Susan Stec's Blog, page 5

Dead Girls Never Shut Up winners

Thank you so much everyone for the great support during the giveaway. I can't thank you enough for all of your entries. Congratulations go to Georgie W, Brittany W, and Apryl B. The books will go out in Monday's mail. I hope you enjoy the read. And if I make you laugh out loud I've done my job. Look forward to hearing from you.

Susan

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Tomorrow and Saturday you can kindle book one in The Grateful Undead series, They're So Vein, for free.
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Dead Girls Never Shut Up (February 14, 2013)

Toni's grandmother is a psychopath. Her sister is a
ghost. Her boyfriend is possessed. And she has no idea who she is.








Being a teenage girl is
tough enough without a summer vacation full of necromancers and ghosts. And
things get worse when Toni's sister, Sara, dies and instead of walking into the
light, stomps directly away from it, totally pissed because she didn't die in
her skinny jeans. That's when Sara finds out that a seer ghost is out to
possess Tony, and Granny has a gift for talking to dead people.




Granny's not going to be the
last necromancer in the family, but with the death of her promiscuous granddaughter,
Sara, her only option is Toni. Sara's not having any of it, especially since
the guy Granny has enlisted to help is the same guy that assisted in Sara's demise.
But protecting her living twin is really complicating all Sara's ghostly fun on
the other side!




Can death stop a twin? Maybe not, but Granny knows Dead Girls Never Shut Up.







Dead Girls will be available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in paperback, Nook, and Kindle in a couple of weeks.



Check out the first two chapters:







Chapter One




"I'm not leaving with these guys," Toni said, as
she followed her twin sister Sara into Wright's Last Chance Saloon, a family
sports bar and local college hangout.




"Give it a freakin' rest! We're only meeting them for
lunch. Order a burger—bite and nod—how hard is that?"




"If this goes south," Toni said, "you'll be a
flash of oven-baked butt cheeks when I kick you into the next state!" Why
did I let myself get dragged into this idea?




"Look," Sara backhanded hair the color of beach
sand over her shoulder, "boys are basically Neanderthals and only think
about two things: sex and food. So just work those glossy lips; smile and pout.
Oh, yeah, bat your eyes and flip your hair a lot. Guys love that."




Toni pulled nervously at a tendril of curls. "Well, at
least we don't look like twins."




Sara's chestnut eyes were already scanning the dining area. "Chill,
they won't even see us together, or see
each other. I've got a plan."




"I can't wait to hear it," Toni mumbled.




Pulling a book and a rose from her backpack, Sara said,
"We'll get separate tables, preferably on either side of the room, and sit
facing each other so they have to sit
with their backs to each other. Oh, and if my guy's a total loser, I'll signal
under the table." Sara tilted her head, lips smirking, and her finger pointing
at the restroom sign. "That's when you grab your cell phone, excuse
yourself and call me from the bathroom. I'll tell the looser I have some big
emergency at home, rush out and call you
from the car. It's perfect, right?"




It's pathetic. "Only if you promise the next
time the gray matter you call your brain comes up with something as stupid as
this you'll leave me out of it." Christ, I want no part of dating,
anyway, and now I have to make small talk with someone who thinks I was surfing
the Net for a love life.




"Come on! You know we'll laugh about this later."
Sara giggled and handed Toni the book. "Put this on the corner of your
table. That's how he knows you're the one he's looking for."




While Sara flipped her hair and strutted away, Toni ran a hand
over the shirt she'd borrowed. Maybe I'll order something with tomato sauce
on it. 




As she put the book on the corner of her table and sat down,
Toni thought, sure, she gets the rose; I
get J. D. Salinger. Perfect. She glanced at Sara who was already getting
looks from the guys in the room. I hope her date's a toad!




