Stacey Ballis's Blog, page 10
May 27, 2014
Summer Lovin'
Oh, Chickens, is it officially summer where you are? Because Chicago skipped right over Spring, bringing us straight from May snow to May hot and muggy. Blergh.
But I am happy to report that while I am a bit sticky at the moment, help is coming.
Because, AIR CONDITIONING.
I may have mentioned before that Freon is my biggest vice. I don't just like my house cool in the summer swelter, I want to be able to hang meat in the bedroom. I keep my car temp on low and the fan on high from June through September. I worship at the feet of air conditioning.
Ironic that I have lived over 20 years in a home without central air, no?
For the past few years, every May my dear handyman Tony would arrive to schlep the five window units and their custom plywood window platforms up from the basement where I would clean off the gunk and rinse out the filters and he would get them into my windows with a complicated series of scraps of wood, and pieces of foam to fill in the gaps and racks. One 18,000 BTU commercial monster in the living room, and then normal ones in both bedrooms, the dining room and the kitchen. I would set all of them for 70 and leave them running nonstop day and night without ever turning them off until mid October. Then in late November, sure that no more random heatwaves would descend, Tony would return to undo the whole process. Complicated, annoying, deeply unattractive, but the apartment? Nice and cool from end to end.
But no more. Because tomorrow the HVAC guys come to install two enormous compressors to attach to our forced air system, and my contractor has promised me arctic chill by tomorrow night.
Which is good, because a couple more days of hot and muggy and just a little damp here at the old homestead, and I might be tempted to call Tony to go get the old gear out of storage and give a girl a little relief.
Keep your fingers crossed that by weeks end I can report back that we are having a polar vortex in my living room.
And while it is a day late, I do want to take a moment to publicly remember the servicemen and their families who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. I salute you all.
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
But I am happy to report that while I am a bit sticky at the moment, help is coming.
Because, AIR CONDITIONING.
I may have mentioned before that Freon is my biggest vice. I don't just like my house cool in the summer swelter, I want to be able to hang meat in the bedroom. I keep my car temp on low and the fan on high from June through September. I worship at the feet of air conditioning.
Ironic that I have lived over 20 years in a home without central air, no?
For the past few years, every May my dear handyman Tony would arrive to schlep the five window units and their custom plywood window platforms up from the basement where I would clean off the gunk and rinse out the filters and he would get them into my windows with a complicated series of scraps of wood, and pieces of foam to fill in the gaps and racks. One 18,000 BTU commercial monster in the living room, and then normal ones in both bedrooms, the dining room and the kitchen. I would set all of them for 70 and leave them running nonstop day and night without ever turning them off until mid October. Then in late November, sure that no more random heatwaves would descend, Tony would return to undo the whole process. Complicated, annoying, deeply unattractive, but the apartment? Nice and cool from end to end.
But no more. Because tomorrow the HVAC guys come to install two enormous compressors to attach to our forced air system, and my contractor has promised me arctic chill by tomorrow night.
Which is good, because a couple more days of hot and muggy and just a little damp here at the old homestead, and I might be tempted to call Tony to go get the old gear out of storage and give a girl a little relief.
Keep your fingers crossed that by weeks end I can report back that we are having a polar vortex in my living room.
And while it is a day late, I do want to take a moment to publicly remember the servicemen and their families who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. I salute you all.
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
May 15, 2014
Springing into Spring
Hello Chickens! Is it spring yet where you are? So far we haven't had any Spring. We did randomly have three days of summer, over 80 and humid as Hades, but now we are back in the 40s, and it is a lovely Fall.
The good news is that after diligently not touching or conversing with the plants Charming Suitor put in last summer, I managed to be near them and have them survive! There is something weirdly giddy-making about waking up and peeking out to see those shoots of green getting taller and unfurling their leaves. How I hate my Black Thumbs and my killing spirit that cannot keep a plant alive! But CS has the touch, which makes me dream of a not-too-distant future when he can fill tubs with herbs and other vegetation on the eventual deck. I? Will look and not touch. If the temperature ever manages to get above 60 we'll go pick a large colorful coleus and install it in the urn on the front porch and our agrarian impulses will be fulfilled for the season.
For those of you in the greater Chicagoland area, I hope you will save the date for a very special event.
Sunday June 22, 1 pm at City Winery the DREAM TEAM is getting together for Books and Bubbly!
Me, Jen Lancaster, Amy Hatvany, Sarah Pekkanen and Sarah Jio.
Oh yeah. Take that in for just a moment. Frankly, I keep pinching myself that I even get to ATTEND an event with these amazing women, let alone be on the panel.
Because these ladies? Rock my literary world. We will be chatting about anything and everything, with plenty of bubbles to go around. Tickets are only $5, and once they go on sale I will post a link. So tell your girlfriends and your book club and get it in the calendar in ink, and stay tuned for more details.
And in case you want to brush up on their latest books, which I cannot recommend strongly enough, here they are:
The latest from my BFF, and yes, I do make an occasional appearance....BUY HERE.
Loved this book so much I blurbed the crap out of it. BUY HERE.
Another page turner, the perfect thing for your upcoming long weekend or summer vacation. BUY HERE.
My other favorite Sarah, her latest is available for pre-order (May 27) but if you aren't up to date on her backlist, be sure to order her others as well. PRE-ORDER HERE.
And, you know, just in case you may not have gotten around to it...
BUY HERE.
Stay tuned for more renovation details next week...the big reveal of some flooring choices, why we love polished concrete, and why bold design choices are the name of the game.
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
The good news is that after diligently not touching or conversing with the plants Charming Suitor put in last summer, I managed to be near them and have them survive! There is something weirdly giddy-making about waking up and peeking out to see those shoots of green getting taller and unfurling their leaves. How I hate my Black Thumbs and my killing spirit that cannot keep a plant alive! But CS has the touch, which makes me dream of a not-too-distant future when he can fill tubs with herbs and other vegetation on the eventual deck. I? Will look and not touch. If the temperature ever manages to get above 60 we'll go pick a large colorful coleus and install it in the urn on the front porch and our agrarian impulses will be fulfilled for the season.
For those of you in the greater Chicagoland area, I hope you will save the date for a very special event.
Sunday June 22, 1 pm at City Winery the DREAM TEAM is getting together for Books and Bubbly!
Me, Jen Lancaster, Amy Hatvany, Sarah Pekkanen and Sarah Jio.
Oh yeah. Take that in for just a moment. Frankly, I keep pinching myself that I even get to ATTEND an event with these amazing women, let alone be on the panel.
Because these ladies? Rock my literary world. We will be chatting about anything and everything, with plenty of bubbles to go around. Tickets are only $5, and once they go on sale I will post a link. So tell your girlfriends and your book club and get it in the calendar in ink, and stay tuned for more details.
And in case you want to brush up on their latest books, which I cannot recommend strongly enough, here they are:
The latest from my BFF, and yes, I do make an occasional appearance....BUY HERE.
Loved this book so much I blurbed the crap out of it. BUY HERE.
Another page turner, the perfect thing for your upcoming long weekend or summer vacation. BUY HERE.
My other favorite Sarah, her latest is available for pre-order (May 27) but if you aren't up to date on her backlist, be sure to order her others as well. PRE-ORDER HERE.
And, you know, just in case you may not have gotten around to it...
BUY HERE.Stay tuned for more renovation details next week...the big reveal of some flooring choices, why we love polished concrete, and why bold design choices are the name of the game.
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
April 17, 2014
The Art of the Artichoke
Oh, Chickens, it is my favorite time of year. Artichokes are back.
I love artichokes more than is rational. I may, hypothetically, own 12 of these:
Yes, I am aware this makes me an insane person. Right up until I have a dinner party for 12 and serve everyone artichokes on artichoke plates and then I am a GENIUS.
Artichokes are magical to me. A large artichoke packs 9g of fiber, 5g of protein, no fat or cholesterol. It is high in Vitamin C and Magnesium, with some bonus Iron, Calcium, and B-12 hanging out in there. And best part? ONLY 75 calories for the whole thing!
Okay, thats not the best best part. The bestest best part is that they are freaking delicious. I literally cannot get enough of them, and from mid-April thru June, Charming Suitor and I gorge guiltlessly on these beauties.
Not kidding.
Yes, this is for two people.
