Lavinia Thompson's Blog: Seeking reviewers! , page 5

January Writing Prompt 3

The Fire within

An atrabilious night

in which I gave up;

scintillating stars somehow

melancholic and mopey.

The ebony, edacious,

devoured me

but one star remained above

burning

brighter

with time.

A mesmeric morning

to which I survived,

clambering away from

a rocky bottom

of angered waves bound

to drown me

but not today.

Bones broken,

scars bleeding,

fingers skinned,

still I crawled onward

before collapsing,

sea water at my skin.

A friscilating horizon ahead

exploding auburn and gold;

Slowly I awaken

to the way it

smears and shimmers

alongside passion.

The fire within

doesn’t always arrive as

flames licking ruins.

Sometimes it’s that

lone searing star

waiting for the day

you see it once more.

Image by dakzxz from Pixabay

January Writing Prompts 2

Day 2: Angels Fall

We can’t all be angels. Even they fall,

entangled in white silk, stars and clouds

carrying the world when it hits a wall,

running rampant, ignorantly disavowed.

We can’t all be angels. Or can we?

To be entwined in love and light

when we think that what we see

are firmaments endless as the fight.

We can’t all be angels. Sometimes they fall

and it takes us all to lift them aboard

when waves crush wings and words appall,

love remains at the end of the world.

We can’t all be angels, or can we?

Sometimes we forget what we can be.

January Writing Prompts 1

Say Goodbye

It intrigues me how it’s on the days we say goodbye that we remember the little things.

I can still close my eyes and recall the bitter frigid cold at a friend’s funeral as a teenager. We were kids, far too young to face our own mortality and yet there it was. Giant snowflakes fluttered down around that small town, swirling around the church where everyone who loved you gathered. And I hope you know how many people loved you. You deserved to shine for much longer than you had a chance to.

This year, hug your friends and tell them you love them. You never know.

Another friend died in 2014, only in her twenties and still far too young to go. We’d planned on reconnecting. While ruminating over a cocktail that night, I stood in the kitchen in shock, contemplating how we spent the years after high school saying we’d reconnect and hang out. And never did. All it would have taken was a phone call or a message. We lived in the same town. It had been so long that I still only knew the teenage version of her, not the woman she had become.

This year, call those old friends, make plans, and carry through. One day, you run out of time.

I’d encountered death plenty as a kid. My grandparents all passed when I was young. They were old. It hurt, and I still miss them terribly, but it didn’t shock me. I grew up without my dad, who died while my mother was pregnant with me. The void has been there all my life, a reminder of how death strikes when we least expect it. Yet at thirteen, I still couldn’t comprehend the death of a friend my age.

Even at twenty-five, it shook up my world. I joke about being old in my early thirties, but it’s merely a beginning to a new era of adulthood my two friends will never get to see. It’s true: we don’t say goodbye once. We say it a million times in a million different ways as years go by. I say it every time the snowflakes get massive, every time I think of how he strung himself up with Christmas lights and came to school. I say it every time she pops up in Facebook Memories or when I hear a song she adored as a teenager and never stopped listening to. Avril Lavigne. Evanescence. Did she still listen to them in the same way I still listen to Britney Spears?

Life changes so much in our twenties and often into our thirties, before we settle down into a rhythm of adulthood. Old friends can get shuffled to a back burner while we start careers and families, or travel, or simply navigate through mental health and the dumpster fire the world can be. Make 2022 the year you bring them back. Make this the year you don’t miss out on these friends.

One day, you run out of time.

Reflections on 2021: Thank you.

It seems redundant to get all nostalgic and wistful on New Year’s Eve. Originally, I wasn’t going to make this post. I didn’t think I had much to say after a second year of a raging pandemic, the year I lost my beloved dog and felt incredibly… stuck. Emotionally, mentally, financially, physically, stuck.

But Facebook Memories has a way of throwing at a person things from years past that either make one cringe or reflect. Today, it made me reflect, upon showing me a post I made on New Year’s Eve of 2017 – the year my marriage ended. As I got home from grocery shopping today and finished feeding the cats, then made a cup of tea, a song came on which kept on point with the theme. Tina Turner, “When the Heartache is Over”.

