Daniel M. Bensen's Blog, page 64
March 31, 2017
Humans are not adorable
Something I feel would fit comfortably into the New Frontiers universe:
http://viergacht.tumblr.com/post/159075455392/humans-are-adorable
Text:
Pft! Please. The alien who wrote that is obviously an fan-grub who has only seen pictures of humans on the ansible.
Those of us who actually work with the squishy bastards can tell you:
1. They can’t stand more than a few Gs of acceleration. And turning up the air pressure just makes them act ridiculous.
2. They’re MOODY
3. That water thing? It’s not so cute when they want a bath and you’re all in free fall and you’re like ???!
4. Snoring. Why even evolve that?
5. Uh. Don’t ask them about the nest sharing thing.
6. Music! Like. All the time or they get sad. I can’t stand it any more! Their favorite audio enrichment is right at the frequency that vibrates my eyeballs.
Look I’m not going to go through all of these points one by one. You kids have uniac. You can look it up.
Contact with humans is hard, messy, disgusting, and sometimes dangerous. But for those of us who do this for a living, there is something that makes it all worth it.
They’re DELICIOUS. Am I right, grubs?
March 29, 2017
The Fire Nation Verb
The Fire Nation Verb-Tense-Aspect system: “wood” (irrealis) “burning” (incomplete) “ash” (complete)
Ka-o ægni = The fire would burn/will burn/burns in principle
Ka-i ægni = The fire is burning/burns often
Ka-a ægni = The fire burned out/has burned out
(combine them for fun! Ka-i-o= “it might be burning”, ka-a-o-i = “it would have been burning” etc.)
From this tumblr!
https://danbensen.tumblr.com/post/158992352020/atla-linguistics-headcanons
March 28, 2017
Mole Riding!
It would work, I tell you!
from dumblr!
https://danbensen.tumblr.com/post/158957171950/how-would-one-go-around-riding-that-burrows-like
March 27, 2017
Awful Symmetry: The Believable Monster
Want to read the first chapter of the first draft of my how-to-make-good-monsters guide? Sign up for my mailing list.
Here’s the introduction:
Introduction: The Believable Monster
The Imagine a tiger. Striped fur over bunching muscles. Its sharp, wet smell. Hot air on the back of your neck. Teeth.
That’s your ecology and animal behavior. Anatomy comes next as you – at least the most nutritious parts of you – make their way through the tiger’s digestive system. Biochemistry explains exactly how the matter and energy contained in your tissues are disassembled and re-forged into more tiger. More tigers, even, if the cat that devoured you is lucky enough to find a mate. Evolution takes over from there, generating the end as well as the beginning of our story.
That’s how I’ve arranged this book, moving from the big, emergent picture to the small and fundamental. That’s the order of importance for most viewers, and more writers as well. If all you care about is what the animal wants to eat, you can safely stop at the end of chapter one, confident that you have created a good tool to move your plot along. Subsequent chapters will get more technical, and using them will allow you to do more sophisticated things with your creature-design.
If it’s worth calling life at all, extraterrestrial life will have ecology, behavior, anatomy, chemistry reproduction, and evolution. No matter how strange an alien is, it still has to work within the laws of our universe. There is such a thing as a believable monster.
Read on if you are nerd enough.
March 23, 2017
The Solomanari
Lazarki nesintari solomani
Let slip the Birds of War!
This started as a conversation with the Great Khan Melissa Walshe about how Central Asian horse nomads like the Mongols had a big advantage over city-dwelling people (hint: the answer is “horses.”) Melissa isn’t a horse nomad, but she does raise chickens and she doesn’t like cities. What would give her people a Mongol type advantage in war?
Ga-SQUAWK!
“Tax man’s at the gate again, Paw.”
“Better set loose the terror birds.”
So what do you think would happen if someone had domesticated Phorusrhacos? They’re big, they’re mean, but they can be depended upon to imprint on their masters and defend their territory.
March 21, 2017
The Very Worst Thing
I’m working through Story Genius by Lisa Cron and I thought I’d share some of the process.
Here’s the sixth exercise in the book.
“Given her misbelief, what does she think the very worst thing that could happen would be?”
Ruth believes that family is a trap. Really any kind of relationship where you can’t immediately pay favors back is a way to get yourself tangled in social debt. People love you and think they should be able to order you around, so joining a family means giving up on your own ability to make decisions.
