David Sliker's Blog

The Lessons of “Inside Out” and Modern Songwriting

My favorite movie of 2015 was Pixar’s “Inside Out”. There is an obvious reason for this: the storyline involves the trials, growing pains, and emotional development of a 12-year-old girl. As a father, a movie about the necessity of growth, change, and maturity in the lives of children that I would rather, sentimentally, see stay the same age forever is a film that will always have my attention. This is not why Inside Out was my favorite movie that year, however.

The core theme of the movie was one of the most profound I have ever seen on a movie screen. What was the central message? That true joy is only really possible on the other side of sadness and pain. Sadness, loss, and pain as vital experiences necessary to enter true joy? C. S. Lewis would have been proud. I’ve thought about the central character’s journey from childlike happiness and contentment to disruption, pain, and loss, to a new place of rest and deep joy often over this past year. The beauty of the movie is that this journey is mirrored by the 12-year-old, Riley, and one of her interior emotions, Joy. As Riley loses the home and life she knew and loved, she begins to lose elements of her interior life that were precious to Joy (and to her parents). These interior elements are representative of her childhood: her playfulness, her friendships, even her simple relationship with her parents.

Riley, throughout the movie, is profoundly unhappy. Her unhappiness empowers Sadness, another interior emotion, and causes great disruption within the inner workings of her emotional “hierarchy”. The simple things that Joy had done in Riley’s earlier years to keep her happy were no longer working. Riley was entering into a season of complexity and pain that simple answers and sweet memories were not potent enough to answer. In order to be useful for Riley in the years to come, Joy would have to embark (against her will) on a journey to discover the depths of true joy as it works in partnership with sadness. The reality of the pain and loss meant that Riley could neither avoid her pain, nor could she medicate it through pretense and childish habits. She had to wrestle with her pain and process it honestly with her parents to come through the other side a young woman, emotionally healthy, free, and ready to engage in her new world.

The Search for Happiness

As I survey the modern music scene, I see a clear trend in pop music, which would encompass popular Christian music as well. Happiness and hope permeate modern music, and nowhere is this more evident than Christian worship. A fascinating overview of this trend can be found here. In the article, “The Sun is Always Shining in Christian Pop”, is a simple, fascinating (and brief) examination of the language of modern Christian music. In one example, the researcher mentions that the use of the word “life” in Christian songwriting outnumbered the use of the word “death” by a ratio of 8:1.

I should note that it is not my intention to demonize escapist music. “Happy” music and themes in modern songwriting are clearly reflecting a common reach across generations. One of the most viral videos ever recorded is a Facebook Live video of a mom happily celebrating her new Chewbacca mask, laughing wildly and freely. I love it! Most of the top 20 most viewed YouTube videos of all time – with views in the billions – are songs that reflect the pursuit of happiness and the enjoyment of life. Clearly we are a generation that loves to feel good: about our lives, about our future, and about our (hopefully temporary) setbacks. We love to meditate on victory, power, and hope.

This is not inherently wrong. It is, however, potentially stunting as it relates to our emotional development and our maturity.

The lessons of Inside Out can be instructive here. When we are content to settle for happiness, we may never experience true joy. Remember, for our main character, Riley, it was necessary for her to move beyond mere happiness if she was going to continue to grow and develop emotionally. The movie argues that it is necessary for our children to grapple with pain, loss, and sadness. I fear that, in the era of an explosion of social media, video games, smartphones, and beyond that there are more ways than ever to avoid wrestling with pain and settle for either feeling good or feeling nothing.

Make Something Useful

“I have found that all ugly things are made by those who strive to make something beautiful, and that all beautiful things are made by those who strive to make something useful.” – Oscar Wilde 

My goal, then, is to appeal to both songwriters and consumers of modern songs to reach for something that may be far more useful than the “feel good” music that is exploding in every corner of our nation. Songwriters can reach for something richer than happiness, but harder and far more costly to obtain. I believe that the most useful art is that which reflects the full spectrum of the pain and messiness of the human experience, yet breaks through to the sweetness of true joy.

I believe that a generation that is becoming saturated with ways to escape pain needs help – from artists, songwriters, authors, and caring leaders – to learn how to take the harder road and face their pain and brokenness. This kind of art takes true courage to make. It requires that we put a measure of our own pain, brokenness, and loss on display for others to critique. This can be awkward at best, humiliating at worst. An entire generation is learning how to find an easy way out of pain in their reach for happiness, positivism, and saccharine-sweet depictions of hope. We need courageous leaders in every arena that are willing to show us a different way, towards something deeper and far more satisfying.

Jesus said that, “He who is forgiven much, loves much.” Could it be that, in an era of cheaply obtained happiness and “positive vibes”, our feelings are cheaply satiated but our love grows ever colder? I’ve found in my marriage that the deepest love breaks through my most stubborn darkness. My wife and I have endured much as we’ve wrestled through pain, failure, and brokenness and come through by grace into deep affection, respect, and joy in our friendship and love for one another. In an era of what is perhaps historic pain-avoidance, I am watching lives and marriages crumble all around me before they can taste the sweetness of true joy.

Think again on the simple truth spoken by Jesus above, from Luke 7:47. The Bible contains the full spectrum of the darkness of man’s sin, confronting the truth about human nature and our brokenness like no other written work. Yet the redemption and joy on the other side of that darkness is incomparably glorious and enjoyable. The Psalms and the Song of Solomon are some of the most beautiful songs ever written, filled with hope and true joy as they bring the listener through the darkest of valleys – valleys of death, pain, sin, and brokenness that express the truth of what every man and every woman wrestles with daily.

Artist, Songwriter, Author, I appeal to you today to consider what could be one of the most useful applications of your creativity: the discipleship of a generation through the shadow, through the valley, and through the raw, sometimes unbearable pain of life. Take us to the other side of that pain, through sadness and loss, into unspeakable joy.

The Church, The State, and the Refugees of the Middle East

Introduction: Church and State

One of the great debates that is currently raging across the body of Christ and the political spectrum involves thousands and thousands of Middle Eastern refugees. This may be one of the rare arguments in which both “sides” are right, to varying degrees and measures. I am not concerned with arguing the merits of each perspective. My hope is that this argument provides a critical window for the church to extract itself from the political arguments that we might simply be the church. Democrats and Republicans can debate the issues of responsibility to care for refugees versus caring about national security. As concerned citizens, it is important for believers to hear and consider the political arguments. However, our first responsibility as believers is to stand as representatives of another kingdom and another King.

Therefore, our national “voice” must sound more like Jesus than our favorite candidate or political commentator. Is our worldview and perspective more informed by the heart of Jesus and His word? Are we more ideological than we are theological? We are free to hold our candidates and our pundits to a constitutional standard when they speak on governmental matters. However, when we speak as believers, we must always be held to a biblical standard. We must, therefore, avoid choosing a political “side”. As Christians, we represent an entirely different “side” of every argument, one that must be formed and informed by “heavenly wisdom” that refuses to lean on our own understanding.

As we engage others in the debate about Syrian (and other) refugees – and whether our nation should or should not receive them – we must remember that our first thoughts should not involve what our nation should do.  Our first thoughts must involve what our responsibility is as the church towards refugees and others seeking aid. In approaching the refugee crisis in this way, I can honor the desire of my national leaders (appointed by God, according to Paul in Romans). I can appreciate why many of them would want to emphasize and care about national security issues. That is their job! I sincerely appreciate and honor political leaders and candidates who take that part of their job seriously.  However, as a Christian I have a very different concern. As a church, we have a very different goal. Our primary desire is to see the lost, the poor, and the oppressed find refuge and freedom first in the gospel of Jesus Christ, then in the family of Jesus Christ.

Hospitality: the Biblical Mandate

From the beginning of the history of God’s people, one of the God-ordained duties of the righteous was hospitality—meaning, the willingness to open our homes, hearts, and lives to guests, visitors, strangers, and the refugee. The people of God in the Old Testament understood hospitality as an ordinance in the law of God. Later, the New Testament reemphasized the mandate of hospitality three times for the family of God. In other places, the New Testament emphasized hospitality as something we are to embody as a fruit of the grace of God in our lives.

Hospitality was a command given to all believers, regardless of personality type or gift-orientation. No one is “naturally” good at hospitality, and many have relegated this expression of loving others to warm extroverts who love company and have a “special gift.” Every overseer, or elder, in the Body of Christ was to be “hospitable.” Paul made this a requirement for all who were chosen to exercise spiritual government within the church. Why? Because hospitality can be found in the very foundations of the gospel and the early stages of the story of man’s redemption. It is a core aspect of the transforming grace of God working within us as we grow in love. It is part of what makes us “approved” to govern as an elder or leader in the Body of Christ. God desires hospitality to be at the core of every church culture, beginning with godly leadership expressing it to the Body, to build and strengthen a thriving family under His care.

The mandate to express the same love that we have received from God speaks of how we too can be a part of impacting the future of a stranger in dynamic and meaningful ways. By receiving a stranger into our home, we are being used by the Spirit of God to join someone else’s story in a beautiful way, which then causes both of our stories to intertwine and move forward together. This is the heart of biblical hospitality, and how the family of God grows and is strengthened.

“Pursuing” Hospitality and Compassion

13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Rom. 12:13)

In Romans 12:13, Paul states that all believers are to “contribute to the needs of the saints” and “practice hospitality” (NIV). The word practice in verse 13 literally means to “pursue.” We are to pursue hospitality as a core expression of our faith in Christ. The verb that Paul uses here implies continuous action, or a constant attitude and practice. Our homes should stand constantly ready for prophetic (i.e., Spirit-led) hospitality—a readiness to welcome guests, visitors, and strangers with love and kindness. Hospitality is something that can easily be neglected in our lives. Paul is asking all believers to exercise the “muscle” of hospitality diligently.

For many, our natural inclination is to resist being hospitable. My default in everyday life is to rest, gravitate towards the safe friendships and people I have grown to trust, isolate myself, and wait for someone to pull me out of the little world that I have built for myself. Others are too distracted, too busy, too absorbed in the immediate tasks that occupy their days. The temptation to retreat into a self-centered life is far more powerful than the unknown reward of welcoming others into our lives and family. In today’s world, it is easier to busy ourselves with tasks and forget that our heart longs—and enjoys—impacting those around us in meaningful ways. We were made to love, but so easily get stuck in our isolated ruts.

We need grace and help from the Lord to break out of our isolation. We cannot wait for those around us to invite us—we need the power, freedom, and life of the Holy Spirit. This is something far deeper and more powerful than merely being “social.” When we practice hospitality, we experience the refreshing joy of becoming conduits of God’s hospitality as it flows through us to those around us.  We must fight continually to avoid becoming self-centered and stagnant pools. The joy of receiving God’s hospitality fades quickly over time if it does not grow and flourish in our own hospitality to others.

Biblical hospitality is an opportunity to grow in thanksgiving towards God for what He has done for us, to grow in our life in the Spirit as we look to be hospitable to others and experience the thrill of feeling God’s power gloriously “interrupt” our own lives and the lives of people He loves—and wants us to love as well. By grace, Jesus will help us conquer our fears, our lack of generosity, and our self-centered self-protection. There is great joy in experiencing the liberating power of God’s hospitality as it renews our heart. His goal is to make us into a radically different kind of family. The family of God is to be populated by those who love to show the glory of his grace as we extend it to others in all kinds of hospitality.

Conclusion

In light of this, how do we address the very real tensions that our government faces related to compassion and security? In my opinion, we should consider not addressing this tension at all. One of the things that I see related to the explosion of social media and the sea of opinions is a lack of understanding of the scope and limitations of the church, and the scope and limitations of government. The flood of data and information available to any concerned citizen via Google has seduced us into an expertise we do not actually have. The security issues that envelop the subject of how to welcome those in need are far beyond me. I simply do not have enough information or access to national intelligence sources to engage in a conversation about how our nation should walk out that tension.

Secondly, I find it more than interesting that the same Christians that have begun to engage with a renewed zeal to keep evangelical Christian voices out of government policy seem to have no problem imposing liberal Christian ideas into the governmental arena. I am not advocating for the removal of the Christian voice from the public square. I am advocating for our voice to be more prophetic and scriptural than it is political or ideological. I am also advocating for a renewed humility about our limitations in knowledge in arenas we rarely think about on a day-to-day basis.

What we should address, however, is the mandate that we have as the family of God to be hospitable. We are part of a kingdom whose heartbeat to show kindness and compassion to the stranger, the outcast, and the rejected ones. Therefore, our responsibility is to tell our governmental leadership that, when they have decided how to best serve the needs of the refugee and the needs of their citizens, the church is waiting. We want to love and serve the ones that we can. The rallying cry of the church to our government in this hour cannot be, “Keep us safe!” While I am glad that our government remains concerned with my safety, there is only One who can guarantee it. Our heavenly Father is the only One who can guarantee our tomorrows.  Therefore, we are free to voice a very different value to our leaders. With one voice our cry should be, “We will love!”

