Cardeno C.'s Blog, page 103
November 15, 2014
November catch-up
As usual, Saturday rolls around and I have no idea what I want to blog on Café Risque (note to self: be more organised). So the boring life of a writer once again is dragged out of the closet (not that closet, the other closet) and blogged about.
What am I doing?Editing. Ugh. My worstest everest job. But believe me, I need it.
I do not believe that editors actually edit much. What they do is take away words. Writers write words. Editors cross them out again.
I’m in the middle of “first edits” of my new manuscript called Shawn’s Law. My editor, with whom I have a love-hate relationship, claims the book is “another winner.” We’ll see. Because at the moment I hate it so much I believe I’m going to scrub my name from the cover of the book and allow it to be released without a name on it, because I just want to chuck it out the window.
However, I plough on. I remind myself of the stages of labour and childbirth, and the point at which the mother says, “Right – I’ve had enough. I’m going home now.” Is the point where she is in transition and the baby is imminent.
I’m in writer’s transition. (note to self: why do you do this?)
What am I writing?My WIP doesn’t have a name, and it doesn’t have an ending. That’s because I’ve written 4/5ths of the book and thenediting the-art-of-crossing-out-words happened. So I need to drag it out into the daylight – as soon as I do my editing! Stop procrastinating Renae!
Yes. It sounds simple. Finish the damnediting the-art-of-crossing-out-words and then you can write more.
(Flashbacks of mum saying, “Finish your brussel sprouts and you can have ice cream). (note to self: finish that frickin’ editing!)
But Davo from The Blinding Light has his own story. Davo can’t understand why Jake would want to settle down with Patrick and have a family. Davo swears he’s never going to be one of those gays who do makeup and clothes and girly things. Davo swears he’s never going to be with one of those gays either. Davo doesn’t know what has just hit him.
The next two books I have planned after this have already been started (it’s that procrastination thing). My plan at the beginning of November was to have two of them finished by the end of the year. I think I’ll have to dial that wish back. Severely. (note to self: you’re only human)
Nanowrimo (the aim of writing a book in the month of November) sounds wonderful, and I signed up to attempt 50,000 words this month, but I think it is going to have to be abandoned. We’re halfway through the month and nothing is happening with my story. Real Life andediting the-art-of-crossing-out-words.
What am I releasing?Oh, Lordy be! THE COUNTDOWN IS ON! Safe in His Arms is out on Black Friday – 28th of November. So those who have vowed to allow retail staff their holiday, you may kick back with my book. You can pre-order here, so you don’t even have to think about it. It will turn up all ready for your Black Friday reading.
For those who don’t live in the US – Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. **light bulb moment for many** Don’t worry. Someone had to point it out to me a couple of months back. I’ve spent my entire life thinking that Thanksgiving was simply the last day of November. Whoops…
Anyway (back on track Renae!) Safe is out in 13 days. The ARCs are being distributed. The reviewers are dissecting my baby and judging her worthy (or not) of reading. The blogs are being prepared. Renae is torn. One part of my wants to crawl into hiding, but another part is telling me that no – I’m on the promo trail. I have 13 days until release. Must. Not. Freak. Out.
(note to self: Must. Not. Freak. Out.)
What am I reading?Oh, that one is easy. Nic Starr’s latest release A Day at a Time. I’m really enjoying it. (note to self: Finish this!)
What am I buying?Top of my to-buy list is Meredith Shayne’s Cutting Out.
On a personal note, what am I looking forward to?Strangely enough, Christmas. I usually hate Christmas. It seems like a lot of preparing and a lot of stress for a single day – which then I have to clean up after. In the previous years, trying to fit in all the family commitments on the day has been a huge headache. I threatened to buy tickets to another part of the country and spend Christmas away from my painful family.
But then something happened. Last Christmas my children came down with gastro. Badly. I hoped it was a 24-hour bug, but in the end it went for four days – right through Christmas. For a 4yo to not even care what was in her Christmas stocking, it meant she was sick. I spent the evening before tiredly wrapping the last presents and making food for the following day. My kids had to be quickly replaced in the Nativity play (there was one less sheep that year, and one of the shepherds was promoted to Wise Man status).
The morning of Christmas (6am), I put the washing machine on and washed sheets, towels and flannels from the night previous. I disinfected buckets and cleaned surfaces in the house to hopefully stop myself getting it. Then I rang my in-laws and told them breakfast was off. I rang my mother and told her I wasn’t going to make Christmas that year. I rang my sister and told her I wouldn’t be at her house for lunch. I rang my other sister and told her to come and pick up the salads and the presents on her way past. Yes. Christmas was cancelled last year.
So, on reflection, I think I’m looking forward to it this year. After 23 months without it, I can finally see the fun in Christmas again. (note to self: start writing your Christmas card list).
What am I dreading?The end of school. The 18th of December is the final day. I think the kids go back on the 2nd of February. I’m really unsure how much writing I can squeeze in to my day if I’m finding things to occupy the children.
During the 6 weeks off school, we have two weeks of swimming lessons, a sleep over at Nanny & Poppy’s house, several playdates, and school uniform/supplies shopping. Will Renae make it?
(note to self: stock up on craft items to keep kids busy).
Will I be organised for next week’s blog?
Yes.
I think.
I hope.
Maybe.
(note to self: write it on your list of things to do).
How to contact Renae:Email: renaekaye@iinet.net.auWebsite: www.renaekaye.weebly.comFB: www.facebook.com/renae.kaye.9Twitter: @renaekkaye
What am I doing?Editing. Ugh. My worstest everest job. But believe me, I need it.
I do not believe that editors actually edit much. What they do is take away words. Writers write words. Editors cross them out again.
I’m in the middle of “first edits” of my new manuscript called Shawn’s Law. My editor, with whom I have a love-hate relationship, claims the book is “another winner.” We’ll see. Because at the moment I hate it so much I believe I’m going to scrub my name from the cover of the book and allow it to be released without a name on it, because I just want to chuck it out the window.
However, I plough on. I remind myself of the stages of labour and childbirth, and the point at which the mother says, “Right – I’ve had enough. I’m going home now.” Is the point where she is in transition and the baby is imminent.
I’m in writer’s transition. (note to self: why do you do this?)
What am I writing?My WIP doesn’t have a name, and it doesn’t have an ending. That’s because I’ve written 4/5ths of the book and then
Yes. It sounds simple. Finish the damn
(Flashbacks of mum saying, “Finish your brussel sprouts and you can have ice cream). (note to self: finish that frickin’ editing!)
But Davo from The Blinding Light has his own story. Davo can’t understand why Jake would want to settle down with Patrick and have a family. Davo swears he’s never going to be one of those gays who do makeup and clothes and girly things. Davo swears he’s never going to be with one of those gays either. Davo doesn’t know what has just hit him.
The next two books I have planned after this have already been started (it’s that procrastination thing). My plan at the beginning of November was to have two of them finished by the end of the year. I think I’ll have to dial that wish back. Severely. (note to self: you’re only human)
Nanowrimo (the aim of writing a book in the month of November) sounds wonderful, and I signed up to attempt 50,000 words this month, but I think it is going to have to be abandoned. We’re halfway through the month and nothing is happening with my story. Real Life and
What am I releasing?Oh, Lordy be! THE COUNTDOWN IS ON! Safe in His Arms is out on Black Friday – 28th of November. So those who have vowed to allow retail staff their holiday, you may kick back with my book. You can pre-order here, so you don’t even have to think about it. It will turn up all ready for your Black Friday reading.For those who don’t live in the US – Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. **light bulb moment for many** Don’t worry. Someone had to point it out to me a couple of months back. I’ve spent my entire life thinking that Thanksgiving was simply the last day of November. Whoops…
Anyway (back on track Renae!) Safe is out in 13 days. The ARCs are being distributed. The reviewers are dissecting my baby and judging her worthy (or not) of reading. The blogs are being prepared. Renae is torn. One part of my wants to crawl into hiding, but another part is telling me that no – I’m on the promo trail. I have 13 days until release. Must. Not. Freak. Out.
(note to self: Must. Not. Freak. Out.)
What am I reading?Oh, that one is easy. Nic Starr’s latest release A Day at a Time. I’m really enjoying it. (note to self: Finish this!)
What am I buying?Top of my to-buy list is Meredith Shayne’s Cutting Out.
On a personal note, what am I looking forward to?Strangely enough, Christmas. I usually hate Christmas. It seems like a lot of preparing and a lot of stress for a single day – which then I have to clean up after. In the previous years, trying to fit in all the family commitments on the day has been a huge headache. I threatened to buy tickets to another part of the country and spend Christmas away from my painful family.
But then something happened. Last Christmas my children came down with gastro. Badly. I hoped it was a 24-hour bug, but in the end it went for four days – right through Christmas. For a 4yo to not even care what was in her Christmas stocking, it meant she was sick. I spent the evening before tiredly wrapping the last presents and making food for the following day. My kids had to be quickly replaced in the Nativity play (there was one less sheep that year, and one of the shepherds was promoted to Wise Man status).
The morning of Christmas (6am), I put the washing machine on and washed sheets, towels and flannels from the night previous. I disinfected buckets and cleaned surfaces in the house to hopefully stop myself getting it. Then I rang my in-laws and told them breakfast was off. I rang my mother and told her I wasn’t going to make Christmas that year. I rang my sister and told her I wouldn’t be at her house for lunch. I rang my other sister and told her to come and pick up the salads and the presents on her way past. Yes. Christmas was cancelled last year.
So, on reflection, I think I’m looking forward to it this year. After 23 months without it, I can finally see the fun in Christmas again. (note to self: start writing your Christmas card list).
What am I dreading?The end of school. The 18th of December is the final day. I think the kids go back on the 2nd of February. I’m really unsure how much writing I can squeeze in to my day if I’m finding things to occupy the children.
During the 6 weeks off school, we have two weeks of swimming lessons, a sleep over at Nanny & Poppy’s house, several playdates, and school uniform/supplies shopping. Will Renae make it?
(note to self: stock up on craft items to keep kids busy).
Will I be organised for next week’s blog?
Yes.
I think.
I hope.
Maybe.
(note to self: write it on your list of things to do).
How to contact Renae:Email: renaekaye@iinet.net.auWebsite: www.renaekaye.weebly.comFB: www.facebook.com/renae.kaye.9Twitter: @renaekkaye
November 12, 2014
The Start of the Range
Happy Wednesday. This spot usually contains the feature Ask Andrew and it will again, so don't worry. But because I'm going to be on vacation for the next few weeks, Ask Andrew will take a small vacation as well and return in early December. For today I'm going to talk about my latest release, A Chaotic Range. This story is the seventh installment in the Range series.
The idea for Wally and the whole series came out of the final installment of the Ken Burns documentary on the National Parks. The last episode spoke about the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone and as I watched that on television, my mind began to churn things over. Soon the entire cast began to take shape and I was writing some of my favorite characters. I think Wally and Dakota will be with me long after the series ends.