In the same way that 2021 was significant for Tina Turner getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a solo artist, separate from her ex-husband, this year had a way of showing me light, opportunities, friendship and more despite the adversities the world is facing. I, too, have separated my identity and life from my ex-husband and everything that marriage was. Much like how Stevie Nicks also had to find herself, personally and creatively, after she and Lindsey Buckingham broke up.

My adversities didn’t end with 2017. I entered 2018 with optimism, but still spiraled into a horrible depression rut in which I was suicidal. I couldn’t bring myself to write. I could barely function through work. Being cheated on made me feel worthless, ugly and that I would never be good enough for anyone. That I was unlovable. I saw absolutely no reason to go on. I was exhausted of living, of being strong, of resilience. Of living with myself.

Writing is as much a part of who I am as breathing is to life.

At that point, I’d been working on my rock star series, “Edge of Glory” for six years, maybe longer. The fallout of my marriage left me feeling disconnected from a story whose characters I adored and still do, but I couldn’t salvage the story. I couldn’t keep going on with something that skidded to a halt and became stagnant. I ended 2018 by doing something terrifying that would uproot my entire writing career. I changed genres.

In January 2019, I began plotting and building characters for what I thought was going to be a brief spinoff from a project I was working on with my long time co-writer and best friend. This “spinoff” became its own series and has taken over my writing life completely. That was the birth of “Beyond Dark” and the dynamic duo of Alyssa and Thayer. All I wanted to do, starting out, was explore the character of a serial killer’s daughter that had been in my mind for many years.

In February 2021, in a surreal time that I thought I would never arrive at back in 2018, I hit the “publish” button on the first book in the series. “Belladonna” is dark and twisted while both the killer and Alyssa agonize with massive insecurity and trauma, a reflection of the place from which I was emerging as both a person and a writer. That book means the world to me. The series is my obsession and my love. It is what I started when I was on my own, discovering who I am and struggling to find my place as a writer. I wrestled with insecurities throughout the entire first and second drafts, unsure if I could write mystery. After crashing with “Edge of Glory”, after so many years devoted to that story only to come up empty, writing, editing, and publishing “Belladonna” in two years astounded me. I blew my own mind. There’s something healing in that.

I could finish a book.

I could keep going.

I could write again.

I had a future again.

It’s still not easy, between the depression and the trauma and the state of the world. But it’s better. I still struggle a bit with who I am as a writer. For many years, I spoke openly about my abuse and my healing journey. In 2020, somewhere in my weariness of my own trauma, I became quieter about it. Not everyone wants to be the poster child for recovery and survival. Maybe it was time to let that go and focus on the present. But every time I talk to someone about “Belladonna”, the place from which it came, one word keeps coming up. And even in an interview I did recently, the word sat in the headline of the Twitter post.

“Inspirational.”

I’ve never applied this word to myself. I see nothing inspirational about the regurgitation of emotions, the agony, the scattered pieces that all come with healing. Journals filled with scribbled pages about why I feel this way or that, decoding my own brain and nervous system. Working my entire life around living with severe chronic depression, right down to how I clean my house and prepare meals for the week. Living in a messy depression house during the ruts doesn’t feel inspirational. That’s the thing about survival, about resilience:

People see the shield and the armour, but they don’t see what went into building the entire fortress and what happens beyond the walls.

But even as I learn and apply new coping mechanisms, as I write and publish more books, I’ve come to accept that there is a story that will always be my own. Hitting rock bottom in 2017 and crawling back to be here, on New Year’s Eve of 2021, has led me to embracing this. Not as my entire identity as before, but as a piece that will always be there. It’s up me what I do with it, whether I bury it at the bottom of a box, or air it out so that perhaps others can know they aren’t alone. So that the ones who don’t want to be the poster children for healing and surviving, don’t have to be. Healing looks different for everyone. For me, it has always been in creating, speaking out and writing stories.

