commit.
I love you like my poodle loves the couch throw pillows. Which is a lot. Which sometimes involves a spray bottle of water. If you know what I mean. *Wink. *Wink.
(P.S. If you already signed up for the OTHER Fire Down Below form that Nina has running, tits okay! Follow the link and click the “I already did this numbnuts!” option and plug in the name(s) of your victims if you have any. You will also get the ARC if you signed up on Nina’s form and do nothing with this confusing email.)
(P.P.enis. If you have any questions hit me up!)
XO Debra
ARCs won't be ready for a few weeks!!! Hang tight. Or loose. No judgement! Just make sure to fill out the form with your email!!
Summary for FIRE DOWN BELOW:
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell temporary pharmacist at the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her UTI meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud. Like he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Due to Johnson’s sexy face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove finds herself stupidly asking for a vagina-scented cream in her waking nightmare.
She falls for him, how could she not? The only active goal Dove has now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. Johnson’s horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing that fabulous reality from taking shape. When Dove defends Johnson in the most disgusting way in the center of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in Holy Water by my mom and glared at with pursed lips by my father. Neither thing will help. Slap on your rubber gloves, turn to the left and cough. It’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Fire Down Below is book 1 in the Gynazule Series
Release Date: 2/28/15
Excerpt:Mr. Fitzwell squinted as if he could turn her volume up by making his eyes smaller. "I'm not sure. Are you allergic to any types of VAGINAL medicines?"
Dove's mouth started talking before her head could shut her up, "Uh...I need to use very gentle soaps because I have sensitive... parts." Her voice was getting higher and higher.
Mr. Fitzwell looked as professional as a brain surgeon. He clearly wanted her to have the correct information. There were definitely stifled chuckles behind her now. Dove was pretty sure her ass was blushing as well. The crack was sweating all on its own, like it was on a super high diving board about to jump.
"Ok, Ms. Glitch GYNAZULE is not a soap. It will not work if you put it in and then rinse it off in the shower." He began patting the prescription paper to emphasize his words.
Oh God. We're talking about me being naked, in the shower with cooter cream. Please world end. Kill me.
"I know it's not soap. I just... if it's scented... I can't do scented. Flowers and stuff like that. Fruit flavored soaps make... things... burnish." She could tell from the peeks at his face Mr. Fitzwell had never stepped foot in bath and lotion store and wanted to try the array of fun fragrances. Nor had he purchased Peppermint Candy shower gel, foamed up his nether regions and felt like he had dipped them in lava. Dove crossed and uncrossed her legs at the memory.
Mr. Fitzwell seemed concerned. "Okay, just a heads up. It's definitely not good to put any fruits or plant life near your genitals." He made a 'V' with his two hands and formed his own pretend vagina in front of his pants.
Dove covered her eyes and tried to defend herself, because now she heard the sickly older woman beating her supporters with a purse.
Dove's mumbling got louder with her embarrassment. "I don't put weird things down... there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For vaginas." She kept her eyes on the counter.
Stop saying "vagina" you screaming asshole.
February 1, 2015
Let's Be Breast Friends!! #FeelThemUp
Today on 1st of the month Romance Readers and Writers and Bloggers are coming together (you all have dirty minds and this is serious!) to do our monthly breast exam!! I'm asking that you do a self exam on the 1st and Tweet and Facebook #FeelThemUp ! We are going to do this EVERY month until the Internet gives up. Join me at @Debra_Anastasia on Twitter and HERE on Facebook
It occurred to me that on that majestic day, a few readers, writers, and bloggers might actually find a lump or something suspicious. I want to make sure that ladies have good information, websites and forums to turn to.I have no medical advice to offer, but the links below can help guide you through any questions you might have, but always, always make an appointment with your doctor if you have a question or lumps or anything!! They are there to help you.
Please take a peak at these links for more information on breast cancer and a how to by some sexy dudes.
NationalBreastCancer.org
Komen.org
It occurred to me that on that majestic day, a few readers, writers, and bloggers might actually find a lump or something suspicious. I want to make sure that ladies have good information, websites and forums to turn to.I have no medical advice to offer, but the links below can help guide you through any questions you might have, but always, always make an appointment with your doctor if you have a question or lumps or anything!! They are there to help you.
Please take a peak at these links for more information on breast cancer and a how to by some sexy dudes.
NationalBreastCancer.org
Komen.org
Let's be Breast Friends!! #FeelThemUp
Today on 1st of the month Romance Readers and Writers and Bloggers are coming together (you all have dirty minds and this is serious!) to do our monthly breast exam!! I'm asking that you do a self exam on the 1st and Tweet and Facebook #FeelThemUp ! We are going to do this EVERY month until the Internet gives up. Join me at @Debra_Anastasia on Twitter and HERE on Facebook
It occurred to me that on that majestic day, a few readers, writers, and bloggers might actually find a lump or something suspicious. I want to make sure that ladies have good information, websites and forums to turn to.I have no medical advice to offer, but the links below can help guide you through any questions you might have, but always, always make an appointment with your doctor if you have a question or lumps or anything!! They are there to help you.