Parenting in the Discipline and Instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4)

One generation shall declare his works to another (Ps. 145:4)

The heart of this article��is not only directed at our parents or parents-to-be, it is an ���all hands on deck��� call to everyone in the body of Christ��who desires��to be a part of what the Lord is doing across the earth today. One of the great strengths of our prophetic history is the manner in which it has given us a ���big picture view��� of what the Holy Spirit is doing across the earth in our day as well as real clarity about our small part as a family in the larger story of God���s plan.

For many years now, the Lord has spoken to many groups across the earth that He is raising up a youth movement marked by the values of intercession, happy holiness, offerings to the poor, and prevailing faith ��� and that this youth movement would touch the ends of the earth. At the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, our��little part in this story is to keep a 24/7 prayer and worship sanctuary as we give ourselves to the work of the Great Commission��with��the body of Christ in this city and across the nations of the earth.

Ministry to youth is not our unique role by any means; ministries across the earth have embraced a calling to serve the next generation. However, ministry to young people is a core element of our identity as a spiritual family. It is a dynamic part of the ���family business��� that we do together here. My desire is to recapture and re-engage that element of the grace of God for my spiritual��family as we labor to strengthen our families, raise godly leaders and worshippers in our homes, and love young people as the Lord sends them to us to serve, nurture, and empower to do works of justice.

All of us��have been entrusted to do our small part in a big story faithfully; we play our little note in a global symphony and song (Isa. 42). The Lord is going to change the understanding and expression of Christianity in one generation, and it will involve both the maturity of the Church and the rage of the nations. A mature, lovesick Church will unify in a global song across the globe as movements and peoples engage the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Our ���note��� includes faithful service and a bold declaration of the works of the Lord to another generation (Ps. 145:4). In an hour in which young people are increasingly distressed, experiencing unprecedented waves of moral confusion, spiritual barrenness, fatherlessness, and a lack of vision and connection to the storyline of God, we have a stewardship that we must take seriously about serving��the youth of this family, city and nation and from around the nations of the earth.

Unique challenges to parenting and mentoring youth today

The Industrial Revolution (1760-1840) took over 150 years to fundamentally transform society: economics, military advancements and global war, and the transformation of the family unit. From ancient times, young people stayed connected to their core family unit until marriage ��� living with, working with, and growing up��near to their fathers and mothers. The Great Depression and the First World War created a new fatherlessness (either literal or through vocational and economic pressures) that caused, ���adolescent runaways [and] transient youth,��� which ���forced adult society to focus on teenage problems���

In 1900 only six percent of America���s 17-year olds earned high school diplomas. By 1939, close to 75 percent of 14-17-year olds were high school students. The goal, according to FDR���s National Youth Administration, was to provide training and job opportunities for America���s youth in a safe, disciplined environment so that they could go on to become productive citizens. A youth subculture quickly formed within high schools as ���teenagers��� emerged with a sense of independence and a separate identity from their parents���prior to marriage���for the first time in history.

��� One could make a strong argument that the American school system and the institution of Sunday School were both early prototypes of youth ministry, as were the YMCA, Christian Endeavor, Epworth League, Word of Life, and scores of independent local and regional outreaches to young people������modern��� youth ministry probably began in the 1940s with the rise of���Young Life (YL), founded by Jim Rayburn; Youth For Christ (YFC), founded by Torrey Johnson with Billy Graham as the first employee; and Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), founded by Don McClanen���God raised up these ministries, and later many others like them, in order to reach a generation rendered spiritually, emotionally and/or physically fatherless by World War II, modern industrialization, the myth of the American Dream, and the erosion of disciple-making as a foundational pillar of the faith.��� ��� Mike Higgs

Parents of that era were not necessarily equipped to deal with the rapid changes to society and the family unit, nor were they clear on how to engage��the emerging teenage sub-culture of that day. However, while the changes of the Industrial Revolution were immense and wide reaching, one could argue that they cannot compare to the incredible societal, cultural, and economic changes brought about by the Technological Revolution of the past decade. Whereas the Industrial Revolution brought dramatic changes to American society over a century, the Technological Revolution has brought unprecedented change within a mere ten years.

The changes to society, culture, economics, and beyond are happening faster than modern research is able to study. It is not clear what impact social media is having on the next generation, as researchers have not had enough time to analyze the data. By the time the data can be sufficiently collected, more rapid and systemic changes shift culture further.

Similar to the Industrial Revolution, the economic changes and access to information empowers and emboldens young people in ways that are unique to this era of history. There is a new democratization of ideas and a destabilization of authority structures as young people are able to acquire knowledge, wealth, and skill at younger and younger ages ��� without possessing the maturity to deal with new information, new knowledge, new abilities, and new possibilities. Books and articles abound detailing this new restless, narcissistic, idealistic emerging generation that has little use for conventional thinking related to work, recreation, and the new American Dream.

Daniel and Paul both spoke of a time like this in Dan. 12:4 and 2 Tim. 3:1-7. ���Knowledge will increase��� as men ���run to and fro.��� Men will be ���always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.���

Our young people���our own, our city���s, our nation���s���are in the midst of a historic moral, spiritual, and familial crisis that has no precedent in human history. We need biblical wisdom and spiritual breakthrough in the power of the Holy Spirit to effectively serve our own children and the young people that the Lord is sending here for us to steward.

This is too difficult an assignment to take on alone ��� and we cannot ���sub-contract��� this assignment to the ���youth specialist.��� This is an assignment that takes the entire spiritual family operating in unity and humility to carry out as we engage together in our mandate to be part of a youth movement that will touch the ends of the earth.

One of the strengths of IHOPKC for me as a parent is the team: CEC, Student Ministries, godly, safe families that model love for Jesus, the prayer room, etc. Team ministry that expresses healthy family dynamics is a powerful weapon in the hands of the Lord to mark a generation for His purposes. We go farther together in the ���commanded blessing of unity��� (Ps. 133) than we can alone or in isolation. God has an answer to the emerging crisis of lawlessness and love of self ��� young people who pray, love the Word of God, and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit as they give, love, and live extravagantly for the Lord even as deep darkness covers the earth.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children��� (Eph. 6:4a)

Paul speaks in this passage directly to fathers, which makes this passage difficult to preach in our modern context. One of the keys to effectively parenting the children in this hour of history is engaged, spiritually mature, emotionally connected fathers. I have seen godly women and amazing mothers do much for the kingdom of God in discipling great kids. However, in all my years of youth ministry it has been clear to me that fathers who fear the Lord and love their kids well produce incredible fruit.

If you are a single mom (we have many in our spiritual family), an orphan, or in a home with an unsaved, disconnected dad, I believe that the Lord wants to rally ���reinforcements��� to love, serve, and call you or your young people to greatness in the heart of God. If there is not a father in the home, there must be fathers in the ���House��� who are willing to engage. As young people descend on this House throughout the summer, fathers (young and old), who are willing to get into the trenches and prophesy, pray, and love the ones the Lord is sending, can mark someone for life.

���Exasperation��� or ���provoke to anger��� happens for two reasons: first, ���rules without relationship equals rebellion��� (James Dobson). Secondly, the reason that this is true is because of what relationship does. It provides a context for vision and purpose for the boundaries and structures necessary to propel a young person into their destiny. Children, as they grow into teenagers, need to know why, not just what. Teenagers crave vision and a sense of purpose and meaning. ���Exasperation��� happens when one becomes disconnected from identity and purpose, which renders the difficulties of life as meaningless. Wisdom, morality, and purity feel futile if they are not connected to the person of Christ and His larger storyline. Life cannot be merely about abstaining from wicked things. Holiness must be the reach for relationship, vision, and purpose.

Exasperation also happens when young people see either compartmentalization or inconsistency. In other words, if we say that something is true, we must live it and display it even when we don���t know they are looking. Is the Word real to us? Is it true? Then the knowledge of God and the worship of Him must permeate all��of our lives, which helps the next generation embrace authentic, vibrant faith in a real and beautiful God.

We will not do this perfectly or well. We must be those who acknowledge our weakness, confess, and apologize when we come up short. I by no means display amazing Christianity to my children; the faith I express is weak, broken, and constantly coming up short. However, my desire is to be radical in apologizing and owning what is true and where I come up short in the truth. I do this with my wife and with my children often. In the same way, my desire as a father is to love them loyally and fiercely in their weakness and brokenness. I never want my children to feel the ���exasperation��� of rejection when they come up short. I want to train my kids to be great repenters as we reach in weakness for the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit together.

As such, I don���t want to exasperate my kids by creating an impossible standard or subjecting them to unrealistic expectations. I want to call them to greatness, while giving them room to grow and thrive. I want to train them to ���fail well��� into the love, mercy, and tenderness of Christ. The same heart of the gospel that empowers me to run to Christ for grace and help in my time of need is the same heart I want to impart to my children (and to the next generation). As a family, I want to reach together for the grace of God with joy, as a brother in the Lord as well as a father in the faith. I take who they are and what they are called to be seriously and want to serve them in laying hold of it, recognizing the dignity and worth they have in Christ.

���bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the lord (Eph. 6:4b)

There is real power in ���declaring the works of the Lord��� to my children and to young people. Young people thrive when they hear the stories of the power of God, when they hear testimonies, and when they hear about the possibilities of grace and the life of the Holy Spirit. We want to fill our children with a vision for how far grace can take us and how much of God we can experience. The ���discipline of the Lord��� must be dynamically connected to a vision for breakthrough and glory or else we are simply training our children to perform for approval or acceptance.

Our children���s greatest needs include: need for acceptance without earning it (security); power to overcome deficiencies in their character (wholeness); and desire to impact people and circumstances (significance). The issue of free acceptance in love is that it meets their need for it from God and from us. Our kids cannot be helpful or useful without healthy relationships from family or godly friends who love us freely without striving to earn it. The absence of free acceptance���from God and other believers���leaves them fundamentally broken on the inside and incapable of relating in a healthy way with others. One of the rarest things teenagers have today is confidence: in sovereignty, in love, and in the grace of God.

Security in grace and union with Jesus is the only way to fully and confidently walk in the Spirit. When the revelation of the free acceptance of God produces security in the depths of their hearts, our kids will allow Jesus to come as near as He wants to and they can be truly filled with the Spirit. They become fearless in love���and thus trusting, voluntary bond-slaves who will follow Jesus wherever He leads.

Attempting to get our children to be committed as servants of God before they are secure in love almost always produces some form of fear-of-man-based performance or external holiness. True holiness flows out of passion, which begins with the free acceptance of the love of God. Passionate holiness (a red-hot heart with fiery gratitude) has life, joy, and compassion versus religious holiness, which has fear, judgment, criticism, insecurity, and condemnation with no passion or joy as they try to conform outwardly to principles without power.

One of our primary goals and constant battles to fight as parents is for true confidence in the love of Christ to fill the hearts of our children, all the days of their lives.

Teenagers: An American History. Palladino, Grace. (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 37.

U.S. Bureau of the Census, Historical Studies of the United States, Bicentennial Edition, Part I (U.S. Government Printing Office, 1975) 380, 379

The Gospel’s Promise of Peace, Rest, and Contentment for Moms

To hear this sermon, which I shared on Mother’s Day at the International House of Prayer, please go here.

Motherhood and The True Worth of a Woman

There are many women who dread “Mother’s Day Sermons” – in part, because preachers and pastors often forget to take into account the wide spectrum of life that happens around the subject. It’s never clear to some women, when we hand out the flowers and bless the moms, whether they should stand or what the day – and the calling – means to them in light of the circumstances of their lives. How does a woman who embraces singleness respond to these kinds of messages? How does a woman who has chosen to not have children respond? Is the primary contribution of a woman in a spiritual family her ability to bear and raise children?

It is important to acknowledge that the value, worth, and dignity of a woman is not wrapped into an assignment of a mother. We also want to celebrate and honor those who have gone before us – our own mothers who have shared in the joy and pain of every circumstance. I am writing to those who find themselves in the midst of a very challenging, difficult, and glorious calling from the Lord. Secondly, my goal is to remove unhealthy fear or wrong ideas attached to motherhood related to ideals surrounding gifts, calling, and destiny – the Internet has been a blessing and a curse related to encouragement and condemnation. It has served as a resource, a means of connecting and helping moms feel normal, and empowered. However, it has also served as a constant mirror reminding moms that there is “more” they can do, and “more” they can be. The temptation to surrender endless condemning comparisons is real and powerful.

In this light, it may be helpful to remember the preaching of Paul to the Corinthian church. Corinth in that day was part of a humanistic, self-seeking culture.  Therefore, gifts and calling were an important measurement of worth and value.  The church struggled with  a “look at me” culture enamored with human potential – one not so different from our own.  If anything, what the Corinthians (and the Greeks) began, our modern culture has perfected as it relates to our ability to express ourselves at the cost of exalting Jesus.  This is why Paul reminded them that they received the gospel not from the most gifted or from the greatest of the apostles, but from the “least” of the apostles:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. (1 Cor. 15:10)

One of the primary challenges of motherhood is the difficulty in embracing the seasons of Christ’s leadership in the midst of a fallen and broken world, in which circumstances and troubles change “the template” of what motherhood looks like for so many women. When life doesn’t turn out the way we thought it was supposed to, and when it doesn’t look like what we thought it would, grappling with the disappointments and comparisons make it hard to find rest and joy in the heart of the Lord.

