Alex Laybourne's Blog, page 82

Movies That Should Have Been Made Already: Part 1

I have decided that sometimes, you just need to shake things up a bit, and so, I am going to start posting a bit more randomly. Not all the time, but if an idea comes to me, I’m just going to post about it and see what happens.

I am a child of the 80′s… or possibly the 90′s depending on at what age you start counting from.  In terms of independence, then it’s the 90′s. But I digress.

In this series, I want to talk about things that I remember from my childhood, namely TV shows etc, that really should be brought back to life… on the silver screen.

To start with, I went for quite possibly the best cartoon from my childhood.

THUNDERCATS!! Who could have grown up in the 80′s / 90′s and not known this show.

To be honest, I am not only shocked but quite hurt that this has not been made into a movie yet.

THUNDER… THUNDER…. THUNDERCATS HO!!!!!!

Just looking at the poster I get all sorts of movie ideas in my head. Hey, maybe it’s time I try my hand at some fan-fiction, because this series needs to be carried on.

The original series of Thundercats ran from 1984 – 1989 and had 130 episodes. The series follows a group of Cat-humanoids who having escaped from their home planet ‘Thundera’ awaken from a state of suspended animation to find themselves alone, crash landed on ‘Third Earth’. This planet is basically our planet, but set in the future. Human kind has been wiped out by the main villain in the series the Ancient Egyptian mummy Mumm-Ra. (This guy was a seriously scary dude when I was a kid)

Thundercats brings together major elements of both the Science Fiction and Fantasy genres, yet never looses that every so universal appeal of Good versus Evil.  Unlike a lot of TV shows, where episodes merely that, Thundercats had a definite underlying continuation. Yet at the same time, you do not necessarily have to watch the episodes in order. Within the first season, we even go through a sub-storyline where the hero, Lion’O, needs to face a series of trials in order to claim his place as leader of the group. This actually sees him battling his own ‘teammates’ the Thundercats, before finally facing off against Mumm-Ra.

The role of Mumm-Ra is unusual because he is a villain whose origins are unrelated to the Thundercats. He was already on the planet ‘Third Earth’ and it was the arrive of the Thundercats that upset the balance of his world.

I haven’t seen this show in years, and I know they ‘re-launched’ it last year (2011) and I do want to see it, but, I don’t think another cartoon could satisfy me. A movie however… that is a different ball game.

I know there was a movie in 1985/6, but that was more or less a long episode. What I want to see is a real movie, a la Transformers.

There were rumors that a movie was being developed, but sadly along came SpeedRacer, which was such a flop on a commercial level (I must admit I have not seen the movie, and have no idea about the original series it was based on) that the plug was automatically pulled on all other active ‘live action’ projects at the time.

There is a wonderful fan made trailer available on YouTube which was lovingly made one frame a time, using cut shots of other movies edited to fit the Thundercats look. Brad Pitt as Lion’, Vin Diesel as Panthro etc. It was great fun and shows just how awesome a live action Thundercats film could be.

I don’t think there would be a dry eye in the house, or no spine left un-shivered the first time we would hear the immortal lines “Thunder…. Thunder…. Thundercats….. HO!!”  and see the Sword of Omens do its thing.

Just take a look at some of these images below and see for yourself how awesome Thundercats was.

This just has to be made into a movie. I know that they have tried and failed with taking  cartoons into Live Action movies before (Scooby-Doo for example) but hell, with Thundercats you cannot fail.

It is time to introduce these Space-Cats to a new generation, besides, with the mix between Sci-Fi and Fantasy that the series conveys, you a striking in a market that is always popular.

I have just realized however, that I could have made a valid argument for this great show being made into a cartoon in a much smaller post. (see below)

  VS

Who in their right mind, would look at this and say “Gee, one of these things is a movie waiting to be made… I think its Battleship.”

Between Battleship and all of the re-makes and re-make re-makes out there, the next time someone in Hollywood has an original idea, there is a chance their head may explode.

Allow me to Introduce: Armand Rosamilia and the Summer of Zombie!!

Today it is my pleasure to introduce to you all an incredibly talented horror writer, and a man with such great taste, he chose the very same name as me for one of his books.

This post is just one stop on an entire Summer of Zombie tour schedule, that sees a group of writers travelling the World Wide Web sharing their passion for writing and um… the undead

Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I had my blog over Mr. Armand Rosamilia.

