Ginger Voight's Blog, page 27
October 24, 2012
#FavouriteMovieQuotes - Name some of mine and win free books!
#FavouriteMovieQuotes was trending on Twitter today, which made me smile. I love movie quotes and can often pop off with one for no particular reason at all. (Some movies I can quote verbatim, much to the annoyance of my DH, or darling hubby.) Rather than spam the Twitter feeds of all my followers, I thought I'd do a blog.
And since I'm doing a blog, I might as well do a contest.
Let's have some fun with this. I'll post some movie quotes and you guys can play along. Get as many of them as you can and you'll be entered in a drawing to win autographed copies of my popular GROUPIE saga, both books 1 and 2, (a $28 value,) or really any two books of mine you'd like to own autographed copies of. I'm flexible.
Here are the quotes. Send your answers in an email to: admin@gingervoight.com.
Play all the way to the end of the month. I'll announce the winner on November 1.
1.) "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
2.) "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request."
3.) "Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?"
4.) "Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass the asparagus, please."
5.) "You give us good salaries, paid vacations, insurance. You take away our problems and act like you've done us a favor. Well, you haven't, and some day there'll be an uprising, and the masses will regain the misery they're entitled to!"
6.) "Well forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!"
7.) "Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man."
8.) "Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language."
9.) "That ain't Lake Minnetonka."
10.) "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo."
11.) "That's good. A little anger. It's a bit late, but it's nice to see."
12.) "I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!"
13.) "Is this a kissing book?"
14.) "Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!"
15.) "I was jealous. I was so jealous of you I couldn't see straight! You did everything you said you were going to do, everything! And your talent, this incredible talent! I can't even yodel!"
16.) "Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table."
17.) "I was hiding under your porch because I love you."
18.) "This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center. It's relatively new."
19.) "Lost my muchness, have I?"
20.) "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."
Good luck! :)
And since I'm doing a blog, I might as well do a contest.
Let's have some fun with this. I'll post some movie quotes and you guys can play along. Get as many of them as you can and you'll be entered in a drawing to win autographed copies of my popular GROUPIE saga, both books 1 and 2, (a $28 value,) or really any two books of mine you'd like to own autographed copies of. I'm flexible.
Here are the quotes. Send your answers in an email to: admin@gingervoight.com.
Play all the way to the end of the month. I'll announce the winner on November 1.
1.) "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
2.) "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request."
3.) "Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?"
4.) "Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass the asparagus, please."
5.) "You give us good salaries, paid vacations, insurance. You take away our problems and act like you've done us a favor. Well, you haven't, and some day there'll be an uprising, and the masses will regain the misery they're entitled to!"
6.) "Well forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!"
7.) "Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man."
8.) "Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language."
9.) "That ain't Lake Minnetonka."
10.) "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo."
11.) "That's good. A little anger. It's a bit late, but it's nice to see."
12.) "I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!"
13.) "Is this a kissing book?"
14.) "Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!"
15.) "I was jealous. I was so jealous of you I couldn't see straight! You did everything you said you were going to do, everything! And your talent, this incredible talent! I can't even yodel!"
16.) "Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table."
17.) "I was hiding under your porch because I love you."
18.) "This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center. It's relatively new."
19.) "Lost my muchness, have I?"
20.) "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."
Good luck! :)
#FavouriteMovieQuotes - Win free books!
#FavouriteMovieQuotes was trending on Twitter today, which made me smile. I love movie quotes and can often pop off with one for no particular reason at all. (Some movies I can quote verbatim, much to the annoyance of my DH, or darling hubby.) Rather than spam the Twitter feeds of all my followers, I thought I'd do a blog.
And since I'm doing a blog, I might as well do a contest.
Let's have some fun with this. I'll post some movie quotes and you guys can play along. Get as many of them as you can and you'll be entered in a drawing to win autographed copies of my popular GROUPIE saga, both books 1 and 2, (a $28 value,) or really any two books of mine you'd like to own autographed copies of. I'm flexible.
Here are the quotes. Send your answers in an email to: admin@gingervoight.com.
Play all the way to the end of the month. I'll announce the winner on November 1.
1.) "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
2.) "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request."
3.) "Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?"
4.) "Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass the asparagus, please."
5.) "You give us good salaries, paid vacations, insurance. You take away our problems and act like you've done us a favor. Well, you haven't, and some day there'll be an uprising, and the masses will regain the misery they're entitled to!"
6.) "Well forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!"
7.) "Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man."
8.) "Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language."
9.) "That ain't Lake Minnetonka."
10.) "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo."
11.) "That's good. A little anger. It's a bit late, but it's nice to see."
12.) "I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!"
13.) "Is this a kissing book?"
14.) "Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!"
15.) "I was jealous. I was so jealous of you I couldn't see straight! You did everything you said you were going to do, everything! And your talent, this incredible talent! I can't even yodel!"
16.) "Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table."
17.) "I was hiding under your porch because I love you."
18.) "This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center. It's relatively new."
19.) "Lost my muchness, have I?"
20.) "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."
Good luck! :)
And since I'm doing a blog, I might as well do a contest.
Let's have some fun with this. I'll post some movie quotes and you guys can play along. Get as many of them as you can and you'll be entered in a drawing to win autographed copies of my popular GROUPIE saga, both books 1 and 2, (a $28 value,) or really any two books of mine you'd like to own autographed copies of. I'm flexible.
Here are the quotes. Send your answers in an email to: admin@gingervoight.com.
Play all the way to the end of the month. I'll announce the winner on November 1.
1.) "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
2.) "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request."
3.) "Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?"
4.) "Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass the asparagus, please."
5.) "You give us good salaries, paid vacations, insurance. You take away our problems and act like you've done us a favor. Well, you haven't, and some day there'll be an uprising, and the masses will regain the misery they're entitled to!"
6.) "Well forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!"
7.) "Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man."
8.) "Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language."
9.) "That ain't Lake Minnetonka."
10.) "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo."
11.) "That's good. A little anger. It's a bit late, but it's nice to see."
12.) "I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!"
13.) "Is this a kissing book?"
14.) "Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!"
15.) "I was jealous. I was so jealous of you I couldn't see straight! You did everything you said you were going to do, everything! And your talent, this incredible talent! I can't even yodel!"
16.) "Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table."
17.) "I was hiding under your porch because I love you."
18.) "This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center. It's relatively new."
19.) "Lost my muchness, have I?"
20.) "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."
Good luck! :)
September 24, 2012
Rock Star, the sequel to Groupie, Available NOW!!
You've been waiting for it and it's finally here! ROCK STAR is available for your Kindle and as a paperback, and will be released for the Nook and through Apple and Sony shortly.
Also available for your Kindle, a GROUPIE/ROCK STAR ebook bundle! If you're new to the series or want to introduce your friends and family to the romantic saga of Andy and Giovanni, you can now purchase both books in a convenient, economical package.
Don't forget you can still enter to win one of five autographed copies of ROCK STAR through Goodreads through the month of September. Good luck!
I've had a lot of readers express how excited they were for this release. I'd like to thank you all for your patience and your support for this story and these characters. They are a lot of fun to write and I truly enjoyed revisiting them. I hope you do too! Don't forget to rate/review. I love to hear your feedback.
In the meantime here's some mood music... you can figure out where these songs inspired me during the story as you read along. ;)
Also available for your Kindle, a GROUPIE/ROCK STAR ebook bundle! If you're new to the series or want to introduce your friends and family to the romantic saga of Andy and Giovanni, you can now purchase both books in a convenient, economical package.
Don't forget you can still enter to win one of five autographed copies of ROCK STAR through Goodreads through the month of September. Good luck!
I've had a lot of readers express how excited they were for this release. I'd like to thank you all for your patience and your support for this story and these characters. They are a lot of fun to write and I truly enjoyed revisiting them. I hope you do too! Don't forget to rate/review. I love to hear your feedback.
In the meantime here's some mood music... you can figure out where these songs inspired me during the story as you read along. ;)
September 13, 2012
My Immortal - a labor of love.
Last year I published my paranormal romance "My Immortal," a story about a troubled young woman who finds the purpose for her future tied up in the secret of her past. She grows up believing she is corrupted and undeserving of love, so her entire existence is crafted around earning her right to even exist. She does this mostly through her journalism career, where she tracks down the scourge of the earth and rights all the wrongs that occur int he world around her.
The story picks up when our heroine Adele is tracking a serial killer attacking innocent children in her town. The sheer heinousness of the crimes infiltrates her troubled dreams, which have always been a landmine of unmanageable emotional debris. She comes to find that solving the latter may actually be the key to solving the former, especially when it seems that the killer is striking closer and closer to home.
As she spirals emotionally out of control her path crosses with a beautiful and charming stranger - who sees her in a way she never has dared to see herself. He offers her romance and she finds herself pulled toward this man who feels strangely familiar though they only just met. Nicholas Sterling awakes something in Adele that she never thought was possible.
He even manages the impossible: he brings her peace. He chases away her lifelong torment of nightmares and offers her a protection she never before thought she needed.
