Kimberly Stuart's Blog, page 3
April 15, 2016
Spring Fashion Report 2016
Spring has sprung! The buds on my viburnum smell delicious, my daffodils are in full bloom, and this sentence sounds like I know what to do in a yard. That's the prerogative of a blog writer. You get to lie at will.
To help you get the most out of your life, I here offer you a guide to this year's spring fashion. You're probably going to want to take notes.
**NOTE: I want you to know
To help you get the most out of your life, I here offer you a guide to this year's spring fashion. You're probably going to want to take notes.
**NOTE: I want you to know
April 8, 2016
How much wood...
It's that time of year again.
The time of new shoots pushing through the dirt, the time of blue skies (if you don't live in Iowa this week), and the time of the woodchuck.
That's right. The woodchuck. That disgusting, weirdo animal that follows me wherever I go. I even moved houses a few years ago, but Chuckles followed me. Remember Chuckles?
He's back. He loves me. I hate him.
I
The time of new shoots pushing through the dirt, the time of blue skies (if you don't live in Iowa this week), and the time of the woodchuck.
That's right. The woodchuck. That disgusting, weirdo animal that follows me wherever I go. I even moved houses a few years ago, but Chuckles followed me. Remember Chuckles?
He's back. He loves me. I hate him.
I
April 1, 2016
A Week in the Life
Good gravy, I'm tired. Why am I so tired? Are you tired?
You know this means we are old. We never used to be tired. Old people are exhausted. Probably because they have been walking and talking and processing and thinking and parenting for so long. And probably also because just seeing famous people gets wearying real fast.
One of the byproducts of being tired is that I don't journal.
You know this means we are old. We never used to be tired. Old people are exhausted. Probably because they have been walking and talking and processing and thinking and parenting for so long. And probably also because just seeing famous people gets wearying real fast.
One of the byproducts of being tired is that I don't journal.
March 25, 2016
Amazing Grace
Today is Good Friday.
This term, "Good Friday," has caused no shortage of consternation at our dinner table over the years.
"What is good about Good Friday?"
Thea has a particular issue with the terminology. "Jesus died! A horrible, mean, painful death! He died and He didn't even do anything wrong! It should be called 'Crappy Friday' or 'Saddest Friday Ever' or 'Unfair Friday.'"
This term, "Good Friday," has caused no shortage of consternation at our dinner table over the years.
"What is good about Good Friday?"
Thea has a particular issue with the terminology. "Jesus died! A horrible, mean, painful death! He died and He didn't even do anything wrong! It should be called 'Crappy Friday' or 'Saddest Friday Ever' or 'Unfair Friday.'"
March 18, 2016
Spring Break 2016
I visited my sister this week.
The kids and I got in the car to drive from Des Moines to Denver and 2765 hours later, we arrived. We had a lovely time. We hiked a mountain.
Some of us got courier service down the rough patches.
We saw some beautiful views and tried out avant garde hairstyles. I think this one is a winner.
We visited a museum. SOME OF US wanted to read. Every.
The kids and I got in the car to drive from Des Moines to Denver and 2765 hours later, we arrived. We had a lovely time. We hiked a mountain.
Some of us got courier service down the rough patches.
We saw some beautiful views and tried out avant garde hairstyles. I think this one is a winner.
We visited a museum. SOME OF US wanted to read. Every.
March 11, 2016
Visit to Centro (Field Trip!)
Most of my life is raising a family with Marc. And by that I mean most of my life is making messes and then cleaning up the messes, both literal and figurative.
And then sometimes I write novels, usually while wearing a bathrobe and a furrowed brow, which is only adding to The Wrinkle Issue. When I'm writing these novels in my robe and with my wrinkles, there is no glamour within a ten-mile
And then sometimes I write novels, usually while wearing a bathrobe and a furrowed brow, which is only adding to The Wrinkle Issue. When I'm writing these novels in my robe and with my wrinkles, there is no glamour within a ten-mile
March 4, 2016
My daughter is reading one of my books.
Ana is reading Operation Bonnet.
So is our mini Schnauzer, but I think Ana is getting more out of it.
Or at least I hope she is.
I'm trying to act natural, like it's no biggie. Whatever, man! That's cool. Go ahead, read it. Hope you like it. Or not. Or whatever.
Of course I'm a total faker. I REALLY hope she likes it. I will be VERY SAD if she thinks it's horrible. Or not funny. Or
So is our mini Schnauzer, but I think Ana is getting more out of it.
Or at least I hope she is.
I'm trying to act natural, like it's no biggie. Whatever, man! That's cool. Go ahead, read it. Hope you like it. Or not. Or whatever.
Of course I'm a total faker. I REALLY hope she likes it. I will be VERY SAD if she thinks it's horrible. Or not funny. Or
February 26, 2016
Oscars Viewing Guide
A thousand years ago, when I was young and carefree, I used to watch movies. Moving pictures, as we called them. It was a grand time, a glamorous time, a time when I could eat an entire bag of Cheetos and not feel anything but happiness. It was a time when I could sleep in until noon and not even have a fever. It was a time when I not only knew who was up for an Oscar but also had seen most if
February 19, 2016
You Take Care Now
I had my first manicure last week.
Actually, it wasn't a real manicure. It was a fake one, lasting only about ten minutes. And it was free. And I was in an airport lounge where the "manicurist" might also have been the "janitor." I don't know. I didn't ask. Because it was FANTASTIC.
My nails looked really lovely and girly for about three days. Now they look like this.
But for a moment
Actually, it wasn't a real manicure. It was a fake one, lasting only about ten minutes. And it was free. And I was in an airport lounge where the "manicurist" might also have been the "janitor." I don't know. I didn't ask. Because it was FANTASTIC.
My nails looked really lovely and girly for about three days. Now they look like this.
But for a moment
February 12, 2016
All the Single Ladies: A Valentine's Day Letter
Dear Me in 1996,
Happy Valentine's Day. Don't roll your eyes. You're not above Valentine's Day. I know, I know, it's so commercialized and such an obvious ploy by stores to make money on sentiment. You'll totally torch your final in Feminist Messages in the Postmodern Media this semester.
Also, you're getting a little annoying.
Plus, if you're honest with your postmodern self, you're
Happy Valentine's Day. Don't roll your eyes. You're not above Valentine's Day. I know, I know, it's so commercialized and such an obvious ploy by stores to make money on sentiment. You'll totally torch your final in Feminist Messages in the Postmodern Media this semester.
Also, you're getting a little annoying.
Plus, if you're honest with your postmodern self, you're