I buy them 8 at a time. The first day I get them, I prep and steam them, and CS and I have two each for dinner. He will take one to work the next day for lunch, and I'll eat one at home for lunch. The other two are then available for a day or two for either lunches or snacking or to become an ingredient in something else. 8 artichokes last us about three to four days. And we do this routine once a week until the season is over. And then we miss them until the following Spring. These are the weeks that prove your love for someone, because do not mistake me, this is a lot of fiber and vegetation to put through your system, and they will, without fail, make you spectacularly gassy. You might potentially blow the love of your life out of the bed. But they will forgive you because artichokes are so yummy that it will not matter that you both become walking dirty bombs for eight weeks a year.
For those of you who think artichokes are complicated, they are not. I've had a lot of practice, so I can break one down in about 45 seconds to a minute, but once you know the technique, you can knock it out fast yourself. Don't be scared of the artichoke! It will reward you.
When buying them, look for ones that feel heavy for their size, have leaves that are nice and tight, and they should squeak a little when you squeeze them.
First thing, have a large cutting board, an 8 inch serrated knife (essential) and a lemon, cut in half. Do not do this with a straight edge knife, you need the serration for grippiness. Trust me, you'd like to keep all of your fingers. This is a great time to use that sad little mangy lemon in the bottom of the fruit bowl. The artichokes won't care. Hold the artichoke on its side, and slice off the stem flush with the bottom of the artichoke to make it fairly flat. Let chefs peel and fuss over the stems, as CS says, the juice isn't worth the squeeze on that, go for fast and easy instead. Once the stem is removed, use the knife on a slight angle to slice off the outer leaves and reveal the heart. Go all the way around the bottom of the artichoke, it will take about 6 slices to have the bottom totally peeled. Rub the cut side of half a lemon on the bottom. Then turn it back on its side and slice straight down about 2/3 up the side, removing all the spiny top parts of the leaves in one go. Rub the lemon on the cut ends of the leaves, and you will have a prepped artichoke!
I use a large steamer, but you can use a steamer basket in a stockpot, or a steamer insert. Place your artichokes bottoms up in your steamer, with about 2 inches of water in the pot.
You don't want to boil them or let them touch the water, or the leaves will soak it up and get waterlogged. Cover and steam over high heat for about 35-40 minutes. I test by poking a fork into the bottom of one, it should go in and out smoothly. I don't use a knife to test things like artichokes or potatoes because my knives are super sharp and may slip right into something that is actually not quite done yet. Forks are a much better indicator.
Aren't they just gorgeous? I take them off the heat and place them over a towel for about 15 minutes. Then I put the four we are having tonight on a plate with a piece of plastic wrap, they'll be terrific at room temp, and put the other four in the containers in the fridge for later indulging.
I know many people swear by drawn butter for dipping. And you know your Polymath is a big fan of butter. Mo' butter, mo' better. But not for artichokes. Artichokes are buttery on their own, much like avocados. They want a little acid and a little salt to make them shine. I make vats of a pungent thick vinaigrette that we use for dipping.
I use lemon juice, dijon mustard, shallot, capers, olive oil, salt and pepper to taste, maybe a pinch of sugar or a squirt of agave just to polish off the rough edges.
I don't measure, I just go by eye. This is the juice of 1 1/2 lemons, 2 heaping spoons of capers, a large glug or two of dijon mustard, and one chopped up shallot. Then I pour in about twice as much oil as I have stuff in the bottom, and use my immersion blender to whizz it all up. Taste for seasoning, adjust as necessary. I like this much more intense than I would make for salad dressing, you should do what you like. This is making a huge vat of it, because as I may have mentioned, we eat eleventy million artichokes a week, and this stuff lasts a couple of weeks in the fridge. You should feel free to make a rational amount if you choose. You don't need a lot, I only use about 1 tablespoon for a whole artichoke for dipping, you just want to gild the lily a bit.
For me, the first artichokes of the season are the only thing that really means Spring, and after this winter? Seeing them today almost made me tear up a bit.
What are the super seasonal things you wait all year for, and how do you prepare them?
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
I love artichokes more than is rational. I may, hypothetically, own 12 of these:
Yes, I am aware this makes me an insane person. Right up until I have a dinner party for 12 and serve everyone artichokes on artichoke plates and then I am a GENIUS.
Artichokes are magical to me. A large artichoke packs 9g of fiber, 5g of protein, no fat or cholesterol. It is high in Vitamin C and Magnesium, with some bonus Iron, Calcium, and B-12 hanging out in there. And best part? ONLY 75 calories for the whole thing!
Okay, thats not the best best part. The bestest best part is that they are freaking delicious. I literally cannot get enough of them, and from mid-April thru June, Charming Suitor and I gorge guiltlessly on these beauties.
Not kidding.
Yes, this is for two people.
I buy them 8 at a time. The first day I get them, I prep and steam them, and CS and I have two each for dinner. He will take one to work the next day for lunch, and I'll eat one at home for lunch. The other two are then available for a day or two for either lunches or snacking or to become an ingredient in something else. 8 artichokes last us about three to four days. And we do this routine once a week until the season is over. And then we miss them until the following Spring. These are the weeks that prove your love for someone, because do not mistake me, this is a lot of fiber and vegetation to put through your system, and they will, without fail, make you spectacularly gassy. You might potentially blow the love of your life out of the bed. But they will forgive you because artichokes are so yummy that it will not matter that you both become walking dirty bombs for eight weeks a year.
For those of you who think artichokes are complicated, they are not. I've had a lot of practice, so I can break one down in about 45 seconds to a minute, but once you know the technique, you can knock it out fast yourself. Don't be scared of the artichoke! It will reward you.
When buying them, look for ones that feel heavy for their size, have leaves that are nice and tight, and they should squeak a little when you squeeze them.
First thing, have a large cutting board, an 8 inch serrated knife (essential) and a lemon, cut in half. Do not do this with a straight edge knife, you need the serration for grippiness. Trust me, you'd like to keep all of your fingers. This is a great time to use that sad little mangy lemon in the bottom of the fruit bowl. The artichokes won't care. Hold the artichoke on its side, and slice off the stem flush with the bottom of the artichoke to make it fairly flat. Let chefs peel and fuss over the stems, as CS says, the juice isn't worth the squeeze on that, go for fast and easy instead. Once the stem is removed, use the knife on a slight angle to slice off the outer leaves and reveal the heart. Go all the way around the bottom of the artichoke, it will take about 6 slices to have the bottom totally peeled. Rub the cut side of half a lemon on the bottom. Then turn it back on its side and slice straight down about 2/3 up the side, removing all the spiny top parts of the leaves in one go. Rub the lemon on the cut ends of the leaves, and you will have a prepped artichoke!
I use a large steamer, but you can use a steamer basket in a stockpot, or a steamer insert. Place your artichokes bottoms up in your steamer, with about 2 inches of water in the pot.
You don't want to boil them or let them touch the water, or the leaves will soak it up and get waterlogged. Cover and steam over high heat for about 35-40 minutes. I test by poking a fork into the bottom of one, it should go in and out smoothly. I don't use a knife to test things like artichokes or potatoes because my knives are super sharp and may slip right into something that is actually not quite done yet. Forks are a much better indicator.
Aren't they just gorgeous? I take them off the heat and place them over a towel for about 15 minutes. Then I put the four we are having tonight on a plate with a piece of plastic wrap, they'll be terrific at room temp, and put the other four in the containers in the fridge for later indulging.
I know many people swear by drawn butter for dipping. And you know your Polymath is a big fan of butter. Mo' butter, mo' better. But not for artichokes. Artichokes are buttery on their own, much like avocados. They want a little acid and a little salt to make them shine. I make vats of a pungent thick vinaigrette that we use for dipping.
I use lemon juice, dijon mustard, shallot, capers, olive oil, salt and pepper to taste, maybe a pinch of sugar or a squirt of agave just to polish off the rough edges.
I don't measure, I just go by eye. This is the juice of 1 1/2 lemons, 2 heaping spoons of capers, a large glug or two of dijon mustard, and one chopped up shallot. Then I pour in about twice as much oil as I have stuff in the bottom, and use my immersion blender to whizz it all up. Taste for seasoning, adjust as necessary. I like this much more intense than I would make for salad dressing, you should do what you like. This is making a huge vat of it, because as I may have mentioned, we eat eleventy million artichokes a week, and this stuff lasts a couple of weeks in the fridge. You should feel free to make a rational amount if you choose. You don't need a lot, I only use about 1 tablespoon for a whole artichoke for dipping, you just want to gild the lily a bit.
For me, the first artichokes of the season are the only thing that really means Spring, and after this winter? Seeing them today almost made me tear up a bit.
What are the super seasonal things you wait all year for, and how do you prepare them?