[image error]
Most of the time ranchhand David rescues stray cattle, but this time he and his fellow cowboys Wally and Haven save a stranded motorist. David is surprised to find his former high school classmate nearly frozen in his car. After learning that Brian Applewright's boss fired him from his ranch for being gay, they invite him back to theirs to take a job.
David and Brian moved in different social circles at school, but working together brings them closer. However, David has a rocky history on the ranch. The foreman is his ex, and he only recently returned after a heartbreakingly unsuccessful attempt to find greener pastures. He can't risk his heart getting close to anyone.
But on a ranch, nature has a way of forcing an issue. When a snowstorm threatens, David and Brian head out to mend a fence and round up some stray cattle. David gets injured, and they must survive in the snow, cold, and wind. It might be the start of a relationship... or the end of their lives.
Reserve your advance copy: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5648
Excerpt:
“Shit!” Brian breathed and blinked a few times, taking stock to ensure he wasn’t hurt. The engine had cut out. He tried to start it again, but though the engine turned over, it just wouldn’t start. He was most likely too low on gas. Brian stared out the windshield for a few minutes in a daze and then became fully aware of himself once again. He unfastened his seat belt and opened his door. It didn’t budge, and he pushed harder, but the snow must have been packed around it because it barely moved at all. The wind, however, found the crack and began pushing its way inside. Brian yanked the door closed. He turned on the fan to force what heat he could get from the engine into the car and then turned it off. He left the hazard lights on, hoping someone might pass or see them if there was a break in the wind. Brian knew it wasn’t likely. He felt the heat slowly dissipate as he sat.After a few minutes, he figured he had nothing to lose. The car was getting colder and colder, so he shifted to the passenger seat and tried that door. It was worse and would only open an inch no matter how hard he pushed. Brian was stuck, he knew it, and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it. As it got colder, he decided to try his door again. By rocking it back and forth, Brian was able to get it open about six inches, but he’d robbed the last remaining heat from inside the car to do it. He continued working and managed to get the door to open just enough that he could get out.Brian stepped into snow that went up well past his knees. The car had plowed into a snowbank that had been built up from past efforts to plow the road, with light snow on top of heavy. The back wheels of the car were away from the road, with the body and front of the car resting on the mound. He wasn’t going anywhere, not without help, and all he could see in every direction was white. Nothing but white. He remembered briefly seeing what might have been buildings during the break in the wind, but he wasn’t sure if he’d passed them already or not. His best bet was to get back in the car, try to keep warm, and hope the wind and storm died down soon so someone would see him. So he got back in the car and pulled the door closed. As soon as the door clicked shut, he wished he’d tried to get to his things in the trunk. He reached for the release and it opened, so he got back out and struggled to make his way around to the back.He managed to open the trunk and somehow keep it open against the wind and snow as he grabbed his duffel and a small backpack. Then he tried to climb back into the car. He slung the backpack over a shoulder and used his free hand to pull himself along the car to the door. He grasped it and managed to leverage himself around the door. He pushed the bags through the opening and then squeezed inside, yanking the door closed with what sounded like a thud of finality. He wasn’t going out again until something changed.Brian’s hands ached and his ears and face felt as though they were frozen. He tried the engine again, and it blessedly turned over and started. “Thank God,” he whispered and placed his hands over the vents blasting heat into the space. They tingled along with his ears and face as his skin warmed.After five minutes he was warm and had stopped shivering. He’d reached for the keys to shut down the engine when it sputtered and then went silent. The only source of heat other than himself was gone. Brian listened to the wind as it howled and raged outside the car. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do. He pulled open his duffel bag and shrugged off his coat. He was wearing a sweatshirt, but he found another and pulled it over his head. Then he put his coat back on. The jeans he’d been wearing were wet because the snow he’d picked up outside had melted in the heat, so he shucked them off, along with his wet shoes, and threw them on the passenger-side floor. He had a pair of sweatpants somewhere, so he rummaged for them quickly because he was starting to shiver again in nothing but his underwear. He pulled on the sweats and then a pair of jeans. He had to get creative, but at least the weight he’d lost in the last few weeks made room inside the jeans for the sweats.Brian stripped off his socks, then found two fresh pairs and pulled those on. He smacked his forehead. He had left his boots in the trunk. He didn’t dare risk getting his last dry clothes wet now, and he couldn’t face another trip out of the car. He’d just have to work with what he had. He found a hat in the duffel and pulled it on, wishing he’d had it earlier. Then he rummaged for something to put on his hands. He couldn’t find anything and figured he could just shove his hands in his pockets. Then he climbed in the backseat and pulled out the few remaining clothes he had left. In the bottom of the duffel he found a bath towel. He wrapped that around his feet and curled up on the seat with the rest of his clothes like a makeshift patchwork quilt resting on top of him, his head resting where the seat and back passenger door met.Other than the wind and his own breathing, the world was silent. Brian lost track of time with only his thoughts to mark its passing. He’d screwed up shit in his life so bad. This was not how he’d pictured his lifee ending, waiting as cold slowly made its way through the clothing that surrounded him. He worked his hands out of the sleeves of his coat and hugged them to his body. It was a decent coat, but not nearly warm enough for this kind of weather.The car windows fogged and then formed ice crystals on the inside as the moisture from his breath began to freeze. He’d had such plans for his life. His parents didn’t know shit about anything, and he’d left to make his fortune. He was going to be famous in rodeo. That would show them. His hometown of Casper would throw him a parade when he came to town. Well, that hadn’t happened. He knew now it couldn’t have, no matter what, but he’d been a kid full of delusions of grandeur that the world had slowly pulled away from him. Nothing he planned seemed to happen. He wasn’t talented enough for rodeo, and all he really knew was ranch work, but that didn’t seem to be working out either.Brian closed his eyes and let the movie of his life play. There was nothing else to do, so he figured he might as well wallow in the screwed-up mess his life had become. He’d had his last ranch job near Cheyenne the longest of any of them. He’d really liked the place too. The owners had been good people and they’d treated him decently, even after they found out about the “liking broncs instead of fillies” thing. But the other hands had been a completely different matter. The news had spread like wildfire, and after that, nothing had gone right. The guys had made sure of that, and then, well, he’d had to leave—in the middle of a harsh winter when no ranch on earth was hiring anybody for anything. His only chance was to find a job somewhere and hope that spring would bring something better. Look at him: thirty-two years old, out of work, crouched in the back of his car to try to stay alive, not really sure he cared if someone rescued him. Maybe it was like his old man had said—he’d have been better off if he’d just curled up somewhere and died. Maybe his father had been prophetic. He certainly had crawled here, and unless someone came along, it looked like he would very well die here.
The idea for Wally and the whole series came out of the final installment of the Ken Burns documentary on the National Parks. The last episode spoke about the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone and as I watched that on television, my mind began to churn things over. Soon the entire cast began to take shape and I was writing some of my favorite characters. I think Wally and Dakota will be with me long after the series ends.
[image error]
Most of the time ranchhand David rescues stray cattle, but this time he and his fellow cowboys Wally and Haven save a stranded motorist. David is surprised to find his former high school classmate nearly frozen in his car. After learning that Brian Applewright's boss fired him from his ranch for being gay, they invite him back to theirs to take a job.
David and Brian moved in different social circles at school, but working together brings them closer. However, David has a rocky history on the ranch. The foreman is his ex, and he only recently returned after a heartbreakingly unsuccessful attempt to find greener pastures. He can't risk his heart getting close to anyone.
But on a ranch, nature has a way of forcing an issue. When a snowstorm threatens, David and Brian head out to mend a fence and round up some stray cattle. David gets injured, and they must survive in the snow, cold, and wind. It might be the start of a relationship... or the end of their lives.
Reserve your advance copy: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5648
Excerpt:
“Shit!” Brian breathed and blinked a few times, taking stock to ensure he wasn’t hurt. The engine had cut out. He tried to start it again, but though the engine turned over, it just wouldn’t start. He was most likely too low on gas. Brian stared out the windshield for a few minutes in a daze and then became fully aware of himself once again. He unfastened his seat belt and opened his door. It didn’t budge, and he pushed harder, but the snow must have been packed around it because it barely moved at all. The wind, however, found the crack and began pushing its way inside. Brian yanked the door closed. He turned on the fan to force what heat he could get from the engine into the car and then turned it off. He left the hazard lights on, hoping someone might pass or see them if there was a break in the wind. Brian knew it wasn’t likely. He felt the heat slowly dissipate as he sat.After a few minutes, he figured he had nothing to lose. The car was getting colder and colder, so he shifted to the passenger seat and tried that door. It was worse and would only open an inch no matter how hard he pushed. Brian was stuck, he knew it, and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it. As it got colder, he decided to try his door again. By rocking it back and forth, Brian was able to get it open about six inches, but he’d robbed the last remaining heat from inside the car to do it. He continued working and managed to get the door to open just enough that he could get out.Brian stepped into snow that went up well past his knees. The car had plowed into a snowbank that had been built up from past efforts to plow the road, with light snow on top of heavy. The back wheels of the car were away from the road, with the body and front of the car resting on the mound. He wasn’t going anywhere, not without help, and all he could see in every direction was white. Nothing but white. He remembered briefly seeing what might have been buildings during the break in the wind, but he wasn’t sure if he’d passed them already or not. His best bet was to get back in the car, try to keep warm, and hope the wind and storm died down soon so someone would see him. So he got back in the car and pulled the door closed. As soon as the door clicked shut, he wished he’d tried to get to his things in the trunk. He reached for the release and it opened, so he got back out and struggled to make his way around to the back.He managed to open the trunk and somehow keep it open against the wind and snow as he grabbed his duffel and a small backpack. Then he tried to climb back into the car. He slung the backpack over a shoulder and used his free hand to pull himself along the car to the door. He grasped it and managed to leverage himself around the door. He pushed the bags through the opening and then squeezed inside, yanking the door closed with what sounded like a thud of finality. He wasn’t going out again until something changed.Brian’s hands ached and his ears and face felt as though they were frozen. He tried the engine again, and it blessedly turned over and started. “Thank God,” he whispered and placed his hands over the vents blasting heat into the space. They tingled along with his ears and face as his skin warmed.After five minutes he was warm and had stopped shivering. He’d reached for the keys to shut down the engine when it sputtered and then went silent. The only source of heat other than himself was gone. Brian listened to the wind as it howled and raged outside the car. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do. He pulled open his duffel bag and shrugged off his coat. He was wearing a sweatshirt, but he found another and pulled it over his head. Then he put his coat back on. The jeans he’d been wearing were wet because the snow he’d picked up outside had melted in the heat, so he shucked them off, along with his wet shoes, and threw them on the passenger-side floor. He had a pair of sweatpants somewhere, so he rummaged for them quickly because he was starting to shiver again in nothing but his underwear. He pulled on the sweats and then a pair of jeans. He had to get creative, but at least the weight he’d lost in the last few weeks made room inside the jeans for the sweats.Brian stripped off his socks, then found two fresh pairs and pulled those on. He smacked his forehead. He had left his boots in the trunk. He didn’t dare risk getting his last dry clothes wet now, and he couldn’t face another trip out of the car. He’d just have to work with what he had. He found a hat in the duffel and pulled it on, wishing he’d had it earlier. Then he rummaged for something to put on his hands. He couldn’t find anything and figured he could just shove his hands in his pockets. Then he climbed in the backseat and pulled out the few remaining clothes he had left. In the bottom of the duffel he found a bath towel. He wrapped that around his feet and curled up on the seat with the rest of his clothes like a makeshift patchwork quilt resting on top of him, his head resting where the seat and back passenger door met.Other than the wind and his own breathing, the world was silent. Brian lost track of time with only his thoughts to mark its passing. He’d screwed up shit in his life so bad. This was not how he’d pictured his lifee ending, waiting as cold slowly made its way through the clothing that surrounded him. He worked his hands out of the sleeves of his coat and hugged them to his body. It was a decent coat, but not nearly warm enough for this kind of weather.The car windows fogged and then formed ice crystals on the inside as the moisture from his breath began to freeze. He’d had such plans for his life. His parents didn’t know shit about anything, and he’d left to make his fortune. He was going to be famous in rodeo. That would show them. His hometown of Casper would throw him a parade when he came to town. Well, that hadn’t happened. He knew now it couldn’t have, no matter what, but he’d been a kid full of delusions of grandeur that the world had slowly pulled away from him. Nothing he planned seemed to happen. He wasn’t talented enough for rodeo, and all he really knew was ranch work, but that didn’t seem to be working out either.Brian closed his eyes and let the movie of his life play. There was nothing else to do, so he figured he might as well wallow in the screwed-up mess his life had become. He’d had his last ranch job near Cheyenne the longest of any of them. He’d really liked the place too. The owners had been good people and they’d treated him decently, even after they found out about the “liking broncs instead of fillies” thing. But the other hands had been a completely different matter. The news had spread like wildfire, and after that, nothing had gone right. The guys had made sure of that, and then, well, he’d had to leave—in the middle of a harsh winter when no ranch on earth was hiring anybody for anything. His only chance was to find a job somewhere and hope that spring would bring something better. Look at him: thirty-two years old, out of work, crouched in the back of his car to try to stay alive, not really sure he cared if someone rescued him. Maybe it was like his old man had said—he’d have been better off if he’d just curled up somewhere and died. Maybe his father had been prophetic. He certainly had crawled here, and unless someone came along, it looked like he would very well die here.
