Rachel Thompson's Blog, page 24

How Much Can Indie Authors Realistically Make?

A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers ~ Plato 

Two friends have told me this week that they’re disappointed in the sales of their first book, because it’s not enough for them to quit their jobs and write full time. I also read articles on Writer’s Digest and another one by David Vinjamuri (IndieReader) about the success of indie authors. And because we met with our accountant today, I have some hard numbers I wanted to share because, well, I truly don’t pay attention beyond my daily sales and it’s a good reality check.

Over the past eighteen months, I’ve made $36,000 in books sales (that’s gross, not net). That seems like a pretty good number (to me, anyway), and something I never thought I’d see. (2012: $14,000; 2013: $22,000 thru August).

Yet, is it, really? Let’s deconstruct.

BOOKS

I have three books out (A Walk In The Snark, Mancode: Exposed, and Broken Pieces), eBooks only at this point, though Booktrope signed me for print so I look forward to having that out soon. I’m also finishing up my social media for authors book and working on Broken Places, the ‘sequel’ to Broken Pieces. Pieces sells more by far than any of my other books; it’s also the best reviewed and winner of five awards. That helps.*

*Note: All three of my books have been edited, proofed, formatted and designed by professionals.

GUESTIMATED BREAKDOWN

I tell you this NOT to sound like I’m bragging, because, to be honest, there are many authors out there making way more than me. However, it’s worth breaking it down to look at the reality of that amount:

$36,000 divided by 18 months = $2,000/month. That is my monthly rent. Nothing else, just rent.
$2,000/month divided by 4.16 (my 70% royalty from Amazon) = sales of approximately 480.7 books monthly, which is right on target.
I still have to pay taxes on that, so say for the heck of it since I have no idea, let’s deduct 20%. That’s down to $28,000.
I pay $500/month for Google AdWords x 12 months, so deduct another $6,000 — down to $22,000.
Add in expenses like Hootsuite, ManageFlitter, Pluggio, and other various and sundry costs to run any author platform effectively, and deduct another $2400 so we’re down to –let’s call it $20,000.
Be sure to subtract the content editing for all three books, formatting, proofreading, and graphics, and deduct another $7500, so down to $12,500.
That’s about not quite 6 months of rent. As the breadwinner for a family of four, I still have my day job (BadRedheadMedia.com)
Add in travel to conferences, conference fees, and award entry fees and forget it — I’m lucky to still be in the black. So final total is $7,000, or 3.5 months of rent.

I’m not complaining.

My point is this: I’m making a decent living on the sales of three books, but not enough to make a decent living doing nothing but writing.

I share this not to discourage anyone, but to make any aspiring author or gosh, any author anywhere, realize that writing one book will not take care of you for the rest of your life. That is a myth and I’m not sure why most authors have this dream of a movie and Oprah’s couch, when the reality is that less than 1% of writers will ever achieve that (a number I pulled out of the air but seems about right), and those who do have likely released ten or twenty books by the time they’re an ‘overnight success.’

In an informal poll on my Facebook wall, I asked if some authors would share their total gross sales for one year. Authors offered up these numbers: $200 so far from one author (who was indie but is just now starting as a traditionally published author), a few more between $500 and $2000, a few similar to my numbers (anywhere from $10,000 to $25,000), and one standout, author Steena Holmes (who has now been signed by Amazon) made $185,000!

WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY

So, let’s stop talking numbers and get practical: what can you do right now to increase your sales?

Take a look at your overall platform — what are you doing well? What could you be doing better? Whose website/blog do you love? Start there. Then look at:

Website and/or Blog: If you’ve designed your own site and aren’t getting a lot of visits, be sure you’re using WordPress.org (not the free .com) for better SEO and Google Analytics to see your REAL visits. Many folks are using Blogger (as I did for years) and blogger seems to inflate the number of views and hits (not sure why). I saw this for myself when I went from blogger to WordPress. What changed is that my visibility is higher now, I average about 300 views daily, and I now offer a limited number of ad spaces because I’ve got the Alexa ranking to back all this up.

 

Social Media: I’ve written about social media for the last three or four years, some here but mostly over on BadRedheadMedia.com, BookPromotion.com, and San Francisco Book Review. All I will say here is that the majority of my sales that don’t come from word of mouth or advertising come from social media, so you at least need to be active on Twitter, Facebook (a page), and Google+ (also a page); Pinterest is worth exploring also.

 

Advertising: Google AdWords is absolutely worth the investment only if you know what the heck you’re doing. Mostly people don’t. I didn’t — I make my husband do it (read free tips at TheAdWordsGuy.com) since he’s into all the analytical stuff — ugh. Fortunately, he’s become so adept at it, and so many folks are interested in it, he started a business a few years ago doing nothing but that. But you don’t have to hire him or anyone — read, do the tutorials, learn, then do it.

 

Book Blogger/Reviewers: If for no other reason, you should be on social media to connect with readers as well as book bloggers and reviewers — not in a creepy BUY MY BOOK! kind of way, but really connecting. Most authors don’t know how to get reviews so rather than buying a book (here’s a great one – written by reviewer Barb Drozdowich) or connecting with people who do know, they randomly hit up strangers (who are usually not their demographic anyway). Waste of time.

 

Time Management: You cannot do all marketing or all writing. There has to be a happy medium. Take advantage of applications like Hootsuite or Tweetdeck, ManageFlitter, Pluggio, or BufferApp (I use a combo of many) to schedule in articles and blog posts, while still live interacting as a reward for hitting your daily writing goal.

 

Business Plan : Most successful authors have a business plan of some sort — from formal to one page. Even if it’s just an outline, know beyond what word count you want to achieve daily and dig deep: how many books do you want to sell daily, monthly, quarterly, yearly? What activities are you doing to sell? Always be learning, changing, updating — this is a changing industry. You have to keep up.