From one horror writer to another, I simply must ask….

What is your favorite scary movie.

As a kid, Halloween scared the crap out of me. Between the music and the danger lurking around every corner, it was the perfect movie.

If you could be any character in fiction, whom would you be?

Tough question. Probably Harry Keogh from Brian Lumley’s Necroscope series… at least in the beginning of the stories, anyway. He was such a great character to me.

 What is your favorite color

Green. I’ll say no more.

Now for something completely different.

 What is your favorite word?

Fuck. I use it in every sentence. I’m an Italian from New Jersey, so it is usually the first fucking word they teach you in school.

When I was younger I got kicked out of my English class for using this classic excuse. The only thing was for me it was true.

Has the dog ever eaten your manuscript?

Never. Only because I’m not an animal person and only have cats and dogs under protest. That being said, I did have a dog not too long ago that chewed on the corner of my Thieves World omnibus edition. I hate animals even more now.

What do you consider your biggest failure?

My battle with my weight. I was 180 pounds in high school and at 42 I’m pushing 300 and feel very unhealthy. For writing it is definitely all the years I didn’t write and all the story ideas I had that I never bothered with or even writing them down. Too much time wasted eating M&M’s.

Do you laugh at your own jokes?

I will watch TV in the house alone and crack jokes constantly and smirk. There is something wrong with me. I have a very dry sense of humor and I’m quick with my wit, so I am constantly pissing everyone off in the house because I can never be serious. I also love saying the most inappropriate thing in a tense situation to make a joke, which gets me in trouble.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

Believe it or not, always a writer. Even as a kid, reading mom’s Dean Koontz books, I wanted to do this. While friends wanted to be cops and firemen or football players, I wanted to write books.

How do you react to a bad review of one of your books?

I find a picture of the reviewer on Facebook, add it to the face of the voodoo doll and grab their right arm while holding a match… nothing. What can you do? A review is a review, and it’s only an opinion. I always hope, even a crappy 1-star review at least tells me what they hated, and let’s other potential customers know what the book is about. With my Dying Days series, the zombies don’t want to just eat you, they want to rape you. Some reviewers complained there aren’t actual rape scenes while others complained the idea was even in the story. You can’t please everyone. Back to the voodoo doll…

Let’s change it up a little bit

What’s your favorite fruit?

I hate fruit. That’s why I’m pushing 300 pounds, but if I had to choose it would be pears. And pretty much stop there.

What’s the most blatant lie you’ve ever told?

Hell, I’ve told hundreds over the years. Some are still floating out there. I once told a boss my grandfather had died so I could get out of working Memorial Day weekend, and then my brother and I drove up to Boston and saw the Yankees play the Red Sox in Fenway Park. My Red Sox lost all three games that year.

What is the biggest sacrifice you have made for your writing?

Relationships. I’m happily divorced twice, but those breakups were their fault (I swear). I’ve lost many good girlfriends over the years because of my obsession with my writing. I can literally hole up in a room, and type for fifteen hours (or surf for ‘research’ on the internet) and not bother with stuff like housework, cooking or talking to other actual people.

What inspired you to write your first book?

Dean Koontz books as a kid. I was bad and would be punished for long stretches, and my parents would separate my brother and I (since we fought all the time), and I was stuck in their room with my mom’s huge piles of horror paperbacks. I’d spend the day reading and imagining my own stories, and it never stopped.

You certainly seem to have a thing with Zombies, what is the most creative way you have come up with to kill one?

In one of my short stories I have a guy who has no weapons and uses arms and legs of dead people to fight with against zombies, and the entire story he fights with them. It’s actually not published yet but might be included in the next Dying Days book, Still Dying: Select Scenes From Dying Days.

Now that is just awesome!! 

Do you see yourself branching out into other avenues of Horror writing?

Definitely. I have several non-zombie horror short stories out, including my Skulls and Bones. Death. Cenote short story collections, my Death Metal thriller novella, and more to come.

We have both written a novel called Highway to Hell, but have you ever opened a novel and seen the name of one of your characters in its pages?