Meanwhile her lifelong friend Michael watches on as this smooth operator swoops in to romance a woman he has loved from afar since they were children. She put up her walls against the love she long ago recognized in her best friend's eyes, leaving him to find solace in the priesthood as he was kept at the fringe of her world. Now another man has crossed the threshold almost immediately, leaving the stalwart Michael bereft and unsure what to do to protect her.
In this stark juxtaposition of terror and romance, Adele finds herself falling in love while she's falling apart. She meets a cryptic stranger that lets her know she is far more connected to the killer than she would fear from her psychic dreams. It soon dawns on her that her connection to Nicholas is not a coincidence. Their love is too powerful to be new...she finally realizes it is an echo that reaches back centuries.
It is a love that ultimately demands everything. Though she long believed she had to fight for a purpose, Adele had been born with a purpose. Only she can bring an end to the reign of terror this killer has brought upon her town. She has to take a stand and possibly lose everyone she loves most in the world, to sacrifice against an evil that has risen from the ages - even if it costs her the love of more than one lifetime.
In "My Immortal" I explore the idea of soul mates and the immortal nature of love. I did this because of my own journey to love through loss, and dedicated this book - rightly so - to my first husband, Daniel. His fingerprint left an indelible mark on my life that reaches far beyond the clutches of death.
The story picks up when our heroine Adele is tracking a serial killer attacking innocent children in her town. The sheer heinousness of the crimes infiltrates her troubled dreams, which have always been a landmine of unmanageable emotional debris. She comes to find that solving the latter may actually be the key to solving the former, especially when it seems that the killer is striking closer and closer to home.
As she spirals emotionally out of control her path crosses with a beautiful and charming stranger - who sees her in a way she never has dared to see herself. He offers her romance and she finds herself pulled toward this man who feels strangely familiar though they only just met. Nicholas Sterling awakes something in Adele that she never thought was possible.
He even manages the impossible: he brings her peace. He chases away her lifelong torment of nightmares and offers her a protection she never before thought she needed.
Meanwhile her lifelong friend Michael watches on as this smooth operator swoops in to romance a woman he has loved from afar since they were children. She put up her walls against the love she long ago recognized in her best friend's eyes, leaving him to find solace in the priesthood as he was kept at the fringe of her world. Now another man has crossed the threshold almost immediately, leaving the stalwart Michael bereft and unsure what to do to protect her.
In this stark juxtaposition of terror and romance, Adele finds herself falling in love while she's falling apart. She meets a cryptic stranger that lets her know she is far more connected to the killer than she would fear from her psychic dreams. It soon dawns on her that her connection to Nicholas is not a coincidence. Their love is too powerful to be new...she finally realizes it is an echo that reaches back centuries.
It is a love that ultimately demands everything. Though she long believed she had to fight for a purpose, Adele had been born with a purpose. Only she can bring an end to the reign of terror this killer has brought upon her town. She has to take a stand and possibly lose everyone she loves most in the world, to sacrifice against an evil that has risen from the ages - even if it costs her the love of more than one lifetime.
In "My Immortal" I explore the idea of soul mates and the immortal nature of love. I did this because of my own journey to love through loss, and dedicated this book - rightly so - to my first husband, Daniel. His fingerprint left an indelible mark on my life that reaches far beyond the clutches of death.
September 1, 2012
Save the Date: Groupie's Sequel ROCK STAR Releases September 2012
September 25 has been a rather special day throughout my history, including when I met my best friend in 1980:
And when I met my first husband, Daniel, in 1987.
Now we can add the "birth" of my newest baby: "Rock Star."
"Rock Star" is the highly anticipated sequel to my Rock and Roll Rubenesque saga that began with the sizzling debut of "Groupie." For those who have been anxious to see what has become of Andy, Vanni and Graham... buckle your seat belts. You're in for a thrilling new ride right through the dark underbelly of fame. I hold nothing back and spare no one.
In the second book in the series, readers get insight into the mind of the romantic hero, Giovanni Carnevale, as he reaches the pinnacle of success as a world wide rock star. Everyone wants a piece of him, but all he wants is the one thing he can't have. He's angry and he's entitled, with ample opportunity to make really bad decisions. The combination proves explosive.
Andy must watch from the sidelines as her beloved Vanni falls victim to grifters, scandals and alcoholism thanks to this self-destructive behavior. Things come to an emotional head when his estranged father comes on the scene just when Vanni thinks things can't get any worse.
Darkness shadows Graham Baxter as he begins his journey as a paraplegic. The powerful mogul bitterly handles this new vulnerability by lashing out at the people who could help him the most. He needs Andy more than ever, pulling her in yet another hopeless direction. Andy is put in the impossible situation of keeping the most important promise she has ever made, or saving the man that she can't help but love.
I get to turn up the scandals, secrets, passion and heartbreak to 11 in a very Jackie Collins type of way. Flawed characters face excess and all the pitfalls that entails. They fight as hard as they can to hold onto anything real in the fake world of celebrity.
It's a fun little sandbox in which to play around. I look forward to your joining me on the next leg of our journey.
Enter to win one of five autographed copies of the paperback, courtesy of Goodreads, from now until the end of September.
And when I met my first husband, Daniel, in 1987.
Now we can add the "birth" of my newest baby: "Rock Star."
"Rock Star" is the highly anticipated sequel to my Rock and Roll Rubenesque saga that began with the sizzling debut of "Groupie." For those who have been anxious to see what has become of Andy, Vanni and Graham... buckle your seat belts. You're in for a thrilling new ride right through the dark underbelly of fame. I hold nothing back and spare no one.
In the second book in the series, readers get insight into the mind of the romantic hero, Giovanni Carnevale, as he reaches the pinnacle of success as a world wide rock star. Everyone wants a piece of him, but all he wants is the one thing he can't have. He's angry and he's entitled, with ample opportunity to make really bad decisions. The combination proves explosive.
Andy must watch from the sidelines as her beloved Vanni falls victim to grifters, scandals and alcoholism thanks to this self-destructive behavior. Things come to an emotional head when his estranged father comes on the scene just when Vanni thinks things can't get any worse.
Darkness shadows Graham Baxter as he begins his journey as a paraplegic. The powerful mogul bitterly handles this new vulnerability by lashing out at the people who could help him the most. He needs Andy more than ever, pulling her in yet another hopeless direction. Andy is put in the impossible situation of keeping the most important promise she has ever made, or saving the man that she can't help but love.
I get to turn up the scandals, secrets, passion and heartbreak to 11 in a very Jackie Collins type of way. Flawed characters face excess and all the pitfalls that entails. They fight as hard as they can to hold onto anything real in the fake world of celebrity.
It's a fun little sandbox in which to play around. I look forward to your joining me on the next leg of our journey.
Enter to win one of five autographed copies of the paperback, courtesy of Goodreads, from now until the end of September.
August 30, 2012
Can a Good Man Love a Size 16 Woman?
This was a search phrase that brought someone over to my personal blog this past week. I had written a diatribe against the notion Rubenesque romances were unrealistic simply because most men (and certainly all "good" ones) couldn't possibly want a fattie. For the (female) blogger who made this assertion, this included any woman over a size 6. So me being me, I proceeded to feature hot superbabes who ranged in size from an 8 (Beyonce) to a size 16 (model Crystal Renn) in order to show how beauty comes in all sorts of packages.
Trust me, when straight guys are looking at women like Sofia Vergara, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson and Christina Hendricks, they couldn't care less what the number is on the label of their clothes. They're kinda too busy doing this...
I'm a proud writer of Rubenesque fiction because I refuse to buy into this cultural mindset women only are as valuable as the size dress they wear. Femininity is a beautiful mosaic that we forfeit for some tired ol' paper doll template with very little wiggle room. (Literally.) We're inundated in the media with this physical ideal of what women are supposed to look like, which is reinforced in movies and in books to drive it home that if you want a prince charming, you have to be perfect (i.e. young, thin, beautiful.) Any woman who finds love, then, should fit into this narrow example. We see this perpetrated over and over again to the point we accept it as the ultimate "fantasy" of what our happily ever after should look like. All you have to do is dye away the drab, fix or prevent those wrinkles, stuff down those love handles, pluck, tuck and otherwise change everything about you.
If you go by this media standard, then I guess the answer to "Can a good man love a size 16 woman?" is "Are you freaking kidding me?"
By no small coincidence this mindset helps sell magazines and fuels multi-billion dollar diet, beauty and fashion industries. No matter what is wrong with you, there's a product on some shelf to help fix it. We are continually (and successfully) sold this bill of goods that the only things we need to worry about are how to lose those pesky extra pounds and how to find/land/keep a man. Go stand in any grocery store checkout line anywhere and peruse all those blurbs meant to entice you into picking up and buying a woman's magazine.
What is the media telling you about yourself? It's telling you that you are one hot mess, and only their sage and all-knowing advice can save you from your biggest problem. You know... YOU.
I'll let you in on a little secret and save you about $5 on that magazine...it's all hogwash.