Like most authors, I write because I love writing. Just having one person read my work and reaching out to me is a success. This article in no way discusses the enormously gratifying feeling of hitting PUBLISH and seeing your work in print which is a huge deal! Write because you love it, not to make a quick buck because as you can see, it’s not the cash windfall many authors expect.

You need to manage your expectations and keep writing, keep marketing, keep connecting.

And keep your day job. At least for now.

 

Interested in learning more about my services or books? Click here. And a hearty thank you to the many authors who shared their sales numbers with me for this article. 

Also, don’t miss out on my newsletter for book and biz updates! Fill out that form over yonder >>>>> 

As Naysayers Cleave To Old Ideas, Indie Authors Keep Moving Forward

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Professor Trelawney: See? Right here. You may be young in years but the heart that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid’s, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave. 

[Hermione gets up and leaves, angrily] 

Professor Trelawney: Have I said something? 

~ Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling 

I’ve read some derisive articles lately targeting indie authors. While I understand why the bias still exists (‘self-published authors are ruining literature! Self-published authors purchase all their reviews and awards!’), I always wonder at the motivation behind these types of articles, especially when they are allegations with no proof sources whatsoever.

Is the person(s) making these claims (and without a shred of proof, aren’t they really just opinions?) a failed writer? Are they drowning in envy that an author they have personal issues with, for whatever reason, is successfully selling books and has maybe even been picked up by a traditional or hybrid publisher? Are they just angry people with no other outlet?

Who knows? Who cares?

My point is this: writers write because we have to write. That’s what I want to address today, so let’s deconstruct.

DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS

I get emails and tweets frequently from people who want to know specifics of my success: exactly how many books I sell every day (on average, about 20, sometimes more, sometimes less), if they can quit their day job after they publish (don’t, I haven’t, and I have three books out), and wanting to know the reality of making this their life (different for everyone).

I don’t have all the answers, of course. But it’s more than that: every writer I know, who has had a modicum of success, writes because they absolutely must. It’s no different than a musician making music or an artist painting — it’s in our blood. We as authors must decide what defines our success, nobody else!

Is it putting pen to paper and creating something out of nothing? That’s huge!
Is it selling 20 books per day? Are you not successful if you sell 1 per week?
Winning awards?
Getting picked up by a publisher?
Is it sharing expertise?
Is it writing about difficult subjects?

What bothers me most about articles like the ones I mentioned above (and am purposely not sharing here) is that they are trying so very hard to quash someone’s dream, and who gives them the right to think they even matter? They don’t. If you want to write, write. My only suggestion is to ignore this babble and do your thing.

IGNORE (BUT ACCEPT THAT THERE WILL BE) THE HATE

It’s very easy to get sucked into the negativity. I have, you have, we all have, so we know. Instead of wasting our time with the haters, focus instead on the positives. For example, I received such a beautiful fan letter from a reader this week who shared how Broken Pieces resonated so deeply with them as a fellow survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The letter was so touching, I cried. That, for me, means more than my awards, my sales, all of it. That is my success.

But hate can be destructive and pulls the wind out of many an aspiring author. And guess what? Once you release your book, there will be more haters.

And we are no different, even though we think we are. I HATED Mr. Caucasian privileged who thinks he’s better than well, anyone, writer, Jonathan Franzen’s book The Corrections with everything I am, but others love him. I think, as readers, it’s sometimes difficult to separate our dislike for an author from the material itself, and that’s human nature. It’s our job as readers and writers to rise above that, or at the very least, separate our feelings about the work from who created it.

We will write books people will hate. Fine, whatever. Keep moving forward.

CHANGES IN PUBLISHING

In this terrific article by my author friend (and NYU branding professor David Vinjamuri) in Forbes this week:

EXLUSIVE Bowker data (released in advance of official reporting) shows that self-published output has grown by 422% over the past five years, and is up 58% in the last year alone. 

Does that mean it’s ALL bad? Certainly not. More self-published authors than ever have been signed by one of the Big 5 (formerly the Big 6), more self-published titles are hitting the national top bestsellers’ lists, and more authors than ever are entering the market.

That can certainly be both positive and negative. Some of it is crap. But so what? If you don’t like it, return it or give them a bad review. Creating a book isn’t easy work, as any writer will attest. This vengeance some people have toward tearing down authors makes me extremely sad, when that book could be an author’s greatest work.

Self-published authors haven’t cornered the market on crap. Those who treat it like a business, who hire professionals to edit, proof, format, and design graphics, who connect with readers at a more meaningful level than ‘Buy my book!’ — these authors are more in tune with what the market will dictate and how to make it work for them — and are more likely to sign with a publisher…or not. That 70% royalty is nothing to sneeze at.

These naysayers who put down indie authors remind me of Professor Trelawney’s comment to Hermione about cleaving to the dry, soulless pages. Bitching about change doesn’t make a case for it — it just makes you look like a whiner.

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Also, if you’d like to sign up for my newsletter (I never share emails with anyone), please fill out the form over there >>>>. Finally, Broken Pieces and my two humor books are are available on Amazon.

As NaySayers Cleave To Old Ideas, Indie Authors Keep Moving Forward

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Professor Trelawney: See? Right here. You may be young in years but the heart that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid’s, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave. 

[Hermione gets up and leaves, angrily] 

Professor Trelawney: Have I said something? 

~ Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling 

I’ve read some derisive articles lately targeting indie authors. While I understand why the bias still exists (‘self-published authors are ruining literature! Self-published authors purchase all their reviews and awards!’), I always wonder at the motivation behind these types of articles, especially when they are allegations with no proof sources whatsoever.

Is the person(s) making these claims (and without a shred of proof, aren’t they really just opinions?) a failed writer? Are they drowning in envy that an author they have personal issues with, for whatever reason, is successfully selling books and has maybe even been picked up by a traditional or hybrid publisher? Are they just angry people with no other outlet?

