Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 17
January 2, 2018
Flaming Crimes Blogfest
My blog friend, Chrys Fey, has a new book in her Disaster Crimes series. It's called, Flaming Crimes. In honor of the book's release, she has put together a blogfest. Participants will answer one question: What is something ridiculous you would save if there was a fire?
After making sure my family was safe, I would save my viola. You might think that's ridiculous, because it's just a piece of wood with strings on it. But it has been my instrument for over 30 years. I've traveled the world with it. I've made my living teaching and performing with it. I love the sound of it, and it's the perfect size for me: 15 1/2 inches. Most violas are too big, and the small ones don't have the sound that mine has. For me, it's irreplaceable. I would be very sad if something happened to my viola, so I would do everything I could to save it.
What about you? What would you save from a fire that other people might think is ridiculous?
Series: Disaster Crimes #4
Page Count: 304
Digital Price: 4.99
Print Price: 16.99Rating: Spicy (PG13)
BUY LINKS:Amazon / Barnes & NobleThe Wild Rose Press
BLURB: Beth and Donovan are now happily married, and what Beth wants more than anything is a baby. Her dream of starting a family is put on hold as fires burn dangerously close and Donovan becomes a victim of sabotage.
Donovan escapes what could've been a deadly wreck. Their past enemies have been eliminated, so who is cutting brake lines and leaving bloody messages? He vows to find out, for the sake of the woman he loves and the life they're trying to build.
Amidst a criminal mind game, a fire ignites next to their home. They battle the flames and fight to keep their house safe from the blaze pressing in on all sides, but neither of them expects to confront a psychotic adversary in the middle of the inferno.
Their lives may just go up in flames…
About the Author: Chrys Fey is the author of the Disaster Crimes Series, a unique concept blending romance, crimes, and disasters. She’s partnered with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and runs their Goodreads book club. She’s also an editor for Dancing Lemur Press.
Author Links:Website / Blog / GoodreadsFacebook / Twitter / Amazon
December 27, 2017
Furball on the Loose
The construction project continues. I'm not sure if it's ever going to end. Our German Shepherd, Schultz is having some doubts, too. All he wants is a nap. An impossible thing in our abode. The saws and the hammers and the general chaos are too much.
So, he's been taking matters into his own paws. I believe I've mentioned that the doors are routinely left open as the workers come and go. We've had creatures wander in. Now we have a creature wandering out. That creature is Schultz. Usually we leave him in the basement, so he's not underfoot. But when the workers have to go down to turn the power off, he manages to escape. Right out the front door.
The other day, Mr. Schultz walked out the door all the way to the bus stop at the corner of the street. Fortunately, Bubba was there, getting off the bus, and spotted him. He brought the wayward creature home.
Yesterday, he escaped again. Since the kids are out of school for the holiday, there was nobody to meet him at the bus stop. We thought we were doomed. Nobody knew how long Schultz had been missing.
One of the workers decided to try whistling. "All dogs come to my whistle," he said.
This dude had the loudest whistle I'd ever heard. I think even the man in the moon heard it. We waited a few minutes. No Schultz. He whistled again. A few minutes later, Schultz came, trotting down the sidewalk like it was no big deal.
The worker grinned. "I told you he'd come!"
Yay for the whistle!
Before I go, I have two announcements. Actually three.
1. My book, That Mama is a Grouch is available as a free ebook from Smashwords from now until January 1st. Please visit this link to get your copy.
2. My book, Ten Zany Birds is available as a free ebook from Smashwords from now until January 1st. Please visit this link to get your copy.
3. Don't Feed the Elephant, my upcoming picture book, will be published in 2018. We have some formatting issues we're still trying to work out. My apologies to anyone who might've wanted to get it as a Christmas gift. I'll let you know when it's here.
Hope you all have a very Happy New Year and a terrific 2018!
