Shelby Cross's Blog, page 14
October 3, 2013
Conversations With the Body Parts
Mind: Get dressed get dressed get dressed get dressed
Cunt: No. Play with me.
Mind: I can't, it's time to get dressed and get ready to go
Cunt: How much time is there left?
Mind: Half an hour, tops.
Cunt. Plenty of time. Play with me.
Mind: Later, okay? I promise. LATER.
Cunt: No. Now. I'm needy.
Mind: Of course you're needy, you're always needy, shut up!
Cunt: Play with me, plaayyyy
Mind: Shut up, I'm serious
Cunt: I won't shut up, I don't ever shut up. Whatcha gonna do about it, hmmm?
Mind: You just watch.
(Puts in a call to Husband.)
Husband: I'm busy. What do you want?
Me: Can I have permission to come?
Husband: No. Wait until I get home. I have plans for you tonight: I'm gonna try that new toy out on your ass. It's bigger than what you're used to, but I think you can handle it.
Me: ...What?
Husband: I'm getting back to work now. Bye.
(Hangs up)
Cunt: Fine. You win. I'll leave you alone.
Ass: Did someone mention my name?
Cunt: No. Play with me.
Mind: I can't, it's time to get dressed and get ready to go
Cunt: How much time is there left?
Mind: Half an hour, tops.
Cunt. Plenty of time. Play with me.
Mind: Later, okay? I promise. LATER.
Cunt: No. Now. I'm needy.
Mind: Of course you're needy, you're always needy, shut up!
Cunt: Play with me, plaayyyy
Mind: Shut up, I'm serious
Cunt: I won't shut up, I don't ever shut up. Whatcha gonna do about it, hmmm?
Mind: You just watch.
(Puts in a call to Husband.)
Husband: I'm busy. What do you want?
Me: Can I have permission to come?
Husband: No. Wait until I get home. I have plans for you tonight: I'm gonna try that new toy out on your ass. It's bigger than what you're used to, but I think you can handle it.
Me: ...What?
Husband: I'm getting back to work now. Bye.
(Hangs up)
Cunt: Fine. You win. I'll leave you alone.
Ass: Did someone mention my name?
October 1, 2013
Folsom Fringe
So as I mentioned in my last post, this weekend I tried something new. Actually, a few things new. I
1. Attending my first kinky conference
2. Gave my self-publishing class to a room full of people
2. Vended my books
Number one rule about trying something new: it's all about the experience. I went into the weekend with a clear head and a list of hopes, but zero expectations.
IT WAS AWESOME.
Seriously, if you can attend Folsom Fringe next year, DOOOO EEET. It is an easy way to meet kinky people, take a ton of classes, learn a whole lot about things you never even knew existed, and PLAY.
Oh my god, people, the PLAY.
I had friends there who basically only left their hotel rooms to eat and meet up with new potential play partners. Once negotiations (and meals) were done, they were back in their rooms, having more fun.
The saturday night party was a huge ballroom of ongoing D/s, S/m, and kink. I got spanked, caned, punched (a first for me), wrestled to the ground, hogtied, and pussy chained. I got to scream, cry, struggle, flail, bite, kick, and punch back.
And the whole time, all around me, there were other scenes going on, with people laughing, crying, and coming. Countless play stations, chairs set up all around for those who wanted to watch, cleaning supplies, safety supplies....
All the while, around the corner in the social area, people sat in their dressed-up best, eating delicacies and socializing in hushed tones at intimate cafe tables.
It was lovely. Hedonism at its best.
I signed a lot of books. Sold out, in fact. Of course, I had to do a lot of begging to sell those books. The other vendors found me quite entertaining. But then, begging comes natural to me, so what can I say?
I was told my class was good. If you want to see much of what I taught, you can take a look at the menu bar on the blog and click on "how to self publish."
Of course, one of the biggest draws of Folsom Fringe is the ride to and from Folsom Street Fair. But the thing is, since you've been partying and playing the whole weekend already, Folsom Fair becomes one aspect of the weekend, not the whole thing. For many, it's not even the grand finale. I know for me, the saturday night party was the highlight of the conference, and the weekend.
I came home with bruises on my shoulders, back, and breasts, rug burn on my knees and ass, a hoarse throat, and a sense of incredible accomplishment.
That last one? That was the best souvenir of all.
1. Attending my first kinky conference
2. Gave my self-publishing class to a room full of people
2. Vended my books
Number one rule about trying something new: it's all about the experience. I went into the weekend with a clear head and a list of hopes, but zero expectations.
IT WAS AWESOME.
Seriously, if you can attend Folsom Fringe next year, DOOOO EEET. It is an easy way to meet kinky people, take a ton of classes, learn a whole lot about things you never even knew existed, and PLAY.
Oh my god, people, the PLAY.
I had friends there who basically only left their hotel rooms to eat and meet up with new potential play partners. Once negotiations (and meals) were done, they were back in their rooms, having more fun.
The saturday night party was a huge ballroom of ongoing D/s, S/m, and kink. I got spanked, caned, punched (a first for me), wrestled to the ground, hogtied, and pussy chained. I got to scream, cry, struggle, flail, bite, kick, and punch back.
And the whole time, all around me, there were other scenes going on, with people laughing, crying, and coming. Countless play stations, chairs set up all around for those who wanted to watch, cleaning supplies, safety supplies....
All the while, around the corner in the social area, people sat in their dressed-up best, eating delicacies and socializing in hushed tones at intimate cafe tables.
It was lovely. Hedonism at its best.
I signed a lot of books. Sold out, in fact. Of course, I had to do a lot of begging to sell those books. The other vendors found me quite entertaining. But then, begging comes natural to me, so what can I say?
I was told my class was good. If you want to see much of what I taught, you can take a look at the menu bar on the blog and click on "how to self publish."
Of course, one of the biggest draws of Folsom Fringe is the ride to and from Folsom Street Fair. But the thing is, since you've been partying and playing the whole weekend already, Folsom Fair becomes one aspect of the weekend, not the whole thing. For many, it's not even the grand finale. I know for me, the saturday night party was the highlight of the conference, and the weekend.
I came home with bruises on my shoulders, back, and breasts, rug burn on my knees and ass, a hoarse throat, and a sense of incredible accomplishment.
That last one? That was the best souvenir of all.
September 30, 2013
Folsom Street Fair 2013
Folsom Street Fair is one of these weird events where you look forward to it for months, count down the weeks as it gets closer, get your outfit ready, get your shopping list ready, make your plans to see your friends (and maybe get some play on), work out all the logistics, get more and more excited as it looms nearer, talk about it with all your friends
OH EM GEE ITS ALMOST FOLSOM TIME YAY YAY YAY
And then the day comes, you get there, it's just as awesome as you knew it would be, your outfit looks great, your shopping goes great, you see all your friends (and get some play on)...