Not yet. I imagine if you write enough stories you’ll eventually run into one. I almost used the same name from years ago in a story and knew it sounded familiar. I looked through my own stories and found it, which was funny. I notice book titles with the same names, like our Highway To Hell one, and Nathan Squiers and I both have one called Death Metal. I also put our Heavy Metal Horror anthology out in 2009 and see a new call for an anthology with the same title out now. My next books, The Holy Bible and To Kill A Mockingbird better not get stolen.

I am a huge Stephen King fan. Who is your favorite Author and what one of their stories sticks in your mind the most?

HP Lovecraft was the first author I read that wasn’t mainstream-sounding to me like King and Koontz. This guy had some seriously weird and old sounding stories and as a teen it was scary stuff, making you think beyond your window about the universe. I can still pick up one of his books and read it, knowing the story well, but needing to read it again. I love reading all the Cthulhu mythos stories from other authors as well.

I am rather ashamed to say that I have not read enough of Lovecraft’s work. However, the things I have read, blew my mind. I can certainly say I will always remember my first Lovecraft experience. I read two shorts one night. The Alchemist and The Beast in the Cave

What books have most influenced your life most?

The Rising by Brian Keene influenced my zombie writing. Before this book I’d never read zombie fiction or even thought too much about it. I didn’t think it would translate well to books, only movies. I was wrong, and started reading everything zombie I could find.

Was there ever a time in your life when you were truly scared?

Yes. One time, as an operative, I had amnesia and had to figure out who was trying to kill me… no, wait, that was Jason Bourne. Nah, I’ve lived a pretty cushy life, although I fought way too much in my late teens and early twenties and had a bad temper. I don’t anymore, so SHUT UP!!

 

 Armand Rosamilia is a New Jersey boy currently living in sunny Florida, where he is completely unprepared for the coming zombie apocalypse. And it is coming. He hopes to be one of the first killed during it so he doesn’t have to worry. His fiction is mostly zombie, including the Stellar Ultima Outstanding Zombie Award (he just made that up on the spot) for his Dying Days series. He will keep writing zombie stories as long as people keep buying them. He is in love with Twitter at the moment, so find him at @ArmandAuthor before he grows bored with it. http://armandrosamilia.com

                                                                             

All six of us – Todd Brown, Mark Tufo, Ian Woodhead, Armand Rosamilia, John O’Brien and Dave Jeffery – hope you’ll keep following us on the Summer of Zombie blog tour, and comment as we go along.

And… one lucky commenter for each blog will receive a Free eBook or Print book from one of the authors! Simply leave a comment with your e-mail address and we’ll pick a random winner each day! Simple as that!

Allow me to Introduce: Armand Roamilia and the Summer of Zombie!!

Today it is my pleasure to introduce to you all an incredibly talented horror writer, and a man with such great taste, he chose the very same name as me for one of his books.

This post is just one stop on an entire Summer of Zombie tour schedule, that sees a group of writers travelling the World Wide Web sharing their passion for writing and um… the undead

Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I had my blog over Mr. Armand Rosamilia.

From one horror writer to another, I simply must ask….

What is your favorite scary movie.

As a kid, Halloween scared the crap out of me. Between the music and the danger lurking around every corner, it was the perfect movie.

If you could be any character in fiction, whom would you be?

Tough question. Probably Harry Keogh from Brian Lumley’s Necroscope series… at least in the beginning of the stories, anyway. He was such a great character to me.

 What is your favorite color

Green. I’ll say no more.

Now for something completely different.

 What is your favorite word?

Fuck. I use it in every sentence. I’m an Italian from New Jersey, so it is usually the first fucking word they teach you in school.

When I was younger I got kicked out of my English class for using this classic excuse. The only thing was for me it was true.

Has the dog ever eaten your manuscript?

Never. Only because I’m not an animal person and only have cats and dogs under protest. That being said, I did have a dog not too long ago that chewed on the corner of my Thieves World omnibus edition. I hate animals even more now.

What do you consider your biggest failure?

My battle with my weight. I was 180 pounds in high school and at 42 I’m pushing 300 and feel very unhealthy. For writing it is definitely all the years I didn’t write and all the story ideas I had that I never bothered with or even writing them down. Too much time wasted eating M&M’s.

Do you laugh at your own jokes?

I will watch TV in the house alone and crack jokes constantly and smirk. There is something wrong with me. I have a very dry sense of humor and I’m quick with my wit, so I am constantly pissing everyone off in the house because I can never be serious. I also love saying the most inappropriate thing in a tense situation to make a joke, which gets me in trouble.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

Believe it or not, always a writer. Even as a kid, reading mom’s Dean Koontz books, I wanted to do this. While friends wanted to be cops and firemen or football players, I wanted to write books.

