Daniel M. Bensen's Blog, page 28
January 31, 2020
Shadows Climb the Blocks
Shadows climb the blocks
Gray overtakes apricot
The moon faces west
January 30, 2020
January Newsletter: Hating the Sun
(warning, there’s a curse word below)
So there I was, glaring up at the gold and magenta sky, cursing the sun as it set.
Fuck you, sun! Another day ends, and I’m still here!
Blip! The lights in the park came on.
They’re very cute – just black metal pipes with LEDs at the top and Christmas lights wrapped around them. Finally, after two and a half hours of standing in the park and hating the sky, I could take my kids back to the house.
A cell phone tower
Light on its eastern faces
Turn off airplane mode
Here’s how my January should have gone. After a very stressful Christmas locked in with the in-laws, I take a deep breath and dive into the third draft of Interchange. The girls go to school, I teach my classes, I see my friends, I celebrate the launch of my new comic book, “Protector.” I enter February toasted by my friends, proud of my children, paid, and a third of the way through the manuscript I promised to send my agent by Easter. I’d also be nice to lose weight, finish this beta-reading job, forge an online community around me, and read through a textbook on ecology.
A yellow-clad block
Cuts a rectangle from the
clouds that will soon rain
The first Monday of the month, I couldn’t sleep. My older daughter wanted mommy to go to dance class with her, so I lost my weekly dates with Pavlina. That’s okay. We took the daughter to a birthday party on Saturday, so we had a date then. The daughter came back with a virus. Tuesday night, I couldn’t sleep. The virus passed through each of us one after the other. Who was going to school? Who was going to work? Who was tending the sick? Sunday night I couldn’t sleep again and every time this happened I was a useless zombie the next day! What if I can’t sleep again tonight and my daughter brought home another virus. This time it doesn’t matter that she runs a fever for three days because the flu epidemic has closed every public school in the city. For eight. WEEK. Days!
Every night I fought against the conviction that my family was going to die, and every day some new symptom presented. The day “Protector” launched, Pavlina was so dizzy she couldn’t stand up. Was it meningitis? No, it’s alright. Finally, we all seemed recovered enough that Pavlina and I got go out to dinner with an old friend. The next day she was so sick she couldn’t get out of bed again.
It is not alright!
So cancel the launch party, wonder how she’s going to fly on her business trip on Tuesday, worry about juggling the kids with those in-laws for another week. Those brats are so spoiled I can’t stand to be around them! And the weather is warm and sunny, just like when I got cancer. The reason I stayed in the park all afternoon with the kids is because when I was home I could do nothing but lie shuddering in the fetal position. What would I do if Pavlina needed surgery?
I will stay until
The hateful sky fades to black
And the lights come on.
So that’s anguish. The distance between what the world should be and what it is. There are the bad things that happen, alright. And there’s the extra effort of dealing with them, fine. But then we punish ourselves further. We scream, we rage, we beat ourselves bloody against the world, hurting ourselves orders of magnitude more than we were already hurt.
Shadows climb the blocks
Gray overtakes apricot
The moon faces west
There’s a book about writing called Story Genius, which says that the electric heart of any story is the lesson that the world teaches the protagonist. For example: “When his wife dies, a hubristic family man must throw aside his plans for success and protect his family in a foreign country.” Compelling, isn’t it?
But not true. The world is not a story centered on me. God is not trying to teach me a lesson. Things just happen, and I don’t enjoy some of them. It helps nothing to curse the sun. Find warmth where you can until the streetlights will come on.
And as glad as I am that January is over, it wasn’t actually the hell-month I thought it was. I did see friends and cuddle children. “Protector” got launched, and it’s getting some good press. I’m especially proud of this interview, and this one’s not bad either. I’m about a third done with this draft of Interchange, over a difficulty-hump, and on track to finish by Easter. Let me know if you want to beta-read what I’ve got so far! And speaking of Easter, I’m signed up for Eastercon in Bristol, and I’ll hopefully be on some panels. I have a few publications eligible for the Hugos. I thought some good thoughts about writing processes. I did go on those dates with Pavlina, and her business trip went well. I got enough sleep.
Maybe February will be better. If it isn’t, maybe I’ll deal with it better.
And now for something completely different:
Kipt igipûe aenē kēsa / byźai dârsai ypa dēsâ.