And then a few hours go by and you're like
GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
Seriously, the one big fat piece of advice I can give to newbies on their first trip to Folsom is get there early. The fair opens officially at 11:00 (I think), but you want to get there at 10:30 by the latest, 10:00 if you can manage it. By 1:00, the place is packed like a six-foot sleeping bag in a nylon tote. You can't walk two fucking steps without having to turn sideways and smacking into some naked guy's willie.
But it is wild, and crazy, and one of those things that should definitely be on everyone's bucket list. San Francisco is a pretty hedonistic and kinky city by nature, but during Folsom, the kink is ON, and so is the exhibitionism.
This year I went with a gang from Folsom Fringe, a conference I attended during the two days leading up to the fair. I'll talk about the conference more in my next post, but one of the great things about Folsom Fringe is that it offers bus service to (and from) Folsom Fair. No Caltrain for me this time! I got to ride with fellow kinksters all the way! Girls were getting spanked, guys were taking off their clothes, and a babygirl sitting across the aisle from me gave a Daddy a blowjob during the ride. It was awesome.
I took the first bus to the fair, so when I got there, the place was still pretty empty.
See how much room there is on the street, how easy it is to walk? Ah, nice. But I still had not come early enough to catch the pony parade, which pissed me off no end, because my Lady Vicki was in the pony parade, and I missed seeing her.
Over on 8th street, I ran into a camera crew filming. At first, I thought they were filming a specific booth, maybe for a commercial or interview; then I realized they were taping scenes. I asked one of the crew, and he told me the whole booth was a fake, and they were there filming scenes for a new HBO show called "Looking."
So here's the thing: I didn't know one of the actors I was seeing was Jonathan Groff, who apparently is a major name among Glee fans. If I had known, I would have focused in on him, and taken more pictures. To all the Jonathan Groff fans out there, I AM SORRY. Believe me, I understand what it would be like if I found out someone was standing right next to, say, David Tennant, didn't know who he was, and didn't take pictures. In my defense, it was a madhouse, and security was tight. They were not letting anybody (except the extras) get any closer than I was standing to take these pictures.
My favorite part of the whole thing was when one of the camera gals looked around with this wide-eyed look and murmured, "these people are real."
Yes. Yes, we are real. Tee hee.
After that, it was time to move on.
I found the religious booth and said hi.
Most of the booths were already set up, but Kink.com doesn't have a booth, they have a stage. Their stage was still empty. They don't start hoppin' until later.
There were already demos going on at other parts, though. This group, SoCal Shibari, is amazing.
The great thing about Folsom is that you see all kinds: Masters and slaves, Owners and pets, Sadists and their human toys, and those who just come out to dress up and play. This guy came with his three babygirls.
And this guy came out with his baby boy.
Someone brought this cute puppy to the fair, and left her in the kennel. Yes, there really is a human kennel set up at the fair. (Two, I believe.)
I had some shopping to do, so I started hitting the toy booths.
This was the same booth I admired last year, that I had planned on going back to for some more shopping, only I never got the chance. I didn't make the same mistake twice. This year, I got my stuff.
Then I felt like I could just walk around, enjoy the fair, and meet up with friends. Some of the outfits were incredible.
Some of the booths were selling stuff I was not in the market for, but still looked beautiful. These guys make chain mail, and it was really fascinating (and well made).
These guys were selling "make your own flogger." I wondered why no one had thought up the idea before.
Of course, there's a lot of play going on around you. Some of the booths offered spankings for free.
Some of the play going on was to showcase the equipment.
And some of it was for fundraising.
By then, the streets were getting crammed, and it was getting harder to walk.
So I decided to take a looksie around Mr. S Leather—a really great leather and kink store—say hi to some friends, and call it a day.
A lot of the people who were on the bus going back with me were the same people who had been on the bus getting there. They were wiped out, too.
So what did I buy? Take a look:
A new pair of cuffs, a new gag, and a new sex toy.
I needed a new gag cause I keep chewing through them. I hope this one lasts a bit longer.
I got the cuffs, cause, well, you need a variety of cuffs, don't you?
And the toy...when I saw the toy, I thought it was supposed to be an anal plug. I asked the woman if she had one with a smaller head. She said no, but told me it's not supposed to be a butt plug, it's designed to be a dildo. They call it "The Juicer," because it makes women squirt.
How could I not buy it, after hearing that?
I plan on trying it out as an anal plug, and a dildo. I will keep you guys informed about my results.
So that was my Sunday.
How was yours?
OH EM GEE ITS ALMOST FOLSOM TIME YAY YAY YAY
And then the day comes, you get there, it's just as awesome as you knew it would be, your outfit looks great, your shopping goes great, you see all your friends (and get some play on)...
And then a few hours go by and you're like
GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
Seriously, the one big fat piece of advice I can give to newbies on their first trip to Folsom is get there early. The fair opens officially at 11:00 (I think), but you want to get there at 10:30 by the latest, 10:00 if you can manage it. By 1:00, the place is packed like a six-foot sleeping bag in a nylon tote. You can't walk two fucking steps without having to turn sideways and smacking into some naked guy's willie.
But it is wild, and crazy, and one of those things that should definitely be on everyone's bucket list. San Francisco is a pretty hedonistic and kinky city by nature, but during Folsom, the kink is ON, and so is the exhibitionism.
This year I went with a gang from Folsom Fringe, a conference I attended during the two days leading up to the fair. I'll talk about the conference more in my next post, but one of the great things about Folsom Fringe is that it offers bus service to (and from) Folsom Fair. No Caltrain for me this time! I got to ride with fellow kinksters all the way! Girls were getting spanked, guys were taking off their clothes, and a babygirl sitting across the aisle from me gave a Daddy a blowjob during the ride. It was awesome.
I took the first bus to the fair, so when I got there, the place was still pretty empty.
See how much room there is on the street, how easy it is to walk? Ah, nice. But I still had not come early enough to catch the pony parade, which pissed me off no end, because my Lady Vicki was in the pony parade, and I missed seeing her.Over on 8th street, I ran into a camera crew filming. At first, I thought they were filming a specific booth, maybe for a commercial or interview; then I realized they were taping scenes. I asked one of the crew, and he told me the whole booth was a fake, and they were there filming scenes for a new HBO show called "Looking."
So here's the thing: I didn't know one of the actors I was seeing was Jonathan Groff, who apparently is a major name among Glee fans. If I had known, I would have focused in on him, and taken more pictures. To all the Jonathan Groff fans out there, I AM SORRY. Believe me, I understand what it would be like if I found out someone was standing right next to, say, David Tennant, didn't know who he was, and didn't take pictures. In my defense, it was a madhouse, and security was tight. They were not letting anybody (except the extras) get any closer than I was standing to take these pictures.My favorite part of the whole thing was when one of the camera gals looked around with this wide-eyed look and murmured, "these people are real."