November 11, 2014
Monkey Butt Bellybuttons
<julia> Hey y'all!
<julia> One more week and we have a sean yeah!
<BA> Woowoo!
<julia> or rather
<julia> Sean, yeah?
<sean> wooohooo
<BA> *grins*
<BA> I can't wait!
<sean> me neither
<BA> do you have a list of food you want?
<sean> all the food
<sean> ;)
<BA> heeeee
<BA> Julia's brother just left today. He was on his best behavior :D
<sean> LOL
<julia> he was
<julia> it was a good visit
<BA> nods
<sean> excellent
<BA> we put the fire table together
<sean> there's a revolving door chez blinky squinson, eh?
<BA> LOL
<BA> nods
<BA> you know it
<julia> lord yes
<sean> I imagine there will be turkey
<BA> so, we played Cards Against Humanity with them
<sean> Cards Against Humanity?
<BA> there is nothing more funny than making your brother in law say "Pac-Man guzzling cum"
<sean> LOL
<BA> or "two midgets shitting in a bucket"
<BA> oh, I'm TOTALLY introducing you to this game, honey
<sean> yes, it sounds like you must
<BA> you will lose your shit
<julia> LOL
<julia> OMG it's hilarious
<julia> and my bro and his wife valiantly plowed through
<BA> nods
<BA> it was amazing
<sean> grins
<julia> we will be way dirtier I imagine
<BA> they're a wee bit buttoned up
<sean> us?
<sean> dirty?
<sean> never
<BA> filthy?
<BA> ribald?
<BA> perverse?
<sean> innocent as the driven snow, I tell you
<julia> yellow snow you mean?
<sean> I was just polishing my uh... halo this morning
<BA> ew...
<BA> it's supposed to snow here this weekend
<BA> O.O
<julia> nope
<julia> I reject that reality
<sean> oh it should wait 'til I come!
<sean> we had snow last weekend
<sean> it didn't stick at all
<sean> but it was snow while it was coming down
<BA> *grins*
<sean> I might have done my version of the happy dance
<BA> Last year, the snow waited for you
<sean> it did!
<julia> but this year
<BA> I think we should take the train to Santa Fe while you're here
<julia> no big dump of leaves to clean up
<sean> I second that motion BA
<julia> that tree stayed at the rental house
<BA> LOL
<BA> I want to sit outside in the snow with the firepit on and toast snowy marshmallows
<julia> oooh
<julia> I like it
<sean> that sounds perfect
<BA> nods
<BA> how many years have you come for thanksgiving, honey?
<BA> six?
<BA> seven?
<sean> not that many I don't think
<sean> five?
<sean> two at round rock, one in georgetown and this'll be two in NM
<sean> right?
<BA> there may have been three in round rock...
<BA> not in a row, though
<sean> no
<BA> you came the year my stepmom died
<BA> not the next
<BA> the year after J and I went to Daddy's
<BA> now we're up to 2008...
<julia> math
<julia> bah
<BA> turkey
<sean> lol
<BA> (pun intended)
<BA> So I did one of those, I'm getting older things today
<BA> I bought gray hair brightening shampoo
<BA> O.O
<sean> to make your grey hair stand out?
<julia> heeee
<BA> nods
<julia> and to soften it
<BA> well, it sort of does that
<sean> ah
<julia> she got sparkly gray conditioner
<BA> but it's a pretty silver
<julia> :D
<sean> cool
<BA> and I want it to be silverier
<BA> it just happened
<BA> I swear
<BA> last year I wasn't gray
<BA> then I get married?
<BA> and BOOM
<BA> ;-)
<sean> cackles
<BA> (waits for Julia to respond)
<julia> I have no gray
<julia> just sayin;
<BA> that's because I ROCK as a wife
<BA> :D
<sean> heeeee
<julia> yep
<julia> and I am sooooooooo trying
<BA> LOLOL
<julia> heee
<julia> I can be a bit stressed sometimes it's true
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> you are my girl
<BA> so, let's tell a story.
<BA> I'll start:
<sean> you guys are like the yin yang symbol
<sean> you fit together perfectly
<julia> yup
<julia> okay
<julia> story
<julia> :
<BA> Once upon a time there was a man with a bellybutton that looked like a monkey's backside.
* sean looks at BA
<julia> No one wanted to have sex with him unless he was on all fours.
<sean> except for gay monkeys
<BA> (what? We were at the zoo yesterday)
<BA> All the gay monkeys stared and drooled whenever he jogged by the monkey house shirtless and hooted lustfully from their enclosure.
<sean> lol
<julia> They did not fling things at him.
<BA> One day, one of the little dudes that worked at the zoo that was not a zookeeper, because those are rare, saw the monkey-naveled guy and sprung wood like whoa.
<sean> lol
<julia> He went, oh, I love monkey butts but that's weird
<julia> . So this is my perfect man.
<BA> Also, he had a secret.
<BA> He had a mole that looked just like Tony the Tiger.
<julia> Good thing monkey butt man loves Frosted Flakes.
<julia> <did I just change verb tenses?>
<BA> (you should hear Julia. She's sitting here, wiggling her eyebrows and going MONKEY BUTT MAN in her Serial Killer voice)
<sean> you're writing about monkey butt loving man and the dude with a monkey butt belly button and you're worried about verb tenses?
<sean> and also LOL
<sean> you are going to have the strangest dreams tonight BA
<sean> and no, I am not writing this one and dedicating it to you
<BA> you know, one day we were rooming with Chris Owen and J and I spent an hour telling each other stories about a time travelling butt plug
<BA> and I thought she was going to explode
<sean> *cackles*
<BA> she hadn't experienced Story Time with the Freaks yet
<BA> Oh, we went to Williams Sonoma yesterday
<BA> and they had a gluten free dressing
<BA> like stuffing dressing
<BA> not ranch or italian or bleu cheese type dressing
<sean> oh cool
<BA> hey
<BA> what's your favorite dressing?
<BA> balsalmic something, yeah?
<sean> balsamic
<BA> look at me, being all right
<BA> I bought cranberry pear balsamic
<BA> omg
<BA> the joy
<sean> oil, balsamic vinegar, a touch of lemon juice, italian seasoning, cracked pepper and salt
<sean> mmmm
<BA> nods
<BA> it's good
<julia> yum
<julia> I went away on monkey butts and came back to vinaigrette
<BA> things come and go so quickly here
<BA> did I tell you my daddy's having surgery next week?
<julia> ew
<julia> poor daddy
<BA> he's only had surgery once in my whole life. Hell, I think he's only had surgery twice in HIS whole life.
<BA> every time I think about it, I get all panicky
<julia> yikes
<julia> that's all i've had
<julia> tonsils
<julia> wisdom teeth
<BA> Daddy had his appendix out and he had to have his jaw wired shut
<BA> I've had surgery 4 times
<BA> but nothing for a long time
<BA> like 25 years
<julia> That's like a billion less than some of your family
<BA> heeeeeee
<BA> at least
<BA> The bassets are in my lap
<BA> I have a Sonny and a Sadie
<BA> *pokes Sean* Are you sleeping?
<julia> ow
<julia> oh wait
<julia> that was Sean
<julia> so, what are we baking first this year
<BA> hrm
<BA> chex mix
<BA> cranberry bread
<julia> oh good idea
<julia> I lov chex mix
<julia> thank goodness chex are gluten free now
<julia> except the wheat ones ;)
<BA> *cackles*
<BA> right
<sean> sorry sorry
<sean> it's late and I fell asleep
<sean> O.o
<BA> *grins*
<BA> Are you making commentary on my sparkling wit?
* BA hugs tight
<BA> go sleep, honey. It's LATE for you
<sean> nope, it's as sparkling as ever
<sean> it is
<BA> next week you'll be here tomorrow!
<sean> I know!
<sean> yay
<BA> :D
<BA> okay, y'all. Sleep well. Much love.
<sean> you too
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> night babe
<sean> goodnight
<julia> night y'all
If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that.
You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.
