Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 37
June 19, 2015
The Big Chase
Schultz, our hundred-pound German Shepherd is very proud of himself. He did a good job shepherding. At least that's what he thinks.
Yesterday evening, the dog was outside playing fetch with his tennis ball. Half-way through the game, he stopped. He turned his attention to the fenced-in retaining area that's surrounded by huge holly bushes at the edge of our property. He stood perfectly still, listening intently. Then he raised his paw, like he was pointing. (He actually does point. When he wants to play the flashlight game, he goes to the closet where the flashlight is, and points.)
"What is it, boy?" I asked.
He pointed again.
I knew there must be something in the retaining area. "Go get it!" I said.
He did.
You should've heard the commotion! I had no idea what could possibly be making that kind of raucous.
I found out soon enough.
Less than two minutes later, six very frightened deer burst out with Schultz in hot pursuit. He chased those deer half way down the street, until they were well out of our territory.
Then he trotted back, his long pink tongue flopping about, looking quite pleased with himself.
Before I go, I would like to thank Medeia Sharif for reviewing my new book, Ten Zany Birds, and featuring it on her blog. That was a great surprise!
June 18, 2015
Infectious Laughter
The other day, I took my husband (and kids) to a really nice restaurant to celebrate his birthday. It was one of those places with the lights down low, fancy tablecloths, and candles on the table. A place where one should behave in a civilized manner.
Apparently, my son didn't get the memo on that last part. He was overtired, and in a completely silly mood. The boy started laughing. Not just any old laugh - a fully belly laugh. Soon, he was laughing so hard, he was crying. I looked at my husband. He looked at me. Then he looked back at my son. Big mistake. The man had caught the laughing bug. Soon, he was crying, just like Bubba.
I looked at my daughter. She looked at me. Then I made the mistake of looking at my husband. I bet you can't guess what happened next. Yes. I started laughing, too. Soon, tears were rolling out of my eyeballs. I could barely breath.
I bet you're wondering if my daughter resisted the laughing bug. No. She caught it just after me. Soon all four of us were laughing uncontrollably.
This silliness lasted at least five minutes.
When it finally stopped, I looked over at Bubba. "Dude, what were we laughing about?"
He shrugged. "I don't know!"
Apparently, my son didn't get the memo on that last part. He was overtired, and in a completely silly mood. The boy started laughing. Not just any old laugh - a fully belly laugh. Soon, he was laughing so hard, he was crying. I looked at my husband. He looked at me. Then he looked back at my son. Big mistake. The man had caught the laughing bug. Soon, he was crying, just like Bubba.
I looked at my daughter. She looked at me. Then I made the mistake of looking at my husband. I bet you can't guess what happened next. Yes. I started laughing, too. Soon, tears were rolling out of my eyeballs. I could barely breath.
I bet you're wondering if my daughter resisted the laughing bug. No. She caught it just after me. Soon all four of us were laughing uncontrollably.
This silliness lasted at least five minutes.
When it finally stopped, I looked over at Bubba. "Dude, what were we laughing about?"
He shrugged. "I don't know!"
June 15, 2015
Breaking and Entering
Here's another story from my recent trip to Tennessee. The purpose of the trip was to see my mom for her birthday. We had rented a cabin (selected by my mom's husband) and had planned to spend time kayaking, hiking, and swimming (which we did). The place was in a secluded area - no wi-fi connections anywhere. I think the nearest store was about 40 minutes away.
As we drove down a narrow dirt and gravel road, my kids and I wondered what the heck we were getting ourselves into. Dilapidated shacks that had to be at least seventy years old, rested at the edge of cliffs among fallen down trees. I strained my eyes trying to see the addresses.
Meanwhile, in the back seat, my daughter was complaining that she had to use the bathroom.
"Okay," I said. "Hang on. We're almost there."
I found a few addresses and noticed they were going up in number. We had passed our destination. Somehow, I managed to turn around, and retraced our path. I couldn't see the addresses, but I took a wild guess as to which house it was. I pulled up the steep gravel driveway, hoping not to get a flat tire or do other serious damage to my car.
"Okay, kids," I said. "You can get out now."
"Is this the place?" my daughter asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't see an address, but I'm going to guess this is it."
We walked up some poorly made wooden steps.
"This looks like one of my really bad Minecraft houses," my son said.
"Um hmmm," I mumbled after stumbling on a step that had to be ten inches tall (after one that was four inches tall).
