Stacey Ballis's Blog, page 12
November 17, 2013
Getting Ready for Thankfulness!
Well Chickens, its almost that time. Your Polymath is in full pre-Thanksgiving prep mode and loving every minute of it! In spite of my passion for the holiday, circumstances the past few years have prevented me from hosting, and as a result it has been 3 years since I got my Thanksgiving On!
For starters, as always, I want to tell you early and often how thankful I am for you. I so appreciate that you are here, reading, commenting, and supporting me and my work. And I hope that you will continue to hang out with me here, and at all the other relevant social media spots... in case you aren't already, here is where to follow me on Twitter , Facebook , Pinterest , Google+ and my official website for upcoming events and information.
I also want to remind you that I'm enormously thankful for your pre-ordering my new book!
It will be released December 3, and is a lovely gift for the holidays. There are over 40 pages of amazing recipes in the back, so even when the story is done, the delicious can last forever.
The other good news is that I'm back on Turkey Day duty, and it is much like riding a bike. I realized that in the past, I've focused on sharing with you the things I make in a manner geared very much towards Thanksgiving newbies. And if you want to read about that, or snag any of my classic recipes for the basics, you can check it out here.
There are some changes I've planned for this year, and the biggest one is that I'm going to Dry Brine our turkey. In years past I've been a big proponent of a wet brine, and it took many experiments to get the brine liquid just right, but while it made for a moist bird with good flavor, the flavor wasn't predominantly turkey. The turkey was more a texture, a delivery device for gravy and cranberry sauce and a sidekick to the side dishes. But since I last hosted, a few things have changed. One, I was diagnosed diabetic, so my carb overload Thanksgivings are a thing of the past. I still make everything I used to, but I have to limit myself to small rational portions of the carbs, and go heavy on the protein and veggies. This means that the turkey is suddenly much more important than ever before. So this year I made a commitment in an effort to make the bird the star of the show.
For starters, I ordered a fresh heritage turkey. It's expensive, especially since it has to be shipped to me, but I think it will be worth it. If you have the means, do it. If not, I hope you will ask your butcher to find you a fresh bird from a local producer. Second I'm losing the wet brine in favor of a dry brine. The reason is simple. While I want moist turkey, I want the moistness to be natural. When you wet brine the salt in the brine draws the juices out of the turkey and then the turkey sucks back in the brine. But now the juices have been significantly diluted by the water in the brine. Moist, yes. Flavorful, yes. Turkey flavored? Not so much. Plus you have to manage a large bucket of raw poultry juice sloshing around, not ideal. With a dry brine you need longer, three days instead of 16 hours. But it is easier, and results in a bird that is moist and tastes like turkey. The science is the same. By salting the outside and inside of the bird heavily, it draws the moisture out of the bird. Except then the turkey juices mix with the salt and get sucked back into the meat, without any extra water, just natural turkey juices that are now seasoned. The salt that is now inside the meat helps the bird retain its natural moisture while it cooks. And instead of a huge bucket of potential food poisoning liquid hanging about that you have to deal with, all you need is a large ziploc or brining bag, readily available at your grocery store or Amazon.
On Monday or Tuesday, take your turkey, remove the giblets bag, and generously salt with kosher salt, 1 Tablespoon for every 5 pounds of turkey, mixed with some dried herbs if you like. Plunk your well salted bird in the big ziploc bag, press as much of the air out as you can, and pop it in the fridge. Once a day or so if you remember, massage the bird around in the bag and flip it about. The night before Thanksgiving, right before you go to bed, take it out of the bag, DON'T RINSE IT OFF, and put it in the fridge uncovered. Be sure to give it plenty of room so that the raw turkey doesn't touch any other ingredients or things in your fridge. I put a protective layer of saran wrap over the inside of the fridge door to cover all the condiments etc. just in case. The next day, cook the turkey with your favorite recipe.
This year I'm also scaling things down a bit, for a more streamlined meal. The only pre-dinner nibbles are going to be herbed popcorn, fresh snap peas, and almonds, and then little espresso cups of pumpkin soup. I'm skipping the Jell-o mold this year, since all of us want to save our sugar rations for desserts, and doing steamed green beans with a lemon chive oil instead of the casserole.
But I'm adding in my mother-in-law's Pe-Hick Pie, a pretty simple pecan pie but with half pecans and half hickory nuts, which is a real upgrade and will be a lovely counterpoint to the classic deep dish apple pie.
The other thing I'm doing is some early mise-en place. I compulsively save those round plastic deli containers that everything seems to come in these days. So for each recipe I'm making, I'm making little tubs of the dry ingredients, pre-measured and labeled, so that when I'm cooking I don't have to measure things out one at a time. It's a trick stolen from some chef pals, who use masking tape and a sharpie on the deli lids to keep stuff organized, and I think it will make a huge difference.
I'd love to hear from you what your plans are, and any changes or improvements you're excited to make for your celebrations!
Yours in Good Taste,
A Very Thankful Polymath
For starters, as always, I want to tell you early and often how thankful I am for you. I so appreciate that you are here, reading, commenting, and supporting me and my work. And I hope that you will continue to hang out with me here, and at all the other relevant social media spots... in case you aren't already, here is where to follow me on Twitter , Facebook , Pinterest , Google+ and my official website for upcoming events and information.
I also want to remind you that I'm enormously thankful for your pre-ordering my new book!
It will be released December 3, and is a lovely gift for the holidays. There are over 40 pages of amazing recipes in the back, so even when the story is done, the delicious can last forever.
The other good news is that I'm back on Turkey Day duty, and it is much like riding a bike. I realized that in the past, I've focused on sharing with you the things I make in a manner geared very much towards Thanksgiving newbies. And if you want to read about that, or snag any of my classic recipes for the basics, you can check it out here.
There are some changes I've planned for this year, and the biggest one is that I'm going to Dry Brine our turkey. In years past I've been a big proponent of a wet brine, and it took many experiments to get the brine liquid just right, but while it made for a moist bird with good flavor, the flavor wasn't predominantly turkey. The turkey was more a texture, a delivery device for gravy and cranberry sauce and a sidekick to the side dishes. But since I last hosted, a few things have changed. One, I was diagnosed diabetic, so my carb overload Thanksgivings are a thing of the past. I still make everything I used to, but I have to limit myself to small rational portions of the carbs, and go heavy on the protein and veggies. This means that the turkey is suddenly much more important than ever before. So this year I made a commitment in an effort to make the bird the star of the show.
For starters, I ordered a fresh heritage turkey. It's expensive, especially since it has to be shipped to me, but I think it will be worth it. If you have the means, do it. If not, I hope you will ask your butcher to find you a fresh bird from a local producer. Second I'm losing the wet brine in favor of a dry brine. The reason is simple. While I want moist turkey, I want the moistness to be natural. When you wet brine the salt in the brine draws the juices out of the turkey and then the turkey sucks back in the brine. But now the juices have been significantly diluted by the water in the brine. Moist, yes. Flavorful, yes. Turkey flavored? Not so much. Plus you have to manage a large bucket of raw poultry juice sloshing around, not ideal. With a dry brine you need longer, three days instead of 16 hours. But it is easier, and results in a bird that is moist and tastes like turkey. The science is the same. By salting the outside and inside of the bird heavily, it draws the moisture out of the bird. Except then the turkey juices mix with the salt and get sucked back into the meat, without any extra water, just natural turkey juices that are now seasoned. The salt that is now inside the meat helps the bird retain its natural moisture while it cooks. And instead of a huge bucket of potential food poisoning liquid hanging about that you have to deal with, all you need is a large ziploc or brining bag, readily available at your grocery store or Amazon.
On Monday or Tuesday, take your turkey, remove the giblets bag, and generously salt with kosher salt, 1 Tablespoon for every 5 pounds of turkey, mixed with some dried herbs if you like. Plunk your well salted bird in the big ziploc bag, press as much of the air out as you can, and pop it in the fridge. Once a day or so if you remember, massage the bird around in the bag and flip it about. The night before Thanksgiving, right before you go to bed, take it out of the bag, DON'T RINSE IT OFF, and put it in the fridge uncovered. Be sure to give it plenty of room so that the raw turkey doesn't touch any other ingredients or things in your fridge. I put a protective layer of saran wrap over the inside of the fridge door to cover all the condiments etc. just in case. The next day, cook the turkey with your favorite recipe.
This year I'm also scaling things down a bit, for a more streamlined meal. The only pre-dinner nibbles are going to be herbed popcorn, fresh snap peas, and almonds, and then little espresso cups of pumpkin soup. I'm skipping the Jell-o mold this year, since all of us want to save our sugar rations for desserts, and doing steamed green beans with a lemon chive oil instead of the casserole.
But I'm adding in my mother-in-law's Pe-Hick Pie, a pretty simple pecan pie but with half pecans and half hickory nuts, which is a real upgrade and will be a lovely counterpoint to the classic deep dish apple pie.