Who knows? Who cares?

My point is this: writers write because we have to write. That’s what I want to address today, so let’s deconstruct.

DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS

I get emails and tweets frequently from people who want to know specifics of my success: exactly how many books I sell every day (on average, about 20, sometimes more, sometimes less), if they can quit their day job after they publish (don’t, I haven’t, and I have three books out), and wanting to know the reality of making this their life (different for everyone).

I don’t have all the answers, of course. But it’s more than that: every writer I know, who has had a modicum of success, writes because they absolutely must. It’s no different than a musician making music or an artist painting — it’s in our blood. We as authors must decide what defines our success, nobody else!

Is it putting pen to paper and creating something out of nothing? That’s huge!
Is it selling 20 books per day? Are you not successful if you sell 1 per week?
Winning awards?
Getting picked up by a publisher?
Is it sharing expertise?
Is it writing about difficult subjects?

What bothers me most about articles like the ones I mentioned above (and am purposely not sharing here) is that they are trying so very hard to quash someone’s dream, and who gives them the right to think they even matter? They don’t. If you want to write, write. My only suggestion is to ignore this babble and do your thing.

IGNORE (BUT ACCEPT THAT THERE WILL BE) THE HATE

It’s very easy to get sucked into the negativity. I have, you have, we all have, so we know. Instead of wasting our time with the haters, focus instead on the positives. For example, I received such a beautiful fan letter from a reader this week who shared how Broken Pieces resonated so deeply with them as a fellow survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The letter was so touching, I cried. That, for me, means more than my awards, my sales, all of it. That is my success.

But hate can be destructive and pulls the wind out of many an aspiring author. And guess what? Once you release your book, there will be more haters.

And we are no different, even though we think we are. I HATED Mr. Caucasian privileged who thinks he’s better than well, anyone, writer, Jonathan Franzen’s book The Corrections with everything I am, but others love him. I think, as readers, it’s sometimes difficult to separate our dislike for an author from the material itself, and that’s human nature. It’s our job as readers and writers to rise above that, or at the very least, separate our feelings about the work from who created it.

We will write books people will hate. Fine, whatever. Keep moving forward.

CHANGES IN PUBLISHING

In this terrific article by my author friend (and NYU branding professor David Vinjamuri) in Forbes this week:

EXLUSIVE Bowker data (released in advance of official reporting) shows that self-published output has grown by 422% over the past five years, and is up 58% in the last year alone. 

Does that mean it’s ALL bad? Certainly not. More self-published authors than ever have been signed by one of the Big 5 (formerly the Big 6), more self-published titles are hitting the national top bestsellers’ lists, and more authors than ever are entering the market.

That can certainly be both positive and negative. Some of it is crap. But so what? If you don’t like it, return it or give them a bad review. Creating a book isn’t easy work, as any writer will attest. This vengeance some people have toward tearing down authors makes me extremely sad, when that book could be an author’s greatest work.

Self-published authors haven’t cornered the market on crap. Those who treat it like a business, who hire professionals to edit, proof, format, and design graphics, who connect with readers at a more meaningful level than ‘Buy my book!’ — these authors are more in tune with what the market will dictate and how to make it work for them — and are more likely to sign with a publisher…or not. That 70% royalty is nothing to sneeze at.

These naysayers who put down indie authors remind me of Professor Trelawney’s comment to Hermione about cleaving to the dry, soulless pages. Bitching about change doesn’t make a case for it — it just makes you look like a whiner.

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Also, if you’d like to sign up for my newsletter (I never share emails with anyone), please fill out the form over there >>>>. Finally, Broken Pieces and my two humor books are are available on Amazon.

Stop Worrying What Others Think And Write Your Damn Story

‘How do you share intensely personal stories without worrying about what people will think?’ someone asked me in the comments of the article I wrote recently for SheWrites. I get asked this a lot, and I think it’s jumping ahead a step.

Back up to first getting there: you have to give yourself permission to write the hard stuff. You can’t think about, ‘What will mama say?’ because last I checked, none of us wants to become our mothers (no offense to moms). Write for you, not what someone else will say. You need to give yourself some tough love!

You are allowed to tell your story, unless for some reason, you’ve been ordered by a court of law not to, or if you fear for your life. Even then, I believe it’s okay to fictionalize your story, or take a pen name, but I’m not in that situation so I can’t share that particular experience. If you sharing your story will put your life or someone else’s at risk, definitely weigh your options and consider a pseudonym.

Let’s deconstruct.

PERMISSION

One hurdle many authors have to get over is worrying about what their family will think. Every family is quite different, but most are so busy with daily life, the fact that there’s a writer in the family means little. I always laugh when I read reviews that say ‘the author must have gotten her family members to write glowing reviews,’ because — as most authors will attest — our families could give a flying sack of rat crap about what we do or don’t do. Few read our work. Even fewer review it. Mostly, they just want to know: are you on the New York Times Bestseller list yet? (No.) So, how about them Yankees? (Crickets)….

Writing a book (or a blog or articles) is very lonely, very individual work, which is why most writers love it so much, given our introverted nature (for some, not all, obviously). The positive aspect of this is that there’s nobody standing over our shoulder saying, ‘Oh my god! You can’t write THAT!!!’ Right? So get over yourself. Write anything you want. Fiction, nonfiction, whatever it is — get out of your own way.

In fact, try just for fun, to write the exact opposite of who you are. I have one client who’s an Ivy League MBA in a large accounting firm who writes erotica under a pen name and he’s doing very well.

BOOKS

As I discovered through my own process of writing about difficult topics in Broken Pieces, it’s hard to let all that crap go. What will so and so say/think/feel? But you know what? It’s our story to tell, nobody else’s. I decided to share stories of my childhood sexual abuse in a way that isn’t a trigger (I hope) for other survivors, but that makes people uncomfortable because there’s no way to sugarcoat the subject. And I didn’t want to. If my book isn’t for you, don’t read it. I give plenty of warning that it’s not unicorns and rainbows. You owe it to yourself to write your story. Nobody else. YOU.