Sean’s website is http://www.seanmichaelwrites.comJulia’s is http://www.juliatalbot.comBA’s is http://www.batortuga.com
Facebook:Sean -- https://www.facebook.com/SeanMichaelW... -- https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbota... -- https://www.facebook.com/batortuga
Thanks for reading!Sean
<julia> One more week and we have a sean yeah!
<BA> Woowoo!
<julia> or rather
<julia> Sean, yeah?
<sean> wooohooo
<BA> *grins*
<BA> I can't wait!
<sean> me neither
<BA> do you have a list of food you want?
<sean> all the food
<sean> ;)
<BA> heeeee
<BA> Julia's brother just left today. He was on his best behavior :D
<sean> LOL
<julia> he was
<julia> it was a good visit
<BA> nods
<sean> excellent
<BA> we put the fire table together
<sean> there's a revolving door chez blinky squinson, eh?
<BA> LOL
<BA> nods
<BA> you know it
<julia> lord yes
<sean> I imagine there will be turkey
<BA> so, we played Cards Against Humanity with them
<sean> Cards Against Humanity?
<BA> there is nothing more funny than making your brother in law say "Pac-Man guzzling cum"
<sean> LOL
<BA> or "two midgets shitting in a bucket"
<BA> oh, I'm TOTALLY introducing you to this game, honey
<sean> yes, it sounds like you must
<BA> you will lose your shit
<julia> LOL
<julia> OMG it's hilarious
<julia> and my bro and his wife valiantly plowed through
<BA> nods
<BA> it was amazing
<sean> grins
<julia> we will be way dirtier I imagine
<BA> they're a wee bit buttoned up
<sean> us?
<sean> dirty?
<sean> never
<BA> filthy?
<BA> ribald?
<BA> perverse?
<sean> innocent as the driven snow, I tell you
<julia> yellow snow you mean?
<sean> I was just polishing my uh... halo this morning
<BA> ew...
<BA> it's supposed to snow here this weekend
<BA> O.O
<julia> nope
<julia> I reject that reality
<sean> oh it should wait 'til I come!
<sean> we had snow last weekend
<sean> it didn't stick at all
<sean> but it was snow while it was coming down
<BA> *grins*
<sean> I might have done my version of the happy dance
<BA> Last year, the snow waited for you
<sean> it did!
<julia> but this year
<BA> I think we should take the train to Santa Fe while you're here
<julia> no big dump of leaves to clean up
<sean> I second that motion BA
<julia> that tree stayed at the rental house
<BA> LOL
<BA> I want to sit outside in the snow with the firepit on and toast snowy marshmallows
<julia> oooh
<julia> I like it
<sean> that sounds perfect
<BA> nods
<BA> how many years have you come for thanksgiving, honey?
<BA> six?
<BA> seven?
<sean> not that many I don't think
<sean> five?
<sean> two at round rock, one in georgetown and this'll be two in NM
<sean> right?
<BA> there may have been three in round rock...
<BA> not in a row, though
<sean> no
<BA> you came the year my stepmom died
<BA> not the next
<BA> the year after J and I went to Daddy's
<BA> now we're up to 2008...
<julia> math
<julia> bah
<BA> turkey
<sean> lol
<BA> (pun intended)
<BA> So I did one of those, I'm getting older things today
<BA> I bought gray hair brightening shampoo
<BA> O.O
<sean> to make your grey hair stand out?
<julia> heeee
<BA> nods
<julia> and to soften it
<BA> well, it sort of does that
<sean> ah
<julia> she got sparkly gray conditioner
<BA> but it's a pretty silver
<julia> :D
<sean> cool
<BA> and I want it to be silverier
<BA> it just happened
<BA> I swear
<BA> last year I wasn't gray
<BA> then I get married?
<BA> and BOOM
<BA> ;-)
<sean> cackles
<BA> (waits for Julia to respond)
<julia> I have no gray
<julia> just sayin;
<BA> that's because I ROCK as a wife
<BA> :D
<sean> heeeee
<julia> yep
<julia> and I am sooooooooo trying
<BA> LOLOL
<julia> heee
<julia> I can be a bit stressed sometimes it's true
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> you are my girl
<BA> so, let's tell a story.
<BA> I'll start:
<sean> you guys are like the yin yang symbol
<sean> you fit together perfectly
<julia> yup
<julia> okay
<julia> story
<julia> :
<BA> Once upon a time there was a man with a bellybutton that looked like a monkey's backside.
* sean looks at BA
<julia> No one wanted to have sex with him unless he was on all fours.
<sean> except for gay monkeys
<BA> (what? We were at the zoo yesterday)
<BA> All the gay monkeys stared and drooled whenever he jogged by the monkey house shirtless and hooted lustfully from their enclosure.
<sean> lol
<julia> They did not fling things at him.
<BA> One day, one of the little dudes that worked at the zoo that was not a zookeeper, because those are rare, saw the monkey-naveled guy and sprung wood like whoa.
<sean> lol
<julia> He went, oh, I love monkey butts but that's weird
<julia> . So this is my perfect man.
<BA> Also, he had a secret.
<BA> He had a mole that looked just like Tony the Tiger.
<julia> Good thing monkey butt man loves Frosted Flakes.
<julia> <did I just change verb tenses?>
<BA> (you should hear Julia. She's sitting here, wiggling her eyebrows and going MONKEY BUTT MAN in her Serial Killer voice)
<sean> you're writing about monkey butt loving man and the dude with a monkey butt belly button and you're worried about verb tenses?
<sean> and also LOL
<sean> you are going to have the strangest dreams tonight BA
<sean> and no, I am not writing this one and dedicating it to you
<BA> you know, one day we were rooming with Chris Owen and J and I spent an hour telling each other stories about a time travelling butt plug
<BA> and I thought she was going to explode
<sean> *cackles*
<BA> she hadn't experienced Story Time with the Freaks yet
<BA> Oh, we went to Williams Sonoma yesterday
<BA> and they had a gluten free dressing
<BA> like stuffing dressing
<BA> not ranch or italian or bleu cheese type dressing
<sean> oh cool
<BA> hey
<BA> what's your favorite dressing?
<BA> balsalmic something, yeah?
<sean> balsamic
<BA> look at me, being all right
<BA> I bought cranberry pear balsamic
<BA> omg
<BA> the joy
<sean> oil, balsamic vinegar, a touch of lemon juice, italian seasoning, cracked pepper and salt
<sean> mmmm
<BA> nods
<BA> it's good
<julia> yum
<julia> I went away on monkey butts and came back to vinaigrette
<BA> things come and go so quickly here
<BA> did I tell you my daddy's having surgery next week?
<julia> ew
<julia> poor daddy
<BA> he's only had surgery once in my whole life. Hell, I think he's only had surgery twice in HIS whole life.
<BA> every time I think about it, I get all panicky
<julia> yikes
<julia> that's all i've had
<julia> tonsils
<julia> wisdom teeth
<BA> Daddy had his appendix out and he had to have his jaw wired shut
<BA> I've had surgery 4 times
<BA> but nothing for a long time
<BA> like 25 years
<julia> That's like a billion less than some of your family
<BA> heeeeeee
<BA> at least
<BA> The bassets are in my lap
<BA> I have a Sonny and a Sadie
<BA> *pokes Sean* Are you sleeping?
<julia> ow
<julia> oh wait
<julia> that was Sean
<julia> so, what are we baking first this year
<BA> hrm
<BA> chex mix
<BA> cranberry bread
<julia> oh good idea
<julia> I lov chex mix
<julia> thank goodness chex are gluten free now
<julia> except the wheat ones ;)
<BA> *cackles*
<BA> right
<sean> sorry sorry
<sean> it's late and I fell asleep
<sean> O.o
<BA> *grins*
<BA> Are you making commentary on my sparkling wit?
* BA hugs tight
<BA> go sleep, honey. It's LATE for you
<sean> nope, it's as sparkling as ever
<sean> it is
<BA> next week you'll be here tomorrow!
<sean> I know!
<sean> yay
<BA> :D
<BA> okay, y'all. Sleep well. Much love.
<sean> you too
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> night babe
<sean> goodnight
<julia> night y'all
If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that.
You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.
Sean’s website is http://www.seanmichaelwrites.comJulia’s is http://www.juliatalbot.comBA’s is http://www.batortuga.com
Facebook:Sean -- https://www.facebook.com/SeanMichaelW... -- https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbota... -- https://www.facebook.com/batortuga
Thanks for reading!Sean
November 10, 2014
Thank You Veterans by Cardeno C.
My blog day is Monday so I'm a day early, but I want to share my thanks for the many heroes who do the hard work of defending all of us and the many families who sacrifice as a result. With immense gratitude, happy Veteran's Day.
November 8, 2014
Crikey, is Renae too Australian?
Psst! Renae?
Shh!
Psst – Renae!
Go away. I’m busy. I can’t talk tonight.
But Renae, it’s Saturday and you need to do a Café Risque blog.
Oh jeepers! Crikey, I’ve run out of time. I’ve been so busy today I haven’t had time to think up a good blog topic.
Crikey!
Umm – did you just say “Crikey”? Like Steve Irwin?
Err – blast. I did, didn’t I? Forgive me. Sometimes I sound too Australian for my own good.
Too Australian? Is there such a thing?
<laughing> Maybe, maybe not. Depending on your view. Now, I need to think of a blog topic. Do you have an idea?
No – unless you want to talk about being Australian. What DOES an Australian person do all day?
Err – probably about the same as a person in any other part of the world. We’re pretty normal here, y’know.
C’mon. There must be some things that you do that are Australian that you can share?
<sighs> Okay – well, let’s see.
For a start, it’s spring here in Australia. We’re gearing up for summer now. I was speaking to my November Release Day Buddy, RG Green, and she was saying she recently had the first real freeze. I really have no idea what this means. Something to do with ice or snow, I think. Perth rarely dips below zero degrees celsius, so we don’t get “freezes”.
Tomorrow we’re expecting a mini-heatwave. 36 degrees (96F) so my husband has promised to take the kids down to the beach for a while.
The beach? Aren’t there sharks in the water?
Sure. But if you were afraid of every little thing that could kill you, you wouldn’t get out of bed. There are sharks in the water, and recently a surfer lost an arm and a hand to a shark. But we have beach patrols, helicopters and warning systems. We should be okay.
A long necked tortoise (which is
actually a turtle - go figure)Which reminds me of another distinctly Australian thing I had to do last week. Being spring, the reptiles and wildlife are on the move. My husband had to stop in the middle of the road on the way home to allow a family of three long necked tortoises to cross. And I found a snake that had been run over by a car.
The poor snake had been killed by a single tyre across his middle. He was just trying to warm himself on the road. The problem was his head was intact from the incidence. Venomous dugite snakes are still deadly after death. Their fangs contain the venom, and even after five years, a scratch from a dugite skeleton’s teeth can kill you. So I went back with a bucket and picked up the poor thing. The kids would be walking past it on their way home from school, so I wanted to dispose of it.
