Pen's Blog - Posts Tagged "courage"
The Frieda Philosophy
When I first laid eyes on her, my initial thought was “that is the most hideous sight I have ever seen.” The I took a really good look at her. And what I saw really surprised me.
It was at a friend’s garage sale that I spotted her - a white porcelain elephant a little over a foot tall. Someone — either thinking they were artistic, clever or on a drug-induced trip — had painted big green and yellow flowers all over her along with black, green and blue curly-q designs. The points of both her tusks were broken and she was missing a small chip or two.
It’s only natural that an initial reaction would be one of incredulity.
But looking closely at this elephant, I noticed she has one foot poised in mid-air, her trunk is held high, there is a twinkle of delight in her eye.
And she’s smiling. BIG smile.
I realized she doesn’t care what I — or anyone else for that matter — thinks of her. SHE thinks she’s beautiful. And that’s all that matters to her.
“How much for the elephant?” I asked my friend.
“Take her,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I probably won’t be able to sell the hideous thing anyway.”
I named her Frieda and Frieda has been through a lot with me over the years. We’ve moved across country and back between Georgia and California. We’ve moved to North Carolina and back to Georgia.
She’s been broken and repaired with tape and glue. And still she holds that trunk aloft and keeps on smiling. She’s a trooper and an inspiration, jubilant throughout anything and everything.
Frieda has a very valuable lesson to offer: the only opinion of you which should matter to you is your own.
I try to live the Frieda Philosophy daily. I hold my head high and try not to care what other people think of me. Some days this is more difficult than others, especially when you’ve been groomed your entire life to value more the view that others have of you than you have of yourself. But I work at that every day because Frieda stands resolutely atop a 1940’s radio which used to belong to my father. She winks at me each morning before I walk out the door and I can almost hear the triumphant trumpet call from her trunk.
Frieda supports me unconditionally. She inspires me every day just by being there. She is testimony to strength, determination and self-love.
Maybe the person who painted her knew exactly what she or he was doing.
It was at a friend’s garage sale that I spotted her - a white porcelain elephant a little over a foot tall. Someone — either thinking they were artistic, clever or on a drug-induced trip — had painted big green and yellow flowers all over her along with black, green and blue curly-q designs. The points of both her tusks were broken and she was missing a small chip or two.
It’s only natural that an initial reaction would be one of incredulity.
But looking closely at this elephant, I noticed she has one foot poised in mid-air, her trunk is held high, there is a twinkle of delight in her eye.
And she’s smiling. BIG smile.
I realized she doesn’t care what I — or anyone else for that matter — thinks of her. SHE thinks she’s beautiful. And that’s all that matters to her.
“How much for the elephant?” I asked my friend.
“Take her,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I probably won’t be able to sell the hideous thing anyway.”
I named her Frieda and Frieda has been through a lot with me over the years. We’ve moved across country and back between Georgia and California. We’ve moved to North Carolina and back to Georgia.
She’s been broken and repaired with tape and glue. And still she holds that trunk aloft and keeps on smiling. She’s a trooper and an inspiration, jubilant throughout anything and everything.
Frieda has a very valuable lesson to offer: the only opinion of you which should matter to you is your own.
I try to live the Frieda Philosophy daily. I hold my head high and try not to care what other people think of me. Some days this is more difficult than others, especially when you’ve been groomed your entire life to value more the view that others have of you than you have of yourself. But I work at that every day because Frieda stands resolutely atop a 1940’s radio which used to belong to my father. She winks at me each morning before I walk out the door and I can almost hear the triumphant trumpet call from her trunk.
Frieda supports me unconditionally. She inspires me every day just by being there. She is testimony to strength, determination and self-love.
Maybe the person who painted her knew exactly what she or he was doing.
Two Sides of Women
People in general are multi-faceted; we each have many different sides.
Each person has a side they show in the workplace and a side they show in social situations; a side they show to family and a side they show to friends.
I believe, however, this is more true of women than of men.
Women must adapt quickly for their own survival, Men adapt, too, but they have the unique advantage of relying on brute strength and the use of physical force to ensure their survival. Women must rely on wits, inner strength and courage, making women the more flexible of the species.
