Benjamin J. Carey's Blog, page 22
October 23, 2012
Running the ING NYC Marathon for the First Time: A Description of my Experience Before, During, and After Race Day, and Tips to Inspire you to the Finish Line. If I did it You Can!
"Running a marathon is much more than just a metaphor
in Benjamin Carey’s powerful memoir Barefoot in November..." [more]
August 30, 2012
The Great Cow Harbor 10k Race
The Great Cow Harbor 10k Race and Cow Harbor Day is a fun filled weekend for runners and their families. With Historic Northport Harbor as the backdrop for the event, runners can look forward to a scenic route through the quaint village and a range of activities for their children and family. There is a post race reception, a parade, craft fair, street vendors, antiquing, and much more.
There aren't many road races that offer this much excitement for the whole family. The run itself is nationally ranked by Runner's World and ESPN, however there is also a fun run for children and adults who aren't as competitive. Runners compete individually and on teams, many of which raise donations to benefit various charities.
This race is very sentimental to me, one that I wrote about in my book and I look forward to it every year. Come out and join me, or better yet join my charity team and help me raise donations for the American Heart Association. Register here , and then join our fundraising team here .
August 1, 2012
May 8, 2012
"...I learned that you never truly know how deeply you love someone until you are faced with the reality of possibly losing them..." -Erika Velez
From www.heartosaurus.com
Benjamin, "I came across your blog doing research before my dad's surgery. Not only was it informative, it was inspiring....I shared your story with my Dad before his surgery and I know he found it inspiring. I know because one of the very first days he felt barely "human" again, he said, and I quote..."I may be ready to run the NYC marathon." :) He uses that line here and there when speaking to people and doctors and while he is so very far from it, every time he says it, it makes my heart smile because I know something I shared with him inspired him and gave him hope. Thanks to you. Thank you Benjamin. May God bless you always."
On Monday evening November 21st 2011 I learned that my Father had something called an Aortic Aneurism most likely caused by a murmur. A murmur is a leaky valve that caused his heart to pump almost twice the volume of blood it was supposed to. This caused the Aorta, the heart’s main artery, to dilate or stretch out to the point where it was in danger of tearing. Had this happened, my Father would have died. I learned that this is what the late John Ritter died of. As did my dear friend Tony, may he rest in peace. I learned that this condition is usually without symptom and by the time symptoms present themselves, it is too late. I learned that we were Very Lucky to find this, had we not, my Dad would have been gone within the next 1-2 years.
What I learned next was the following-
I learned that six hours can feel like six hundred years
I learned what it feels like to have Nothing else to hold onto other than faith, prayer, more prayers, and everybody else’s prayers
I learned that the heart and the lungs can be stopped and a body kept alive
I learned that the human body’s temperature can be brought down to 90 degrees
I learned that the entire body’s blood content can be put on bypass and filtered through a man-made machine
I learned what very critical condition is
I learned that Life is so very fragile
I learned that a machine could beat your heart and breathe for you
I learned what that actually looks like, unfortunately
I learned that I do have the ability to not pass out when I convince myself to accept a reality - and that I do not have the ability not to pass out when the reality is too much for me to bare
I learned what a CSICU looks like
I learned what a person looks like with tubes coming out of everywhere
I learned what it is to truly Love someone
I learned that I am not the reason my mother lives and breathes, her husband is
I learned that my father can not exist without my mother and vice a versa
I learned that love is not romance. Love is cleaning, wiping, bathing, flossing, brushing and feeding someone when they can not do it for themselves
I learned that being able to do all of the above is a blessing and not something to be taken for granted
I learned that it is a privilege and an honor to watch the two people who gave me life, love each other in this way
I learned that God works through people – Surgeons, Doctors, Nurses, Scientists, medical Engineers
I learned that a stroke is a risk of open heart surgery
I learned that my daughters are Special little people not just because they are mine
I learned that Isabella is an incredibly brave and compassionate little girl and that she loves her Abuelo endlessly
I learned that Ariana is more patient than I ever thought possible spending entire days in a hospital lounge
