A.C. Gaughen's Blog, page 18

Overwhelmed

And not in a good way.  I am stressing like whoa because I have all these great things in the works.  A contradictory statement, of course, but true.

I mean, I have my debut novel coming out in 2012, roughly 12-14 months from now, and honestly, it kind of has to be spectacular in order for me to go ahead and publish book #2 (of any kind).  And book number #2 has to be an incredible book in its own right, because well, there's that whole sophomore slump thing and I would really like to move on to book #3. Maybe–maybe?–once I hit book #3 I'll feel confident that I have some kind of "base" and people are actually "buying my books" or anything else I want to put in "air quotes".

Actually, I suppose those are actual quotes.

So I'm stressing about THAT.  And I'm stressing about the edits.  And I'm stressing trying to get onto this group and trying to figure out how to turn my page into an author page on Goodreads. I mean, just looking at some other debut 2012 authors on Goodreads—this girl Gretchen McNeil debuts at the end of this year and has 297 people who have either commented on or marked her book as to-read.  297!!!–and Megan Miranda, who is actually debuting on the same list as I am (which means the same pub company and the same time of year/means she must be incredibly awesome)–already has 37 people marking her book as to-read.  Props to her, but I'm kind of freaking out.

And then–THEN!–there's this whole, "Annie thinks she can organize an essay contest.  And a fundraiser.  Simultaneously" thing.

So yes, "take things one step at a time" and "one step starts the journey" and all that will never be my style. I like to pile it on, and broil in my own stress.

Eesh, I'm back to the real/air quotes.

Anyway, I am considering my self blessed that I'm going to be in the obviously talented 2k12/"apocalypsies" class (love that name, esp as my brothers keep telling me how sad it is that I'll only be a published author for a few months before the world ends), but you know what?  I'm going to buy an iPad and organize my life.

See what I did there?

xx

IGNITE the NITE

So, what am I supposed to be doing right now?  Finishing up my edits (squee).  But I need a quick break so instead, I'm going to update you on the insanity that is my life.

First, IGNITE the NITE is liiiiiiive!   So if you want to:

Come to the event, buy your tickets here:

[image error]

IGNITE the NITE

Network about it on Facebook?  Check it out here.

Donate and support this fabulous cause? Donate via paypal here.

Find out more about the IGNITE Change Essay Contest?  Check this out:

[image error]

Spread the word?  Well, do that in your own way, but there's all the info.  We really need people to come to the event and especially to donate, so please, this is a great cause and the first chance to inspire really good karma in 2011!

Phew.  So yeah, that's consuming most of my life right now.  Sometime in the next month the 10 finalists for the contest will be chosen, my edits will be finished, the fundraiser will happen, and then I'll be off to New York for this:

I know, looks like a blast, right?  I'm totally pumped.  It's my first national SCBWI event (I've only been to regional ones before) and one of my Scotland besties is in NY now, so it's going to be a little weekend of crazy-awesome.

After the month of crazy-awesome.

Welcome to 2011.

xx

New Newsletter Thingy

Hello faithful readers!  So, with the book coming out in a little more than a year and one of my new year's resolutions to connect better and more effectively with my friends, readers and potential fans, I'm giving the newsletter thing a whirl.  Basically, sign up for the newsletter if:

you would like to make me feel good about myself
you'd like general news about the book, like when the ISBN and cover are available, when it's on Amazon, when you can pre order it, and of course, when it actually is hitting the book stores
you'd like to be invited to the eventual, theoretical launch party
you want the highlights reel of the blog/my life
you're a stalker, and this is just part of the job.

The sign up tool is right ——————————————–> there.

If you're viewing it on facebook, you'll have click back to my blog (here).

I'm testing it out for the moment, so if you sign up for I'll think it's worth it.

xx

Knee Deep in Edits

For some reason I keep looking at that title and seeing Knits.  Maybe it's because of the effect of reading the first and last letters of words without reading the middle, like this:

Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

See, you can still read it, can't you?  Everything's messed up, but you know what it says.

OR, it could be that I'm in edit mode and mentally deleted everything else.

Except my edits involved little to no deletion.  My edits mostly involve me beefing things up, which is currently at the annoying part, because it's kind of vague "add this in".  Or it wasn't, at first–my editor marked up the 'script with specific notes, but I'm now currently rereading the MS to make sure it has enough added in.

