Maranda Russell's Blog, page 35
August 21, 2019
Why Stars Explode
I really like this old poem of mine. Thought I’d re-share it for those of you who are newer to my blog and missed it back when
August 19, 2019
Obsessive Dark Fantasizing
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The last few days have been rough. I’ve been dealing with dark, obsessive thoughts that I know aren’t healthy for me to dwell on. Dark thoughts of restlessness, dark thoughts of jealousy and resentment, dark thoughts about relationships and craving attention, and dark thoughts about life and death. Craving attention might not sound like such a bad thing, but the negative part is some of the twisted ways my brain comes up with to get it. Luckily, I don’t act on these dark thoughts, so I must have a good amount of self-control, but the obsessiveness of the thought patterns bother me.
I feel a little bit like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde at times (which I actually reread recently for the first time since childhood). There is a really good side to me, but there is definitely a dark side as well, and when that dark side becomes obsessive and stuck in a groove, the intensity of my thoughts and emotions can become a bit frightening to myself.
I’m not entirely sure what causes these bouts of dark fantasizing. The ocd? The C-PTSD? Mood disorder? The anxious/avoidant attachment style I developed from a dysfunctional family system?
Today I’ve been trying to stay busy in an attempt to distract myself and it has helped some, but my brain is like a boomerang that just keeps circling back around to the same place again and again. It is exhausting to be honest.
August 17, 2019
Hilarious Mental Health Video – Made Up Diagnoses?
Ok, I’m sharing this video because I found it pretty hilarious…and a bit scary too (after all, this is coming from real psychology/psychiatry professionals!). I occasionally watch this guy’s Youtube channel and came across this gem. In the video he talks about “rogue” therapists and counselors who break or bend the rules of the profession. The hilarious part comes in when he talks about actual made-up diagnoses he has seen written down on real charts by actual mental health professionals and the ridiculous misunderstandings some mental health professionals have about what certain diagnoses even are!
The video is a little long and he can be monotone, but I hope you make it through. If you want to skip to the point where he starts talking about made up diagnoses, it starts around the 5:59 mark.
I am SO glad I never had a counselor or therapist like the ones he describes!
August 16, 2019
How to Respond to Mean Comments
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How do you respond to “mean” or seemingly insulting comments that you receive on your blog or social media? Sometimes I’m not even sure if a reply is meant to be insulting, so I try to give the person posting it the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes there is no doubt. Here are a few specific comments I remember getting over the years:
About my art:
“Go back to playing with your crayons.”
“How is that even art?”
About my writing/poetry:
“Every human being has something valuable to share. However, not every human being was meant to do so through poetic means.”
“Cliched and unconvincing. Boring.”
About me personally:
Various accusations of being immature/childish, overly sensitive, “stupid”, ugly, unattractive, etc.
The problem is that I never really know how to respond to these kind of comments. Should I ignore them? Delete the comment? Block the person? Write a snappy comeback? Try to reason with them? At different times I’ve tried all these tactics, and I’m still not sure what the best course really is. What has worked best for you?
August 14, 2019
Jobs I Wish Existed
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I have a lot of amazing talents (thank you, autism)…now, if only more of those remarkable abilities were marketable! Here is a list of things I am awesome at that I wish I could get paid to do:
Sudoku Master
Snake Spotter
Hidden Pictures or Spot the Difference Finder
LEGO put-together-er
Build a Bear Expert (no, I do not want to work in the busy store, I just want to be paid for collecting/playing with Build a Bears and knowing a lot about the brand lol)
Video Game Babysitter (I am awesome at babysitting on video games, I’ve gotten a promotion twice in the past week on my new Nintendo DS game)
Online Medical Information Gatherer and Hypochondriac
Dance Moms super-fan (I’m way too obsessed with that show)
The ability to quote The Lion King (the original of course) from beginning to end – every spoken word, every song lyric.
Cartoon character/toy identifier
Unicorn admirer
August 12, 2019
Poetry – Peruvian Art
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Eccentric
faces
made of wood,
mysteries of time
older than
golden cities.
Thick thighs
of fertility
creating order
out of nature,
and the warning
ever present –
look
but don’t touch!
August 10, 2019
Loving My New Nintendo 2DS
So I decided to treat myself to the new Nintendo 2DS with Super Mario Bros. 2 pre-installed. Am loving this handheld so far. It reminds me so much of the consoles I grew up with, but with much better graphics and cool internet connections of course.
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One semi-sad aspect of my own gaming story is that after my sister died 6 years ago, it was really hard for me to play Super Mario and many other games without tearing up or getting really emotional because it reminded me so much of all the hours I spent playing Nintendo with my sister growing up. It was probably the one thing we spent the most time doing together. Now that sadness has finally passed some and I can actually enjoy playing games again and just have fun. The only downside is that playing can become addictive, so I have to make sure I don’t neglect the things I need and want to do and just play games all day!
Another great thing about this particular DS system is that it is only $79 with the game installed! Not a bad price at all!
Now, if I could only meet some other Mii people in the Mii Plaza via StreetPass! Where are you all???
August 8, 2019
New Art: America’s Answer
I’m just gonna let this collage speak for itself and let you read into it whatever you want:
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Check out my art for sale on my Ebay store!
August 6, 2019
Video: Nostalgia Crate Subscription Box Unboxing!
For the other 80’s and 90’s children out there like me, I thought you might like revisiting memory lane with me by watching me unbox the new Nostalgia Crate toy and nerd fandom subscription box I am trying out. Of course, this particular box is geared specifically to my interests and cherished memories, but that is the fun of the box in the first place!
Hope you enjoy! Feel free to follow my YouTube vlog if you want to as well!