The great challenge of being a woman and a mom in the kingdom is to know that there is a real promise of contentment and joy in the gospel but to feel so far from it in times and seasons during which the restlessness, challenges, frustrations, and cares of this life can seem overwhelming and we can feel powerless.

The great questions in a woman’s heart in what can often be an “anti-woman” culture are the questions of worth, ability, contributions, and comparisons in a Pinterest-driven, Instagram-fueled, cloth-diaper, essential oils world of competing expectations, standards, and solutions to the problems and challenges of life. There are attitudes towards motherhood that have arisen from outside of the church and from within the church. In a world that increasingly has defined the value and the worth of a woman from the perspective of societal options and earnings potential, being a mom is something that seems lower on the priority scale of realizing full human potential.

This mindset has seemingly found a place within the church as well, as younger women wrestle more than ever between two opposing structures of “home and children” versus “calling and ministry”. Think about what we call “favor” or “hidden”. The longing to realize the full potential of a woman’s gifts, abilities, and desire for impact seems out of synch with a desire to be a mom, to raise a family, and to nurture that family in a loving home. This picture of life seems limiting, old-fashioned, outdated, and even, in some circles, the product of a male-dominated society.

It is more critical than ever that we, as parents, build into our girls a proper foundation of identity and value in Christ as we equip their hearts to navigate the seasons of life according to their highest calling, which is found in the will of God, not according to culture measurements. When our joy begins with the gospel, our identity is established in the heart of Jesus and His love for us, which empowers us to embrace His calling from a foundation of acceptance, affection, and access to His grace – by which we stand, and is not given in vain. “We are who we are” with joy in the gospel.

The Cultural Issues and Spiritual Battles of Motherhood

There are many challenging and difficult battles for moms – both external and internal. The external challenges revolve around cultural expectations and imposed morality and ideals about what a great (fulfilled) life looks like connecting to either (1) what being a great woman looks like or (2) what being a great mom looks like. The weight of cultural expectations and peer performance and ideals creates real pressure on the heart of a mom.

Beyond this there is another challenge: the devil hates moms. In Ephesians 2, Paul tells us that the “course of this world” has been set by the Prince of the Air, Satan himself. From the garden, Satan has targeted women with his hatred, and throughout redemptive history he has sought to destroy women. The story of redemptive history begins with the promise of a woman who would bear the seed of victory and ends with a victorious Bride overcoming the evil one. Therefore, from the beginning, the enemy has sought to kill, steal, destroy women, pervert the societal view of the worth and the dignity of a woman, and set up a counterfeit bride to seduce the nations into corruption and perversion.

The culture, therefore, around the church, has either had an oppressive, dehumanizing view of women or a humanistic view of empowering women. This has meant that, historically, woman were viewed as servants and objects to make the destiny of men possible.  This distorts the dignity and worth of a woman in the home. In some contexts, women were viewed as the same as men, losing their God-given distinctions with confusion about their unique part in the redemptive storyline of God – which in turn destabilizes and devalues the calling of moms in the home.

This has caused a shift in the culture within the church. Within the church presently, 61% of a typical congregation is female, 39% is male; in frontier missions, Nik Ripken (in his latest book, “The Insanity of Obedience”) reports that single female missionaries outnumber men by a ratio of 7 to 1. Barna has reported that 70% of teenage men leave the church upon graduation, many of whom do not return. When combined with the current cultural thrust of female empowerment (some of which is healthy, some of which, as noted, is humanistic and disconnected from scripture), I find among young women much confusion about the issues of calling, destiny, and motherhood. Does my calling in God end when a woman becomes a mother? Are they “laying their calling down” to raise children? What does it mean to live as a missionary, a minister of the gospel, a corporate success, in light of the calling of a mom?

The Gospel’s Answer to the Pressures of Motherhood

These kinds of cultural pressures can create expectations and ideals that create unhealthy comparisons among young moms and apply real pressure to the soul. A mom in today’s world is expected to work full-time, manage the home (clean, cook, nurture, schedule), exercise, eat organic, use the right oils, decorate with the right look, paint with the right color, use the right kind of diaper, avoid the wrong kinds of food and clothing, therefore becoming a PhD level researcher, a high-level corporate manager, and a microbiologist who stays thin and trendy on the side. A young mom, therefore, can become plagued with questions related to her own inadequacies and self-doubt: Am I Enough? Am I Doing it Right? Should I Do it Their Way?

The answer for moms is found in the great promise of the gospel: access by faith into this grace in which we stand (Rom. 5:1-2):

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. (Ro 5:1-2)

One of the outrageous benefits of our union to Jesus is our access to Him in all that He possesses and does. Moms have access to the same grace of God that took them out of darkness conveying them to light (that is, the grace in which they now stand). Accessing and partaking of the grace of God in which they stand releases a profound joy and power now as well as certainty of experiencing the fullness of the glory of God in the future.

The gospel’s power is far more potent than we realize – more than delivering us out of our former state into a new relationship with God, it has the power to change our mindsets, emotions, and desires in a powerful way that enables us to love differently and deeply. The Holy Spirit wants to empower moms and all women in today’s culture with real strength that equips them to keep their eyes on the true prize, prioritizing the love, acceptance, and affections of Christ, and laugh in the face of cultural morality that seeks to add to the gospel of God.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” (Prov. 31:25)

“To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever.” (Rev. 1:6-7)

Therefore, the glorious freedom that comes through the love of Christ enables us to walk free from all condemnation.  A mom can rest in the knowledge that Jesus loved her long before she was ever a mom. In fact, she is so much more than a mom in His definition of her life, her worth, and her value to Him. Moms can approach the Father with complete freedom, and without any sense of condemnation (guilt and defeatism). Preoccupation with the penalty and power of sin destroys our confidence in God’s presence. Women can walk free of ungodly comparisons and cultural opinions as they rejoice in the power of His opinion and delight in their hearths and lives.

1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus… (Rom. 8:1)

The revelation of grace breaks our sense of timidity before Satan or sin so that we live without guilt and expectation of persistent failure. We are not beggars, but joint-heirs with Jesus. Many believers live in perpetual defeat because they do not know who they are in Christ and the place they have before the Father. Our greatest need for is to know who we are in Christ, or how the Father sees us. If we do not understand this, we will not enjoy the benefits of freely receiving the righteousness of God. Woman can stand in boldness in the truth that God is our Father who loves us – not based on their performance as moms, employees, or wives. They do not have to stand on the basis of the success or failures of their children. As Christians, we stand as ones loved fiercely and loyally by our Father in heaven. Rather than fighting for relevance, meaning, and a sense of satisfaction in the “job” they are doing at home or at work, moms can rest in the joy of being fought for by the God that loves them deeply, and cares about their future and their success intimately.

The sense of unworthiness, condemnation, or preoccupation with the penalty and power of sin is a cause for many spiritual failures. It kills faith and spiritual initiative, leaving moms with a sense of rejection. It makes prayer miserable. It hinders our desire for God. Understanding of God’s righteousness causes us to have a confident spirit instead of living as a slave with sense of inferiority before the reign of sin. We can seek to remove condemnation by showing his sorrow for our sins, fasting, giving money, sacrificial service, or even public confession of our sins. We can seek to find it in an orderly home, in obedient, high-performing children, or even a great marriage. These small “victories” may bring short-term relief, but they never bring confidence to us before God.

The hope of a mother is not found in the seeming vindication that comes from good kids, a clean home, or an attentive husband and father. Her only hope is found in the liberation of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that her spirit is now experiencing glorious union with the Son of God by the power of the Holy Spirit – and that power and grace has now become her life and source of constant joy. Jesus has loved her well. He loves her powerfully today. He will love her forever, having nothing to do with her abilities, gifts, or diligence. Her value, worth, and dignity is rooted in the fact that Jesus loves her, and when that is enough, her heart can truly rest.

“U.S. Congregational Life Survey – Key Findings,” 29 October 2003,

The Gospel���s Promise of Peace, Rest, and Contentment for Moms

To hear this sermon, which I shared on Mother’s Day at the International House of Prayer, please go here.

Motherhood and The True Worth of a Woman

There are many women who dread ���Mother���s Day Sermons��� ��� in part, because preachers and pastors often forget to take into account the wide spectrum of life that happens around the subject. It���s never clear to some women, when we hand out the flowers and bless the moms, whether they should stand or what the day ��� and the calling ��� means to them in light of the circumstances of their lives. How does a woman who embraces singleness respond to these kinds of messages? How does a woman who has chosen to not have children respond? Is the primary contribution of a woman in a spiritual family her ability to bear and raise children?

It is important to acknowledge that the value, worth, and dignity of a woman is not wrapped into an assignment of a mother. We also want to celebrate and honor those who have gone before us ��� the mothers of every person represented here and have shared in the joy and pain of every circumstance, and speak to those who find themselves in the midst of a very challenging, difficult, and glorious calling from the Lord. Secondly, my goal is to remove unhealthy fear or wrong ideas attached to motherhood related to ideals surrounding gifts, calling, and destiny ��� the Internet has been a blessing and a curse related to encouragement and condemnation.

In this light, it may be helpful to remember the preaching of Paul to the Corinthian church. Corinth in that day was part of a humanistic, self-seeking culture.  Therefore, gifts and calling were an important measurement of worth and value.  The church struggled with  a ���look at me��� culture enamored with human potential ��� one not so different from our own.  If anything, what the Corinthians (and the Greeks) began, our modern culture has perfected as it relates to our ability to express ourselves at the cost of exalting Jesus.  This is why Paul reminded them that they received the gospel not from the most gifted or from the greatest of the apostles, but from the ���least��� of the apostles:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. (1 Cor. 15:10)One of the primary challenges of motherhood is the difficulty in embracing the seasons of Christ���s leadership in the midst of a fallen and broken world, in which circumstances and troubles change ���the template��� of what motherhood looks like for so many women. When life doesn���t turn out the way we thought it was supposed to, and when it doesn���t look like what we thought it would, grappling with the disappointments and comparisons make it hard to find rest and joy in the heart of the Lord.

The great challenge of being a woman and a mom in the kingdom is to know that there is a real promise of contentment and joy in the gospel but to feel so far from it in times and seasons during which the restlessness, challenges, frustrations, and cares of this life can seem overwhelming and we can feel powerless.

The great questions in a woman���s heart in what can often be an ���anti-woman��� culture are the questions of worth, ability, contributions, and comparisons in a Pinterest-driven, Instagram-fueled, cloth-diaper, essential oils world of competing expectations, standards, and solutions to the problems and challenges of life. There are attitudes towards motherhood that have arisen from outside of the church and from within the church. In a world that increasingly has defined the value and the worth of a woman from the perspective of societal options and earnings potential, being a mom is something that seems lower on the priority scale of realizing full human potential.

This mindset has seemingly found a place within the church as well, as younger women wrestle more than ever between two opposing structures of ���home and children��� versus ���calling and ministry���. Think about what we call ���favor��� or ���hidden���. The longing to realize the full potential of a woman���s gifts, abilities, and desire for impact seems out of synch with a desire to be a mom, to raise a family, and to nurture that family in a loving home. This picture of life seems limiting, old-fashioned, outdated, and even, in some circles, the product of a male-dominated society.

It is more critical than ever that we, as parents, build into our girls a proper foundation of identity and value in Christ as we equip their hearts to navigate the seasons of life according to their highest calling, which is found in the will of God, not according to culture measurements. When our joy begins with the gospel, our identity is established in the heart of Jesus and His love for us, which empowers us to embrace His calling from a foundation of acceptance, affection, and access to His grace ��� by which we stand, and is not given in vain. ���We are who we are��� with joy in the gospel.

The Cultural Issues and Spiritual Battles of Motherhood

There are many challenging and difficult battles for moms ��� both external and internal. The external challenges revolve around cultural expectations and imposed morality and ideals about what a great (fulfilled) life looks like connecting to either (1) what being a great woman looks like or (2) what being a great mom looks like. The weight of cultural expectations and peer performance and ideals creates real pressure on the heart of a mom.

Beyond this there is another challenge: the devil hates moms. In Ephesians 2, Paul tells us that the ���course of this world��� has been set by the Prince of the Air, Satan himself. From the garden, Satan has targeted women with his hatred, and throughout redemptive history he has sought to destroy women. The story of redemptive history begins with the promise of a woman who would bear the seed of victory and ends with a victorious Bride overcoming the evil one. Therefore, from the beginning, the enemy has sought to kill, steal, destroy women, pervert the societal view of the worth and the dignity of a woman, and set up a counterfeit bride to seduce the nations into corruption and perversion.

