Lia Fairchild's Blog - Posts Tagged "dreams"
It's Okay to be Selfish: Sometimes
Here's a new posting to the blog on my website. I thought you would find it interesting: http://www.liafairchild.com/?p=193
IT'S OKAY TO BE SELFISH: SOMETIMES
Yes, I’m talking to you, parents; anyone out there that is a parent to a child from newborn to eighteen years old. Right now you are in awe of your brand new baby or are gushing over your daughter’s first steps. Or maybe you are posting on Facebook about your middle-schooler’s honor roll award. All of these are great things to a parent, but don’t get lost in your child’s accomplishments. Don’t forget that once-upon-a-time you had dreams too. Handing over your whole life to your children not only gives them a false sense of entitlement, it also may leave you feeling bitter and full of regret when they leave you to pursue their own dreams. Don’t get me wrong, I am a proud mother of two and I would do anything for my children. I was one of those gushy parents I mention above; sometimes still am. But, I lost myself in being a parent. I wanted to be the best parent I could and thought that meant giving up anything I wanted for myself. Almost two years ago I turned forty and thought, “What have I done for the last twenty years?” Sure, I have a beautiful family and have successfully kept my children from killing each other or burning the house down. But I didn’t feel like I had accomplished any of the things I set out to do when I was dreaming of my future. Things change and plans change, but you can still dream for yourself at any age. That’s when I decided to write my first book. I had one goal; to finish. I just kept telling myself that it didn’t matter if people thought it was a stinker or not. Completing an entire novel was a great accomplishment and something to be proud of. I feel very lucky that so far it has been well received. I’ve always loved the art of creation and really felt the need to simply create something. Writing had always come naturally to me so the idea seemed like the perfect fit. Each of us needs to figure out that one thing that is going to make us feel complete and go for it. You will not only feel good about yourself, but you will be setting a great example for your children. In the end, pursuing your own dreams will help your children to one day pursue theirs.
IT'S OKAY TO BE SELFISH: SOMETIMES
Yes, I’m talking to you, parents; anyone out there that is a parent to a child from newborn to eighteen years old. Right now you are in awe of your brand new baby or are gushing over your daughter’s first steps. Or maybe you are posting on Facebook about your middle-schooler’s honor roll award. All of these are great things to a parent, but don’t get lost in your child’s accomplishments. Don’t forget that once-upon-a-time you had dreams too. Handing over your whole life to your children not only gives them a false sense of entitlement, it also may leave you feeling bitter and full of regret when they leave you to pursue their own dreams. Don’t get me wrong, I am a proud mother of two and I would do anything for my children. I was one of those gushy parents I mention above; sometimes still am. But, I lost myself in being a parent. I wanted to be the best parent I could and thought that meant giving up anything I wanted for myself. Almost two years ago I turned forty and thought, “What have I done for the last twenty years?” Sure, I have a beautiful family and have successfully kept my children from killing each other or burning the house down. But I didn’t feel like I had accomplished any of the things I set out to do when I was dreaming of my future. Things change and plans change, but you can still dream for yourself at any age. That’s when I decided to write my first book. I had one goal; to finish. I just kept telling myself that it didn’t matter if people thought it was a stinker or not. Completing an entire novel was a great accomplishment and something to be proud of. I feel very lucky that so far it has been well received. I’ve always loved the art of creation and really felt the need to simply create something. Writing had always come naturally to me so the idea seemed like the perfect fit. Each of us needs to figure out that one thing that is going to make us feel complete and go for it. You will not only feel good about yourself, but you will be setting a great example for your children. In the end, pursuing your own dreams will help your children to one day pursue theirs.