I learned despair
I learned what if feels like to cry so hard that it brings you to your knees
I learned what a woman looks like moments after losing her husband of 42 years
I learned what it is to feel destroyed on the inside and blessed at the same time because my mother did not lose her husband
I learned that you never truly know how deeply you love someone until you are faced with the reality of possibly losing them
I learned how blessed I am for that fact that whenever my Father’s or my time is up on this Earth I will have already said all the things I ever wanted to say to him – many of us never have that opportunity
I learned that people’s imperfections do not make them imperfect
I learned that I am capable of forgiveness
I learned how terrifying and depleting it is to travel to Hell and back
I learned what it feels like to have a nightmare while you are Not sleeping
I learned that people mean as they Do, and not as they say
I learned that if you really want to help, you just do it, you don’t ask if or how you should
I learned what an integral part of my husband and I, my parents are
I learned what it feels like for us to be lonely
I learned what it’s like to not have a Christmas or New Year’s
I learned how heart breaking it feels for my children not to have a merry Christmas or a happy New Year’s at a time when in fact, they deserved it the Most
I learned what it’s like to have a birthday and not a Happy Birthday
I learned that the ICU, hospital, and rehabilitation center are no place to be on any of the above occasions
I learned what it is to meet a real life Angel in the form of an ICU Nurse
I learned that nine days in the ICU is an eternity
I learned that there are so many people in this world that love and care about my dad and they crawled out of the woodwork to show it
I learned that some bonds between people are forever no matter how much life gets in the way
I learned that the grandest expression of thoughtfulness can come in the form of “buñelos and natilla” in a paper bag, on Christmas Eve, in a hospital room
I learned that another person’s prayer for someone you love is a Gift
I learned that the man I married loves my father like his own
I learned this same man loves me more than I thought possible
I learned what circulatory arrest is
I learned what a gas embolism is
I learned what my father looks like when he can’t see, or move, or talk
I learned how difficult and exhausting it is to learn to move, and start to see and talk again
I learned what post operative psychosis is
I learned what my dad looks like when he is scared and lost
I learned that taking care of your body and getting regular check ups is important
I learned so many valuable things, and so many things that I never wanted to learn
But the most important thing of all, that I learned - is that you never know how truly strong you are until it is absolutely the Only choice you have.
I learned that I’m pretty f'ing Strong and that because of this, I am forever changed.
As you can imagine, my scars from this experience are still very raw and in the early stages of healing. Writing this, was therapeutic and for that I am grateful. A lot of the “things I learned” are incredibly intimate and personal. But sharing these thoughts is important to me because I believe there are many important lessons to be learned from this experience. I feel comforted by that fact that if just one lesson is learned, what my family has gone through is not in vain.
Erika M. Velez
My dad is 68yrs Old
Dr. Jock Nash McCullough saved him
Visit Erika's Blog
http://www.mydadsmendedheart.blogspot...
Benjamin, "I came across your blog doing research before my dad's surgery. Not only was it informative, it was inspiring....I shared your story with my Dad before his surgery and I know he found it inspiring. I know because one of the very first days he felt barely "human" again, he said, and I quote..."I may be ready to run the NYC marathon." :) He uses that line here and there when speaking to people and doctors and while he is so very far from it, every time he says it, it makes my heart smile because I know something I shared with him inspired him and gave him hope. Thanks to you. Thank you Benjamin. May God bless you always."
On Monday evening November 21st 2011 I learned that my Father had something called an Aortic Aneurism most likely caused by a murmur. A murmur is a leaky valve that caused his heart to pump almost twice the volume of blood it was supposed to. This caused the Aorta, the heart’s main artery, to dilate or stretch out to the point where it was in danger of tearing. Had this happened, my Father would have died. I learned that this is what the late John Ritter died of. As did my dear friend Tony, may he rest in peace. I learned that this condition is usually without symptom and by the time symptoms present themselves, it is too late. I learned that we were Very Lucky to find this, had we not, my Dad would have been gone within the next 1-2 years.