Men aren't nearly as obsessed about our weight as we are. They know what they like when they see it, but that runs the gamut between slender and athletic to voluptuous and "womanly". Many men like curves. Studies have even suggested they are biologically predisposed to. They salivate over buxom beauties that are closer to a double digit size than a size 0. We fixate on that stupid scale while, honestly, they're more concerned with how confidently we carry what we got. This is why the average American woman can be an unforgivable size 12 yet still find a husband, have a family and generally enjoy life despite what the media would have her believe.
The real world application of sexual attraction is a little more complex than what you see on a magazine.
Some men even find what we consider our fatal flaws kinda sexy. It means we're not perfect. When you think about it that's a lot of pressure to put on a mate.
In fact, judging that all men can only love a certain size woman isn't giving guys a whole lot of credit. Sure they are visually stimulated creatures who have a propensity to think with their penises. But shouldn't the guy you're with be able to love all the things that make you uniquely you the same way you love all the things that make him uniquely him? I mean... isn't that what the ideal of love truly is? Being unconditionally accepted and valued for who you truly are, warts and all?
The real-world answer of "Can a good man love a size 16 woman" is a resounding yes. Thankfully for all the people who don't fit in the paint-by-numbers boxes of mainstream media (which is the majority of us) love isn't a formula. Good men can love a size 12, a size 2, a size 24 and a size 10. It's not about the *size* - it's about the woman inside. It's a novel idea, really... that someone can be loved for the sum of their parts and not just a temporary condition like an outer appearance.
In my not-so-humble opinion this is the very quality that makes them "good men." If you've been dumped on your ample fanny because some guy couldn't handle your extra padding, the problem isn't really yours. It's his for being a superficial jerk. Wipe that dirt off your shoulder and move on. One day you'll be so thankful he dumped you so that a truly good man could find you and give you all the love that other guy didn't think you deserved.
But let me also propose this: if a "good" man dumps a size 16 woman, it probably has nothing to do with her size. More than likely it has everything to do with how she views herself because of that size.
See, this is really the crux of the whole problem. I can bet you the woman who asked that question had just been dissed by the guy she fancied and it probably wasn't the first time. This is a pattern that has repeated, so she ended up in that spot where she wondered, "What's wrong with ME?" since clearly she is the common denominator.
If you're being continually dumped by otherwise good men, it may indeed be something you're doing wrong. But that has dick to do with the size you wear. Despite what our culture will tell you, being overweight is not a personality flaw or inherent failure. It's simply a physical condition. Carrying a few extra pounds isn't really even a "bad" condition, despite being "aesthetically displeasing" to many. Some detractors will jump on the "health" bandwagon of fat-shaming but the simple truth is you can't determine someone's health by the weight they carry, and that's usually just a straw man argument anyway. The teenage boy mooing at you at the grocery store couldn't give a rat's ass if you are in more danger of developing heart disease or diabetes anymore than that guy at the bar sizing up the hot chick with a cigarette in one hand and a martini in the other cares much about her liver or her lungs.
It's not about health, it's about fat. And here's the great thing about fat... you can lose it. No, really. You can. If you think your weight is holding you back most of the time there are steps you can take to change your current physical condition. The problem isn't with the weight. It's with your attitude. If you don't love yourself you're not going to do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Period. So whether you plan to stay a size 16 or not, eventually you're going to have to give up hating your own body.
A remarkable thing happens the minute you do. The people around you then begin to treat you with the same respect you show yourself. The person most guilty of not being able to love the size 16 woman is the size 16 woman. Societal distaste aside, odds are the one beating you up most for being a size 16 is you. You've bought into the fantasy the media sold you. If you were a size 4 and a guy didn't love you, you wouldn't blame your size. So that means you accept inferiority based on nothing more than a dress size, which kinda makes you the superficial douchenozzle and not the guy at all.
Worse...if you think no one can love you because of your size then that sadly becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. You're never going to believe that a man could love you despite your size because you clearly don't. Even if you do luck out and find "a good man," he begins the fruitless endeavor to fill the holes you keep gouging in your own self-esteem. Anyone trying fill that bottomless pit of validation will inevitably tire from the strain.
Even some of those "good" men.
Can a good man love a size 16 woman? I argue that only the best men can. So do your part to hang onto them... love yourself as unconditionally as you wish to be loved and give these poor guys a break.
Trust me, when straight guys are looking at women like Sofia Vergara, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson and Christina Hendricks, they couldn't care less what the number is on the label of their clothes. They're kinda too busy doing this...
I'm a proud writer of Rubenesque fiction because I refuse to buy into this cultural mindset women only are as valuable as the size dress they wear. Femininity is a beautiful mosaic that we forfeit for some tired ol' paper doll template with very little wiggle room. (Literally.) We're inundated in the media with this physical ideal of what women are supposed to look like, which is reinforced in movies and in books to drive it home that if you want a prince charming, you have to be perfect (i.e. young, thin, beautiful.) Any woman who finds love, then, should fit into this narrow example. We see this perpetrated over and over again to the point we accept it as the ultimate "fantasy" of what our happily ever after should look like. All you have to do is dye away the drab, fix or prevent those wrinkles, stuff down those love handles, pluck, tuck and otherwise change everything about you.
If you go by this media standard, then I guess the answer to "Can a good man love a size 16 woman?" is "Are you freaking kidding me?"
By no small coincidence this mindset helps sell magazines and fuels multi-billion dollar diet, beauty and fashion industries. No matter what is wrong with you, there's a product on some shelf to help fix it. We are continually (and successfully) sold this bill of goods that the only things we need to worry about are how to lose those pesky extra pounds and how to find/land/keep a man. Go stand in any grocery store checkout line anywhere and peruse all those blurbs meant to entice you into picking up and buying a woman's magazine.
What is the media telling you about yourself? It's telling you that you are one hot mess, and only their sage and all-knowing advice can save you from your biggest problem. You know... YOU.
I'll let you in on a little secret and save you about $5 on that magazine...it's all hogwash.
Men aren't nearly as obsessed about our weight as we are. They know what they like when they see it, but that runs the gamut between slender and athletic to voluptuous and "womanly". Many men like curves. Studies have even suggested they are biologically predisposed to. They salivate over buxom beauties that are closer to a double digit size than a size 0. We fixate on that stupid scale while, honestly, they're more concerned with how confidently we carry what we got. This is why the average American woman can be an unforgivable size 12 yet still find a husband, have a family and generally enjoy life despite what the media would have her believe.
The real world application of sexual attraction is a little more complex than what you see on a magazine.
Some men even find what we consider our fatal flaws kinda sexy. It means we're not perfect. When you think about it that's a lot of pressure to put on a mate.
In fact, judging that all men can only love a certain size woman isn't giving guys a whole lot of credit. Sure they are visually stimulated creatures who have a propensity to think with their penises. But shouldn't the guy you're with be able to love all the things that make you uniquely you the same way you love all the things that make him uniquely him? I mean... isn't that what the ideal of love truly is? Being unconditionally accepted and valued for who you truly are, warts and all?
The real-world answer of "Can a good man love a size 16 woman" is a resounding yes. Thankfully for all the people who don't fit in the paint-by-numbers boxes of mainstream media (which is the majority of us) love isn't a formula. Good men can love a size 12, a size 2, a size 24 and a size 10. It's not about the *size* - it's about the woman inside. It's a novel idea, really... that someone can be loved for the sum of their parts and not just a temporary condition like an outer appearance.
In my not-so-humble opinion this is the very quality that makes them "good men." If you've been dumped on your ample fanny because some guy couldn't handle your extra padding, the problem isn't really yours. It's his for being a superficial jerk. Wipe that dirt off your shoulder and move on. One day you'll be so thankful he dumped you so that a truly good man could find you and give you all the love that other guy didn't think you deserved.
But let me also propose this: if a "good" man dumps a size 16 woman, it probably has nothing to do with her size. More than likely it has everything to do with how she views herself because of that size.
See, this is really the crux of the whole problem. I can bet you the woman who asked that question had just been dissed by the guy she fancied and it probably wasn't the first time. This is a pattern that has repeated, so she ended up in that spot where she wondered, "What's wrong with ME?" since clearly she is the common denominator.
If you're being continually dumped by otherwise good men, it may indeed be something you're doing wrong. But that has dick to do with the size you wear. Despite what our culture will tell you, being overweight is not a personality flaw or inherent failure. It's simply a physical condition. Carrying a few extra pounds isn't really even a "bad" condition, despite being "aesthetically displeasing" to many. Some detractors will jump on the "health" bandwagon of fat-shaming but the simple truth is you can't determine someone's health by the weight they carry, and that's usually just a straw man argument anyway. The teenage boy mooing at you at the grocery store couldn't give a rat's ass if you are in more danger of developing heart disease or diabetes anymore than that guy at the bar sizing up the hot chick with a cigarette in one hand and a martini in the other cares much about her liver or her lungs.
It's not about health, it's about fat. And here's the great thing about fat... you can lose it. No, really. You can. If you think your weight is holding you back most of the time there are steps you can take to change your current physical condition. The problem isn't with the weight. It's with your attitude. If you don't love yourself you're not going to do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Period. So whether you plan to stay a size 16 or not, eventually you're going to have to give up hating your own body.