Eww! Gross!
Yeah. I know. But someone had to do it.
What about today? Anything today that is distinctly Australian?
Today I worked 7 hours at the local church fete. My feet are buggered!
To me - this is an eskyBut I won a prize in the raffle. I won the “blokes pack” which I wanted because I was eying off the mini esky.
The what-ie?
The esky. You know? Like an icebox? Cooler? You put your cold drinks in with ice to keep them cold?
Ahh! And you wanted this?
Yes. It is just the size I need.
But “blokes pack”?
Yes. I also won a BBQ utensil holder, a couple of stubby holders and some BBQ cleaning cloths.
Stubby Holder
Umm – a “stubby holder”? What is that?
A stubby is a small bottle of beer. What do you call them? These things? ---->
I don’t. I don't believe I've ever held one before. So is BBQing “men’s work”?
Yes. In Australia it is *wink*.
The BBQ is my husband’s domain. I don’t mind. It means he has to clean the thing and stand next to the hot food in the summer. I’ll stay in the kitchen and make the salads, thanks. (hint: aircon!)
Throwing a couple of shrimps on the barbie, are you?
Shrimps err.... Prawns!Err… We don’t call them “shrimps” in Australia. Sorry.
Oh. What do you call them?
Prawns. To me, a shrimp is someone of small stature. There are 9 inches difference between my husband and me. That makes me “a shrimp.” But yes, we do have prawns on the BBQ. However usually I skewer them.
So, do you have problems writing Australian?
Of course not! LOL. It’s normal to me. But what I do find hard is writing authentic life for an Australian, but in a way that a person who doesn’t live in Australia, or even in Perth, would understand.
Like trying to explain your national sport to an unfamiliar reader, without making the character stop and elucidate. Because that would not seem a natural act for a character to do. Or trying to find words that an Australian would regularly use, without making readers scramble for a dictionary.
Some words have easy solutions. On my coming novel, Safe in His Arms, my American editor picked me up on the word “bin.” She wanted to change it to “trash can” which would be completely foreign for any Australian-born person to say. Of course we know what a trash can is, but don’t ever use the term. The problem was easily fixed with inserting the word “rubbish” before the word “bin.” In regular speech, an Australian would probably just say “bin,” but “rubbish bin” could also be used, and wouldn’t feel out of place like “trash can” would.
However there are some words that just don’t translate. I try to avoid using them as the simplest solution.
Is there anything else that you did today that was distinctly Australian?
<snort> Of course. I had Weetbix for breakfast. I drove an Australian car on the left hand side of the road to the fete. I handled Australian money all day. I had a Devonshire tea for my morning break, and a sausage sizzle for lunch. I bought plum jam, honey, lemon butter and scones from the fete. I also bought a dill plant. I
These are scones people!
And the word is pronounced to rhyme
with "John" not "cone."placed a Tupperware order.
When I got home I fed my chooks and collected the eggs. I watered my pot plants where the bore wouldn’t reach. I rescued my corn from being strangled by the pumpkin vine, gave the cucumbers something to climb up, picked silverbeet and gave it straight to the chooks, and ate fresh boysenberries off the vine.
I had a steak sandwich for dinner and complained to hubby that he should’ve put beetroot on it. I helped my daughter build Lego, and listened to my son mumble and get excited about Minecraft. I lied to a telemarketer on the phone, fed the cats, and washed dishes. I read my daughter a book about sea dragons, promised my son that he could fall asleep in my bed, and wondered how my husband could watch a movie and play on the iPad at the same time.
So – if you didn’t do any of that today. Then perhaps you’re not Australian.
Or perhaps you’re just not me. Because that’s what I did.
Be sure to check out my upcoming novel, Safe in His Arms which is available for preorder here.
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5736
How to contact Renae:
Email: renaekaye@iinet.net.au
Website: www.renaekaye.weebly.com
FB: www.facebook.com/renae.kaye.9
Twitter: @renaekkaye
Shh!
Psst – Renae!
Go away. I’m busy. I can’t talk tonight.
But Renae, it’s Saturday and you need to do a Café Risque blog.
Oh jeepers! Crikey, I’ve run out of time. I’ve been so busy today I haven’t had time to think up a good blog topic.
Crikey!
Umm – did you just say “Crikey”? Like Steve Irwin?
Err – blast. I did, didn’t I? Forgive me. Sometimes I sound too Australian for my own good.
Too Australian? Is there such a thing?
<laughing> Maybe, maybe not. Depending on your view. Now, I need to think of a blog topic. Do you have an idea?
No – unless you want to talk about being Australian. What DOES an Australian person do all day?
Err – probably about the same as a person in any other part of the world. We’re pretty normal here, y’know.
C’mon. There must be some things that you do that are Australian that you can share?
<sighs> Okay – well, let’s see.
For a start, it’s spring here in Australia. We’re gearing up for summer now. I was speaking to my November Release Day Buddy, RG Green, and she was saying she recently had the first real freeze. I really have no idea what this means. Something to do with ice or snow, I think. Perth rarely dips below zero degrees celsius, so we don’t get “freezes”.
Tomorrow we’re expecting a mini-heatwave. 36 degrees (96F) so my husband has promised to take the kids down to the beach for a while.
The beach? Aren’t there sharks in the water?
Sure. But if you were afraid of every little thing that could kill you, you wouldn’t get out of bed. There are sharks in the water, and recently a surfer lost an arm and a hand to a shark. But we have beach patrols, helicopters and warning systems. We should be okay.
A long necked tortoise (which isactually a turtle - go figure)Which reminds me of another distinctly Australian thing I had to do last week. Being spring, the reptiles and wildlife are on the move. My husband had to stop in the middle of the road on the way home to allow a family of three long necked tortoises to cross. And I found a snake that had been run over by a car.
The poor snake had been killed by a single tyre across his middle. He was just trying to warm himself on the road. The problem was his head was intact from the incidence. Venomous dugite snakes are still deadly after death. Their fangs contain the venom, and even after five years, a scratch from a dugite skeleton’s teeth can kill you. So I went back with a bucket and picked up the poor thing. The kids would be walking past it on their way home from school, so I wanted to dispose of it.
Eww! Gross!
Yeah. I know. But someone had to do it.
What about today? Anything today that is distinctly Australian?
Today I worked 7 hours at the local church fete. My feet are buggered!
.jpg)
To me - this is an eskyBut I won a prize in the raffle. I won the “blokes pack” which I wanted because I was eying off the mini esky.
The what-ie?
The esky. You know? Like an icebox? Cooler? You put your cold drinks in with ice to keep them cold?
Ahh! And you wanted this?
Yes. It is just the size I need.
But “blokes pack”?
Yes. I also won a BBQ utensil holder, a couple of stubby holders and some BBQ cleaning cloths.
.jpg)
Stubby Holder
Umm – a “stubby holder”? What is that?
A stubby is a small bottle of beer. What do you call them? These things? ---->
I don’t. I don't believe I've ever held one before. So is BBQing “men’s work”?
Yes. In Australia it is *wink*.
The BBQ is my husband’s domain. I don’t mind. It means he has to clean the thing and stand next to the hot food in the summer. I’ll stay in the kitchen and make the salads, thanks. (hint: aircon!)
Throwing a couple of shrimps on the barbie, are you?
Shrimps err.... Prawns!Err… We don’t call them “shrimps” in Australia. Sorry.
Oh. What do you call them?
Prawns. To me, a shrimp is someone of small stature. There are 9 inches difference between my husband and me. That makes me “a shrimp.” But yes, we do have prawns on the BBQ. However usually I skewer them.
So, do you have problems writing Australian?
Of course not! LOL. It’s normal to me. But what I do find hard is writing authentic life for an Australian, but in a way that a person who doesn’t live in Australia, or even in Perth, would understand.
Like trying to explain your national sport to an unfamiliar reader, without making the character stop and elucidate. Because that would not seem a natural act for a character to do. Or trying to find words that an Australian would regularly use, without making readers scramble for a dictionary.
Some words have easy solutions. On my coming novel, Safe in His Arms, my American editor picked me up on the word “bin.” She wanted to change it to “trash can” which would be completely foreign for any Australian-born person to say. Of course we know what a trash can is, but don’t ever use the term. The problem was easily fixed with inserting the word “rubbish” before the word “bin.” In regular speech, an Australian would probably just say “bin,” but “rubbish bin” could also be used, and wouldn’t feel out of place like “trash can” would.
However there are some words that just don’t translate. I try to avoid using them as the simplest solution.
Is there anything else that you did today that was distinctly Australian?
<snort> Of course. I had Weetbix for breakfast. I drove an Australian car on the left hand side of the road to the fete. I handled Australian money all day. I had a Devonshire tea for my morning break, and a sausage sizzle for lunch. I bought plum jam, honey, lemon butter and scones from the fete. I also bought a dill plant. I
These are scones people!And the word is pronounced to rhyme
with "John" not "cone."placed a Tupperware order.
When I got home I fed my chooks and collected the eggs. I watered my pot plants where the bore wouldn’t reach. I rescued my corn from being strangled by the pumpkin vine, gave the cucumbers something to climb up, picked silverbeet and gave it straight to the chooks, and ate fresh boysenberries off the vine.
I had a steak sandwich for dinner and complained to hubby that he should’ve put beetroot on it. I helped my daughter build Lego, and listened to my son mumble and get excited about Minecraft. I lied to a telemarketer on the phone, fed the cats, and washed dishes. I read my daughter a book about sea dragons, promised my son that he could fall asleep in my bed, and wondered how my husband could watch a movie and play on the iPad at the same time.
So – if you didn’t do any of that today. Then perhaps you’re not Australian.Or perhaps you’re just not me. Because that’s what I did.
Be sure to check out my upcoming novel, Safe in His Arms which is available for preorder here.
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5736
How to contact Renae:
Email: renaekaye@iinet.net.au
Website: www.renaekaye.weebly.com
FB: www.facebook.com/renae.kaye.9
Twitter: @renaekkaye
November 5, 2014
Ask Andrew - Audiobook Production
Dear Andrew, I read your blog about audio narrators because a short while ago someone suggested to me that I get my books done in audio format for readers who were visually impaired. I had always steered away from them because when I did some research I had felt that it was something that was really expensive to get done professionally.