The other thing I'm doing is some early mise-en place. I compulsively save those round plastic deli containers that everything seems to come in these days. So for each recipe I'm making, I'm making little tubs of the dry ingredients, pre-measured and labeled, so that when I'm cooking I don't have to measure things out one at a time. It's a trick stolen from some chef pals, who use masking tape and a sharpie on the deli lids to keep stuff organized, and I think it will make a huge difference.
I'd love to hear from you what your plans are, and any changes or improvements you're excited to make for your celebrations!
Yours in Good Taste,
A Very Thankful Polymath
November 6, 2013
Basement Demo- A Photo Essay
Chickens-
Many of you have inquired about how the basement renovation is progressing. So here is how.
Yes, this is our very scary boiler, and you can see why we are counting days till it is gone!
So far so good! There have been some fun treasures: a tobacco pouch and rolling papers from 1918, boards with the original street name written on them (Logan Blvd. used to be Humboldt Blvd.), some chunks of coal from the old coal-fired furnace. And we have been able to refine the design of the space.
One of the things that has changed significantly is the plan for the feel of the whole area. We had planned for your basic finished basement, all drywall and snugly insulated, with hardwood floors. But we believe in letting the building tell us what she wants to be, and apparently she wants to have something of an old-school industrial feel. First she revealed a lovely solid steel structure, including one post we didn't even know was there! The steel is quite hefty, secured with huge rivets that make us all think of grand ships, and large square beveled footplates. They seemed a shame to cover up, so we decided to keep them exposed. When our HVAC team convinced us that we would want radiant in-floor heating down there, which is essentially tubes for hot water that get embedded in the concrete sub-floor, we realized that with the exposed steel beams, perhaps an acid-stained concrete treatment might be a better choice for flooring, especially since we love rugs and much of the floor will get covered anyway.
The best and most exciting choice is to leave all of the gorgeous stone foundation and brick exposed. These craftsman did such an incredible job, and it is truly beautiful to look at. And since the foundation is a good 3 feet thick and the brick is four courses of masonry, there is actually no need to insulate the walls. We'll have both the floor heating and the new forced air heat, so it should be plenty cozy. Charming Suitor and I are thrilled with these changes, it is taking the basement from a pretty functional yet generic looking space to one that will have some special architectural details and true beauty. And even better, it all involves just letting the building be what it already is, which is always the most affordable choice.
The basement will contain:
Charming Suitor's wine cellar. This is actually a two-room space, incorporating the old canning room/root cellar that is under the front porch stairs, and a small room next to it. CS is in the midst of planning the racking system and figuring out the right equipment, and is having a ball. It is going to be such a terrific thing for him to have his collection in the house and not four miles away in storage!
An exercise room. I know, I know, everyone always says that it doesn't get used, but we have the room and we already have some equipment, and CS and I have been going to the gym together, so we hope we can keep up the habit of working out as a team, and maybe even increase the amount if we can just head downstairs to do it. Maybe we will be the exception!
A media room. I hate having huge TVs in the middle of your living room like a big black hole, so I'm really excited to have a designated place for movie nights and sports. Plus right now, we can only get three people on our couch, so when we have people over to watch something, it is sort of uncomfortable and annoying.
Two guest bedrooms. Because really? All I want is two little things. I want to be able to have one Thanksgiving with all of my family and the entire Charming family here in the house for the weekend. And I want to be able to tell dinner party guests to feel free to bring PJs, come for dinner, stay for breakfast!
A bathroom. This is fairly self-explanatory.
Storage, laundry, and mechanicals.
You can see how this project is going to take the rest of our natural lives.
That's all the news from here in the loud grinding whacking thumping vortex in which I'm living!
More soon,Your Polymath
Many of you have inquired about how the basement renovation is progressing. So here is how.
Yes, this is our very scary boiler, and you can see why we are counting days till it is gone!So far so good! There have been some fun treasures: a tobacco pouch and rolling papers from 1918, boards with the original street name written on them (Logan Blvd. used to be Humboldt Blvd.), some chunks of coal from the old coal-fired furnace. And we have been able to refine the design of the space.
One of the things that has changed significantly is the plan for the feel of the whole area. We had planned for your basic finished basement, all drywall and snugly insulated, with hardwood floors. But we believe in letting the building tell us what she wants to be, and apparently she wants to have something of an old-school industrial feel. First she revealed a lovely solid steel structure, including one post we didn't even know was there! The steel is quite hefty, secured with huge rivets that make us all think of grand ships, and large square beveled footplates. They seemed a shame to cover up, so we decided to keep them exposed. When our HVAC team convinced us that we would want radiant in-floor heating down there, which is essentially tubes for hot water that get embedded in the concrete sub-floor, we realized that with the exposed steel beams, perhaps an acid-stained concrete treatment might be a better choice for flooring, especially since we love rugs and much of the floor will get covered anyway.
The best and most exciting choice is to leave all of the gorgeous stone foundation and brick exposed. These craftsman did such an incredible job, and it is truly beautiful to look at. And since the foundation is a good 3 feet thick and the brick is four courses of masonry, there is actually no need to insulate the walls. We'll have both the floor heating and the new forced air heat, so it should be plenty cozy. Charming Suitor and I are thrilled with these changes, it is taking the basement from a pretty functional yet generic looking space to one that will have some special architectural details and true beauty. And even better, it all involves just letting the building be what it already is, which is always the most affordable choice.
The basement will contain:
Charming Suitor's wine cellar. This is actually a two-room space, incorporating the old canning room/root cellar that is under the front porch stairs, and a small room next to it. CS is in the midst of planning the racking system and figuring out the right equipment, and is having a ball. It is going to be such a terrific thing for him to have his collection in the house and not four miles away in storage!
An exercise room. I know, I know, everyone always says that it doesn't get used, but we have the room and we already have some equipment, and CS and I have been going to the gym together, so we hope we can keep up the habit of working out as a team, and maybe even increase the amount if we can just head downstairs to do it. Maybe we will be the exception!
A media room. I hate having huge TVs in the middle of your living room like a big black hole, so I'm really excited to have a designated place for movie nights and sports. Plus right now, we can only get three people on our couch, so when we have people over to watch something, it is sort of uncomfortable and annoying.
Two guest bedrooms. Because really? All I want is two little things. I want to be able to have one Thanksgiving with all of my family and the entire Charming family here in the house for the weekend. And I want to be able to tell dinner party guests to feel free to bring PJs, come for dinner, stay for breakfast!
A bathroom. This is fairly self-explanatory.
Storage, laundry, and mechanicals.
You can see how this project is going to take the rest of our natural lives.
That's all the news from here in the loud grinding whacking thumping vortex in which I'm living!
More soon,Your Polymath
October 23, 2013
Wild Untamed Asshat Sighting
Tonight, driving down California at dusk, Charming Suitor and I witnessed an epic display of lack of human kindness.
There was a long line from the light at Belmont, so we were stopped a good block and a half back. In front of us was an SUV and in front of the SUV was a police cruiser. On the side of the street, getting ready to cross, completely jaywalking, was a man with a cane about 70 years old. Traffic was completely stopped. The man walked up to the window of the SUV and proceeded to yell at the guy that he was driving without his headlights on RIGHT BEHIND A POLICE CAR! He then walked between the two cars and went to the driver's side of the cruiser and TATTLED on the guy in the SUV like they were in kindergarten and the guy had stolen his crayons.
Then he finished his leisurely jaywalk across the street.
It is important to note that the SUV had done nothing to this man, had not moved while the guy was crossing, or blocked his path. Nothing to incite any sort of desire for revenge or retribution.
As traffic finally began to move again, the cop car slid over to the side, and then merged right in front of us, behind the SUV and turned on the lights.
The poor SUV got pulled over and probably ticketed, for having been slow on the uptake with his headlights at DUSK on a well-lit street, a thing I have probably done a zillion times, especially in these weird Fall nights.
CS and I were totally shocked, not at the cops, who really at that point didn't have much of an option, but at the random assholery of the pedestrian who went so far out of his way to make trouble for someone who had not done a single thing to warrant it.
Now, I have on occasion given in to road rage. I have called in a complaint to the "How am I driving?" number on the back of a truck that blew a stop sign and almost t-boned me. When an idiot hipster bike rider flew into my lane of moving traffic at top speed from inside a park without stopping and then almost wrecked himself on the front of my car, caught up with me to ask me what the fuck I thought I was doing, I did respond "Thinning the herd.". And once after waiting for over 15 minutes in a parking lot for a space to open only to have a yuppie in a BMW snake my space from the other side, I might have called him a foul name or two and questioned his parentage at the top of my voice out the window.
But in each case, I felt provoked, incited, and reasonably justified.
Tonight? I wished that I had the power to look up that guy's license plate, get his address, and send him some cookies.
