Robin Gilbert Luftig's Blog, page 32

Filling a Need … Finding Peace: A Story

[image error]Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) was a leader among tax collectors. He could afford great jewelry and fine clothes. His position allowed him to charge the people of Jericho more than they owed. Everyone knew he skimmed off the top. They feared this little man.

But this little man had a secret—he wanted more. He had a need. A nagging in his heart that rubies or fine spices couldn’t satisfy. When he heard that this man Jesus was coming to town, he knew he had to talk to him. See him.

Zacchaeus left his tax collecting table for the place where he thought he’d have his chance to see him.

Drat. He’d already passed. He needed to guess … which road would he take? To see Jesus he’d have to take a gamble and run ahead. Hopefully he’d guess right and get there before Jesus arrived. But where to go?

He had an idea. By the Sycamore tree. That’s where he’d wait. He’d have an opportunity to talk with him, for sure.

But when Zacchaeus got to the Sycamore tree, other people were waiting there for Jesus, too. Double drat. What could he do now? He wanted—needed—to see this Man of God for himself.

Zacchaeus looked back down the road and saw a crowd walking his way. Was Jesus surrounded by all those people? How could Zacchaeus make his way through so many people? He was so short … he’d be lost in the crowd for sure.

He looked around. There—the tree! He could climb the Sycamore tree and at least have a look at him … this man who heals. Zacchaeus wasn’t sure what he’d gain by just seeing him, but it had to be enough.

The crowd came closer and Zacchaeus could hear their voices. Begging for Jesus’ attention. All coming at him with requests. Needs. Everyone had a need.

He had a need.

Zacchaeus sighed. What’s the use? He had been fooling himself. He may be rich, but his wealth cost him more than he planned. He had treated people terribly. And now he was going to miss his chance to ask this Jesus for what he wanted most: peace. He needed peace. But it wasn’t to be.

The crowd milled then stopped under the branches of the Sycamore tree. Jesus hushed the crowd with his hands. They waited, anticipating divine wisdom from Jesus. Instead, He looked up.

“Good day, Zacchaeus.”

Zacchaeus caught his breath. “Um … good day to you, teacher.”

Jesus smiled. “Why are you in the tree?”

He felt foolish. “I wanted to see you. I’m so small.” He cleared his throat. “I really wanted to talk with you … I thought maybe you could help me. But you’re busy. Everyone wants to ask you for something.”

Jesus continued to smile as he held out his hand. “Zacchaeus. Come down. I’m coming to your house today. I’m going to stay with you. We can talk about your lack of peace then.”

Is this how it began? I put a bit of flesh to the story, but it could have happened that way.

How diligent are you chasing after Jesus? What are you willing to do to find peace?

God’s Splinters

[image error]We’ve all heard it before. “God never gives us anything we can’t handle.” [BTW, that’s totally bogus, but a topic for another email.] Or how about, “When God closes a door He opens a window.”

Sound bites that find their footing in truth, but sometimes come off a bit too churchie.

(Can I get an AMEN!)

But don’t turn your back on the gist of what’s being said. Bad things happen. Splinters.

But splinters aren’t always as they seem. Was your splinter caused through wrong choices? Can’t blame God for that. Was it a splinter due to an atrocious choice made by someone else? Maybe Free Will there … you can’t blame God for that either. So what do you do?

You learn to take ownership of your splinter.

Know—without a doubt—that you are not out of God’s reach. He still holds you in the palm of his hand. And here’s something else … there’s a reason for what happened. And the opportunity for seeking that purpose is waiting for you. An opportunity that will bring you closer to God.

You might never know why something happened until you cross over into Glory, but know …without a doubt … that it had a purpose. Don’t fight it—give into it. Dig into scripture and seek your splinter’s purpose. Like Apostle Paul’s words to Corinth, “… For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10). And check out James 1:2-4. It tells you the what and why of it all. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

So know splinters come to everyone. The true test of character—and faith—is seen in how you deal with them.

Fix Her Upper: Reclaim Your Happy Space … A Review

[image error]How did they do this?

Fix Her Upper: Reclaim Your Happy Space faces dark issues with truth … and levity. Yes, that’s right. Levity. Beth Duewel’s story of sitting in the dentist chair made me laugh out loud (yes, for sure). Because Rhonda and Beth offered this work with levity, I dropped all my barriers and was excited to let them in. I wanted to hear what they had to say.

Yet make no mistake. This isn’t just fun and games. Their anchor into Happy is their relationship with Christ. These women make Christianity look attractive. The message isn’t preachy, it’s offered with a smile and hug.

