Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 77
July 18, 2013
Balloon People
My kids were bored today. "Mama, there's nothing to do!" they whined.
I had work to do, so I didn't feel like stopping to entertain them. "I'm sure you can figure something out," I said.
My son poked around and found some packages of balloons. He opened them and started blowing up the balloons. After each one, he'd bring it over to me. "Mama, can you tie this?"
I must've tied at least twenty of those slimy things.
"What are you going to do with them?" I asked.
"You'll see." He went and got a Sharpie Marker and some masking tape. He taped the balloons together so that they looked like a head with two arms. Then he drew a face on one of them. "It's a creeper, Mama. A zombie creeper!"
I glanced over at it. "Interesting."
He drew some more faces on the other balloons. So did my daughter. "This one's name is Bob," she said.
"And this one is Jimmy," my son added.
I nodded. "Okay."
"Do you know what you have to do, Mama?" Bubba asked.
"No. What do I have to do?" I asked.
"You have to protect Bob and Jimmy from the creeper.
Oh.
So now I have a couple of balloon people staring at me, begging me to keep them safe.
Here's Bob:
And here's Jimmy:
(Hmmm. Jimmy appears to be having some issues. Maybe he's afraid of the zombie.)
I had work to do, so I didn't feel like stopping to entertain them. "I'm sure you can figure something out," I said.
My son poked around and found some packages of balloons. He opened them and started blowing up the balloons. After each one, he'd bring it over to me. "Mama, can you tie this?"
I must've tied at least twenty of those slimy things.
"What are you going to do with them?" I asked.
"You'll see." He went and got a Sharpie Marker and some masking tape. He taped the balloons together so that they looked like a head with two arms. Then he drew a face on one of them. "It's a creeper, Mama. A zombie creeper!"
I glanced over at it. "Interesting."
He drew some more faces on the other balloons. So did my daughter. "This one's name is Bob," she said.
"And this one is Jimmy," my son added.
I nodded. "Okay."
"Do you know what you have to do, Mama?" Bubba asked.
"No. What do I have to do?" I asked.
"You have to protect Bob and Jimmy from the creeper.
Oh.
So now I have a couple of balloon people staring at me, begging me to keep them safe.
Here's Bob:
And here's Jimmy:
(Hmmm. Jimmy appears to be having some issues. Maybe he's afraid of the zombie.) 
July 17, 2013
Hide and Go Seek
My eight-year-old son wanted to play hide and seek in the 90 degree heat today. I thought he was nuts, but I went along with it, since I'm sure his hide-and-go-seek playing days are numbered.
He hid first. It didn't take long for me to find him because I noticed leaves falling out of the magnolia tree he had climbed. "Mama, how did you do that so fast?" he asked.
"I'm the Mama, that's how," I replied.
Then it was my turn. I ran into the back yard and quickly scanned it for a good place. I saw one - right behind the riding mower in the far corner. I stooped down and waited. And waited. And waited. I was there for fifteen minutes, and Bubba couldn't find me. I peeked around the corner and saw him walk past me, through the gate, into the driveway.
Two minutes later, he sent the dog out to find me. Our big German Shepherd got distracted when he saw the dogs next door. So he didn't find me either. I watched my boy walk around the back yard again and go to the front of the house. I decided to change my place to help him out a little. I walked into our garage and sat on the step in front of the door.
And guess what? The boy still didn't find me! I watched him pass me twice as he walked around. Finally, he saw me. He totally cracked up. "Were you there the whole time?"
"Not quite, Bubba. But I saw you pass me a couple of times."
"Mama, you're way too good at this game!"
I guess that's because I've had a lot of practice!
He hid first. It didn't take long for me to find him because I noticed leaves falling out of the magnolia tree he had climbed. "Mama, how did you do that so fast?" he asked.
"I'm the Mama, that's how," I replied.
Then it was my turn. I ran into the back yard and quickly scanned it for a good place. I saw one - right behind the riding mower in the far corner. I stooped down and waited. And waited. And waited. I was there for fifteen minutes, and Bubba couldn't find me. I peeked around the corner and saw him walk past me, through the gate, into the driveway.