What is the nastiest unprovoked thing you have seen?
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
There was a long line from the light at Belmont, so we were stopped a good block and a half back. In front of us was an SUV and in front of the SUV was a police cruiser. On the side of the street, getting ready to cross, completely jaywalking, was a man with a cane about 70 years old. Traffic was completely stopped. The man walked up to the window of the SUV and proceeded to yell at the guy that he was driving without his headlights on RIGHT BEHIND A POLICE CAR! He then walked between the two cars and went to the driver's side of the cruiser and TATTLED on the guy in the SUV like they were in kindergarten and the guy had stolen his crayons.
Then he finished his leisurely jaywalk across the street.
It is important to note that the SUV had done nothing to this man, had not moved while the guy was crossing, or blocked his path. Nothing to incite any sort of desire for revenge or retribution.
As traffic finally began to move again, the cop car slid over to the side, and then merged right in front of us, behind the SUV and turned on the lights.
The poor SUV got pulled over and probably ticketed, for having been slow on the uptake with his headlights at DUSK on a well-lit street, a thing I have probably done a zillion times, especially in these weird Fall nights.
CS and I were totally shocked, not at the cops, who really at that point didn't have much of an option, but at the random assholery of the pedestrian who went so far out of his way to make trouble for someone who had not done a single thing to warrant it.
Now, I have on occasion given in to road rage. I have called in a complaint to the "How am I driving?" number on the back of a truck that blew a stop sign and almost t-boned me. When an idiot hipster bike rider flew into my lane of moving traffic at top speed from inside a park without stopping and then almost wrecked himself on the front of my car, caught up with me to ask me what the fuck I thought I was doing, I did respond "Thinning the herd.". And once after waiting for over 15 minutes in a parking lot for a space to open only to have a yuppie in a BMW snake my space from the other side, I might have called him a foul name or two and questioned his parentage at the top of my voice out the window.
But in each case, I felt provoked, incited, and reasonably justified.
Tonight? I wished that I had the power to look up that guy's license plate, get his address, and send him some cookies.
What is the nastiest unprovoked thing you have seen?
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
October 22, 2013
Dominos and Chocolate Cake
Oh, Chickens...things are very very busy over here!
First off, before I do anything, I must remind my Chicago peeps to please attend the seventh annual Witty Women night! Tomorrow, October 23 at 7pm at The Book Cellar on Lincoln Avenue. Me, Jen Lancaster, Amy Guth and Claire Zulkey will be yukking it up, signing books, and there is wine to boot! Most of us write new pieces especially for this event, and I have finally put pen to paper about the legendary Lake Powell trip of 1996. Let's just say it involves a 60 foot houseboat, an epic ass-bruise, fruit compote, a broken toe, and a band of Superhero Fundamentalist Mormons. You don't want to miss it. First come first served, so get there early and get a seat!
Things are hopping over here at the house. We got some great new tenants for the two upstairs units. Eight 20something boys are now living in my house. EIGHT. The apartments are both 4 bedrooms, so we have two sets of roommates. I call them all Matt. Two of them are actually Matt, and that is 25%, and I'm too old to remember eight new names. So far they don't seem to mind, even though sometimes I have to ask them if they are a 3rd floor Matt or a 2nd floor Matt. At any rate, they are all very sweet and seem to be settling in happily.
The basement renovation has officially begun. It is amazing how setting out to do one project has a massive domino effect.
Today's example: HVAC. This old girl still has the original steam radiator heating system, and the "as many window units as the electrical system can handle" AC system. But one of the things my poor Charming Suitor gave up when I made him leave his darling bungalow to move into my Castle was a forced air heat and central air system. Ouch. So our first order of business and the very first project we wanted to undertake as owners was upgrading the building to a brand new HVAC system. On the surface, you would think this would not be a big deal. We knew that the chase would be in a series of identical closets we have stacked up on each floor. The new mechanicals would go in the basement essentially where the current massive scary boiler lives. We would run the ductwork for the upstairs units visible in their ceilings, and the ductwork for the basement and first floor right down the hallway in the basement, feeding up into our apartment and down into the basement. Easy peasy.
Except for that sneaky domino thing.
In order to install the new furnaces, you have to do demo on the ENTIRE BASEMENT, because otherwise you spend a freaking fortune on new furnaces that you then clog and damage with demolition dust. Okay, so you schedule the demo.
This then requires that you actually go through the 20 years of crap that has been accumulating in your basement and send what you want to keep to storage, and figure out what can just go away. The entire Anne Rice Oeuvre in mass market paperback, complete with brittle wavy pages from bathtub reading, for example. Three days of digging through old boxes of tax receipts from the early 1990's and both of our previous marriages. An entire duffel bag of concert security t-shirts from my days as a college roadie. Every book, CD, and DVD in the Western World that CS and I have apparently acquired. 25 collected years of 15 different cooking magazines. All the crap that sane people, who move 5-10 times in their 20s and 30s purge every time they move to a new place. Which I have never done because I haven't moved since I was 23.
We got it done, and are pleased with the results. A good 50% was purged, either given away, recycled or just junked. 45% got packed up in a somewhat organized fashion and headed off to storage, where we are unlikely to see it for the next couple of years. But it was the 5% we hadn't counted on.
The 5% of stuff that you keep in the basement because you don't need it often, but you do need it regularly.
Luggage and other travel gear. Basic tools for household repairs. The tubs and racks of off-season clothes. The Famous Christmas Tree. This is when you really commit to your project. Because this is when you realize that your dining room, formerly home to dinner parties and lovely celebrations is now officially the storage for the storage stuff that can't go to storage. This is when you tell friends and family that the dominos have knocked entertaining off the table, literally.
As I write this there are burly men in my basement making a huge racket and a 20 foot dumpster in the alley rapidly filling with crap, and frankly, for the moment? I love every bit of it.
In the meantime, I have a new recipe to share. It is from Food52.com, a site that if you aren't reading, you should. It is the perfect thing to have in your arsenal, for no other reason than it works in an emergency. People coming over? No eggs or milk in the house, and no time to go get any? Or your honey just called and is having a shitty day and you want something comforting to offer? This? Is that cake. Rich and moist and chocolaty, 45 minutes from start to finish, and 100% made of pantry staples.
It also happens to be naturally vegan, and can even be gluten-free if you use one of the cup-for-cup flour substitutes. It isn't overly sweet, especially if you don't frost it. It works as well for afternoon tea as it does for after a dinner party.
Emergency Chocolate CakeAdapted from Food52.comServes 6 to 8
1 ½ cup all-purpose flour1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa (I use Valrona or Hershey's Special Dark)1 teaspoon baking soda1 cup sugar½ teaspoon salt5 tablespoons neutral oil (like corn, canola, grapeseed or vegetable)1 cup cold water1 ½ teaspoon vanilla1 tablespoon cider or white vinegar1 t instant espresso powder (optional..but I love how coffee makes chocolate more chocolaty. You can also sub out cold coffee for 1/3 of the water.)Confectioners' sugar (optional, for dusting)
Heat the oven to 350° F.
Mix together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, sugar, espresso powder and salt. Sift. In a separate bowl, whisk together the water, oil, vanilla, and vinegar.
Whisk together the wet and dry mixtures. If lumpy, whisk until smooth, or pour through strainer in to a bowl and break up lumps, pressing them through.
Pour into a greased 9-inch round cake pan. Tap the edge of the pan against the edge of the counter, or drop from 6 inches to the floor several times to pop air bubbles. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the top springs back when pressed gently.
Cool before removing from the pan and dusting with confectioners' sugar, or frosting if desired.
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
First off, before I do anything, I must remind my Chicago peeps to please attend the seventh annual Witty Women night! Tomorrow, October 23 at 7pm at The Book Cellar on Lincoln Avenue. Me, Jen Lancaster, Amy Guth and Claire Zulkey will be yukking it up, signing books, and there is wine to boot! Most of us write new pieces especially for this event, and I have finally put pen to paper about the legendary Lake Powell trip of 1996. Let's just say it involves a 60 foot houseboat, an epic ass-bruise, fruit compote, a broken toe, and a band of Superhero Fundamentalist Mormons. You don't want to miss it. First come first served, so get there early and get a seat!
Things are hopping over here at the house. We got some great new tenants for the two upstairs units. Eight 20something boys are now living in my house. EIGHT. The apartments are both 4 bedrooms, so we have two sets of roommates. I call them all Matt. Two of them are actually Matt, and that is 25%, and I'm too old to remember eight new names. So far they don't seem to mind, even though sometimes I have to ask them if they are a 3rd floor Matt or a 2nd floor Matt. At any rate, they are all very sweet and seem to be settling in happily.
The basement renovation has officially begun. It is amazing how setting out to do one project has a massive domino effect.
