Maranda Russell's Blog, page 71

Bipolar Mood Charting

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I decided to start doing some bipolar mood charting. I’ve seen others talk about how it helped them to figure out patterns in their mood swings and behaviors, so figured it couldn’t hurt to give it a try. To find a bipolar mood chart, I just googled it and checked out several options that came up. I ended up going with this chart.

I’ve only been tracking myself on it for four days now, but I’ve already noticed a few small things. For one, I’m clearly more on the low side (which makes sense being Bipolar type 2), and even when I do chart on the “high mood” side, I often chart on the “low mood” side for the same day. So I am predicting that most of my “high mood” days are actually mixed days. We’ll have to see if that stays consistent the longer I chart myself.

I also noticed rather interestingly, that so far, when my anxiety is high, my irritability tends to be lower, and vice versa. Are anxiety and irritability two sides of the same coin just expressed differently? I don’t know, but thought it was interesting.

Lastly, this is something I already kind of knew, but seeing it in writing really drives the point home…I sleep A LOT. On average, about 11-12 hours a day. I sleep HALF the day away! This has pretty much been the case since I started taking Seroquel, so I wonder if that may be responsible.

March 2018 My First Reading Club Subscription Box Review!

I told you all that soon I would have a new subscription box to share and review and it is here! This subscription box is called “My First Reading Club” and they have a wide variety of ages you can pick from to receive at least 3 or 4 brand new children’s books each month. The best part is it only costs $9.99 (plus shipping)! Often, you recoup the entire price in just ONE book!

For this first month I picked the “Just Starting Out” age group, which is 2 and under I believe. However, I have upped the age group for my next box because I would like to receive some regular picture books and not just board books. Anyhow, here is what I received this month:

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A Disney Frozen “Ice Box” set that includes four board books, each featuring different characters (Anna, Elsa, Kristoff & Sven, and Olaf), Retail $10.99
A Sparkly Nickelodeon Team Umizoomi Board Book entitled “Follow That Egg!”, Retail $6.99
A Disney Sheriff Callie’s Wild West Lift-the-Flap Book entitled “Callie Saves the Day”, Retail $8.99
A gift for Moms – AMBR Green Tea Spa Lotion, unknown value

Here are the four Disney Frozen books inside the “Ice Box” set (my favorite of which is definitely the Olaf book):

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Here is a peek inside the other two books we got this month:

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I like all the books we got this month, although I will admit I was a little disappointed to only get one Easter themed book (the Umizoomi one). In other My First Book Club box reviews I have seen, it looked like they often sent themed packages out with almost all books relating to any holidays that month, so I was definitely expecting more of an Easter theme.

Like I said above, although I do like children’s board books, I want a more well-rounded box to build up my collection, so I did up the age group for my next box. It is nice that they always send a little gift for Mom too. Of the books they sent this month, my favorite is definitely the Umizoomi book. Partly because it is Easter-themed, and partly because it is really sparkly and I do love sparkly things!

 

I Got My Reborn Baby Doll!

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I got my first reborn baby doll in the mail yesterday! Now, as I mentioned in my first post about buying the doll, I didn’t buy one of the ones that is hundreds of dollars, so it isn’t as lifelike as many of the higher priced ones are, but I still really like her! She has bright blue eyes with the most adorable eyelashes and strong, rooted light brown mohair, which feels a lot like real hair.

When I first got her out of the package, I could see that I was going to have to tidy up her hair, which was a bit too long for my liking in the front, but I think I have it evened out pretty well now. The sad thing is that she doesn’t really fit well into the newborn clothing I bought for her. It is too big and definitely too long. I’ve found that the preemie outfits fit her just about right though.

She doesn’t weigh as much as a real baby, but is weighted some so that she is much nicer to hold than your typical cheap superstore baby dolls. She really smells like baby powder too! Reminds me of Cabbage Patch dolls in that way. I haven’t named her yet, so far just been calling her “Baby”. Any suggestions?

Support Group and Social Exhaustion

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Today hasn’t been the best day mental-health wise. I just woke up around an hour ago and it took me until now to drag myself out of bed because I honestly just didn’t want to move, let alone get up and face the day.