We’ve all at one time or another lost our Happy Space. This book helps us find it again … or find it anew.

It’s available at Bold Vision Books June 28th, but you can pre-order it now.

Yes, You Learned Math You’ll Never Use After High School. Here’s Why.

I follow Brandon J. Adams, and you should consider following him too. Here’s his latest post. If can find him at https://brandonjadams.com/

[image error]I see it all the time – some character on the internet asking why they were taught (fill in the blank algebra) they never used after high school instead of (fill in the blank practical math like budgeting or taxes or mortgage math).

Having served in the teaching profession, this question is really mine to answer. I now oblige.

Beyond the fact that many schools do offer alternative courses in such math (I’ve taught them)…

…or the fact that practical math is far easier for someone to self-teach, so we reserve algebra for professionals…

…or lines like “it’s about problem-solving” or “we could use more trade schools” or “because federal agencies are dictating our content #lessgovernment #murica”…

…the answer is simple.

You learned math you’ll never use after high school – because your teachers believe in you.

You’re welcome.

Contrary to popular opinion, teachers have no crystal ball revealing exactly what each student will grow up to be. We have no way of knowing a future environmental researcher or mechanical engineer from a future office receptionist or restaurant manager.

And since we don’t know, teachers labor to equip students for as many choices as possible. Perhaps for when that space exploration video smacks your eyeballs in junior year and launches your imagination into overdrive, or when you read about that ecological crisis brewing in the Solomons and suddenly feel driven to find solutions. Darned if teachers are about to bar you from those possibilities by not teaching the basics.

Students might think we should know. “Can’t you see the loser I am? Can’t you see I have no capacity for that great stuff?”

No. We don’t. That’s not our job. Teachers believe in every human that sits before them – even when they don’t believe in themselves. How can they do their jobs with any passion otherwise? We will not count you out, even when you count yourself out.

Even if you do become a stay-at-home mom, had you chosen a path of research at Cal Tech, you at least had the option. That is not a waste of your time. For you were not a waste of their time. You may not have understood the lesson then, but it gives you limitless options later.

You could say much the same of God – except he knows exactly where you’ll end up.

Perhaps you’re currently wondering, when on earth am I going to need these heartbreaking lessons I’m learning? Perhaps your current circumstances are stretching you to the breaking point, beyond what you thought you could bear. The fear and depression don’t lift. Money stays suffocatingly tight. The loneliness bears down like a fog. Month in and month out, year in and year out, no matter how many “things are about to change!” sermons you hear, nothing ever does.

Know that it is not in vain. Nothing on God’s blackboard smartboard is ever wasted. 

Imagine being admitted to a NASA engineering internship only to find out you haven’t the slightest math skills. It’s the stuff of nightmares.

God is averting you from that fate. He loves you fiercely and is arranging the strength and knowledge, professionally taught, that you will need for your destiny. When it arrives, you will be ready.

Want to see Brandon’s post?  Check out https://brandonjadams.com/2019/06/13/math-after-high-school/

Learning to Bloom Again is Finally Here!

[image error]Finally! Learning to Bloom Again: Walking through Forgiveness After Divorce is available. Not only is it available, but for May 8th, it’s free.

Check it out, and see there are promises waiting for you.

Let me know what you think. I’d be tickled pink if you’d write a short review.

Never Lose Hope

[image error]If you’ve never heard Dr. Rick Rigsby, take a moment and listen to what he has to say. Goalcast’s recording of a speech he gave at the school where his father, a third-grade dropout, and worked as a cook …and it went viral.

His lesson is simple, yet powerful. Don’t let your circumstances define you. Don’t let labels that others put on you say who you are. If you fall down, take a moment, but get back up! What’s the problem with trying again? Keep learning. Keep loving. Keep moving forward.

I understand his philosophy. My own father dropped out of high school, yet I that he was one of the wisest men I ever knew.

Don’t want to track him down on Youtube? I’ve saved you a few steps.

 

Learning to Bloom Again: A Preview

Sometimes books need updating. That’s how it was for From Pain to Peace: The Journey of Forgiveness After Divorce. I pulled it off the shelf, added a new title, cover (Thanks, Amber Weigand-Buckley) and punched up the information. 
I’ll soon introduce Learning to Bloom Again; walking through forgiveness after divorce to y’all. A bit more tweaking, but it will be available in paperback and ebook format.
Here’s your first peek:

[image error]

After writing From Pain to Peace in 2008, I thought I had all the tools needed to heal after divorce. I realized women who sought God’s direction and had learned from past mistakes—their own as well as those made by others—maintained healthy lives after divorce. Many caught the vision and experienced true healing.