We got up to the front porch, which was more like a covered deck. I knocked on the sliding glass doors. Nobody was home. So I opened the doors.
"Mom!" my daughter said. "What are you doing? You don't even know if this is the right place!"
"Okay," I said. "You have a choice. Since you have to go to the bathroom, you can either find a bush, or use the bathroom here."
She chose the poorly constructed Minecraft bathroom. (The floors were slanted, so the toilet was actually tipped to the side. I kid you not!)
While she was in the bathroom, I wandered around and found my Mom's stuff. I knew we were in the right place.
So ladies and gentlemen, that's the story of me breaking and entering, and of the first class accommodations we had on our adventure to Tennessee.
As we drove down a narrow dirt and gravel road, my kids and I wondered what the heck we were getting ourselves into. Dilapidated shacks that had to be at least seventy years old, rested at the edge of cliffs among fallen down trees. I strained my eyes trying to see the addresses.
Meanwhile, in the back seat, my daughter was complaining that she had to use the bathroom.
"Okay," I said. "Hang on. We're almost there."
I found a few addresses and noticed they were going up in number. We had passed our destination. Somehow, I managed to turn around, and retraced our path. I couldn't see the addresses, but I took a wild guess as to which house it was. I pulled up the steep gravel driveway, hoping not to get a flat tire or do other serious damage to my car.
"Okay, kids," I said. "You can get out now."
"Is this the place?" my daughter asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't see an address, but I'm going to guess this is it."
We walked up some poorly made wooden steps.
"This looks like one of my really bad Minecraft houses," my son said.
"Um hmmm," I mumbled after stumbling on a step that had to be ten inches tall (after one that was four inches tall).
We got up to the front porch, which was more like a covered deck. I knocked on the sliding glass doors. Nobody was home. So I opened the doors.
"Mom!" my daughter said. "What are you doing? You don't even know if this is the right place!"
"Okay," I said. "You have a choice. Since you have to go to the bathroom, you can either find a bush, or use the bathroom here."
She chose the poorly constructed Minecraft bathroom. (The floors were slanted, so the toilet was actually tipped to the side. I kid you not!)
While she was in the bathroom, I wandered around and found my Mom's stuff. I knew we were in the right place.
So ladies and gentlemen, that's the story of me breaking and entering, and of the first class accommodations we had on our adventure to Tennessee.
June 12, 2015
A Little Bit Lost
My kids and I went on vacation to Tennessee. We ended up going through a very secluded area in the mountains where road signs were pretty much non-existent. When situations like that arise, I rely on my Garmin. That's not always a good idea. Garmins are easily confused.
When my Garmin insisted that I go down a dead-end road, I knew we were lost. So what did I do? What any other female would do: I asked for directions. Except the only person I found was an old dude standing next to his John Deere tractor on the side of the road.
I rolled down my window. "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get to 135 North?"
He studied me for two seconds, and then started talking in his Tennessee drawl. "Well, it ain't down that way. That there is a dead end road."
"Yeah," I said. "I already figured that out." I pointed to my Garmin. "Stupid here thought that was the way to go." "(Yes, I named my Garmin, "Stupid.")
"You have to go to the truck stop," he said. "Do you know where that is?"
I shook my head. "No, sir. I'm not from around here."
"You're visiting?"
"Yes, sir."
"How long?"
"Three days."
"Maybe I can take you for a motorcycle ride."
Seriously?
"Uh, no thanks. I just want to get to my destination."
After a lot of listening to him talk about left turns and right turns and fourth traffic lights, I decided the dude with the tractor was not the best person to get directions from. I thanked him for his time.
"If you want that motorcycle ride, just let me know," he said as I pulled away.
Uh huh.
(Meanwhile, in the back seat of my car, my kids were listening to the whole thing. "Mom," my daughter said after we had gotten away from that guy. "That was dangerous! You shouldn't talk to strangers!" She might have a point!)
Now, for those of you who like pictures, here's a picture of one of the places I visited: Burgess Falls.
When my Garmin insisted that I go down a dead-end road, I knew we were lost. So what did I do? What any other female would do: I asked for directions. Except the only person I found was an old dude standing next to his John Deere tractor on the side of the road.
I rolled down my window. "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get to 135 North?"
He studied me for two seconds, and then started talking in his Tennessee drawl. "Well, it ain't down that way. That there is a dead end road."