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
April 7, 2014
Basement progress
Hello Chickens! Is it Spring YET? Here we are still shifting back and forth from one warmish sunny day to three or four wintry gray days, but I'm trying to be hopeful that eventually Spring will arrive full force.
In the meantime, I know you are all wondering how things are progressing here at the House.
So this happened:
They roughed out plumbing in the future bathroom...this is the nook where the shower will go!
The place looked like a disaster area, but there is method to all madness.
Then they trenched around the whole perimeter, and laid in a pipe for the drainage system. This will ensure that you never (knock wood) have to read a blog post about a flood in our basment!
They attached the plumbing system to an ejector pump, which will keep everything in the basement bathroom and laundry room flowing smoothly.
Then they began to clear the decks a bit.
And after putting a ton of river rock over the drain pipe system, they riveted this special drainage plastic to the wall covering the now-rock filled trench.
They did a temporary frame so that we could check the size of the eventual shower. This resulted in Charming Suitor and I pantomiming basic shower activity in between the "wall" and the plywood, to ensure that it is deep enough to be comfortable.
Then they did a little bit of wall framing!
Since we are doing historically sensitive renovations here, anything that gets removed gets saved...these salvaged bricks are over 100 years old and still in solid shape, so we will keep them for future use.
Our contractors have set up a little conference room/lunch room in the future wine cellar! That piece of stone is a huge limestone lintel we salvaged when we had to redo a doorway for better structural soundness, and it will eventually become the bench inside the new basement shower!
With the hallway wall framing going in, we can sort of begin to see how rooms are going to shake out down there. And they are clearing out and prepping for the next few steps before we pour the concrete for the floor.
This means building a temporary ceiling cage for building materials that cannot be stored on the floor until the concrete goes down.
The electrician was here to run the wiring that gets buried in the floor over the weekend, and then this week they will be bringing in a load of pea gravel to level the floor, and then a few more steps and we can get the concrete trucks over here! We all agree that once the concrete floors go in, we will really begin to see the future life of the space.
In other news, the gorgeous Wetstyle sink we ordered for the basement vanity arrived!
Its still in the box for protective purposes, but we peeked and are SO EXCITED with the choice. Even though we are still months away from it getting installed, it is still thrilling for it to be in the house.
And we've now made THIS twice and cannot recommend it enough. It is even great if you make it a day or two ahead and then reheat it. Delicious.
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
In the meantime, I know you are all wondering how things are progressing here at the House.
So this happened:
They roughed out plumbing in the future bathroom...this is the nook where the shower will go!
The place looked like a disaster area, but there is method to all madness.
Then they trenched around the whole perimeter, and laid in a pipe for the drainage system. This will ensure that you never (knock wood) have to read a blog post about a flood in our basment!
They attached the plumbing system to an ejector pump, which will keep everything in the basement bathroom and laundry room flowing smoothly.
Then they began to clear the decks a bit.
And after putting a ton of river rock over the drain pipe system, they riveted this special drainage plastic to the wall covering the now-rock filled trench.
They did a temporary frame so that we could check the size of the eventual shower. This resulted in Charming Suitor and I pantomiming basic shower activity in between the "wall" and the plywood, to ensure that it is deep enough to be comfortable.
Then they did a little bit of wall framing!
Since we are doing historically sensitive renovations here, anything that gets removed gets saved...these salvaged bricks are over 100 years old and still in solid shape, so we will keep them for future use.
Our contractors have set up a little conference room/lunch room in the future wine cellar! That piece of stone is a huge limestone lintel we salvaged when we had to redo a doorway for better structural soundness, and it will eventually become the bench inside the new basement shower!
With the hallway wall framing going in, we can sort of begin to see how rooms are going to shake out down there. And they are clearing out and prepping for the next few steps before we pour the concrete for the floor.
This means building a temporary ceiling cage for building materials that cannot be stored on the floor until the concrete goes down.
The electrician was here to run the wiring that gets buried in the floor over the weekend, and then this week they will be bringing in a load of pea gravel to level the floor, and then a few more steps and we can get the concrete trucks over here! We all agree that once the concrete floors go in, we will really begin to see the future life of the space.
In other news, the gorgeous Wetstyle sink we ordered for the basement vanity arrived!
Its still in the box for protective purposes, but we peeked and are SO EXCITED with the choice. Even though we are still months away from it getting installed, it is still thrilling for it to be in the house.
And we've now made THIS twice and cannot recommend it enough. It is even great if you make it a day or two ahead and then reheat it. Delicious.
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
March 12, 2014
Happy Houseiversary To Us!
Chickens-
Today is the one year anniversary of Charming Suitor and I buying our forever home. Now you would think this wouldn't be a big deal, since I'd been living in it for 20 years when the papers were finally signed, but it was. Everything I always loved about this place got better the moment CS moved in, and then EVEN BETTER when we could officially call it ours. I think the same happens for people who live together for a long time and then finally get married. It just brings everything into delicious focus. So I want to take this moment to say Happy Houseiversary to my extraordinary Charming Suitor...my dream house is anywhere you are, but I'm so glad it is here :)
In honor of our Houseiversary, we have a new bit of updating on the improvement projects, now that we are six months in...
As we speak the drain tile and sump pump are being installed in the basement. Very boring, but the peace of mind that our currently historically dry basement will remain so, makes it a very happy thing indeed.
In even better news, we found a sink for our basement vanity project!
Remember our awesome Craigslist find?
We knew immediately that it would make the perfect vanity for the basement bathroom. The patina on the wood and brass details are going to bring some much needed warmth and originality to a space that traditionally can feel a little cold and generic. The next choice we had to make was about the sink. We knew that we wanted a single long trough sink, both for the look (I hate side by side sinks) but also for the functionality (I hate getting elbowed in the head when CS and I try to brush our teeth together over the one sink in our current bathroom). So a single long sink with two sets of faucets would not only be a great look, but also would be very useful.
And Look. What. We. Found.
Is that not the sexiest sink you ever did see????
The sink is almost 4 feet long, just over a foot wide, and about 4 inches deep. It is from a company called Wetstyle which is a Canadian company that our architects suggested we check out because they have always found the products to be that magical combination of superior quality and reasonable prices. And boy am I glad they did. It was love at first sight. Not only did they have the PERFECT size and shape of sink that absolutely matched the picture we had in our heads of what we wanted, but they were also lovely to work with. When I emailed a couple of questions, I had answers practically instantaneously. Their products are made of a natural stone composite material that is very eco-friendly, but also enormously durable. You can get them in a high gloss (which we are doing for this one) or a very cool matte finish that I find inspiring and am pretty sure we will be exploring more soon. I got lost on their website for the better part of an hour, dreaming of future bathrooms. After all, there are five more on the horizon, lord help us!
After we found the sink online, we headed over to a local design studio to see them in person, and were very impressed with how they looked and felt. We compared them in person to sinks from other high end companies, and they were the clear winner...beating out a lot of sinks that were double the price! We ended up ordering the high gloss for this project because this sink will be getting a lot of use in tooth brushing and shaving, and we wanted easy quick cleanup. But I have to say, when I felt the matte finishes? I definitely want to do at least one of these somewhere in the house. I can't really describe how nice the surfaces felt, but I never thought I'd want to pet a sink....until now.
I don't know if this pic captures the matte finish that well, but, trust me, it is a gorgeous look and when you touch it, it feel sort of cool and soft and smooth like a river rock.
And I know we are literally like 2 years away from even thinking about the Master Bath, but, um, I can't stop dreaming about this....
Shut the front door! I'm a bathtub girl anyway, but this? Can't you just imagine? It sends my heart into palpitations.
Sorry. Where was I?
Oh, basement bathroom. It feels like now that the vanity is coming together the rest of the bathroom is going to fall into place, design-wise. And it was definitely smart to start here. The brass handles on the vanity mean that we are actually going to go with antiqued brass finishes for all of the faucets etc., so that the room feels cohesive, in a pretty traditional or old-world style to underscore the age of the buffet. I think having this cool modern Wetstyle trough sink paired with the antique vanity and antique-repro brass faucets is going to be pretty spectacular. We went with the undermount version of this sink because the buffet is already counter height, so adding another four inches of vessel sink would have been very bad for short little me. We will replace the wood top with some sort of stone countertop TBD, and the sink will be attached underneath. SO EXCITING!
The other big find for the house is the kitchen table!
I know, you are asking yourself, isn't our dear Polymath some 18 months or so away from having a kitchen into which she can put a table? And the answer is, um, yup. But when the table finds you, you have to go with it.
It is a 1920s oak trestle table that was in the conference room of a bank! A full four feet by eight feet, the top is just a solid slab of oak. Gorgeous oak...