What I learned next was the following-
I learned that six hours can feel like six hundred years
I learned what it feels like to have Nothing else to hold onto other than faith, prayer, more prayers, and everybody else’s prayers
I learned that the heart and the lungs can be stopped and a body kept alive
I learned that the human body’s temperature can be brought down to 90 degrees
I learned that the entire body’s blood content can be put on bypass and filtered through a man-made machine
I learned what very critical condition is
I learned that Life is so very fragile
I learned that a machine could beat your heart and breathe for you
I learned what that actually looks like, unfortunately
I learned that I do have the ability to not pass out when I convince myself to accept a reality - and that I do not have the ability not to pass out when the reality is too much for me to bare
I learned what a CSICU looks like
I learned what a person looks like with tubes coming out of everywhere
I learned what it is to truly Love someone
I learned that I am not the reason my mother lives and breathes, her husband is
I learned that my father can not exist without my mother and vice a versa
I learned that love is not romance. Love is cleaning, wiping, bathing, flossing, brushing and feeding someone when they can not do it for themselves
I learned that being able to do all of the above is a blessing and not something to be taken for granted
I learned that it is a privilege and an honor to watch the two people who gave me life, love each other in this way
I learned that God works through people – Surgeons, Doctors, Nurses, Scientists, medical Engineers
I learned that a stroke is a risk of open heart surgery
I learned that my daughters are Special little people not just because they are mine
I learned that Isabella is an incredibly brave and compassionate little girl and that she loves her Abuelo endlessly
I learned that Ariana is more patient than I ever thought possible spending entire days in a hospital lounge
I learned despair
I learned what if feels like to cry so hard that it brings you to your knees
I learned what a woman looks like moments after losing her husband of 42 years
I learned what it is to feel destroyed on the inside and blessed at the same time because my mother did not lose her husband
I learned that you never truly know how deeply you love someone until you are faced with the reality of possibly losing them
I learned how blessed I am for that fact that whenever my Father’s or my time is up on this Earth I will have already said all the things I ever wanted to say to him – many of us never have that opportunity
I learned that people’s imperfections do not make them imperfect
I learned that I am capable of forgiveness
I learned how terrifying and depleting it is to travel to Hell and back
I learned what it feels like to have a nightmare while you are Not sleeping
I learned that people mean as they Do, and not as they say
I learned that if you really want to help, you just do it, you don’t ask if or how you should
I learned what an integral part of my husband and I, my parents are
I learned what it feels like for us to be lonely
I learned what it’s like to not have a Christmas or New Year’s
I learned how heart breaking it feels for my children not to have a merry Christmas or a happy New Year’s at a time when in fact, they deserved it the Most
I learned what it’s like to have a birthday and not a Happy Birthday
I learned that the ICU, hospital, and rehabilitation center are no place to be on any of the above occasions
I learned what it is to meet a real life Angel in the form of an ICU Nurse
I learned that nine days in the ICU is an eternity
I learned that there are so many people in this world that love and care about my dad and they crawled out of the woodwork to show it
I learned that some bonds between people are forever no matter how much life gets in the way
I learned that the grandest expression of thoughtfulness can come in the form of “buñelos and natilla” in a paper bag, on Christmas Eve, in a hospital room
I learned that another person’s prayer for someone you love is a Gift
I learned that the man I married loves my father like his own
I learned this same man loves me more than I thought possible
I learned what circulatory arrest is
I learned what a gas embolism is
I learned what my father looks like when he can’t see, or move, or talk
I learned how difficult and exhausting it is to learn to move, and start to see and talk again
I learned what post operative psychosis is
I learned what my dad looks like when he is scared and lost
I learned that taking care of your body and getting regular check ups is important
I learned so many valuable things, and so many things that I never wanted to learn
But the most important thing of all, that I learned - is that you never know how truly strong you are until it is absolutely the Only choice you have.