Today's example: HVAC. This old girl still has the original steam radiator heating system, and the "as many window units as the electrical system can handle" AC system. But one of the things my poor Charming Suitor gave up when I made him leave his darling bungalow to move into my Castle was a forced air heat and central air system. Ouch. So our first order of business and the very first project we wanted to undertake as owners was upgrading the building to a brand new HVAC system. On the surface, you would think this would not be a big deal. We knew that the chase would be in a series of identical closets we have stacked up on each floor. The new mechanicals would go in the basement essentially where the current massive scary boiler lives. We would run the ductwork for the upstairs units visible in their ceilings, and the ductwork for the basement and first floor right down the hallway in the basement, feeding up into our apartment and down into the basement. Easy peasy.
Except for that sneaky domino thing.
In order to install the new furnaces, you have to do demo on the ENTIRE BASEMENT, because otherwise you spend a freaking fortune on new furnaces that you then clog and damage with demolition dust. Okay, so you schedule the demo.
This then requires that you actually go through the 20 years of crap that has been accumulating in your basement and send what you want to keep to storage, and figure out what can just go away. The entire Anne Rice Oeuvre in mass market paperback, complete with brittle wavy pages from bathtub reading, for example. Three days of digging through old boxes of tax receipts from the early 1990's and both of our previous marriages. An entire duffel bag of concert security t-shirts from my days as a college roadie. Every book, CD, and DVD in the Western World that CS and I have apparently acquired. 25 collected years of 15 different cooking magazines. All the crap that sane people, who move 5-10 times in their 20s and 30s purge every time they move to a new place. Which I have never done because I haven't moved since I was 23.
We got it done, and are pleased with the results. A good 50% was purged, either given away, recycled or just junked. 45% got packed up in a somewhat organized fashion and headed off to storage, where we are unlikely to see it for the next couple of years. But it was the 5% we hadn't counted on.
The 5% of stuff that you keep in the basement because you don't need it often, but you do need it regularly.
Luggage and other travel gear. Basic tools for household repairs. The tubs and racks of off-season clothes. The Famous Christmas Tree. This is when you really commit to your project. Because this is when you realize that your dining room, formerly home to dinner parties and lovely celebrations is now officially the storage for the storage stuff that can't go to storage. This is when you tell friends and family that the dominos have knocked entertaining off the table, literally.
As I write this there are burly men in my basement making a huge racket and a 20 foot dumpster in the alley rapidly filling with crap, and frankly, for the moment? I love every bit of it.
In the meantime, I have a new recipe to share. It is from Food52.com, a site that if you aren't reading, you should. It is the perfect thing to have in your arsenal, for no other reason than it works in an emergency. People coming over? No eggs or milk in the house, and no time to go get any? Or your honey just called and is having a shitty day and you want something comforting to offer? This? Is that cake. Rich and moist and chocolaty, 45 minutes from start to finish, and 100% made of pantry staples.
It also happens to be naturally vegan, and can even be gluten-free if you use one of the cup-for-cup flour substitutes. It isn't overly sweet, especially if you don't frost it. It works as well for afternoon tea as it does for after a dinner party.
Emergency Chocolate CakeAdapted from Food52.comServes 6 to 8
1 ½ cup all-purpose flour1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa (I use Valrona or Hershey's Special Dark)1 teaspoon baking soda1 cup sugar½ teaspoon salt5 tablespoons neutral oil (like corn, canola, grapeseed or vegetable)1 cup cold water1 ½ teaspoon vanilla1 tablespoon cider or white vinegar1 t instant espresso powder (optional..but I love how coffee makes chocolate more chocolaty. You can also sub out cold coffee for 1/3 of the water.)Confectioners' sugar (optional, for dusting)
Heat the oven to 350° F.
Mix together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, sugar, espresso powder and salt. Sift. In a separate bowl, whisk together the water, oil, vanilla, and vinegar.
Whisk together the wet and dry mixtures. If lumpy, whisk until smooth, or pour through strainer in to a bowl and break up lumps, pressing them through.
Pour into a greased 9-inch round cake pan. Tap the edge of the pan against the edge of the counter, or drop from 6 inches to the floor several times to pop air bubbles. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the top springs back when pressed gently.
Cool before removing from the pan and dusting with confectioners' sugar, or frosting if desired.
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
October 1, 2013
"Pumpkin" vs. Pumpkin
Chickens, it is officially Fall and I am THRILLED. Fall is my favorite season. It means football, and falling leaves, and the disappearance of humidity related hair disasters. It means a return of sweaters and boots and cute jackets.
It means ticking down to Thanksgiving, which, as you all know, is my singular most important day of worship at the altar of home cookery. And for those of you who are new? You might want to pop over HERE and check it out.
Having said that, there is one thing about Fall that I don't particularly appreciate.
"Pumpkin Spice".
The minute the heat breaks and the first cool breeze wafts through, the world seems to lose its mind and everything on the planet is suddenly "Pumpkin Spice" flavored. Which, let us be clear, is almost never ACTUALLY flavored like pumpkin, but mostly flavored like spice. Not good spice. Not warming satisfying spice. Bottom of the stale spice drawer spice, mixed with sawdust.
I like spice. I like the autumnal heat of ground ginger, the kick of cinnamon, a touch of clove. The subtleness of mace, transformative nutmeg. And I like pumpkin. Not a huge fan of pumpkin pie, but the flavor of pumpkin I find very pleasing.
But I do not need everything I put in my mouth from September through December to taste like a Yankee Candle.
Local bakeries making moist pumpkin breads and tender pumpkin muffins and crumbly pumpkin scones? That contain actual pumpkin? Go forth with your deliciousness. Big corporations whose "food" is mostly made of multisyllabic chemicals? Give it up. That crap is disgusting. And yes, I am looking at you Pringles.
Seriously? Just no.
And if you combine the word Pumpkin with Coffee or Latte or Smoothie or any other beverage? GACK.
I know I am about to get a flood of pumpkin spice latte fanatics who wait all year to gorge themselves on a cup full of creamy potpourri, but I can take it. Bring your ire. I will always contend that your taste buds are broken. It won't make me love you any less.
But let me at least try to move you towards the light, may I?
Because pumpkin? REAL actual grown on a vine pumpkin? Can be very delicious. It can even be delicious with some fresh spices. It is the very essence of Fall. But it isn't a "flavoring".
For starters, I give you my famous Pumpkin Soup recipe. Anyone can do this, and the results are truly spectacular. It is a terrific first course for Thanksgiving, a fun mugful on Halloween, and the perfect way to begin a Fall dinner party.
Pumpkin Soup
2 1/2 lbs peeled cubed seeded pie pumpkin or butternut squash (I have used both with equal success)
2 large cans pumpkin puree (29.5 oz organic…not pumpkin pie filling!)3 boxes chicken stock or a gallon of homemade stock1 pt. heavy cream2 med. (or one large) yellow onions1 stick butterFresh ground nutmeg¼ t espelette pepper (ground or paste) (opt)s/p to taste
In a very large stock pot, sauté onions in butter till soft. Add fresh and canned squash or pumpkin. Put in enough chicken stock to cover by about 2 inches. If you want to make it vegetarian, use water. Cook over medium heat till very soft, about 35-45 minutes. Blend with immersion blender or in stand blender till very smooth. For extra velvety soup strain thru chinois or fine strainer. Add cream and season to taste with salt and pepper, espelette if you like and fresh nutmeg.
Freezes beautifully pre-cream, I often make a double batch and freeze half without the cream in it. Is also delish without the cream if you want to be healthier J
Toppings:
½ c heavy cream, whipped 8-10 amarretti cookies, crumbled
Blend together and scoop on top of soup.
Have also topped with:
Crushed gingersnapsCrème fraiche mixed with crystallized gingerCandied orange zestToasted gingerbread croutonsHerbed Popcorn
Whipped cream blended with cranberry sauceCrouton with melted asiago cheese
Fried sage leaves
Not convinced yet? How about this:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled1/4 cup dark brown sugar1/2 cup granulated sugar1 teaspoon vanilla extract1 large egg6 Tablespoons pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour1/4 teaspoon salt1/4 teaspoon baking powder1/4 teaspoon baking soda1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg1/4 teaspoon ground cloves1/4 teaspoon ground ginger1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper1/2 cup (90 grams) dark chocolate chips or chunks tossed with 1 T flour to coat
Cream melted butter with the sugars until smooth. Whisk in the vanilla and pumpkin and egg until smooth. Set aside.
In a large bowl whisk all of the dry ingredients and spices together. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix together with a large spoon or rubber spatula. The dough will be very soft. Fold in chocolate chips until well dispersed. Cover the dough and chill for at least 3 hours, or up to 3 days.
Take the dough out of the refrigerator. Preheat the oven to 350F degrees. Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats.