Look at that grain! Couldn't resist it. We found this beauty in Milwaukee at a cute little antique place, and all I can say is that it was a total STEAL. Like, think IKEA pricing. We are headed back to Milwaukee in a couple of weeks to pick it up...and foist it on my parents weekend place until we can give it a home! Thank goodness they don't care if we temporarily redecorate their dining room, because we can't store it here while we are under construction, and to be honest, both of our storage units are full to the brim! So big props to Mom and Dad for the assist :)
I'd say welcome to Spring, but we are expecting about 4-5 inches of snow today, so happy Wednesday!
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
Today is the one year anniversary of Charming Suitor and I buying our forever home. Now you would think this wouldn't be a big deal, since I'd been living in it for 20 years when the papers were finally signed, but it was. Everything I always loved about this place got better the moment CS moved in, and then EVEN BETTER when we could officially call it ours. I think the same happens for people who live together for a long time and then finally get married. It just brings everything into delicious focus. So I want to take this moment to say Happy Houseiversary to my extraordinary Charming Suitor...my dream house is anywhere you are, but I'm so glad it is here :)
In honor of our Houseiversary, we have a new bit of updating on the improvement projects, now that we are six months in...
As we speak the drain tile and sump pump are being installed in the basement. Very boring, but the peace of mind that our currently historically dry basement will remain so, makes it a very happy thing indeed.
In even better news, we found a sink for our basement vanity project!
Remember our awesome Craigslist find?
We knew immediately that it would make the perfect vanity for the basement bathroom. The patina on the wood and brass details are going to bring some much needed warmth and originality to a space that traditionally can feel a little cold and generic. The next choice we had to make was about the sink. We knew that we wanted a single long trough sink, both for the look (I hate side by side sinks) but also for the functionality (I hate getting elbowed in the head when CS and I try to brush our teeth together over the one sink in our current bathroom). So a single long sink with two sets of faucets would not only be a great look, but also would be very useful.
And Look. What. We. Found.
Is that not the sexiest sink you ever did see????
The sink is almost 4 feet long, just over a foot wide, and about 4 inches deep. It is from a company called Wetstyle which is a Canadian company that our architects suggested we check out because they have always found the products to be that magical combination of superior quality and reasonable prices. And boy am I glad they did. It was love at first sight. Not only did they have the PERFECT size and shape of sink that absolutely matched the picture we had in our heads of what we wanted, but they were also lovely to work with. When I emailed a couple of questions, I had answers practically instantaneously. Their products are made of a natural stone composite material that is very eco-friendly, but also enormously durable. You can get them in a high gloss (which we are doing for this one) or a very cool matte finish that I find inspiring and am pretty sure we will be exploring more soon. I got lost on their website for the better part of an hour, dreaming of future bathrooms. After all, there are five more on the horizon, lord help us!
After we found the sink online, we headed over to a local design studio to see them in person, and were very impressed with how they looked and felt. We compared them in person to sinks from other high end companies, and they were the clear winner...beating out a lot of sinks that were double the price! We ended up ordering the high gloss for this project because this sink will be getting a lot of use in tooth brushing and shaving, and we wanted easy quick cleanup. But I have to say, when I felt the matte finishes? I definitely want to do at least one of these somewhere in the house. I can't really describe how nice the surfaces felt, but I never thought I'd want to pet a sink....until now.
I don't know if this pic captures the matte finish that well, but, trust me, it is a gorgeous look and when you touch it, it feel sort of cool and soft and smooth like a river rock.
And I know we are literally like 2 years away from even thinking about the Master Bath, but, um, I can't stop dreaming about this....
Shut the front door! I'm a bathtub girl anyway, but this? Can't you just imagine? It sends my heart into palpitations.
Sorry. Where was I?
Oh, basement bathroom. It feels like now that the vanity is coming together the rest of the bathroom is going to fall into place, design-wise. And it was definitely smart to start here. The brass handles on the vanity mean that we are actually going to go with antiqued brass finishes for all of the faucets etc., so that the room feels cohesive, in a pretty traditional or old-world style to underscore the age of the buffet. I think having this cool modern Wetstyle trough sink paired with the antique vanity and antique-repro brass faucets is going to be pretty spectacular. We went with the undermount version of this sink because the buffet is already counter height, so adding another four inches of vessel sink would have been very bad for short little me. We will replace the wood top with some sort of stone countertop TBD, and the sink will be attached underneath. SO EXCITING!
The other big find for the house is the kitchen table!
I know, you are asking yourself, isn't our dear Polymath some 18 months or so away from having a kitchen into which she can put a table? And the answer is, um, yup. But when the table finds you, you have to go with it.
It is a 1920s oak trestle table that was in the conference room of a bank! A full four feet by eight feet, the top is just a solid slab of oak. Gorgeous oak...
Look at that grain! Couldn't resist it. We found this beauty in Milwaukee at a cute little antique place, and all I can say is that it was a total STEAL. Like, think IKEA pricing. We are headed back to Milwaukee in a couple of weeks to pick it up...and foist it on my parents weekend place until we can give it a home! Thank goodness they don't care if we temporarily redecorate their dining room, because we can't store it here while we are under construction, and to be honest, both of our storage units are full to the brim! So big props to Mom and Dad for the assist :)
I'd say welcome to Spring, but we are expecting about 4-5 inches of snow today, so happy Wednesday!
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
March 5, 2014
Winners One and All
Chickens-
It is snowing here. Again. I swear this winter is trying to kill us.
So, the winner of the cookbook title contest is Yours in Good Taste. I submitted all three to my editor. And the official name of the cookbook is....
BIG DELICIOUS LIFE
Stacey Ballis’s Most Awesome Simple Recipes
Now you may be noticing that the only thing this has in common with ANY of the titles we all sent over is my name. Welcome to publishing :) I have all the creative control in the world when it comes to what lies between the covers of my books, and none at all when it comes to their titles and cover art. The nature of the business.
But I adore you all for helping and playing! And I would like the contributors of the three top entries to please send your shipping addresses to me at staceyballisinfo (at) gmail (dot) com, so that I can send you all a little something.
The good news is that now we have a title, and I am working hard on getting it together for you, and it will be out in October, in time for holiday cooking.
But I thought, since the whole Throwback Thursday thing is in effect, I would share a retro recipe with you. One of our dear friends didn't grow up in the States, and as a result, every once in a while there is a food he just never has tasted. A couple of weeks ago he expressed a curiosity about Sloppy Joes. So I said I would make a batch the next time the four of us got together for one of our movie nights. Charming Suitor was not happy about this, since Sloppy Joes do not invoke happy memories for him, but he was willing to take a bullet for his buddy.
Here is my updated recipe for a more grown-up Joe. Not cloyingly sweet, like so many, but a good balance of savory and sweet. No green bell peppers which make your house smell like an armpit and make everything they touch taste like a foot. CS called them definitively the "best Sloppy Joes" he had ever eaten...and then requested I never make them again.
Any childhood food you've been craving an update on?
Stacey's Sloppy JoesServes 6-8
3 lbs ground meat (beef, turkey, chicken and pork all work fine)2 large carrots, peeled and cut into 2 inch chunks1 sweet onion, peeled and cut into 2 inch chunks2 stalks celery, cut into 2 inch chunks6 serrano chiles, seeds and ribs removed, minced finely2 cloves of garlic, minced fine½ c tomato paste¼ c water3 T grapeseed or canola oil1 c ketchup½ c bbq sauce (I use homemade, but use whatever bottled sauce you like)½ c chili sauce1 t Worcestershire sauce2 T dark brown sugarsalt and pepper to taste
In your food processor, pulse the carrots, celery and onion until you have a coarse paste, with about the same texture as the ground meat.
Heat a large Dutch oven over medium high heat, and add the oil. Sauté the vegetable mixture for about 6-8 minutes, letting the water evaporate and some good browning should occur. Add in the tomato paste, and water, mix well and continue to cook, letting it brown a bit more, about another 2-3 minutes. Stir in the minced garlic and Serrano chilies, and cook about 2 more minutes, and then remove the mixture from the pot. Add the meat to the pot, and break up with a potato masher or spatula and cook until well-browned. Drain the meat, reduce the heat to medium low, and then return it to the pot with the vegetable mash. Stir in the ketchup, chili sauce, Worcestershire sauce, bbq sauce and brown sugar. Cook for 10 minutes to let the flavors blend, and then taste for salt and pepper.
It is best made the day before, and then reheated in a low oven or a slow cooker the day you want to eat it. Freezes beautifully.