I learned that I’m pretty f'ing Strong and that because of this, I am forever changed.
As you can imagine, my scars from this experience are still very raw and in the early stages of healing. Writing this, was therapeutic and for that I am grateful. A lot of the “things I learned” are incredibly intimate and personal. But sharing these thoughts is important to me because I believe there are many important lessons to be learned from this experience. I feel comforted by that fact that if just one lesson is learned, what my family has gone through is not in vain.
Erika M. Velez
My dad is 68yrs Old
Dr. Jock Nash McCullough saved him
Visit Erika's Blog
http://www.mydadsmendedheart.blogspot...
January 30, 2012
Enter Valentine's Day Book Giveaway in Honor of Heart Month
.goodreadsGiveawayWidget { color: #555; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; background: white; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget img { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0 !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0; color: #660; text-decoration: none; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a:visted { color: #660; text-decoration: none; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a:hover { color: #660; text-decoration: underline !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget p { margin: 0 0 .5em !important; padding: 0; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidgetEnterLink { display: block; width: 150px; margin: 10px auto 0 !important; padding: 0px 5px !important; text-align: center; line-height: 1.8em; color: #222; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; border: 1px solid #6A6454; -moz-border-radius: 5px; -webkit-border-radius: 5px; font-family:arial,verdana,helvetica,sans-serif; background-image:url(http://goodreads.com/images/layout/gr... background-repeat: repeat-x; background-color:#BBB596; outline: 0; white-space: nowrap; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidgetEnterLink:hover { background-image:url(http://goodreads.com/images/layout/gr... color: black; text-decoration: none; cursor: pointer; }
Goodreads Book Giveaway
Barefoot in November
by Benjamin J. Carey
Giveaway ends February 14, 2012.
See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.Enter to win
Goodreads Book Giveaway
Barefoot in November
by Benjamin J. Carey
Giveaway ends February 14, 2012.
See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.Enter to win
January 20, 2012
Making your Dreams and New Year's Resolutions Come True
I have a pretty good life. It's far from perfect and I've been through some heartbreaking times, but overall I've managed to paint a nice life. I'm healthy, I have a beautiful wife and three children, a big house, meaningful relationships, and I make a good living doing what I love. I'm blessed, and extremely grateful, and I spend a significant amount of time working on charity projects like Heartosaurus to help others.
I get emails regularly from people that have read my book or been to one of my speaking engagements. How did you manage to run a marathon right after you had open heart surgery? How were you able to overcome your alcoholism, a.d.d., and depression? You were bankrupt; how did you turn that around? Often these people are facing challenges in their own lives. I don't have a magic answer for them. The truth is that the two main reasons I was able to persevere is that 1) I always kept a positive attitude even during the darkest moments of my life, and 2) I never gave up. Sometimes my optimism seemed foolish during moments of almost certain demise; but I ended up coming out on top because I never gave up. I believed that no matter what happened things would get better and I would reach my goals. My achievements revealed themselves in ways I had not expected. Things don't always happen exactly how you think they will; but if you keep a positive attitude and are ambitious your dreams will come true. People who are negative and complain don't go anywhere in life. They live in a rut, and are always looking to drag people into the mud with them. According to the laws of the universe if you stay positive and don't give up, it's nearly impossible for you to fail to reach your goals. You have to live, eat, and breathe them, and the more obstacles there are, the more diligent and unwavering you must be in your pursuit. Reaching some goals will feel like a marathon while others will seem like a sprint, but if you don't keep pushing ahead you'll never reach the finish line. When things seem farthest, you must have blind faith.