The worst possible thing wouldn’t be being kidnapped by a family member. In that case, the kidnapper would be clearly in the wrong and Ruth would have the licence to enact whatever justice is appropriate. That would be fun.
No, the worst thing would be if Ruth’s sense of justice demanded she take orders from her family.
(in case you didn’t know, the book I’m writing is called The Centuries Unlimited)
March 20, 2017
The Sommalier Theory of Genre Fiction
I’ve been wrestling recently with why I like some books and don’t like others, which has led me to drinking thinking more deeply about what genre fiction delivers to its readers.
Emotional investment. That sense of what will happen to them next?? Also called “story” or “characterization.” Common to all types of fiction, and even some non-fiction. If the reader cares about the protagonist, the book is Sweet. If not, it’s Dry.
Factual accuracy. Important to science fiction, fantasy, mystery, and historical fiction. If your book educates the reader, it is Full-bodied. If not, it’s Light.
Internal consistency. The basis by which fantasy and science fiction are judged, also called “plausibility,” “believably,” or “good world-building.” If your book thoroughly explores the ramifications of your conceit, it is Rich. If not, it’s Fruity.
Real-world parallels. Also called “metaphor,” “theme,” or “being topical.” Especially important in science fiction and fantasy. If this book really makes the reader think, it is Balanced. If not, it’s Bitter.
Excitement. Do interesting things happen in the book? Also called “plot,” or “escapism value.” Like alcohol in wine, it’s what we’re really hear for, even if we don’t admit it. If your book entertains the reader, it is Sharp. If not, it’s Round.
And there’s writing style, which is like the packaging the wine comes in. Much as we hate to admit it, wine really does taste worse when it comes out a bag, and it’s harder to enjoy a story when the author can’t tell a comma from an apostrophe. If the author has an impressive turn of phrase, their book is Beautifully-presented. if not, it’s Poorly-presented.
Let’s try out this system on some of the books I’ve read (and enjoyed) recently:
Diaspora by Greg Egan: A rather dry book, but one of the most full-bodied I’ve ever read, and extremely rich. It’s more balanced than a book about 30th-century simulated minds might appear, and decently sharp, presented competently if not not elegantly. 4/5 stars. It would have rated higher if he hadn’t rushed the ending, which was so dry it seemed pointless.
The Hanging Tree by Ben Aaronovitch: Very sweet, and full-bodied in its portrayal of the metropolitan police and its account of London history seen through architecture, reinforced by a rich magical system. It’s a bit bitter, but only because Aaronovich doesn’t have any particular political ax to grind, which I appreciate. The last book in the series was a round for my taste, but this one is as sharp as any, with plenty of explosions and car-hurling. Presentation is competent. 5/5 stars. I love Peter!
Babylon’s Ashes by James S.A. Corey. The beginning of the series was dry, but now that I’ve gotten attached to the characters, I don’t mind. It’s a bit light, not dwelling very deeply on the technical aspects of anything, but at least it doesn’t make up technobabble, and it’s quite rich, especially with the economic ramifications of new technology. This book is quite political, but presents its argument well, and its balance is the main reason I love it. It’s also one of the sharpest books in the series, with space-battles and civil unrest. Presentation is competent (as you can see, I don’t much care about presentation). 5/5 stars. It got me through some tough times.
And you can’t see which books I hated unless you’re my friend on facebook 
March 19, 2017
Why does Ruth want it?
I’m working through Story Genius by Lisa Cron and I thought I’d share some of the process.
Here’s the sixth exercise in the book.
“why does your protagonist want what she wants?”
Ruth wants Johnnie Magician in jail because he deserves it. He struts around in broad daylight, flouting the law, being evil, and hurting countless people. He doesn’t deserve success or happiness.
(in case you didn’t know, the book I’m writing is called The Centuries Unlimited)
March 16, 2017
The Kingdom of Phoneme
This week, I’m playing with awkwords!
The Kingdom of Phoneme is in turmoil, torn apart by the factions around the brothers Hluatat and Derifum and meanced by the great general S’LãGs̩ of Abjad, as they fend of the piratical attacks of Captain KuLaEn’ZuLe of Syllabaria and the enigmatic menace of Emperor Ge Am-vam of the Ideogram Dynasty
And they all use the same phonotactics! (it’s C(R)V(C/R)V(N)C(R)V(N)(C) )
The pronunciations are /’hlu.a.tat/, /’de.ri.fum/, /’sla.gan.gus/ , /’kla.en.zle/, /geamvam/