The culture, therefore, around the church, has either had an oppressive, dehumanizing view of women or a humanistic view of empowering women. This has meant that, historically, woman were viewed as servants and objects to make the destiny of men possible.  This distorts the dignity and worth of a woman in the home. In some contexts, women were viewed as the same as men, losing their God-given distinctions with confusion about their unique part in the redemptive storyline of God ��� which in turn destabilizes and devalues the calling of moms in the home.

This has caused a shift in the culture within the church. Within the church presently, 61% of a typical congregation is female, 39% is male; in frontier missions, Nik Ripken (in his latest book, ���The Insanity of Obedience���) reports that single female missionaries outnumber men by a ratio of 7 to 1. Barna has reported that 70% of teenage men leave the church upon graduation, many of whom do not return. When combined with the current cultural thrust of female empowerment (some of which is healthy, some of which, as noted, is humanistic and disconnected from scripture), I find among young women much confusion about the issues of calling, destiny, and motherhood. Does my calling in God end when a woman becomes a mother? Are they ���laying their calling down��� to raise children? What does it mean to live as a missionary, a minister of the gospel, a corporate success, in light of the calling of a mom?

The Gospel’s Answer to the Pressures of Motherhood

These kinds of cultural pressures can create expectations and ideals that create unhealthy comparisons among young moms and apply real pressure to the soul. A mom in today���s world is expected to work full-time, manage the home (clean, cook, nurture, schedule), exercise, eat organic, use the right oils, decorate with the right look, paint with the right color, use the right kind of diaper, avoid the wrong kinds of food and clothing, therefore becoming a PhD level researcher, a high-level corporate manager, and a microbiologist who stays thin and trendy on the side. A young mom, therefore, can become plagued with questions related to her own inadequacies and self-doubt: Am I Enough? Am I Doing it Right? Should I Do it Their Way?

The answer for moms is found in the great promise of the gospel: access by faith into this grace in which we stand (Rom. 5:1-2):

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. (Ro 5:1-2)

One of the outrageous benefits of our union to Jesus is our access to Him in all that He possesses and does. Moms have access to the same grace of God that took them out of darkness conveying them to light (that is, the grace in which they now stand). Accessing and partaking of the grace of God in which they stand releases a profound joy and power now as well as certainty of experiencing the fullness of the glory of God in the future.

The gospel���s power is far more potent than we realize ��� more than delivering us out of our former state into a new relationship with God, it has the power to change our mindsets, emotions, and desires in a powerful way that enables us to love differently and deeply. The Holy Spirit wants to empower moms and all women in today���s culture with real strength that equips them to keep their eyes on the true prize, prioritizing the love, acceptance, and affections of Christ, and laugh in the face of cultural morality that seeks to add to the gospel of God.

���Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.��� (Prov. 31:25)

“To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever.” (Rev. 1:6-7)

Therefore, the glorious freedom that comes through the love of Christ enables us to walk free from all condemnation.  A mom can rest in the knowledge that Jesus loved her long before she was ever a mom. In fact, she is so much more than a mom in His definition of her life, her worth, and her value to Him. Moms can approach the Father with complete freedom, and without any sense of condemnation (guilt and defeatism). Preoccupation with the penalty and power of sin destroys our confidence in God���s presence. Women can walk free of ungodly comparisons and cultural opinions as they rejoice in the power of His opinion and delight in their hearths and lives.

1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus��� (Rom. 8:1)

The revelation of grace breaks our sense of timidity before Satan or sin so that we live without guilt and expectation of persistent failure. We are not beggars, but joint-heirs with Jesus. Many believers live in perpetual defeat because they do not know who they are in Christ and the place they have before the Father. Our greatest need for is to know who we are in Christ, or how the Father sees us. If we do not understand this, we will not enjoy the benefits of freely receiving the righteousness of God. Woman can stand in boldness in the truth that God is our Father who loves us – not based on their performance as moms, employees, or wives. They do not have to stand on the basis of the success or failures of their children. As Christians, we stand as ones loved fiercely and loyally by our Father in heaven. Rather than fighting for relevance, meaning, and a sense of satisfaction in the “job” they are doing at home or at work, moms can rest in the joy of being fought for by the God that loves them deeply, and cares about their future and their success intimately.

The sense of unworthiness, condemnation, or preoccupation with the penalty and power of sin is a cause for many spiritual failures. It kills faith and spiritual initiative, leaving moms with a sense of rejection. It makes prayer miserable. It hinders our desire for God. Understanding of God���s righteousness causes us to have a confident spirit instead of living as a slave with sense of inferiority before the reign of sin. We can seek to remove condemnation by showing his sorrow for our sins, fasting, giving money, sacrificial service, or even public confession of our sins. We can seek to find it in an orderly home, in obedient, high-performing children, or even a great marriage. These small “victories” may bring short-term relief, but they never bring confidence to us before God.

The hope of a mother is not found in the seeming vindication that comes from good kids, a clean home, or an attentive husband and father. Her only hope is found in the liberation of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that her spirit is now experiencing glorious union with the Son of God by the power of the Holy Spirit – and that power and grace has now become her life and source of constant joy. Jesus has loved her well. He loves her powerfully today. He will love her forever, having nothing to do with her abilities, gifts, or diligence. Her value, worth, and dignity is rooted in the fact that Jesus loves her, and when that is enough, her heart can truly rest.

���U.S. Congregational Life Survey ��� Key Findings,��� 29 October 2003,

Five Lifestyle Practices to Build Great Friendships

In Ephesians 5, Paul presents critical truths that establish the foundations of a biblical, powerful marriage. When reading the passage, many skip ahead to Ephesians 5:22 and Paul’s assertion that wives are to submit to their husbands. Others read on to Ephesians 5:25, and Paul’s exhortation to husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His church. However, Paul’s teaching really begins in Ephesians 5:15. There, Paul charges those who are in Christ to walk carefully and walk in wisdom. “Care” and “wisdom” in Paul’s understanding are natural expressions of being loved well by Jesus, which in turn empowers us to love others well.

Therefore, the foundations of a healthy marriage begin with the foundations of a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships with those around us are a product of a healthy relationship with Christ. This is why Paul doesn’t begin his exhortation on marriage with “submit” or “serve”. He begins it with, “be filled with the Spirit.” The active, ongoing, dynamic life of the believer is found in a vibrant life filled with the Spirit. When a believer is born-again into newness of life, they receive the full measure of the Holy Spirit in their innermost being. We will never have “more” of the Holy Spirit than what we receive the moment we are born again in Christ. To be “filled with the Spirit”, then, is the believer’s reach in prayer to connect with and experience the glory of the Spirit in everyday life. We want our lives “saturated” with the activity of the Spirit on our heart and lives. This means walking with the Spirit by talking with the Spirit. A critical aspect of being “filled with the Spirit” is filling our day with prayers, short and long.

Great friendships that last are the product of the grace of God. His love for us – love that we experience as it transforms us – enables and empowers us to love others well. The ongoing power of the Holy Spirit in our lives keeps us tender and able to overcome hurt, offense, insecurity, fear, and more. We continually walk in real brokenness and weakness that injures relationships we care about. It is the grace and help of God that enables us to overcome our own brokenness and the brokenness of others to truly give and receive love in a healthy way. To love well, we need more of the power, presence, and person of Christ on our minds and alive in our hearts. Therefore, we seek a life filled with the Spirit.

“And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18) 

In emphasizing this first lifestyle practice, Paul compares “being filled with the Spirit” to being “drunk with wine”. Why? Beyond the power to relate and love well, the critical issue in relationships is who we are going to give others. Beneath the layers of fear, self-protection, and insecurity we can find our true self – who we really are. Drunkenness exposes who we really are, not who we think we are. The courage of “strong drink” is a means of overcoming fear and engaging in relationships with our defenses removed. The problem is, drunkenness exposes who we really are now, and much of who we are now is immature and very broken. Drunkenness has no regard for process or where we are going. It only exposes who we are.

To be filled with the Spirit is to allow the power of His glory to reveal a little glimpse into who we really are. When we see someone in Christ filled with the Spirit, we see a bit of who they ultimately are and who they will be in the age to come. Our lives, Paul said, are “hidden in Christ” (Col. 3:3). John the Apostle taught that our “true selves” in Christ will be fully revealed to all (including ourselves!) at His coming (1 Jn. 3:2). One of the glorious aspects of being filled with the Holy Spirit is that it empowers us with the ability to give others a chance to connect and be moved by who we really are in the best sense. What a glorious way to begin a true, deep friendship!

“Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.” (Ephesians 5:19a)

Another key to great friendships is a life filled with the word of God. Jesus said that, “out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45) Whatever we fill our hearts with will fill our conversations. How do we speak to one another? We must seek to fill the content of our conversations with the truths of the word. This requires more than Bible reading or Bible study. This requires an immersion into the word of God in a way that causes it to flow out of our hearts naturally. In the same way that being filled with the Spirit involves prayer, so too does being filled with the word of God. We must add praying the scriptures and, as Paul states here, singing the scriptures to reading and studying them. To read, study, pray, and sing the word is to naturally begin to talk about the word with others.

The more the word of God governs our heart, the more it will govern our conversations in a healthy way. The scriptural paradigms and ideas fuel our conversations, the healthier and more vibrant our relationships will be.

“Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:19b)

The word of God has to move our hearts. Is the Bible something we know, or is it something that we know and feel? Truth from the word of God should be experienced, which means that it must touch and reshape our emotions. What causes us to sing? Melodies get into our heads, but spontaneous singing is often a product of a moved heart. As we read in the word, we want to grow in tenderness as we grow in truth. We want to feel the truths about God’s love for us. We want to be moved to tears at times, moved to sing at other moments. As we are introduced to the word of God, the fire of it touches our cold, disconnected hearts. As our hearts become “warmed” by the flame of truth, we become tender and grow in love for God and for others.

When our hearts are made tender by the truth of how God loves us, we are quicker to forgive, to bless, to encourage, and to serve. Our relationships are transformed when we are filled with the word and the Spirit, and as a result are moved deeply to real love and devotion. A great measure of our spiritual vitality is our “singing life”. If love songs are flowing out of us naturally, it is likely the product of a heart awakened and changed by the love of Christ. Love from Christ touching our hearts naturally produces real love for others – the kind that easily overlooks frustrating weakness and inconvenient brokenness to “bear long” with our friends. A moved heart quickly becomes a fiercely loyal heart.

“Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:20)

The subject of thanksgiving and gratitude are worthy of their own books – and many have been written about the power of gratitude in our daily lives. As we are filled with the Spirit and the word, and moved by the truth, we grow into a daily orientation of gratitude that forms a “wall of protection” around our heart. We become more difficult to wound and offend. Why? We have shifted from a sense of “deserve” and entitlement to a sense of awe and wonder at the gift of a wholly undeserved life. We receive power from the love of Christ to escape the dreariness of self-absorption, which empowers us to see the beauty of the world and the people around us. We can relate to people without the burden of expectation or need that we accidentally place upon them. We are free to love and give.

An orientation of gratitude is absolutely critical to a healthy, vibrant life in God. As such, it is also central to truly healthy friendships that last for decades. We cannot view a friend on the basis of what they owe us, what we deserve in the relationship, or the needs they must meet. True and lasting friendships are ones fueled by our gratitude to the Lord for “the riches of His mercy” and “the riches of His grace”. He has loved us so well – far beyond what we deserve. He has blessed us so richly – far beyond what we ever could have earned. The fact of His underserved love and grace changes the terms of every relationship we enter. Any friendship and trust we are blessed with is a rich and undeserved blessing, not an unspoken rule dictating continued relationship. True humility, rest, and contentment – the pillars of relational stability – all flow from a heart filled with thanksgiving to God for “all things”.

“All things” means “all things”. Since we live in a new state of continual undeserved favor from God (related to His love and provision), we are knit to One who turns all things for good in our lives. Even trials, troubles, and testing can become, for the saint, an opportunity for love and faith to grow and for greater trust to be developed in the heart. The dynamic activity of the Holy Spirit in our lives means that anything and everything can turn towards grace, blessing, provision, and transformation. Negative circumstances no longer define our lives. We are no longer powerless. The very power and glory of God is our present and eternal portion regardless of any blows to the heart we suffer today.

“Submitting to one another in the fear of the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:21)

The last lifestyle practice is mutual submission. In other words, the first four lifestyle practices enable us to cultivate a culture of honor in our friendships. We honor one another when we have a clearer sense of who it is we are in relationship with. Who are we friends with? In the body of Christ, our friends are “more than conquerors” and “kings and priests“. We are friends with the great men and women of the earth, of whom “the world is not worthy“. We can only truly see this in the fear of the Lord. In other words, we see who people really are when we see them through the eyes of the Lord and not our own opinion.