It is snowing here. Again. I swear this winter is trying to kill us.
So, the winner of the cookbook title contest is Yours in Good Taste. I submitted all three to my editor. And the official name of the cookbook is....
BIG DELICIOUS LIFE
Stacey Ballis’s Most Awesome Simple Recipes
Now you may be noticing that the only thing this has in common with ANY of the titles we all sent over is my name. Welcome to publishing :) I have all the creative control in the world when it comes to what lies between the covers of my books, and none at all when it comes to their titles and cover art. The nature of the business.
But I adore you all for helping and playing! And I would like the contributors of the three top entries to please send your shipping addresses to me at staceyballisinfo (at) gmail (dot) com, so that I can send you all a little something.
The good news is that now we have a title, and I am working hard on getting it together for you, and it will be out in October, in time for holiday cooking.
But I thought, since the whole Throwback Thursday thing is in effect, I would share a retro recipe with you. One of our dear friends didn't grow up in the States, and as a result, every once in a while there is a food he just never has tasted. A couple of weeks ago he expressed a curiosity about Sloppy Joes. So I said I would make a batch the next time the four of us got together for one of our movie nights. Charming Suitor was not happy about this, since Sloppy Joes do not invoke happy memories for him, but he was willing to take a bullet for his buddy.
Here is my updated recipe for a more grown-up Joe. Not cloyingly sweet, like so many, but a good balance of savory and sweet. No green bell peppers which make your house smell like an armpit and make everything they touch taste like a foot. CS called them definitively the "best Sloppy Joes" he had ever eaten...and then requested I never make them again.
Any childhood food you've been craving an update on?
Stacey's Sloppy JoesServes 6-8
3 lbs ground meat (beef, turkey, chicken and pork all work fine)2 large carrots, peeled and cut into 2 inch chunks1 sweet onion, peeled and cut into 2 inch chunks2 stalks celery, cut into 2 inch chunks6 serrano chiles, seeds and ribs removed, minced finely2 cloves of garlic, minced fine½ c tomato paste¼ c water3 T grapeseed or canola oil1 c ketchup½ c bbq sauce (I use homemade, but use whatever bottled sauce you like)½ c chili sauce1 t Worcestershire sauce2 T dark brown sugarsalt and pepper to taste
In your food processor, pulse the carrots, celery and onion until you have a coarse paste, with about the same texture as the ground meat.
Heat a large Dutch oven over medium high heat, and add the oil. Sauté the vegetable mixture for about 6-8 minutes, letting the water evaporate and some good browning should occur. Add in the tomato paste, and water, mix well and continue to cook, letting it brown a bit more, about another 2-3 minutes. Stir in the minced garlic and Serrano chilies, and cook about 2 more minutes, and then remove the mixture from the pot. Add the meat to the pot, and break up with a potato masher or spatula and cook until well-browned. Drain the meat, reduce the heat to medium low, and then return it to the pot with the vegetable mash. Stir in the ketchup, chili sauce, Worcestershire sauce, bbq sauce and brown sugar. Cook for 10 minutes to let the flavors blend, and then taste for salt and pepper.
It is best made the day before, and then reheated in a low oven or a slow cooker the day you want to eat it. Freezes beautifully.
February 25, 2014
Cookbook Titles
Okay, Chickens, here are the top three choices for me to submit to my editor for cookbook titles:
1. Cooking Between the Lines: Recipes from the novels of Stacey Ballis
2. Fiction to Kitchen: A collection of scrumptious recipes for any occasion by Author and Food Enthusiast Stacey Ballis
3. Yours in Good Taste: The Collected Recipes from the Novels of Stacey Ballis
Please comment below with your votes, and please only vote once for one title! The top vote getter will get a special prize from me. I will be submitting all three of these to my editor, and if one makes the grade, there will be an even bigger prize!
Vote by 11:59pm CST Thursday and I will announce the winner on Friday!
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
1. Cooking Between the Lines: Recipes from the novels of Stacey Ballis
2. Fiction to Kitchen: A collection of scrumptious recipes for any occasion by Author and Food Enthusiast Stacey Ballis
3. Yours in Good Taste: The Collected Recipes from the Novels of Stacey Ballis
Please comment below with your votes, and please only vote once for one title! The top vote getter will get a special prize from me. I will be submitting all three of these to my editor, and if one makes the grade, there will be an even bigger prize!
Vote by 11:59pm CST Thursday and I will announce the winner on Friday!
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
February 20, 2014
Pantry Gloop
Hello Chickens! Are you sick of winter? Because I am just about up to here with this weather business. At the moment I'm watching the rain pour down, which makes me happy, because perhaps some of this 68 freaking inches of snow we've had dumped on us will actually go away, but also makes me nervous, what with the whole flooding potential. Not to mention that the temp is supposed to drop again, and I'd prefer to keep the whole ice rink situation solidly in Sochi, thank you very much. At the moment? Its like living in a half melted margarita. With dirt in it. And a staggering amount of unattended to dog poop. C'mon people, pick up after your dogs!
So far, so good, nothing scary happening in the basement, but I'm keeping fingers crossed for all of my friends and loved ones who live where the water systems can get overloaded. We've always been fortunate with our location, the basement here is a dry one. But you can bet we are in the process of installing drain tile and a sump pump, because we believe in better safe than soggy. We are still enjoying the heck out of the new central heating system, and loving the look of the place now that all the huge radiators are out of the house! You'd be absolutely shocked how much room is taken up by radiators. It feels like a whole new space.
In other news, we are officially beginning to design the basement bathroom! This is enormously exciting, since it is the first time we are making decisions about how a room will actually look, as opposed to just the size and shape and function of a space. Its complicated, since while EVENTUALLY it will be "just a basement guest bathroom" for the foreseeable future it will become our master bath, so we are walking a fine line of doing something that isn't too insane, but will still be an upgrade for us when we temporarily move downstairs so they can work their way up!
They say that with design, it is best to make one big initial decision and then let the rest follow from there. It could be a tub or a shower configuration, it could be a tile choice or color scheme.
Here was our first decision:
This is an arts and crafts buffet, circa 1930ish, with original brass hardware. And while it looks perfectly lovely in its temporary home in our dining room, we are very excited for it to have a future life...as the vanity in the bathroom! We will be removing the wooden top, installing an under-mounted 4 foot long trough sink with a stone countertop, and installing two wall-mounted faucets in antique brass to match the hardware. Charming Suitor and I love the idea of both of us being able to brush our teeth concurrently without either of us getting beaned by a flying elbow or accidentally spit upon, but neither of us really love the look of two side by side sinks. By doing one long shared sink with two independent faucets we will get the separate functionality we want, but with a more modern, cleaner look.
We will only lose the top three drawers when the sink goes in, and a couple inches of the depth in the two cabinet sections, but this piece should provide plenty of storage for the bathroom, and we think it will make for a really cool look. If you are looking into bathroom remodel, especially in an older home, I strongly suggest you investigate your options of turning a piece of furniture into your vanity. You'll get a much more custom look, often for a lot less money than you might spend on new cabinetry. This piece we found locally on Craigslist for not much money (thank god it fit in CS's truck for schlepping it home!), and the conversion is pretty simple, our contractors will take care of it for us, but they say that anyone with basic carpentry skills could accomplish it as a DIY.
Now that we have committed to this design choice, we will focus on planning the rest of the bathroom to work with this piece and compliment it...stay tuned for more decisions as we make them!
Finally, I know you have all been on pins and needles about my pantry dinner project. So the good news, at least for us, is that at least once a week I have indeed been concocting dinners out of what we have lying around. Unfortunately for you, the recipes are so similar to each other that it isn't worth giving you recipes. Since we are still working our way thru the endless supply of ground beef that comes when you purchase a quarter of a cow, the stewlike dishes all start with sautéed ground beef and onions, dumped in the slow cooker with some sort of grain or pasta, some sort of bean or lentil, a can of crushed tomatoes, a box of either beef or chicken stock, and whatever veggies happen to be lying around. Each version is a teeny bit different, so that is preventing us from getting too bored, but it isn't like I'm magically coming up with exciting new dining innovations.
I wanted to, I thought I would, but I find that a lot of the ingredients I have socked away are much more suited to making sauces and such, and would require the purchase of new ingredients to make them sing, so for the moment, I'm just focused on clearing the decks a bit and whittling down the stores while the weather still calls for hearty bowls of what CS has taken to calling "Casseroles Without Borders". Hopefully when the weather improves and I've gotten the pantry and freezer down to more rational contents, I'll be able to focus more on new ideas.