Yes. Yes, we are real. Tee hee.
After that, it was time to move on.
I found the religious booth and said hi.
Most of the booths were already set up, but Kink.com doesn't have a booth, they have a stage. Their stage was still empty. They don't start hoppin' until later.
There were already demos going on at other parts, though. This group, SoCal Shibari, is amazing.
The great thing about Folsom is that you see all kinds: Masters and slaves, Owners and pets, Sadists and their human toys, and those who just come out to dress up and play. This guy came with his three babygirls.
And this guy came out with his baby boy.
Someone brought this cute puppy to the fair, and left her in the kennel. Yes, there really is a human kennel set up at the fair. (Two, I believe.)
I had some shopping to do, so I started hitting the toy booths.
This was the same booth I admired last year, that I had planned on going back to for some more shopping, only I never got the chance. I didn't make the same mistake twice. This year, I got my stuff.
Then I felt like I could just walk around, enjoy the fair, and meet up with friends. Some of the outfits were incredible.
Some of the booths were selling stuff I was not in the market for, but still looked beautiful. These guys make chain mail, and it was really fascinating (and well made).
These guys were selling "make your own flogger." I wondered why no one had thought up the idea before.
Of course, there's a lot of play going on around you. Some of the booths offered spankings for free.
Some of the play going on was to showcase the equipment.
And some of it was for fundraising.
By then, the streets were getting crammed, and it was getting harder to walk.
So I decided to take a looksie around Mr. S Leather—a really great leather and kink store—say hi to some friends, and call it a day.
A lot of the people who were on the bus going back with me were the same people who had been on the bus getting there. They were wiped out, too.So what did I buy? Take a look:
A new pair of cuffs, a new gag, and a new sex toy.I needed a new gag cause I keep chewing through them. I hope this one lasts a bit longer.
I got the cuffs, cause, well, you need a variety of cuffs, don't you?
And the toy...when I saw the toy, I thought it was supposed to be an anal plug. I asked the woman if she had one with a smaller head. She said no, but told me it's not supposed to be a butt plug, it's designed to be a dildo. They call it "The Juicer," because it makes women squirt.
How could I not buy it, after hearing that?
I plan on trying it out as an anal plug, and a dildo. I will keep you guys informed about my results.
So that was my Sunday.
How was yours?
September 24, 2013
Your Turn to Teach Me Something
This is not a statement, and this is not a rant. This is an honest-to-God question. I'm hoping to start some discussion here, or at least, having some people enlighten me. Really, I'm trying to understand.
Some backdrop: I was having a discussion with some local veteran community members the other day. One of them, a Dom and Sadist, happened to make a comment about the "kinds" of subs he likes to Top. I'm paraphrasing here, but basically the conversation went something like this:
Him: I would never play with a sub who tells me she has no limits.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because every sub has limits. If she doesn't know what hers are yet, that's fine, but I don't want to find out the hard way. If she's so new she can't even give me one limit, then I step back and say 'sweetie, come back to me when you discover a limit or two, and then we'll play.'
Me: But what if she really has no limit? What if she'd let you do anything you want?
Him: Then she's mentally unstable, and I don't want to play with her anyway. I don't play with crazy.
At this point, a lot (I won't say everyone, but a lot) of the people in the room started nodding their heads, like, yes, he's right, a sub with no limits is crazy.
So there seems to be this prevalent notion that subs, if they have any self-respect at all, if they're mentally sane, have to have some limits. Because not everything should go; a Top should not be allowed to do whatever he wants. That's foolish and dangerous. That could lead to disaster.
So here's my question: How come this rule doesn't apply to the kink community as a whole?
We're fed this belief that in our community of Sadists and masochists, debauchers and hedonists, everything goes. We repeat the mantra 'your kink is not my kink, and that is okay.' We're expected to erase judgement from our minds, treat it like a dirty little crime, never talk about it except with an air of disgust, a tone of contempt.
(As if we all could erase it from our minds. People judge other people. That's what we do. We can try to curb it, keep it down to a minimum, but we can never "evolve" ourselves past it.)
But if we have a community that accepts everything, and deplores nothing, refuses to entertain the idea that some things should just not be abided...
Don't we end up with a community full of crazies?
I really want to know why people seem to have this belief "a community without limits is a good kinky community." How is it good? How does it help the strength and growth of the community? I understand you want to protect it from the kind of discrimination and prejudice you find in the vanilla world. But surely, going to the opposite extreme of Anything Goes can't be healthy, either.
Can it?
Some backdrop: I was having a discussion with some local veteran community members the other day. One of them, a Dom and Sadist, happened to make a comment about the "kinds" of subs he likes to Top. I'm paraphrasing here, but basically the conversation went something like this:
Him: I would never play with a sub who tells me she has no limits.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because every sub has limits. If she doesn't know what hers are yet, that's fine, but I don't want to find out the hard way. If she's so new she can't even give me one limit, then I step back and say 'sweetie, come back to me when you discover a limit or two, and then we'll play.'
Me: But what if she really has no limit? What if she'd let you do anything you want?
Him: Then she's mentally unstable, and I don't want to play with her anyway. I don't play with crazy.
At this point, a lot (I won't say everyone, but a lot) of the people in the room started nodding their heads, like, yes, he's right, a sub with no limits is crazy.
So there seems to be this prevalent notion that subs, if they have any self-respect at all, if they're mentally sane, have to have some limits. Because not everything should go; a Top should not be allowed to do whatever he wants. That's foolish and dangerous. That could lead to disaster.
So here's my question: How come this rule doesn't apply to the kink community as a whole?
We're fed this belief that in our community of Sadists and masochists, debauchers and hedonists, everything goes. We repeat the mantra 'your kink is not my kink, and that is okay.' We're expected to erase judgement from our minds, treat it like a dirty little crime, never talk about it except with an air of disgust, a tone of contempt.
(As if we all could erase it from our minds. People judge other people. That's what we do. We can try to curb it, keep it down to a minimum, but we can never "evolve" ourselves past it.)
But if we have a community that accepts everything, and deplores nothing, refuses to entertain the idea that some things should just not be abided...
Don't we end up with a community full of crazies?
I really want to know why people seem to have this belief "a community without limits is a good kinky community." How is it good? How does it help the strength and growth of the community? I understand you want to protect it from the kind of discrimination and prejudice you find in the vanilla world. But surely, going to the opposite extreme of Anything Goes can't be healthy, either.
Can it?