Please take a peak at these links for more information on breast cancer and a how to by some sexy dudes.
NationalBreastCancer.org
Komen.org
It occurred to me that on that majestic day, a few readers, writers, and bloggers might actually find a lump or something suspicious. I want to make sure that ladies have good information, websites and forums to turn to.I have no medical advice to offer, but the links below can help guide you through any questions you might have, but always, always make an appointment with your doctor if you have a question or lumps or anything!! They are there to help you.
Please take a peak at these links for more information on breast cancer and a how to by some sexy dudes.
NationalBreastCancer.org
Komen.org
January 29, 2015
MORE Praise for FIRE DOWN BELOW
SO much praise for FIRE DOWN BELOW!! Most from people that haven't even read it. Mind-boggling. Pre-order this epic love story today!! Before it runs out!!! (Okay, it's print on demand and eBook, only an act of Congress can make it disappear. And that's not likely. Okay, it's kind of likely. Shit. :/ )
January 27, 2015
PRE-ORDER LINKS!!!!! FIRE DOWN BELOW!!!!!
PRE-ORDER LINKS for FIRE DOWN BELOW!!!!
Kindle US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SSGACEM
Kindle UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00SSGACEM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0
Kindle AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B00SSGACEM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0
KoBo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/fire-down-below-3
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id961776576
Nook: TBA
"I'd like to remove myself from this spam list." ~Teresa Mummert NYT Bestseller
"No." ~Jamie McGuire #1 NYT Bestseller
"I have not read this book." ~ Aesta's Book Blog
"If this book is anything like her crazy tweets, then we are too scared to read it." ~ The Rock Stars of Romance Book Blog
"Debra is the queen of s@!ts and giggles." ~ Tijan NYT Bestseller
"Crap. Why won't you go away?" K.A. Robinson NYT Bestseller
"You couldn't pay me enough." Tara Sue Me NYT Bestseller
"You can't be serious." JM Darhower USA Today Bestseller
"That's a big, tall glass of nope." Angie Lynch CEO and President of Shameless Book Club
"This book is about as cringe-worthy as a raging UTI." Helena Hunting Amazing Author
"This book gave my vagina nightmares for a week. What the hell was Debra thinking?!" ~Leisa Rayven Amazing Author
"I like to read Debra's work on the crapper in case I run out of toilet paper." CJ Roberts NYT Bestseller
"I've had the worst gas since I read Debra Anastasia's latest. Rip, full, wretched gas that singes my butt hairs on the way out. A week later I'm still walking funny." Kendall Grey Amazing Author
"This cover gives me vaginal discomfort. Someone pass the Monistat." Tara Sivec NYT Bestseller
"I might read this book if I wasn't so afraid of catching something." Tina Reber NYT Bestseller
"It itches so bad." Ella Fox USA Today Bestseller
"Can I un-read this? No? Do you have holy water so I can wash my eyes?" - King Midian
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Kindle US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SSGACEM
Kindle UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00SSGACEM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0
Kindle AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B00SSGACEM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0
KoBo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/fire-down-below-3
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id961776576
Nook: TBA
"I'd like to remove myself from this spam list." ~Teresa Mummert NYT Bestseller
"No." ~Jamie McGuire #1 NYT Bestseller
"I have not read this book." ~ Aesta's Book Blog
"If this book is anything like her crazy tweets, then we are too scared to read it." ~ The Rock Stars of Romance Book Blog
"Debra is the queen of s@!ts and giggles." ~ Tijan NYT Bestseller
"Crap. Why won't you go away?" K.A. Robinson NYT Bestseller
"You couldn't pay me enough." Tara Sue Me NYT Bestseller
"You can't be serious." JM Darhower USA Today Bestseller
"That's a big, tall glass of nope." Angie Lynch CEO and President of Shameless Book Club
"This book is about as cringe-worthy as a raging UTI." Helena Hunting Amazing Author
"This book gave my vagina nightmares for a week. What the hell was Debra thinking?!" ~Leisa Rayven Amazing Author
"I like to read Debra's work on the crapper in case I run out of toilet paper." CJ Roberts NYT Bestseller
"I've had the worst gas since I read Debra Anastasia's latest. Rip, full, wretched gas that singes my butt hairs on the way out. A week later I'm still walking funny." Kendall Grey Amazing Author
"This cover gives me vaginal discomfort. Someone pass the Monistat." Tara Sivec NYT Bestseller
"I might read this book if I wasn't so afraid of catching something." Tina Reber NYT Bestseller
"It itches so bad." Ella Fox USA Today Bestseller
"Can I un-read this? No? Do you have holy water so I can wash my eyes?" - King Midian
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