Scoop 2 Tablespoons of dough for each cookie, roll into a ball between your hands (grease your hands if you like). Flatten the dough balls because the cookies will only slightly spread in the oven. Bake the cookies for 8-10 minutes. They will look slightly underbaked at this stage, but as long as the chips look melted and there is a crispy outside, they should be finished, and you want them chewy. As soon as you take the pan out of the oven, give it a sharp whack on the counter which will help flatten the cookies even more. Allow the cookies to cool for at least 10 minutes on the cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack. Cool at least 30 minutes to an hour before eating.
Anyone else have any favorite pumpkin recipes to share?
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
It means ticking down to Thanksgiving, which, as you all know, is my singular most important day of worship at the altar of home cookery. And for those of you who are new? You might want to pop over HERE and check it out.
Having said that, there is one thing about Fall that I don't particularly appreciate.
"Pumpkin Spice".
The minute the heat breaks and the first cool breeze wafts through, the world seems to lose its mind and everything on the planet is suddenly "Pumpkin Spice" flavored. Which, let us be clear, is almost never ACTUALLY flavored like pumpkin, but mostly flavored like spice. Not good spice. Not warming satisfying spice. Bottom of the stale spice drawer spice, mixed with sawdust.
I like spice. I like the autumnal heat of ground ginger, the kick of cinnamon, a touch of clove. The subtleness of mace, transformative nutmeg. And I like pumpkin. Not a huge fan of pumpkin pie, but the flavor of pumpkin I find very pleasing.
But I do not need everything I put in my mouth from September through December to taste like a Yankee Candle.
Local bakeries making moist pumpkin breads and tender pumpkin muffins and crumbly pumpkin scones? That contain actual pumpkin? Go forth with your deliciousness. Big corporations whose "food" is mostly made of multisyllabic chemicals? Give it up. That crap is disgusting. And yes, I am looking at you Pringles.
Seriously? Just no.And if you combine the word Pumpkin with Coffee or Latte or Smoothie or any other beverage? GACK.
I know I am about to get a flood of pumpkin spice latte fanatics who wait all year to gorge themselves on a cup full of creamy potpourri, but I can take it. Bring your ire. I will always contend that your taste buds are broken. It won't make me love you any less.
But let me at least try to move you towards the light, may I?
Because pumpkin? REAL actual grown on a vine pumpkin? Can be very delicious. It can even be delicious with some fresh spices. It is the very essence of Fall. But it isn't a "flavoring".
For starters, I give you my famous Pumpkin Soup recipe. Anyone can do this, and the results are truly spectacular. It is a terrific first course for Thanksgiving, a fun mugful on Halloween, and the perfect way to begin a Fall dinner party.
Pumpkin Soup
2 1/2 lbs peeled cubed seeded pie pumpkin or butternut squash (I have used both with equal success)
2 large cans pumpkin puree (29.5 oz organic…not pumpkin pie filling!)3 boxes chicken stock or a gallon of homemade stock1 pt. heavy cream2 med. (or one large) yellow onions1 stick butterFresh ground nutmeg¼ t espelette pepper (ground or paste) (opt)s/p to taste
In a very large stock pot, sauté onions in butter till soft. Add fresh and canned squash or pumpkin. Put in enough chicken stock to cover by about 2 inches. If you want to make it vegetarian, use water. Cook over medium heat till very soft, about 35-45 minutes. Blend with immersion blender or in stand blender till very smooth. For extra velvety soup strain thru chinois or fine strainer. Add cream and season to taste with salt and pepper, espelette if you like and fresh nutmeg.
Freezes beautifully pre-cream, I often make a double batch and freeze half without the cream in it. Is also delish without the cream if you want to be healthier J
Toppings:
½ c heavy cream, whipped 8-10 amarretti cookies, crumbled
Blend together and scoop on top of soup.
Have also topped with:
Crushed gingersnapsCrème fraiche mixed with crystallized gingerCandied orange zestToasted gingerbread croutonsHerbed Popcorn
Whipped cream blended with cranberry sauceCrouton with melted asiago cheese
Fried sage leaves
Not convinced yet? How about this:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled1/4 cup dark brown sugar1/2 cup granulated sugar1 teaspoon vanilla extract1 large egg6 Tablespoons pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour1/4 teaspoon salt1/4 teaspoon baking powder1/4 teaspoon baking soda1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg1/4 teaspoon ground cloves1/4 teaspoon ground ginger1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper1/2 cup (90 grams) dark chocolate chips or chunks tossed with 1 T flour to coat
Cream melted butter with the sugars until smooth. Whisk in the vanilla and pumpkin and egg until smooth. Set aside.
In a large bowl whisk all of the dry ingredients and spices together. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix together with a large spoon or rubber spatula. The dough will be very soft. Fold in chocolate chips until well dispersed. Cover the dough and chill for at least 3 hours, or up to 3 days.
Take the dough out of the refrigerator. Preheat the oven to 350F degrees. Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats.
Scoop 2 Tablespoons of dough for each cookie, roll into a ball between your hands (grease your hands if you like). Flatten the dough balls because the cookies will only slightly spread in the oven. Bake the cookies for 8-10 minutes. They will look slightly underbaked at this stage, but as long as the chips look melted and there is a crispy outside, they should be finished, and you want them chewy. As soon as you take the pan out of the oven, give it a sharp whack on the counter which will help flatten the cookies even more. Allow the cookies to cool for at least 10 minutes on the cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack. Cool at least 30 minutes to an hour before eating.
Anyone else have any favorite pumpkin recipes to share?
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
September 24, 2013
True Love
Falling in love is amazing. Exhilarating, terrifying, wonderful, heartbreaking, soul satisfying. Falling in love with a person is the single best thing you can do. My life is proof of that, and I think my Charming Suitor would agree. Slightly more fraught with peril is falling in love with a house.
20 years ago I stepped foot in my house for the first time. And it was love at first sight.
The place made me giddy. And a little stupid. Like love does. But one thing was clear to me, this was HOME. In a visceral, important, change your life kind of way. I made a very bold statement for a 23 year old.
“I am going to live here FOREVER.”
This made an enormous amount of sense in that moment. The building was a classic Chicago three-flat, a towering mini-castle of gray limestone, with fabulous architectural details. The apartment was huge, nearly 3000 square feet, with all hardwood floors and ten foot ceilings and extraordinary original woodwork, including a massive china hutch in the dining room and a stunning built-in butler’s pantry.
Of course it also had a horrific bathroom full of scary 1970’s tile and formica and a tiny corner tub in which I can soak only 2 1/2 feet of my 5'3" self, a kitchen with country-crap tiles and yellow brick linoleum flooring, and the first “quarter bath” I had ever seen…effectively a toilet in a closet with no sink.
But all I saw was the curved wavy glass in the windows in the turret, and the dining room that screamed for big dinner parties, and my 23 year old self fell instantly, really hard, in the kind of deep love that changes your molecules.
The day I moved in I made my landlord promise to sell me the building someday. He winked, shook my hand, and I’m sure dismissed me as a kid who was just over-excited to start playing house.
But I?
Was. Not. Playing.
I hunkered down and patently refused to move. Through four jobs, one first husband, three hair colors, three cars. I stayed put. I turned 25, 30, 35, 40. My family, all of them in the real estate business, got twitchy. Renting for that long seemed a waste of money, not building any equity, not having any security. Especially since, beyond that one handshake and some casual conversation, my “right of first refusal” was neither legal nor binding. My friends bought condos, then townhomes, then starter houses then dream houses. I didn’t budge.
The second time I truly fell in love, in that “I am HOME NOW.” forever way, was when I met my Charming Suitor. He? In addition to being practically perfect in every single way? Owned a home. A very lovely home. A perfectly delightful bungalow with classic 1920's details, and central air, and a garage, and a gorgeous backyard with peonies and herbs and lettuces, a massive attic and laundry and a screened in sun porch. In an idyllic neighborhood. But it wasn’t my castle. And in a gesture that goes well above and beyond the call, and one of the single loveliest things anyone has ever done for me, my one and only? RENTED OUT HIS HOUSE AND MOVED IN WITH ME.
Oh yeah. He’s that kind of rockstar.
This is a man who had not rented in over two DECADES. He is an equity/security/future thinking kind of guy. But he knew what my place meant to me, and how much I had invested emotionally in these stone walls. So once we were settled into wedded bliss, I reached out to my landlord and told him that it was just time. It had been 20 years, and it was time to have something more secure than that handshake. And lucky for us, he agreed. This past Spring, my second biggest dream came true, we bought the building.
Now, over the years I have had many fantasies for this place. New bathrooms, new kitchen. Finishing the basement. Refurbishing the built-ins. Getting a bedroom that can accommodate a king sized bed. A normal sized tub. A WALK IN CLOSET. Sigh.
The biggest dream? The over-the-top, have to win the lottery, completely ridiculous, could never really happen dream?
To convert the whole thing into a single-family home.
