Alex Laybourne's Blog, page 93

A Break From….. Fuck It I'm Having a Rant

Begin rant This post has not been edited, but rather left in its raw form.

Well, in oddly poetic fashion, the original Fuck it I'm having a rant post published itself without me even clicking anything. My subsequent attempts to retrieve said rant were successful, and so here I am, steam is bursting out of my ears and my blood pressure would probably show me as being dead already.

My week started bad, but has progressively gotten worse until I melted down completely and came this close to throwing my irritating neighbour through the wall. Not that she wouldn't deserve it, it was more the wall I felt guilt about.

It turns out that I am a bit of a control freak. No, that is wrong, I have discovered that I freak out when I no longer have control. I am not the 'my way or the highway' kind of guy, far from it, but I like to have some control over the things that affect me. This house move seems to have all taken place without my control and I cannot take it. The house, although I haven't seen it since the decorating started – I have been working and doing the cleaning up of the crap in the current flat as I have the car and license to take it all away – but I know it has gone well. I have no doubt it looks great, but at the same time, I cannot shake this gnawing little bastard that sits on my shoulder and whispers to me. I think he is a cousin of that other little imp Doubt. (those that remember that post of mine will know the little blighter I am referring to)

I guess the severe lack of sleep I have had this week also plays a part. My daughters new life motto seems to be 'sleep is for the weak.' I have been up since 3.30 this morning and will probably not get to bed before 23:00 and then the alarm goes off at 4.50 again tomorrow.

Well, this post has helped, and after I took out my frustration on a coffee cup yesterday – I did drink the coffee first, I'm not going to waste such liquid gold. – I feel much more like my old self.

I haven't written a word all week, but I hope that I will get something written down tonight. I think my separation from writing is also a factor. It is my therapy, and helps keep me grounded. I don't have any real world friends in my life. Not the kind you can just pop round to visit or take for a beer, and so my writing is the substitute. Blogging helps to an extent, but fiction gives you that ability to do whatever it is you want to whoever.

If you have read this far through my post, I would like to assure you I am not some crazy man. A neurotic mess maybe, but crazy, certainly not. I am just …. sleepy.

Tomorrow we shall return to our normal broadcasting.

 

End of Rant

(You guys should have seen the profanity ridden first draft - first draft of this second draft)

ROW80: Shortest MidWeek Update Ever

I have not read a word all week.

I have not written / edited a word all week, and judging by the way things seem to be going at the moment, I won't be changing that above anytime soon. Hope to get a few words written in the weekend.

How are you all doing with your goals?

Today The Tables Are Turned

Yesterday I posted an interview that I conducted with the wonderful LM Stull, so today I am turning the tables and linking to an interview I gave which has just gone live.

So come on over and join me at Ashley Barron's blog and see what it is that makes me who I am.

Interview: L M Stull

To start the year in style, I decided I want to arrange a weekly Author interview. Today it is my absolute honor to welcome one of my best friends and favorite writers LM Stull to my blog. Keep reading for a chance to win a free… yes free copy of A Thirty-Something Girl.

 As a horror writer myself, I simply have to ask this question first.

1.      What is your favorite scary movie.

The Exorcist!! (EEP!). Oh em gee, when her head starts spinning around and projectile vomiting. Good god!

 

2.     If you could be any character in fiction, whom would you be?

 Ooh that's a tough one! I would have to say Atticus Finch! Is it weird that I picked a guy??

 

3.     What is your favorite color

Black and pink and white… um, I can pick three, right? J

 

When I was younger I got kicked out of my English class for using this classic excuse. The only thing was for me it was true.

4.     Has the dog ever eaten your manuscript?

 Nope, but she's peed on it. Not kidding! (Don't worry, it was an extra copy and I trashed it!)

 

5.     What do you consider your biggest failure?

 Well, I'm not a big fan of looking at things as failures. At least not anymore, that is. I used to think the fact that I'd wasted so much of my 20s being unhappy and not being who I really wanted to be. But, I've come to learn that if I hadn't experienced what I did, I may not be the person who I am today. And I like this person.

 

I like that, it is a very healthy way of looking at things.

 

6.     Do you laugh at your own jokes?

Unfortunately, I do. Which is bad. Because they are horrible! haha

 

7.     When you were a child what did you want to be when you were grown up?  

A psychiatrist! Specifically, a prison psychiatrist! Ha. I LOVE the mind. Especially, evaluating minds of those individuals who have created heinous crimes.

 Me too, the idea of studying the human mind and delving into the criminal psyche is beyond intriguing

8.    How do you react to a bad review of one of your books?

 Well, I've been fortunate enough not to receive my first bad review yet (ACK!). I know it will happen, and I'm okay with it. I realize not everyone is going to love my work. I'm a reader and I don't love all books. I'm a pretty easy going gal and I work with lawyers, so I've got pretty thick skin. When I do get criticism, I try to take it in, evaluate it and see if there is anything I can learn from it.