ARTICLES/EXCERPTS

Leading up to the publication of your book, I suggest you reach out to readers (always, every day, constantly), reviewers, book bloggers, and other writers or publications who are interested in reading about the topic you are writing on. I do many guest posts and interviews because I reach out to people and connect with them. I feature many authors here on this blog who share incredibly stirring stories of real life. That’s what fascinates me, and it gives them a chance to discuss difficult topics they may not be able to write about on their own blogs.

As for my business side, I draw from my fifteen-plus years of sales and marketing, plus all I’ve learned since I began writing professionally in 2007, and put that into articles that can hopefully help others or answer some  questions, as well as drawing on experts.

Bottom line: you want people to read your work, so stop hiding from yourself. Once you clear that hurdle, write your damn book already.

 

Interested in learning more about my services or books? Click here. 

Death To The Auto DM (Automated Direct Message) on Twitter

Thanks for following. Please like my Facebook page, buy all my books, clean my kitchen, and hold my wig.

Okay, I didn’t really get that tweet from someone, but I might as well have. The auto DM (direct message) has become the ‘cockroach of Twitter’ (says Kane Consulting), and I couldn’t agree more.

HISTORY

When Twitter started, and throughout its phenomenal growth since 2006, active users discovered quickly that’s it’s virtually impossible to keep up with new followers, thus the birth of the autoDM — a message generated by a third-party program (for the record, Twitter doesn’t recommend them and suggests you unfollow people who do it).

The trouble with the ‘Thank you for the follow,’ DM is that people decided to make it a marketing and/or selling opportunity (as in ‘I don’t know you, we’ve never met, but will you like my Facebook page, read all my books, RT my entire timeline, and fold my laundry?’), which sound pretty ridiculous. But the requests people make in DMs have become so aggressive and outrageous, it’s almost the same thing.

UNFOLLOW

Can AutoDMs help or hurt you? According to Optify, in a study they conducted, AutoDM use led to a 245% increase in unfollow rate. Ouch. So, if you have an autoDM set up (usually through sites like JustUnfollow or SocialOomph), go in and delete that mofo.

REASONING

There are numerous reason to NOT autoDM people, but let’s review the main ones:

It’s lazy. Listen, I’m a busy girl. I run a lot of streams. As much as it pains me not to be able to thank every single person (and bot and spammer) for the follow, somehow we all get by. As a follower, I prefer you not thank me. Crazy, I know. Rather, do something else, like: retweet me, introduce me to someone you think I’d like, share my books, read my blog, join my newsletter mailing list, etc., all activities which are other-focused.
It’s impersonal. We don’t know each other, so when you ask me to like, buy, review, etc and we’ve only just not met, it tells me this: you are not only lazy, but you don’t give a shit about me, my interests, or who I am. People are on Twitter for all kinds of reasons — rarely, however, to do stuff for you, the person they’ve never met and aren’t likely to, ever, in real life, especially if you send them a request to do something.
Shortcut. Companies decided to try to make automated DMs more ‘personal’ by allowing you to customize a message, and even add in the follower’s first and/or last name. This makes the autoDM even funnier and the automation more obvious. For example, my business name is @BadRedheadMedia. So I get DMs that say, ‘Welcome to my stream, Bad,’ which makes me laugh every time…after I unfollow, of course.

BOTTOM LINE

If you’re not sure what to say on Twitter, gawk (observe) for awhile. A good guideline is: 1) be yourself and 2) ask yourself this question: would I say in real life what I’m saying here? If the answer is no, then don’t do it!

I’m sure you’re probably a very nice person who thinks that thanking people is more important than not thanking them. And for the most part, I get that. But you need to savvy up: there are many ways to thank people (as I mentioned above) and think about this: wouldn’t you rather someone retweet you or leave a blog comment than send you a message asking you to do stuff for them?

Twitter (and for that matter, all social media), is about relationship-building. It’s not about the hard sell. Those who do nothing but request you do stuff for them are likely not selling many books or creating a dedicated fan base. Have a little self-awareness and recognize that this practice not only hurts you and your credibility, but can create issues as you attempt to grow your account.

(And don’t even get me started on TrueTwit validation — an automated DM that asks me to confirm that I’m not automated. Run away.)

What say you?

 

Want to sample eight bestselling authors’ books before buying? Check out this free sampler from#HerBooks. If you like, you buy the individual books — if not, it’s a free download

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Why I Dropped Out of High School by guest @Christina_Z13

By, Christina Zarrella author of the “Turbulence in the Veins” blog and upcoming memoir by the same title. She was run away teen who dropped out of high school, lived on the streets of San Francisco, and later earned a full scholarship from the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation to attend Yale University for graduate school. Website | Twitter | Facebook

When I was 16 I ran away from my hometown in Connecticut to San Francisco, California. I didn’t run away from home exactly – I hadn’t lived with my parents for six months or so at the time. It was August and I was just about to start my senior year of high school. Maybe it seems like dropping out was my plan, but it wasn’t. I thought my best option was to try and start my senior year someplace new, so I could have a fresh start. In my hometown, I’d suffered, was depressed, and also under the influence of a psychiatric cocktail that kept me that way.

In San Francisco, I lived in youth shelters and on the streets. Yet I continued to work with a social worker at Larkin Street Youth Services to get enrolled in a high school. It was nothing less than a miracle that he managed to get me into a top public school – the kind with a waiting list of kids far more stable than me. I started classes but quickly became frustrated – living in a homeless shelter and trying to attend high school wasn’t going to work for me. I chose to return to my hometown, but not my family, to finish high school. Once I had my diploma, I thought, the possibilities for my future were endless – I could go to any college I was accepted to, and move forward with my life.