In your opinion are there enough sales in the audio market for m/m books to justify the cost and could you give any tips or suggestions on how an author (who is a total newbie to the whole audio side of things) can go about doing this successfully. Lisa Dear Lisa Its hard for me to answer specifically whether audiobook production is expensive because it depends on a number of factors, including what is expensive to you. However to answer your first question, there can be enough sales for m/m books to justify the cost of creating audiobooks. However, there are some things that each author should know. First, the cost viability depends a great deal on the amount you pay your narrator. So my first advice is to be careful and thoughtful when choosing your narrator and then negotiating the rate that they will charge. I'm not saying to rake the narrator over the coals, but be careful in the amount you pay. Choose a voice that you'd like to listen to for 6 to 8 hours. But don't become so fixated on having one particular voice that you overpay to get it. The audiobook listener isn't necessarily the same customer as the e-book reader. There is overlap, but audiobook listeners are a separate customer that you will need to market too. This will take additional time and possibly expense on your part. As for producing your own audiobooks, its my suggestion is to do your research. There are various tools and videos out there to help you through the process. Audible has a set of tools for making your title available for audition by potential narrators and the ACX application will help you through the process, but that's just the mechanics. Be sure to do your business research to make sure that this is viable for you. Hugs and LoveAndrew
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author. The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture. I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.
So if you have a question, please send it to andrewgreybooks@comcast.net. This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost. I will answer one question a week.
Please remember this is meant to be all in fun. (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.) So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.
Visit Andrew on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgreybooks and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.
Follow him on Twitter: @andrewgreybooks
Visit Andrew's web site: www,andrewgreybooks.com
In your opinion are there enough sales in the audio market for m/m books to justify the cost and could you give any tips or suggestions on how an author (who is a total newbie to the whole audio side of things) can go about doing this successfully. Lisa Dear Lisa Its hard for me to answer specifically whether audiobook production is expensive because it depends on a number of factors, including what is expensive to you. However to answer your first question, there can be enough sales for m/m books to justify the cost of creating audiobooks. However, there are some things that each author should know. First, the cost viability depends a great deal on the amount you pay your narrator. So my first advice is to be careful and thoughtful when choosing your narrator and then negotiating the rate that they will charge. I'm not saying to rake the narrator over the coals, but be careful in the amount you pay. Choose a voice that you'd like to listen to for 6 to 8 hours. But don't become so fixated on having one particular voice that you overpay to get it. The audiobook listener isn't necessarily the same customer as the e-book reader. There is overlap, but audiobook listeners are a separate customer that you will need to market too. This will take additional time and possibly expense on your part. As for producing your own audiobooks, its my suggestion is to do your research. There are various tools and videos out there to help you through the process. Audible has a set of tools for making your title available for audition by potential narrators and the ACX application will help you through the process, but that's just the mechanics. Be sure to do your business research to make sure that this is viable for you. Hugs and LoveAndrew
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author. The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture. I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.So if you have a question, please send it to andrewgreybooks@comcast.net. This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost. I will answer one question a week.
Please remember this is meant to be all in fun. (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.) So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.
Visit Andrew on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgreybooks and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.
Follow him on Twitter: @andrewgreybooks
Visit Andrew's web site: www,andrewgreybooks.com
November 4, 2014
sparkly winged elves of spunky goodness
<Sean> Hey
<BA> Hey doll
<BA> J is hanging art
<BA> because she is tall
<Sean> heeee
<Sean> are you otherwise unpacked and moved in?
<BA> YES
<BA> YESYESYES
<BA> the house is great
<BA> I love it
<BA> and?
<BA> my handyman, Ralph (yes, his name is Ralph)
<Sean> lol
<BA> came to see today
<Sean> yeah?
<BA> and he said that this was a MUCH better house
<BA> safer
<BA> better shape
<BA> man, it's COLD outside
<Sean> yay for better
<Sean> and that you love it
<BA> nods
<Sean> we're cold if the wind blows
<Sean> otherwise it's not so bad
<BA> well, your not so bad
<Sean> I like it
<BA> and my not so bad are a WEE bit different
<Sean> heeee
<Sean> when it comes to cold, yeah
<Sean> 10C below is not so bad if there's no wind ;)
<BA> oh
<BA> hey
<BA> it was colder at 55 in Portland
<BA> than it was at 15 here
<Sean> nods
<BA> because there's no humidity
<Sean> we have the humidity here
<Sean> but while i hate it in the summer, I can live with it in the winter
<Sean> I think we already established I'm a freak ;)
<BA> heeee
<Sean> did you have a good Halloween?
<BA> I am enjoying having a reason to wear sweaters.
<BA> yeah. It was quiet, but nice.
<BA> I made chili
<BA> and cornbread
<Sean> yum
<BA> and I may have had a couple of beers
<Sean> chuckles
<Sean> beer good
<BA> indeed
<BA> *grins*
<BA> I'm so ready to not think about moving -- it's like we've been doing *nothing* but thinking about it
<Sean> yeah
<Sean> you must be happy you're done
<Sean> I hate the whole moving process myself
<BA> heeee
<BA> you've moved, what?
<BA> once
<BA> and I've moved 7 times
<BA> :D
<Sean> let's see
<BA> I mean since we met
<Sean> oh
<Sean> that's different
<Sean> yeah once
<Sean> but that's a reaction to growing up moving all the time
<Sean> I think
<BA> heeeee
<BA> nods
<BA> I never intend to move again (HA, right?)
<Sean> we'd moved eight times by the time I was ten
<Sean> just don't tell the universe that and you might make it ;)
<BA> heeeeee
<BA> *grins* Tell me a story
<BA> I'll start
<Sean> tell me what you want to hear ;)
<BA> Once upon a time
<BA> there was a prince in a crystal castle with a huge penis that scared everyone.
<Sean> cackles
<Sean> until a cute fairy boy got a look at it
<Sean> and he said, oh, crysal prince, I've never seen such a big penis, you must fuck me with it
<Sean> but let me suck it first
<BA> I was thinking about fairies just last night!
<Sean> GTMA!
<BA> I bet the crystal palaced prince was too
<Sean> or even GMTA
<BA> do you think fairy spunk glitters?
<Sean> oh definitely
<BA> yeah, but what if it worked like Tinkerbell?
<Sean> though I bet the glitter gives it a funny texture and nobody wants to swallow
<BA> And every time one came on you, you started flying
<BA> oh, that's an exceptional point.
<Sean> oh fuck, that's hillarious
<BA> (and made me gag a little, go you)
<Sean> LOL
<BA> I know, right?
<BA> BANG
<BA> Honey, I'm on the ceiling again
<Sean> gives a whole new meaning to "making him fly"
<Sean> and also LOL
<BA> Also, if I were a fairy (which I'm not), I would be *totally* messing with people
<Sean> this does not surprise me in the least
<BA> oh, I bet poor fairies get kidnapped a lot
<BA> used for their ejaculate
<Sean> or they sell it on the black market
<BA> nods
<BA> jacking off for floaty profit
<Sean> yes!
<Sean> oh lord, I might have to write a wee story
<Sean> maybe for smutty advent
<BA> *giggles*
<Sean> something silly and steamy
<BA> and spunky
<Sean> nods
<Sean> indeed
<BA> sparkly winged elves of spunky goodness...
<Sean> selling off their semen to make a few bucks
<BA> Did I tell you that Julia wrote a Christmas story and dedicated it to you and Kris Norris?
<Sean> oh cool!
<BA> Canadian elf lumberjacks and a dentist
<Sean> Bwahahahaha
<Sean> that's almost as good as glittering fairy spunk that makes you fly
<BA> almost
<BA> I expect a story
<BA> dedicated to me
<Sean> of course
<BA> you know, that would come as quite a shock to a new lover...
<Sean> LOL
<Sean> It would
<Sean> you're going to make me write this damn thing now, I can tell
<BA> heeeee
<BA> it's a plan
<BA> I'll write you Coke as Santa Claus
<Sean> oh that's a good deal
<BA> heeeee
<Sean> you're on
<BA> you know Coke and Dillon love Christmas
<Sean> yep
<Sean> and you know I love Coke ad Dillon
<BA> I do
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> okay, honey. There's a pot of coffee calling my name and I know it's late for you
<Sean> it is
<BA> love you so
<Sean> especiallywith the damn time change
<Sean> love you too - see you next week!
<BA> god, yes
<BA> nods
<BA> we'll make Julia tell us a story ;-)
<Sean> sounds like a plan
<BA> *waves*
<Sean> night
<BA> night babe :D
If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that.
You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.
Sean’s website is http://www.seanmichaelwrites.com
Julia’s is http://www.juliatalbot.com
BA’s is http://www.batortuga.com
Facebook:
Sean -- https://www.facebook.com/SeanMichaelW...
Julia -- https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbota...
BA -- https://www.facebook.com/batortuga
Thanks for reading!
Sean
<BA> Hey doll
<BA> J is hanging art
<BA> because she is tall
<Sean> heeee
<Sean> are you otherwise unpacked and moved in?
<BA> YES
<BA> YESYESYES
<BA> the house is great
<BA> I love it
<BA> and?
<BA> my handyman, Ralph (yes, his name is Ralph)
<Sean> lol
<BA> came to see today
<Sean> yeah?
<BA> and he said that this was a MUCH better house
<BA> safer
<BA> better shape
<BA> man, it's COLD outside
<Sean> yay for better
<Sean> and that you love it
<BA> nods
<Sean> we're cold if the wind blows
<Sean> otherwise it's not so bad
<BA> well, your not so bad
<Sean> I like it
<BA> and my not so bad are a WEE bit different
<Sean> heeee
<Sean> when it comes to cold, yeah
<Sean> 10C below is not so bad if there's no wind ;)
<BA> oh
<BA> hey
<BA> it was colder at 55 in Portland
<BA> than it was at 15 here
<Sean> nods
<BA> because there's no humidity
<Sean> we have the humidity here
<Sean> but while i hate it in the summer, I can live with it in the winter
<Sean> I think we already established I'm a freak ;)
<BA> heeee
<Sean> did you have a good Halloween?
<BA> I am enjoying having a reason to wear sweaters.
<BA> yeah. It was quiet, but nice.
<BA> I made chili
<BA> and cornbread
<Sean> yum
<BA> and I may have had a couple of beers
<Sean> chuckles
<Sean> beer good
<BA> indeed
<BA> *grins*
<BA> I'm so ready to not think about moving -- it's like we've been doing *nothing* but thinking about it
<Sean> yeah
<Sean> you must be happy you're done
<Sean> I hate the whole moving process myself
<BA> heeee
<BA> you've moved, what?
<BA> once
<BA> and I've moved 7 times
<BA> :D
<Sean> let's see
<BA> I mean since we met
<Sean> oh
<Sean> that's different
<Sean> yeah once
<Sean> but that's a reaction to growing up moving all the time
<Sean> I think
<BA> heeeee
<BA> nods
<BA> I never intend to move again (HA, right?)
<Sean> we'd moved eight times by the time I was ten
<Sean> just don't tell the universe that and you might make it ;)
<BA> heeeeee
<BA> *grins* Tell me a story
<BA> I'll start
<Sean> tell me what you want to hear ;)
<BA> Once upon a time
<BA> there was a prince in a crystal castle with a huge penis that scared everyone.
<Sean> cackles
<Sean> until a cute fairy boy got a look at it
<Sean> and he said, oh, crysal prince, I've never seen such a big penis, you must fuck me with it
<Sean> but let me suck it first
<BA> I was thinking about fairies just last night!