 

Okay, let's change it up a little bit

9.     What's your favorite fruit?

 Ooh mangos!!! Mmmm yummy!

 

10. What's the most blatant lie you've ever told?

 The most blatant lie I ever told was to myself. That I was happy. For many years.

 

11.  What is the biggest sacrifice you have made for your writing?

 I don't think I've made any sacrifices for writing, actually. I try to keep my world as balanced as possible and not overdo it. I make sure to spend time with the people who matter most in my life, as well as take some time to just relax and do other non-writing things. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement and business of it all, but I do try to keep my schedule under control.

 

12. What inspired you to write your first book?

 My own life. While A Thirty-Something Girl is not entirely like my own life, the emotional journey that Hope and Sam undergo is a very personal one to me. This story is about real life and real moments, and it came from a very special part of my heart.

 

13. A Thirty Something Girl was one of my top three books of 2011, so tell us, what are you planning as a follow up?

 I can't speak too much about my next book, as it is only just coming to fruition, but rest-assured, it's another literary tale of life and all the many lessons we can learn from it.

Secretive… now I am intrigued.

14. What books have most influenced your life most?

 The single most influential piece of literature in my life is As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner. The man was a genius and although my writing pales in comparison to his, his words continue to inspire me to this day.

I probably shouldn't admit this but I have never read a single piece of Faulkner's work. I am ashamed of myself. At least I now know what book I should begin with.

15. What was a time in your life when you were really scared?

Between the ages of 25-28. I have no idea what the hell I was doing with my life. I was seriously lost and in a very dark place. I was floating along without a purpose. Lost. Confused and terribly lonely. I live everyday making sure I never go back to the place I was at during that time in my life.

 

Wow, thanks for those answers. Some of them are certainly deep and quite profound. I always find myself to be one of those people who embody the statement "Do as I say, not as I do." I can give out good, wholesome advice about life and the like, but when it comes to me, it is a different kettle of fish. You however seem to have it mastered. Thank you so much for being so open and honest with us today.

In case you didn't think this post could get any better, just keep on scrolling. You are this close to the chance to win a free e-book.

 [image error]

A Thirty-Something Girl

Life has been anything but kind, and everything that can go wrong has. At an age when life should be coming together, and questions should start to be answered, Hope finds herself feeling very alone and terribly confused. As her life spirals out of control, she realizes she needs help. And she needs it quickly.  With the love and support of some dear friends, Hope slowly begins to find her true self, and along the way, she meets someone. Someone who makes her feel like living to see another day might just be worth it.  But with happiness, comes pain. Pain from a past that simply won't be forgotten. Walking a dangerously fine line between joy and utter despair, Hope wonders if happy endings really do exist. And if they do, is there one waiting for her?

 

Amazon ,  Barnes &Noble ,   BookieJar,   Smashwords and   iTunes .

 

 

_____

A Washington, DC native, L.M. Stull spends her days chained to a desk at a law firm in southern Virginia. When she's not feverishly taking orders from attorneys, she writes. Her stories tell of the human spirit – sometimes sad, sometimes not – most can relate to them on some level or another.  A Thirty-Something Girl is her debut novel. 

Connect with L.M. on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads and her website.

Congratulations, simply by reading this post, you are 50% of the way to victory.  At the end of the day (or a couple of days depending on how much work kicks my ass) I will pick the best comment and you win a free e-book copy of A Thirty-Something Girl. Let me post you a question, and the best answer wind.

Q) As I said above, I am very much a Do as I say not as I do kind of guy. So tell me, what is the best piece of advice you give to others that you do not follow yourself?

 

ROW80: A Week's End 07.01.2012

The first week of the year is finished. More importantly, the first week of ROW80 has been completed.

Looking back, I did not do anywhere near as much editing as I wanted to. This is down because of several key factors. My children were awake at 5 am (or 3:30) even morning which took away that time before work that I normally write in. Also, my evenings were filled with various other tasks which reduced my writing time. I did something every day, and that is important. Next week however, I intend to get some serious editing done and make up for the lost time.

I did finish my first book of the year yesterday. Forbidden Mind by Kimberly Kindrade. It is a YA novel, and not necessarily my normal genre, but boy am I glad I read it. You can find my reviews on Smashwords, Goodreads and Barnes and Noble.

We are already underway with the move. The paint has been bought for the living room, the furniture has been decided upon if not bought. We got they keys yesterday and are going in to start cleaning that cupboards and tidying the things that do not need to be painted. I have a two story shed in the garden that I have claimed for my own and will turn into a home office / writing den for myself.