Toni's table was close to the front door, and every time a
guy—no matter what age—walked in alone, she held her breath, heart beating like
mad, and then let it out slowly as they headed to the bar in the back where all
the noise came from... until he walked in and she forgot to breathe. He stood
by the entrance with a lopsided grin and sparkling eyes scanning the room. His
jet-black hair brushed the shoulders of his FSU hoodie and his Levi's were so
tight they made her blush. When he nervously reached up under the hem of his hoodie,
she caught a glimpse of a tight tummy and felt a tingly wave roll in her lower
stomach.




His eyes met Sara's hopeful ones, and Toni almost moaned.
Heart hammering in her chest, she was on the verge of a panic attack when he smiled
briefly at Sara and then resumed his scan of the restaurant.



Mouth spread in a wide grin, he tilted his head toward Toni,
and sauntered toward the table.



I am so gonna hurl.
Her stomach clenched.




The room started spinning as he picked up the book and fanned
the pages. Breathe, idiot! You're
hyperventilating!




"You must be Toni, and I'm so glad you're a girl. Your
name on the email freaked me a little." He laughed, and it was so perfect
the corner of Toni's mouth twitched.




"It's actually short for Antoinette. I was named after
my grandmother." 




He stared at her and a smile broadened his face.



Crap,
she thought, I bet he's counting
freckles.



"You don't look like an Antoinette, not with all that
red hair and those freckles," he teased, and slid into the chair on the
other side of the table.




The smile on her face faltered. This is it; here comes
the polite conversation followed by the 'I'll call you some time'.




"Umm, well, I..." she stammered, eyes wandering to
Sara's table. Her sister was flipping a menu at a waitress while managing to
look down her nose at a squatty guy with a spiky brown crew cut who seemed to
be placing an order. Even sitting the boy looked at least four inches shorter
than Sara.

Toni swallowed a panicky giggle when her own date cleared
his throat. She whipped her head back in his direction, feeling heat on her
cheeks. 'I got my name from my mom's side of the family—Italian—my genes from
Dad's Irish side." Great—beet red cheeks fighting tawny freckles for
attention under a curtain of carrot red curls—color me Schizo-Tomato-Head.




"Did you get those killer green eyes from your
dad?" he asked with a grin.




Toni mentally
ranted, He's at least twenty-one—I'm not even eighteen—and he's gorgeous. "Yep,
sure did, and your name is?" 




"Oh, sorry, you're blushing and it's so damned cute
that I lost myself for a minute there. I'm Paul." He leaned in, offering
his hand. His touch made her whole body vibrate.




"It's nice to meet you, Paul." Did he say cute?
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Stout Guy talking a mile a minute with
way too much finger quoting. Sara was frantically fanning her hand under the
table, pointing over her shoulder in the direction of the restroom with the
other.




Toni ignored her. "So I take it you go to Ferris State?"
She pointed at the logo on the front of the hoodie.




"Yep, taking my final courses, but live with my parents
near Reed City High School."



"I'm going to be a senior at Reed City in the fall."
Okay, now that was stupid. It screamed jail-bait—I'm such an idiot.




The waitress walked up with a smile and a pen. Toni wanted
to kiss her until she opened her mouth.



"Would you like something from the bar?" The woman
made it very clear that she was asking Paul.



"I'll have a Coke; how about you, Toni?" 




Could I get any redder? "Coke's good," Toni
squeaked.




Paul laughed.




"Do you know what you want to eat?" the waitress
asked, a snide grin on her face.



"Just got here. Can you get the drinks and let us check
out the menu?" Paul turned to Toni. "Unless you know what you
want?"




"Umm, no… I… well…whatever you decide," Toni said.
Where the hell is my brain? She hid behind her menu.




"Tonight, it's all the fish you can eat. Comes with
French fries and coleslaw for five-ninety-nine," the woman said over her
shoulder as she walked away.




Burrowing further into the menu, Toni took long, deep
breaths. Fish, come on—that's so not going to happen.




"So, do you always pick up guys online?"




There it is; the question I was hoping I didn't have to
answer. "Nope, first time. You?"