So, he's been taking matters into his own paws. I believe I've mentioned that the doors are routinely left open as the workers come and go. We've had creatures wander in. Now we have a creature wandering out. That creature is Schultz. Usually we leave him in the basement, so he's not underfoot. But when the workers have to go down to turn the power off, he manages to escape. Right out the front door.
The other day, Mr. Schultz walked out the door all the way to the bus stop at the corner of the street. Fortunately, Bubba was there, getting off the bus, and spotted him. He brought the wayward creature home.
Yesterday, he escaped again. Since the kids are out of school for the holiday, there was nobody to meet him at the bus stop. We thought we were doomed. Nobody knew how long Schultz had been missing.
One of the workers decided to try whistling. "All dogs come to my whistle," he said.
This dude had the loudest whistle I'd ever heard. I think even the man in the moon heard it. We waited a few minutes. No Schultz. He whistled again. A few minutes later, Schultz came, trotting down the sidewalk like it was no big deal.
The worker grinned. "I told you he'd come!"
Yay for the whistle!
Before I go, I have two announcements. Actually three.
1. My book, That Mama is a Grouch is available as a free ebook from Smashwords from now until January 1st. Please visit this link to get your copy.
2. My book, Ten Zany Birds is available as a free ebook from Smashwords from now until January 1st. Please visit this link to get your copy.
3. Don't Feed the Elephant, my upcoming picture book, will be published in 2018. We have some formatting issues we're still trying to work out. My apologies to anyone who might've wanted to get it as a Christmas gift. I'll let you know when it's here.
Hope you all have a very Happy New Year and a terrific 2018!
December 10, 2017
Talking Gibberish
My son, Bubba, is experiencing a voice change. He's a teenager now, and he's starting to sound like a man. Scary! Anyway, sometimes his voice cracks. When that happens, it's difficult to understand what he's saying. That, along with the low pitch, makes it all sound like gibberish. We tell him he speaks Gibberish all the time.
The other day, he was in the kitchen talking to our dog, Schultz. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. I listened very closely, and whatever language he was speaking, definitely wasn't English.
"Dude," I said. "Is that supposed to be English?"
He laughed and shook his head. "No, Mama. I'm speaking Gibberish. It's what I do best. And Schultz understands it."
I looked at the dog. He sat there in front of Bubba, looking at him intently with his head tilted. Bubba spoke more Gibberish and opened the door. Schultz trotted outside.
"See," Bubba said. "I told him to go outside, and he did!"
Brilliant!
Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I'm a guest on the ePublishing Children's Book Blog. I'm talking about my upcoming book, Don't Feed the Elephant. If you'd like to visit and see a sneak peak of a couple of the illustrations, visit here.
The other day, he was in the kitchen talking to our dog, Schultz. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. I listened very closely, and whatever language he was speaking, definitely wasn't English.
"Dude," I said. "Is that supposed to be English?"
He laughed and shook his head. "No, Mama. I'm speaking Gibberish. It's what I do best. And Schultz understands it."
I looked at the dog. He sat there in front of Bubba, looking at him intently with his head tilted. Bubba spoke more Gibberish and opened the door. Schultz trotted outside.
"See," Bubba said. "I told him to go outside, and he did!"
Brilliant!
Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I'm a guest on the ePublishing Children's Book Blog. I'm talking about my upcoming book, Don't Feed the Elephant. If you'd like to visit and see a sneak peak of a couple of the illustrations, visit here.
December 4, 2017
You-know-who Knows You-know-what
If you've been visiting this pad for a while, you know that our German Shepherd, Schultz, is a rather intelligent animal. (For the most part.) We have recently discovered that he is smarter than we thought.
The hundred-pound beast loves playing "flashlight" every night. "Flashlight" is the game where we take him outside when it's dark, and he chases a beam of light around the yard. It's his favorite thing to do. If you even mention the word, "flashlight," he goes crazy.
Playing "flashlight" is definitely more fun for the dog than it is for us humans. Sometimes nobody wants to take him out. Especially when it's cold. So, if the question is asked, "Who wants to take Schultz out to do 'flashlight?'" and nobody wants to, doggy gets upset, because he's heard the word, "flashlight" and nobody is taking him out to do it.