"Yeah," I said. "I already figured that out." I pointed to my Garmin. "Stupid here thought that was the way to go." "(Yes, I named my Garmin, "Stupid.")
"You have to go to the truck stop," he said. "Do you know where that is?"
I shook my head. "No, sir. I'm not from around here."
"You're visiting?"
"Yes, sir."
"How long?"
"Three days."
"Maybe I can take you for a motorcycle ride."
Seriously?
"Uh, no thanks. I just want to get to my destination."
After a lot of listening to him talk about left turns and right turns and fourth traffic lights, I decided the dude with the tractor was not the best person to get directions from. I thanked him for his time.
"If you want that motorcycle ride, just let me know," he said as I pulled away.
Uh huh.
(Meanwhile, in the back seat of my car, my kids were listening to the whole thing. "Mom," my daughter said after we had gotten away from that guy. "That was dangerous! You shouldn't talk to strangers!" She might have a point!)
Now, for those of you who like pictures, here's a picture of one of the places I visited: Burgess Falls.
June 8, 2015
Dog vs Truck
It's summer vacation, and the, "Mom, I'm bored," comment has already surfaced.
When Bubba said it, I said, "Find something to do!"
He did. It involved a remote-control truck and a very large German Shepherd.
I walked into the kitchen and nearly tripped over a miniature monster truck with huge rubber wheels. It was in pursuit of a four-legged canine named Schultz. Schultz was clearly not happy about having his afternoon nap disturbed. He went to all of his favorite spots, but was chased of by the truck.
Bubba thought that was great fun. Until Schultz decided to do something about it. When that motorized vehicle approached the furry beast and bumped into his nose, Schultz took action. He jumped up, grabbed that thing in his enormous mouth, and ran off.
Fortunately, Schultz was very gentle, so the truck wasn't damaged, but that was the end of Bubba's little game!
Before I go, I would like to thank Diana Jenkins for featuring my new book, Ten Zany Birds, on her blog. It was a wonderful, unexpected surprise!
(I also want to say, that I'm sorry I've been sporadic about posting. Between vacations, the kids being home, and all the stuff I'm trying to do, it's been really rough for me to be online to blog. Hopefully things will settle down in a while, and I'll be more regular.)
When Bubba said it, I said, "Find something to do!"
He did. It involved a remote-control truck and a very large German Shepherd.
I walked into the kitchen and nearly tripped over a miniature monster truck with huge rubber wheels. It was in pursuit of a four-legged canine named Schultz. Schultz was clearly not happy about having his afternoon nap disturbed. He went to all of his favorite spots, but was chased of by the truck.
Bubba thought that was great fun. Until Schultz decided to do something about it. When that motorized vehicle approached the furry beast and bumped into his nose, Schultz took action. He jumped up, grabbed that thing in his enormous mouth, and ran off.
Fortunately, Schultz was very gentle, so the truck wasn't damaged, but that was the end of Bubba's little game!
Before I go, I would like to thank Diana Jenkins for featuring my new book, Ten Zany Birds, on her blog. It was a wonderful, unexpected surprise!
(I also want to say, that I'm sorry I've been sporadic about posting. Between vacations, the kids being home, and all the stuff I'm trying to do, it's been really rough for me to be online to blog. Hopefully things will settle down in a while, and I'll be more regular.)
June 2, 2015
Snack Binge
Tomorrow Bubba, my ten-year-old son, gets braces. And you know what that means. No more popcorn, gum, caramel, or gummy worms! The boy is not pleased.
"Mama," he said. "Can we go to the store?"
"What for?" I asked.
"So I can get a box of popcorn . . . and potato chips, and gummy worms."
"Bubba, you're not going to binge on snacks. I'll make you some popcorn, but if you eat all that other stuff, you'll gain ten pounds in one day!"
He shrugged. "But I'll have two years to lose it."
Right.
Before I go, I would like to give a huge thanks to Janie Junebug, for featuring Ten Zany Birds on her blog, Tracy, for featuring That Mama is a Grouch on her blog, and Medeia and Deanie for their reviews of Ten Zany Birds! You guys rock!
Also, I found out that there was a problem with the Kindle version of Ten Zany Birds, where the text did not appear in the conversion. It looked like a wordless picture book. It's been fixed. If you purchased the Kindle version, and did not receive the update, please let me know and I'll send a PDF. (The hard copy is fine.)
"Mama," he said. "Can we go to the store?"
"What for?" I asked.