Ebron, aiźi, byźâs kâ / šâlmon, bleptē, bostâs kâ,
As tae ûeson ypâr rinkan / kirin tai pe ûe abbinkan.
Once upon a time there were brave goats under heaven.
A kid, a nanny, and a billy-goat, clever, loyal, and strong.
Who happily would rush up the hill for to make themselves fat.
Tans ispilsa iâtrē strymē / mâd kirins, śân târē dymē.
Ypa ûērâ tâ isērpssa źērē: / źymlē tē ydrēnē mērē!
Byźulâs žilins źilmins ada. / Bolûârē kela genta rhoda.
A fast river blocked them between the hills, with a dark guard.
Under the bridge crawled a beast: the great water dragon!
A little goat eats green herbs. A serpent gulps red meat.
Pešēnon ērgât ēbron do. / Šâpšâpton ērgât an nygō.
Źymlē tē ilâ iglâûsa. / “Kis śy ēs?” Nedton iglâtsa.
“Mânon ēm ēźo: ēbron.” / “Sân abâdam sâniston!”
First comes the kid. Chop Chop it goes on hooves.
The dragon heard this. “Who are you” she roared.
“It’s only me: a kid.” “Then I’ll eat you up at once!”
Dâ prâglâs as an ēbre te / eg zi šalmō tes ibutûe.
“Ērgât aiźē o ydrēnin. / Ân ûe isźas drâkûēnin,
Kiptas genton pi palon.” / Sân idakûe iē gurmon.
But the answer of the kid was among the cleverest.
A nanny comes to the watery one. If you wait for your meal,
You will have more meat.” This she greedily did.
Sâkton aiźē tē ûe âra. / Pipikton brâma iē an parâ.
Źymlē tē ilâ iglâûsa. / “Kis śy ēs?” Nedton iglâtsa.
” Mânon aiźē ēm ēźo.” / “Isźam ûe peâdon śo!”
Next the nanny sends herself. Pick pick she sounds on the ford.
The dragon heard this. “Who are you” she roared.
“A nanny is all I am.” “I’ve been waiting to begin eating you!”
Dâ prâglâs as an aiźē tē / Palo iērźûe bleptē.
“Ērgât byźâs o ydrēnin. Ân ûe isźas drâkûēnin,
Kiptas genton pi palon.” Sân idakûe iē gurmon.
But the answer of the nanny was very loyal.
“A billy comes to the watery one. If you wait for your meal,
You will have more meat.” This she greedily did.
What will happen next? Probably a spelling reform. Stay tuned!
And what did I like this month?
“Pocket Full of Gold” by American Authors. It was from a K-drama’s sound track!
“Hana” by Orange Range. It was from a movie I liked in college.
“Must be Dreaming” by Frou frou. From an anime music video!
Murder on a Midsummer’s Night by Kerry Greenwood. What was this one even about? Antiquing and the inability to trust? It was nice.
Dragon Teeth by Michael Chrichton. A ripping adventure. Wyatt Erp was great. Someone needed to check the paleontology though. Brotosaurus teeth don’t look anything like that.
The Wood for the Trees by Richard Fortey. Really good! The cozy journal of a retired paleontologist playing in his new forest. The first nature book I’ve read since Your Inner Fish that didn’t hate human beings.
Crash Space by Scott R. Bakker well-written and interesting, but it’s the “oh what a horrible future we live in!” kind of sci-fi that I find tiresome.
Zero History by William Gibson. Surprisingly sweet! I especially liked the recovery of the drug addict.
Alright. See you all on the other side of February. Let’s hope the weather stays cold.
I Will Stay Until
I will stay until
The hateful sky fades to black
And the lights come on.
January 29, 2020
Protector is out!
Protector #1 is out!
Of all the tribes that dwell in the hot ruins of far-future North America, the Hudsoni reign supreme, but even they fear and obey the godlike Devas. When the Devas warn of an old-world demon in the conquered city of Shikka-Go, Hudsoni war chief First Knife decides to deal with the threat personally.
You can find it at the Image Comics site, Amazon, Comixology, Book Depository, and Comics Omnivore
Here’s more:
A great interview Simon, Artyom, and I did for Comics Beat
A video preview with music!