How do you react to a bad review of one of your books?

I find a picture of the reviewer on Facebook, add it to the face of the voodoo doll and grab their right arm while holding a match… nothing. What can you do? A review is a review, and it’s only an opinion. I always hope, even a crappy 1-star review at least tells me what they hated, and let’s other potential customers know what the book is about. With my Dying Days series, the zombies don’t want to just eat you, they want to rape you. Some reviewers complained there aren’t actual rape scenes while others complained the idea was even in the story. You can’t please everyone. Back to the voodoo doll…

Let’s change it up a little bit

What’s your favorite fruit?

I hate fruit. That’s why I’m pushing 300 pounds, but if I had to choose it would be pears. And pretty much stop there.

What’s the most blatant lie you’ve ever told?

Hell, I’ve told hundreds over the years. Some are still floating out there. I once told a boss my grandfather had died so I could get out of working Memorial Day weekend, and then my brother and I drove up to Boston and saw the Yankees play the Red Sox in Fenway Park. My Red Sox lost all three games that year.

What is the biggest sacrifice you have made for your writing?

Relationships. I’m happily divorced twice, but those breakups were their fault (I swear). I’ve lost many good girlfriends over the years because of my obsession with my writing. I can literally hole up in a room, and type for fifteen hours (or surf for ‘research’ on the internet) and not bother with stuff like housework, cooking or talking to other actual people.

What inspired you to write your first book?

Dean Koontz books as a kid. I was bad and would be punished for long stretches, and my parents would separate my brother and I (since we fought all the time), and I was stuck in their room with my mom’s huge piles of horror paperbacks. I’d spend the day reading and imagining my own stories, and it never stopped.

You certainly seem to have a thing with Zombies, what is the most creative way you have come up with to kill one?

In one of my short stories I have a guy who has no weapons and uses arms and legs of dead people to fight with against zombies, and the entire story he fights with them. It’s actually not published yet but might be included in the next Dying Days book, Still Dying: Select Scenes From Dying Days.

Now that is just awesome!! 

Do you see yourself branching out into other avenues of Horror writing?

Definitely. I have several non-zombie horror short stories out, including my Skulls and Bones. Death. Cenote short story collections, my Death Metal thriller novella, and more to come.

We have both written a novel called Highway to Hell, but have you ever opened a novel and seen the name of one of your characters in its pages?

Not yet. I imagine if you write enough stories you’ll eventually run into one. I almost used the same name from years ago in a story and knew it sounded familiar. I looked through my own stories and found it, which was funny. I notice book titles with the same names, like our Highway To Hell one, and Nathan Squiers and I both have one called Death Metal. I also put our Heavy Metal Horror anthology out in 2009 and see a new call for an anthology with the same title out now. My next books, The Holy Bible and To Kill A Mockingbird better not get stolen.

I am a huge Stephen King fan. Who is your favorite Author and what one of their stories sticks in your mind the most?

HP Lovecraft was the first author I read that wasn’t mainstream-sounding to me like King and Koontz. This guy had some seriously weird and old sounding stories and as a teen it was scary stuff, making you think beyond your window about the universe. I can still pick up one of his books and read it, knowing the story well, but needing to read it again. I love reading all the Cthulhu mythos stories from other authors as well.

I am rather ashamed to say that I have not read enough of Lovecraft’s work. However, the things I have read, blew my mind. I can certainly say I will always remember my first Lovecraft experience. I read two shorts one night. The Alchemist and The Beast in the Cave

What books have most influenced your life most?

The Rising by Brian Keene influenced my zombie writing. Before this book I’d never read zombie fiction or even thought too much about it. I didn’t think it would translate well to books, only movies. I was wrong, and started reading everything zombie I could find.

Was there ever a time in your life when you were truly scared?

Yes. One time, as an operative, I had amnesia and had to figure out who was trying to kill me… no, wait, that was Jason Bourne. Nah, I’ve lived a pretty cushy life, although I fought way too much in my late teens and early twenties and had a bad temper. I don’t anymore, so SHUT UP!!