So how are you all doing after week 1?

Let Me Tell You a Story

"Gather around kids, I want to tell you a story." I call to my grandchildren. They rush over and sit on the floor, eager to hear me spin another yarn for them. I light my pipe and settle down in my chair. "I want to tell you a true story. A story about how I fought a Demon." I hear them gasp. Their eyes widen, mouths drop. They are ready, and so I begin.

"When I was a boy, my father was killed by a demon. It ate him up right in front of me. I had hidden of course. Every time the demon arrived I hid, but he saw me. He marked me. For sure enough, the day I turned sixteen that very same demon came after me. It came after me the same way it came after every male in my family. We were cursed you see.

For years I lived with the demon. I allowed it to take over my body. It seized control of my mind and held me prisoner. The demon was quick, he overpowered me. His body was like ghost, and try as I might, I could not shake him loose. His grip on me was like ice. I was frozen. He invaded my body, moving like a flood until I was drowning in his essence.

People tried to rescue me, but the demon was powerful. He fought them off. He even took my mother's life." I pause and re-light my pipe. I sat back and looked at their faces. Eyes wide with equal amounts of terror and intrigue. Behind them, standing in the doorway stood their parents. I had told them the same story when they were young; and numerous times since. Even now, as adults; as parents themselves, my words hold them captive. The same way the demon held me.

"How did you get away from the demon Grandpa?" The youngest of the brood asks. Oddly enough she is the least afraid.

"I fought it. I killed it." I answer matter of factly. The tale pulls no punches and neither do I.

" For years every time I tried to fight, the demon would stop me. It was a giant you see. Its flesh as was black as the night, its eyes the deep red of blood. Its stare was enough to stop you in your tracks the moment you thought of resisting. Yet resist I did. I made my stand and slowly I fought back."  They hold their breath. I pause once more, and release a mouth full of smoke. It billows around us and seems to consume the whole room.

"How did you fight back Pa?"  Me eldest son asked, unaware that he had done so. By now the adults had taken a seat alongside their children.

"Magic." I whisper the word. "I was given a magic pendant that made me stronger. As I grew, the demon shrank. The power that had been hidden in the pendant was the Demons main weakness. The fight was tough, I lost a lot of myself, and had to say goodbye to some very close friends of mine. They were driven away by the demon as it struggled to regain control."  I reach beneath my shirt and pull out the small round disc. It is attached to a thin silver chain. I wear at all times.

"Finally, I was able to stand up to the Demon. I looked it right in the eyes and with all of the strength I could muster, I plunged my hands into its flesh and ripped out its heart. It was a dark grey tumorous organ. It beat in my hands and covered my arms with a thick oily blood. It was the demons last chance you see. It's blood covered my body. It tried to force its way inside my mouth, to consume me, so that I would become the demon.  Luckily my pendant had grown more powerful, and when combined with that of another of the same kind, it made me indestructible." I clapped my hands together and powered out of my chair.

Everybody jumped.

The Demon was vanquished, but not truly defeated. For even after death, small parts of the creature live on. Every now and then I find them still. I am too powerful now for them to affect me, but still, even I must be wary of the danger they can serve." I finished my tale and took my seat again.

Everybody began to applaud. All but my daughter. She had left the room. I thought nothing of it until she came back with a huge bouquet of flowers. Her eyes were red with tears, makeup streaked her face. She fell into my arms and held me tight.

I took the flowers and read the card. Fifty years sober and still fighting the inscription read.

The End

Never forget the dangers of Alcohol.

Live in the Moment

Living in the moment. This is a phrase that many people talk of but very few actually live by. Not when it comes to making those important life decisions. However, I have learned over the years that my best decisions have all been made in the spur of the moment.

My wife and I discussed having children and I decided straight away that we should have them. We now have three, and I could not imagine my life without them. They are the thing that get my up every day, their faces at my desk pull me through even the darkest of office moments.

I declared my desire to move to Holland, quit my job the next day and moved to The Netherlands four weeks later. It isn't completely as random a destination as it sounds as my wife is Dutch.

I decided to write a book one day when I was 15. I was on holiday in Spain with a friend, and we had to stay indoors every day around 14:00 so the locals could have their Siesta. Not being a person who sleeps long at nigh,t let along during the day, I plotted out a novel. It still sits in my head today. I now have a (moderately) successful blog, one published novel and if things go well, three more by the end of the year.

The most recent opportunity to come my way was another relocation. A chance to move out of the flat we are currently in and into a house. A real house with a garden and a two storey shed that can be converted into a holiday house that can be rented out. Although I have my eyes set on a fantastic little writing studio. In any case, we viewed the house on Saturday, decided yesterday, sorted out our finances today and get the keys tomorrow. Come Feb 1st we will leave the flat and move.