We need to believe it will be better, that there is a future. Even if the victories are small and personal. Even if the only one who knows of the accomplishments is yourself. There is considerable strength in pulling yourself out of rock bottom, even if you crawled, to make a comeback.

Because when the heartache is over, there is light.

What does 2022 look like?

Well, I did a crazy thing and jumped at the opportunity to take up a time slot with an editing company for the end of January, since their word count max fit for a novella. With the unexpected realization that I gave myself a deadline, I have been feverishly rewriting and editing “Martha Holmes Mysteries”. This used to be “She’s so Lovely” but I have since re-titled and re-branded it. The story and characters took on life of their own in this second draft.

The first book of “Martha Holmes Mysteries” will be released in 2022.

I am thinking perhaps March or April. A pre-order will go up as soon as I decide. It’ll likely be April, to give myself extra time for any mishaps that may come up.

I am still rewriting and editing “Beyond Dark 2: Gravedigger”. That, too, will hopefully see a release date in later 2022. I have a ton more editing on other drafts to do, as well, for books three and four, and the undercover spinoff I was working on. Those will see light again this year, too.

And what of “Edge of Glory”? That’s a subplot of this post I cannot leave unaddressed. It won’t remain abandoned. I’ve been toying with new plot ideas and the possibility of turning it into a novella series. It might be this year. It might not be. But Lindsay, Rex, Harley and the rest of that beloved cast shall return with their rock star shenanigans.

On a final note for 2021: thank you.

For my followers, readers, friends, and family for all of the support and love over the years. Whether I met you back in my Wattpad days, whether we’re in a Discord server together, if we met in a childfree group on Facebook, if we’ve just been Facebook friends for so long we don’t remember how we met, or if you’re one of my cherished offline friends, it doesn’t matter. You’ve all touched my life in various ways and it means the world to me. If you’ve been in the trenches with my mental health with me, whether you’ve been a quiet presence, if we only talk once in a while because of life, or whatever your support has looked like, thank you. It all matters. We all matter. I’ll see you in 2022.

Retitling and rebranding "She's so Lovely"

I hope everyone is having a lovely holiday, whatever celebrate or don't. Accompanied by my four cats and a boozy Earl Grey tea, having taken some time off work, I am focusing on editing "She's so Lovely" - it goes to an editor at the end of January. I am looking forward to an early 2022 release, with "Beyond Dark 2: Gravedigger" to follow. I spent yesterday making a book trailer for "Belladonna" which will go up on the website! It's already been posted to Instagram and TikTok, if you haven't seen it already. I've never made one before, so it was an interesting experience. Anyway...

I started "She's so Lovely" as an experimental mystery/romance type of novella series. Getting to know new characters and a new fictional world outside of my "Beyond Dark" universe has been a lot of fun. My vision for SSL was originally a "Sex and the City" meets mystery type of deal. But over rewriting and editing the first novella, it took on life of its own. The characters have truly come into their own and are telling me their stories. Somewhere within all that, I came to realize that SSL is less mystery/romance and more mystery/women's fiction.

The difference between romance and women's fiction (also called chick lit) can be blurry for many. Romance is a genre with a pretty rigid structure to it and adamant reader expectations (the main one, of course, being a "happily ever after" ending). Women's fiction is less rigid, and doesn't require romance to make the plot. It deals with every day issues women encounter and their lives. Which gets tied into many stories. The women's fiction plot that will underlay the mystery aspect will be Martha's journey as her marriage ends, navigating through a painful divorce and finding her way in a new life. The original series title, "She's so Lovely" was meant to reflect a more playful, light-hearted and witty tone, but that has changed throughout this rewrite. As stories tend to do, they take on a tone and heart of their own, and as writers, we must follow that to keep it as authentic as possible. It still won't take on the heavy-hitting serial killers or mental health issues that "Beyond Dark" does, but Martha's story will take readers on a journey familiar to many women. Divorce, heartbreak, starting over and exploring a new world, whether that means dating, self-exploration while staying single, and complicated relationships with others. Her career as a private investigator will also see a massive shift.