Two minutes later, he sent the dog out to find me. Our big German Shepherd got distracted when he saw the dogs next door. So he didn't find me either. I watched my boy walk around the back yard again and go to the front of the house. I decided to change my place to help him out a little. I walked into our garage and sat on the step in front of the door.
And guess what? The boy still didn't find me! I watched him pass me twice as he walked around. Finally, he saw me. He totally cracked up. "Were you there the whole time?"
"Not quite, Bubba. But I saw you pass me a couple of times."
"Mama, you're way too good at this game!"
I guess that's because I've had a lot of practice!
July 16, 2013
Catching Rainbows
I was watering the flowers when my son came over to watch. "Mama, can I do that?"
"Sure, Bubba. I'll go pull a few weeds."
He took the hose and began watering. I went off to do my thing.
A few minutes later I looked over at him. He was playing with the water and not watering a single plant. "Bubba, what are you doing?"
"Catching rainbows."
"What are you talking about, Bubba?"
"I'm making rainbows with the water and touching them. Except they don't feel like anything."
I laughed. "That's because they're caused by the sun passing through water. It's a prism effect."
He kept grabbing for the rainbows. "Maybe I'll find one that's different."
Right. (Who knows... perhaps if he's lucky he'll find a pot of gold at the end of it!)
"Sure, Bubba. I'll go pull a few weeds."
He took the hose and began watering. I went off to do my thing.
A few minutes later I looked over at him. He was playing with the water and not watering a single plant. "Bubba, what are you doing?"
"Catching rainbows."
"What are you talking about, Bubba?"
"I'm making rainbows with the water and touching them. Except they don't feel like anything."
I laughed. "That's because they're caused by the sun passing through water. It's a prism effect."
He kept grabbing for the rainbows. "Maybe I'll find one that's different."
Right. (Who knows... perhaps if he's lucky he'll find a pot of gold at the end of it!)
July 15, 2013
Impromptu Birthday Party
It's almost my son's birthday. We have a party with the family this Saturday, but many of his friends aren't able to make it. Bubba was upset, because he really wanted a last birthday party with them before we move. "Mama, can't you make a party?" he asked.
"I'll see what I can do, Bubba," I said.
This morning I looked at the calendar. No showings. No appointments. "Bubba," I said. "Get your friends together. We're having a party."
I went to the store and got pizza, cake mix, chips, balloons, and other assorted party supplies. I went to work making the cake (He wanted a Minecraft party theme, so it was a square cake with a sword and pick on it). We blew up balloons and decorated the house. A short while later, a lot of boys invaded our house. They ate pizza and cake and played Minecraft on Xbox 360.
"Mama, that was awesome!" Bubba said afterwards.
Yep. Not bad for an impromptu party!
"I'll see what I can do, Bubba," I said.
This morning I looked at the calendar. No showings. No appointments. "Bubba," I said. "Get your friends together. We're having a party."
I went to the store and got pizza, cake mix, chips, balloons, and other assorted party supplies. I went to work making the cake (He wanted a Minecraft party theme, so it was a square cake with a sword and pick on it). We blew up balloons and decorated the house. A short while later, a lot of boys invaded our house. They ate pizza and cake and played Minecraft on Xbox 360.
"Mama, that was awesome!" Bubba said afterwards.
Yep. Not bad for an impromptu party!
July 14, 2013
The Science Experiments
My family must've been feeling very scientific yesterday, because they came up with a couple of interesting experiments.
"Mama," my eight-year-old son said. "Can we have some sand?"
"What for, Bubba?" I asked.
"You'll see."
I got some sand. My kids put it out under the hot sun and got a magnifying glass. It looked like they were trying to direct a sunbeam onto the pile of sand. "Um, what exactly are you doing?" I asked. "Starting a fire?"
"No, Mama. We're trying to make the sand really hot to turn it into glass."
I had to explain that the little sand to glass process was something that should take place in a furnace and not in the middle of my driveway.
Fast forward about an hour.
"Do you want to see my experiment?" my husband asked.
I couldn't wait to see what he was up to. I followed him out to the middle of my driveway. (Yes, another experiment in my driveway.) I saw a bucket with bubbling fluid in it. "What is that?"