Toni peeked around her menu at Sara. A waitress was setting
plates of food on the table. Her sister looked a bit pissed. Oh yeah! Maybe
she'll think twice about surfing the Internet and including me next time.




"A friend of mine talked me into it," Paul was saying.
"I don't do the whole pick-up thing very well." It was his turn to
hide behind the menu.




Toni's jaw dropped. "You're kidding, right?"




"I'm dying here." He peeked around the menu.
"My palms are breaking out in a sweat. You're cute, and well…"




M-freakin'-G! He just sooo didn't-say I was cute! "Excuse
me?" she squawked.




Paul lowered his menu and looked her right in the eyes.
"Now you're kidding, right?"




"Well… um... I… No! I mean, look at you!" Her eyes
darted toward Sara. This time Paul's eyes followed.




The squatty guy was about to shove way too many French fries
into her sister's mouth. Sara opened her mouth wide while she hooded angry eyes
at Toni.




"She doesn't look happy," Paul said. "You know
her?"




Toni was determined to make her sister regret she'd ever
thought this brainy scheme up in the first place. "Um, not really, so anyway,
what do you like to do when you're not on the Internet surfing for dates?"
She grinned at him and he grinned back.




Paul started to answer, but the waitress walked up with
their drinks, and Toni was able to steal another glance at Sara. The squatty
guy had moved his chair to get a better view of the back bar area where several
large screen televisions were blaring sports events. Sara blatantly used her
hand to mimic slicing her throat, and with curled back lips, jerked a thumb
toward the restroom. Squatty guy didn't even notice.




The waitress placed Toni's soda on the table. "Ready to
order?"




Toni looked up at the woman. "I'll have the grilled chicken
sandwich with fries." With a side glance at her sister, she added, "and
a bottle of ketchup."




The waitress wrote down the order and turned to Paul.




Paul glanced apprehensively at Sara from behind his menu,
shook his head, mumbled something to himself, then said, "You can bring me
a burger with everything on it, and some fries." He laid his menu on the
corner of the table next to the Salinger book.




The waitress picked up the menu, plucked Toni's from her
hand as she turned on her heels, and headed for the grill. As she got closer to
the bar, Toni noticed the waitress pause, brush her chest, look around, shake
her head, and then proceed to the bar.




That was weird.




Paul dragged Toni back into their conversation. "I'm a
movie freak; especially horror movies. What about you?" He looked at her
with anticipation through killer, blue-gray eyes.




"I like books, but not really into horror. Do you read
much?" Toni blurted. Ohmigod, that was so lame. Do you read much? Could
I work any harder at sounding like a geek-freak? I really need to start
thinking before I open my mouth.




"Actually I do, occasionally," he said with a coy
smile. "I'm into fantasy— big fantasy, like Tolkien, or A Game of
Thrones, Eragon—The Inheritance cycle? Have you read any of them?"




Toni plastered on a smile. Fantasy—just great—and I read
mostly non-fiction. "No, I haven't."



As the conversation went on, Toni realized they were
actually making small talk and it wasn't going half bad. She put a real smile
on her face and started to mention that the waitress was on her way over with
their food order, but Paul was no longer looking at her, he was intently
focused on her sister's side of the room with his face dressed out in a
grimace. 




Toni's eyes followed his gaze and landed right on Sara. Oh
great! Now she's swinging her steak knife around! The little attention whore! Toni sighed and caught the gaze of a dark
haired girl who'd been in her speech glass last year. As the girl walked toward
the exit, Toni felt something flutter deep in her stomach. The dark haired girl
shared a smile before stepping through the door to leave, and when Toni turned
back to Paul, the flutter intensified, and she realized she'd been holding her
breath. What the heck is wrong with me? It's like I'm on post-pubescent
overdrive.




Paul mumbled as if he were arguing with himself, his eyes in
deep concentration, mouth chewing frantically on his French fries.




A yelp broke Toni's thoughts.