And rereading.

And rereading.

I'm looking at Scarlet so much that I feel like my eyeballs are going to bleed broken English.

Which is ironic, because at the end of this month, I WILL NEVER LOOK AT SCARLET AGAIN.

Well, not with the capacity to change anything, at least.

Basically, I'm super stressing at the moment, and it has less to do with the actual work I'm doing on Scarlet and much more to do with the fact that I'm just not sleeping past like 5.5, MAYBE 6 (on a good day) hours of sleep in a night.  Day.  Night-day.  You know.

Which feels like a worrisome way to start a new year.

However, I also purchased this as a Scarlet themed piece of self congratulation:

Are you psyched?  I'm psyched.  And I'm religiously taking AIRBOURNE until I sleep again.

xx

[image error]

Year in Review

Alright so it's a little early for this, but my life is bananas and I have time right now and may not get another chance.  Plus, I was just reading over my posts from this time last year, which are kind of crazy to look back on.  So much more happened this year than I fully appreciated!

For starters, this time last year I had just — JUST– finished SCARLET.  The one that started it all!  So since 2010 was the year of the red, let's look over Scar's journey:

Very end of Dec 09: Scar's finished.  WHOO. Took me about three months to write which still clocks in as one of the quickest novels I've written.

First two weeks of January: Some quick editing.

Last two weeks of January: Querying for Scarlet, during which I got unprecedented response and interest from agents, several requesting a full manuscript.  Also signed Scar up on Authonomy, a great website that I didn't stick with so long but I heartily recommend.

First week of February:  Signed with my incredible, wonderful agent, Minju Chang at Bookstop Literary.

February and March:  Back and forth edits with my agent to get Scarlet looking her best, and then some time where my agent put together the package to be shopped around and the list of editors to submit to.

April, May, and June: My nails were bitten off as we waited to hear back from editors.  First the rejections came in, which was brutal, and then, then! the nibbles and interest came.

July 8th:  We got two offers, one which was better and slightly different than the other, that one being, of course, from Bloomsbury.  I had a meeting at work in the middle of the day and I bawled all the way home in traffic.

After that, not much really happened until, well, about two weeks ago, when I received the editorial letter and edited manuscript, and then a week later, signed the contract.  How's that for a journey?

In terms of other gainful employment, it started off rough: two weeks into January I quit my job being treated badly at a local retailer, and for a few months i didn't really know which way was up.  I was making negative money, I hated the freelancing work I was doing, and I knew I wanted a steady job, I just didn't know what.

Enter my current job at a Boston hotel!  They offered me the job the same day as the Aquarium offered me a job, actually, and as desperately as I wanted to work for NEAQ, they were offering lower pay and fewer hours, so, in an unexpected life turn, I took an overnight job as a concierge.

Which ended up being the happiest job I have thus have the privilege of being at.  And while I'm not sure where my path with this company lies, I hope it's a really long one, because so far it's been an amazing experience.

And as far as my personal life has gone, well, not much has changed.  Love of my life has not yet materialized.  I am still remarkably blessed with an incredible circle of close friends and family that love and support me and have all demonstrated this amply through the past year.  And the weight loss has been very, very slow, but it's still going, and more surprising than anything else, I've learned to be totally ok with that.

All in all, 2010 was one for the ages.  It was a great year, and more than that, it set up a lot of things that could get really interesting in the next year.  For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm going into the new year with my feet firmly planted, and that feels absolutely incredible.

So raise your glass: 2010, you were a lovely, lovely year.

Sinking in, Amping Up

Well, it's finally starting to sink in a little bit–I've signed the contract, it's official.  I will have a book published, and it makes this Christmas pretty wonderful.  It also puts a rosy glow on the past year–but I'll have a full post mortem on 2010 sometime in the next few days.

Meanwhile, while I'm doped up on Dayquil and semi awake at work, I want to get my thoughts in order a little bit, and blogging seems the best way to do that.

Because the next few weeks are going to be crazy.  KER–AYYY–ZEE.

I'm coming to the end of the first-first round of edits.  Basically I got the editorial letter and a manuscript with line edits, and the issues broke down like this:

1. minor line edits that are more clarity/grammatical/rephrasing issues.  Easy.  Time consuming, but easy.

2. line edits that need more thought, like filling in context or fleshing out a moment.  Still easy, just more thought required.

