Lela Davidson's Blog, page 8

Schools Back In: Some Things Good and Somethin’ Bad

School has started! At least, it has here in the South, and for that we can all toss a handful of glittery confetti into the air in celebration of days more ordered and children more occupied. (Those are my big babies in the image above, modeling for Country Outfitter.)

Yes, cheers to all us newly free parents! Except that I’m less gleeful than I should be. I’ve started to turn to the dark side, the sappy side. Time is starting to betray me, specifically, the time I’ve been allotted with my ch...

Things I Don’t Do #83: Bikini Wax

I havebeen married for nearly twenty years. We’ve made it work for hundreds of reasons, not the least of which are today’s unreasonably high bikini area standards. In a marriage you set certain expectations early on and when I got married a Brazilian was a person from South America. I have certain non-negotiables: Watering plants, taking cruises, and waxing my “bikini”. No level of vaginal beauty is worth that kind of pain.

I mean, seriously, who does this?

Thanks to Jessica Bern at Two Funny B...

You Have Boyfriend? Nail Salon Humor

My favorite stand up ever. Ever. All about the nails. Why does Anjelah Johnson not have her own show?

Whatever you like we do for you?

Botox is a Business Asset

Botox is weird, right? We can all agree that the idea of voluntarily shooting poison into your face, effectively disabling certain muscle groups that one would assume are there for a reason, because it theoretically makes you look younger, must be based on some pretty messed up thought processes. And yet, here we are. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons 2012 statistical analysis of American vanity (or something like that), more than six million Botox procedures were performe...

Four Spring Fashion Trends to Skip if You Are Over 40

There are certain fashion trends that women of a certain age should not adopt, no matter how hard you think your abs are or how young at heart you feel. I wrote about the temptations of shopping at the same stores as my daughter in Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? andrecently spoke about the dangers of the mall at a sorority’s Mother Daughter luncheon.We may want to be one of the cool kids, but our time has passed, I promise you. Some of the best fashion advice I’ve ever received:

If you wore it the f...

Free Range Kids: Kindergarten Edition

There is a lot ofparentingvariation between letting kids run wild and hovering over them in a constant sate of anxiety. Outspoken opponent of overprotective parenting and author of the book and blogFree Range Kids,Lenore Skenazy, was publicly shamed for letting her seven-year-old ride the subway alone. We’re not all ready to put our kids on a subway, but we can let go of the little things with lower stakes. Since my children were very young I have tried to give them as much responsibility and...

Smudging: Not Just Anyone Can Pull Off This Ancient Ritual

Smudging: Should you really try this at home?

The word “release” in the headline should have tipped me off. As in 13 Ways to Release 2013. But how could the article, written by a perky blonde life coach, be anything but deeply enlightening? Release 2013. Let it go, mindfully, intentionally, with gratitude. And if all that doesn’t work, special pricing for one-on-one coaching.

I couldn’t help but click. As one does during the first week of January, I had been eating right, replacing evil incande...

Pitbull's Timber Lyrics, As Heard By the Mother of a Teenage Girl

I like Pitbull, I do. For better and worse. I like him in spite of his skeez factor, and sometimes because of it. Pitbull might not be a great musician. I don’t care. He might not be a wonderful human. Not my problem. I like to sing along, and when nobody’s watching, move my hips the way I used to do in public, the way mothers of teenagers should never ever do in front of their children. Or maybe anyone.

Speaking of my teenagers, I spent the weekend painting the bedroom of the Girl. We weren’t...

Pitbull’s Timber Lyrics, As Heard By the Mother of a Teenage Girl

I like Pitbull, I do. For better and worse. I like him in spite of his skeez factor, and sometimes because of it. Pitbull might not a great musician. I don’t care. He might not be a wonderful human. Not my problem. I like to sing along, and when nobody’s watching, move my hips the way I used to do in public, the way mothers of teenagers should never ever do in front of their children. Or maybe anyone.

Speaking of my teenagers, I spent the weekend painting the bedroom of the Girl. We weren’t su...

Welcome to My Midlife Birthday Breakdown

I always thought I’d go to law school or get my MBA. At one point I seriously considered getting my PhD in Accounting. I still kind of want to get an MFA, but all that will have to wait, maybe forever. It’s my kids’ turn to get their degrees. Besides, I need to focus all my academic faculties on the critical issues at hand, such as the subtle differences between the shades of Nomadic Dessert and Kilim Beige on my office walls.

If you read Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? you may remember I get a littl...