A remarkable thing happens the minute you do. The people around you then begin to treat you with the same respect you show yourself. The person most guilty of not being able to love the size 16 woman is the size 16 woman. Societal distaste aside, odds are the one beating you up most for being a size 16 is you. You've bought into the fantasy the media sold you. If you were a size 4 and a guy didn't love you, you wouldn't blame your size. So that means you accept inferiority based on nothing more than a dress size, which kinda makes you the superficial douchenozzle and not the guy at all.
Worse...if you think no one can love you because of your size then that sadly becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. You're never going to believe that a man could love you despite your size because you clearly don't. Even if you do luck out and find "a good man," he begins the fruitless endeavor to fill the holes you keep gouging in your own self-esteem. Anyone trying fill that bottomless pit of validation will inevitably tire from the strain.
Even some of those "good" men.
Can a good man love a size 16 woman? I argue that only the best men can. So do your part to hang onto them... love yourself as unconditionally as you wish to be loved and give these poor guys a break.
April 8, 2012
New Kindle release "Picture Postcards"
If you've been itching for a new contemporary Rubeneseque romance, I just released my novel "Picture Postcards" for your Kindle. (And if you're on All Romance eBooks, for your Kindle and various other e-readers as well.) Technically "Picture Postcards" was the second novel that I wrote. I completed it in 1995, right after the sudden death of my youngest son, Brandon. I spent two months crafting what I wanted to be akin to the romantic comedies I so enjoyed watching. Needless to say I needed the lightheartedness of such a story in such a dark time, and it totally fit the bill. It had a fairy tale feel about it, much like "Sleepless in Seattle," and was written entirely because Harlequin put out a call for any romances that revolved around the written word.My idea was originally very simple: have a young woman intercept romantic but anonymous picture postcards written to someone else. Hilarity would then ensue as she tried to piece together the mystery that would result in her finally meeting the man of her dreams that she had the misfortune to find through someone else's mail.Ultimately this book would be the first to get legitimate interest from an agent and I was signed in 1997. However many publishers felt the heroine was "too perfect." (Some even felt it was more suited to the screen, which made me convert it to screenplay form years later. I shelved it to work on other projects, but it was a very pivotal book for me in my development as a writer.)Eventually I would learn the more flawed a heroine was the more I enjoyed writing them. It made Picture Postcards stronger for the lead character of Caitlin to have certain quirks and an endearing naivete that got her into trouble more often than not. As time wore on I was able to fix the existing problems but I wasn't sure how I could save the dated plot. Our world is super-connected now where it wasn't back in the mid-90s when I originally crafted the story. It was harder to sell a concept that a couple of lovers would lose touch over several weeks or months just because they were on opposite sides of the world. Thanks to email, Facebook, cell phones and Skype, there is no opposite side of the world anymore. Even my best friend and I chat for hours every night despite being hundreds of miles apart. If he were to vanish into thin air it wouldn't take weeks or months for me to notice. This threw my whole "fairy tale" concept into a blender and made me almost permanently shelve the project. But then I had an inspired stroke of creativity that put the whole thing back on track so I could bring it to you, a more mature evolved piece that is fun, romantic and a little fanciful. Kind of like the person who wrote it. ;)I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Description:When full-figured Caitlin O'Neil moves to Los Angeles to begin her career as a creative director at the up and coming art gallery, she feels confident that after years of self-imposed celibacy she can find a suitable gent for a long awaited romance.Los Angeles was a sea of millions of souls, how hard could it be to land one who was intelligent, kind, romantic and appreciated a successful, fun-loving gal with generous curves?After a few disastrous non-starts, however, Caitlin decides romance is a safer concept when contained within her mailbox. Anonymous and poetic picture postcards arrive every week without fail, addressed to the former occupant, and weave a romantic mystery reality can't quite match.Around the time they stop, a couple of men enter Cait's life who turn her heart upside down. One is the suave and sophisticated Reuben, who whisks her away on unforgettable dates to sweep her completely off her feet. Her other steady is her best friend Robert, a romantic cynic who keeps her laughing and always comes to her rescue when she needs him the most. Will they be able to fill the gap by the mysterious postcard writer?Or, as the postcards mysteriously start up again - this time to Caitlin herself, could it be possible that one of these two very different men the man she'd been dreaming of all along?It's just a contemporary fairy tale, courtesy of the United States Postal Service. Read sample chapter here.
March 15, 2012
American Idol Top 11 Perform Songs from the Year of Their Birth
By now we are all aware that Jermaine Jones - otherwise known as the Gentle Giant - was disqualified from American Idol because of outstanding warrants, but the story indeed may go much deeper than that with TMZ reporting how the absent father cried fowl on Jermaine's emotional back story.
All I know is they brought back a contestant, which they have never before done, adding a "spare" to the top 24 and it is that "spare" who gets eliminated the same night we'll whittle the group down to the Top 10, i.e. the official tour lineup.
Had Idol not televised this confrontation between Jermaine and the producers we might have brushed it off as business as usual, but this time it sounds more like a cheap marketing ploy to get some extra ratings. It was all very sensationalistic, even for Idol.
Forgive me for being skeptical but I don't buy it. Surely these folks have been burned enough in the past to do a thorough background check on these folks prior to the live shows.
AT ANY RATE...
The YOB theme is always iffy given the huge wealth of songs each contestant has to choose from. Anything can happen, but generally one brave soul will sing a song we're not so familiar with, some will sing older songs that technically qualify because they were made in the year of their birth and some will take on songs from singers they have no business trying to emulate.
In other words, we're in for a more critical review of tonight's performance show.
Phillip Phillips started the festivities with "Hard to Handle" by the Black Crowes. That I didn't pick it yesterday was a total oversight on my part, it is kinda the perfect song for him. Given the dude just had surgery he really rocked his choice and started the show off right. But even still, I haven't connected to him emotionally yet. I can't tell you why. There's no real reason. Without his guitar he looks a bit awkward, but it may be just a Joe Cocker type of spastic that just comes with that type of performer. I guess I'll have to get used to it.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 5
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Strong
Jessica Sanchez chose wisely (i.e. sang a song off my wish list from yesterday) with "Turn the Beat Around." TECHNICALLY it's a disco hit but Gloria Estefan breathed some flavor into it in 1995 when our youngest contestant was born. She came out belting it out just like disco diva in her sparkly pants. She also owned that stage with a prowess way beyond her tender 16 years. This girl is a major contender because she can do more than the ballad, no matter what the judges say. LOVE this girl. Let her spread her wings however she wants, guys.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong
Heejun Han picked "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx. Another ballad. Color me surprised. Instead of telling me how funny this guy is, why can't we see his personality on the stage? My patience is wearing thin. If he gets through to next week and does another ballad, I'm afraid he'll earn himself a zero.
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 3
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 14
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Our 1983 baby, Elise Testone, picked "Let's Stay Together" and had an impromptu sing-off with President Obama. That was kinda righteous and made my whole night, frankly. I loved that she went back to her songstress roots with this song. She had a lot more confidence with this song than the Whitney debacle of last week. It was good to see. By the end I really didn't see much to criticize. Let's hope her fans rally to keep her in the competition.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Good
Oh, DeAndre. My sweet little DeAndre Brackensick. I love you. I do. But you just committed a Geevie Idol Sin by singing one of my most hated songs, EVER. NO. NO NO NO. They should have let him sing Disney. Blame Jimmy Iovine but... I had to fast-forward.
Vocals: 4 (Based on past performances)
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 0
Total: 12
Probability of moving on: It's in his fans' hands now.
(Dre, hon, if you stay, next time check my blog. I won't steer you wrong, sweetie.)
Shannon Magrane had the choice to do No Doubt's "Don't Speak" but opted to take on Mariah Carey and Boys II Men.
:-|
Another ballad. Surprise, surprise. She could have done something more youthful and exciting but no. She took on Mariah Carey. BIG mistake. You should never attempt to sing a Mariah song UNLESS you can sing it better than Mariah. And Shannon can't. Another misstep.
But at least she dressed young. Progress?
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 1
Total: 16
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Colton Dixon sang White Lion and stayed true to some harder rock roots, which is always good to hear. But he, like Phillip, leaves me cold for some unknown reason. I'm missing the star quality of Adam Lambert and swagger of Daughtry. Colton sounds the same on every single song he sings, no matter what he sings. At this point it's really take it or leave it with me, but at least it was more exciting than a ballad, which makes him invaluable to this season.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4 (White Lion = good. Unknown song = risky.)
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Good
Erika Van Pelt, our EVP, chose - guess what - ANOTHER BALLAD.
:-|
I just really don't even know what to say. She's just not living up to the potential she alone has to be a standout artist this year. I'm so frustrated. Like Heejun, if she gets through to next week and does another ballad, it's zeroes from here on out.
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 15
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Jimmy tried to steer Skylar Laine away from her 1992 Bonnie Raitt pick, "Love's Sneaking Up On You." I'm not really thrilled by her original choice given the material she could have picked, including Faith Hill's "Piece of My Heart" - which would have given her a chance to rock with southern flavor. Pretty boring overall. Another missed opportunity.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 2
Total: 19
Probability of moving on: Good
Thank God for Joshua Ledet. My hair is STILL tingling. Serve that man crawfish before each and every performance. It didn't hurt his song was my fantasy pick, "When a Man Loves a Woman," which puts me two for two for the evening. And two of my favorite performances at that.