 

 Armand Rosamilia is a New Jersey boy currently living in sunny Florida, where he is completely unprepared for the coming zombie apocalypse. And it is coming. He hopes to be one of the first killed during it so he doesn’t have to worry. His fiction is mostly zombie, including the Stellar Ultima Outstanding Zombie Award (he just made that up on the spot) for his Dying Days series. He will keep writing zombie stories as long as people keep buying them. He is in love with Twitter at the moment, so find him at @ArmandAuthor before he grows bored with it. http://armandrosamilia.com

                                                                             

An Old House

In February we moved into a new house. Well, new for us. The house itself is from around the 1930′s.

At the time, we could not stay where we were much longer, thanks to some antisocial and utterly unapproachable neighbors; oblivious or rather, not bothered by their actions, and a housing association that simply didn’t care.

This house came as a godsend. We were delighted with it. It offers us possible – with a very simply bit of work – four bedrooms, a garden, two-story brick shed and a wonderful neighborhood for both my wife and I, and the children.

However, if you were to look at the house with an objective eye, I think the best term you could come up with your be… ‘project’.

The landlord, a close friend of my wife’s uncle, is the very definition of Scrooge.

This is actually what he looked like when we signed the contracts!!

He has not invested in the house since he bought it in the 70′s. The heating is still individual open flame gas units that consume a big chunk of space.

Still, they keep us warm. Although only one bedroom has one.

Still, the house is a working project, something that needs a bit of TLC, but could become a great house. The problem, well two problems I am faced with are:

Money:   Money is always a problem for us, and so finding money to put to one side is a large undertaking. (Enter hopeful freelance work). A second tier of the problem is what ‘project’ we will do first. If you ask me the heating – we had to install a new unit yesterday as we had no hot water – and the flooring on the ground floor come first. We have really old and stained carpet in at the moment and it makes everything else look untidy as a result.

It’s a Rental: The second problem is that this house is a rental. So any improvements we make are ultimately only going to benefit our miserly landlord. I am sure he loves this quandary, and can see as well as I can that if we plan to stay here long-term, then we will need to change certain things.

The contract does say anything with the house, structurally is his responsibility, and he will do it, but it takes a long long time, and it is done begrudgingly.

I love my house, and I do think Old houses have much more character than new builds. I just need to find that balance. Sort out the important work; like the flooring, from the larger things like adding a new window unit into the converted attic to create more space.

I see it as a challenge, and one I am relishing, but until then, I am sure I will get frustrated along the way. That’s just how I seem to be.

 

 

Oh yeah, I have a blog

I realized something last night. Something that seemed to have slipped my mind completely over the last few weeks.

I have a blog!

I’m not really sure I could forget such a think but it would seem I have.

Ever since I have come back from England my life has been a big hectic mess.

In one of the posts that I did manage to get written since then, I talked about my new writing schedule. While this works, it does also see me walking a thin line between success and failure.

With my day being so divided and having three young children running around, it is easy for an entire session to be lost. I think at least one of the three has been awake before 5am every day these last two weeks.

Coupled with work going crazy and me offering to do a couple of things, which I now have the feeling are far bigger tasks than first envisioned, my days have been disappearing at a frightening rate. By the end of each one, I am left wondering which way I am facing and am lucky if I can come up with the answer before bedtime.

In short, my life has gone a bit hectic. I find myself staring at the mountain of things I need to do (writing and office related) and it kind of paralyses me for a while.

Sadly the net result of this, besides a vastly increased caffeine intake is that my poor old blog gets forgotten.

My goal is to post at lest three times next week, as well as jump back on the ROW80 bandwagon. although I may just wait for the next round to begin.

I will end this post of a positive thought and with a happy message, because while busy, I have never felt better.

 

 

Multi-Tasking

When I finished the final edits on the second Highway to Hell installment, I found myself at a crossroad.

I had so many different projects planned out in my head, I was not sure which to do first. This got me thinking. Is it possible to work on multiple projects at the same time?

Until now, I have always had a very straightforward approach to my writing. I knew it wasn’t perfect, and needed to be tweaked in order for me to be the most productive, so this just felt like the right moment to go about it.

My system was simple, I would wake up, and I would write at any available moment. Once I was finished writing, I would edit. That was pretty much it. I didn’t edit as I wrote, I simply split the task right down the middle. It worked, don’t get me wrong, but it just wasn’t as productive as I know it could have been.