It didn’t work out that way. What happened when I returned to my hometown high school will, no doubt, sound crazy. Yet this happens to kids everyday in schools across the country. No longer will I remain silent.

My school’s administrators tagged me as a problem child, a cancer to be removed before it spread to the rest of the student body. Kids with problems – depression, cutting, and taking psychiatric meds – weren’t seen as worthy. The people who should have helped me, betrayed me. They wanted me out of that school. First, they attempted to show that I was failing my classes, but I wasn’t. I’d even managed to be placed into two Advanced Placement (AP) courses despite the little effort I gave my studies. Next, they discovered my parents had moved to a different town. Although my in-town address had not changed, I was thrown out of school because my parents had changed theirs. The state recognized me as emancipated, and my town should have as well. It was a technicality, and also illegal. With no advocate, I was promptly dismissed from public school for no reason other than being deemed a problem kid.

I called the nearby town where my parents lived and was told I couldn’t attend there either – I wasn’t a resident. Weeks later, someone suggested I talk to a lawyer. With no internet in the 1990s, I pulled out a phone book and randomly dialed one. He listened to my story, and told me what the school administrators had done was illegal – I was a resident of that town and had a right to attend public high school. He instructed me to call my school and repeat what he had said. If they gave me any problems after that, he would take my case. I don’t know who that man was, but I am so grateful to him. That stranger gave me courage, and also hope.

After I called the high school, I was immediately readmitted. My excitement was short- lived. I had an entirely new problem – I’d missed weeks of classes. No tutor was offered, and I was in no state to catch up on the missed work. I was drowning. With no help offered, I sank.

The school administrators won. I dropped out of high school that November. With no hope of finishing high school, I returned to living on the streets of San Francisco before Christmas. The following year I earned a high school equivalency, but did not achieve my dream of attending college until I was 23. I completed my Bachelor Degree with a 4.0 average, and went on to earn a graduate degree from Yale University with a full scholarship from the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation.

Some think I should be angry with those school administrators for forcing me to drop out of high school. I’m not. Yes, they tried to squash me, but what they really did was make me stronger. I never would have achieved the academic success that I have if it weren’t for them. I’m grateful. If any of those folks are reading – thank you.

What does make me angry is that I’m not the only kid who was stereotyped and treated like trash to be discarded. My high school was later investigated for having an inordinately high drop-out rate for such an affluent suburb – I was not the only one targeted, harassed, and forced to drop-out. Sadly, I know that it’s not the only school that does this. It happens everywhere. No one deserves to be treated like a throwaway. And this throwaway ended up a Yale graduate.

 

Want to sample eight bestselling authors’ books before buying? Check out this free sampler from#HerBooks. If you like, you buy the individual books — if not, it’s a free download

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Of Course! It Must Be All That Estrogen Coursing Through Our Veins

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I’m honestly not sure if it’s my red hair or just the fact that I’m a woman who speaks her mind, but there’s something bigoted afoot and I’m having none of it.

THE STUDY

I shared an article this week from JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) conducted by Harvard and USC, that shows female physicians make significantly less than their male counterparts:

In the late 1980s, male physicians earned $33,840, or 20 percent, more in annual salary than their female counterparts. By the late 2000s, that grew to a 25.3 percent gap, a difference of $56,019 per year. The same trends showed up among dentists and physician assistants, but not pharmacists or health insurance executives. (Women account for almost 50% of US medical students and more than one-third of all physicians.) 

The study was conducted from 1987 to 2010 and considered specialties. Read more if you want specifics.

THE REACTION

Comments across my social media range from (all men, mind you):

Maybe women need to work a little harder.
In order to make the same pay, you have to do the same work.
Just female propaganda.
More whining by feminists.

Call me idealistic or just plain naive, but WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously, how can men still believe this? ‘Do the same work?‘ So did the females not go to, and graduate from, the same medical schools as their male counterparts? I’m stumped. Is there a different, remedial Harvard Med School just for women?

It shocked me, and I’m still seething. Must be all that dreaded estrogen coursing through my veins.

INSIDER KNOWLEDGE

Or maybe it’s because I was in the pharma industry for over fifteen years, calling on both male and female physicians — I saw firsthand the long hours they work, the sacrifices they make to their personal lives for their patients, the lack of funding from insurance companies — all in the name of their career of helping people. Yes, it’s still a male-dominated industry, but that is changing. And no, the females I saw weren’t OB/GYNs or pediatricians — typically female specialties (I sold blood pressure meds). The majority were cardiologists, endocrinologists, and internists, typically male specialties now being taken on by competent and highly-trained females doing the same work.

THE ASSUMPTIONS

The assumptions these guys made about women astounded me. One fella, whom I really like quite a bit and wasn’t being a jerk about it, explained that ‘maybe women earn less because they’re making greater sacrifices for their family — working less hours,’ and that’s possible. Though I feel that’s a generalization, given that men now have a much greater hand in child rearing than ever before, and many of my female physicians were breadwinners. I did see where he was going with that, but wouldn’t that be discriminatory, also?

A $50,000+ wage gap is significant. Sure, we’re talking doctors here, so everyone knows they’re rich. Ha. Most doctors have huge student loans to pay off, families to raise, tuition to pay for, or perhaps no family or spouse because of the demands of the job — no different than most of our, or any, educated population.

So why should women be earning less? Is that Head of Cardiology at Hoag Hospital (Orange County’s largest hospital), with her Harvard-educated hands in someone’s chest daily, less qualified because she has a vagina? Is her brain smaller and less able to handle a high degree of difficulty because of the estrogen coursing through her veins? Does she deserve to earn less because her breasts get in the way of her doing her job?

OF COURSE NOT.