In the meantime, don't forget to help me find a title for my upcoming digital cookbook...details HERE.
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
So far, so good, nothing scary happening in the basement, but I'm keeping fingers crossed for all of my friends and loved ones who live where the water systems can get overloaded. We've always been fortunate with our location, the basement here is a dry one. But you can bet we are in the process of installing drain tile and a sump pump, because we believe in better safe than soggy. We are still enjoying the heck out of the new central heating system, and loving the look of the place now that all the huge radiators are out of the house! You'd be absolutely shocked how much room is taken up by radiators. It feels like a whole new space.
In other news, we are officially beginning to design the basement bathroom! This is enormously exciting, since it is the first time we are making decisions about how a room will actually look, as opposed to just the size and shape and function of a space. Its complicated, since while EVENTUALLY it will be "just a basement guest bathroom" for the foreseeable future it will become our master bath, so we are walking a fine line of doing something that isn't too insane, but will still be an upgrade for us when we temporarily move downstairs so they can work their way up!
They say that with design, it is best to make one big initial decision and then let the rest follow from there. It could be a tub or a shower configuration, it could be a tile choice or color scheme.
Here was our first decision:
This is an arts and crafts buffet, circa 1930ish, with original brass hardware. And while it looks perfectly lovely in its temporary home in our dining room, we are very excited for it to have a future life...as the vanity in the bathroom! We will be removing the wooden top, installing an under-mounted 4 foot long trough sink with a stone countertop, and installing two wall-mounted faucets in antique brass to match the hardware. Charming Suitor and I love the idea of both of us being able to brush our teeth concurrently without either of us getting beaned by a flying elbow or accidentally spit upon, but neither of us really love the look of two side by side sinks. By doing one long shared sink with two independent faucets we will get the separate functionality we want, but with a more modern, cleaner look.
We will only lose the top three drawers when the sink goes in, and a couple inches of the depth in the two cabinet sections, but this piece should provide plenty of storage for the bathroom, and we think it will make for a really cool look. If you are looking into bathroom remodel, especially in an older home, I strongly suggest you investigate your options of turning a piece of furniture into your vanity. You'll get a much more custom look, often for a lot less money than you might spend on new cabinetry. This piece we found locally on Craigslist for not much money (thank god it fit in CS's truck for schlepping it home!), and the conversion is pretty simple, our contractors will take care of it for us, but they say that anyone with basic carpentry skills could accomplish it as a DIY.
Now that we have committed to this design choice, we will focus on planning the rest of the bathroom to work with this piece and compliment it...stay tuned for more decisions as we make them!
Finally, I know you have all been on pins and needles about my pantry dinner project. So the good news, at least for us, is that at least once a week I have indeed been concocting dinners out of what we have lying around. Unfortunately for you, the recipes are so similar to each other that it isn't worth giving you recipes. Since we are still working our way thru the endless supply of ground beef that comes when you purchase a quarter of a cow, the stewlike dishes all start with sautéed ground beef and onions, dumped in the slow cooker with some sort of grain or pasta, some sort of bean or lentil, a can of crushed tomatoes, a box of either beef or chicken stock, and whatever veggies happen to be lying around. Each version is a teeny bit different, so that is preventing us from getting too bored, but it isn't like I'm magically coming up with exciting new dining innovations.
I wanted to, I thought I would, but I find that a lot of the ingredients I have socked away are much more suited to making sauces and such, and would require the purchase of new ingredients to make them sing, so for the moment, I'm just focused on clearing the decks a bit and whittling down the stores while the weather still calls for hearty bowls of what CS has taken to calling "Casseroles Without Borders". Hopefully when the weather improves and I've gotten the pantry and freezer down to more rational contents, I'll be able to focus more on new ideas.
In the meantime, don't forget to help me find a title for my upcoming digital cookbook...details HERE.
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
February 14, 2014
Winners Announced, and a New Epic Contest!
Chickens-
In honor of Valentine's Day, I want to thank you for sharing your tales of young love gone sideways, Pamela and I really appreciate it. I also want to take a moment to give a brief shout-out to my Charming Suitor for essentially making every day Valentine's Day. (I know, its mushy, but he totally does.)
Congrats to the following winners of a signed copy of Notes to Boys! Please email your shipping address to staceyballisinfo (at) gmail dot com:
Lori
Lisa
Kris
Bev V
Gayle
Anne
Timwarp
Andrea
Hilary
Jimmiesworld
For the rest of you, I hope you will buy a copy of this terrific book, maybe two....one for you and one for the person who begged you not to send that note to that crush. You can find it at your favorite local bookseller, or HERE.
In the meantime, I need your help. My first digital cookbook is going to be released this coming October. (SQUEE!) It will be the collected recipes from the novels, plus the "lost recipes" of dishes mentioned in the books but not included in the limited recipe sections in the back. I need a couple of things from my favorite readers:
1. Please comment with the names of the dishes you most want included that you haven't seen recipes for as yet. For example, the Mea Culpa Muffins from Good Enough to Eat will be making their first appearance. This is a good opportunity to go back to the books for a refresher, or to use it as an excuse to pick up one you might have missed! (hint hint)
2. I need a name for the cookbook. At the moment we are referring to it as Stacey Ballis' Big EBook of Yummy Deliciousness, which, you know, is god freaking awful. So I am looking for some titles with a similarly fun vibe, but less terribleness. I will pick the top few choices and put them up for a vote, and the top two vote getters will receive a fun package of cooking gadgets. If my editor picks any one of your titles for the actual book, not only will you get a signed copy of Out To Lunch, but I will use your name (or the name of your choosing) for a character in my next book. (to be clear, not in Recipe for Disaster, which is finished, but the NEXT one which I haven't started writing yet because of the cookbook thing).
So, comment below with recipes I need to include, AND possible cookbook titles between now and 11:59 PM Monday Feb. 24, and I will open voting on Feb. 25.
Thanks again to the fabulous Pamela Ribon for coming to visit and being so generous with the signed books!
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
In honor of Valentine's Day, I want to thank you for sharing your tales of young love gone sideways, Pamela and I really appreciate it. I also want to take a moment to give a brief shout-out to my Charming Suitor for essentially making every day Valentine's Day. (I know, its mushy, but he totally does.)
Congrats to the following winners of a signed copy of Notes to Boys! Please email your shipping address to staceyballisinfo (at) gmail dot com:
Lori
Lisa
Kris
Bev V
Gayle
Anne
Timwarp
Andrea
Hilary
Jimmiesworld
For the rest of you, I hope you will buy a copy of this terrific book, maybe two....one for you and one for the person who begged you not to send that note to that crush. You can find it at your favorite local bookseller, or HERE.
In the meantime, I need your help. My first digital cookbook is going to be released this coming October. (SQUEE!) It will be the collected recipes from the novels, plus the "lost recipes" of dishes mentioned in the books but not included in the limited recipe sections in the back. I need a couple of things from my favorite readers:
1. Please comment with the names of the dishes you most want included that you haven't seen recipes for as yet. For example, the Mea Culpa Muffins from Good Enough to Eat will be making their first appearance. This is a good opportunity to go back to the books for a refresher, or to use it as an excuse to pick up one you might have missed! (hint hint)
2. I need a name for the cookbook. At the moment we are referring to it as Stacey Ballis' Big EBook of Yummy Deliciousness, which, you know, is god freaking awful. So I am looking for some titles with a similarly fun vibe, but less terribleness. I will pick the top few choices and put them up for a vote, and the top two vote getters will receive a fun package of cooking gadgets. If my editor picks any one of your titles for the actual book, not only will you get a signed copy of Out To Lunch, but I will use your name (or the name of your choosing) for a character in my next book. (to be clear, not in Recipe for Disaster, which is finished, but the NEXT one which I haven't started writing yet because of the cookbook thing).
So, comment below with recipes I need to include, AND possible cookbook titles between now and 11:59 PM Monday Feb. 24, and I will open voting on Feb. 25.
Thanks again to the fabulous Pamela Ribon for coming to visit and being so generous with the signed books!
Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath
February 10, 2014
Strumming My Pain With Her Fingers
Hello Chickens! Are you surviving your winter? Here in Chicago, where we have officially gotten more inches of snow than your Polymath is tall, I have just one thing to say.
Go home, weather, you're drunk.
In other good news, I have finished the manuscript of my next novel, Recipe for Disaster, and sent it off to my editor so that she can help me make it into a book. You will have it in your hot little hands in March of 2015! I know this seems like a long time, but trust me, you want it to take this long. The only way to make it shorter would be for you to have to read the rough draft, which Charming Suitor can attest is an exercise in ignoring bad grammar, spelling errors, redundancy, and other egregious plot blips that take you out of the story and make it annoying.