Go figure.
This boy evokes ghosts of Sam Cooke or Jackie Wilson on stage. I think the only thing I've ever thanked Michael Bolton for was that he released this remake in the year Joshua was born so he could sing it.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong
Hollie Cavanagh sang a ballad but she can. And she should. She picked Celine Dion which is risky business for any lesser singer, but Hollie can pull something this epic off almost effortlessly.
*Almost.*
This is one of my favorite Celine Dion songs of all time and it has deep personal meaning to me, so I've heard (and sung) "The Power of Love" quite a lot since 1994. That's why it was easy for me to tell whenever she slid off-key, which is easy to do with that kind of monster song. For that reason I had to ding her, but I still believe she has a long Idol journey ahead of her.
Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong
I think the Heejun, DeAndre, Shannon and EVP have the most to worry about tomorrow. So I guess we have to ask ourselves: who do we want to see live in concert?
All I know is they brought back a contestant, which they have never before done, adding a "spare" to the top 24 and it is that "spare" who gets eliminated the same night we'll whittle the group down to the Top 10, i.e. the official tour lineup.
Had Idol not televised this confrontation between Jermaine and the producers we might have brushed it off as business as usual, but this time it sounds more like a cheap marketing ploy to get some extra ratings. It was all very sensationalistic, even for Idol.
Forgive me for being skeptical but I don't buy it. Surely these folks have been burned enough in the past to do a thorough background check on these folks prior to the live shows.
AT ANY RATE...
The YOB theme is always iffy given the huge wealth of songs each contestant has to choose from. Anything can happen, but generally one brave soul will sing a song we're not so familiar with, some will sing older songs that technically qualify because they were made in the year of their birth and some will take on songs from singers they have no business trying to emulate.
In other words, we're in for a more critical review of tonight's performance show.
Phillip Phillips started the festivities with "Hard to Handle" by the Black Crowes. That I didn't pick it yesterday was a total oversight on my part, it is kinda the perfect song for him. Given the dude just had surgery he really rocked his choice and started the show off right. But even still, I haven't connected to him emotionally yet. I can't tell you why. There's no real reason. Without his guitar he looks a bit awkward, but it may be just a Joe Cocker type of spastic that just comes with that type of performer. I guess I'll have to get used to it.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 5
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Strong
Jessica Sanchez chose wisely (i.e. sang a song off my wish list from yesterday) with "Turn the Beat Around." TECHNICALLY it's a disco hit but Gloria Estefan breathed some flavor into it in 1995 when our youngest contestant was born. She came out belting it out just like disco diva in her sparkly pants. She also owned that stage with a prowess way beyond her tender 16 years. This girl is a major contender because she can do more than the ballad, no matter what the judges say. LOVE this girl. Let her spread her wings however she wants, guys.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong
Heejun Han picked "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx. Another ballad. Color me surprised. Instead of telling me how funny this guy is, why can't we see his personality on the stage? My patience is wearing thin. If he gets through to next week and does another ballad, I'm afraid he'll earn himself a zero.
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 3
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 14
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Our 1983 baby, Elise Testone, picked "Let's Stay Together" and had an impromptu sing-off with President Obama. That was kinda righteous and made my whole night, frankly. I loved that she went back to her songstress roots with this song. She had a lot more confidence with this song than the Whitney debacle of last week. It was good to see. By the end I really didn't see much to criticize. Let's hope her fans rally to keep her in the competition.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Good
Oh, DeAndre. My sweet little DeAndre Brackensick. I love you. I do. But you just committed a Geevie Idol Sin by singing one of my most hated songs, EVER. NO. NO NO NO. They should have let him sing Disney. Blame Jimmy Iovine but... I had to fast-forward.
Vocals: 4 (Based on past performances)
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 0
Total: 12
Probability of moving on: It's in his fans' hands now.
(Dre, hon, if you stay, next time check my blog. I won't steer you wrong, sweetie.)
Shannon Magrane had the choice to do No Doubt's "Don't Speak" but opted to take on Mariah Carey and Boys II Men.
:-|
Another ballad. Surprise, surprise. She could have done something more youthful and exciting but no. She took on Mariah Carey. BIG mistake. You should never attempt to sing a Mariah song UNLESS you can sing it better than Mariah. And Shannon can't. Another misstep.
But at least she dressed young. Progress?
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 1
Total: 16
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Colton Dixon sang White Lion and stayed true to some harder rock roots, which is always good to hear. But he, like Phillip, leaves me cold for some unknown reason. I'm missing the star quality of Adam Lambert and swagger of Daughtry. Colton sounds the same on every single song he sings, no matter what he sings. At this point it's really take it or leave it with me, but at least it was more exciting than a ballad, which makes him invaluable to this season.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4 (White Lion = good. Unknown song = risky.)
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Good
Erika Van Pelt, our EVP, chose - guess what - ANOTHER BALLAD.
:-|
I just really don't even know what to say. She's just not living up to the potential she alone has to be a standout artist this year. I'm so frustrated. Like Heejun, if she gets through to next week and does another ballad, it's zeroes from here on out.
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 15
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Jimmy tried to steer Skylar Laine away from her 1992 Bonnie Raitt pick, "Love's Sneaking Up On You." I'm not really thrilled by her original choice given the material she could have picked, including Faith Hill's "Piece of My Heart" - which would have given her a chance to rock with southern flavor. Pretty boring overall. Another missed opportunity.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 2
Total: 19
Probability of moving on: Good
Thank God for Joshua Ledet. My hair is STILL tingling. Serve that man crawfish before each and every performance. It didn't hurt his song was my fantasy pick, "When a Man Loves a Woman," which puts me two for two for the evening. And two of my favorite performances at that.
Go figure.
This boy evokes ghosts of Sam Cooke or Jackie Wilson on stage. I think the only thing I've ever thanked Michael Bolton for was that he released this remake in the year Joshua was born so he could sing it.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong
Hollie Cavanagh sang a ballad but she can. And she should. She picked Celine Dion which is risky business for any lesser singer, but Hollie can pull something this epic off almost effortlessly.
*Almost.*
This is one of my favorite Celine Dion songs of all time and it has deep personal meaning to me, so I've heard (and sung) "The Power of Love" quite a lot since 1994. That's why it was easy for me to tell whenever she slid off-key, which is easy to do with that kind of monster song. For that reason I had to ding her, but I still believe she has a long Idol journey ahead of her.
Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong
I think the Heejun, DeAndre, Shannon and EVP have the most to worry about tomorrow. So I guess we have to ask ourselves: who do we want to see live in concert?
March 13, 2012
American Idol Top 12 (11?) Songs from the Year of Their Birth (Wish List)
So I hear our Top 12 will be cut prematurely this week with the departure of Gentle Giant Jermaine Jones, who (possibly?) has a criminal history he left out of his bio when he applied/participated in the show. Sad, but the show must go on.
As the contestants get younger and younger I get further away from my music of choice (1970s/80s.) It's hard to narrow down an entire year's worth of music when I was too busy raising small kids to even worry much about Billboard's Top 40. But this is a pretty wide open theme night with tons of possibility and fortunately for several of our girls the whole Whitney Houston thing is out of the way for the season (I hope.)
We'll start with our oldest contestant, Elise Testone, who was born in 1983. Like any 13-year-old I was plastered to my radio and I had several favorites I think she could do serious justice to with that smoky voice of hers. Hits like Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
Or Laura Branigan's "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You"
are tailor-made for a contestant like Elise. Call me crazy but I kinda want to see her take on more of a vocal challenge - maybe someone like.... Steve Perry?
Whatever it is I think it needs to be light years away from any kind of uptempo dance tune. That's not who Elise is, and she desperately needs to remind us this week who exactly that is.
(Song she's not allowed to sing: "True" by Spandau Ballet. It will result in an Instant 0 I don't care how good she sings it.)
Erika Van Pelt, or EVP, was born in 1985. Fortunately she already burned through a Heart tune and I hope she steers clear of any of the other Heart hits from that era because it is clear that does not resonate with the audience. Instead she needs to rock. Fortunately for her Pat Benatar had a big hit that year with "We Belong:"
If she wants to go a little rougher around the edges vocally, she could lay down the law with Tina Turner's "Better Be Good to Me"
Anything by Heart or Whitney Houston will earn her an Instant 0.
Heejun Han was born in 1989, which is a year I strongly connect to Guns N' Roses. I have to admit the thought of his tackling a GNR hit kinda makes me chuckle to spite myself. There was also a lot of fun music that year, which I would really desperately like him to incorporate into his stage persona. He's the class clown, but he gets behind that mic and he's a serious crooner. Too serious, actually. It's kinda Dr. Chuckle and Mr. Bored Stiff.
It's kinda ... confusing.
It's a challenge to get him out of the box and perform but I kinda think maybe he should tackle Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative."