A preview of the first half of issue one on Bleeding Cool and AVClub
Perry Comics’s video review of issue 1
Blue Tiger Podcast’s interview with Simon Roy
Comicon.com’s page on Protector
Outrightgeekery’s page on Protector
Butwhytho’s review of Protector
Graphic Policy’s page on Protector
January 28, 2020
A Yellow-clad Block
A yellow-clad block
Cuts a rectangle from the
clouds that will soon rain
January 23, 2020
Interchange is ready for Beta-readers!
I’m currently on chapter 3 of the “meat draft” of Interchange, which means I have two chapters that are ready for beta readers. Personally, I like to beta-read in small chunks, and if you do too, come on down! Let me know, and I’ll add you to the google doc of each chapter as I finish it. Then you can tell me everything I’ve done wrong 
January 21, 2020
A Cell Phone Tower
A cell phone tower
Light on its eastern faces
Turn off airplane mode
January 5, 2020
Hugo voting is open!
Junction (novel) https://bit.ly/2FoTwG9
“Transportation” (essay on SFWA website) https://bit.ly/2tv6H5B
“Writing Wrongly” (essay in Apex Magainze) https://bit.ly/2rVdd59
Vote here: https://bit.ly/2SV0tGJ
coming up: MY hugo noms!
January 2, 2020
Writing Processes
This year I’ve been looking for mentors. Mostly that means cyber-stalking authors I admire, sifting through their interviews and essays for nuggets of incite about their processes. Note that this isn’t writing “advice” it’s reporting by authors about their everyday process. Wake up, walk the dog, write. The sort of thing. Things I can try out to see whether they’ll work for me.
I started doing this about a year ago, and the results have been very good, in the quality of the work I produce (I like it), the speed with which I produce it (two novels, a handful of essays and short stories, monthly newsletters, and good progress on other projects), and the diminishing of the negative side-effects of writing (burnout, existential crises, etc.).
If you’re looking for advice, you might just as well do the above and not bother reading the rest of this post, but for those of you who are curious, here’s what’s been most basic and useful to me.
Lois McMaster Bujold:
“I’ve described my usual writing process as scrambling from peak to peak on inspiration through foggy valleys of despised logic. Inspiration is better — when you can get it.”
-from Young Miles (1997) in the “Author’s Afterword,” but Bujold goes into more detail in Sidelines.
From this I learned that I should fit my process to my inspiration, because the opposite is impossible. Write down that idea that strikes you in the bus. Then wrap a plot around it. Since then, I’ve gotten better at cultivating my ability to find and grow inspiration.
Terry Pratchett:
“Each book has two stories; the story Terry wanted to tell and what he called a scaffolding story which kept you entertained while Terry was telling the other story.”
– from a Quora page, but Pratchett talked about it himself in A Slip of The Keyboard.
This was a huge breakthrough for me. A way to tame those Bujoldian peaks of inspiration. Sit down every morning, meditate, and then write what comes to you. Don’t worry about whether it makes sense. Just write the scaffolding story. Then go back and string those scenes together with logic. My scaffolding stories tend to take between one and three months, and range between a fifth and half the length of the finished novel.
Greg Egan
“Science fiction is wasted when it’s used simply to crank out metaphors for familiar things; that’s like mistaking a microscope for a paperweight. ”
From Greg Egan (Modern Masters of Science Fiction) by Karen Burnham.
This helped me clarify my reaction to subversion in fiction and literary deconstruction. I can’t stand them. On a more practical level, Egan talks about using textbooks to teach himself the physics he illustrates in his fiction. That’s exactly what I want to do.
Sam Hughes
“It’s okay: there are limitless more words in you, where those came from. ”
-from “Write Like a Programmer“
That essay also has some excellent things to say about writing with a purpose. Understanding my writing’s purpose and its source, turned me from a teacher with an expensive hobby to a writer.
Next up, I’m going to see if I can dig up some essays or interviews with R. Scott Bakker, William Gibson, and David Wong, who I’m enjoying at the moment. Do you have recommendations for other authors I should hunt down? Let me know. And happy new year’s. May we make some awesome.
Also:
“Don’t write. Revise”
I think this one was from the TV show Modern Family? It’s good advice! I’m sure some famous Hollywood personage said it originally.