September 20, 2013
Sometimes I'm Sick In the Not-So-Kinky Way
So I've been dealing with a cold for the week. And I don't know about you, but I consider having a cold for a whole week a Long Fucking Time. That rule about guests staying for three days? It should apply to colds too, you guys.
Unfortunately, like extended family, colds seem to put their fingers in their ears and do the la la la, I can't hear you song when you insinuate it is time for them to move on.
This morning I was texting Husband how sick and tired I am of being sick and tired.
He responded with one simple question: "Did you take Robitussin?"
DO'H! No I had not. But then I did...and man, is this stuff awesome, or what?
I feel so much better now!
I could run to the moon and back!
I could learn Russian in a day!
I might be a little high right now.
Not high enough to be completely non-functional, thank God. Just high enough to send an email to a friend letting him know I cannot forward him a link to a website, because I do not have his email address.
Yes, that just happened.
So I think now would be the perfect time to remind all you guys I'm giving a class at Folsom Fringe this year, it's exactly one week away, and I've decided I'm going hand out M&Ms at the end of my class. Maybe even M&M cookies.
Cause this is the dark side. We're supposed to have cookies.
Also, as I've been doing the last few years, I'm going to be live tweeting Folsom Street Faire, but this year, I'm going to bring a bag of googly eyes with me, and every toy I buy, I'm going to put googly eyes on it before I take a picture to show you.
Because...why not?
KINK IS FUN!
Unfortunately, like extended family, colds seem to put their fingers in their ears and do the la la la, I can't hear you song when you insinuate it is time for them to move on.
This morning I was texting Husband how sick and tired I am of being sick and tired.
He responded with one simple question: "Did you take Robitussin?"
DO'H! No I had not. But then I did...and man, is this stuff awesome, or what?
I feel so much better now!
I could run to the moon and back!
I could learn Russian in a day!
I might be a little high right now.
Not high enough to be completely non-functional, thank God. Just high enough to send an email to a friend letting him know I cannot forward him a link to a website, because I do not have his email address.
Yes, that just happened.
So I think now would be the perfect time to remind all you guys I'm giving a class at Folsom Fringe this year, it's exactly one week away, and I've decided I'm going hand out M&Ms at the end of my class. Maybe even M&M cookies.
Cause this is the dark side. We're supposed to have cookies.
Also, as I've been doing the last few years, I'm going to be live tweeting Folsom Street Faire, but this year, I'm going to bring a bag of googly eyes with me, and every toy I buy, I'm going to put googly eyes on it before I take a picture to show you.
Because...why not?
KINK IS FUN!
September 12, 2013
Exercise Should Not Count (But Apparently It Does)
I am currently sick.
I have a cold.
You know what that means for me?
NO S/m.
This does not mean no D/s. Far from it. I often get the brunt of MORE D/s dynamics stuff when I'm sick.
Husband likes to order me around when I'm sick, trying to tell me what to do to get better, because he doesn't like me being sick. He doesn't want a sick wife. He likes me healthy, because when I'm healthy, I'm happy, I can do my job as a mother and wife, I can fulfill my duties running the household, and he can do evil, sadistic things to me. So he orders me to take it easy, he orders me to put on more clothes, he orders me to take my medicine like a good girl—
He makes me take Airborne, this high dose vitamin C crap, it tastes like cat piss—
Not that I know for sure, I have never tasted cat piss, but if you can imagine it, this would be it—
And he makes me go to sleep early. Like, insanely early.
He treats me like a little girl, which can be sweet at times....
We still have sex. The only times SEX has been "off the table" during our relationship was after each time I had either a baby, or surgery. But when I'm sick, he treats me to relatively painless sex, which means no roughhousing, no tussling, and no imposing physical torment involved.
You know what that means, right? It means no fun.
A friend of mine gave me a new cane last week. Isn't it a beauty?
This friend of mine is a sadist, and when I say sadist, I mean sadist. He's got a sick, twisted, evil fucking mind. He's generous with his toys, and will give them away gladly, because he knows more masochists in the world are suffering horrendous, indescribable pain strictly because of him. I think he considers his sadism a fucking vocation.
Anyway, he gave me this cane (with the promise I tell him what it feels like, of course), but Husband has not had the chance to do any real damage with it on me so far, because I've been sick.
But I think my luck is about to change tonight.
Husband called me earlier while I was working out.
"I can't talk right now," I huffed and puffed, "I'm working out."
"Oh, you're well enough to work out?" He asked. "That's good to know."
"Why?" I wheezed.
"Because if you're well enough to work out, you're well enough to get a caning," he said. "I'll see you later tonight."
"Wait! Husband! NOOooooooooo"
Number #5693 why I HATE WORKING OUT.
I have a cold.
You know what that means for me?
NO S/m.
This does not mean no D/s. Far from it. I often get the brunt of MORE D/s dynamics stuff when I'm sick.
Husband likes to order me around when I'm sick, trying to tell me what to do to get better, because he doesn't like me being sick. He doesn't want a sick wife. He likes me healthy, because when I'm healthy, I'm happy, I can do my job as a mother and wife, I can fulfill my duties running the household, and he can do evil, sadistic things to me. So he orders me to take it easy, he orders me to put on more clothes, he orders me to take my medicine like a good girl—
He makes me take Airborne, this high dose vitamin C crap, it tastes like cat piss—
Not that I know for sure, I have never tasted cat piss, but if you can imagine it, this would be it—
And he makes me go to sleep early. Like, insanely early.
He treats me like a little girl, which can be sweet at times....
We still have sex. The only times SEX has been "off the table" during our relationship was after each time I had either a baby, or surgery. But when I'm sick, he treats me to relatively painless sex, which means no roughhousing, no tussling, and no imposing physical torment involved.
You know what that means, right? It means no fun.
A friend of mine gave me a new cane last week. Isn't it a beauty?
This friend of mine is a sadist, and when I say sadist, I mean sadist. He's got a sick, twisted, evil fucking mind. He's generous with his toys, and will give them away gladly, because he knows more masochists in the world are suffering horrendous, indescribable pain strictly because of him. I think he considers his sadism a fucking vocation. Anyway, he gave me this cane (with the promise I tell him what it feels like, of course), but Husband has not had the chance to do any real damage with it on me so far, because I've been sick.
But I think my luck is about to change tonight.
Husband called me earlier while I was working out.
"I can't talk right now," I huffed and puffed, "I'm working out."
"Oh, you're well enough to work out?" He asked. "That's good to know."
"Why?" I wheezed.
"Because if you're well enough to work out, you're well enough to get a caning," he said. "I'll see you later tonight."
"Wait! Husband! NOOooooooooo"
Number #5693 why I HATE WORKING OUT.