We continually judge people according by their behavior and who they are in the moment. This is arrogance, and a severe deficiency of the fear of the Lord. God is clear: man looks at the outward appearance, but only God judges the heart. Therefore, when it comes to relationships between saints, we cannot relate to one another “according to the flesh”. We must relate to one another “according to the Spirit” (2 Cor. 5:16). This means that we are to exalt the Lord’s perspective and how He feels about others over our own opinions. We must walk with a measure of the spirit of prophecy as we relate to those around us. Who are they to God? Why did He die for them? How does He feel about them? These questions must drive our friendships and not behavior.

If behavior is the sole measure of honor and graciousness towards one another, then we will never willingly submit to the perspective and wisdom of another. We will rarely listen and learn from one another. We will always be on the defensive, expecting to be disappointed. We will be continually aware and annoyed by the weaknesses and immaturity of those around us. Eventually, we will withdraw and self-protect. The way forward is sacrificial love with a prophetic spirit. In other words, we press into friendship with a heart to honor and prefer one another. We walk in the spirit of Philippians 2. Jesus, who considered equality with God something to be grasped, came near to us and considered us “better than Himself”. He honored us when we deserved no honor at all.

In the same light, our invitation from Paul is to be filled with the Spirit, filled with the word, and moved by the word. As we grow in those areas, we become more tender, more thankful, and more honoring of those around us. In the process of maturity and growing in love, we cannot help but stumble into rich, deep, wonderful friendships with like-minded lovers of God that are seeking someone to pursue Jesus with. We end up with something better than a friend. We end up with true family, true brethren and comrades in the fight to love well.

How My Childhood Hero Became My Bride

Early Years

I was only 12 years old when we met, in 1985.  Tracey June Perry had just moved into my school district from the city and was now part of my Junior High honors classes.  Those were awkward years for me, as they are for almost everyone.  I spent my days trying to find myself and figure out who I was.  Thus, it was hard to notice the cute, smart, new girl who had jumped into my school.

I had just encountered Jesus over the summer.  I was a boy from a non-Christian family, but they let me go to a Christian summer camp for the first time with my best friend and next-door neighbor.  Though it was August 1985, I can remember those powerful moments with Jesus as if they were yesterday.  I remember kneeling in the middle of the sanctuary to get saved.  I remember the weight of my friend’s hands on my back as they all gathered around to pray for me.  I remember weeping uncontrollably for hours, as the conviction of sin and power of freedom seemed to take turns with my little heart.

When I walked through the doors of my Junior High School a few weeks later, my mind was alive with curiosity about God.  I wondered how I would act and relate with my friends.  I wondered how I would share my experiences with them.  I couldn’t find my footing, and so I kept quiet.  It was easier and more rewarding in the short-term to keep being the quick-witted class clown that many in the class had always known me to be.  Though I appeared to be outgoing, boisterous, and bold, I was nothing of the sort.  I had skipped a grade in elementary school, and it made me very self-conscious.  Also, I was really a quiet, book-loving introvert who preferred to stay inside alone with my imagination.

That’s why Tracey captured my attention that year.

It was the Junior High dance, which meant that the music was too loud for me to capture attention with my humor and there was no chance that I would actually dance.  Junior High boys do not dance.  It was 1985, so a few of my friends could break-dance.  So, at various times, we would circle around them and watch them spin on their heads and do the crazy leg shuffle arm plant thing.  Bored, I was dying a slow, introverted death.

The talent competition started, and that broke up the monotony.  My friends each performed different lip-synch dance routines that were various degrees of mediocre.  Then, the cool / pretty girls performed “I’ve Got a Crush on You” by the Jets.  It was the best one of the night so far.  I was mildly impressed.  They announced the very next act: it was Tracey and two of her friends.  The song they were doing? “I’ve Got a Crush on You”, by the Jets.  My heart sank for them.  Tracey was new to the school, and her two friends couldn’t hope to compete with the three most popular girls in school who had just nailed their performance mere minutes earlier.

I was right.  Her two friends were clearly feeling the awkwardness of the moment, and sank into a half-hearted shuffle snap that screamed, “I want to go home.”  My heart sank even further.  At first, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the two girls who seemed to be on the verge of a future counseling moment.  However, something surprising happened.

Tracey killed it.

She commanded the room.  She nailed every word.  She gave herself to her dance like she knew that she was better than the three girls from before.

I was in awe.  Also, I was in like with her.  As the song continued, things shifted from “like” to “crush” to “serious infatuation” to “awestruck wonder” to “I can’t believe how out my league this girl is now”.  She didn’t win, but she didn’t seem to care.  I know that I didn’t: she had no idea, but she won me over that night.

High School

The next four years found Tracey June Perry drifting in and out of my life as she moved in and out of my classes.  We both ran for student council our freshman year, and we both lost.  She found me in the hall and gave me the biggest hug of compassion.  As a now-thirteen-year-old boy, it was almost more than I could handle in the moment.  The amazing girl from the year before was hugging me! My heart raced as I tried to play it cool.  She had no idea what was happening in my heart and my head.  I had encountered the Lord again over the summer at camp, and again I felt like a failure in importing that encounter into my school and friendships.  Yet here was that bright-eyed, outgoing smart girl, and she seemed to like me.

I thought about that hug for weeks.

As the years passed, however, I grew out of my awkward phase and became much more confident.  I ran with the cool kids, the athletes, and the “good guys” that everyone liked and felt comfortable around.  Girls started really noticing me, and so I began dating different ones, enjoying the thrill of the reputation boost I received from each pretty girlfriend.  Life was working.  I forgot about Tracey.  We were in band together for a year.  She played the flute and I played the drums, but I was there because I had to be and was far too cool for it.  She picked that up immediately and rolled her eyes continually at my arrogance.  I didn’t care at all.

Then, my senior year, something amazing happened.

The Tracey from the Junior High dance made a stunning comeback, again.  Just as she had done years earlier, she played the role of the underdog.  She was nominated for Senior Homecoming Queen against the most beautiful, popular girls in our school.  She accepted.  My heart sank when I heard: why would she do that? I didn’t say a word to anyone about what I was thinking.  I respected her too much to get caught up into a conversation about her chances.  I watched things unfold, having no idea how the vote was going to go.  Incredibly, she won the popular vote.  It wasn’t even close.  The pretty / popular girls were shocked.  We all were.  We all were also ecstatic.  Deep down, none of us liked those girls.

I remember, vividly, sitting in the stands during homecoming, my heart swelling with admiration towards a girl who had captured my heart again.  They flew her in on a helicopter.  Her dad escorted her across the field.  I couldn’t have been happier for her, more proud of her.  I was in awe of this girl’s ability to rise to the top, to shine while being herself, uncompromisingly.  It’s what I longed for in my life.  She was my hero, and she didn’t even know it. My heart still swells with pride, more than two decades later.  She’s still my hero.

College

I had no idea that we would end up in the same university after high school.  I’m not sure that I knew at first that she was there.  I had a deep crush on a girl that I had met at the orientation, and so I scheduled a few classes to be with her and get to know her better.  Tracey June Perry happened to be in those classes as well.

Something amazing had taken place in my heart and life over the summer.  For five summers I had attended the same Christian youth camp.  For five summers I had encountered the Lord there, but was unable to fully express my growing love for Jesus in my school.  My parents didn’t attend church, of course, and there was no mentor or discipleship mechanism in my life.  I was trying my best to find my way on my own.  Now, I had matured, I could drive, and attend church on my own.  This time, when I encountered Jesus at camp, I had the necessary components in place to follow through on that encounter.  I could really live it out for the first time.

I loved it.  I would drive myself to school in the morning, and then drive to a nearby lake in the afternoon.  I would read my bible, pray, and cry as the Lord touched my heart.  I spent many, many hours alone in prayer during my first year of college.  I was alive in Christ for what felt like the first time.  I was serving in my church, both on the worship team and in the children’s ministry.  I was preaching, teaching, prophesying, and loving Jesus.  That was a fun year for me.

As all of this was unfolding, Tracey June Perry needed a ride home from college to be with her family, get some home-cooked meals, and do laundry.  She approached me in class and asked.  I had known for years that she was a Christian, and I eagerly said yes.  I didn’t have any romantic ideas  - I was interested in the other girl still – but I so respected this girl from our high school years that I jumped at the chance to really get to know her.  She climbed into my beat-up Mercury Lynx – the one that would stall when it stopped – and saw my bible and Frank Peretti’s This Present Darkness over my pile of textbooks.  She was intrigued.

We enjoyed the best conversation during our forty-five-minute drive to her house.  We talked about Jesus and kingdom life.  I talked her ear off about life in the Holy Spirit, not realizing that she was a Presbyterian girl who had very little context to relate to what I was saying.  I found out later that she didn’t mind.  She was completely shocked that Dave Sliker – the Dave Sliker that she had been secretly praying for (for years) – was a Christian.  A fiery, spirit-filled, crazy Charismatic Christian.  It was the start of a real, deep, beautiful friendship.

I went to the lake less to pray, and went to her dorm room between classes more.  I was enjoying – deeply – this newfound friendship.  In Tracey June Perry I had found something that no other friendship had ever given me: the opportunity and the freedom to talk about Jesus as much as I wanted to.  Still the introvert, I thrived with a friend with whom I could have long conversations about the deep things in my heart no one had ever cared to hear before.  The longings in my heart for Jesus, the life I longed to live with Him, and the hopes I had for more of His Spirit and power filled our conversations.

She became, over those four years, my best friend.

I didn’t know it at the time, but our “roles” had shifted.  She had been, in High School, my hero.  She represented to me what I wanted to be and what it looked like to succeed at being myself.  Now, in college, she was struggling a bit.  The overachieving, smart, successful High School Homecoming Queen was now struggling to find herself.  She was trying to decide who she really wanted to be and what that looked like while wrestling through real brokenness and pain.  Unbeknownst to me, that struggle was real, and difficult.  Also unbeknownst to me, I became her hero.  Now I was the one who represented what success at being you in a hostile environment looked like.  My fire and passion for Jesus was provoking to her.  It served her, helped her, and encouraged her in ways I didn’t know at the time.

I ended up leaving school to work, save, and attend Bible School.  The Lord had made it clear to me that ministry and missions was my future, and the university I loved no longer fit the plan for my destiny.  It was twenty minutes away from Tracey June Perry, however, and so we were able to stay close friends.  We dated other people.  Tracey dated a few good guys, nice guys, and one odd guy.  I always found it odd that she never referred to them as her boyfriends around me.  They were always, “her friends”.  I had one serious girl during college, and was headed towards marriage.  My dad, not a Christian, did not like this Christian girl at all.  He liked the other  Christian girl in my life, the cute, spunky girl with the sparkling personality, the ponytail and the killer smile.

Deep down in my heart, I did too.  Other Girl’s days were numbered.

The Talk

Over the years, Tracey June Perry had confided in me several times about how much she hated when guy friends would pull her aside to have, “The Talk”.  “The Talk” had ruined a number of her friendships, or at the very least introduced an unwelcome awkwardness into the relationship.  I had determined, after confession number eight, that I would never, ever have “The Talk” with Tracey June Perry.

We were discovering without the other knowing, however, that our hearts were growing into something more than friendship.  I had helped her out with a favor during her family vacation and she stopped by work to thank me.  She gave me the biggest, longest hug.  It seemed to go on forever.  In a moment, I was escorted to my freshman year of high school.  My Junior High hero was hugging me again.  I could hardly breathe.  This time, it was my best friend.  I didn’t know what to do, or what to think.  My mind was racing.  I really enjoyed that hug.  I thought about it for a long, long time.

On her end, I had made a commitment to come to a play she was performing in that I didn’t keep.  It hurt her deeply.  The pain in her heart was surprising to her.  She cared for me more than she realized.  I was her best friend, too, and my irresponsibly broke her heart.  Interestingly, it was the depth of her pain that awakened her to the realization that I may have been more than a friend to her.  Four years of deep, platonic, pure friendship was now blossoming into something surprising.

Both of us were circling around a conversation we weren’t sure that we wanted to have.  We both treasured our friendship so much.  She was preparing to graduate college and pursue a career in television and radio production.  I was finishing up my junior year of Bible School and was preparing to go to the mission field.  It seemed like we were headed for two very different lives.  It made the risk of having The Talk even greater.  What if we sacrificed an incredible friendship for a relationship that could never work? I agonized in secret, warring between pragmatic wisdom and the possibility of the missed opportunity of a lifetime.

Finally, I couldn’t bear it anymore.  I had to have The Talk.  I told her to come see me at my school at a certain time.  I purposefully planned the time to coincide with my pickup basketball dominance.  My friends had heard about this Mystery Girl for weeks as I deliberated talking or not talking to her about romance.  The suspense was killing them. The moment was bearing down on me.  Basketball provided a welcome distraction from the pressure and possibility of failure.  Plus, I got to look awesome to the girl I liked.

The gym was packed.  There wasn’t a seat empty in the place.  My team was destroying every team that played us.  I was on fire.  Everything was clicking, and I was enjoying one of the most satisfying nights of scoring and defense of my whole life.  Then she walked in.