To many people this may seem like a rather sudden undertaking, especially as this will include new schools and relocating three children, one of whom has autism and doesn't tend to deal with change very well. I however have no such worry. This decision was possibly the quickest one I have ever made, and so therefore cannot fail. Maybe I am crazy, maybe one day this will all come back to bite me, but until then I will continue to just roll with the punches and make my decisions on the fly. Those real tough ones I may leave to the toss of a coin. After all, it has worked out perfectly well for me so far.

ROW80: Checkpoint 1 04/01/2012

With the festive period behind me, I am now looking forward to the chance to sit down and get some solid work done. That does heavily rely on my children sleeping past 5 am which currently seems to be a task beyond their grasp.

While I will never complain about the extra time with them, it does hamper my writing time as that hour between 5 and 6 is probably my most productive time of the day in terms of having nothing else to do at the particular moment.

My goals for this round were rather simple ones. Edit and Read was what they boiled down to.

I am happy to report that after (a whole) 2 days of the round I have hit my target both days. Granted not in the quantity I would like, but certainly to the best of my ability give the hectic days I have had.

Editing is going smoothly, I am 71 (A4)  pages in with about 80 to go.  I am now entering that phase were I am wondering if I am editing well. Am I missing things, am I changing things that don't need to be changed? I am aware that too much tinkering in areas that don't need it could lead to structural weaknesses in the long run. That is just how my mind works, and so I should feel comforted by this, as it means I am on the right track.

I do intend to try to find a BETA reader of two for this novel, get an opinion other than my own before I release it to the general public and that makes me feel a little better.

In terms of reading, I have actually read both days, and am on a streak that stretches back to before Christmas. I am about 65% of the way through Forbidden Mind by Kimberly Kinrade, a fabulous author that happens to be a friend of mine. I started the book on January 1st and hope to have it finished by the end of the week. I am not sure what is next on my list. I have quite an eclectic mix of genres to read, and so after a YA novel I think a change to something more horror / fantasy related might be nice. I do have Bedbugs but Ben Winters in paperback which I am dying to read… oh wait, there we go, I now know what is next on the list.

I have a good feeling about this round, about this year in general, and while I am not looking to move house within the next 2 months at most, I am expecting minimal disruption to my writing time and so should still be able to meet all my goals.

I know it is only two days in but how are you all feeling about this round? Did you go for a safe bet of goals for the opening round of the year, or did you throw caution to the wind and lay down a gauntlet for yourself?

ROW80 : A Marathon Not a Sprint

With a new year comes a new round of words.

My goals for this round are actually pretty straight forward.

Finish editing the second installment of the Highway to Hell trilogy
Publish the above
Establish a regular blogging schedule.
Use those moments where editing just cannot be done to research and plot my next novel. Par for the Course.
Read something everyday.

The recent festive period slowed my writing / editing down somewhat, but that is now in the past, and I should be able to knuckle down and get some good work done. I am confident that I will be finished with the editing of my current project by the end of January, that leaves me time for a read through and maybe a beta test or two.

 

2012 – A Year to End All Years

It has arrived, 2012 is upon us. Before we start can anybody tell me what happened to 2011? I seem to have misplaced it. It was here but I turned around and it was gone.

In all seriousness, 2011 was an amazing year, and I have high expectations for this one too.

I know that this is the time of year when everybody makes resolutions. Promises to themselves that they know they can break without feeling too guilty about. You all know what I mean. Those stop smoking promises, or the weight loss targets. I never make Resolutions because I know that they have a less than impressive track record. What I like to do instead is wipe the slate clean.

A new year, a new start. Forget about the failures and low points of 2011. The past is the past and nothing can change it. We are who we are in this very moment, and if we need to make changes we just do it. No preconceptions.

While I shy away from resolutions, I do like to set targets for myself at the start of the year. So here goes, in no particular order.

Move House – We currently live in a tiny flat that doesn't give us the space we need for the children. Coupled with the neighbors from hell that seem to be determined to be like the Corleone family of the flat. Everything needs to be approved by them.
Publish the second Highway to Hell installment.
Re-edit my and re-release my short story collection.
Write and publish a new standalone novel. This is already planned out in my mind in terms of the main plot, just need to fine tune the character arc.
Read more. With three kids running around, finding time to read can be hard, but I am determined to read more this year
Get some form of (semi) regular exercise. I would like the scales to stop saying 'one at a time please' when I stand on them. Nothing more specific than that.
Further define my blogging. I want to develop a genuine schedule of say 4 posts a week, including one author interview. The questions to which I am currently working on, but would also tailor from author to author.
Of course, if I can actually sell a few copies of my books along the way, then all the better.

Happy 2012 everybody.