Sara, looking wide eyed, held the knife with both hands and
pushed it from her face. She tucked her chin, and, playing quite the actress, swung
the steak knife in a flurry of arcs and stabs, jerked it to her throat and
feigned a struggle while emanating guttural squeals.




Her date seemed to be more interested in the football game
broadcasting from a wide screen mounted on the wall over the bar. He briefly
grinned at Sara, crammed a fist full of fries in his mouth, and a victory cry
jerked his attention back to the bar.




Paul was totally
zoned in on Sara. But with both hands placed on his cheeks he was literally
fighting with himself to turn back toward Toni. It was as though Paul was play
acting with Sara.

I'm gonna kill my sister when we get home!







~~~~




Neither Paul nor
Toni could see the two ghostly apparitions standing by the entrance to the bar.















Chapter Two






One of the ghosts, an old woman, looked to be in her
sixties, dressed in early sixteenth century maid's clothing. Her long, rough
cotton dress, buttoned primly all the way up to her neck and accentuated a
round face and flashing green eyes. A drab brown apron cinched her generous
waist and fell to her feet over brown leather ankle boots that looked as old as
the lines on her face. Her gray hair was pulled back in a bun and partially
secured by a small, cream-colored cotton cap.




The other ghost was in his twenties with slicked back blond
hair. One long strand flopped in front of blue eyes that were intensely focused
on a table by the door. Pale, and lanky, he was naked except for skin tight underwear
which made it clear he was not from the sixteenth century.




"Are y'watchin' this, Martin?" Ruth, the older
ghost, asked, gesturing to Paul. "The boy's lookin' at 'er, 'e is. Seems
'e's arguing with 'imself. And that girl, Sara? Why, I'd say she's fightin' that
knife, she is. It doesn't bode well, dear."




Martin, the blond haired ghost, rolled his translucent eyes.
"Oh please, the bling-chick looks like she's jerking her date
around." Martin's eyes seemed to float out of his head before being pulled
back by tendrils of smoke. "Will you look at that hottie bending over the
table by the window? If I wasn't dead, honey, I'd be all over him."




"Godrestyerunsavorysoul, do try t' stay focused on the
young man in question."




Martin and Ruth exchanged a polite but prickly look.




"I'm always focused, Ruth." Martin zeroed in on
the hottie again.




"Well, of course y'are, dear." She patted his arm.




"He leans over that table one more time I'm doing a
walk-through."




"Blessyeranimalurges, there's no time fer yer unsavory amusements;
calamity is presentin' itself, Martin. Y'need not be causin' a kerfuffle of our
own, dear."



"Shame, I could wear him like a glove."



Ruth patted Martin's arm again. "Yes, well put it out o'yer
mind, dear. Paul's studyin' 'er with the glare o'a research scientist while
masticating those fried sticks, an 'is eyes're doin' that flashin' thing we've
seen many-a-time with other victims o' possession, they are. I believe we're
about t'lose Sara, Martin."




Martin blew an evasive huff, but then moved his attention to
Toni's table. "I feel sorry for the kid." He waved his arm at Paul
and through a waitress as she stepped by. "It's not his fault he's being
manipulated to use whatever supernatural skill he possesses on missy-teenster
over there."




"Yes, that's true, dear, but the point is-"




"Just look at him; he looks like a poster-boy for Old
Navy," Martin went on, swinging his other arm through an old man's head as
he staggered back from the restroom. The man lost his step and bounced off the
archway on his way back into the bar while Martin studied Paul. "He must
be a sorcerer or something special for the seer-ghost to use him like that. The
poor schmuck is so damn screwed, and totally adorable."




"I can see where 'is slightly regal features can
attract a person such as yerself, bein' o' the sexual nature y'are, dear; 'is
long black hair, and oh my, that jaw. Why 'e could slice bread with that