So, with all that said, I am thrilled to reintroduce you to Martha Holmes and the new title and look for her series!

Official blurb

Private investigator Martha Holmes is falling out of love and back into her life - or so she thinks, until a decade-old missing persons case comes her way. Two teenage girls have been missing for over ten years, and their families have never given up looking. Desperate, the brother of one of the girls turns to Martha, relying on her solid reputation to find answers.

Martha isn't so sure she can carry the weight of the girls' lives and what their disappearances have done to the community, especially when she discovers there are more victims. The shambles of her marriage have left her uncertain of her capabilities and unsure of who she is. She elicits the help of her best friend, Daisy, to ensure the world hasn't forgotten Ottawa's lost girls. Is there a chance to find t hem alive, still, or will Martha deliver the news she dreads most? As she sorts through leads that aren't what they seem, and as more lives are endangered, it becomes apparent the suspect hasn't forgotten the girls either - and might not let Martha get to the truth, or them.

A serial killer on the 2021 bingo card?

A lone red shopping cart in the woods isn’t suspicious or disturbing to anyone on a normal day. But images coming out of Virginia are making that sight one not to be forgotten any time soon.

Allene Elizabeth “Beth” Redmon, 54-years old. Tonita Lorice Smith, 39-years old. Cheyenne Brown, 29-years old.

These three women, and one so far unidentified victim, have been linked to a serial killer in Virginia. Police in Fairfax, VA, arrested 35-year old Anthony Robinson in connection with four murders that have happened since August. He’s come to be known as “the Shopping Cart Killer” for incredibly demented reasons.

He met his victims on dating sites, and at motels, before killing them and putting their bodies in containers. In a bizarre spin, he transported the bodies via shopping cart to dispose of the containers. Brown and the remains of the fourth unidentified victim were found in the same container, which was discovered by investigators who found a red shopping cart in a wooded area.

Fairfax County Police Department

Despite Robinson having a stunning lack of criminal history, investigators believe more victims are out there. He lived a transient life, which means he could have left a trail of victims anywhere. It could take a long time to comb through for similar cases. But the MO is so specific, those murders would stand out. Police are cross-referencing Robinson’s dating app history with those of missing persons cases.

This a bizarre case, and with it being so fresh in the news, I won’t speculate here about the “unspeakable” things police say he did to the remains, out of respect for the victims and their families. I think the fact the women were in containers says enough for the mind to fill in the details. We don’t know much about the women yet, but he clearly wasn’t picky on age when it comes to victimology. The only detail we can truly surmise upon is the probability of the unidentified victim also being a woman.

In a society where we’re all so connected online, it’s horrifying that something as ordinarily used as dating sites could become a serial killer’s hunting ground. The more humans become connected, the less safe women become, it seems.

It brings me back to that Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

Links

People Magazine article

,New York Times article

Book Review: "Diamond Doris" by Doris Payne

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4/5 stars)

Doris Payne is not your average jewel thief. This isn't another saga from the Pink Panthers, the international jewel heist group. No, Doris worked with only few close associates and committed her heists alone with stealth and a touch of seduction. Reading her book is like sitting with her in her home and listen to her spin tales from her years of travelling the world and robbing jewel shops along the way.

Her life adventures, while illegal, are enthralling and one cannot help but keep turning the pages of this sometimes unbelievable tale. But, as Doris herself says, "only you have to believe it." I have read many books about jewel heists committed in groups that involved drilling through thick vaults and spending an entire weekend getting to jewels and riches. To read about Doris's methods was sometimes affronting yet intriguing. It took me a little bit to get into this book but once I did, it was a wild ride!

Zodiac Killer case update

I know I am almost a week late to this party, but I am walking in with my whiskey nonetheless because WOW. I have been reading through articles and information about the most recent revelation in Zodiac Killer suspects until my eyes and head hurt. In following up my previous post about it being one of my obsessions, it was with bizarre timing that a group called the Case Breakers released a press statement claiming to have identified the Zodiac Killer.