While you wait, I am going to give you a little gift. I'm going to let my friend Pamela Ribon take over the blog for today and give you a chance to win a signed copy of her new memoir...
Let me just say that when I gratefully received the advanced copy of this book I was just a few short weeks away from deadline, and on total lockdown. But I wanted to take a quick peek at just the first chapter, and I was hooked. One of those delicious reads you literally cannot put down. And for anyone who ever put themselves out there on a limb for love, you will see yourself in this hilarious and often poignant book. Pamela fearlessly shares not only her stories of love unrequited, or badly requited, or totally imagined, she also shares the notes and letters she wrote to the objects of her affections in all of their mortifying glory. The result is a book that will make you remember your past with awkward fondness, and will without a doubt make you a fan of Pamela's work for life. There is an excerpt she is sharing with us below. I know you won't want to wait to win your copy to keep reading, so you can buy it HERE. While you are there, check out her other books, which are equally wonderful.
Pam has graciously agreed to give away 10 signed copies of Notes to Boys, to enter, just comment below, preferably sharing the most embarrassing thing you ever did for love by 11:59PM Thursday night, and I will announce winners (and a fairly epic contest) Friday.
In the meantime, I hand over the page to Pamela!
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
Let’s start with one of my first ridiculous moments in love: the night I forced my crush to watch Broadcast News with me.
I suppose technically he watched it while I watched him watching it—my eyes wide and mouth ready for the kiss I knew he’d give me as soon as he figured out that I was Albert Brooks and he…he…was my Holly Hunter.
This is where I should probably tell you that I was thirteen years old.
Needless to say, he didn’t catch the subtext. During the moment when Albert Brooks tells Holly Hunter he wishes she were two people—“So I could call up the one who’s my friend and tell her about the one I love so much.”—my young soul mate spooned cookies and cream ice cream into the crook of his bare knee and remarked, “Heh-heh. If I spread my leg apart like this it looks like a butt with poops.”
But my heart knew we were destined to be. Even the chance to watch this romantic comedy together was a miracle that I assumed was part of our destiny—I had just moved away, several states over, to a small, rural town in Texas, and for reasons I’ll never understand, both of our parents allowed this visit. He flew to my house. On a plane. He arrived at baggage claim wearing a navy blue Late Night with David Letterman T-shirt. I know you don’t need to know that, but you should know that I know that because it speaks to how important this was to me.
We only had a couple of days together—mere hours! This meant I needed him to make a move and make it soon if we were going to be young lovers running through the streets. So I took him to the most romantic place I knew. I took him to Six Flags.
I’d always wanted to be that tanned and sweaty girl in an endless line for a roller coaster. She’s wearing a flimsy spaghetti-strap top and tiny shorts as she sits on the handrail that divides the lines into rigid sections. She’s chewing gum, or maybe just letting it stretch across her tongue as she rests her dewy cheek against the strong, muscled shoulder of her boyfriend. I wanted one of those middle-distance staring, metal band T-shirt wearing, floppy-haired, unfortunate-skinned boyfriends. He’s the one standing in the space between her parted knees. He’s the one holding her weary body up as they wait for a thrill ride.
I craved that moment with a boy, our sweat-soaked love the only thing keeping us from sudden heatstroke.
But during our two-hour wait for a sixty-second coaster, my Holly Hunter only used the handrails to show me how he would skate them if he had his board. His only proclamations of love were to say, “For the love of fucking shit, why is Texas as hot as the surface of the sun?”
On his last night in my house, I got desperate. Assuming he needed the ultimate hint, I snuck into the room where he was sleeping, climbed on top of him, yanked off my shirt and put his hands on my bare chest. “I have a girlfriend,” he blurted, not without a touch of fear in his voice. “She goes to another school.”
Why was I the only pre-teen ready for a serious, adult relationship? When would someone want to talk with me at a coffee shop about Salinger and Kids in the Hall sketches? When would I find my true Holly Hunter?
The real tragedy is that nobody ever pulled me aside to gently inform me that some feelings I should keep inside, that not everybody deserves my truth. Or at least so much of my truth. Instead I was all alone and determined to find the one boy who wanted all of it, all of me, who loved my words first, my body second.
Wait.
My words first, my brain second, my bookshelves third, and then my body.
No—my mixtapes! Then my body.
At some point someone should have said to me, “Hey. You kind of have a weird idea of how love goes that seems completely based on things you’ve watched on television. True love isn’t just like that time on Laverne & Shirley when Carmine and some other guy were fighting over Shirley and they got into a fist fight and Shirley tried to break it up when Carmine accidentally punched her in the face. I don’t know why you think that’s what love feels like, but listen: that’s fucked up.”
Now that you can imagine the type of girl I was as I entered my very heady, super hormonal teen years, you should also know that I had a lot of time on my hands and access to a whole lot of paper. This was before the Internet (I would normally add a “thankfully” here, but since I’m not just uploading the contents of what I wrote, I’m going the extra step to publishing them, I have no reason to be grateful for anything, and nobody to blame but myself), so there was nothing to stop me that probably keeps other teens in check these days (i.e. bullying, public mockery). I spent many, many, way too many years writing love letters, poems, stories. I wrote obsessively. Compulsively. Constantly. And for the most part, I delivered those pages straight to their intended target.
But not before I saved myself a copy.
It’s likely I kept the first drafts and hand delivered the more refined, less scribbly revision. All I know is I have boxes of notebooks and folders filled with evidence that I spent the majority of my teen years being an accidental stalker.
This is where you probably ask, But why do you still have all those boxes of notebooks and folders? It’s a valid question. The only answer I can give you is, it’s not hoarding if it’s research.
I gift that statement to the other human magpies in the world, the ones who can’t bear to toss things that hold even the slightest sentimental value. As someone who has three large bowls filled with wine corks, I understand. For those of you who still have boxes stuffed with high school theatre T-shirts or every issue of Sassymagazine, I carry your heart. I carry your heart in my heart. And I put that heart in a drawer with a whole lot of other hearts and some keychains with bank logos on them and some photo booth strips I keep planning on framing one day in a cute way and an Altoids tin of three-hole punch brads because I have a compulsion to save that’s fueled by the fear of becoming meaningless. While most of you would probably not find it wise to publish your teenage diaries, it is an effective way to get people off your ass for saving all your shit, along with the bonus of a possible tax deduction once you reach Hoarding Level 3, also known as “I’d better rent a storage unit before I end up with a divorce.”
The first time I shared these letters and stories with my husband, we were still only dating at the time. I opened my gigantic green folder of past love and began reading one of the letters to him in an embarrassed, Gosh, remember when you used to be like this?sort of way.
I was a few sentences in when he closed his eyes. “Please stop,” he said, holding up his hand—palm out, as if he needed to shield his face from any further harm.
I was immediately sympathetic. “Oh. I’m sorry. Is it because I’m talking about past boyfriends? I get it. It’s hard to think of me loving someone else?”
“No, that’s not it,” he said, eyes still shut, shaking his head. “I’m mortified for you.”
There’s a certain face people make when they hear these letters. I’ve read them aloud at enough book readings and shows to be familiar with the normal human reaction. Every face is a little bit different in its severity, but it’s a clearly recognizable expression of horrified sympathy. The eyes squint, involuntarily, and the brow becomes rippled with angst. The mouth has two choices—either the lower lip drops, exposing the teeth in a way that, if the listener chose to speak, he would say something like: “Eeeech.” Or the mouth retreats, pulling back inside itself, teeth biting down—probably to keep from yelling at me, “Why are you doing this to yourself?!”
After a book reading last year, a woman around my age approached me, smiling nervously. “I just wanted to thank you for sharing your teen diaries with us,” she said. “It made me do something really important.”
Assuming she began mentoring at a high school or signed up to be a foster parent, I felt a swell of pride. “That’s great! What did you do?”
“I called my mom and told her to burn all my old diaries and journals. I told her where they were in the basement and I made sure she got rid of them. All of them. I couldn’t bear to imagine anyone finding them one day, even after I was dead, and reading them. You made me realize just how terrifying it would be if anybody ever saw them.”
I was still quite flattered.
Excerpted with permission from Rare Bird Books and Pamela Ribon, Notes to Boys, (c) 2014
Go home, weather, you're drunk.