This? Is an insane idea. It’s an enormous building. Not big, not large, not expansive, HUMONGOUS. No one needs this much space, except maybe those creepy people with the 47 kids and grandkids and the 1984 haircuts. Certainly a couple with no kids and no pets and no intention for either do not need to rattle around in some massive monolith.
But I? Am an insane person, which most of you already know. And my CS? Still thankfully doesn't seem annoyed when I splatter my crazy in his direction.
Also? Being a landlord? Sucks rocks. We are two middle-aged people who are set in our ways and like our life. We do not want to be on vacation and get a phone call about someone’s clogged toilet or broken dishwasher. We do not want the endless hassles of having to find new tenants every couple of years, with the showings and credit checks and re-painting. Plus, we live here. On the first floor. For the first 19 years, my upstairs neighbor consisted of a single septuagenarian (and then octogenarian) of impeccable style and fantastically light tread. We never heard her. We had tea, and shared secrets, and showed off treasures, and traded books. But she was stealth neighbor. Not. A. Peep.
Then she had to move out, and was replaced by Mr. and Mrs. Elephant Stomper. We aren’t really sure what the heck they were doing up there, particularly after midnight, but whatever it was, I believe they did it in lead clogs and Dr. Scholl’s wooden mules. It sounded like at least three times a week they moved every piece of furniture from one room to another. At one in the morning. And they couldn’t figure out how to open the basement door from the outside, so every time they blew a fuse (read: often, Mrs. Blow Dry My Hair While Microwaving), we got a call to come let them in.
Every time we heard them banging around, or found another lighter on our back porch that they had dropped thru the cracks of their porch while smoking outside, CS and I would look at each other and say “This? Is why we don’t want to be landlords.”
So we looked at the building, and talked to an architect and a contractor and came to a decision that probably only makes sense to us.
We are converting this bitch to single family and are going to rattle around in our ridiculous massive monolith like the completely insane people we are.
It is going to be crazy-making. It is going to be expensive. It is going to be long and maddening and exciting and horrible and wonderful. It is going to test the boundaries of our sanity, and reason, occasionally of reality, and possibly physics.
And you? Get to come along for the ride.
Buckle up, Chickens. We anticipate turbulence.
In the meantime, if you aren’t reading it already, do check out my favorite new blog:
http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/
Victoria and her own Charming Suitor are living in and renovating an 1890 Victorian home, with all of the passion, humor, suspension of disbelief, and abundance that one expects of those of us who undertake such projects. Her writing is honest and fearless and hilarious. She may very well be my spirit animal. Be sure to go back and read all of the archives, you won’t be disappointed, you will be ADDICTED.
And stay tuned, there will still be recipes and rants and other treats popping up here, never fear!
Yours in Good Taste, and Questionable Sanity,
The Polymath
20 years ago I stepped foot in my house for the first time. And it was love at first sight.
The place made me giddy. And a little stupid. Like love does. But one thing was clear to me, this was HOME. In a visceral, important, change your life kind of way. I made a very bold statement for a 23 year old.
“I am going to live here FOREVER.”
This made an enormous amount of sense in that moment. The building was a classic Chicago three-flat, a towering mini-castle of gray limestone, with fabulous architectural details. The apartment was huge, nearly 3000 square feet, with all hardwood floors and ten foot ceilings and extraordinary original woodwork, including a massive china hutch in the dining room and a stunning built-in butler’s pantry.
Of course it also had a horrific bathroom full of scary 1970’s tile and formica and a tiny corner tub in which I can soak only 2 1/2 feet of my 5'3" self, a kitchen with country-crap tiles and yellow brick linoleum flooring, and the first “quarter bath” I had ever seen…effectively a toilet in a closet with no sink.
But all I saw was the curved wavy glass in the windows in the turret, and the dining room that screamed for big dinner parties, and my 23 year old self fell instantly, really hard, in the kind of deep love that changes your molecules.
The day I moved in I made my landlord promise to sell me the building someday. He winked, shook my hand, and I’m sure dismissed me as a kid who was just over-excited to start playing house.
But I?
Was. Not. Playing.
I hunkered down and patently refused to move. Through four jobs, one first husband, three hair colors, three cars. I stayed put. I turned 25, 30, 35, 40. My family, all of them in the real estate business, got twitchy. Renting for that long seemed a waste of money, not building any equity, not having any security. Especially since, beyond that one handshake and some casual conversation, my “right of first refusal” was neither legal nor binding. My friends bought condos, then townhomes, then starter houses then dream houses. I didn’t budge.
The second time I truly fell in love, in that “I am HOME NOW.” forever way, was when I met my Charming Suitor. He? In addition to being practically perfect in every single way? Owned a home. A very lovely home. A perfectly delightful bungalow with classic 1920's details, and central air, and a garage, and a gorgeous backyard with peonies and herbs and lettuces, a massive attic and laundry and a screened in sun porch. In an idyllic neighborhood. But it wasn’t my castle. And in a gesture that goes well above and beyond the call, and one of the single loveliest things anyone has ever done for me, my one and only? RENTED OUT HIS HOUSE AND MOVED IN WITH ME.
Oh yeah. He’s that kind of rockstar.
This is a man who had not rented in over two DECADES. He is an equity/security/future thinking kind of guy. But he knew what my place meant to me, and how much I had invested emotionally in these stone walls. So once we were settled into wedded bliss, I reached out to my landlord and told him that it was just time. It had been 20 years, and it was time to have something more secure than that handshake. And lucky for us, he agreed. This past Spring, my second biggest dream came true, we bought the building.
Now, over the years I have had many fantasies for this place. New bathrooms, new kitchen. Finishing the basement. Refurbishing the built-ins. Getting a bedroom that can accommodate a king sized bed. A normal sized tub. A WALK IN CLOSET. Sigh.
The biggest dream? The over-the-top, have to win the lottery, completely ridiculous, could never really happen dream?
To convert the whole thing into a single-family home.
This? Is an insane idea. It’s an enormous building. Not big, not large, not expansive, HUMONGOUS. No one needs this much space, except maybe those creepy people with the 47 kids and grandkids and the 1984 haircuts. Certainly a couple with no kids and no pets and no intention for either do not need to rattle around in some massive monolith.
But I? Am an insane person, which most of you already know. And my CS? Still thankfully doesn't seem annoyed when I splatter my crazy in his direction.
Also? Being a landlord? Sucks rocks. We are two middle-aged people who are set in our ways and like our life. We do not want to be on vacation and get a phone call about someone’s clogged toilet or broken dishwasher. We do not want the endless hassles of having to find new tenants every couple of years, with the showings and credit checks and re-painting. Plus, we live here. On the first floor. For the first 19 years, my upstairs neighbor consisted of a single septuagenarian (and then octogenarian) of impeccable style and fantastically light tread. We never heard her. We had tea, and shared secrets, and showed off treasures, and traded books. But she was stealth neighbor. Not. A. Peep.
Then she had to move out, and was replaced by Mr. and Mrs. Elephant Stomper. We aren’t really sure what the heck they were doing up there, particularly after midnight, but whatever it was, I believe they did it in lead clogs and Dr. Scholl’s wooden mules. It sounded like at least three times a week they moved every piece of furniture from one room to another. At one in the morning. And they couldn’t figure out how to open the basement door from the outside, so every time they blew a fuse (read: often, Mrs. Blow Dry My Hair While Microwaving), we got a call to come let them in.
Every time we heard them banging around, or found another lighter on our back porch that they had dropped thru the cracks of their porch while smoking outside, CS and I would look at each other and say “This? Is why we don’t want to be landlords.”
So we looked at the building, and talked to an architect and a contractor and came to a decision that probably only makes sense to us.
We are converting this bitch to single family and are going to rattle around in our ridiculous massive monolith like the completely insane people we are.
It is going to be crazy-making. It is going to be expensive. It is going to be long and maddening and exciting and horrible and wonderful. It is going to test the boundaries of our sanity, and reason, occasionally of reality, and possibly physics.
And you? Get to come along for the ride.
Buckle up, Chickens. We anticipate turbulence.
In the meantime, if you aren’t reading it already, do check out my favorite new blog:
http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/
Victoria and her own Charming Suitor are living in and renovating an 1890 Victorian home, with all of the passion, humor, suspension of disbelief, and abundance that one expects of those of us who undertake such projects. Her writing is honest and fearless and hilarious. She may very well be my spirit animal. Be sure to go back and read all of the archives, you won’t be disappointed, you will be ADDICTED.
And stay tuned, there will still be recipes and rants and other treats popping up here, never fear!
Yours in Good Taste, and Questionable Sanity,
The Polymath
July 18, 2013
One Sauce to Rule Them All
Tis the season for meats and birds and sea creatures and veggies on the grill. Quick weeknight dinners and weekend barbecues with pals. And this? Right here? Is the one sauce you need to get you through.
In some ways it is a classic chimichurri, plenty of parsley and garlic and chili flakes, rich extra virgin olive oil blended into a thick paste that is the perfect accompaniment to anything you pull off the coals.