"So I can get a box of popcorn . . . and potato chips, and gummy worms."
"Bubba, you're not going to binge on snacks. I'll make you some popcorn, but if you eat all that other stuff, you'll gain ten pounds in one day!"
He shrugged. "But I'll have two years to lose it."
Right.
Before I go, I would like to give a huge thanks to Janie Junebug, for featuring Ten Zany Birds on her blog, Tracy, for featuring That Mama is a Grouch on her blog, and Medeia and Deanie for their reviews of Ten Zany Birds! You guys rock!
Also, I found out that there was a problem with the Kindle version of Ten Zany Birds, where the text did not appear in the conversion. It looked like a wordless picture book. It's been fixed. If you purchased the Kindle version, and did not receive the update, please let me know and I'll send a PDF. (The hard copy is fine.)
May 30, 2015
Favorite Summer Vacation Spot Blog Hop - Cozumel
Today, I'm participating in the Favorite Summer Vacation Spot blog hop, hosted by Lexa Cain. My favorite destination? Cozumel, Mexico. Specifically, the Scuba Club resort located there.
These pictures are from 1995, so we're talking ancient history, but I thought you'd all enjoy seeing the place, rather than me just blabbering about it.
This is a Scuba diver's paradise. You get up in the morning, have a traditional Mexican breakfast, and then head out on the dive boats for a little of this:
When you get back, you hose off your Scuba gear, hose off yourself, grab some lunch, and do a little of this:
In case you're feeling adventurous, you can take a little trip - either stay on the island to see the center of town or some ruins, or go for the ferry ride to the mainland and see this:
(This is Chitzen Itza, in case you don't recognize it. Very cool place!)
At night, it's time for a fiesta. On the beach. You might even try doing this:
Yes, that's me, taking a swing at the piñata. Let me tell you, I did an awesome job messing that thing up!
If you're not tired after all that, you might try doing a night dive. Another very cool thing. Or go into town and dance the night away at one of the discos. Let me tell you how crazy that can get!
When it's all done, you might grab a few hours of sleep. Then you'll get up and to it all again.
It's been a long time since I've been to Cozumel, but after four times there, I'd say it's still one of my favorite vacation destinations!
Here's one more picture for the road, just for those of you who like pictures. This one was taken at the Cozumel airport, and this is the group I went with in 1995. I am in the first row, third from the left, wearing a white shirt and black shorts:
I hope you enjoyed my favorite vacation destination. What's yours?
A little add-on: I didn't realize this was co-hosted by a lot of bloggers. They're doing giveaways, so be sure to check them all out:
Lexa Cain: http://lexacain.blogspot.com/
Melanie Karsak: http://www.melaniekarsak.com/
T.F. Walsh: http://www.tfwalsh.com/blog/
Vanessa Morgan: http://vanessa-morgan.blogspot.com/
Jolie Du Pre: http://www.preciousmonsters.com/
Stuart R. West: http://stuartrwest.blogspot.com
May 29, 2015
Croaky Conversations
It sounds like I live in an Amazon rainforest. Why? Well, it has something to do with a certain amphibian that lives under our roof. He's an African clawed frog, and his name is Croaky.
Croaky likes to croak. Usually, he has nobody to croak to, because he lives all by himself in his tank. Things have been a little different this week, though. We seem to have a plethora of tree frogs in the forest. And it's mating season. You would not believe the sounds emanating from the woods behind our house! Those little buggers go from dawn to dusk. Croaky is absolutely thrilled. He's croaking all night now, trying to attract the attention of a lady frog out there.
There's just one problem. Croaky has a room mate. And that room mate is our hundred pound German Shepherd, Schultz. Schultz has not been pleased with the racket his green friend has been making. This morning when I let the hairy beast out of his crate, he walked right up to Croaky's tank and barked at it.
"What's the matter, Schultz? Do you have a late night entertainer there?"
He made a funny grunt sound and trotted off.
(Croaky had better watch it. Schultz might decide to tip his tank!)
Croaky likes to croak. Usually, he has nobody to croak to, because he lives all by himself in his tank. Things have been a little different this week, though. We seem to have a plethora of tree frogs in the forest. And it's mating season. You would not believe the sounds emanating from the woods behind our house! Those little buggers go from dawn to dusk. Croaky is absolutely thrilled. He's croaking all night now, trying to attract the attention of a lady frog out there.