Yet, there are still people hurting.

There’s no denying it: pain surrounds divorce. Life lessons remain. Marriages still end. But I stress throughout this book… relationships never end—they only change. Whether the person moves away, remarries, or even dies, though changed, the relationship remains. I learned early: “Do your best to get along with your soon-to-be ex-husband. As long as you breathe, he will always be in your life. One way or another.”

The word divorce has many definitions. In today’s society, it suggests being so upset with a spouse you no longer want them to be part of your life. However, the Greek term for divorce, Aphiemi [pronounced af-EE-ay-mee], means “to forgive” or “go and leave something behind.”

To forgive?

How ironic, the word we use today that conjures up negative feelings in most people was meant to leave a positive impression? That I divorce you can truly mean I forgive you? Anyone who has been affected by the heartbreak of divorce knows it is anything but positive. Forgiveness is often the last thing that comes to mind.

Why Are Post-Divorce Relationships So Important?

Learning how to deal with divorce is a very real issue. In the first edition of From Pain to Peace, I sited The National Center for Health Statistics (2000) report, “The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within five years is twenty percent. After ten years, the probability of a first marriage ending is thirty-three percent.” Find any marriage blogs today, and you might be encouraged to read divorce rates have declined by eight percent. If you look deeper, however, those statistics don’t take in consideration that many millennials just tend to live together and not marry. (But living together unmarried is a topic for another author … another book.)

The Barna Group, which provides information and analysis regarding cultural trends and the Christian church, noted in December 2000, “Born again adults are more likely to experience a divorce than are non-born again adults (27% vs. 24%).”  It only makes sense, then, with a divorce rate this high, we need to prepare ourselves to know how to live life after divorce. God has a plan for us, too. Unfortunately, churches offer little instruction. They are getting better with opening their doors to hurting, broken families, but society today would benefit from more empathy—less judgment and condemnation.

According to a 2008 study from the Barna Group, among those who have said wedding vows, many have already been divorced at least once. Many millennials, because of coming from one-parent homes, choose not to marry. Yet those who do and succumb to divorce still feel the full sting of rejection and failure. Bottom line … most congregations have hurting people carrying real, raw emotional baggage.

How would Jesus help? What would He do?

The Bible tells us once we accept Christ’s grace for our lives and accept Him into our hearts, we no longer have the luxury to hold onto anger—even the anger that can grow from a divorce. Jesus says in Matthew 6, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” We must offer forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a tough pill to swallow when you’re in the middle of the process. There are still the, But what about—conversations. You’re dealing with real pain.

Don’t fret. You can do this.

First, figure out what forgiveness is. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines “forgive” as “to give up resentment of or claim to requital for.” In “Forgiveness is Not an Option,” Kristine Steakley’s shares how she struggled with understanding forgiveness.

“As I lay there talking to God, I realized my problem was more in understanding forgiveness than in granting it. I imagined forgiveness as the absence of pain and the restoration of trust. I pictured myself running into my former sweetheart. I pictured myself talking to him and smiling and feeling no sadness or apprehension. In short, I thought forgiveness meant going back to the way I was before the hurt had occurred.”

If it is your goal to move beyond the pain of divorce, you can heal and establish a new healthy relationship.

Learning to Bloom Again came from a labor of love—and loathing. I weathered the storm of unforgiveness and struggled through the process of learning how to forgive. I have been divorced three times. The first time I married as a teen to try to fix my life and to fill holes in my heart with a healing relationship I wasn’t prepared to build. This marriage only lasted a few months. It was a mistake from the beginning.

The second divorce came after I married for all the wrong reasons. I thought this man would be a wonderful provider and take care of me—a disastrous foundational reason for a marriage. He, too, was a good man. But this relationship ended in divorce as well.

The third divorce came after I married a man because I was lonely. As you can guess, another tragedy. After the third divorce, I realized I was the common denominator in all my failed marriages. From that realization, I spent years trying to understand why I felt the need to seek value from marriage. Through God’s love, patience, and mercy, He offered me the type of love I needed—a focused relationship with Him before any other.

As flowers push through the spring’s snow to find the sun’s warmth, I, too, reached for sunlight. With this new awareness—along with God’s faithfulness—I set out to find answers for my actions. Through years of prayer and self-examination, I realized I was co-dependent. Only when I addressed my illness did I understand how I had created the mess around me. Along with understanding my actions, I also came to a place of forgiveness—first to myself and then of others.