On the other hand, I have tamed some of the traditional "heavy on the garlic" blends for my own palate, which craves the brightness of lemon, the mild onion undertone of chives, and the mellow balance of fresh oregano.
You can adjust based on what you have, what you like, and how you plan to use it. Working with seafood? Bump up the lemon. Lamb? Swap out the oregano for thyme or rosemary. Veggies? Change out the oregano for basil, smooth it with more oil or stir in some yogurt.
It is insanely versatile, and once you get the basics down, you can play with it all summer long.
Tonight it will get slathered on some perfect medium rare skirt steaks, along with some white beans with tomatoes and sautéed Tuscan kale. A perfect quick summer dinner with pals.
What is a go-to recipe for your summer dining?
Chimichurri
3 bunches flat leaf parsley, stems discarded½ c loosely packed fresh oregano or marjoram leaves½ c coarsely chopped chives¼ c distilled white vinegarzest of one lemon2 T lemon juice3 cloves garlic1 T Kosher salt1 t freshly ground black pepper¾ teaspoon dried red pepper flakes1 c extra virgin olive oil
Put all ingredients in a blender or food processor.
How do I love thee Vitamix, let me count the ways....
Pulse until the leaves have broken down and it starts to resemble a paste. Then turn on high and blend until you have a smooth puree.
Isn't it insane how that full bowl pureed down to so little? But so much flavor!
Store in fridge with plastic wrap touching the surface to prevent browning. Best made the day before for flavors to blend, taste for salt and pepper before serving.
Wonderful on grilled meats and vegetables. Blend a couple of tablespoons with more vinegar and oil for a salad dressing, or with sour cream for dip. Use as a marinade. A great appetizer is to grill hearty bread, spread with the chimichurri while still hot, then add sliced fresh mozzarella and summer tomatoes.
Makes about 2 cups
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
In some ways it is a classic chimichurri, plenty of parsley and garlic and chili flakes, rich extra virgin olive oil blended into a thick paste that is the perfect accompaniment to anything you pull off the coals.
On the other hand, I have tamed some of the traditional "heavy on the garlic" blends for my own palate, which craves the brightness of lemon, the mild onion undertone of chives, and the mellow balance of fresh oregano.
You can adjust based on what you have, what you like, and how you plan to use it. Working with seafood? Bump up the lemon. Lamb? Swap out the oregano for thyme or rosemary. Veggies? Change out the oregano for basil, smooth it with more oil or stir in some yogurt.
It is insanely versatile, and once you get the basics down, you can play with it all summer long.
Tonight it will get slathered on some perfect medium rare skirt steaks, along with some white beans with tomatoes and sautéed Tuscan kale. A perfect quick summer dinner with pals.
What is a go-to recipe for your summer dining?
Chimichurri
3 bunches flat leaf parsley, stems discarded½ c loosely packed fresh oregano or marjoram leaves½ c coarsely chopped chives¼ c distilled white vinegarzest of one lemon2 T lemon juice3 cloves garlic1 T Kosher salt1 t freshly ground black pepper¾ teaspoon dried red pepper flakes1 c extra virgin olive oil
Put all ingredients in a blender or food processor.
How do I love thee Vitamix, let me count the ways....Pulse until the leaves have broken down and it starts to resemble a paste. Then turn on high and blend until you have a smooth puree.
Isn't it insane how that full bowl pureed down to so little? But so much flavor!Store in fridge with plastic wrap touching the surface to prevent browning. Best made the day before for flavors to blend, taste for salt and pepper before serving.
Wonderful on grilled meats and vegetables. Blend a couple of tablespoons with more vinegar and oil for a salad dressing, or with sour cream for dip. Use as a marinade. A great appetizer is to grill hearty bread, spread with the chimichurri while still hot, then add sliced fresh mozzarella and summer tomatoes.
Makes about 2 cups
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
July 10, 2013
Easiest. Pasta. Ever.
Chickens-
Did you ever avoid something because it seemed doomed to failure? Even though the whole world is touting it's genius? In fact, you avoid it BECAUSE the whole world is touting it's genius?
I am not a "go with the masses" kind of girl. Often I look at the masses and think that the future of the human race is tentative at best, and add it as number 472 on my list of why I am delighted to be childless. I'm not a crowdsource kind of girl. Mostly because I don't really like crowds. I like small dinner parties, and quiet bars where I can get a seat and hear the people I am with, and large festivals of any kind make me cringe.
I don't go to Yelp to recommend places to me, I go to my friends. Family. People I trust. Because the unsolicited opinions of hundreds of twenty-somethings don't hold any water with me. Especially since we all know that a significant number of the positive reviews are from friends and family of the proprietor and the same number of negative ones are from the friends and family of the competition.
The more everyone talks about how AMAZING something is, the more skeptical I get. I have not yet made Jim Lahey's No Knead Bread. I know, I know, since 2008 every cook worth their salt has made this loaf, adapted it, made a gluten free version, I just haven't done it. Partially because I'm not that into bread baking, finding that the best bread I can make from scratch doesn't come close to the perfection of at least seven nearby bakeries, and therefore seems a waste of time. Partially because we are low-carb around here, by medical necessity and not choice, and if the bread is disappointing we will be pissed we wasted carbs on it, and if it is amazing, it will be a horrible temptation.
So you can imagine my reluctance when everyone on the interwebs started going insane for Martha Stewart's One-Pan Pasta recipe. "It only takes ten minutes!" "It is creamy and delicious!" "Best pasta I have ever made!" Hmmm. Piffle. I doubted it. For many reasons.
One? While I have some appreciation for Martha, with misgivings, I am not my bestie Jen, whose Martha-inspired life changing year is documented hilariously in her latest The Tao Of Martha, which, if you have not yet read, I highly recommend and not just because I make a cameo appearance or two. But I have found over the years that many of her recipes, um, don't work that well. They need tweaking and changing at a level that means I might as well have started from scratch and made up my own. When they work, they are great. But seven times out of ten? Meh.
Two? See above re: No Knead Bread. We eat pasta about only once or twice a month. It is our special treat and we take it seriously. Wasting a precious pasta night on something doomed to mediocrity? A crime.
Three? Pasta in its usual format isn't that hard. Not every sauce takes three days. I can usually pull together a scrumptious homemade sauce in the ten minutes it takes for the pasta to cook. Granted, it takes two pots instead of one, but that is why the good lord invented the dishwasher.
However, sometimes, your Polymath is wrong. And boy was I wrong on this one. This pasta? Is everything that the world said it is. Easy, fast, DELICIOUS. And while I did tweak the recipe the tiniest bit, you can actually have complete success with the original. Point for Martha.
I didn't even plan to make it. We have a spectacular farmer's market in our neighborhood every Sunday. We love it. About half terrific purveyors of fabulous ingredients, and half people preparing yummy to eat on the spot. Carne asada tacos. Apple cider zeppole. Grilled cheese, traditional British banger sandwiches, porchetta...we go, have a moveable brunch, pick up some flowers and produce, and head home. Pretty perfect. So when they announced they were starting a weekly night market on Wednesdays we were stoked! Especially since we are often out of town on Sunday mornings and miss the market. We made plans to walk over the first night, excited to eat dinner there and grab some goodies for the week. And we have hopes that someday that will be possible. As it was, that first night, we discovered a booth playing Shakespeare, three places to sign petitions or donate to local charities, two places to buy baked goods, one place to buy frozen sausage, and one tiny stand with produce. Mostly kale. It took us longer to walk there than to walk the market and we left within 4 minutes, starving and disappointed. And then I remembered the pasta recipe. We always have tomatoes and basil around in the summer. And onion isn't hard to come by. Loads of pasta in the pantry. And if it worked, we'd have dinner faster than if we ordered something in. So I gave it a shot.
And it worked like a dream. Charming Suitor loved it and demanded that we put it in regular rotation for our rare pasta nights. I was truly blown away by the results, and made mental apologies to the masses for snarkily assuming they were idiots.
I left out the garlic in my recipe because I think the flavor gets a little insipid, and I wanted the other flavors to shine. In winter, I might add it back in. I also found that depending on your brand of pasta, local humidity etc. you may need to adjust the water. I used Barilla the first time and the water was perfect. But I used DeCecco the second time and needed more. This is easy to do on the fly, so no worries. I upped the tomato quotient a bit since they are in season and amazing, so I wanted more tomato flavor to balance the onion. You can see the original recipe through the link above, and I encourage you to try both her way and mine and enjoy the equally lovely results.
I'm still waffling on the No Knead Bread thing, though.
One Pot PastaAdapted from Martha Stewart
12 oz linguine16 oz cherry or grape tomatoes, halved or quartered1 medium onion, thinly slicedTwo cloves garlic, sliced thinly (optional, I leave it out)½ t red pepper flakes (you can omit if you don't want any heat or add more if you like things spicy)2 sprigs basil2 T olive oil4 ½ c water (may need more)
salt and pepper to taste
Grated parmesan, chopped fresh basil, and extra virgin olive oil to garnish.