3.  plot edits; both time consuming and thought requiring.  I really only had one of these that led to the ending being changed a little.  It was the one i was initially freaking out about, but once I found a way to tackle it, it was an easy change.

So now I'm almost through a first pass of the manuscript, going over line edits where ever they were marked on the manuscript.  There are some general edits that I will need to look the manuscript over with, which I haven't done yet, but this basically means I've done #3, almost all of #1 and still just have a bit of #2 to do.  All in all, I'm doing good.

Which is fantastic, because I need this done in about a week.  Two, if really necessary, but a week would be better.

A week would be better for my editor, so she can have some time to look it over again before Feb 1, which is the official final delivery date, and also better for me, because IGNITE the NITE, the fundraiser for IGNITE Change, is happening Jan 27th, and I have no idea how my head is NOT going to pop off in January.  We still need to solicit a huge number of donations for the silent auction and actually, you know, get the event itself off the ground.  Thank god I work with incredible women.

And, of course, because I need more things on my plate, I'm going to the SCBWI conference in New York Jan 28th-30th.  YUP.

Naturally, this means that I have presently come down with a heinous cold.  And I slipped and fell in slush today.  Mehhh.

What was my point again?

Mehhh.

The Most Incredible Thing

So, this year I've been decidedly unhelpful when it comes to Christmas presents.  Not to say I haven't been a good Santa–I've been an AWESOME Santa.  I've gotten really awesome presents for everyone in my life.  WHOO!  But when people ask me what I want, I'm all like…eh, not sure.  I don't know.  Nothing, really.

Lies.  All lies.  There was one thing I wanted, one thing I've always wanted, and Christmas came a little early this year.  Today, to be precise, because I just signed my contract for the publication of my first book.

did you hear that?  I'm going to be a published author!

SCARLET sold to the Walker list of Bloomsbury USA.

what's that?  is this the same publisher that published Harry Potter? (well, their UK parent did, but still).  YES!

Same publisher of Carrie Jones' NEED, CAPTIVATE and the brand new ENTICE?  YES!

is someone a very happy girl?  YES!!

i've been thinking about this post for so long; there are so many things i thought i'd want to say, but really, that's all.  I have to get back to working on the edits for SCARLET, because the MS is due in less than a month and NOW I CAN ACTUALLY BLOG ABOUT WHAT IM DOING BECAUSE I SIGNED THE CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!

second lead syndrome

I have a whole bubblegummy amalgam of things in my head tonight. I'll try to break it down, since I haven't blogged in a whiiiiile.

i think the first thing is the stunning plight of the second lead. I was watching Glee this morning and staring at Lea Michele and thinking, "God, you're outrageously talented". Then I thought, "And this is going to be the height of your career. Well, maybe, maybe not, but Quinn and Santana will go on to be much, much more famous than you are."

Maybe this isn't true or fair, but I think it might be. and I have a theory as to why.

first, the evidence, courtesy of my current netflix watch instantly habit:

buffy the vampire slayer what did sarah michelle gellar go on to be?  nada, other than a mom and a retired actress.  a few weak movies, that's all.  seth green?  alyson hannigan? david boreanaz?  all have been working steadily with varying degrees of success since.

center stage now, granted, most of these people seem to be actually quite famous in the ballet world.  but amanda schull, the gorgeous young ingenue, doesn't really seem to be all that ballet-successful.  definitely not acting successful.  but then the grumpy ballerina from boston went on to be ZOE SALDANA.

the outsiders who on earth is C Thomas Howell?  Ponyboy, that's who.  Now all the supporting cast of this epic film, I probably won't have to read you their resumes:  Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Matt Dillon and Emilio Estevez, before any of them were somebody. YEAH.

What else?  The list goes on.  give me any "early in their career" kind of movie and I'll give you a lead that's done nothing and a supporting cast that has skyrocketed.

okay, obviously that's not unilaterally true.  but still.  you get the picture.  and then look at something like VERONICA MARS, which was short lived but beloved–it was short lived because the lead was AWESOME and went on to become Kristen Bell.

Okay, now I'm crossing points between tv and films pretty heavily.  like i said, i have a bubble gum mess for a brain.

anyway, it all goes back to the famous quote by Mark Twain: ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT, ITS THE SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG.

Because that's what success and stardom and, frankly, personal happiness, seem to be about.  Fight.