I have decided to take not only a more structured approach to my writing, but to my day in general.

I have split my writing time into three sessions. Morning, Lunch and Evening.

The early mornings, before I leave for work, are now dedicated to the new novel. I am actually planning this novel chapter by chapter, and feel it is already benefiting from being planned out in advance. I also plan to edit chapter by chapter too, which will also fall into this, first portion of my day.

During my lunch break at work – a whopping thirty minutes – I will edit my completed short story collection. I am in no rush to get this done, and the lunch break offers the perfect opportunity.

My evening shift will then be taken up by either some freelance work (if I can find it – subject of a post later this week) or my new novel again.

I don’t why, but I seem to feel much more productive doing this. Whether it is just the thought that I am working on more than one project, or because I am keeping my brain fresh and on its toes, I don’t know. All I do know is that it seems to be working, for me.

What about you? Can you, or do you, work on more than one project at a time? If so how do you divide your time?

I don’t think I could write two separate projects at once, but writing one and editing another is a different story. In theory the two compliment each other, and keep the subconscious ticking over and aware of what is going on.

The other bonus that I have discovered is that not only do I get a better burst of writing done in one particular sitting, but I am no longer so hard on myself. I have my 750 a day target, and this morning, because my daughter was awake and wanted to play, I only got 500 words done. Normally this would have driven me to write more and more over the rest of the day, but because that was my allotted time for the new WIP, I didn’t feel as guilty for missing out. I came close and tomorrow will try harder to make up some words but that is it.

It actually got me thinking about a post a good friend of mine wrote a while back. The immensely talented LauraLynn Elliott wrote about how she set herself time limits instead of word limits and how it changed her whole writing outlook. It is a short post, but thought-provoking and well worth a read.

The Friday Feeling

A little bit of fun for you inspired by the legendary Tommy Cooper

1. Two blondes walk into a building — you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message:  ‘If you want to buy  marijuana, press the hash key.’

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for  shorts.  The shrink says,

‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.’

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day — but I couldn’t find any.

5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli — a strong currant pulled him in.

6. A man recovered in hospital after a serious accident.  He shouted, ‘Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!’ The doctor replied, ‘I know, I’ve cut off your hands’.

7. I went to a Seafood Disco last week, and pulled a muscle.

8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft.  It sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

9.  Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.  Police say that he topped himself.

10 Man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head.  Doc says,  ‘I’ll give you some cream to put on that.’

11. ‘Doc, I can’t stop singing:  ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’

Doc says,  ‘That sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. ‘

‘Is it common, doc?’

‘Well, it’s not unusual.’

12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.  ‘My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?’

‘Well,’ says the vet, ‘let’s have a look at him.’ and he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.  Finally, he says, ‘I’m going to have to put him down.’

‘What? — because he’s cross-eyed?’

‘No, because he’s really heavy’

13. Guy goes into the doctor’s.  ‘Doc, I’ve got a cricket ball  stuck up my backside.’

‘How’s that?’

‘Oh, don’t you start.’

14.  What do you call a fish with no eyes? — a fsh.

15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can  you give me a lift?’  I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, so go for it.’

16.  Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese.  There are 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese.  It’s either my mum or my Dad — or my older brother Colin — or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu — but I think it’s Colin.

17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other ‘Your round.’

The second one replies,

‘So are you, you fat bastard!’

18.  Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.  They charged one and let the other one off.

19. ‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.  They left a little note on the windscreen.  It said, ‘Parking Fine.’  I thought that was nice.

20 . A man walked into the doctor’s, he said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places’

The doctor said, ‘Well don’t go there any more’

21. Ireland ‘s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna  plane crashed into a cemetery.  Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Trust your instincts

From trust, comes confidence. It is a saying often used when describing other people, but what about ourselves. If we are confident in our abilities, then we are more trusting of ourselves when we believe that something should be done.

I learned a long time ago, that in life, it is always best to trust your instincts, and I truly believe that the same principle can be… no, should be applied, to our writing.

There are two incidents of note in my past that, when I think about them today, I still chide myself for not doing them differently, for not trusting myself and or being confident enough in my own abilities.

For me, both moments came doing the same thing. I used to be part of the Special Constabulary when I lived in UK. Which is the voluntary Police Force.  While out on duty one night, with a regular police officer, we were called to a local school for the reports of a break-in.