But their so-called evidence is full of holes, circumstantial at best, cryptic and incredibly vague. Part of studying old cases like this is keeping an open mind. Suspects come and go. Nut jobs who claim to be or to know the killer step into the light and fade.

The Case Breakers is an investigative group comprised of 40 members, ranging from apparent former FBI, law enforcement and journalists. They’ve named Gary Francis Poste as the Zodiac Killer. However, the FBI and law enforcement in California have said the case is still open and they have no new information. So, it is NOT technically closed. Gary Poste died in 2018.

The Case Breakers claims to have the following evidence:

- A photo of Poste in which his forehead scar apparently matches that of a composite sketch of the Zodiac Killer from 1969. The problem with this is that the sketch was done based on the eyewitness testimony of teenagers from across a darkened street – there is no realistic way they would have been close enough to see any scars. These are likely forehead lines added by the artist to show the age of the suspect. The surviving victim, Bryan Hartnell, didn’t see the killer’s face, as Zodiac wore a mask when he attacked Bryan and his girlfriend, Cecilia Shepherd.

- Deciphering one of the Zodiac letters has supposedly revealed Poste’s name. But, as many on forums and online elsewhere have pointed out, one could play with the letters and symbols of these ciphers in various ways to get a desired result. I know little of deciphering such things and can’t comment much more on this one, other than to say I’ve seen a few people online try to use the same theory to break down the letter and didn’t come up with the same result. Jen Bucholtz, part of the Case Breakers group, told Fox News that one needed to know Gary Francis Poste’s full name in order to decode the letter. The Zodiac never left any hints of his identity – I doubt he was about to start with that letter.

- And a print from what the Case Breakers call a “military style boot” at the Bates crime scene allegedly matched Poste’s. However, one who knows the Zodiac cases would know that it wasn’t a boot, but a military style dress shoe print that was found.

There’s also a huge mess on social media regarding Gary Poste’s stepson and the Case Breakers allegedly making nine eyewitnesses sign non-disclosure and Life Story Rights agreements (it’s even stated right on their website. I’ll list everything at the end of this post).

This is a red flag – are they trying to solve the Zodiac case for the sake of the victims and finding closure, or are they seeking the next Netflix special to line their pockets? The Case Breakers have also gone on to claim there was some kind of criminal “posse” led by Gary Poste in the Sierra mountains and that the Zodiac Killer was leading some sort of psychopathic murder group, of which there is no evidence. One would think more murders would have made the news back then had this been happening. The Zodiac murders were national news. I’m not going to waste blog space on this conspiracy. It’s bizarre and has no merit.

There is much conflicting information, but it appears this goes back to 2015 when the Case Breakers were approached by someone who knew Poste, alleging that he was the Zodiac Killer. The Case Breakers claim to have an informant who only goes by the name “Will” and is in hiding, though it isn’t clear what from. Even mainstream news sources seem reluctant to pick this story up. So far, only TMZ, the New York Post and a few others that are more like tabloids have and their headlines are terribly misleading. The US Sun couldn’t even spell Kathleen Johnson’s last name correctly – and got some of their information from TMZ. Not terribly convincing.

I know I am not the only one who opened Twitter or any social media last week and got excited over this potential news, but it seems we have been let down yet again. It wasn’t that long ago when Gary Stewart released a book claiming that his father, Earl Van Best, was the Zodiac Killer, again based only on the composite sketches.

The problem is, composite sketches rely on eyewitness memory. And while in the sixties, since law enforcement lacked DNA and forensic technology we have now, composite sketches were still relied on, they aren’t exact. How many people in the world look alike? Claiming a few forehead lines could be scars or positively identifies a serial killer whose case is 52 years old is absurd. Poste bears some resemblance to the sketch, but it isn’t a definitive identification.

The Case Breakers are also focused on the Cheri Jo Bates case, which has not been positively linked to the Zodiac murders. In 1975, the FBI said it could be linked. A year after Bates’s murder, detectives got a letter claiming the case was linked to the Zodiac Killer. However, a 2016 letter they received claimed it to be “a sick joke.” Both letters were anonymous. The Riverside police stated the writer of the letter said he wasn’t the Zodiac Killer and he was seeking attention. He was cleared.