September 7, 2013
Free to Not Want
If you've been in the scene for any length of time, you've probably seen this one before: a submissive masochist—let's say female, since I am speaking as a female submissive masochist—will start talking about her journey in kink, how she's getting into things she wasn't before, how she's discovering herself, she's learning, and trying, new tools, new techniques, and new methods of play.
Her point at the end always seems to be something along the lines of I didn't know I would like that so much, but I did! And it's awesome! I want more of that! More more more!
Inevitably, people within earshot—especially if they are male Dom Sadists—will applause and congratulate the sub on her journey of self discovery. She is lauded for being adventurous, and for stepping out of her comfort zone, facing her fear, to try something more kinky. And there are usually head nods of conveyed understanding, because of course she liked what she tried, all she had to do was go for it, to open up a whole new world of kink.
Here is something you don't usually see: a submissive masochist talking about how she stepped out of her comfort zone to try something new, was willing to face her fear, conquer whatever mental restraints she had holding her back, and decided in the end, she didn't like it, not one whit.
Very few submissive masochists own up to that shit, and people in the scene don't commend that. Kinksters don't praise that attitude.
And what I want to know is, why the fuck not?
Why don't we compliment people in the scene for discovering things they don't like? I don't know if this is an issue for Dominant Sadists, but it sure is a big issue for submissive masochists, speaking from a personal vantage point.
There seems to be this expectation on our journey of self-exploration, that the farther we go, the more willing and open we're supposed to be to, well, just about anything. If we decide we don't like something, that that's just not our kink, then something's wrong with the master plan.
We're supposed to get more kinky, not less.
More kink means more toys, more humiliation, more tears, more positions, more screams, more play.
More of everything.
More more more.
But guess what? Kink is not about conquering limits and facing fears. Well, it is for some of us, but it's about other things, too. It's about options, inclinations, choices of desire, deciding for ourselves what turns us on and what doesn't.
Kink, in a way, is about seducing ourselves.
Too many Doms and Sadists out there share a mindset that women are trapped in this prison of their own inhibitions, and it's the Dominant Sadist's job to free them from it. Once done, the Dominant Sadists think they deserve, and will receive, praise, respect, and reverence from the women they've liberated, as well as the community, for managing the herculean feat of transforming a shy, ignorant girl into a full-fledged kinky woman.
But this is not true freedom. The woman isn't free, she's just traded one set of confines for another. She's stuck in someone else's expectations of fantasy; maybe it's one Dominant Sadist's, or maybe it's the community's at large. But she's striving to become someone she's not, to meet someone else's set of ideals—not her ideals.
The bottom line is, a woman should be able to decide for herself what she wants and likes, and in order for her to do that, she also has to decide what she doesn't want or like.
It is so simple a concept, so logical when you think about it...and yet so many of us forget, or choose not to see.
Fetlife doesn't make it any easier. Notice how people can add as many fetishes as they want, yet have no way of creating a "limits" list? Sure, people can write one up themselves to put on their profile, but how many people actually do that?
Why are there so few?
So this is me, this is where I am on my journey right now: I don't like rope. Rope is not my kink. I don't like anything tight on me. I do love chain, but I let a very select few restrain me in that way, so if you've never been in my house and met my dog, you are likely not one of the few. I don't like needles. I don't like bugs, especially spiders.
There's more to this list, of course. If there's ever a need, I'll reveal more. But this is good for now.
I'm a work in process. I'm evolving. We all are, I think. Our lists change with time. But we should always be able to state with pride who we are, what we like...what we want, and what we don't.
September 1, 2013
I Used Grammarly to Grammar Check This Post, Because CHOCOLATE.
Dudes, it's not very often I get asked to do a sponsored post.
Okay, I know "not very often" is a relative term, and obviously, if you don't have a blog, you must never be asked, because how would you? That would be silly.
So maybe I am asked more often than some of you, but not as often as others of you. Which puts me squarely in the Where The Fuck Is She Going With This category.
While I don't get asked to do a sponsored post all that often, I have done one exactly NEVER, and there is one simple reason for that:
No one has ever agreed to pay me in chocolate.
This is what ends up happening: I get an email request asking me to do a sponsored post. I send a polite, heartfelt reply, asking to be paid in chocolate. I never get a response back.
It is a travesty. A TRAVESTY OF INFINITE PROPORTIONS.
I have no idea why nobody is willing to pay me in chocolate. What do they have against chocolate? It's too smooth? It's too decadent? It's too awesome on their roughshod tastebuds?
In any case...
Something marvelous happened the other day. I got an email from the company whose name is in the title of the post, Grammarly. They offered me an Amazon gift card if I do a sponsored post on writing and link to them on grammar check. And then, and then! There, at the bottom of the email, was an invitation to come to San Francisco and drink coffee with them.
THAT was quite a personal touch, you guys. They were asking me to share coffee with them. You know what kind of people do that? The kind of people who might be willing to share chocolate with me instead.
So I sent a reply back, asking. AND THEY DID NOT POO POOH THE IDEA.
So here I am, writing their post. It worked out well, because I was thinking about writing a post on writing anyway. I mean, the title of the blog is Shelby Cross, Writer, right? I should write a post now and then on writing.
So here goes.
SOME COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS IN EROTICA (YES I'VE DONE THIS TOO)Wary vs Weary
Synonyms for wary: leery, suspicious, guarded
Synonyms for weary: bored, drained, fatigued
Wary in a sentence: "She studied the spanking bench, wary and nervous."
Weary in a sentence: "She plopped her body down on the pile of pillows, worn out and weary, trying her best not to lay on her bruises."
Taut vs Taunt
Synonyms for taut: tense, strained, stretched
Synonyms for taunt: provoke, criticize, jeer
Taut in a sentence: "He ticked her vulnerable skin, stretched taut by the rope."
Taunt in a sentence: "She taunted him with her insolence, baiting him to punish her."
Tortuous vs torturous (Readers please forgive me the spelling is so fucking close)
Synonyms for tortuous: winding, twisting, bent
Synonyms for torturous: harrowing, agonzing, excruciating
Tortuous in a sentence: "He forced her down the tortuous path into subspace."
Torturous in sentence: "She screamed through his torturous spanking."
Elicit vs Illicit
Synonyms for elicit: evoke, exact, derive
Synonyms for illicit: immoral, improper, adulterous
Elicit in a sentence: "Even in her thigh-high, bright red, skin tight skirt, she was unable to elicit a response from him."
Illicit in a sentence: "He noticed her illicit attire, but chose to say nothing."
Discreet vs Discrete
Synonyms for discreet: cautious, attentive, careful
Synonyms for discrete: disconnected, detached, individual
Discreet in a sentence: "He ordered her to remove her panties discreetly under the table in the public restaurant."
Discrete in a sentence: "The dungeon appealed to a discrete type of clientele, the type who required loud equipment and a soundproof room."