I feel sad for men who still, in this modern day, think women are inferior. I don’t know if it’s because of their upbringing, religious and/or political beliefs, or some deep seated Freudian hatred for women, in particular of women who are more successful than they are. And maybe that’s the issue: it’s about that fragile male ego. Women in the workforce push society forward, while men like that continue to (unsuccessfully) attempt to hold us back. It’s offensive and hardly worth arguing over.

MY CONCLUSION

But we must speak up for ourselves, my female friends. We absolutely must argue. And we thankfully have the support of many more enlightened men who, like me, are offended and astounded by the bigotry in these comments. These men give me hope for a future that doesn’t look at male or female, politics, religion, or skin color, but that looks for the best.

Simply, the best.

What is your conclusion? I’d love to hear.

 

Want to sample eight bestselling authors’ books before buying? Check out this sample from #HerBooks. If you like, you buy the individual books — if not, it’s a cheap download! 

I’m thrilled to announce that my latest release, Broken Pieces, won FIRST PLACE in the eFestival of Words Awards and Gold in the Global eBook Awards. So exciting. Head over to Amazon to read a free sample (no Kindle required). 

Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to my blog and you’ll never miss my weekly posts! Just enter your email address over on the right hand side of this page >>>>. It’s easy, and I won’t share your email address with anyone. Redhead’s honor. 

Need personalized help? Check out my BadRedheadMedia.com services page. *New feature: ads! No more than 8-10 per month on each of my blogs. See Advertising  for details!*

 

Speaking Out! by guest @StephNeighbour

Please welcome my friend, Stephanie M., who is sharing something incredibly important here on my blog for the first time. I couldn’t be more honored and proud of her!

 

Speaking Out. Finally. 

 

I glanced down at the rubber-coated gym floor, and noticed that someone had taken the liberty of sharing their thoughts and scribbled, “Miss G is a dyke.”

I’d never heard the term dyke before and I hadn’t a clue what it meant. Miss G was our gym teacher, the field hockey coach and not the most personable instructor at our high school. Based on her lack of popularity among the students, I came to the conclusion; being called a dyke was probably not a compliment.  As I continued to ponder the meaning behind the quote along with the author’s horrendous penmanship, one of the boys in our class approached me from behind and knocked me to the floor. Lying on the gym floor, I tried to compose myself but that’s when he hovered over me with his malevolent smile and whispered, “You’re a f*@!%#g dyke too.”  Confused, bruised, and – for the first time – scared, I remained on the floor because something told me that if I tried to stand, he would push me right back down.

 

I was fifteen at the time.

 

I decided to get to the bottom of this “dyke” thing, because seeing as I was not a gym teacher or a hockey coach, it had to mean something else. Following my in-depth investigation, which consisted of questioning a few honor students, I discovered the explanation of the word that soon became the basis for my rapid decline in popularity. Over the next three years, I was relentlessly pushed, shoved, teased, tripped, continually thrown in the boy’s bathroom, and ridiculed – all because someone decided to label me “gay.”

I say labeled not because it was inaccurate, but because no one ever bothered to ask me if it was true. Not a word was spoken from my friends, teachers, coaches or teammates; they acted as if nothing out of the ordinary was taking place. The only voices I heard came from the students obsessed with shouting insults while shoving me into lockers. They also enjoyed taunting me by making kissing sounds if I was seen talking with other girls between classes.

After awhile, I learned to keep my head down and my mouth shut for fear of anyone suspecting I was anything but a typical boy-crazy teenager, but I wasn’t.

 

Whatever you’re doing, keep it to yourself and don’t talk about it. People like you are an embarrassment to their families. ~ My father’s advice. (I was 16.)

 

As usual, an impromptu post-dinner lecture from my father did nothing to boost my pathetic level of self-confidence. If I ever held out for a glimmer of hope that an opportunity existed to speak openly with my parents about my sexual orientation, it was forever squashed during that brief interaction. The combination of non-stop humiliation at school and the Code of Silence at home slowly turned me into an emotional pressure cooker. I found solace by skimming from the numerous unmonitored open bottles of alcohol in my dad’s liquor cabinet. Being a dyke didn’t seem so horrible, especially after downing a few screwdrivers; a belief that still rings true in certain sectors of the gay community.

 

Eventually, I reached senior year and graduated from the hellhole that people call “high school,” and I never looked back. I’ve never attended a reunion or responded to invitations for alumni events and until recently, never kept in touch with any former classmates; however, in today’s age of social media it was only a matter of time before people were able to track me down. There’s nothing like Facebook and Twitter to drag you right back to a time you never planned to revisit, but it happens. That’s the thing about social media: Once one person has you on their list, you can expect a landslide of invitations, friend requests and follows, which is exactly what ended my nearly thirty years of hibernation.

It’s been only a little over a year since I reconnected with some high school acquaintances, but I am also very selective about those whom I allow on my pages. One request in particular stands out, because it came from one extremely merciless tormentor. He must have realized the mistake, because before I was able to click ignore or block (or annihilate) he withdrew his request. Once again, all was right in my universe.

 

Some people can’t resist the urge to act like an ass.

 

Even after graduating college, I continued to uphold the Code of Silence and I entered the workforce as a probation officer. Everything was going according to plan until one of my co-workers decided it would be fun to pull out his penis when it was my turn to give him a ride home from the office. Although he deserved it, I resisted my urge to punch him in the balls. Embarrassed, he put away his junk and told me he’d done it on a dare to settle an office pool regarding my sexual orientation. The next morning, I reported the flashing phallus episode to my supervisor, who told me the best she could do was to move my desk to the opposite side of the room. She also suggested that I be more careful when offering male co-workers a ride.

I found her comments laughable, considering she herself was a closet lesbian, and had been the person responsible for drafting the memo with the carpool assignments. Damn hypocrite. A month later, I resigned and took a job as a bartender in a women’s nightclub.