He could also have a little fun with Milli Vanilli (no DeAndre hair jokes please) or even Tone Loc.
If he absolutely HASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to do a slow one, let him try to conquer the last note of this ballad by Sheriff:
(It was actually released in the early 80s but re-released and hit the charts in 1989, so... it qualifies.)
Phillip Phillips was born in 1990, which makes him as old as my son Timothy.
I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that year, so I don't remember much of it. He's a hard one to predict even if I remembered every single song released that year. He has shown the propensity of taking a song you wouldn't expect and doing something you wouldn't expect him to do with it.
The impish part of me wonders with Mr. Steven Tyler would say if he Phillified something like..."Janie's Got a Gun:"
Talk about your challenge. He could also tackle something like "Epic" by Faith No More. With all the balladeers this season it may do him some good to do something that rocks in order to set himself apart from the pack.
Colton Dixon is a child of 1991, and the biggest hit that year was "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You," by Bryan Adams. I kinda heard that enough the 90s so he'd really have to knock it out of the park for me to get behind it again. Another oldie but a goodie, if not exceedingly slow, is "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak.
How he could totally win my favor? Do a little Queensryche.
Joshua Ledet has some good R&B tunes he could choose from in 1992, including a couple of old soul remakes:
Hollie Cavanagh has some serious vocal chops, that much is clear. She could close the show with a gospel-infused rendition of the MJ classic "Will You Be There." (I get chills just thinking about it.)
She could also branch out and appeal to one of the judges with her rendition of "Crazy."
Skylar Laine can use this opportunity to bring some of that fiesty fun that made her an early favorite for me, and fortunately for her 1994 had some big hits from country powerhouses like Martina McBride:
Reba McEntire:
and Patty Loveless:
I think DeAndre Brackensick should play to his base with something for thah ladies...
or maybe... if Prince is feeling especially generous...he could allow DeAndre to sing "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World."
(As you know we can't link or embed songs from his Royal Badness. But DeAndre was tailor made to sing his music, so let's hope our favorite eccentric musical genius lets go of the reigns *a little.*)
Shannon Magrane survived to fight another day and God only knows we'll get another ballad to show for it. Maybe something Disneyfied:
Or take on the King of Pop with one of his ballads:
But she could amp up the tempo just a tad and still give us something inspirational:
Jessica Sanchez is our youngest contestant, and unlike her toughest competitor Hollie, Jessica has shown a bit of versatility when it comes to music selection. She does ballads really well but she doesn't HAVE to do ballads, which makes it more fun to see what she is going to do.
I'd love to see her do something more upbeat with a little attitude.
And though I'd normally caution anyone away from Mariah, she could do something a little more youthful with:
This is my fantasy list for tomorrow's idol. Which means NONE of the songs I chose will likely be picked.
But it sure is fun trying to put a singer to a song, isn't it?
As the contestants get younger and younger I get further away from my music of choice (1970s/80s.) It's hard to narrow down an entire year's worth of music when I was too busy raising small kids to even worry much about Billboard's Top 40. But this is a pretty wide open theme night with tons of possibility and fortunately for several of our girls the whole Whitney Houston thing is out of the way for the season (I hope.)
We'll start with our oldest contestant, Elise Testone, who was born in 1983. Like any 13-year-old I was plastered to my radio and I had several favorites I think she could do serious justice to with that smoky voice of hers. Hits like Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
Or Laura Branigan's "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You"
are tailor-made for a contestant like Elise. Call me crazy but I kinda want to see her take on more of a vocal challenge - maybe someone like.... Steve Perry?
Whatever it is I think it needs to be light years away from any kind of uptempo dance tune. That's not who Elise is, and she desperately needs to remind us this week who exactly that is.
(Song she's not allowed to sing: "True" by Spandau Ballet. It will result in an Instant 0 I don't care how good she sings it.)
Erika Van Pelt, or EVP, was born in 1985. Fortunately she already burned through a Heart tune and I hope she steers clear of any of the other Heart hits from that era because it is clear that does not resonate with the audience. Instead she needs to rock. Fortunately for her Pat Benatar had a big hit that year with "We Belong:"
If she wants to go a little rougher around the edges vocally, she could lay down the law with Tina Turner's "Better Be Good to Me"
Anything by Heart or Whitney Houston will earn her an Instant 0.
Heejun Han was born in 1989, which is a year I strongly connect to Guns N' Roses. I have to admit the thought of his tackling a GNR hit kinda makes me chuckle to spite myself. There was also a lot of fun music that year, which I would really desperately like him to incorporate into his stage persona. He's the class clown, but he gets behind that mic and he's a serious crooner. Too serious, actually. It's kinda Dr. Chuckle and Mr. Bored Stiff.
It's kinda ... confusing.
It's a challenge to get him out of the box and perform but I kinda think maybe he should tackle Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative."
He could also have a little fun with Milli Vanilli (no DeAndre hair jokes please) or even Tone Loc.
If he absolutely HASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to do a slow one, let him try to conquer the last note of this ballad by Sheriff:
(It was actually released in the early 80s but re-released and hit the charts in 1989, so... it qualifies.)
Phillip Phillips was born in 1990, which makes him as old as my son Timothy.
I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that year, so I don't remember much of it. He's a hard one to predict even if I remembered every single song released that year. He has shown the propensity of taking a song you wouldn't expect and doing something you wouldn't expect him to do with it.
The impish part of me wonders with Mr. Steven Tyler would say if he Phillified something like..."Janie's Got a Gun:"
Talk about your challenge. He could also tackle something like "Epic" by Faith No More. With all the balladeers this season it may do him some good to do something that rocks in order to set himself apart from the pack.
Colton Dixon is a child of 1991, and the biggest hit that year was "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You," by Bryan Adams. I kinda heard that enough the 90s so he'd really have to knock it out of the park for me to get behind it again. Another oldie but a goodie, if not exceedingly slow, is "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak.
How he could totally win my favor? Do a little Queensryche.
Joshua Ledet has some good R&B tunes he could choose from in 1992, including a couple of old soul remakes:
Hollie Cavanagh has some serious vocal chops, that much is clear. She could close the show with a gospel-infused rendition of the MJ classic "Will You Be There." (I get chills just thinking about it.)
She could also branch out and appeal to one of the judges with her rendition of "Crazy."
Skylar Laine can use this opportunity to bring some of that fiesty fun that made her an early favorite for me, and fortunately for her 1994 had some big hits from country powerhouses like Martina McBride:
Reba McEntire:
and Patty Loveless:
I think DeAndre Brackensick should play to his base with something for thah ladies...
or maybe... if Prince is feeling especially generous...he could allow DeAndre to sing "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World."
(As you know we can't link or embed songs from his Royal Badness. But DeAndre was tailor made to sing his music, so let's hope our favorite eccentric musical genius lets go of the reigns *a little.*)
Shannon Magrane survived to fight another day and God only knows we'll get another ballad to show for it. Maybe something Disneyfied:
Or take on the King of Pop with one of his ballads:
But she could amp up the tempo just a tad and still give us something inspirational:
Jessica Sanchez is our youngest contestant, and unlike her toughest competitor Hollie, Jessica has shown a bit of versatility when it comes to music selection. She does ballads really well but she doesn't HAVE to do ballads, which makes it more fun to see what she is going to do.
I'd love to see her do something more upbeat with a little attitude.
And though I'd normally caution anyone away from Mariah, she could do something a little more youthful with:
This is my fantasy list for tomorrow's idol. Which means NONE of the songs I chose will likely be picked.
But it sure is fun trying to put a singer to a song, isn't it?
March 8, 2012
American Idol Top 13 Perform Whitney and Stevie
You'll have to forgive me that I have an involuntary gag reflex whenever I face any Whitney or Stevie theme night because these two artists are so iconic Idol contestants have pretty much run through their discography ad nauseam. No disrespect to the most recently departed Whitney Houston by any stretch - in fact it is out of the knowledge she IS so iconic that trying to duplicate her enormous talent usually ends up poorly for the contestant who dares to take her on.
On this 400th episode of AI Ryan tells us that the girls will be performing in competition with the boys. At the end of the results show tomorrow both the guy with the lowest votes and the girl with the lowest votes will go before the judges, who will ultimately decide their fate.
The girls were up to the challenge, sort of. Two knocked it completely out of the park, whereas two fell completely out of place. For the boys they were mostly consistent but a little ho hum. I knew that this Whitney/Stevie mash-up would be a regularly snooze-fest for the Fast Forward King (my dear hubby) but when all was said and done he watched two performances straight through and was mad that one of the three up-tempo songs was mangled beyond all recognition.
Jimmy Iovine brought Mary J. Blige in to help coach the Idols this week and for the most part they were helpful. It hurt me to see Jimmy throw poor Elise under the bus but what can you do? The producers have their favorites too.
(As you could tell by the placement of all the singers tonight. There's a reason Phillip Phillips is the Vegas favorite to take home the title.)