There are other words like this. These are the ones I get wrong the most often. No, scratch that—there are plenty of words I get wrong more often, so often I try my best to just steer clear of them. Words like Effect vs Affect, and Adverse vs Averse. I just find different ways to word the sentence.
Here's the thing about using these words wrong: if the scene is otherwise written out well, if you've captivated your audience with the action, characters, and setting, if your writing style is making the reader want to keep going at a clipped pace, they will not mind if you get these words wrong. At least, not too much. Not the average reader. Yes, there will be readers out there who notice, and will taunt you mercilessly for your mistakes (fuck you, Ken). But most readers will just keep reading.
That, however, is no reason to allow yourself to make these mistakes. They are preventable, avoidable, and completely unnecessary if you edit your work.
But that's the hard part, isn't it? Most people think writing out a book is the hard part. The truth is, writing out a book is really hard, but nowhere near as hard as going back and editing it through. And then again.
And then again.
And yes, you should use software like Grammarly to grammar check and fix problems that need fixing. Ask friends to look over your work. Put it a away for a few days, and read it again with a fresh pair of eyes. Do whatever it takes, use whatever tools are available to polish up your work before you hand it off to readers.
Know the basic writing rules, know when you are breaking them for a good cause, and forgive yourself if you realize you've made a mistake too late. It happens. We all do it.
But the bottom line is, give your readers the best you can. They deserve it.
This post was sponsored by Grammarly...maybe. If they ever send me my chocolate. If they send me an Amazon gift card, I will no doubt accept it, but I will use it to buy only chocolate; and while the chocolate will no doubt taste good, it will not be as sweet as chocolate gifted instead. http://www.grammarly.com
Okay, I know "not very often" is a relative term, and obviously, if you don't have a blog, you must never be asked, because how would you? That would be silly.
So maybe I am asked more often than some of you, but not as often as others of you. Which puts me squarely in the Where The Fuck Is She Going With This category.
While I don't get asked to do a sponsored post all that often, I have done one exactly NEVER, and there is one simple reason for that:
No one has ever agreed to pay me in chocolate.
This is what ends up happening: I get an email request asking me to do a sponsored post. I send a polite, heartfelt reply, asking to be paid in chocolate. I never get a response back.
It is a travesty. A TRAVESTY OF INFINITE PROPORTIONS.
I have no idea why nobody is willing to pay me in chocolate. What do they have against chocolate? It's too smooth? It's too decadent? It's too awesome on their roughshod tastebuds?
In any case...
Something marvelous happened the other day. I got an email from the company whose name is in the title of the post, Grammarly. They offered me an Amazon gift card if I do a sponsored post on writing and link to them on grammar check. And then, and then! There, at the bottom of the email, was an invitation to come to San Francisco and drink coffee with them.
THAT was quite a personal touch, you guys. They were asking me to share coffee with them. You know what kind of people do that? The kind of people who might be willing to share chocolate with me instead.
So I sent a reply back, asking. AND THEY DID NOT POO POOH THE IDEA.
So here I am, writing their post. It worked out well, because I was thinking about writing a post on writing anyway. I mean, the title of the blog is Shelby Cross, Writer, right? I should write a post now and then on writing.
So here goes.
SOME COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS IN EROTICA (YES I'VE DONE THIS TOO)Wary vs Weary
Synonyms for wary: leery, suspicious, guarded
Synonyms for weary: bored, drained, fatigued
Wary in a sentence: "She studied the spanking bench, wary and nervous."
Weary in a sentence: "She plopped her body down on the pile of pillows, worn out and weary, trying her best not to lay on her bruises."
Taut vs Taunt
Synonyms for taut: tense, strained, stretched
Synonyms for taunt: provoke, criticize, jeer
Taut in a sentence: "He ticked her vulnerable skin, stretched taut by the rope."
Taunt in a sentence: "She taunted him with her insolence, baiting him to punish her."
Tortuous vs torturous (Readers please forgive me the spelling is so fucking close)
Synonyms for tortuous: winding, twisting, bent
Synonyms for torturous: harrowing, agonzing, excruciating
Tortuous in a sentence: "He forced her down the tortuous path into subspace."
Torturous in sentence: "She screamed through his torturous spanking."
Elicit vs Illicit
Synonyms for elicit: evoke, exact, derive
Synonyms for illicit: immoral, improper, adulterous
Elicit in a sentence: "Even in her thigh-high, bright red, skin tight skirt, she was unable to elicit a response from him."
Illicit in a sentence: "He noticed her illicit attire, but chose to say nothing."
Discreet vs Discrete
Synonyms for discreet: cautious, attentive, careful
Synonyms for discrete: disconnected, detached, individual
Discreet in a sentence: "He ordered her to remove her panties discreetly under the table in the public restaurant."
Discrete in a sentence: "The dungeon appealed to a discrete type of clientele, the type who required loud equipment and a soundproof room."
There are other words like this. These are the ones I get wrong the most often. No, scratch that—there are plenty of words I get wrong more often, so often I try my best to just steer clear of them. Words like Effect vs Affect, and Adverse vs Averse. I just find different ways to word the sentence.
Here's the thing about using these words wrong: if the scene is otherwise written out well, if you've captivated your audience with the action, characters, and setting, if your writing style is making the reader want to keep going at a clipped pace, they will not mind if you get these words wrong. At least, not too much. Not the average reader. Yes, there will be readers out there who notice, and will taunt you mercilessly for your mistakes (fuck you, Ken). But most readers will just keep reading.
That, however, is no reason to allow yourself to make these mistakes. They are preventable, avoidable, and completely unnecessary if you edit your work.
But that's the hard part, isn't it? Most people think writing out a book is the hard part. The truth is, writing out a book is really hard, but nowhere near as hard as going back and editing it through. And then again.
And then again.
And yes, you should use software like Grammarly to grammar check and fix problems that need fixing. Ask friends to look over your work. Put it a away for a few days, and read it again with a fresh pair of eyes. Do whatever it takes, use whatever tools are available to polish up your work before you hand it off to readers.
Know the basic writing rules, know when you are breaking them for a good cause, and forgive yourself if you realize you've made a mistake too late. It happens. We all do it.
But the bottom line is, give your readers the best you can. They deserve it.
This post was sponsored by Grammarly...maybe. If they ever send me my chocolate. If they send me an Amazon gift card, I will no doubt accept it, but I will use it to buy only chocolate; and while the chocolate will no doubt taste good, it will not be as sweet as chocolate gifted instead. http://www.grammarly.com
I Used Grammarly to Grammar Check This Post, Because CHOCOLATE. (Also, I don't know how to put a link in a blogger title, so pretend the words "grammar check" links to www.grammarly.com)
Dudes, it's not very often I get asked to do a sponsored post.