 

Eventually, everything finds a way to come out.

 

You can only keep the lid sealed on a pressure cooker for so long before you run the risk of the whole thing exploding. That is exactly what happened to me in my mid-twenties when I began to experience debilitating panic attacks. Years of silence, along with self-medicating by using alcohol and prescription drugs, continued to fuel what my psychiatrist termed my “internalized homophobia.”

 

It’s now been twenty-two years since the first mental health provider suggested that if I told people I was gay, I would find an emotional freedom – the likes of which I had never known. However, in my typical fashion of always choosing the longest route, I remained silent. I never allowed anyone to get too close, endured years of anxiety, partied in dark nightclubs, lived in fear and avoided engaging in any relevant conversations with family members. This protocol still suits my parents just fine because it is much easier for them to tell their friends they have a daughter with anxiety disorder than a daughter who’s gay.

 

There’s a first time for everything.

 

Fast-forward to the present day when being gay does not carry the same level of social stigma. Artists, actors, musicians, celebrities, and professional athletes who live an openly gay life surround us. I can remember a time when there had to be a disclaimer aired before any television show with gay content, because it could be deemed inappropriate. The United States is now in the midst of a movement for marriage equality, which is something I never thought I would see in my lifetime; yet, I’ve still been clinging to old habits – sitting in fear and silence while so many others, both gay and straight, do the heavy lifting. Major companies such as Starbucks, Microsoft and Apple have come out in support of gay rights and marriage equality, so why haven’t I?

 

This is the first time I have ever openly addressed my sexuality in a public forum. I have never shared it on my blogs, in my writing, or on social media sites. When I began to read social threads addressing gay marriage, I was shocked and appalled at some of the hateful posts from those who oppose the ongoing campaign for equal rights. I wasn’t bothered so much by their desire to protect what they believe is the sanctity of their marriage, but rather the hate towards people like me, who they do not even know. The vile, revolting and hurtful things I’ve read do not warrant repeating, but they sparked a reaction in me.

 

And like the flick of a switch…

 

… Something in me changed and I finally understood what that doctor was trying to tell me so many years ago. For as long as I can remember, I have been dragging around my baggage full of secrets, lies and omissions because I could not give myself permission to put it down. As far back as I can remember, I’ve been told in one way or another to keep my mouth shut. What I finally realized is that by keeping my silence, it’s as if I condone the hate-mongers and gay-bashers while feeding my own self-loathing.

 

Speaking my truth:

 

It’s time for me to put down these heavy bags, allow people to know who I am, and stop living in fear. I’ve told a handful of fellow writers that I am gay, and the response has been overwhelmingly supportive and kind. I understand that there will always be those who just can’t get their head around it, but that will be their cross to bear. Not mine.

 

There will also be people in the world who hate me just because I was born gay. There is nothing I can do to change that. I may have to stomach hatred from people whom I will most likely never meet, but I have made the choice to no longer perpetuate that hate within myself.

 

Next stop, my parents’ house.

 

I am honored and proud to have Stephanie share her story with us here today. Please show your support by sharing this post, following her on social media, and connecting with others you know who can benefit from her story.

http://www.chucklespace.com/blog (My website &blog)
http://www.twitter.com/stephneighbour (Twitter)
http://www.facebook.com/smnwriter (Facebook)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to sample eight bestselling authors’ books before buying? Check out this sample from #HerBooks. If you like, you buy the individual books — if not, it’s a cheap download! 

I’m thrilled to announce that my latest release, Broken Pieces, won FIRST PLACE in the eFestival of Words Awards and Gold in the Global eBook Awards. So exciting. Head over to Amazon to read a free sample (no Kindle required). 

Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to my blog and you’ll never miss my weekly posts! Just enter your email address over on the right hand side of this page >>>>. It’s easy, and I won’t share your email address with anyone. Redhead’s honor. 

Need personalized help? Check out my BadRedheadMedia.com services page. *New feature: ads! No more than 8-10 per month on each of my blogs. See Advertising  for details!*

Why Protecting Your Brand Doesn’t Make You Selfish

Part of having an interactive online platform is that I get A LOT of requests from people to do things for them: read their book, retweet their cause, and sometimes even hand over my blog for their post about their latest affiliate marketing secrets or how a particular brand of toilet paper will change the world. 

At some point, while I’m grateful that people are interested, I’ve learned to say NO. Not because I’m being a bitch. Not because I don’t like them (don’t like them? I don’t even know them!). It’s because I am conscious of MY branding. I’ve developed followers and readers based on the content I provide that fits into categories I decided when I started this journey. And if your post or tweet doesn’t fit into my branding, it ain’t gonna happen.

Don’t people know it’s all about me? (Okay, kinda tongue in cheek, but the point is: be protective of your branding.) If you’re unsure what your branding is, that’s okay. You know that I talk about real-life experience, social media, authors and social media, and fun stuff like martinis and Nutella.

Let’s deconstruct.

BOOK REVIEWS: FIND YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC 

Listen, I’m an avid reader. I’m sure your book is amazing and most likely, I will read it if it strikes my fancy. But I make no promises. If I like a book, I’ll review it. But the tone of this blog is decidedly NOT promotional, for authors. For anyone. I don’t trade reviews, I’m not a professional reviewer or book blogger, and there are far too many influential people in that realm whose word means much more than mine ever could.

I appreciate that you ask. I really, really do. But I cannot accommodate you – mostly because of my work commitments (I DO read my clients’ books) and family life. There’s only so much time, and reviewing isn’t my priority.

So, what to do? Find reviewers and book bloggers — right? Seems so obvious. I know I appreciate every one of my reviews and the time people took to read and review my work, but I’m very focused on who I ask to read it also. I enlisted beta readers, top Amazon reviewers I met online, and did book tours. I didn’t send random emails or tweets to strangers requesting a review. Why? Simple marketing strategy: know your demographic. 