We thought we had gotten around this by asking, "Who wants to do 'you-know-what?'" It worked for a while, but then Schultz figured out that "you-know-what" means "flashlight." So now he gets upset if he doesn't get "you-know-what" or "flashlight."
I guess we're going to have to start spelling the words.
The hundred-pound beast loves playing "flashlight" every night. "Flashlight" is the game where we take him outside when it's dark, and he chases a beam of light around the yard. It's his favorite thing to do. If you even mention the word, "flashlight," he goes crazy.
Playing "flashlight" is definitely more fun for the dog than it is for us humans. Sometimes nobody wants to take him out. Especially when it's cold. So, if the question is asked, "Who wants to take Schultz out to do 'flashlight?'" and nobody wants to, doggy gets upset, because he's heard the word, "flashlight" and nobody is taking him out to do it.
We thought we had gotten around this by asking, "Who wants to do 'you-know-what?'" It worked for a while, but then Schultz figured out that "you-know-what" means "flashlight." So now he gets upset if he doesn't get "you-know-what" or "flashlight."
I guess we're going to have to start spelling the words.
November 28, 2017
Open Zoo
As I mentioned in my previous post, we're having a lot of construction done in my house. Workers go in and out, hauling machines and materials. For several days, our front door was left open. Fortunately, the weather was good. Unfortunately, it was an open invitation for all kinds of critters to wander in.
The first such creature was a lizard. He strolled in, like it was perfectly natural to be in my house. He wandered around the front hall and then scurried off when he spotted me. I'm not exactly sure where he went, or where he is, but I do know that where he scurried was not outside.
Before I tell you about the second visitor, let me paint a picture of what my dining room currently looks like. Completely covering the dining room table is an assortment of plates, cups, and utensils. Some paper, some plastic, some china. There is also an row of cereal boxes and snacking items that were once in our pantry. On the floor, is a bunch of pet food, pots, pans, dishes that are sort of clean, but not quite, because I had to take them out of the dishwasher before they were done so the workers could demolish our kitchen, and an assortment of stuff that had been under our kitchen sink. It's a mess! I can't even believe that I've been living in this condition for a month now. And it's not even close to over.
Anyway, when I walked into the dining room, I discovered a bee buzzing around the half-washed dishes on the floor. And he brought a buddy. Two bees.
"What do you think this is? A party?" I asked.
Of course they didn't answer. I have no idea where they went. Hopefully out. Along with all the other bugs and critters that have invaded our abode. If not, our cat, Bootsy, is going to have a big extermination project when this ordeal is over. (Because our dog, Schultz, wouldn't lift a paw to chase them out.)
The first such creature was a lizard. He strolled in, like it was perfectly natural to be in my house. He wandered around the front hall and then scurried off when he spotted me. I'm not exactly sure where he went, or where he is, but I do know that where he scurried was not outside.
Before I tell you about the second visitor, let me paint a picture of what my dining room currently looks like. Completely covering the dining room table is an assortment of plates, cups, and utensils. Some paper, some plastic, some china. There is also an row of cereal boxes and snacking items that were once in our pantry. On the floor, is a bunch of pet food, pots, pans, dishes that are sort of clean, but not quite, because I had to take them out of the dishwasher before they were done so the workers could demolish our kitchen, and an assortment of stuff that had been under our kitchen sink. It's a mess! I can't even believe that I've been living in this condition for a month now. And it's not even close to over.
Anyway, when I walked into the dining room, I discovered a bee buzzing around the half-washed dishes on the floor. And he brought a buddy. Two bees.
"What do you think this is? A party?" I asked.
Of course they didn't answer. I have no idea where they went. Hopefully out. Along with all the other bugs and critters that have invaded our abode. If not, our cat, Bootsy, is going to have a big extermination project when this ordeal is over. (Because our dog, Schultz, wouldn't lift a paw to chase them out.)