Learning to Bloom Again reflects my discoveries along the journey. This book is meant to enlighten and inspire. I’ve collected scriptures on relationships. Included are stories—both good and bad—from Christians who are divorced. You’ll see how just as they couldn’t make the marriage work by themselves, they couldn’t make a divorce heathy on their own. It took teamwork … even when the team was broken.

Paul wrote in Romans: “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” We can only control our own actions—no one else’s. Do what you can but learn to accept that others are responsible as well.

I pray Learning to Bloom Again helps you find the answers you’re seeking. They may be here, ready to offer you a new contentment. I hope you, too, find the peace that surpasses all understanding. That kind of peace only comes from a relationship with Christ. May this book help you reach into the dark corners of your heart. Not just to treat the symptoms of anger, resentment, and unforgiveness, but to allow Christ to heal your soul.

I spent the early years of my adult life trying to control and looking for quick answers. But there were no shortcuts, no quick fixes. Healing forgiveness cannot be accomplished on your own; it’s only found in God’s mercy and grace.

Discouraged? Don’t be. As with anything with value, time needs to be invested. This book offers suggestions to prosper healing. You will learn:

How to accept your pain
How to see the necessity of forgiveness
How to find a start for forgiveness
How to apply Scripture to your process

I challenge you to open your mind as well as your heart when reading Learning to Bloom Again. If you find healing, know God gets all the glory for it. He helped me find my way through a dark journey of healing after divorce. He can help you, too.

May God bless you and the time you are investing in searching for assistance in your own healing.

 

Blessed with More Life

Happy Anniversary to me!

It was eight years ago today—April 11, 2011—when my life’s journey took a turn. This was the day when I had brain surgery to remove a ginormous tumor from the front-top quadrant of my brain.

That’s when God blessed me with more life.

[image error]Everything changed after that surgery. Days of running up and down steps with ease were gone forever. Forgetting how to say words became commonplace. Putting together jigsaw puzzles with my husband—now a thing of the past. A faint weakness on my right side still remains … reminding me … the outcome could have been different.

Because of that surgery, I know … without a doubt … each moment is a gift.

[image error]The doctors made it clear—they could not give me any guarantees that I’d survive the delicate and lengthy operation. They needed to cut my skull open and remove the tumor, then figure out if they could put me back together again.

Then there was the therapy: physical, occupational, and speech. I worked diligently for months trying to relearn the simplest of tasks: walking without assistance, standing and not losing my balance, learning to pick up coins one at a time, and repeating words and phrases after they were said to me.

But I celebrated because God was with me every step of the way.

And I’ve tried to never take life for granted again.

“ …‘you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:13-14 NIV

[image error]Thump-thump.

Feel that? It’s your heart beating. It could stop at any time, but instead, it keeps on going. Not because of anything you’re doing, but because it’s God’s gift to you. With each beat, you’re blessed with more life.

Come, celebrate with me. I’ve had eight years of appreciating and trusting God’s gift of a day—one at a time.

How can we celebrate your blessings?.

Robin speaks to women’s groups on trusting God through adversity. As a writer, she’s a finalist for the 2019 Selah Writing Award. Soon she’s releasing the third edition of , “Learning to Bloom Again: walking through forgiveness after divorce” and is looking for a publisher for, “God’s Best During Your Worst,” a manual on how to deal with life’s darkness and yet see God’s loving and guiding hand. Watch for it!

Gearing Up to Write

[image error]I recently spent the weekend with friends who picked my brain about writing. How did you start? Where did you learn to write? Why do you say it the way you do? I smiled when I pulled up Cindy Ervin Huff’s latest blog, Twelve Fave Writing Craft Books from My Bookshelves.

She’s listed several of my favorites as well. If she’d ask, I’d also add Eva Marie Everson’s Common Mistakes Writers Make and  Stephen King’s On Writing. My copies are highlighted, coffee-stained, and much loved.

Thanks, Cindy, for the great list.

What are some of your favorite writing books?

A Writer in the Rough

[image error] I used to be bored with books and was a terrible reader. But then I experienced a well-written story, and it changed my world.


 


I fought the internal nudge for years to take a swing at writing. Who was I to strike out to be … an author? Nonsense!


 


But the nudge persisted.


 


After years of trying, failing–and failing miserably–I continued on. And I’m ever so thankful that I did.


 


Look at me … a Selah finalist. Selah’s a nationally recognized award offered to books and articles within Christian publishing that are considered excellent within their genre.


 


Oh friend, don’t ignore that nudge you’re getting. It may take time, but it will pay off.