It was as if everything stopped and the world turned to look.  She seemed to be standing in the center of the gym with a spotlight on her.  The Homecoming Queen, the Mystery Girl, the It Girl of the Hour had just walked into the gym, and all was right with the world.  My friends looked at her, and then looked at me, and the amount of white space in their eyes told me everything I needed to know.

She was beautiful.  The arguments and debates I had enjoyed with my friends in the weeks leading up to this moment – tell her how you feel, don’t tell her how you feel – all of them came to an abrupt end right there.  The look in their eyes said it all: tell her how you really feel, or we will kill you. 

I subbed myself out, confident, sweaty, and feeling athletic.  The gym still seemed unusually quiet.  I walked out proudly with the most beautiful girl on campus.

My confidence melted away, however, when we sat across from one another at the coffee shop.  I couldn’t find a single word that seemed to fit the occasion.  Fumbling stuttering replaced any swagger I walked in with.  Outside the window, my basketball friends were purposefully walking by, jumping comically to look into the window to see Mystery Girl again.  As I continued to fumble about, they walked loudly into the coffee shop, trying to look inconspicuous.  Mystery Girl was wryly entertained by their efforts.  They have no idea how much their goofiness helped dial me down and get me back into the game.

As their momentary distraction snapped me back into focus, The Talk was given brand-new life.  I took a breath, and the words began to flow.

I just want you to know…my family likes you so much.

She looked at me with the funniest polite half-smile.  The smile was very, very clear: I’m not going to make this easy for you.  She was not going to give me a thing.  I was going to have to earn this.

And, uh…my dad.  Wow. He thinks the world of you.  He talks about you all the time.  How cool you are, how fun and interesting you are.  I can’t believe how much my dad likes you.

It went on like this.  Me finding the courage to shift to the next gear, Tracey June Perry looking at me with that cruel, polite, half-smile, wondering if I would find my courage.  Finally, mercifully, she helped me out.

“How do you feel about me?” She asked politely.  That dazzling half-smile.  “What do you think about me?”

I was taken aback.  My heart skipped a beat.  The Talk.  I couldn’t avoid it any more.  Nine years of build-up and now I had arrived, unprepared, at the second biggest moment of my life.  No one had ever told me how to say what came next.  I had to risk, to dive in and see where the current would take me.  My adrenaline surged and the words began to spill out of me.

How do I feel? What do I think of you? Well, to be honest, I think you’re amazing.  I, uh, I have for a long time, actually.  I mean, you’ve always been incredible: bold, outgoing, fun.  That dance you did in Junior High, I mean, wow…I mean, you were the Homecoming Queen….and then, leading worship at your Intervarsity large group meetings, you would own that room.  I’ve always been so amazed by you.  

But what did it for me – what I’m really amazed by – is how you’ve loved the Lord.  You are one of the most sincere, deep Christians I have ever known.  Our friendship – the times we’ve talked about the word, cried together, prayed together – it’s meant so much to me.  I have cherished our friendship for so long…that’s why this is hard for me, you know? This is hard, because I respect you so much and am so glad to be your friend, that I would hate to ever lose this friendship.  

But I have to be honest.  I’ve really grown to like you over the past year.  I mean, my heart has changed, and I think that there’s something more going on here.  And I think that you know it too.  I mean, that big hug you gave me a few weeks ago, and the way you talk to me, and the way that you’ve talked about your boyfriends in the past – haven’t you always wondered if there’s something more for us? I’ve been wondering.  So I asked you to come tonight, to have The Talk that I’ve been dreading….

She laughed at this point.  “Dreading?” She asked, curiously.  The polite half-smile had melted into something warmer, more welcoming and inviting.  I knew that I was safe to process my heart with her, and that she wanted to hear what I had to say.  Both of us were excited, but more at ease, all at once.  I laughed at her question, and began to recount the several times her guy friends wanted to have The Talk.  I told her about my comical inner vow.  That opened the door for her to talk.  Suddenly, I was on the other side of it hearing how she felt about me.  I can’t write any of it down because I don’t remember a thing.  I was dizzy.  I was relieved.  I was in love.

It was one of the sweetest moments of my life.

Marriage

Three years later, after struggling through the practical dynamics of how our two destinies could become one (how could a television producer marry a poor missionary?) Tracey June Perry and I were married on June 6th, 1997.  The outgoing, bold, life of the room had become my bride.

Tracey Perry Sliker has been my bride now for seventeen years.  We’ve had four kids together, three of whom are now teenagers.  That story is a story for another day, and it’s one with as many surprises as this one.  Aren’t they all? Love and romance and marriage are gloriously messy things, the thrill of which can rarely be appreciated until later.  The joy of it all is the prize of this amazing, interesting, incredible person that you get to watch begin beautiful, then mature into someone even more incredible, even more interesting and amazing.  It seems impossible – how can your hero become an even greater, more awe-inspiring figure in your life when you really get to know them so thoroughly, so seemingly completely?

The amazing thing about love and grace and the power of the Holy Spirit is that the adventure of love begins and never seems to end.  Weakness and brokenness become occasions for inspiration to begin anew, and for old mysteries and joys to be reborn, re-contextualized and re-experienced.  The girl I fell into like with in 1985, who became my hero in 1990, and my friend in 1991 is now my most cherished friend.  She’s my cute bride.  She’s more fun, more alive, sharper, and more interesting than she was on that fateful night in March of 1994 when she walked into that gym.  She’s more amazing, more bright, and more in love with Jesus than she was on that incredible day on June 6th, 1997.

She’s the greatest gift the Lord has ever given me, and I will never be able to thank Him enough.

To Drink, or Not to Drink: Should Christians Consume Alcohol?

Alcohol serves an interesting, accidental purpose within the body of Christ.  For one group of believers, alcohol can serve as a litmus test for whether or not a Christian is “fiery” and “passionate” about Jesus.  For another group, it can also serve as a litmus test for whether or not a Christian is “legalistic” and “religious” in the way they live out their faith.  Personally, I do not drink – socially or privately.  There are a few reasons for this: alcohol abuse had a negative impact on my childhood.  As a leader in the body of Christ, I care about what I endorse and influence others to do or refrain from doing.  Finally, and most practically, I simply do not care for the taste of alcohol.

How should a Christian approach alcohol?

A Little History

Over the past two centuries, American Christians have enjoyed an interesting love / hate relationship with alcohol.  Alcohol abuse was rampant in frontier America.  By 1830 – the apex of drinking in the U.S., Americans were consuming, on average, 3.9 gallons of alcohol per year for every man, woman, and child.¹  15 years later, however, this figure dropped dramatically – to an average of 1 gallon per person, per year.  One possible contributing factor to this drastic decline in alcohol use and abuse may have been the Second Great Awakening.²  However, by the end of the 19th century, alcohol abuse and many of the negative societal factors that go with alcohol abuse had returned.  The Temperance Movement of the early 19th century had given way to the Prohibition Movement.

Prohibition, for all the controversy surrounding it, actually curbed alcohol consumption considerably in America.   It would be some time before alcohol consumption would approach pre-Prohibition era levels.  Currently, there are over 17 million alcoholics in America.  Tens of thousands of fatalities per year happen because of drunk driving.³  No other drug or addictive substance comes close to the negative impact alcohol makes in our nation daily.  It is because of the consistent negative impact of alcohol – with few positives to note – that has made alcohol and alcohol abuse an easy target for holiness preachers over the last few centuries.

A deep antipathy took hold within the social structure of the American church from its earliest days.  Normally, when generations carry a conviction against certain behaviors, the “what” carries on far longer than the “why”.  At some point, a new generation needs to reconnect with the “why” behind the “what” to abstain (or not abstain) according to honest, personal convictions.  Social norms and unspoken biases dissipate at some point, apart from fresh voices re-examining the issues at hand.

The Bible and Alcohol

In terms of alcohol use, the Bible does not explicitly condemn it. The exhortations of Paul address drunkenness and a lack of moderation / self-control, but there is no prohibition against drinking in the scriptures. Within the Proverbs, Solomon gives us practical wisdom related to the consequences of excess.  For many, the problems with alcohol connect with a lack of mature boundaries and a vision for moderation.  Therefore, the scriptures focus on these issues.  

Did Jesus drink wine? We know, of course, that He turned water into wine in John 2.  It is possible that He drank wine in Matthew 11. The early church used wine for the communion meal (1 Cor. 11). It is important to note that wine would be a safe and satisfying way to quench one’s thirst in the ancient world because of the relative scarcity of potable water.  (See: The Quest for Pure Water: The History of Water Purification from the Earliest Records to the Twentieth Century, authors M.N. Baker and Michael Taras) Wine was a common part of a culture in which fermentation processes allowed for safe consumption of a satisfying drink.

What is remarkable is that the scriptures focus on temperance or moderation in an era of history in which it may have been a bit more difficult to actually get drunk than in our day.  The ancient world consumed drinks with less alcohol than what is common today.  Distillation of alcohol, which makes for a stronger drink, did not become common until the Middle Ages.  Once distillation became common, “hard liquor” was introduced into society.  Rum and whiskey were cheap to produce, and therefore a common part of colonial life in America, for example.  Today, drinking alcoholic beverages is an exercise involving far different risks associated with larger percentages of alcohol in each drink. 

Should a Christian Drink?

There are three things, then, to keep in mind:

1. There are cultural dynamics involved with alcohol.

As we examined briefly, there is an aversion in America to alcohol because of what people have either experienced or seen regarding its abuses. Therefore, there are real emotions attached to drinking that one would not necessarily find in other cultures where drinking is not as frowned upon. Russia has similar aversions to alcohol because of abuse of it (and the consequences of abuse) within the culture. This is similar to traveling to Europe and talking about guns. For an American Christian, it’s probably normal to either own a gun, shoot a gun, or know someone who does. There aren’t many negative emotions attached to it by Christians here. However, in Europe, using guns is almost on par with abortion, immorality, theft, etc. They react to guns the same way that those from a Baptist background react to alcohol.

2. There are maturity issues involved with alcohol.

However, regardless of culture, I do not think that young adults should ever drink socially. Young people often fit the restrictions the scriptures do give on self-control and drunkenness. Few young adults have the restraint to drink responsibly, and therefore end up in sinful situations because of it. Restraint is a function of temperance and vision walked out over time in wisdom, and the short-sightedness of many young adults causes them to live for today’s pleasure and not a long-term view of tomorrow’s reward.

I have been in ministry for a several years. The number of times I have seen alcohol consumption lead to negative consequences far, far outnumbers the number of positive outcomes of drinking.  I have never personally experienced the negative consequences of drinking and driving.  However, I have seen many situations where immorality follows alcohol use.  This is, of course, a personal observation.  It is one that many other friends and colleagues have experienced as well.  The restraints that are removed by excessive drinking lead to behaviors and compromises that have devastated relationships, marriages, and families.  Beyond my personal observation, hard data is easy to find because of the increase of drunkenness on college campuses and the destructive consequences that often follow.  Young adults and alcohol rarely mix well.

There are internal restraints of the conscience that are often hard to honor even when we are of sound mind.  Excessive drinking can make it much more difficult to “stay within the boundaries” of biblical morality.  This is why Paul urged us in Ephesians 5:18 to “not be drunk with wine, but be filled with the Holy Spirit.” We want to do more than restrain from sin.  We want to continually access the power of God by His Spirit to live victoriously, and to love differently.  We want new desires and new passions.  We were made for more than restraining from old ones.  While drinking is not prohibited anywhere within the Bible, Paul is urging us in this passage to prioritize something far more important than our right to drink.

It is important to note that I would never suggest refraining from wine privately in family settings.  The governing structure of the family is hopefully healthy and more than able to urge temperance and restraint where necessary.  To put that more bluntly, it is very hard (in a healthy family) to get drunk and slip into compromise with one’s family.  Nonetheless, no leader or minister of the gospel has the right to draw boundaries that exceed biblical commands in a way that usurps the authority of the family unit.

It is also important to note again that drinking wine is not inherently sinful.  It is possible to be a fiery, committed, faithful Christian and drink wine.  The appeal that I am making is one of wisdom.  One can drink, but should we? If we drink, what do healthy boundaries look like, and how will we stay within them? We should not simply brush aside concerns that arise from the downside of excessive drinking, but should take them seriously and (forgive me) soberly.  In the same way, guns are not inherently sinful objects.  There is no biblical prohibition against them and nothing wrong with firing a few rounds at a shooting range, or hunting in the woods.  However, every hunter and shooter I know has great respect for the power of their weapon to bring much harm to themselves or others.  Therefore, they tread carefully and within agreed upon boundaries.

Knowing the potential dangers of alcohol abuse, we should attempt to do the same.

3. There are leadership issues involved with alcohol.

Because of these factors, leaders have to be sensitive to both culture and maturity related to the example that they set. Leaders have the liberty to drink, but Paul urged us to set aside our “right” to drink if that right causes those who are new and immature in the faith to stumble. Some stumble because of cultural reasons, others for maturity reasons, but either way, leaders need to be sensitive to that in love.   Leaders that exercise their liberty to prove a point are, in my opinion, acting irresponsibly.  They are also acting mildly arrogantly.  There are ways for leaders to drink responsibly and with sensitivity.  I choose to abstain, but that choice is not for everyone.  I am not proposing a restriction on drinking.  I am proposing a bias towards the higher law of love that wants to fight for all that those who follow us can lay hold of by the grace of God.  