We took up positions at various points in the ground, and told to stand watch while other units searched the school etc. I remember standing there and hearing something. It was about 1 am, and there was no lighting, other than my torch. I turned and shone the light over the hedgerow that bordered the school field, but saw nothing. I kept hearing something but was called away because they said the area was clear.  Just as we left, the dog unit arrived and gave a quick sweep of the area. The dog ran over to the hedge near where I was standing, and the man was hiding there. The officer with the dog pulled him out and got the arrest.

Had I been more confident in myself, and not so intimidated by being surrounded by the ‘regular’ officers, I would have looked a little longer, found the man, and then the arrest would have been mind.

 

The second such incident again occurred during the early hours of the morning. We chased a man and when we caught him it was in an area of wasteland in the town. There were four or five regular officers, a dog, and me. As they were grabbing the man, I was sure I saw him throw something away.  Nobody mentioned is and they handcuffed him, searched him and walked away. I wanted to have a look, to follow up on my suspicions that he had dumped something but didn’t. I told myself that if all of the real police and the dog thought nothing of it, then it was probably nothing.

Later on, an officer went back to look for something else, something they had dropped during the chase, and low and behold there was a large packet of cannabis that the man had clearly thrown away between the debris.

Once again, had I been confident in myself, and just trusted my own instincts, not allowing myself to be intimidated, or rather, influenced, by those around me, I would have gotten both arrests, and certainly made a good impression with the real officers.

I am a firm believe that the same is true in our writing. We should not follow writing trends just because they are hot at that moment, or do certain things with our characters because that is what people expect us to do. If it doesn’t feel right to you, then don’t write it. If your gut tells you that this hero just isn’t the great guy he appears to be, then don’t force him to be it.

By following our instincts, we will make out writing much more real, and that will carry far more impact than having a character behave the way people want him to simply because it that’s how they, as readers, want him to be.

Shots

The music thumped and the strobe lighting was in full swing, making the entire club look like a psychedelic black and white stop-go animation.

Isaac Barlow was in the mood to party, and this seemed like just the place to be. The sun was shining outside; the windows were bricked up inside and out, creating total darkness for them all. The DJ, was in full swing, not feeling the effect of the previous two night’s full moon; his fur was matted with sweat, but didn’t let it stop the beats from flowing.

“Come on newbie. Let’s get a drink. We got some celebrating to do!” Gorel slapped Isaac on the back. “I’m buying I guess, you’ve only been risen a couple of hours but I know you’re good for it.” He added.

Gorel was Isaac’s sire, the man who both turned him and welcomed him as he clawed his way to the surface once the sun had gone down. Gorel and Isaac were now linked, bonded in a way that mortals could not ever hope to understand. A physical and psychic connection was made and it could only be severed in death… a second death at least.

“What will it be my young ward? Pick your poison and let the good times roll, but be careful, don’t fill up for come sundown I hear there will be a big party down by the beach. Surf and turf if you know what I mean.” Gorel laughed, flashing the bartender a blood covered $20

“Um… I don’t know… I mean … I…it all smells so good.” Isaac stammered, his eyes surveyed the inverted bodies hung against the wall behind the bar.

“Well let me choose for you.” Gorel answered him. “We’ll take two double shots of the blonde there.” He pointed down the bar at the row of women hanging by their feet. “Second from the right in the green t-shirt.” He added, noticing that there was a slightly skinnier looking blonde at the other end; the house brand . . . in other words a junkie. Her blood was tainted but still good enough for mixers.

Guest Appearance Today

Today I am making a special appearance over at the blog of Amelia Curzon, where I am talking about passion, and how our own personal passions will often be found lurking within our writing.

 

Know Your Passion, Know Your Art 

We all have something that we do every day, something that we turn to when stressed, or upset, when celebrating or when in need of a distraction. We all have a passion. I don’t mean passion in the sense of showing your love for another, but rather a hobby. For some it is exercise, for others, it is cooking or collecting a particular item. Whatever it is, a passion is simply something unique to us that we know will always be there for us to turn to when we need it.

Obviously, my main passion in life is writing. Yet, that is merely the surface of it all, for what drives us to write, what underlying themes and items are present in every piece we create? There are our true passions, the things that always creep in somehow…

For more, hop on over to Amelia’s blog.