Ellyn Oaksmith's Blog - Posts Tagged "relationships"

Sometimes, with the best of intentions, writers make a nifty outline, flesh out some funny, moving characters, comes up with some hairpin plot turns and bam, we're off to the races. And then, as mentioned in an earlier blog, you a hit a wall. The wall is known as writer's block. Is it depression, seasonal affect disorder or are you just writing a very ordinary story that's been told a million times? In other words, your plot sucks.

If it's the latter, then let your brain wander. Go running. Lie on the bed and remember that your mother was right: you should have gotten your teaching degree. Avoid cleaning the house. Have long, soulful discussions with your dog. Wander through the cupboards for fun things to eat. Call your long-suffering sister who is sick of talking about your next hairstyle and doesn't mind you talking, as writers are wont to do, about your latest obsession: why your book isn't working.

Then realize that you can't stuff a living, breathing character into a plot that you think is morally correct because sometimes, that flawed character has her own mind. And she's going to think differently that you do. And she's got her own life to live, regardless of what you, the author, would do in your marriage, your life.

So here's to flawed characters, living and real, trying to do their best in a messy world, real or fictional. Sometimes happy endings are about compromise.

Have a great day and if you haven't reviewed Knockers on Amazon and have a moment, please do. I'm trying to reach a 100 reviews and only have 19.

Happy Friday!

The inciting incident (screenplay talk) that kicks off the action in my new book $38,000, is infidelity. When I tell people this they never, of course, jump in with stories about how they have been the victim or perpetrator of infidelity. But they will tell me about their friends and neighbors. One lady told me about a next door neighbor whose wife went on vacation with the children. The husband managed his own little "Stay-cation," complete with his girlfriend from work.

In order to keep things on the lowdown, the husband would go out to her car, parked in the street, with his own gym bag and tuck her little pink overnight bag inside, carrying it inside. Things came to an awkward head when the cheating husband's little dog got out of the yard one morning and made a dash for the neighbor's house, where his little dog buddies live. The neighbor tucked the dog under her arm, wanting to simply sneak the dog back into the yard and avoid anyone, male or female sneaking out of the house on their way to work. Of course the girlfriend was at the back door, half-dressed, looking for the dog. She dashed back in the door and the husband came out. The dog rescuing lady looked at the man knowing that she should have kept her mouth shut. She didn't say much, just a comment about his lovely family. He responded by telling her that he was just taking a little vacation, like his wife. No harm, no foul.

I couldn't have written a better scene. It was both funny and sad and left me wondering what happened later. Yes, I have a lot more stories that people have shared but I'm off to work on my own book.

Happy Election Day!

Women balance many roles. I know men do this as well, this isn't a slam against men, but hey, I'm a woman. I try to write about what I know. In addition to trying to figure out how much to let the house go to hell in pursuit of grabbing this moment while my first book comes out, I also have to balance how much to work on my new book.

Writing a new book is like dating a new guy. It's fresh, new and easy. No one has read it (although a couple people have read the first draft) and it's simple to fall into the warm embrace of the book that is better -- because it's not out there in the world being knocked around.

Adventures with Max and Louise is out surfing on the wild waves of readers' imaginations, thoughts and caprices. Do I run around trying to help people understand that Adventures is a comedy but it has serious undertones? That's it's a romance but it's not one of the hot sexy stranger type; more on the ridiculous, fumbling scale of sex scenes with some tender moments thrown in throughout?

As usual, the answer is one that my youngest daughter accuses me of using anytime I'm interviewed. The old "Yes and no."

Any working mother, or stay at home mom or daughter/wife/grandmother with more than one thing going on her life knows that life is about finding that tricky balance that enables you to make everyone feel that you are paying attention. But your first obligation is to yourself. Which is what Adventures with Max and Louise is about: taking care of yourself first.

It's not easy. It requires constant self monitoring and many, many deep breaths. And we can all do it. Sometimes.

Writing gives back to me more than I put in. So I'm off to work on my new book.

Happy Reading!