<Sean> GTMA!
<BA> I bet the crystal palaced prince was too
<Sean> or even GMTA
<BA> do you think fairy spunk glitters?
<Sean> oh definitely
<BA> yeah, but what if it worked like Tinkerbell?
<Sean> though I bet the glitter gives it a funny texture and nobody wants to swallow
<BA> And every time one came on you, you started flying
<BA> oh, that's an exceptional point.
<Sean> oh fuck, that's hillarious
<BA> (and made me gag a little, go you)
<Sean> LOL
<BA> I know, right?
<BA> BANG
<BA> Honey, I'm on the ceiling again
<Sean> gives a whole new meaning to "making him fly"
<Sean> and also LOL
<BA> Also, if I were a fairy (which I'm not), I would be *totally* messing with people
<Sean> this does not surprise me in the least
<BA> oh, I bet poor fairies get kidnapped a lot
<BA> used for their ejaculate
<Sean> or they sell it on the black market
<BA> nods
<BA> jacking off for floaty profit
<Sean> yes!
<Sean> oh lord, I might have to write a wee story
<Sean> maybe for smutty advent
<BA> *giggles*
<Sean> something silly and steamy
<BA> and spunky
<Sean> nods
<Sean> indeed
<BA> sparkly winged elves of spunky goodness...
<Sean> selling off their semen to make a few bucks
<BA> Did I tell you that Julia wrote a Christmas story and dedicated it to you and Kris Norris?
<Sean> oh cool!
<BA> Canadian elf lumberjacks and a dentist
<Sean> Bwahahahaha
<Sean> that's almost as good as glittering fairy spunk that makes you fly
<BA> almost
<BA> I expect a story
<BA> dedicated to me
<Sean> of course
<BA> you know, that would come as quite a shock to a new lover...
<Sean> LOL
<Sean> It would
<Sean> you're going to make me write this damn thing now, I can tell
<BA> heeeee
<BA> it's a plan
<BA> I'll write you Coke as Santa Claus
<Sean> oh that's a good deal
<BA> heeeee
<Sean> you're on
<BA> you know Coke and Dillon love Christmas
<Sean> yep
<Sean> and you know I love Coke ad Dillon
<BA> I do
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> okay, honey. There's a pot of coffee calling my name and I know it's late for you
<Sean> it is
<BA> love you so
<Sean> especiallywith the damn time change
<Sean> love you too - see you next week!
<BA> god, yes
<BA> nods
<BA> we'll make Julia tell us a story ;-)
<Sean> sounds like a plan
<BA> *waves*
<Sean> night
<BA> night babe :D
If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that.
You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.
Sean’s website is http://www.seanmichaelwrites.com
Julia’s is http://www.juliatalbot.com
BA’s is http://www.batortuga.com
Facebook:
Sean -- https://www.facebook.com/SeanMichaelW...
Julia -- https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbota...
BA -- https://www.facebook.com/batortuga
Thanks for reading!
Sean
November 3, 2014
October 2014 by Cardeno C.
Happy Monday! Can you believe November is already here? That means it’s time for my monthly writing recap.
The Half of Us, a contemporary novel in my Family collection, was released on October 10th.
Blue Mountain, the first book in my new wolf shifter standalone novella collection called Pack, is available for preorder.
I’m working on Johnnie, a novel-length paranormal in what’ll be my new Siphon world.
And I have a new feature on my website I hope people will enjoy. It’s a calendar where I’ll list releases, blog appearances, and giveaways. That way readers can have one spot to check if they’re in a prize-entering mood.
Have a great week.
CC
www.cardenoc.com
The Half of Us, a contemporary novel in my Family collection, was released on October 10th.
Blue Mountain, the first book in my new wolf shifter standalone novella collection called Pack, is available for preorder.
I’m working on Johnnie, a novel-length paranormal in what’ll be my new Siphon world.
And I have a new feature on my website I hope people will enjoy. It’s a calendar where I’ll list releases, blog appearances, and giveaways. That way readers can have one spot to check if they’re in a prize-entering mood.
Have a great week.
CC
www.cardenoc.com
November 1, 2014
The difficulty rating of writing
A few days ago I was chatting with Cardeno over FB. Cardeno groaned to me something along the lines of “I’m sitting and staring at a blank document on my computer, trying to think of what to blog.”
Well today, I’m doing the same. I have no idea of what to blog, so I’m going back to something someone suggested a while ago – write about writing.
To me, writing a book and getting it published is extremely different from what I envisioned, so I thought I would write down my experiences, before I become too jaded and cannot remember what naïve things I thought about publishing before I became one of the published. So below, is a step-by-step procedure from my point of view. Now I muststress that these are my own experiences, and of course someone else is going to have a completely different point of view.
Step one: coming up with a story idea
Difficulty rating: 0.001/10
Time given to task: 2 weeks
I must admit that coming up with a story is never hard for me. Settling on one story is. Stories pop into my head at least ten times a day. Most fade, but some stick. When I’m ruminating on a story, I will usually think over the characters and their personalities for 2 weeks before putting pen to paper (or in my case, opening up a new Word document and putting fingers to keyboard).
Step two: writing the story
Difficulty rating: 7/10
Time given to task: 2-4 months
Writing the story can be easy or hard. Some days you’re on fire, other days you sit there with your head in your hands and stare at a blinking cursor. I thought this would be the hardest bit of writing. It’s not. Read on.
Step three: finishing the story
Difficulty rating: 9/10
Time given to task: 2 months
I just had a look in my folder. I have 18 stories I’ve started writing, but haven’t finished. They are anywhere between 4,000 words (so far), all the way up to 55,000. These are my SERIOUS stories, not just the ones that floated by. If I combined their collective word counts, I could have 6 more novels out there. Given that I’ve been doing this writing thing for less than 2 years, that is a frightening amount of work that will never see the light of day. What will my count be in another 5 years?
But yes – this is a difficult part of the writing process. Knuckling down and finishing those novels is something you need to do. You need to push yourself. You need to get over “that hump” and finish the damn thing. The shortest period for me to write a full length novel has been 6 weeks – that was The Shearing Gun and it was started during NaNoWriMo 2013. The longest has been Shawn’s Law and that took me 4 months, because I got bogged down in edits.
Step four: finding the courage to say “this is good enough to publish”
Difficulty rating: 6/10
Time given to task: 2 weeks to 22 months (and counting)
I have a book I don’t think is good enough. It still lives in my computer, unheard and unseen. One day I might bring it out.
But getting the guts and courage to say “I think this manuscript is good enough”? Ouch!
Step five: researching publishers, writing a synopsis, writing a covering email
Difficulty rating: 6/10
Time given to task: 2-4 weeks
Someone recently referred to it as a “sucknopsis”. Whether this means that it’s a piece of writing to suck up to the publisher, a piece of writing to say how much your book sucks (or not) or whether this name is just a reflection of how sucky it is to try to write that sucker, there is a lot of sucking going on. A writer who has just written 60,000 words but can’t write 2,000 words to explain what the book is about seems rather ironic. But from my observations, writers all seem to find this hard.
Step six: waiting
Difficulty rating: 4/10
Time given to task: about 2 hours stressing per day for 8 weeks
Yes. Publishers get their kicks out of making us wait. For most m/m publishers, the wait for reply seems to be about 8 weeks.
Step seven: The Contract
Difficulty rating: 0.5/10
Time given to task: 30 minutes
When that contract comes in and it says “Would you like to sign?” I believe this is another piece of irony. I submitted the story to you, I want to be published, OF COURSE I want to sign! Sometimes it takes a little to go through the small, fine print, but unless you’re a lawyer you just sign. (I’m exaggerating here – but please grant me license).
Step eight: editing
Difficulty rating: 10/10
Time given to task: 3 weeks of my time over 2 months
Of course this is going to differ from author to author, but for me, the editing process takes around 3 weeks of my time – that 3 weeks of editing and not writing a single word on another manuscript. First round edits take me about one week to do what I need to do. Then back to the editor for round 2, which takes them another week, then back to me. Then round 3 and so on. Of course, at the end then you have proofing as well. The whole process can take up to 3 months! For me, it is about 3 weeks of my time over a 2 month period.
I stupidly thought this would be rather easy. I thought that editing was a little bit of a spellcheck, little bit of “put this paragraph over here” and voila! (Okay – exaggerating again, but you get the picture).
Personally I find it very difficult, and very emotionally draining. You have an editor who is picking apart your masterpiece, sentence by sentence. He/she is telling you that some things just don’t work, that some things need improvement, and some things you wrote are just plain wrong. As an author, I find the emotional part of this process shattering.
But then, you need to pick yourself up, put aside that bit of self-pity, and work on your story, sentence by sentence. Fixing it up, shoring it up, cutting it down. Until something much better appears. This is hard. Very, very hard. As hard as those months you spent on that one chapter that never quite worked so you scrubbed it completely.
Step nine: promo
Difficulty rating: 13/10
Time given to task: Never ending
Do you know how hard it is to put yourself out there? To tell people to spend their money on your book? To tell them that they will enjoy (and hope they do)? You write blogs (like this one) hoping your name and cover will be seen and picked up. You chat to readers, to other authors, to reviewers. You beg and plead for spots on review sites. You pay for ads. You bribe people with free copies.
OMG – it is so hard!
At times you want to say – “Just go away! I just want to write!” But what good is writing if no one reads? So you put yourself out there, and wish for the “good old days” when writers banged away at their typewriters and publishers did all the promo.
To illustrate how hard I find promo? I’ve given birth twice. Once via planned caesarean, once naturally after a 55 hour labour. Now pushing a 4kg baby into the world? Recovering from having your stomach cut open from what seemed like a samurai sword? I give that about a 7/10 on the difficulty rating.
Promo? It has the unhappy task of being 13 out of 10 on the difficulty rating.
And guess what? Promo doesn’t end. You can’t ever put a time frame on it. It is there all the goddamn time.
Step ten: sitting back and reading the good reviews
Difficulty rating: 1/10
Time given to task: whenever I am feeling down
What makes it worth it? The people whose lives you touched. The people who gave their attention to your book. The people who got it.
Renae's newest release is now available for pre-order from Dreamspinner Press.
Blurb: In the late-night quiet of the caravan park shower room, Lon Taylor washes away the filth of the Western Australian mines. He’s not looking for anyone, but when Casey offers, Lon doesn’t turn him down.
Welcoming the young man in his big, hairy arms, Lon provides a safety to Casey that he has never known, and Casey wants to stay forever. Still reeling from the breakup of his family years ago, Lon’s not sure he’s ready for the responsibility of the comfort and security Casey craves.
But perhaps Lon can risk opening his heart again and hoping for a brighter future. Casey has some pretty big skeletons in his past to deal with. And Lon wonders what Casey will do when he finds out how badly Lon failed at protecting the ones he loved eight years ago.