I’ve never regretted my decision to abstain from drinking.  My decision to abstain does not make me more holy, more “radical”, or even place me to receive “more of God” than those who do not.  However, I do believe that it has positioned me to love well without apology.  It has positioned me as a father and a husband to be about something more than my own personal pleasure and recreation.  It has positioned me as a leader to serve a generation to reach with me for something that is ultimately far more satisfying.  It’s not a sacrifice to me, and I do not feel as if I am missing out.

Conclusion

In all my years of ministry, there is no subject that has elicited greater emotion or sharper responses than this one.  It is not my desire, in writing this, to provoke strong reactions.  I simply had the desire to serve a growing need today for biblical instruction on this subject.  There is a growing chorus of voices giving a strong apologetic for drinking and our right to.  I wanted to offer another perspective, or an apologetic for abstinence and our liberty to pursue something far more worthy of our time.

¹Rorabaugh, W. J. The Alcoholic Republic: An American Tradition. New York: Oxford University Press, 1979.

²Hamson, Darryl. The Rise and Fall of Alcohol Consumption in Early America.

³Caldwell, John. To Drink or Not to Drink. Christian Standard, August, 2012.

 

Are You Really, “A Martha”?

Cover image: “Christ in the House of Mary and Martha”, by Johannes Vermeer.

I’ve heard, over the years, Christians (mostly moms) wonder aloud if they are, a “Martha”.  They rarely wonder if they were like Martha, who has, for many, ceased to become a real Jewish woman who lived in Bethany a few thousand years ago.  Martha has become an idea, or a “spirit” that people use as a means of self-identification (i.e., “the attitude or intentions with which someone undertakes or regards something.“¹).  Martha is someone we should definitely not be happy to find our name attached to – as in, “You’re being such a Martha!”

As women (rarely men) wonder if they are truly being “a Martha”, it is usually during a time in which making the schedule work trying to juggling a devotional life, family life, and a professional life.  A woman who is doing too much often feels like a failure at all that she is attempting to put her hands to.  The most intense and personal of all of those kinds of failures is the failure to prioritize time in prayer and the word.  While the others areas may spark feelings of frustration and helplessness, feelings of failure in this area usually invites a sense of real loss and regret.   Authentic, deep spirituality and a sincere desire to love Jesus well can form the deepest core values a sincere Christian can hold.  A betrayal of these core values, therefore, can feel like a betrayal of self as well as a profound disappointment to God.

Are You Really a “Martha”?

Before deciding that you are, in fact, a “Martha”, we should first look at what Martha actually did to receive her very mild corrective from Jesus.  The real story from Luke 10:38-42 is well-known: Jesus comes to town, and begins teaching in the house of Martha and Mary.  Mary, wanting to hear, presses past the “to-do” list that accompanies hosting such a famous guest; Martha becomes upset at having to serve alone.  Jesus gently corrects Martha, showing her that, in fact, Mary had chosen wisely.  Martha, however, was worried and troubled with many things, and therefore missed the “one thing” that was needed.

The “one thing”, of course, was prioritizing Jesus and His teaching and not elevating tasks that cause one to miss the beauty of the moment.  The beauty of the moment is the point of the story: the long-awaited Messiah, the Son of God, and the fulfillment of every Jewish hope and longing had come.  In fact, He was in Martha’s very home.  When the fulfillment of all prophetic scripture – the express image of the invisible God made flesh – walks into your living room, you may want to drop everything and hear what He has to say.  The best modern analogy that one could muster would be to imagine a historic revival breaking into the Bible study taking place in your living room.  Meanwhile, you are frustrated because your kitchen is a mess.  Friend, if this happens to you: leave the dishes, run to the living room.

Of course, someone and something far beyond historic revival had walked into Martha’s living room on that fateful day.  In modern language, one could note that she was in danger of missing the hour of her visitation.

Understanding the degree to which Martha was distracted hopefully puts our own distraction in right perspective.  There is, in other words, a great chasm between a day of too many diapers, too many meetings, too much exhaustion from the demands of life and God Incarnate having a Bible study in your den that you are too busy to attend.  In that sense, Mary is not that heroic or amazing (her finest hour would come later, just before Christ was crucified).  Rather, Martha was really that worried, really that troubled.

Are you?

True Grace for the Busy One

I want to affirm today that I doubt that you are that worried or troubled.  In fact, the pain of your heart that is telling you that you may be a “Martha” is actually indicating the opposite.  Rather than being so dull and disconnected that you have forgotten the possibilities of grace and the indwelling Holy Spirit, your heart aches for more of Jesus though your body is weary and your schedule is full.  It is because you are longing to press past the “to-do” list and sit at the feet of Jesus that you are wondering if you are like Martha.  Which makes you, ironically, very “un-Martha-like” as it relates to the account itself.

The very longing to set it all aside and embrace the “one thing that is needed” is the evidence of the grace of God on your life, today.  The desire to spend more time with Jesus in prayer, more time in His word, and more time enjoying your salvation indicates a heart that is experiencing a measure of the promised life and power that comes with being in Christ.  The secret, when those longings touch your heart to various degrees, is to simply stop for a minute and ask Him for help.  It may be help in simplifying your schedule.  It may be help in ordering your life better so that you can find more time to pray.  It may be help to follow through on the initial desires that are moving your heart to love Him more.

The longing to be like Mary and prioritize loving and hearing Jesus is the grace for spiritual hunger that no amount of money can buy, and no outward behavior can produce.  It is the evidence that Jesus loves you, is fighting for you, and is gently leading and moving you towards real changes that will both satisfy and increase your desires to know Him more.  There is a rest and a peace that can come to us in the busyness and demands of life, both at work and at home.  The rest and peace that comes is the joy that knowing that, as we are diligent in following through with our real responsibilities, Jesus is far more diligent in praying, serving, and empowering us to grow in love for Him.  We can take every opportunity throughout the day to connect with Him in small ways, thank Him for what He is doing, and ask Him to do more in our hearts and lives.

It really is that simple.

The next time, then, that you wonder if you are a Martha, ask the Lord to show you the areas of your heart where you are so worried and troubled that you are ignoring the grace of God in your life.  Ask Him to help you see where you are forgetting that you enjoy union with Christ.  Ask Him to remind you that an infinite fire that burns within you called the indwelling Spirit of God.  Ask Him to show you again what the endless possibilities of grace offer us in experiencing His love and loving Him back.  Finally, smile for just a moment and remember that He is the best in the universe at helping busy, distracted people remember that He is worthy.  Then, go back to missing Him and longing for more of Him in your life.

¹Oxford Pocket Dictionary of Current English.

The New Era of Faith: A Church in Transition, But to Where?

This is the third article of a three-part series called, “The New Era of Faith”.  Monday we posted, “A Brief History of Fundamentalism” in which we looked back at how we’ve arrived at our current trajectory.  Thursday we explored “The Greatest Generation (Gap)”, and discussed the current cultural forces that divide two generations of faith in very historically unique ways.  Today, we’ll end with, “A Church in Transition, But To Where?” and try to bring it all together and explore the future of faith in America. 

To talk about the future of the church, we have to talk about issues that are bigger than all of us.  We have to find a gospel that is bigger than our sensitivities, frustrations, hopes, and dreams.  Together, we must lay hold of a gospel that is sufficient to answer the most extreme conditions of human suffering and sin, loss and pain.  Western society has created a bubble of self-absorption, entitlement, and a warped sense of success and the importance of influence.  It has disconnected us from the broader world that Jesus came to save.  The conversations we have, the things we care about, the trivialities that so easily entangle our imagination, expose us as shockingly shallow in light of the rising storm igniting in regions across the earth.

The challenges that face nations and peoples are, seemingly, beyond our own government to adequately answer.  Every government seems insufficient in the light of the challenges of corruption, greed, violent religious fundamentalism, revolution and brutal suppression, and the overthrow of regimes.  I am not comparing this era to other eras of history.  I am simply wondering aloud: in our discarding of the old to embrace the new, in the midst of our arguments about which gospel to preach, and which expression of Christianity to embrace, will the church of America embrace a faith deep enough, robust enough, and powerful enough to answer the rising challenges of this present time of trouble?

I have tried to give a snapshot of where the American church has been, and where we are now.  In order to think about where we are going, it is necessary to bring the wider world into view.

An African Story

The photo that accompanies today’s article is one that I found here.  The photo brought back vivid memories.  I traveled a similar road during my time in the Democratic Republic of the Congo working to serve the pastors and leaders in the eastern part of that nation.  It took us almost twenty hours to travel fifty miles to remote villages populated by fervent believers experiencing incredible hardship.  On one side were one of many rebel groups that plague the region, this one involving disaffected and violent ex-Congolese.  They were burning and looting remote villages like this one all along the Rwandan and Ugandan borders.  Entrenched within the village were both a small U.N. peacekeeping force and the Congolese army.  The Congolese army could be as violent and depraved, if not more so, then the rebels they were fighting.  Underfunded, living in poor conditions, unsure of victory or death, the drunken, angry soldiers were given to their own brand of looting and pillaging the villages they were stationed in.

We waited for a while within the village before taking a look around.  Many of the villagers were taking their few possessions, climbing atop supply trucks, and fleeing.  The Congolese army had recently suffered humiliating losses at the hands of the rag-tag rebel group now based only a few kilometers away.  The soldiers, therefore, were even drunker and angrier than they had been earlier in the week.  For many, flight to the U.N. protected city of Goma seemed to be the most logical option.  None could have known that, in a few short days, safety would elude them there as well.  For the Congolese in this region, justice seemed to be for other peoples in other regions.  Mere survival was an incredible testimony for many of the Christians we met.

Once we determined that it was safe to walk around, we found our way to one of the main churches in the village.  There, at the top of a steep hill overlooking the valley, was a large but simple hut next to the church.  From out of the hut came continual, celebratory singing.  It was astonishing.  Amongst the East African nations, the Congolese were famous for being the most musical of the peoples in the sub-Saharan region.  I saw the truth of that report first hand.  Some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard was erupting out of a simple hut in some of the most difficult conditions I have ever seen.  A simple charge had captured their imagination: “Night and Day Prayer for Speedy Justice“.  This charge was new, and exciting to them.  Fervent, sincere Christians, the believers of this village had previously only known the downside of the “prosperity gospel”. “If you have live a righteous life then you will live a prosperous life” was the mantra they were given by well-meaning missionaries.  What were they to conclude, then, when life was not prosperous, but seemingly accursed?

Now, a new outlook had excited their holy imagination.  They had taken hold of the promise of justice found within the gospel of Luke that accompanied the practice of night and day prayer with worship.  They had heard about a different Jesus than the One that they imagined was angry with them and judging them for reasons that had been unclear at best.  They discovered a Jesus that loved them and even enjoyed them despite their weakness and brokenness.  They were enthralled with a Jesus that was displeased with the injustice and brutality that wicked men were visiting upon them.  They believed a very simple promise: night and day prayer that brings, at the appointed time, the in-breaking of justice according to His incomparable power.

They immediately responded to this new vision to contend for breakthrough through prayer and singing.  I was overwhelmed by what I saw, and what I heard.  This small, remote village had the musical resource and heart to pray and worship all day, and through the night.  It was amazing.  The various relief organizations had fled this village long ago.  The hope of victory, while bruised, remained undimmed and unquenched.  Because of the terror that was about to break out in Goma, we were forced to leave the village to escape the chaos that was about to engulf the region.  During our flight from the Congo into Rwanda, we ran into local and international workers from World Vision.  I had no idea that, during this little trip, I was catching a small glimpse of the future of the church in the process.

I saw very little evidence of World Vision’s presence in any of the villages we visited.  They were present, but for some time had been (as was every relief organization in the region) helpless in the face of impossible instability.  The villagers had received a failed prosperity gospel, and the NGO’s (non-government organizations) had taken over the primary role of providing hope for many that we met in the region.  In the face of unthinkable injustice, however, the NGO’s had been, perhaps, a bigger disappointment to the people than the false gospel.  The prosperity gospel brought the promise of wealth connected to behavior that the NGO’s seemed to represent with their seemingly unlimited resources and finance.  It is beyond the scope of this article to discuss the economic confusion these organizations represented to the poor of this region.  At this stage, however, it made little difference.  Only a few local stalwarts were able to touch the remote areas.  Like us, however, the few workers that remained were forced to flee to the safety of Rwanda as the city of Goma exploded into war and chaos.  The luxury hotels and million-dollar resort homes of the Rwandan city we found refuge in were occupied by World Vision workers.