In other good news, I have finished the manuscript of my next novel, Recipe for Disaster, and sent it off to my editor so that she can help me make it into a book. You will have it in your hot little hands in March of 2015! I know this seems like a long time, but trust me, you want it to take this long. The only way to make it shorter would be for you to have to read the rough draft, which Charming Suitor can attest is an exercise in ignoring bad grammar, spelling errors, redundancy, and other egregious plot blips that take you out of the story and make it annoying.
While you wait, I am going to give you a little gift. I'm going to let my friend Pamela Ribon take over the blog for today and give you a chance to win a signed copy of her new memoir...
Let me just say that when I gratefully received the advanced copy of this book I was just a few short weeks away from deadline, and on total lockdown. But I wanted to take a quick peek at just the first chapter, and I was hooked. One of those delicious reads you literally cannot put down. And for anyone who ever put themselves out there on a limb for love, you will see yourself in this hilarious and often poignant book. Pamela fearlessly shares not only her stories of love unrequited, or badly requited, or totally imagined, she also shares the notes and letters she wrote to the objects of her affections in all of their mortifying glory. The result is a book that will make you remember your past with awkward fondness, and will without a doubt make you a fan of Pamela's work for life. There is an excerpt she is sharing with us below. I know you won't want to wait to win your copy to keep reading, so you can buy it HERE. While you are there, check out her other books, which are equally wonderful.
Pam has graciously agreed to give away 10 signed copies of Notes to Boys, to enter, just comment below, preferably sharing the most embarrassing thing you ever did for love by 11:59PM Thursday night, and I will announce winners (and a fairly epic contest) Friday.
In the meantime, I hand over the page to Pamela!
Yours in Good Taste,The Polymath
Let’s start with one of my first ridiculous moments in love: the night I forced my crush to watch Broadcast News with me.
I suppose technically he watched it while I watched him watching it—my eyes wide and mouth ready for the kiss I knew he’d give me as soon as he figured out that I was Albert Brooks and he…he…was my Holly Hunter.
This is where I should probably tell you that I was thirteen years old.
Needless to say, he didn’t catch the subtext. During the moment when Albert Brooks tells Holly Hunter he wishes she were two people—“So I could call up the one who’s my friend and tell her about the one I love so much.”—my young soul mate spooned cookies and cream ice cream into the crook of his bare knee and remarked, “Heh-heh. If I spread my leg apart like this it looks like a butt with poops.”
But my heart knew we were destined to be. Even the chance to watch this romantic comedy together was a miracle that I assumed was part of our destiny—I had just moved away, several states over, to a small, rural town in Texas, and for reasons I’ll never understand, both of our parents allowed this visit. He flew to my house. On a plane. He arrived at baggage claim wearing a navy blue Late Night with David Letterman T-shirt. I know you don’t need to know that, but you should know that I know that because it speaks to how important this was to me.
We only had a couple of days together—mere hours! This meant I needed him to make a move and make it soon if we were going to be young lovers running through the streets. So I took him to the most romantic place I knew. I took him to Six Flags.
I’d always wanted to be that tanned and sweaty girl in an endless line for a roller coaster. She’s wearing a flimsy spaghetti-strap top and tiny shorts as she sits on the handrail that divides the lines into rigid sections. She’s chewing gum, or maybe just letting it stretch across her tongue as she rests her dewy cheek against the strong, muscled shoulder of her boyfriend. I wanted one of those middle-distance staring, metal band T-shirt wearing, floppy-haired, unfortunate-skinned boyfriends. He’s the one standing in the space between her parted knees. He’s the one holding her weary body up as they wait for a thrill ride.
I craved that moment with a boy, our sweat-soaked love the only thing keeping us from sudden heatstroke.
But during our two-hour wait for a sixty-second coaster, my Holly Hunter only used the handrails to show me how he would skate them if he had his board. His only proclamations of love were to say, “For the love of fucking shit, why is Texas as hot as the surface of the sun?”
On his last night in my house, I got desperate. Assuming he needed the ultimate hint, I snuck into the room where he was sleeping, climbed on top of him, yanked off my shirt and put his hands on my bare chest. “I have a girlfriend,” he blurted, not without a touch of fear in his voice. “She goes to another school.”
Why was I the only pre-teen ready for a serious, adult relationship? When would someone want to talk with me at a coffee shop about Salinger and Kids in the Hall sketches? When would I find my true Holly Hunter?
The real tragedy is that nobody ever pulled me aside to gently inform me that some feelings I should keep inside, that not everybody deserves my truth. Or at least so much of my truth. Instead I was all alone and determined to find the one boy who wanted all of it, all of me, who loved my words first, my body second.
Wait.
My words first, my brain second, my bookshelves third, and then my body.
No—my mixtapes! Then my body.
At some point someone should have said to me, “Hey. You kind of have a weird idea of how love goes that seems completely based on things you’ve watched on television. True love isn’t just like that time on Laverne & Shirley when Carmine and some other guy were fighting over Shirley and they got into a fist fight and Shirley tried to break it up when Carmine accidentally punched her in the face. I don’t know why you think that’s what love feels like, but listen: that’s fucked up.”
Now that you can imagine the type of girl I was as I entered my very heady, super hormonal teen years, you should also know that I had a lot of time on my hands and access to a whole lot of paper. This was before the Internet (I would normally add a “thankfully” here, but since I’m not just uploading the contents of what I wrote, I’m going the extra step to publishing them, I have no reason to be grateful for anything, and nobody to blame but myself), so there was nothing to stop me that probably keeps other teens in check these days (i.e. bullying, public mockery). I spent many, many, way too many years writing love letters, poems, stories. I wrote obsessively. Compulsively. Constantly. And for the most part, I delivered those pages straight to their intended target.
But not before I saved myself a copy.
It’s likely I kept the first drafts and hand delivered the more refined, less scribbly revision. All I know is I have boxes of notebooks and folders filled with evidence that I spent the majority of my teen years being an accidental stalker.
This is where you probably ask, But why do you still have all those boxes of notebooks and folders? It’s a valid question. The only answer I can give you is, it’s not hoarding if it’s research.
I gift that statement to the other human magpies in the world, the ones who can’t bear to toss things that hold even the slightest sentimental value. As someone who has three large bowls filled with wine corks, I understand. For those of you who still have boxes stuffed with high school theatre T-shirts or every issue of Sassymagazine, I carry your heart. I carry your heart in my heart. And I put that heart in a drawer with a whole lot of other hearts and some keychains with bank logos on them and some photo booth strips I keep planning on framing one day in a cute way and an Altoids tin of three-hole punch brads because I have a compulsion to save that’s fueled by the fear of becoming meaningless. While most of you would probably not find it wise to publish your teenage diaries, it is an effective way to get people off your ass for saving all your shit, along with the bonus of a possible tax deduction once you reach Hoarding Level 3, also known as “I’d better rent a storage unit before I end up with a divorce.”
The first time I shared these letters and stories with my husband, we were still only dating at the time. I opened my gigantic green folder of past love and began reading one of the letters to him in an embarrassed, Gosh, remember when you used to be like this?sort of way.
I was a few sentences in when he closed his eyes. “Please stop,” he said, holding up his hand—palm out, as if he needed to shield his face from any further harm.
I was immediately sympathetic. “Oh. I’m sorry. Is it because I’m talking about past boyfriends? I get it. It’s hard to think of me loving someone else?”
“No, that’s not it,” he said, eyes still shut, shaking his head. “I’m mortified for you.”
There’s a certain face people make when they hear these letters. I’ve read them aloud at enough book readings and shows to be familiar with the normal human reaction. Every face is a little bit different in its severity, but it’s a clearly recognizable expression of horrified sympathy. The eyes squint, involuntarily, and the brow becomes rippled with angst. The mouth has two choices—either the lower lip drops, exposing the teeth in a way that, if the listener chose to speak, he would say something like: “Eeeech.” Or the mouth retreats, pulling back inside itself, teeth biting down—probably to keep from yelling at me, “Why are you doing this to yourself?!”
After a book reading last year, a woman around my age approached me, smiling nervously. “I just wanted to thank you for sharing your teen diaries with us,” she said. “It made me do something really important.”
Assuming she began mentoring at a high school or signed up to be a foster parent, I felt a swell of pride. “That’s great! What did you do?”
“I called my mom and told her to burn all my old diaries and journals. I told her where they were in the basement and I made sure she got rid of them. All of them. I couldn’t bear to imagine anyone finding them one day, even after I was dead, and reading them. You made me realize just how terrifying it would be if anybody ever saw them.”
I was still quite flattered.
Excerpted with permission from Rare Bird Books and Pamela Ribon, Notes to Boys, (c) 2014
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