Cameron Conaway's Blog - Posts Tagged "conversation"
On one uppers
You feel it when it happens. The conversation miraculously transitions from the story you were telling to their better or worse version. Your accomplishment, illness… whatever you were talking about becomes juxtaposed with theirs and, of course, it pales in comparison.
My default was to assume malicious intent, so I’d often feel disgusted when the shift happened. Now, I become curious, which to me is a much more interesting place to be than disgust.
That’s because there’s another side; not all one uppers are created equal.
Many do not have the tools to move conversations forward without shifting it to themselves. They find something relatable in what you said, and they latch on and take it from there. With this insight, it became clear to me that these types of one uppers are generally scared to or are not good at asking questions.
The next time you get one-upped, consider the intention. Was it driven by ego or an inability to ask?
My default was to assume malicious intent, so I’d often feel disgusted when the shift happened. Now, I become curious, which to me is a much more interesting place to be than disgust.
That’s because there’s another side; not all one uppers are created equal.
Many do not have the tools to move conversations forward without shifting it to themselves. They find something relatable in what you said, and they latch on and take it from there. With this insight, it became clear to me that these types of one uppers are generally scared to or are not good at asking questions.
The next time you get one-upped, consider the intention. Was it driven by ego or an inability to ask?