There's just one problem. Croaky has a room mate. And that room mate is our hundred pound German Shepherd, Schultz. Schultz has not been pleased with the racket his green friend has been making. This morning when I let the hairy beast out of his crate, he walked right up to Croaky's tank and barked at it.
"What's the matter, Schultz? Do you have a late night entertainer there?"
He made a funny grunt sound and trotted off.
(Croaky had better watch it. Schultz might decide to tip his tank!)
May 28, 2015
Saving Bugs
I took my son to the pool yesterday. He had a great time swimming, until he noticed the bugs. Apparently they thought it would be nice to go for a swim, too.
"Mama, these bugs are going to die if someone doesn't get them out of here."
I nodded. "Why don't you help them?"
He made a face and shook his head. "No way. I'm not touching those things. You get them out!"
Of course. Mama always gets the dirty work. I scooped up a little moth with my hands and deposited him on the deck. I found a beetle and did the same. Then I saw a wasp. "Dude, the wasp is out of luck."
"Why, Mama? You can't discriminate against wasps. He's a bug, too!"
I scowled at the boy. "But that bug is going to sting me. There's no way I'm going to save something that's going to be ungrateful and hurt me!"
Bubba grinned and got out of the pool. He looked around and found a skimmer net. Then he scooped up the wasp and threw him over the pool fence onto the grass. "There, Mama. That's how you save a wasp!"
(Now, why didn't I think of that?)
"Mama, these bugs are going to die if someone doesn't get them out of here."
I nodded. "Why don't you help them?"
He made a face and shook his head. "No way. I'm not touching those things. You get them out!"
Of course. Mama always gets the dirty work. I scooped up a little moth with my hands and deposited him on the deck. I found a beetle and did the same. Then I saw a wasp. "Dude, the wasp is out of luck."
"Why, Mama? You can't discriminate against wasps. He's a bug, too!"
I scowled at the boy. "But that bug is going to sting me. There's no way I'm going to save something that's going to be ungrateful and hurt me!"
Bubba grinned and got out of the pool. He looked around and found a skimmer net. Then he scooped up the wasp and threw him over the pool fence onto the grass. "There, Mama. That's how you save a wasp!"
(Now, why didn't I think of that?)
May 27, 2015
Fast Fingers
My son is an expert video game player. Probably because he's had lots of practice. He found a new app for his iPad - a piano app. All you have to do is touch some dots on a screen as they roll by, and it's like you're playing a tune on the piano.
"Mama," he called. "Come here and check this out!"
I watched as he played the Imagine Dragons tune, Demons. He played it perfectly, without missing a note.
"Do you want to try?" he asked when he was done.
I laughed. "Dude, I stink at video games. Are you sure you want me to try this?"
He nodded and gave the iPad to me. The dots started rolling. My old eyeballs could barely see those things. So I just touched the screen to the beat in my head.
"Mama," my son said. "You're missing a ton of notes!"
"Yeah, so?"
"And you're going way too fast!"
I shrugged and kept going.
At the end of the game, I had 361 points.
"Mama, that's pathetic!" my son said. "I would've had at least 1600 points!"
"Sorry, dude," I said. "Mama has fast fingers, but slow eyeballs!"
(I bet if he had given me the real piano music, and I had played it on a real piano, I would've got every note and blown him right out of the water!)
Before I go, I'd like to give a huge thank you to Alex Cavanaugh for mentioning the release of my new book, Ten Zany Birds, on his blog!
"Mama," he called. "Come here and check this out!"
I watched as he played the Imagine Dragons tune, Demons. He played it perfectly, without missing a note.
"Do you want to try?" he asked when he was done.
I laughed. "Dude, I stink at video games. Are you sure you want me to try this?"
He nodded and gave the iPad to me. The dots started rolling. My old eyeballs could barely see those things. So I just touched the screen to the beat in my head.
"Mama," my son said. "You're missing a ton of notes!"
"Yeah, so?"
"And you're going way too fast!"
I shrugged and kept going.
At the end of the game, I had 361 points.
"Mama, that's pathetic!" my son said. "I would've had at least 1600 points!"
"Sorry, dude," I said. "Mama has fast fingers, but slow eyeballs!"
(I bet if he had given me the real piano music, and I had played it on a real piano, I would've got every note and blown him right out of the water!)
Before I go, I'd like to give a huge thank you to Alex Cavanaugh for mentioning the release of my new book, Ten Zany Birds, on his blog!