November 15, 2017
Why You Should Listen to the Mama
Has your mom ever told you not to play ball in the house? If she has, I hope you've listened to her. She knows what she's talking about.
Here's what happened at my house, because somebody didn't listen to the Mama:
Our house is currently under renovation. You really wouldn't want to be here. The kitchen is gutted, and all but one of the bathrooms has been demolished. As a result, we have some wide-open spaces. Especially in the kitchen. My husband decided it would be fun to throw the tennis ball around and have our German Shepherd, Schultz, fetch it.
"Don't do that," I warned. "The tennis ball is going to end up down an open vent."
Did he listen?
No.
On the first throw it happened. The tennis ball bounced off the wall where the oven had been. Then it bounced off the wall where the sink had been. Then it rolled along the floor . . . right into the open vent. Down it went. Never to be seen again.
I shook my head. I didn't even have to say, "I told you so." He knew.
Moral of the story: Always listen to Mama!
(He pried apart the vent and attempted to retrieve it, but couldn't. So now we have a tennis ball stuck somewhere in our vent system. Hopefully it won't end up in the furnace!)
Here's what happened at my house, because somebody didn't listen to the Mama:
Our house is currently under renovation. You really wouldn't want to be here. The kitchen is gutted, and all but one of the bathrooms has been demolished. As a result, we have some wide-open spaces. Especially in the kitchen. My husband decided it would be fun to throw the tennis ball around and have our German Shepherd, Schultz, fetch it.
"Don't do that," I warned. "The tennis ball is going to end up down an open vent."
Did he listen?
No.
On the first throw it happened. The tennis ball bounced off the wall where the oven had been. Then it bounced off the wall where the sink had been. Then it rolled along the floor . . . right into the open vent. Down it went. Never to be seen again.
I shook my head. I didn't even have to say, "I told you so." He knew.
Moral of the story: Always listen to Mama!
(He pried apart the vent and attempted to retrieve it, but couldn't. So now we have a tennis ball stuck somewhere in our vent system. Hopefully it won't end up in the furnace!)
November 7, 2017
Mister Salesman
Even though it has been over a week since Halloween, my son still has a lot of candy left. Ever the creative thinker, he has found a solution for what to do with all this candy.
"I'm going to sell it," he announced.
"You're going to sell it?" I asked. "To whom?"
"To my friends."
I couldn't understand why anyone would need more Halloween candy. "Don't you think people have had enough?"
He shook his head. "No. They already ate all of theirs. I'm sure they want more. They'll buy mine."
Okay, then. So, the boy is going to take some to school. Let's see how well he's able to market his snack-size Snickers bars.
"I'm going to sell it," he announced.
"You're going to sell it?" I asked. "To whom?"
"To my friends."
I couldn't understand why anyone would need more Halloween candy. "Don't you think people have had enough?"
He shook his head. "No. They already ate all of theirs. I'm sure they want more. They'll buy mine."
Okay, then. So, the boy is going to take some to school. Let's see how well he's able to market his snack-size Snickers bars.
October 23, 2017
Scaredy Cat
Our cat, Bootsy, is a brave feline. We didn't think he'd be afraid of anything. Turns out, we were wrong.
My son, Bubba, decided he was going to parade around the house in his Halloween costume. Usually, Bootsy doesn't care. Nothing phases him. Not Darth Maul. Not the Grim Reaper. Not Freddy Kruger. But for some reason, Bootsy didn't like this costume. What did my boy wear? A plain white mask, a black fedora, and a button-down collared blue shirt. It freaked the poor cat out. He took one look at my boy, meowed the strangest sound I've ever heard, and ran for cover.
Who knows what went on in the poor cat's mind, but if Bubba had that affect on him, I'm worried about what's going to happen to the poor souls who have to lay eyes on him when he Trick-or-treats on Halloween!