In large straight-sided skillet, combine all ingredients and bring to boil over high heat.
Boil, stirring frequently with tongs until pasta is al dente and water has nearly evaporated. If you taste for al dente and it isn’t there, but the liquid is almost gone, just add a little more water, maybe a half a cup and keep going. The dish is done when the pasta is cooked and the sauce has reduced so that the dish is not soupy, but not completely dry.
Remove basil sprigs and discard. Season to taste with salt and pepper, garnish with grated parm, torn fresh basil and a drizzle of oil.
Serves 4
Did you ever avoid something because it seemed doomed to failure? Even though the whole world is touting it's genius? In fact, you avoid it BECAUSE the whole world is touting it's genius?
I am not a "go with the masses" kind of girl. Often I look at the masses and think that the future of the human race is tentative at best, and add it as number 472 on my list of why I am delighted to be childless. I'm not a crowdsource kind of girl. Mostly because I don't really like crowds. I like small dinner parties, and quiet bars where I can get a seat and hear the people I am with, and large festivals of any kind make me cringe.
I don't go to Yelp to recommend places to me, I go to my friends. Family. People I trust. Because the unsolicited opinions of hundreds of twenty-somethings don't hold any water with me. Especially since we all know that a significant number of the positive reviews are from friends and family of the proprietor and the same number of negative ones are from the friends and family of the competition.
The more everyone talks about how AMAZING something is, the more skeptical I get. I have not yet made Jim Lahey's No Knead Bread. I know, I know, since 2008 every cook worth their salt has made this loaf, adapted it, made a gluten free version, I just haven't done it. Partially because I'm not that into bread baking, finding that the best bread I can make from scratch doesn't come close to the perfection of at least seven nearby bakeries, and therefore seems a waste of time. Partially because we are low-carb around here, by medical necessity and not choice, and if the bread is disappointing we will be pissed we wasted carbs on it, and if it is amazing, it will be a horrible temptation.
So you can imagine my reluctance when everyone on the interwebs started going insane for Martha Stewart's One-Pan Pasta recipe. "It only takes ten minutes!" "It is creamy and delicious!" "Best pasta I have ever made!" Hmmm. Piffle. I doubted it. For many reasons.
One? While I have some appreciation for Martha, with misgivings, I am not my bestie Jen, whose Martha-inspired life changing year is documented hilariously in her latest The Tao Of Martha, which, if you have not yet read, I highly recommend and not just because I make a cameo appearance or two. But I have found over the years that many of her recipes, um, don't work that well. They need tweaking and changing at a level that means I might as well have started from scratch and made up my own. When they work, they are great. But seven times out of ten? Meh.
Two? See above re: No Knead Bread. We eat pasta about only once or twice a month. It is our special treat and we take it seriously. Wasting a precious pasta night on something doomed to mediocrity? A crime.
Three? Pasta in its usual format isn't that hard. Not every sauce takes three days. I can usually pull together a scrumptious homemade sauce in the ten minutes it takes for the pasta to cook. Granted, it takes two pots instead of one, but that is why the good lord invented the dishwasher.
However, sometimes, your Polymath is wrong. And boy was I wrong on this one. This pasta? Is everything that the world said it is. Easy, fast, DELICIOUS. And while I did tweak the recipe the tiniest bit, you can actually have complete success with the original. Point for Martha.
I didn't even plan to make it. We have a spectacular farmer's market in our neighborhood every Sunday. We love it. About half terrific purveyors of fabulous ingredients, and half people preparing yummy to eat on the spot. Carne asada tacos. Apple cider zeppole. Grilled cheese, traditional British banger sandwiches, porchetta...we go, have a moveable brunch, pick up some flowers and produce, and head home. Pretty perfect. So when they announced they were starting a weekly night market on Wednesdays we were stoked! Especially since we are often out of town on Sunday mornings and miss the market. We made plans to walk over the first night, excited to eat dinner there and grab some goodies for the week. And we have hopes that someday that will be possible. As it was, that first night, we discovered a booth playing Shakespeare, three places to sign petitions or donate to local charities, two places to buy baked goods, one place to buy frozen sausage, and one tiny stand with produce. Mostly kale. It took us longer to walk there than to walk the market and we left within 4 minutes, starving and disappointed. And then I remembered the pasta recipe. We always have tomatoes and basil around in the summer. And onion isn't hard to come by. Loads of pasta in the pantry. And if it worked, we'd have dinner faster than if we ordered something in. So I gave it a shot.
And it worked like a dream. Charming Suitor loved it and demanded that we put it in regular rotation for our rare pasta nights. I was truly blown away by the results, and made mental apologies to the masses for snarkily assuming they were idiots.
I left out the garlic in my recipe because I think the flavor gets a little insipid, and I wanted the other flavors to shine. In winter, I might add it back in. I also found that depending on your brand of pasta, local humidity etc. you may need to adjust the water. I used Barilla the first time and the water was perfect. But I used DeCecco the second time and needed more. This is easy to do on the fly, so no worries. I upped the tomato quotient a bit since they are in season and amazing, so I wanted more tomato flavor to balance the onion. You can see the original recipe through the link above, and I encourage you to try both her way and mine and enjoy the equally lovely results.
I'm still waffling on the No Knead Bread thing, though.
One Pot PastaAdapted from Martha Stewart
12 oz linguine16 oz cherry or grape tomatoes, halved or quartered1 medium onion, thinly slicedTwo cloves garlic, sliced thinly (optional, I leave it out)½ t red pepper flakes (you can omit if you don't want any heat or add more if you like things spicy)2 sprigs basil2 T olive oil4 ½ c water (may need more)
salt and pepper to taste
Grated parmesan, chopped fresh basil, and extra virgin olive oil to garnish.
In large straight-sided skillet, combine all ingredients and bring to boil over high heat.
Boil, stirring frequently with tongs until pasta is al dente and water has nearly evaporated. If you taste for al dente and it isn’t there, but the liquid is almost gone, just add a little more water, maybe a half a cup and keep going. The dish is done when the pasta is cooked and the sauce has reduced so that the dish is not soupy, but not completely dry.
Remove basil sprigs and discard. Season to taste with salt and pepper, garnish with grated parm, torn fresh basil and a drizzle of oil.
Serves 4
June 3, 2013
Stay Tuned
Hello Chickens! Hope your summer is gearing up to be a good one. Wanted to let you know that I am taking a short break to finish the edits on my new book, OUT TO LUNCH, which will be coming to your favorite bookseller this coming December.
Isn't this cover the cutest????
Anyhoo, since you will like it so much better if the narrative flows and there aren't spelling mistakes and the characters don't drone on too much, I am focusing all my energy on my edits and will be back when they are done. Have some fun summer giveaways and recipes to come, not to worry!
In the meantime, if you need something to read, you may have noticed that my bestie Jen Lancaster has a new one hitting the shelves this week. THE TAO OF MARTHAis her best one yet, (and yes, yours truly makes an appearance or two), all about her year of living by Martha Stewarts dictates.
Also pretty awesome cover, no????
Anyhoo, this fab summer read drops tomorrow, so if you order it today, you'll have it in a flash! And be sure to check out Jen's tour schedule, since she might be in a city near you.
Back to the grind, see you next week.
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
Isn't this cover the cutest????
Anyhoo, since you will like it so much better if the narrative flows and there aren't spelling mistakes and the characters don't drone on too much, I am focusing all my energy on my edits and will be back when they are done. Have some fun summer giveaways and recipes to come, not to worry!
In the meantime, if you need something to read, you may have noticed that my bestie Jen Lancaster has a new one hitting the shelves this week. THE TAO OF MARTHAis her best one yet, (and yes, yours truly makes an appearance or two), all about her year of living by Martha Stewarts dictates.
Also pretty awesome cover, no????
Anyhoo, this fab summer read drops tomorrow, so if you order it today, you'll have it in a flash! And be sure to check out Jen's tour schedule, since she might be in a city near you.
Back to the grind, see you next week.
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
May 15, 2013
Winners Announced
Congrats to Riann and Morningstar for winning the Oxo ice cream scoops! Please email me your shipping addresses to staceyballisinfo (at) gmail (dot) com and I will get them out to you. And thanks to everyone for sharing their guilty pleasure foods and movies, I feel like I have a new clan.
I'm now going to have a bagel with butter and sliced dill pickles. Out loud. Because my Chickens make me brave enough to Own. My. Crazy.
Stay tuned for more fun giveaways...
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
I'm now going to have a bagel with butter and sliced dill pickles. Out loud. Because my Chickens make me brave enough to Own. My. Crazy.
Stay tuned for more fun giveaways...
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
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