Okay, I know "not very often" is a relative term, and obviously, if you don't have a blog, you must never be asked, because how would you? That would be silly.
So maybe I am asked more often than some of you, but not as often as others of you. Which puts me squarely in the Where The Fuck Is She Going With This category.
While I don't get asked to do a sponsored post all that often, I have done one exactly NEVER, and there is one simple reason for that:
No one has ever agreed to pay me in chocolate.
This is what ends up happening: I get an email request asking me to do a sponsored post. I send a polite, heartfelt reply, asking to be paid in chocolate. I never get a response back.
It is a travesty. A TRAVESTY OF INFINITE PROPORTIONS.
I have no idea why nobody is willing to pay me in chocolate. What do they have against chocolate? It's too smooth? It's too decadent? It's too awesome on their roughshod tastebuds?
In any case...
Something marvelous happened the other day. I got an email from the company whose name is in the title of the post, Grammarly. They offered me an Amazon gift card if I do a sponsored post on writing. And then, and then! There, at the bottom of the email, was an invitation to come to San Francisco and drink coffee with them.
THAT was quite a personal touch, you guys. They were asking me to share coffee with them. You know what kind of people do that? The kind of people who might be willing to share chocolate with me instead.
So I sent a reply back, asking. AND THEY DID NOT POO POOH THE IDEA.
So here I am, writing their post. It worked out well, because I was thinking about writing a post on writing anyway. I mean, the title of the blog is Shelby Cross, Writer, right? I should write a post now and then on writing.
So here goes.
SOME COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS IN EROTICA (YES I'VE DONE THIS TOO)Wary vs Weary
Synonyms for wary: leery, suspicious, guarded
Synonyms for weary: bored, drained, fatigued
Wary in a sentence: "She studied the spanking bench, wary and nervous."
Weary in a sentence: "She plopped her body down on the pile of pillows, worn out and weary, trying her best not to lay on her bruises."
Taut vs Taunt
Synonyms for taut: tense, strained, stretched
Synonyms for taunt: provoke, criticize, jeer
Taut in a sentence: "He ticked her vulnerable skin, stretched taut by the rope."
Taunt in a sentence: "She taunted him with her insolence, baiting him to punish her."
Tortuous vs torturous (Readers please forgive me the spelling is so fucking close)
Synonyms for tortuous: winding, twisting, bent
Synonyms for torturous: harrowing, agonzing, excruciating
Tortuous in a sentence: "He forced her down the tortuous path into subspace."
Torturous in sentence: "She screamed through his torturous spanking."
Elicit vs Illicit
Synonyms for elicit: evoke, exact, derive
Synonyms for illicit: immoral, improper, adulterous
Elicit in a sentence: "Even in her thigh-high, bright red, skin tight skirt, she was unable to elicit a response from him."
Illicit in a sentence: "He noticed her illicit attire, but chose to say nothing."
Discreet vs Discrete
Synonyms for discreet: cautious, attentive, careful
Synonyms for discrete: disconnected, detached, individual
Discreet in a sentence: "He ordered her to remove her panties discreetly under the table in the public restaurant."
Discrete in a sentence: "The dungeon appealed to a discrete type of clientele, the type who required loud equipment and a soundproof room."
There are other words like this. These are the ones I get wrong the most often. No, scratch that—there are plenty of words I get wrong more often, so often I try my best to just steer clear of them. Words like Effect vs Affect, and Adverse vs Averse. I just find different ways to word the sentence.
Here's the thing about using these words wrong: if the scene is otherwise written out well, if you've captivated your audience with the action, characters, and setting, if your writing style is making the reader want to keep going at a clipped pace, they will not mind if you get these words wrong. At least, not too much. Not the average reader. Yes, there will be readers out there who notice, and will taunt you mercilessly for your mistakes (fuck you, Ken). But most readers will just keep reading.
That, however, is no reason to allow yourself to make these mistakes. They are preventable, avoidable, and completely unnecessary if you edit your work.
But that's the hard part, isn't it? Most people think writing out a book is the hard part. The truth is, writing out a book is really hard, but nowhere near as hard as going back and editing it through. And then again.
And then again.
And yes, you should use software like Grammarly to fix problems that need fixing. Ask friends to look over your work. Put it a away for a few days, and read it again with a fresh pair of eyes. Do whatever it takes, use whatever tools are available to polish up your work before you hand it off to readers.
Know the basic writing rules, know when you are breaking them for a good cause, and forgive yourself if you realize you've made a mistake too late. It happens. We all do it.
But the bottom line is, give your readers the best you can. They deserve it.
This post was sponsored by Grammarly...maybe. If they ever send me my chocolate. If they send me an Amazon gift card, I will no doubt accept it, but I will use it to buy only chocolate; and while the chocolate will no doubt taste good, it will not be as sweet as chocolate gifted instead. http://www.grammarly.com
Okay, I know "not very often" is a relative term, and obviously, if you don't have a blog, you must never be asked, because how would you? That would be silly.
So maybe I am asked more often than some of you, but not as often as others of you. Which puts me squarely in the Where The Fuck Is She Going With This category.
While I don't get asked to do a sponsored post all that often, I have done one exactly NEVER, and there is one simple reason for that:
No one has ever agreed to pay me in chocolate.
This is what ends up happening: I get an email request asking me to do a sponsored post. I send a polite, heartfelt reply, asking to be paid in chocolate. I never get a response back.
It is a travesty. A TRAVESTY OF INFINITE PROPORTIONS.
I have no idea why nobody is willing to pay me in chocolate. What do they have against chocolate? It's too smooth? It's too decadent? It's too awesome on their roughshod tastebuds?
In any case...
Something marvelous happened the other day. I got an email from the company whose name is in the title of the post, Grammarly. They offered me an Amazon gift card if I do a sponsored post on writing. And then, and then! There, at the bottom of the email, was an invitation to come to San Francisco and drink coffee with them.
THAT was quite a personal touch, you guys. They were asking me to share coffee with them. You know what kind of people do that? The kind of people who might be willing to share chocolate with me instead.
So I sent a reply back, asking. AND THEY DID NOT POO POOH THE IDEA.
So here I am, writing their post. It worked out well, because I was thinking about writing a post on writing anyway. I mean, the title of the blog is Shelby Cross, Writer, right? I should write a post now and then on writing.
So here goes.
SOME COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS IN EROTICA (YES I'VE DONE THIS TOO)Wary vs Weary
Synonyms for wary: leery, suspicious, guarded
Synonyms for weary: bored, drained, fatigued
Wary in a sentence: "She studied the spanking bench, wary and nervous."
Weary in a sentence: "She plopped her body down on the pile of pillows, worn out and weary, trying her best not to lay on her bruises."