One of my favorites kicked off the show with the fun Stevie tune, "I Wish." Joshua Ledet brought a little gospel into the peppy song and gave it his all as he performed, which made his unfortunate position as first a little less forgettable. His performance reminded me of some R&B greats who had come before him and I found his groove infectious. I truly couldn't find any real fault with it. I had a good time, and that's something I wasn't even sure was possible on this particular theme night.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Good*
(His placement as first is the only thing that downgrades his chances from Strong.)
As I said before, I was not happy that Jimmy Iovine threw a different song choice at Elise Testone out of her comfort zone. I was, however, very glad he steered her away from that particular ballad for a peppy upbeat number, "I'm Your Baby Tonight." I love her voice but she really has to amp up the confidence to tackle these challenges. Her uncertainty caused her to lose her way in the song, which never fit her properly in the first place. I would have really loved to see her approach that song from another perspective, like jazz. The arrangement she ended up using either was out of whack or she has a misstep right out of the gate. I don't think she was able to recover after that. Couple this with her early placement in the lineup and this could spell trouble.
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 3
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 3
Total: 17
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Jermaine Jones took on "Knock Me Off My Feet" with that big deep voice of his. While it was a sleepier number than the first too there was a swagger there I don't think had been there before. His voice however is pretty stylized so I'm not sure how polarizing he will ultimately be as a contestant. If you were already a fan of Jermaine this performance gave you another dynamic to enjoy. It depends now if voters will remember this performance by the end of the show. I found it nice but forgettable.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good
Erika Van Pelt (or EVP as she will now be called) apparently didn't learn her lesson last week. After nearly being sent home for singing a ballad (and saved by the skin of her teeth singing something with more of an edge,) she opted to take on Whitney's ballad "I Believe in You and Me."
:-|
This chick obviously has a sadistic streak. It's not enough she almost got booted on her fanny LAST week she wants to remind us all that she doesn't have the strongest ballad voice, she can just make it a little edgier when she does it. She could have chosen a song to stand out all on her own ("It's Not Right But It's Okay" for instance, which is Whitney's most badass recognizable tune.) (And she's a DJ... should should know it.) Instead she just decided to blend in with the pack. Yeah her voice was cool and all but this was yet another missed opportunity for her. I'm not sure how forgiving the voting public will be with her for doing the same unoriginal karaoke two weeks in a row.
I'm annoyed and I like her. EVP, darling, you're a rocker. Let everyone else bore my husband to tears with a ballad. STAND. OUT.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 2
Total: 18
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good*
(She earns the "good" because chances are higher she'll get a boomerang of votes to keep her out of jeopardy again this week, and honestly two other girls performed worse.)
Colton Dixon sang "Lately." This alt rocker also slowed things down, but I really couldn't presume to pick a song that would better suit him. Most of the songs he sings sound the same to me. When he performed I didn't hear shades of Stevie in the background. I suppose that's a good thing? I just haven't been wowed by Colton yet. I think this will appeal to his fan base. How substantial that is will determine his placement overall, but I can't see this particular performance sending him home.
Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Good to Strong
Shannon Magrane is another contestant who hasn't yet learned that truly talented singers have more in their back pocket than just a pat ballad. Instead of keeping it young ("I Wanna Dance With Somebody" for instance,) she TOO opted for a ballad - one way older than her tender age of 16. She couldn't sell it emotionally nor vocally. "I Have Nothing" is a huge Whitney tune and unlike EVP before her, she doesn't necessarily have the chops to carry this kind of song. This was evident in the number of notes she missed. Her vocal was really the the weakest of the night.
If the nicest judges on TV are telling you it's bad, it's bad. That they actually identified her as bad is her only hope for votes to get into the next round.
Vocals: 2
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 14
Probability of moving on: Questionable
My sweet little DeAndre Brackensick. What can I say? I find just about everything about him endearing, even the way he uttered, "Lawd have mercy" when he saw video playback of how emotional last week was for him. I wasn't crazy about the wild "up-do" he had going on but it spared him from the hair flip of doom. His performance of the Reggae flavored "Master Blaster" let him let his hair down a little (figuratively speaking) and he got to be what he is: a 17 year old kid. It was youthful and fun but still gave him an opportunity to show his range a little bit. I was able to watch it three times and enjoy it as much every single time. I can't always understand what he's singing, but I sure like the sound of his voice while he's doing what he does so effortlessly. I remain unabashed in my bias, but this week he earned it.
Vocals: 5
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong
Skylar Laine is so country it hurts. I've always found it interesting that British performers can sing a song and we'll never hear a hint of their accent but when it comes to southern performers it hits you in the face like a cold blast of water. So it really didn't matter what Whitney song she sang tonight, it was going to come across like be-dazzling rhinestones on haute couture. I did appreciate both Jimmy and Mary "reigning" her in to deliver her version of "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" with a softer touch. It really prevented her from taking it over the top, which could have sunk her.
As our only real country contestant this year, I think odds in her favor that she'll advance.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Strong
I still don't know what to make of Heejun Han. He can sing but his personality is a bit... quirkier than we normally see on Idol. But I guess since Reed Grimm didn't make the cut, he does fill a comedy niche. My only problem is that he sings boring songs. He opted for "All is Fair in Love." He sings like a balladeer while maintaining the backstage presence of a class clown. I'd love to see him bring a little bit more of that personality to the stage.
(Which I believe was my complaint last week as well.)
Either way, boring, forgettable performance.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good
Hollie Cavanagh sang "All the Man That I Need" - which happens to be my favorite Whitney tune of all time. It's a HUGE song, but she has a HUGE voice - so it fit. Many times when we hear Whitney songs on Idol I miss actually hearing Whitney. Hollie, tonight, performed a miracle. Not only did she give me goosebumps hitting these big notes (especially that doozy at the end) but she made me want to hear HER version again rather than the original. It's a shame it was slow, my husband Speedy McSpeederson FF'd right on by.
I think she's definitely one to watch. I can see her going all the way to top 3 (at least) if she keeps this up.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong
Jeremy Rosado won us over last week by being the kid who wears his heart on his sleeve. He brought J-Lo to tears and earned her Wild Card pick with a voice that she commented was straight from the heavens. Despite this ringing endorsement his performance of "Ribbon in the Sky" didn't do much for me. It was... pleasant. It was nice. But it didn't stand out the way I had hoped it would. I think odds are good that he'll experience that boomerang vote effect where his fans will vote this week where they didn't last week. (He may have even won a few more with his emotional journey thus far.) IF by any stretch he does wind up in the bottom two going against one of the girls I doubt he'll be sent home, especially if Jennifer has anything to say about it.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good
You knew when we heard it was Whitney week SOMEONE would sing "I Will Always Love You." This is risky because Whitney sang the hell out of this song to the point, especially now that she has passed, it's almost sacrilege to try and put a different, individual spin on it. This inevitably vaults it into karaoke territory for lesser singers. Fortunately Jessica Sanchez is not a lesser singer. She's got a big ol voice for such a little girl, and she really did deliver.
Having said that I think Hollie may have outsung her tonight, if only by a smidge. I think Jessica's rather cliche performance of this predictable song (under a spotlight much like J-Hud sang at the Grammys) did not do her any real favors to set her apart from Whitney or even J-Hud. Unless you can surpass them, not just draw neck and neck, it's best not to draw those comparisons.
I still think she's the girl to beat, although after tonight I think Hollie is right on her heels.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong
Phillip Phillips closed the show and we all know what that means. It would seem he's a producer favorite as well as a Vegas favorite, though I swear I still don't see why. I get that he takes songs and puts an individual spin on the song - but it all sounds like the same thing to me and that's not really that original at all. Every time he performs I am reminded of the likes of David Cook - and then I want to hear David Cook.
"Superstition" is my favorite Stevie Wonder song hands down. I usually like it when most people do it, as long as they do it fairly close to the Stevie Wonder version. That's how much I love it. So I wasn't crazy about this gruff rock switcharoo much like I didn't care for what he did last week. I don't think he's going home anytime too soon but I have yet to see in him what everyone else does.
Maybe next week.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Strongest
(Has anyone ever gone home who performed in the pimp spot? I can't recall.)
If voting follows performance then Elise and Shannon are in the most trouble. For the guys it will just depend on where the fan allegiances lie as no one really dropped the ball vocally. Some performances were more memorable than other, but never underestimate the power of the judges and the lineup in which they sang. According to my grades Jermaine, Jeremy and Heejun tied with the lowest boys scores at 20, but poor Joshua is fighting the dreaded curse of first.
(It didn't help the judges gave him props for standing out several times, which could lull his fanbase into a false sense of security. We have seen this happen many times before.)
That means it's anybody's game for the guys.
My pick to go home: Elise.
On this 400th episode of AI Ryan tells us that the girls will be performing in competition with the boys. At the end of the results show tomorrow both the guy with the lowest votes and the girl with the lowest votes will go before the judges, who will ultimately decide their fate.
The girls were up to the challenge, sort of. Two knocked it completely out of the park, whereas two fell completely out of place. For the boys they were mostly consistent but a little ho hum. I knew that this Whitney/Stevie mash-up would be a regularly snooze-fest for the Fast Forward King (my dear hubby) but when all was said and done he watched two performances straight through and was mad that one of the three up-tempo songs was mangled beyond all recognition.