jaw-line," Ruth said, and then yelped when one of the waiters walked right
through her back and out her chest, a tray laden with food barely moved in his
outstretched hand.




"Goodness, you'd think I would be used t'that by
now," Ruth said, her hand halfway inside her own chest. "This century
is awfully crowded, it is. We 'ad many a cold dark corner in the castles t'observe
our wards." Ruth sighed. "Them were the days. An' all them gowns,
robes, powdered wigs, an'-"



"Okay, cut the reminiscing rant—how are we going to
stop this?" Martin asked, tapping a foot in and out of the floor.










"Godrestyersoul, dear. Don't go gettin' all huffy on me
now, will ya. I know it's hard bein' tied t'an old lady like me. But I do come
with some healthy experience, that is, an' I'd be thinkin' ya'd be needin' it
soon enough if y'think y'are goin' t'exorcise that demon o' a ghost out o'that
poor boy's body."





"You know we can't stop Bartholomew when he's inside a
host, and I was thinking-"




"I don't mean t'interrupt, dear, but Sara's workin'
that knife, an' she ain't lookin' like she's gonna cut 'er salad with it. Shall
we at least attempt another intervention?"




"Honey, she's screaming like this year's second place
prom queen. Poor thing, our attempts usually
end badly."




Paul squawked, "Oh God! Oh no!" eyes locked on
Sara, both hands squeezing his own throat.




Toni was so absorbed with her date's reaction to her
sister's antics that she just held her breath and watched, but then he started
choking. "Paul, are you okay?" Toni reached across the table, totally
ignoring Sara's cries for help.




Paul jerked his eyes toward Toni. He tried to smile but his
eyes did a little jiggle and they were back on Sara. He pointed to his throat
and then grabbed Toni's hands. "Help me! I can't stop!"



Toni got up and ran around the table.




"God 'elp'em, we need t'try, Martin! Which one will y'be
takin', dear?"




"I'll take the idiot with the knife," Martin said,
and leapt at Sara's table, grabbed for the knife, and fell through the stubby
boy, and Sara, and the dishes full of food, then the table, until he hit the
floor underneath and lodged himself half-in and half-out of the room below.




"I told you!" Martin glared at Ruth as she bounced
off Paul and evaporated.




"Yes, well, that y'did, dear, but we 'ad t'try," Ruth's
voice echoed as she reformed.




Paul choked out, "No!"




Several things happened at once.




Behind Toni, Sara lost her fight with the steak knife—it sliced
through her throat—and blood squirted from her jugular all over the stout guy,
and then she promptly fell face first into her salad. Paul let out an anguished
cry, grabbed his throat, jumped out of his chair, and staggered back several
steps, choking.




The room sounded like one big gasp.




Toni pounded on Paul's back.




Sara's date jumped up, knocked over his chair, and fumbled
back a few feet, wiping blood from his face and chest. He lost his footing in
the mess on the floor, passed through Ruth, and landed in an ass-cracking fall
at her feet.




At the same time, the knife hit the floor and slid a bloody
trail a few feet before it tripped a waitress. She sent a tray laden with food
and drinks flying. Two patrons in the path of the tray yelped, slid into each
other, and began to do what looked like an inebriated tango as they tried to
stay afoot.




Toni put her hands around Paul's torso and began to
administer the Heimlich maneuver. "Will everyone calm down? You're not
helping! Someone call an ambulance. He can't breathe!" Toni shouted, face
against Paul's back as she made a two handed fist and squeezed his torso.




Ruth steadied herself, stepped into the stout guy's stomach,
and then leaned under the table as the whole bar fell into uncontrollable chaos
around her. Several patrons ran through her buttocks on the way to the front
door and her rear-end looked like a fluttering sail in the wind. She asked,
"Will y'be needin' some help, Martin?"




Martin growled at her and wiggled out of the floor. He
floated up from under the table about the time a fragmented puff of smoke
started to rise from Sara.