Taut vs Taunt
Synonyms for taut: tense, strained, stretched
Synonyms for taunt: provoke, criticize, jeer
Taut in a sentence: "He ticked her vulnerable skin, stretched taut by the rope."
Taunt in a sentence: "She taunted him with her insolence, baiting him to punish her."
Tortuous vs torturous (Readers please forgive me the spelling is so fucking close)
Synonyms for tortuous: winding, twisting, bent
Synonyms for torturous: harrowing, agonzing, excruciating
Tortuous in a sentence: "He forced her down the tortuous path into subspace."
Torturous in sentence: "She screamed through his torturous spanking."
Elicit vs Illicit
Synonyms for elicit: evoke, exact, derive
Synonyms for illicit: immoral, improper, adulterous
Elicit in a sentence: "Even in her thigh-high, bright red, skin tight skirt, she was unable to elicit a response from him."
Illicit in a sentence: "He noticed her illicit attire, but chose to say nothing."
Discreet vs Discrete
Synonyms for discreet: cautious, attentive, careful
Synonyms for discrete: disconnected, detached, individual
Discreet in a sentence: "He ordered her to remove her panties discreetly under the table in the public restaurant."
Discrete in a sentence: "The dungeon appealed to a discrete type of clientele, the type who required loud equipment and a soundproof room."
There are other words like this. These are the ones I get wrong the most often. No, scratch that—there are plenty of words I get wrong more often, so often I try my best to just steer clear of them. Words like Effect vs Affect, and Adverse vs Averse. I just find different ways to word the sentence.
Here's the thing about using these words wrong: if the scene is otherwise written out well, if you've captivated your audience with the action, characters, and setting, if your writing style is making the reader want to keep going at a clipped pace, they will not mind if you get these words wrong. At least, not too much. Not the average reader. Yes, there will be readers out there who notice, and will taunt you mercilessly for your mistakes (fuck you, Ken). But most readers will just keep reading.
That, however, is no reason to allow yourself to make these mistakes. They are preventable, avoidable, and completely unnecessary if you edit your work.
But that's the hard part, isn't it? Most people think writing out a book is the hard part. The truth is, writing out a book is really hard, but nowhere near as hard as going back and editing it through. And then again.
And then again.
And yes, you should use software like Grammarly to fix problems that need fixing. Ask friends to look over your work. Put it a away for a few days, and read it again with a fresh pair of eyes. Do whatever it takes, use whatever tools are available to polish up your work before you hand it off to readers.
Know the basic writing rules, know when you are breaking them for a good cause, and forgive yourself if you realize you've made a mistake too late. It happens. We all do it.
But the bottom line is, give your readers the best you can. They deserve it.
This post was sponsored by Grammarly...maybe. If they ever send me my chocolate. If they send me an Amazon gift card, I will no doubt accept it, but I will use it to buy only chocolate; and while the chocolate will no doubt taste good, it will not be as sweet as chocolate gifted instead. http://www.grammarly.com
August 23, 2013
His Love of Bikini Is Our Love of Suit
It's been said a man cannot resist the vision of a nice pair of breasts. I'd have to agree with the statement; breasts, butt, curve and cunt, they all captivate the eyes and hearts of (straight) men.
But men aren't only attracted to women's naked bare bodies.
One of the most popular videos on Youtube at one point was of a woman exercising in front of a Wii. She was wearing a t-shirt that covered her entire upper body and butt, down to her thighs. She was not wearing any makeup. She was not trying to look appealing. In fact, she didn't even know her boyfriend was filming her.
But it reached the top of Youtube's list, and most of the (male straight) commentators thought she was hot.
It's not always about what a woman is wearing—or not wearing. Often, it's about what she's doing, how she's going about it, and what her attitude is.
The same applies to men. Yes, I find Husband sexy when he's naked and ready to fuck me. But there are a thousand other things he might be doing during the day, millions of them, that make me pause and catch my breath and think to myself, My God, that man of mine is HOT.
Sometimes I tell Husband I think what he's doing is sexy. Other times I do not, since I've found that once I tell him, he often exaggerates whatever it is he's doing, turning it into a parody, which is not sexy.
But here is a short list of otherwise tame and innocuous things which I think are totally sexy. I might add to it as time goes on.
When he:
•Rolls up his sleeves...very, very slowly
•Shaves using shaving cream and a razor.
•Pours water over his own sweaty head.
•Smiles wickedly.
•Uses a wrench to fix, well, anything.
•Buckles his belt around his waist.
•Unbuckles his belt around his waist.
•Walks around wearing a pair of blue jeans, open to the crotch, but no shirt or socks.
•Walks around wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.
•Rubs his face with both hands.
•Looks at me with furrowed brows.
•Falls asleep stretched out on the couch.
•Calls his mother. (Yes, I find this hot, and endearing.)
•Laughs unrestrainedly.
•Corners me against the wall.
•Grabs my wrist.
Ladies, start making your own, and share them with your man. You might surprise him.
But men aren't only attracted to women's naked bare bodies.
One of the most popular videos on Youtube at one point was of a woman exercising in front of a Wii. She was wearing a t-shirt that covered her entire upper body and butt, down to her thighs. She was not wearing any makeup. She was not trying to look appealing. In fact, she didn't even know her boyfriend was filming her.
But it reached the top of Youtube's list, and most of the (male straight) commentators thought she was hot.
It's not always about what a woman is wearing—or not wearing. Often, it's about what she's doing, how she's going about it, and what her attitude is.
The same applies to men. Yes, I find Husband sexy when he's naked and ready to fuck me. But there are a thousand other things he might be doing during the day, millions of them, that make me pause and catch my breath and think to myself, My God, that man of mine is HOT.
Sometimes I tell Husband I think what he's doing is sexy. Other times I do not, since I've found that once I tell him, he often exaggerates whatever it is he's doing, turning it into a parody, which is not sexy.
But here is a short list of otherwise tame and innocuous things which I think are totally sexy. I might add to it as time goes on.
When he:
•Rolls up his sleeves...very, very slowly
•Shaves using shaving cream and a razor.
•Pours water over his own sweaty head.
•Smiles wickedly.
•Uses a wrench to fix, well, anything.
•Buckles his belt around his waist.
•Unbuckles his belt around his waist.
•Walks around wearing a pair of blue jeans, open to the crotch, but no shirt or socks.
•Walks around wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.
•Rubs his face with both hands.
•Looks at me with furrowed brows.
•Falls asleep stretched out on the couch.
•Calls his mother. (Yes, I find this hot, and endearing.)
•Laughs unrestrainedly.
•Corners me against the wall.
•Grabs my wrist.
Ladies, start making your own, and share them with your man. You might surprise him.