"Battery acid," my husband explained. "I'm neutralizing it by mixing it with four boxes of baking soda."
"Oh," I said. "So what does it do - turn into water?"
"Actually, yes," my husband replied.
My son heard that and put his two cents in. "So can we drink it when it's done neutralizing?"
"Absolutely not!" I said. "I don't care how neutralized it gets. Nobody is ingesting something that was once battery acid!"
Oy gewalt!
"Mama," my eight-year-old son said. "Can we have some sand?"
"What for, Bubba?" I asked.
"You'll see."
I got some sand. My kids put it out under the hot sun and got a magnifying glass. It looked like they were trying to direct a sunbeam onto the pile of sand. "Um, what exactly are you doing?" I asked. "Starting a fire?"
"No, Mama. We're trying to make the sand really hot to turn it into glass."
I had to explain that the little sand to glass process was something that should take place in a furnace and not in the middle of my driveway.
Fast forward about an hour.
"Do you want to see my experiment?" my husband asked.
I couldn't wait to see what he was up to. I followed him out to the middle of my driveway. (Yes, another experiment in my driveway.) I saw a bucket with bubbling fluid in it. "What is that?"
"Battery acid," my husband explained. "I'm neutralizing it by mixing it with four boxes of baking soda."
"Oh," I said. "So what does it do - turn into water?"
"Actually, yes," my husband replied.
My son heard that and put his two cents in. "So can we drink it when it's done neutralizing?"
"Absolutely not!" I said. "I don't care how neutralized it gets. Nobody is ingesting something that was once battery acid!"
Oy gewalt!
July 12, 2013
Daddy in Training
I took my kids to the playground today while we had another showing on the house. Usually I'm the one standing around pushing my son on the swing. Today, I felt like swinging.
I parked myself in the swing and started pumping.
"Wait, Mama," Bubba said. "Let me push you!"
"You don't have to do that. I know how to swing," I said.
"But I want to."
"Okay." I let him push.
Five minutes later he was done.
"Do you think I'll be a good daddy someday?" he asked. "Because I'm a really good swing pusher!"
"Absolutely," I said. "You'll be fantastic!"
I parked myself in the swing and started pumping.
"Wait, Mama," Bubba said. "Let me push you!"
"You don't have to do that. I know how to swing," I said.
"But I want to."
"Okay." I let him push.
Five minutes later he was done.
"Do you think I'll be a good daddy someday?" he asked. "Because I'm a really good swing pusher!"
"Absolutely," I said. "You'll be fantastic!"
July 11, 2013
Flash Flood
Yesterday evening, we had a torrential downpour. The result was a huge flood in the cul-de-sac of our street. The water was literally waist-high at the deepest part. After it stopped raining, all the neighbors came out of their homes to gawk and take pictures. While the adults stood around, the kids had other ideas. They put on their bathing suits, grabbed their pool toys and jumped in.
They played happily, floating on colorful inner tubes and pool noodles until a little something spoiled the fun.
"Mama!" my son shrieked. "Help!"
I quickly ran over to where he was. "What is it?"
He pointed to his leg. A giant spider was crawling up it and was about to sneak under the short leg of his bathing suit. "Get it off!"
I whacked that thing into the water, unfortunately not before it bit my son.
Bad spider! I hope he landed in the sewer and drowned because that's what he deserved for biting my boy and ruining the fun!
They played happily, floating on colorful inner tubes and pool noodles until a little something spoiled the fun.
"Mama!" my son shrieked. "Help!"
I quickly ran over to where he was. "What is it?"
He pointed to his leg. A giant spider was crawling up it and was about to sneak under the short leg of his bathing suit. "Get it off!"
I whacked that thing into the water, unfortunately not before it bit my son.
Bad spider! I hope he landed in the sewer and drowned because that's what he deserved for biting my boy and ruining the fun!
July 9, 2013
Schultz and the Bumblebee
For those of you who don't know Schultz, he is our 100 pound German Shepherd. He's also a little crazy. This morning I took him outside to do his business. He sniffed around and then stopped at the hydrangea bush. His tail curled up and he went into full pounce mode.