This group also goes on and on about how DNA evidence needs to be tested. GUYS. If there was DNA evidence to test, it would have been already! All that exists for DNA evidence is a partial profile taken from one of the envelopes he sent his letters in. Partial profiles cannot be used to point to one person, only to exclude them from the suspect list when it doesn’t match. The sample could belong to anyone. Bloody fingerprints were also left on the cab of driver Paul Stine, but have yet to match a suspect.

Personally, I believe this case will fall into the likes of Jack the Ripper in that it won’t be solved. Unless technology continues to progress over the years, there isn’t enough DNA or ways of testing to conclusively identify this notorious monster. And let’s not forget that there were real victims behind this madness. This isn’t a fictional killer. This was real. And it always irks me when the media and groups and whatever else want to turn serial killers into a spectacle, into entertainment value, or to make money. There were real people being harmed. Lives robbed. Families and friends devastated. While the Zodiac Killer got to slink away into anonymity, there were broken hearts and irreparable grief left behind. It still matters, and we cannot, we must not, forget that part.

The Rolling Stone Magazine's interview with Tom Voigt, operator of ZodiacKiller.com and author. And honestly, his website is an amazing resource for any facts about the case.

The Case Breakers press statement

The Case Breakers website page where they discuss the NDA and Life Story Rights agreements, among other things.

This was also an interesting article I came across that discusses why the Zodiac Killer has yet to be caught.

Updates!

Well, summer definitely wasn’t what it should have been. Or what I planned.

I’ve been inactive on my blog and newsletter because my beloved dog died suddenly in August. A few other things came up, but long story short, my summer holidays were not the mental and emotional reset I usually get, so my mental health took a nosedive for the last two months. I wasn’t writing or editing much like I wanted to. So, I apologize for the lack of updates. Reading hasn’t been a priority either, but I am hoping to delve into another book soon so I can post a review. But I think we’re back on track after this.

First things first:

I made an announcement on my website about my mystery/romance novella series, “She’s so Lovely” as my Patreon project to be posted this fall. This is still a go. I am working on editing and it will get to a beta reader by the end of October. I am hoping to have it up on Patreon by the end of the year.

More info here! As for “Beyond Dark”, a few updates:

“Belladonna”, the eBook, will be on sale on Kobo for Canadian Thanksgiving weekend (Oct. 7 – 11) for 99 cents (regular $3.99). So if you or someone you know was wanting to snag a copy, here’s your chance!

The sequel, “Gravedigger”, in still in the editing process. I am working on draft two. Also, I am almost done the first draft of book three: “One More Light”, a crossover between “Beyond Dark” and the undercover spinoff, “Beyond Cover”. I hope to have “Gravedigger” out early next year, but I will announce a date when I know for sure. It still needs an official cover and a professional edit after this. For more information Alyssa and Thayer’s next adventure, visit the website page!

I hope everyone is well. Thanks for bearing with me through this and for your patience. An official newsletter with the usual blog content will be out later this month. Take care!

Book Review: "A Tangled Web" by Leslie Rule

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️(5/5 stars)

MINDBLOWN.

If you want a book that completely messes with your mind and then unravels everything into a wild but coherent explanation – this is it. Leslie Rule writes with the compassion, understanding and balance of her famous true-crime author mother, Ann Rule. This book untangles a complicated, cruel and deceptive web of one woman who took her mind games too far, murdering another woman and hurting many other people in the process. Cyber crime comes in many forms. Stalking, bullying, scams, and even organized crime groups have found a way to operate online. But Leslie Rule brings us into a world where it hits close to home – and sometimes even closer. While I had figured the suspect out fairly early on, I was not prepared for the depths of these crimes and what this woman went through to get revenge and keep her claws into the man she supposedly loved. While at times it was hard to comprehend what was going on, it gets broken down later in the book into as simple of terms as can be explained. I hope Leslie carries on writing true crime – she has her mother’s flair for it and did Ann very proud.