My time in Goma had left me thinking about the complexity of the problems facing the villages of the region and how inadequate the NGO’s were in making even the slightest of improvements to their dilemma.  In Goma itself, the city had been disrupted by the wealthy NGO’s, who paid locals exorbitant amounts of money for menial tasks, often ten times what they would be paid for the same tasks normally.  The complex social dynamics that this economic inequity introduced were very troubling.  The church in the city, also connected to these economic unrealities, was sleepy and completely unprepared and disconnected from the storm of war and death that was about to break in.  I took it all in.  It was very sobering for me.

World Vision and the Wrong Conversation

Recently, World Vision announced and then changed their policy on same-sex marriage.  The firestorm of anger, disappointment, debating, and feelings of betrayal that followed were revealing.  The fault lines of our current expression of faith have rarely been more clear.  On one side, stood the “Old Evangelicals”, more than willing to invest their charitable giving elsewhere, to organizations that better reflected their values.  On the other side, stood the “New Progressives”, angry at the lack of compassion that seemed to characterize an expression of bigotry they were eager to denounce.  Both groups have a disdain for one another that is over a century old.

Both groups were conducting the wrong conversation.  In the rush to condemn someone, the central issue was about which values to embrace.  Do we, as a church, value doctrine and the kind of culture that honoring the word of God produces? Do we, as a church, value compassion and the kind of culture loving the stranger produces? Would we continually overreact – poorly – to non-Christians doing non-Christian things in a way that alienates the lost? Would we continue to excuse compromise and an erosion of core truths that waters down authentic, apostolic faith? Must we always self-protect when we sense an external threat to our beliefs?

These questions are healthy to ask about our present “family dynamics”.  However, I suspect that, as long as the focus is on the kind of expression of Christianity that we want, related to what best represents our convictions and desires, we will continue to be “stuck” in the rut of a hundred-year argument.  When we begin to think about Goma, and places around the earth like it, there is a chance that we can move forward incrementally as we hear one another and learn from one another and not react poorly to one another’s weaknesses.  The right conversation is not about what we need, in other words.  In the hardest and darkest places of the earth, what do the peoples there need most? How can the church best serve the peoples in dire need of hope, and effectively meet the seemingly insurmountable challenges ahead?

Growing Up Into the Head, Together

Bringing the gospel to some of the most extreme and difficult places on the earth – places where suffering, injustice, intolerance, and hatred of Christians are common – exposes what is lacking in our faith and where we need to grow as a church.  What is needed in these contexts gives us a glimpse of where the church needs to go.  This is not a comprehensive list.  It is, again, just a brief glimpse:

1.  An authentic gospel that answers an eternal need without ignoring the material need.  This may be the least controversial point, as both the Catholic and Protestant missions movements throughout church history have excelled in this area.  One area where the church has commended itself in the eyes of the scoffers and mockers is in its consistent, sacrificial love for the poor.  At times, some within the church have not excelled at prioritizing the gospel in serving the poor and the broken, but the overwhelming missions thrust of the past two centuries testifies that the most have.  However, what we have done in the past we must continue to grow in.

2.  A powerful gospel that is accompanied by the power of the Holy Spirit to open doors, open hearts, and open eyes.  Seemingly forgotten in the debates and arguments surrounding issues of faith is the role and necessity of the Holy Spirit in the everyday life of the church.  Young people often address our need for the Holy Spirit in a personal, experiential sense.  We need to discuss our need for the Holy Spirit in a ministerial and provisional sense as well.  The power of the Holy Spirit is a central feature of the preaching of the gospel and our resource for expressing an authentic Jesus-obsessed, devotional faith.  A robust prayer and devotional life, one dynamically connected to the Holy Spirit, must be a priority for every Christian. We want the power of the Holy Spirit to open doors for the gospel, open hearts to hear it, and heal the sick powerfully.

In the rush to leave behind the excesses and errors of their fathers in the faith, I fear that the next generation of Pentecostal believers may be in a hurry to leave the Holy Spirit behind as well.  Throughout the evangelical world, more and more believers across denominations are beginning to experience the beauty of life in the Spirit.  The New Progressives are asking some helpful questions and raising some pertinent challenges related to the Christian faith.  However, we seem to be too far apart to have a deep conversation about prophecy, power, deliverance, or revival at the moment.  This has to change if we are to meet the challenges of the hardest and darkest regions of the earth together.

3.  A unified faith that loves the same Jesus with a common lifestyle.  Our faith must flow out of the common experience of receiving the mercy and love of Jesus.  The final destination of the church, just before the return of Jesus, is a unified expression of faith, hope, and love.  How far can we go in this generation of faith? To find out, we need leadership that models humility, restraint, servant-heartnedness, and a heart overwhelmed with gratitude for the kindness and gentleness of Jesus in our lives.  The church is waiting for the kind of leadership that reflects the of the heart and life of Jesus, both in courage as well as lowliness and hiddenness.

The promise of unity in Ephesians 4:13 is the promise of something far deeper than agreement over doctrinal details.  The “unity of the faith” that Paul envisions is a love-fueled expression by friends of God that have experienced the depths of the love of Christ.  Out of a common experience of the love of Christ transforming our hearts, that same love transforms our lives – both how we live it and why.  The church – and the world – is longing for leaders that truly know Jesus intimately.  The church will move forward as it is led by those who have been loved well by Jesus and are therefore settled about the things that truly matter.  Right now, there are simply too many arguments that ultimately do not matter.  Jesus-obsessed leadership cannot help but fixate on the Man more than the seemingly pressing issues of the moment.

4.  A robust message of true justice.  While serving the material need of the poor, the oppressed, and the broken is critically important, the hope of the oppressed is found in the promise of the gospel.  The same Man that brings transformation to our internal brokenness is the Appointed Judge to bring justice to our external circumstances as well.  There is an appointed end to oppression, suffering, and injustice.  A more robust gospel is one that answers our need for reconciliation with Christ, spurs us to love and serve those who are estranged from Him, and gives the broken and the weary real hope with a clear vision of the culmination of God’s plans for humanity.  We do not want to substitute expressions of compassion and mercy deeds for true justice proclaimed through the message of the gospel.

To do so is to invite future disillusionment, disappointment, and, possibly, the enabling of a new system of injustice to replace the old.  This is what I saw firsthand in Africa.  Serving the material needs of the people is beautiful, and a huge blessing.  However, the message of the gospel in full, which brings with it the promise of justice for the oppressed, brings with it a hope that transcends material relief and sets affections on a day of vindication for the justified in Christ. When a steadfast hope empowered by grace burns on the heart, it is a very difficult fire for the circumstances of life to quench.

5.  A vision for revival and breakthrough.  While being perhaps the most controversial aspect of our glimpse into the future, this is also the simplest element of church life in the days to come.  Historically, only a few young intercessors has been necessary to start a fire that confronts everyone.  Disagreement throughout the body of Christ on the subject of revival and our need for it is, in other words, functionally irrelevant.  All it takes are a dozen young people in a haystack to start one, and suddenly the entire church is having a very different conversation on the matter.

A vision for revival is a vision for the external signs of the power of God that a region of unbelievers must respond to in one way or another.  There are seasons in which the Lord makes His case before a people group or region in a “face to face” way, and things are rarely the same after He does.  We pursue this because we are pursuing a sovereign move of His hand that is bigger than we are.  Such a move is bigger than our gifts, our strengths, our plans, our intellect.  It is beyond what man can do and a clear witness of that which only God can do.  He has done it before – many times.  According to Peter in Acts 3:19-21, He wants to do it again – and again – before His Son returns to the earth.

As we grow together in these areas, we must lovingly address and grow by grace out of our areas of compromise and immaturity.  In reaching for these things by grace that are burning on God’s heart, we can also bring necessary correction in a way that helps facilitate unity in the Spirit :

1.  The Old Evangelicals must address our similarities to the ancient Churches of Ephesus and Sardis.

As the remnants of 20th century fundamentalism continue to age, leadership must face the loveless manner in which we have pursued authentic truth and biblical faith.  A bold stand for our convictions is commendable, however, if we sound like a clanging cymbal to our brothers and sisters in the faith then we have gained very little.  Jesus commended the church of Ephesus for their reach for the authentic.  However, He called them to remember tenderness of heart, compassion and the patience of Christ Jesus  towards them in their weakness, and His incomparable mercy and grace in loving them when they were lost and broken.  We must learn to stand for truth according to our convictions in a way that still carries the fragrance of Christ arising from tender, humble hearts.  We can love our enemies and pray for them far more than we renounce them.

The evangelical and pentecostal church must also work to strengthen that which is real in regards to love and devotion to Jesus.  We must not be content with a name to protect, a reputation to uphold, and face to save.  We must fight to love well because it moves the heart of Jesus.  We must fight for hearts that are connected and growing in His love.  We must truly be alive on the inside, preoccupied with Jesus, and not so easily turned aside by empty debates and small “threats” to orthodoxy.  We have a name that we are alive, that we alone are loyal to the truth – and yet we are so easily distracted by the “storms” of controversy and threatened by the insignificant “attacks” on the fundamentals of the faith. We reveal, in our willingness to argue and self-protect, that we are not as alive on the inside as we imagine.

When a follower of Christ has a deficiency of love, they are often gripped and controlled by fear.  Too often, the evangelical church reacts from fear instead of responding with love and mercy for the broken.  We have been afraid, and it is sinful.  We have self-protected.  We must fight for the world and those whom Jesus died for, not against them.

2.  The New Progressives must address the story of the ancient Churches of Pergamum and Thyatira.

On the “other side” of the fight for what the church will become, there are many that are tired of the political arena, the moral outrage, and the unloving behavior of brothers and sisters in the evangelical church.  In their frustration with the protests, the political activism, and the irrational fears without compassion, the New Progressives must acknowledge that there is still much to learn from the wing of the church that troubles them deeply.  The churches of Revelation are a good place to begin.

In addressing the churches of Pergamum and Thyatira, we see expressions of Jesus’ leadership that can be uncomfortable for some within the Progressive wing of the church.  We see a Warrior-King who will not tolerate false doctrine – and will fight against those who do.  We see a Holy God who will not tolerate immorality – and will fight against those who do.  There is, within those pictures, a clear picture of an intolerant Jesus who looks very different than the partial picture at times presented to call the “other side” to greater compassion and social activism.  There is a fuller picture of the God-Man that must be acknowledged with trembling.  He is kind – kinder than we can imagine.  He is also fearful, intolerant of anything that harms those that He loves, and a Shepherd that will fight for His people and their destiny.

The New Progressives must also address the historic fruit of liberal ideas: arrogance, intellectualism, and prayerlessness.  When I speak of intellectualism, I am not condemning an intellectual.  I am condemning intellectual arrogance and a false sense of superiority.  I find it particularly loathsome when directed towards the “poor hicks” trapped in a more rural, simple expression of evangelicalism.  We would do well to remember that Jesus chose to live with the rural, lesser educated Jews of the northern region of Galilee.  He had much ire and sharp rebukes for the intellectually arrogant members of the Sanhedrin that opposed Him.  The poor and the simple of the earth – the childlike, the lowly, and the humble – have always been His dearest friends.

A companion to intellectual arrogance is the fruit of prayerlessness.  The more we are enamored with what we know and discover from others, the easier it is to slip into a quietly justified disconnect from the Spirit of God.  Our conversation with Jesus from the word dims.  Our intellect grows, but our heart shrivels.  Very few want to arrogantly look down on a fellow Christian they feel superior to.  However, the decline of the heart in compassion and humility is often so subtle as we grow in knowledge without discernment.  We want to grow in knowledge so that we can grow in love for Jesus and for others, not love for ourselves.  As John the Apostle exhorted, so simply, at the end of his life, I want my primary  area of expertise to be in “loving one another”.  We may not agree with one another, but we can love, honor, respect, and fight for one another all the same.  This fight happens best in the place of prayer.

Conclusions

We have spent time exploring where we have been, where we are, and where we can go together.  I am sure that I missed many important points.  My main concern in seeing the storyline unfold is the ease in which Protestant believers still feel liberty to distance themselves from those we disagree with.  I have noted a few times in this series that we do not know how to disagree.  I have noted that we live in the era of the dogmatic overreaction to one another’s weaknesses and errors.  Evangelicals take the truth seriously but do not always appear to take the broken, the weak, and those who disagree with them seriously.  Progressives take compassion and the lost seriously but do not always appear to take evangelical concerns regarding doctrine, lifestyle, and matters of holiness seriously.  Neither group listens well.  Neither group loves the other well.

Most importantly in this era, it seems as if the Christian young adults of America are siding more with the Progressive wing of the church over the Evangelical wing for the first time in over a century.  There are unforeseen consequences to this historic shift that must be honestly addressed.  I have addressed some issues, and trust that many more will be lovingly addressed by many others in the days to come.  Ultimately, both sides must acknowledge that the Church is bigger than all of us, is global in nature, and therefore the possession of Christ to lead and to shape.  We must not view our job and our influence as a means to  attempt to force others within the church to our point of view.  Our job is to love Jesus.  Our secondary job is to love them.  His job is to help us do both well.