My son, Bubba, decided he was going to parade around the house in his Halloween costume. Usually, Bootsy doesn't care. Nothing phases him. Not Darth Maul. Not the Grim Reaper. Not Freddy Kruger. But for some reason, Bootsy didn't like this costume. What did my boy wear? A plain white mask, a black fedora, and a button-down collared blue shirt. It freaked the poor cat out. He took one look at my boy, meowed the strangest sound I've ever heard, and ran for cover.
Who knows what went on in the poor cat's mind, but if Bubba had that affect on him, I'm worried about what's going to happen to the poor souls who have to lay eyes on him when he Trick-or-treats on Halloween!
October 18, 2017
The Dog and the Frog
There is a very large frog that likes to sit on our front step each evening and make a lot of noise. He hasn't gone unnoticed by a certain quadruped named Schultz. Schultz is our hundred-pound German Shepherd.
The other night, Mr. Schultz finally had the opportunity to introduce himself to the amphibian. He charged out the garage door, bounded across the front lawn, and stopped right in front of Mr. Frog. What did Mr. Frog do? Nothing. Not even a hop.
Mr. Schultz gave the frog the biggest sniff ever. His big, wet nose was basically on top of that frog, sniffing every square inch. This lasted at least ten seconds. Finally, Schultz got bored and trotted off to sniff something else.
Once Schultz was safely out of distance, the frog blinked his little eyeballs and resumed croaking.
(I'm guessing the frog is one of Croaky's pals. (Croaky is our pet African clawed frog.) He probably told him about Schultz, so his buddy knew he had nothing to worry about!)
The other night, Mr. Schultz finally had the opportunity to introduce himself to the amphibian. He charged out the garage door, bounded across the front lawn, and stopped right in front of Mr. Frog. What did Mr. Frog do? Nothing. Not even a hop.
Mr. Schultz gave the frog the biggest sniff ever. His big, wet nose was basically on top of that frog, sniffing every square inch. This lasted at least ten seconds. Finally, Schultz got bored and trotted off to sniff something else.
Once Schultz was safely out of distance, the frog blinked his little eyeballs and resumed croaking.
(I'm guessing the frog is one of Croaky's pals. (Croaky is our pet African clawed frog.) He probably told him about Schultz, so his buddy knew he had nothing to worry about!)
October 12, 2017
Ancient Grains
The other day, when I walked past the shoe closet, I noticed an unpleasant odor. It didn't quite smell like stinky socks - something you might expect from such a closet. Curious, I opened the door. After some poking around, my nose led me to a lunch box. My son's lunch box. It was shoved in the back corner. Who only knew how long it had been sitting there.
I picked that thing up between my thumb and index finger, afraid of what lethal contaminant might be lurking inside, and placed it on the kitchen counter. I unzipped it. What I found inside was a bunch of Ziploc bags. Most were empty. All except one. In that one was a sandwich, which at the very least, could be described as a science experiment gone wrong. The once nutritious whole-grain bread was covered in blue and yellow growth. The blue, I'm guessing, was mold. The yellow? Your guess is as good as mine. All I knew was that it produced an exceptionally foul odor which needed to be eliminated immediately if not sooner.
All I can say about that, was that my son gave new meaning to the words, "ancient grains."
(I was going to take a picture, but I figured it might make the majority of you want to vomit. I hope ya'll appreciate my consideration!)
I picked that thing up between my thumb and index finger, afraid of what lethal contaminant might be lurking inside, and placed it on the kitchen counter. I unzipped it. What I found inside was a bunch of Ziploc bags. Most were empty. All except one. In that one was a sandwich, which at the very least, could be described as a science experiment gone wrong. The once nutritious whole-grain bread was covered in blue and yellow growth. The blue, I'm guessing, was mold. The yellow? Your guess is as good as mine. All I knew was that it produced an exceptionally foul odor which needed to be eliminated immediately if not sooner.
All I can say about that, was that my son gave new meaning to the words, "ancient grains."
(I was going to take a picture, but I figured it might make the majority of you want to vomit. I hope ya'll appreciate my consideration!)