"Schultz, what are you doing?" I asked.
His furry body was frozen into position. He didn't move a muscle. I knew he was stalking something, but I didn't know what. A mole? A chipmunk?
About ten seconds later, a huge bumblebee emerged from the bush. Schultz pounced. And the bee landed right on his nose. I don't think it stung him, but boy, was he startled!
He sneezed and the bee took off.
"You're lucky that wasn't a yellow jacket, Schultz, or your nose would be the size of a baseball right now!" I said.
He looked at me and sneezed.
Hopefully that'll be the last time he tries pouncing on a bumblebee!
"Schultz, what are you doing?" I asked.
His furry body was frozen into position. He didn't move a muscle. I knew he was stalking something, but I didn't know what. A mole? A chipmunk?
About ten seconds later, a huge bumblebee emerged from the bush. Schultz pounced. And the bee landed right on his nose. I don't think it stung him, but boy, was he startled!
He sneezed and the bee took off.
"You're lucky that wasn't a yellow jacket, Schultz, or your nose would be the size of a baseball right now!" I said.
He looked at me and sneezed.
Hopefully that'll be the last time he tries pouncing on a bumblebee!
July 8, 2013
Scan Man
I took my boy to the grocery store today, and of course he started chit-chatting with one of the workers.
"What's in your hand?" he asked.
"A scanner," the lady replied.
"What does it do?"
"It reads bar codes and then makes a beep noise."
"Cool. Can I try?"
The lady gave Bubba the scanner and showed him what to do. At first he had a little trouble, but then he got the hang of it. Pretty soon he was making all kinds of beeping sounds. "This is awesome! When I grow up I'm going to be a scanner!"
The lady smiled. "It's fun for about five minutes and then it gets kind of boring."
"No, it doesn't! I'm going to scan everything in the store!"
He scanned a whole shelf of products.
The lady laughed. "This is pretty good. I think I'll just let him do my job and stand here and watch!"
Bubba grinned. "I'm the Scan Man!"
"What's in your hand?" he asked.
"A scanner," the lady replied.
"What does it do?"
"It reads bar codes and then makes a beep noise."
"Cool. Can I try?"
The lady gave Bubba the scanner and showed him what to do. At first he had a little trouble, but then he got the hang of it. Pretty soon he was making all kinds of beeping sounds. "This is awesome! When I grow up I'm going to be a scanner!"
The lady smiled. "It's fun for about five minutes and then it gets kind of boring."
"No, it doesn't! I'm going to scan everything in the store!"
He scanned a whole shelf of products.
The lady laughed. "This is pretty good. I think I'll just let him do my job and stand here and watch!"
Bubba grinned. "I'm the Scan Man!"
July 6, 2013
The To-Do List
My husband came home after being gone for a week. Like any good wife, I had a list of things for him to do.
I let him put his things down, use the bathroom, and get a quick bite to eat. And then I started.
"The new printer doesn't seem to be working. Can you see what's up with that? Because I really need to print out some manuscripts."
He looked at me. "Sure. It needs new software installed. I'll work on it in a little while."
"Could you put up the new blinds in the bathroom, too?"
"Sure."
"And could you get me the information for the new schools for the kids, so I can register them?"
He nodded and went to work.
When he finished with the printer, I went online to do my thing. But it still didn't work. "Excuse me," I said. "We need a 25 digit product key to get this thing to work. Could you find that for me?"
I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Woman, leave me alone!"
I grinned. "Just doing my job!"
I let him put his things down, use the bathroom, and get a quick bite to eat. And then I started.
"The new printer doesn't seem to be working. Can you see what's up with that? Because I really need to print out some manuscripts."
He looked at me. "Sure. It needs new software installed. I'll work on it in a little while."
"Could you put up the new blinds in the bathroom, too?"
"Sure."
"And could you get me the information for the new schools for the kids, so I can register them?"
He nodded and went to work.
When he finished with the printer, I went online to do my thing. But it still didn't work. "Excuse me," I said. "We need a 25 digit product key to get this thing to work. Could you find that for me?"
I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Woman, leave me alone!"
I grinned. "Just doing my job!"