Yesterday wasn’t a good day either. I’m not sure what was going on, but I felt sick and exhausted the whole day. I did make myself go to a group meeting yesterday (a recovery from religion support group). My husband is helping to lead the group and it is fascinating to hear everyone’s personal stories about religion and how specific forms of indoctrination affected each of them differently. Some of those who come truly have experienced abuse at the hands of religious leaders and organizations, much like I have in my past (mostly due to my messed up family).

The meeting lasted almost three hours, which socially exhausted me. Maybe some of you don’t experience social exhaustion, but when you are autistic, being social takes so much focus and attention to do it “right”, that it always leaves me burned out and just wanting to go home and nap. Add to that, the social anxiety I had about going to the group in the first place, and I guess it is no wonder that I felt like crap both physically and mentally most of the day.

I think today I’m just going to try to take it easy and recover from the exhaustion as much as I can. I need to have my precious time alone and indulge in some distractions to take my mind off real life. I definitely welcome hearing from you guys though!

Target Easter Junk Food and Toy Shopping!

After going to the movies yesterday, my husband and I stopped by Target and had to do some Easter junk food shopping! Along with the mixed bag of seasonal Kit Kat, Reese’s, and Rolo’s, we also picked up some Little Debbie Easter Carrot Cake Rolls and Spring Nutty Bars. I’m not sure if these are brand new Little Debbie treats or not, but they are new to us! I’m excited to give them a try!

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We also checked out the toy section at Target and ended up using a gift card we had to get the adorable board game “Yeti in My Spaghetti” (which is partly for my husband to use with his classroom) and… a 35th anniversary My Little Pony Butterscotch pony, recreated from the original 1983 collection of toys!

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I was so excited to find that they were re-releasing these ponies and would love to buy more of them if I get a chance! As a kid, My Little Pony was my favorite thing in the whole world, and it is awesome that they are the same age as I am! I literally don’t remember a time before My Little Pony existed, and that’s the way I like it!

“Love, Simon” Movie Review

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Today my husband and I went to see the new movie “Love, Simon”. I love reading YA novels and have always enjoyed teen movies as well, so I was excited to go see this one. I thought the premise of a teen hiding his gay sexuality from his friends, family, and school was a realistic one that likely has occurred many times in our culture. Perhaps it is getting easier to come out now than it was back when I was in high school or before that, but it is still hard for many young people to come clean about such an intimate and often maligned subject. Especially if you fear your family and friends will not accept you after the admission.

In “Love, Simon”, the main character (Simon, of course) DOES have supportive, open-minded family members and friends, but he is still afraid to come out of the closet. Perhaps this is because of the bullying he sees go on at school, pointed towards another kid who is openly gay. Or it could be that even though he knows his parents and friends will accept him, he just isn’t prepared for the social pressure and discomfort that often accompanies such a declaration. I think that even though Simon knows his family is loving and liberal, he may have a smidgen of doubt that his father would be happy, since he often makes jokes about girls with his only son.

I won’t ruin the whole plot for you, just know that there is a lot of friend drama, some blackmail, more than one romantic subplot, and a lot of the teen angst you would expect from a movie like this. The movie has a great sense of humor and addresses the subject of sexuality frankly and with many quips. I loved how Simon as a character was just your normal, average kind of guy, and not some kind of “gay stereotype” (other than Simon being in a school musical, but then again, many of the straight kids in the movie were in the musical too, so it didn’t seem to be meant as some sort of sexual stereotype).

Overall, the movie was sweet and uplifting. I saw my husband actually tear up at one point, but I rarely ever tear up at movies, so it didn’t do it for me this time either. It was definitely worth the time to see it though, and the teens seated all around me seemed to be in love with the movie.

“Mini Myths”, Kids Board Books Based on Greek Mythology

I love children’s books. I collect many different kinds of books for kids and honestly probably have more books geared towards children in my library than I have books geared for adults. Recently I came across these “Mini Myths” board books that are made for babies and toddlers (written by Joan Holub and illustrated by Leslie Patricelli). They feature characters like Pandora, Hercules, and Medusa from Greek mythology and are simply adorable:

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Here you can see a brief glimpse inside the books:

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I think my favorite is probably Pandora, although I love Hercules’ energy and trouble-making attitude. If you work with or have small children of your own, I would definitely check these books out. They are a great way to introduce even the youngest of kids to fun characters from mythology in a silly, playful way kids and parents will love.