At the time I wrote the “Sword of Tilk” Trilogy I didn’t realize I had incorporated two different sides of women in the twins. Perhaps it was a subconscious thing: our subconscious works much harder for us than we realize.
Barbara is insecure, lacking the confidence to stand up to her boss. She feels too trapped in the struggle for daily survival to challenge herself to create a better life for her family. She is the woman who realizes she has untapped reserves of strength but is too afraid to explore them. It requires her being taken to a completely different world in order for her to fulfill her true potential.
Her twin sister, Tiernan, is quite the opposite. She is rambunctious and boisterous and runs headlong at a challenge with her sword drawn. She carries her devil-may-care, spit-in-the-eye-of-death attitude like a badge of honor. And rightfully so: she was raised to be fearless to protect her kingdom.
These two characters are representative of many women. Many women have that insecure side: the uncertainty of her own abilities and capabilities and the mistrust of herself to discover them. This is the side that goes to the job to collect the paycheck that keeps her head just above water; the side that dreams of a better life but feels that hope for that dream is lost.
This is the side of women which Barbara represents. Living in our world, she goes to the job, does her work, collects her pay. At the end of the day, she struggles to pay the bills and still feed her little family, knowing all the while that she is meant for something better, something more meaningful.
But there is also that boisterous side. This is the side that, when provoked, will raise its head in defiance. It will tap that reservoir of strength to show the woman and the world of what she is capable. It will fight to protect what she holds dear never losing sight of the hope that dreams can be real. This is the side that runs barefoot in a rainstorm, hair whipping behind her so that she can see the rainbow on the other side.
This is the side which Tiernan represents. Having grown up in the primitive Tilk Realm, she was taught from a young age to be a warrior: the warrior which lives deep within all women, the warrior willing to fight to defend that which she loves.
Those are only two sides of women. Most women have many more sides to them.
I am just grateful my subconscious captured those two sides for those two characters.
Each person has a side they show in the workplace and a side they show in social situations; a side they show to family and a side they show to friends.
I believe, however, this is more true of women than of men.
Women must adapt quickly for their own survival, Men adapt, too, but they have the unique advantage of relying on brute strength and the use of physical force to ensure their survival. Women must rely on wits, inner strength and courage, making women the more flexible of the species.
At the time I wrote the “Sword of Tilk” Trilogy I didn’t realize I had incorporated two different sides of women in the twins. Perhaps it was a subconscious thing: our subconscious works much harder for us than we realize.
Barbara is insecure, lacking the confidence to stand up to her boss. She feels too trapped in the struggle for daily survival to challenge herself to create a better life for her family. She is the woman who realizes she has untapped reserves of strength but is too afraid to explore them. It requires her being taken to a completely different world in order for her to fulfill her true potential.
Her twin sister, Tiernan, is quite the opposite. She is rambunctious and boisterous and runs headlong at a challenge with her sword drawn. She carries her devil-may-care, spit-in-the-eye-of-death attitude like a badge of honor. And rightfully so: she was raised to be fearless to protect her kingdom.
These two characters are representative of many women. Many women have that insecure side: the uncertainty of her own abilities and capabilities and the mistrust of herself to discover them. This is the side that goes to the job to collect the paycheck that keeps her head just above water; the side that dreams of a better life but feels that hope for that dream is lost.
This is the side of women which Barbara represents. Living in our world, she goes to the job, does her work, collects her pay. At the end of the day, she struggles to pay the bills and still feed her little family, knowing all the while that she is meant for something better, something more meaningful.
But there is also that boisterous side. This is the side that, when provoked, will raise its head in defiance. It will tap that reservoir of strength to show the woman and the world of what she is capable. It will fight to protect what she holds dear never losing sight of the hope that dreams can be real. This is the side that runs barefoot in a rainstorm, hair whipping behind her so that she can see the rainbow on the other side.
This is the side which Tiernan represents. Having grown up in the primitive Tilk Realm, she was taught from a young age to be a warrior: the warrior which lives deep within all women, the warrior willing to fight to defend that which she loves.
Those are only two sides of women. Most women have many more sides to them.
I am just grateful my subconscious captured those two sides for those two characters.