Here’s a wonderful list started by my web designer, Barb, which connects you to book bloggers who ARE your demographic. Also, I started Indie Book Promos so authors could send their promotional messages out in the form of excerpts, features, or interviews for a reasonable price ($10 to start) and to their targeted demographic.

SHARE YOUR CAUSE 

I have nothing but respect for all the charitable causes in the world and I support many. Lots of people doing wonderful things to help others is really why we’re here. So build your platform around your cause!

However, from my own real-life ‘Rachel’s World’ perspective. it’s a lot of work maintaining two blogs, a business, a writing career, and several weekly and monthly guest writing gigs, not to mention family and home. I’ve focused this blog on real-life experiences that have changed people. I’m not religious or political (or if I am, you don’t know about it here), because that’s not at all what my books are about. That said, I get requests from people who clearly haven’t researched me, asking me to share their post about their personal religious or political beliefs, or spread the word about their charity.

Newsflash: that’s why you have your own blog, your own social media platform, and your own persona. Give as you can — time, money, etc., and if your platform is sexual abuse survivors (as mine is), then share that with others. Use your voice. Just make sure it fits.

I don’t ever preach about a specific cause (except not spamming on Twitter), so I’m often shocked when people ask me to discuss their latest project on their god, abstinence, or affiliate marketing (real examples). Does this blog look like that’s the demographic I’m courting? And more power to you for spreading the good word. Just don’t ask me to do it for you. And don’t get mad when I say no.

TOILET PAPER 

I don’t write product reviews. Ever. I’m not sure why people  approach me (or you, unless you’ve made that clear) to discuss the latest nifty home gadget or said toilet paper. Is it because I’m a woman, so they instantly assume I must be writing about mommy topics? Which is really frackin’ condescending anyway. Hint: big ole feminist here. I love being a mom and I love my kids dearly, but I keep that part of my life private. And you’d know that if you bothered to read my (and my guests’) posts.

Not everyone will buy your stuff. Not everyone is interested in your programs. But if I can type in search terms on Google or Twitter to look for people who are my demographic, so can you (another real life example: I will not write you a blog post about how amazing your affiliate program is). Sigh.

 

Bottom line: when you enter the world of online marketing, have goals. Have a plan. Whether it’s to gain 100 followers daily on Twitter or blog twice per week about mommy topics, fine. No judgement here. But know what interests you and go after it. Be polite to dogs and waiters.

And if you really, really want me to review your book, write about Nutella and send cookies.

 

Want to sample eight bestselling authors’ books before buying? Check out this sample from #HerBooks. If you like, you buy the individual books — if not, it’s a cheap download! 

I’m thrilled to announce that my latest release, Broken Pieces, won FIRST PLACE in the eFestival of Words Awards and Gold in the Global eBook Awards. So exciting. Head over to Amazon to read a free sample (no Kindle required). 

Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to my blog and you’ll never miss my weekly posts! Just enter your email address over on the right hand side of this page >>>>. It’s easy, and I won’t share your email address with anyone. Redhead’s honor. 

Need personalized help? Check out my BadRedheadMedia.com services page. *New feature: ads! No more than 8-10 per month on each of my blogs. See Advertising  for details!*

 

I’m Not On Social Media To F**k You

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Please, do me a favor. Don’t tell me how pretty my green eyes are, that you love wild redheads, or that you want to do things to me that my husband would not approve of.

I’m not on social media to fuck you.

I’m on social media to build up my author platform and social media business. To connect with readers in a way that conservatives would still probably not approve of (She curses! #gasp), that isn’t icky or requires the exchange of bodily fluids. To create bonds with both men and women that are purely platonic.

Before you think I think I’m all that, here is a sampling of the come-ons just this month:

Will you be a ‘cam girl’ for my wife and I? (So considerate to include her, don’t you think?)
If we both weren’t married, would you Skype fuck me? (Is that a thing? I didn’t know that was a thing. Apparently, it’s a thing.)
I’d like to cover you with Nutella and then lick it off your body. (Me: I have a better idea. Put it on some bread.)
Will you lower your price for social media consulting if I tell you how hot you are? (Me: The price just doubled.)

I feel sorry for some men. Society teaches guys that to ‘get’ a woman, they have to say ridiculous things like this — I mean, do they hear themselves? I feel sorry for women, too. Makeup, hair dye, exercise, eating lettuce leaves and pretending to like it — all to get a man.

One woman told me I should feel flattered — isn’t it a compliment that guys say things like this to me? Um…what? (And that’s a whole other post.)

Whatever happened to just being ourselves? How about not focusing on what we get but what we give (okay, I may have to rethink that one for you pervs out there). Sharing books, music, writing poetry, enjoying a good meal…okay, so some of that’s difficult if a guy is in one place and the object of his affection is in another, but isn’t that what Skype IS for?

Listen, there are lots of people who are on social media to find a fuck buddy, chicks included. And I make no judgement about that. Do whatever blows your skirt up. Just don’t assume that all women are there for the same thing. Many of us are professionals and want — no expect — to be treated as such. Some of us are just there for fun and that’s fine, too. And hey, we don’t mind the occasional compliment or flirt — many of us are flirts, too. But there’s a line — we all know what that line is. (Hint: it’s located above your genitals.)

Before you say I’m hating on men, I’ll stop you right there because it’s some (not all) men who are behaving this way (and some women, too, no doubt, just not with me). Or go ahead and say I’m a man-hater — it won’t be my first time. Call me whatever you want, just do it without mentioning my breasts.

Some of my favorite people in the world are men, and the reason I adore them is because they treat me with kindness and respect. Try treating women on social media just like you would any other human (unless you’re a total dumbass — then try a different approach). And here’s a tip: if a woman is interested, she’ll let you know.

(Oh, and sending us pix of your junk does you no favors. Keep the mouse in the house.)