How to contact Renae:
Email: renaekaye@iinet.net.au
Website: www.renaekaye.weebly.com
FB: www.facebook.com/renae.kaye.9
Twitter: @renaekkaye
Well today, I’m doing the same. I have no idea of what to blog, so I’m going back to something someone suggested a while ago – write about writing.
To me, writing a book and getting it published is extremely different from what I envisioned, so I thought I would write down my experiences, before I become too jaded and cannot remember what naïve things I thought about publishing before I became one of the published. So below, is a step-by-step procedure from my point of view. Now I muststress that these are my own experiences, and of course someone else is going to have a completely different point of view.
Step one: coming up with a story idea
Difficulty rating: 0.001/10
Time given to task: 2 weeks
I must admit that coming up with a story is never hard for me. Settling on one story is. Stories pop into my head at least ten times a day. Most fade, but some stick. When I’m ruminating on a story, I will usually think over the characters and their personalities for 2 weeks before putting pen to paper (or in my case, opening up a new Word document and putting fingers to keyboard).
Step two: writing the story
Difficulty rating: 7/10
Time given to task: 2-4 months
Writing the story can be easy or hard. Some days you’re on fire, other days you sit there with your head in your hands and stare at a blinking cursor. I thought this would be the hardest bit of writing. It’s not. Read on.
Step three: finishing the story
Difficulty rating: 9/10
Time given to task: 2 months
I just had a look in my folder. I have 18 stories I’ve started writing, but haven’t finished. They are anywhere between 4,000 words (so far), all the way up to 55,000. These are my SERIOUS stories, not just the ones that floated by. If I combined their collective word counts, I could have 6 more novels out there. Given that I’ve been doing this writing thing for less than 2 years, that is a frightening amount of work that will never see the light of day. What will my count be in another 5 years?
But yes – this is a difficult part of the writing process. Knuckling down and finishing those novels is something you need to do. You need to push yourself. You need to get over “that hump” and finish the damn thing. The shortest period for me to write a full length novel has been 6 weeks – that was The Shearing Gun and it was started during NaNoWriMo 2013. The longest has been Shawn’s Law and that took me 4 months, because I got bogged down in edits.
Step four: finding the courage to say “this is good enough to publish”
Difficulty rating: 6/10
Time given to task: 2 weeks to 22 months (and counting)
I have a book I don’t think is good enough. It still lives in my computer, unheard and unseen. One day I might bring it out.
But getting the guts and courage to say “I think this manuscript is good enough”? Ouch!
Step five: researching publishers, writing a synopsis, writing a covering email
Difficulty rating: 6/10
Time given to task: 2-4 weeks
Someone recently referred to it as a “sucknopsis”. Whether this means that it’s a piece of writing to suck up to the publisher, a piece of writing to say how much your book sucks (or not) or whether this name is just a reflection of how sucky it is to try to write that sucker, there is a lot of sucking going on. A writer who has just written 60,000 words but can’t write 2,000 words to explain what the book is about seems rather ironic. But from my observations, writers all seem to find this hard.
Step six: waiting
Difficulty rating: 4/10
Time given to task: about 2 hours stressing per day for 8 weeks
Yes. Publishers get their kicks out of making us wait. For most m/m publishers, the wait for reply seems to be about 8 weeks.
Step seven: The Contract
Difficulty rating: 0.5/10
Time given to task: 30 minutes
When that contract comes in and it says “Would you like to sign?” I believe this is another piece of irony. I submitted the story to you, I want to be published, OF COURSE I want to sign! Sometimes it takes a little to go through the small, fine print, but unless you’re a lawyer you just sign. (I’m exaggerating here – but please grant me license).
Step eight: editing
Difficulty rating: 10/10
Time given to task: 3 weeks of my time over 2 months
Of course this is going to differ from author to author, but for me, the editing process takes around 3 weeks of my time – that 3 weeks of editing and not writing a single word on another manuscript. First round edits take me about one week to do what I need to do. Then back to the editor for round 2, which takes them another week, then back to me. Then round 3 and so on. Of course, at the end then you have proofing as well. The whole process can take up to 3 months! For me, it is about 3 weeks of my time over a 2 month period.
I stupidly thought this would be rather easy. I thought that editing was a little bit of a spellcheck, little bit of “put this paragraph over here” and voila! (Okay – exaggerating again, but you get the picture).
Personally I find it very difficult, and very emotionally draining. You have an editor who is picking apart your masterpiece, sentence by sentence. He/she is telling you that some things just don’t work, that some things need improvement, and some things you wrote are just plain wrong. As an author, I find the emotional part of this process shattering.
But then, you need to pick yourself up, put aside that bit of self-pity, and work on your story, sentence by sentence. Fixing it up, shoring it up, cutting it down. Until something much better appears. This is hard. Very, very hard. As hard as those months you spent on that one chapter that never quite worked so you scrubbed it completely.
Step nine: promo
Difficulty rating: 13/10
Time given to task: Never ending
Do you know how hard it is to put yourself out there? To tell people to spend their money on your book? To tell them that they will enjoy (and hope they do)? You write blogs (like this one) hoping your name and cover will be seen and picked up. You chat to readers, to other authors, to reviewers. You beg and plead for spots on review sites. You pay for ads. You bribe people with free copies.
OMG – it is so hard!
At times you want to say – “Just go away! I just want to write!” But what good is writing if no one reads? So you put yourself out there, and wish for the “good old days” when writers banged away at their typewriters and publishers did all the promo.
To illustrate how hard I find promo? I’ve given birth twice. Once via planned caesarean, once naturally after a 55 hour labour. Now pushing a 4kg baby into the world? Recovering from having your stomach cut open from what seemed like a samurai sword? I give that about a 7/10 on the difficulty rating.
Promo? It has the unhappy task of being 13 out of 10 on the difficulty rating.
And guess what? Promo doesn’t end. You can’t ever put a time frame on it. It is there all the goddamn time.
Step ten: sitting back and reading the good reviews
Difficulty rating: 1/10
Time given to task: whenever I am feeling down
What makes it worth it? The people whose lives you touched. The people who gave their attention to your book. The people who got it.
Renae's newest release is now available for pre-order from Dreamspinner Press.
Blurb: In the late-night quiet of the caravan park shower room, Lon Taylor washes away the filth of the Western Australian mines. He’s not looking for anyone, but when Casey offers, Lon doesn’t turn him down.
Welcoming the young man in his big, hairy arms, Lon provides a safety to Casey that he has never known, and Casey wants to stay forever. Still reeling from the breakup of his family years ago, Lon’s not sure he’s ready for the responsibility of the comfort and security Casey craves.
But perhaps Lon can risk opening his heart again and hoping for a brighter future. Casey has some pretty big skeletons in his past to deal with. And Lon wonders what Casey will do when he finds out how badly Lon failed at protecting the ones he loved eight years ago.
How to contact Renae:
Email: renaekaye@iinet.net.au
Website: www.renaekaye.weebly.com
FB: www.facebook.com/renae.kaye.9
Twitter: @renaekkaye
October 29, 2014
Ask Andrew - Glimpses of Life
Dear Andrew
In your books, there are often precise descriptions of professional activities: computer, pastry, woodcarving, conducting an orchestra and composing music, and of course ranching, to mention just a few. It's mostly not just the overall general stuff, but glimpses into very specific aspects or techniques. It certainly lends credibility to both your characters and your stories. Where or how do you get this info? Madeleine Dear Madeleine That's a good question because sometimes I wonder that myself. :) Honestly, I'm a fifty plus year old man who has had the blessings of living a life with varied experiences and my own extraordinary cast of characters around me. I do tend to pick subjects that I know something about. As an example, while I have never conducted an orchestra, I know people who have and I spent many years singing in choirs. My partner worked as a pastry chef for many years so all things cooking are bandied about in our house all time. (This is one of our differences. He's a foodie and loved to discuss everything he eats. Me I eat so I can go on to other things. Whenever I say that, he looks at me like I'm some pitiable fool and then goes right on talking.) I once asked my eye doctor during my exam for information so I could explain why a character was blind. That was a hoot. :) There is another tool that is the writer's friend, Google. Research is sometimes the key to getting some of the details right. However I have learned that sometimes it can lead you astray as well. So I try to use multiple sources and check facts as well as possible. Then once I have these facts I relate them to something I already know. I have to say that I use knowledge, research, and then mix them in my own imagination to come up with the story and how I'm going to use them in the story. And lastly I have to give credit to my amazing editor. Not only does she edit my words, but she also checks facts and has additional experts review my work to help make sure that I have my facts straight. Hugs and LoveAndrew
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author. The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture. I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.
So if you have a question, please send it to andrewgreybooks@comcast.net. This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost. I will answer one question a week.
Please remember this is meant to be all in fun. (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.) So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.
Visit Andrew on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgreybooks and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.
Follow him on Twitter: @andrewgreybooks
Visit Andrew's web site: www,andrewgreybooks.com
In your books, there are often precise descriptions of professional activities: computer, pastry, woodcarving, conducting an orchestra and composing music, and of course ranching, to mention just a few. It's mostly not just the overall general stuff, but glimpses into very specific aspects or techniques. It certainly lends credibility to both your characters and your stories. Where or how do you get this info? Madeleine Dear Madeleine That's a good question because sometimes I wonder that myself. :) Honestly, I'm a fifty plus year old man who has had the blessings of living a life with varied experiences and my own extraordinary cast of characters around me. I do tend to pick subjects that I know something about. As an example, while I have never conducted an orchestra, I know people who have and I spent many years singing in choirs. My partner worked as a pastry chef for many years so all things cooking are bandied about in our house all time. (This is one of our differences. He's a foodie and loved to discuss everything he eats. Me I eat so I can go on to other things. Whenever I say that, he looks at me like I'm some pitiable fool and then goes right on talking.) I once asked my eye doctor during my exam for information so I could explain why a character was blind. That was a hoot. :) There is another tool that is the writer's friend, Google. Research is sometimes the key to getting some of the details right. However I have learned that sometimes it can lead you astray as well. So I try to use multiple sources and check facts as well as possible. Then once I have these facts I relate them to something I already know. I have to say that I use knowledge, research, and then mix them in my own imagination to come up with the story and how I'm going to use them in the story. And lastly I have to give credit to my amazing editor. Not only does she edit my words, but she also checks facts and has additional experts review my work to help make sure that I have my facts straight. Hugs and LoveAndrew
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author. The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture. I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.So if you have a question, please send it to andrewgreybooks@comcast.net. This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost. I will answer one question a week.
Please remember this is meant to be all in fun. (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.) So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.
Visit Andrew on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgreybooks and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.
Follow him on Twitter: @andrewgreybooks
Visit Andrew's web site: www,andrewgreybooks.com
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