Shopping Blog and General Life Update

I woke up today feeling like I just needed to get out, so went to do a bit of shopping, nothing too exciting as you can see here, but hey, sometimes even routine errands can help get our minds off heavy stuff.

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First I stopped at Walmart. As you can see, I am still feeding my Coca Cola addiction. The cough drops are for the hubby who woke up feeling crappy today, and the Carmex is because I’m having some lip pimple or cold sore issues that are driving me crazy. I rarely EVER buy makeup. Lip balm and this kind of Covergirl foundation powder are about all I ever do. Honestly, it isn’t even necessarily an aversion to makeup, but just that #1, I never really learned to do my own makeup, and #2, makeup is expensive and I would rather buy more fun things normally!

I also went to Goodwill, where I found a sweatshirt that was super comfy and almost brand new. Ironically enough, the sweatshirt I bought at Goodwill was almost the exact same price as this brand new t-shirt I bought at Walmart. It seems a little ridiculous to me that Goodwill prices are now about as high as Walmart prices! I know sweatshirts cost more than t-shirts anyhow, but still…

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I think the best part of getting out of the house though is just cruising in the car, with the windows down, and cranking up the volume on some of my favorite albums. That might be one of the most therapeutic treatments for depression.

Going No Contact with Abusers?

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Lately I have been really struggling with the temptation to go “no contact” with someone who has been abusive to me throughout my life in different ways. If you follow my blog closely, you can probably guess who I might be talking about. I did manage about a year ago to get some physical distance from this person, which helped a lot, but I still have such feelings of dread, sadness, anger, hurt, and despair whenever I hear from them (or more consistently lately, when I am ignored by them).

I know my therapist would probably do a happy dance if I decided to go “no contact” with this person. They won’t say so outright, but it is clear to me that they see that the relationship is not conducive to my healing. The last time I saw my therapist, she asked me what I was getting out of hanging onto the relationship…and I couldn’t really say. Other than hurt and frustration, I’m not sure I’m getting much at all.

However, I can’t help but feel that if I totally disengage with this person, it will cause me to feel guilty and fearful. Guilty because I was groomed from a young age to feel responsible for this person and to be their caretaker. Additionally, I feel guilt about what my other family members might think. The fear would mostly be due to the fear of confrontation, whether in person or through more passive-aggressive avenues. The thought of letting go also plays on my fear of being all alone and unloved.

ArtSnacks March 2018 Subscription Box Review

First off, I want to let everyone know this will actually be the last ArtSnacks subscription box I will review. Honestly, I just didn’t feel like I was getting enough use out of it for the cost. I feel like I’m better off just shopping the discount art supplies at local shops. I did subscribe to a different fun subscription box that I will be reviewing from now on, but it isn’t an artist one (you’ll have to stay tuned to see what it is)!

Anyhow, here is what I got in this month’s ArtSnacks box:

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A custom ArtSnacks Pencil Case
ArtSnacks Sticker Sheet
Orange Copic Ciao Double Ended Marker
Copic Multiliner
2 Lyra Color Giants Color Pencils (red and purple)
Warheads Candy

Even though I stopped subscribing to this box, this still might be my favorite box so far. I do really like the custom ArtSnacks pencil case and am sure I’ll get some use from that. The pencil case seems to be made of good quality materials and is double-zippered with two separate compartments. It isn’t big enough to hold a lot at a time, but it is still handy.

I was also thrilled to get a couple Copic products. I’ve always wanted to have the money to invest in some Copic markers, but haven’t done so yet because they are so pricey. Of course, I’m not sure how much I’ll get done with just one orange marker lol.

The Lyra Color Giants color pencils are really cool as well. They are from Germany and seem to be well made. Their huge size kind of reminds me of the big, thick colored pencils that are sometimes made for really little kids. I’m not sure how much I’ll actually use them, but they are pretty neat.

Overall, this was a cool box, but not enough to make me sorry I unsubscribed.