This is not a new topic at the final word.  I blog about fighting a lot.  Mostly because i've always felt like i'm coming in second best.  I'm the second child.  I was just below the National Merit Scholars in high school, just outside of the academic darlings, just outside the ivy leagues in college, second place in writing contests since i've graduated.  i have a solid career at being decidedly second best.

however, something i've been noticing as we call more and more women to arms with IGNITE Change is that the second besters are the success stories.  These women who were just edged out of the top tier in high school and life–and were righteously disgruntled about it–are the ones who have doggedly, tirelessly worked harder and longer than their counterparts.  we are the ones the high schools are crowing about now.

it would be easiest for me to say that the institutions and people that graded us over the years didn't know what they were talking about.  they didn't see us or appreciate us, and maybe that's true.  but more than that, maybe it was being second best that made us into life long achievers.

there's no payoff without conflict.  this i know, without a doubt, from being a writer.  i can't write a story that doesn't have a sincere conflict because i simply don't care.  i don't read books without compelling conflict, because again, there's no reason to emotionally invest myself.

but when there's a conflict, where there's lack, there's dramatic potential.  there's the chance to overcome, to have that one perfect moment of triumph where you beat the odds, where you become what you've always striven to be: best.  not second best, not second place, best.  it requires work, drama, and heartache by turns to get there, but the glitter of it in the distance is irresistibly attractive, seductive, and most of all, inspiring.

working hard for something is incredibly inspiring.

it's fulfilling.  it's satisfying.  it gives life purpose, direction, even that needed dose of drama.  fighting down a demon is irrepressibly soulful.  it's wonderful, having something worthwhile to fight for.

and it's because of this fulfilling and yet single minded sense of purpose that second leads have the grit to make it in the long run.  to be more successful, more passionate, more driven.

they have something to fight for.

Want to Get Involved?

So, the IGNITE CHANGE essay contest has been a lot of work, and I'm looking forward to actually beginning to see some of the essays and experiencing the whole this-is-why-i'm-doing-this feeling, but right now I'm kind of disheartened because unfortunately, the Big Prize that I was hoping to lock down for the winner didn't pan out.

As of now, I'm personally donating some money from *cough*somethingthatican'tblogaboutyet*cough* for the winner, and we've got smaller prizes for all the finalists, but I really wanted something writerly, something that would reward a young woman for her commitment to writing and changing the world through the written word.  Something that furthers her education, as a writer or in general.

Basically, I need help.  And I also KNOW there are organizations out there that I haven't thought of yet that want to reach out to the young women of Boston and celebrate them as scholars and writers as well.  If you know an organization that might be interested in the contest (which I first blogged about HERE), shoot me an email at acgaughen@gmail.com.  I would REALLY appreciate it.

And in the mean time: nose, meet grindstone.

titles about titles…

so at the moment, i've been researching a topic that tends to come up every now and again: the idea of doing a phd/second masters.  i'll be honest, i really miss being in school.  learning about something.  struggling to grasp an idea.  and yes, i read a lot and i try to expose myself to new things, but it's never quite the same, is it?  no.  plus, i wouldn't mind having the title dr….or MAx2, that could be relatively badass as well.

things in my way?  well, basically, its not something i can really do little by little.  it's becoming clear to me that because of the course i want (linguistics) and the relatively narrow field in which i would really like to do it (discourse analysis) i'd probably have to enroll in a full time program that would let me apply for financial aid etc.  which would constitute a major situation change.  which could be really cool.  it could also be overwhelmingly expensive/debt inducing without a clear payoff.

because at the end of the day, i'd be doing this for the intellectual challenge.  not to get a job afterward.  which i realize sounds rather foolish, especially since the college i'm looking at estimates tuition plus expenses at about $60K.  per year.

a phd is like four or five years.

which, also, did i mention that a phd is like four or five YEARS?  which would pretty much be the longest i've done anything since high school.

so why is this the only thing that gets my blood pumping of my future prospects that i've been batting around?  it's one of those things that's far off enough that maybe i should just throw in some applications (because those aren't any work, right??) and see what happens,  que sera etc.  of course, i'm not even sure it's viable.  and do i really want to go back to being a broke student when i JUST started making money again? that doesn't sound like fun.

but linguistics does…. :-/

one way or another i've been waiting to feel like i care about one of these future prospects, and this one i care about.  that's got to count for something, doesn't it?