Jimmy Iovine brought Mary J. Blige in to help coach the Idols this week and for the most part they were helpful. It hurt me to see Jimmy throw poor Elise under the bus but what can you do? The producers have their favorites too.
(As you could tell by the placement of all the singers tonight. There's a reason Phillip Phillips is the Vegas favorite to take home the title.)
One of my favorites kicked off the show with the fun Stevie tune, "I Wish." Joshua Ledet brought a little gospel into the peppy song and gave it his all as he performed, which made his unfortunate position as first a little less forgettable. His performance reminded me of some R&B greats who had come before him and I found his groove infectious. I truly couldn't find any real fault with it. I had a good time, and that's something I wasn't even sure was possible on this particular theme night.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Good*
(His placement as first is the only thing that downgrades his chances from Strong.)
As I said before, I was not happy that Jimmy Iovine threw a different song choice at Elise Testone out of her comfort zone. I was, however, very glad he steered her away from that particular ballad for a peppy upbeat number, "I'm Your Baby Tonight." I love her voice but she really has to amp up the confidence to tackle these challenges. Her uncertainty caused her to lose her way in the song, which never fit her properly in the first place. I would have really loved to see her approach that song from another perspective, like jazz. The arrangement she ended up using either was out of whack or she has a misstep right out of the gate. I don't think she was able to recover after that. Couple this with her early placement in the lineup and this could spell trouble.
Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 3
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 3
Total: 17
Probability of moving on: Questionable
Jermaine Jones took on "Knock Me Off My Feet" with that big deep voice of his. While it was a sleepier number than the first too there was a swagger there I don't think had been there before. His voice however is pretty stylized so I'm not sure how polarizing he will ultimately be as a contestant. If you were already a fan of Jermaine this performance gave you another dynamic to enjoy. It depends now if voters will remember this performance by the end of the show. I found it nice but forgettable.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good
Erika Van Pelt (or EVP as she will now be called) apparently didn't learn her lesson last week. After nearly being sent home for singing a ballad (and saved by the skin of her teeth singing something with more of an edge,) she opted to take on Whitney's ballad "I Believe in You and Me."
:-|
This chick obviously has a sadistic streak. It's not enough she almost got booted on her fanny LAST week she wants to remind us all that she doesn't have the strongest ballad voice, she can just make it a little edgier when she does it. She could have chosen a song to stand out all on her own ("It's Not Right But It's Okay" for instance, which is Whitney's most badass recognizable tune.) (And she's a DJ... should should know it.) Instead she just decided to blend in with the pack. Yeah her voice was cool and all but this was yet another missed opportunity for her. I'm not sure how forgiving the voting public will be with her for doing the same unoriginal karaoke two weeks in a row.
I'm annoyed and I like her. EVP, darling, you're a rocker. Let everyone else bore my husband to tears with a ballad. STAND. OUT.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 2
Total: 18
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good*
(She earns the "good" because chances are higher she'll get a boomerang of votes to keep her out of jeopardy again this week, and honestly two other girls performed worse.)
Colton Dixon sang "Lately." This alt rocker also slowed things down, but I really couldn't presume to pick a song that would better suit him. Most of the songs he sings sound the same to me. When he performed I didn't hear shades of Stevie in the background. I suppose that's a good thing? I just haven't been wowed by Colton yet. I think this will appeal to his fan base. How substantial that is will determine his placement overall, but I can't see this particular performance sending him home.
Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Good to Strong
Shannon Magrane is another contestant who hasn't yet learned that truly talented singers have more in their back pocket than just a pat ballad. Instead of keeping it young ("I Wanna Dance With Somebody" for instance,) she TOO opted for a ballad - one way older than her tender age of 16. She couldn't sell it emotionally nor vocally. "I Have Nothing" is a huge Whitney tune and unlike EVP before her, she doesn't necessarily have the chops to carry this kind of song. This was evident in the number of notes she missed. Her vocal was really the the weakest of the night.
If the nicest judges on TV are telling you it's bad, it's bad. That they actually identified her as bad is her only hope for votes to get into the next round.
Vocals: 2
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 14
Probability of moving on: Questionable
My sweet little DeAndre Brackensick. What can I say? I find just about everything about him endearing, even the way he uttered, "Lawd have mercy" when he saw video playback of how emotional last week was for him. I wasn't crazy about the wild "up-do" he had going on but it spared him from the hair flip of doom. His performance of the Reggae flavored "Master Blaster" let him let his hair down a little (figuratively speaking) and he got to be what he is: a 17 year old kid. It was youthful and fun but still gave him an opportunity to show his range a little bit. I was able to watch it three times and enjoy it as much every single time. I can't always understand what he's singing, but I sure like the sound of his voice while he's doing what he does so effortlessly. I remain unabashed in my bias, but this week he earned it.
Vocals: 5
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong
Skylar Laine is so country it hurts. I've always found it interesting that British performers can sing a song and we'll never hear a hint of their accent but when it comes to southern performers it hits you in the face like a cold blast of water. So it really didn't matter what Whitney song she sang tonight, it was going to come across like be-dazzling rhinestones on haute couture. I did appreciate both Jimmy and Mary "reigning" her in to deliver her version of "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" with a softer touch. It really prevented her from taking it over the top, which could have sunk her.
As our only real country contestant this year, I think odds in her favor that she'll advance.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Strong
I still don't know what to make of Heejun Han. He can sing but his personality is a bit... quirkier than we normally see on Idol. But I guess since Reed Grimm didn't make the cut, he does fill a comedy niche. My only problem is that he sings boring songs. He opted for "All is Fair in Love." He sings like a balladeer while maintaining the backstage presence of a class clown. I'd love to see him bring a little bit more of that personality to the stage.
(Which I believe was my complaint last week as well.)
Either way, boring, forgettable performance.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good
Hollie Cavanagh sang "All the Man That I Need" - which happens to be my favorite Whitney tune of all time. It's a HUGE song, but she has a HUGE voice - so it fit. Many times when we hear Whitney songs on Idol I miss actually hearing Whitney. Hollie, tonight, performed a miracle. Not only did she give me goosebumps hitting these big notes (especially that doozy at the end) but she made me want to hear HER version again rather than the original. It's a shame it was slow, my husband Speedy McSpeederson FF'd right on by.
I think she's definitely one to watch. I can see her going all the way to top 3 (at least) if she keeps this up.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong
Jeremy Rosado won us over last week by being the kid who wears his heart on his sleeve. He brought J-Lo to tears and earned her Wild Card pick with a voice that she commented was straight from the heavens. Despite this ringing endorsement his performance of "Ribbon in the Sky" didn't do much for me. It was... pleasant. It was nice. But it didn't stand out the way I had hoped it would. I think odds are good that he'll experience that boomerang vote effect where his fans will vote this week where they didn't last week. (He may have even won a few more with his emotional journey thus far.) IF by any stretch he does wind up in the bottom two going against one of the girls I doubt he'll be sent home, especially if Jennifer has anything to say about it.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good
You knew when we heard it was Whitney week SOMEONE would sing "I Will Always Love You." This is risky because Whitney sang the hell out of this song to the point, especially now that she has passed, it's almost sacrilege to try and put a different, individual spin on it. This inevitably vaults it into karaoke territory for lesser singers. Fortunately Jessica Sanchez is not a lesser singer. She's got a big ol voice for such a little girl, and she really did deliver.
Having said that I think Hollie may have outsung her tonight, if only by a smidge. I think Jessica's rather cliche performance of this predictable song (under a spotlight much like J-Hud sang at the Grammys) did not do her any real favors to set her apart from Whitney or even J-Hud. Unless you can surpass them, not just draw neck and neck, it's best not to draw those comparisons.
I still think she's the girl to beat, although after tonight I think Hollie is right on her heels.
Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong
Phillip Phillips closed the show and we all know what that means. It would seem he's a producer favorite as well as a Vegas favorite, though I swear I still don't see why. I get that he takes songs and puts an individual spin on the song - but it all sounds like the same thing to me and that's not really that original at all. Every time he performs I am reminded of the likes of David Cook - and then I want to hear David Cook.
"Superstition" is my favorite Stevie Wonder song hands down. I usually like it when most people do it, as long as they do it fairly close to the Stevie Wonder version. That's how much I love it. So I wasn't crazy about this gruff rock switcharoo much like I didn't care for what he did last week. I don't think he's going home anytime too soon but I have yet to see in him what everyone else does.
Maybe next week.
Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Strongest
(Has anyone ever gone home who performed in the pimp spot? I can't recall.)
If voting follows performance then Elise and Shannon are in the most trouble. For the guys it will just depend on where the fan allegiances lie as no one really dropped the ball vocally. Some performances were more memorable than other, but never underestimate the power of the judges and the lineup in which they sang. According to my grades Jermaine, Jeremy and Heejun tied with the lowest boys scores at 20, but poor Joshua is fighting the dreaded curse of first.
(It didn't help the judges gave him props for standing out several times, which could lull his fanbase into a false sense of security. We have seen this happen many times before.)
That means it's anybody's game for the guys.
My pick to go home: Elise.