An essential part of making your dreams come true is to set lofty goals, break them down into smaller ones, and put them on paper. But that's not it. You need to give the goals life. You need to send their energy out into the universe to make them a "potential". This happens by visualizing them regularly, and by telling someone about them. By telling someone about your goal you give it life. Now there is more energy out there to help it become a reality. If you've read Bruce Lipton's "The Biology of Belief", Masaro Emoto's "The Hidden Messages in Water", or watched "The Secret", you know exactly what I'm talking about. This process has been a common denominator among the most successful and talented people in the world for decades and the author's above have honed in on certain aspects and brought it to the public eye.
Do you make a list of goals that excite you every New Year and break them down into smaller ones? Do you tell people about them? Do you have a dream board or at least some pictures of your goals? Do you visualize them and push forward executing the steps necessary to make them a reality? Put together a list of goals……..personal, financial, health, family………I'd like to hear them…...…make your dreams come true!
One of my health and fitness goals for 2012 is to run the Nashville Country Music Half Marathon. It looks like a blast. Anyone want to join me?
I get emails regularly from people that have read my book or been to one of my speaking engagements. How did you manage to run a marathon right after you had open heart surgery? How were you able to overcome your alcoholism, a.d.d., and depression? You were bankrupt; how did you turn that around? Often these people are facing challenges in their own lives. I don't have a magic answer for them. The truth is that the two main reasons I was able to persevere is that 1) I always kept a positive attitude even during the darkest moments of my life, and 2) I never gave up. Sometimes my optimism seemed foolish during moments of almost certain demise; but I ended up coming out on top because I never gave up. I believed that no matter what happened things would get better and I would reach my goals. My achievements revealed themselves in ways I had not expected. Things don't always happen exactly how you think they will; but if you keep a positive attitude and are ambitious your dreams will come true. People who are negative and complain don't go anywhere in life. They live in a rut, and are always looking to drag people into the mud with them. According to the laws of the universe if you stay positive and don't give up, it's nearly impossible for you to fail to reach your goals. You have to live, eat, and breathe them, and the more obstacles there are, the more diligent and unwavering you must be in your pursuit. Reaching some goals will feel like a marathon while others will seem like a sprint, but if you don't keep pushing ahead you'll never reach the finish line. When things seem farthest, you must have blind faith.
An essential part of making your dreams come true is to set lofty goals, break them down into smaller ones, and put them on paper. But that's not it. You need to give the goals life. You need to send their energy out into the universe to make them a "potential". This happens by visualizing them regularly, and by telling someone about them. By telling someone about your goal you give it life. Now there is more energy out there to help it become a reality. If you've read Bruce Lipton's "The Biology of Belief", Masaro Emoto's "The Hidden Messages in Water", or watched "The Secret", you know exactly what I'm talking about. This process has been a common denominator among the most successful and talented people in the world for decades and the author's above have honed in on certain aspects and brought it to the public eye.
Do you make a list of goals that excite you every New Year and break them down into smaller ones? Do you tell people about them? Do you have a dream board or at least some pictures of your goals? Do you visualize them and push forward executing the steps necessary to make them a reality? Put together a list of goals……..personal, financial, health, family………I'd like to hear them…...…make your dreams come true!
One of my health and fitness goals for 2012 is to run the Nashville Country Music Half Marathon. It looks like a blast. Anyone want to join me?
November 21, 2011
Thank you Tweeters!
Added one-thousandth follower on Twitter tonight. Very humbling. Thank you, I appreciate all of you!
November 11, 2011
November 10, 2011
Larry Davidson Interviews Benjamin
Larry Davidson, the host of Davidson & Co. interviews Benjamin about his memoir. Past guests on the show have included author Jeanette Walls, Nelson DeMille, and actor
November 6, 2011
ING New York City Marathon
Emotional cup of coffee this morning watching the start of the NYC marathon with my kids. I can't believe it's been two years since my open heart surgery, and a year since I ran. Both life-changing events.
November will never be the same in my family. We're organizing a team and getting out there again next year. Anyone interested in joining us can sign up here, we'd love to have you on Team Heartosaurus.