"Oh dear, I'm afraid we'll 'ave some explainin' t'do,
Godrest'ersoul," Ruth whined, stepping through the table to stand next to
the smoke forming into a cloud of mottled pink and white, looking an awful lot
like Sara.




"What the hell? Where am I?" Sara's ghostly image
croaked. "Is that me in my salad?"




"Yes, dear, I'm afraid so," Ruth answered.




"Sara, help me, dammit!" Toni shouted from across
the room as she tried to maneuver Paul around so she could see her sister.




"Help you?" Sara spat, floating over her dead
body. "I'm the one with her face in her salad. You idiot! Let go of the
stud-muffin and get your ass over here!"




"I'm afraid she can't 'ear ya, dear."




Toni caught sight of her sister and screamed, "Ohmigod!
Sara! That's my sister!"




Paul grabbed Toni's shoulder, gagged, and choked out,
"I'm so sorry."




"Great! Just great!" Martin spat.
"Bartholomew did it again. Let's hope incredibly noisy and obnoxiously
vain over here can at least give us some information about Old-Navy-Boy over
there." His finger pointed from Sara to Paul.




Martin whipped to one side as Toni ran past, Paul following
like a well behaved marionette.




"Is that blood on my neck?" Sara shrieked, swiping
her hand through the cadaver's throat.




"We 'ave a bit o' bad news, dear," Ruth said,
patting the tips of her fingers through Sara's shoulder.




"You've friggin' got to be kidding me. I'm dead? Dead
as in… freakin' dead? This has got to be a nightmare!" Sara lunged for her
flaccid body and fell right through it.




"Oh my, now we 'ave t'get 'er out o' the cellar, we
do. Come along, Martin," Ruth said, taking a nosedive into the floor.




Martin tapped his foot in and out of the floor, watching the
chaos as lookey-loos congregated around the table.




Several teens, cell phones filming, were carrying on frantic
conversations as Ruth burst through the floor with a screaming Sara in tow.




Sara erratically hovered over the table and glared at her
sister. Toni stood beside Sara's body, with her hands over her mouth, face horror
stricken, head moving back and forth.




"Give me a good shake," Sara said. "Just
shake me, Toni! I know if you shake me I'll come back to life."




Toni wrapped her hands around her stomach and rocked as
tears streamed down her cheeks. She gagged, retched, and then vomited all over
the table in front of her sister's body.




Sara's fists streaked through Toni's torso several times as
she shrieked, "Uck! Eck! She pukes? She F'n upchucks? That's just nasty!
Now I not only have Bleu cheese salad dressing all over my face and a gaping
hole in my neck, but puke in my hair!" She tried to grab a handful of
Toni's red curls but only made them flutter like leaves in a soft breeze.




Working up some attitude, Sara slapped her hands into her
hips and shook her butt; fists embed in her pelvic bone. "Just kick
me—slap me—do something to get my friggin' heart beating again! I need a damn
shower!"




Paul tried to hand Toni a napkin and guide her away from the
table.




Sara shoved her nose halfway into Paul's face.
"Oh-no-you-don't!" She turned on her sister. "Stop your friggin'
blubbering, grab the napkin, and wipe that shit off my face; I've about had it
with you!"

Sara kicked her smoky foot through Toni and ended up floating
horizontally in front of her.




"Don't you think we should say something to her?"
Martin asked.




"Godbless'er, I think we should let 'er carry on a bit,
love," Ruth said from the ceiling above the table. "Won't be long, it
won't. They should be draggin' 'er carcass out o' 'ere soon."




A chubby man in a white apron ushered patrons out of the
dining area and into the bar as the sound of sirens filled the air. Waiters and
waitresses took some of them out the front door as an ambulance and police cars
pulled to the curb.




Martin joined Ruth. "She's really quite amusing."




"That's a wee-bit cruel, dear," Ruth sighed.




"Is that it?" Sara said. "I just let them
take my bloody, puke covered body away?" She waved her hand dramatically
and it passed through Paul's head. "I think not!"




"Well, might I suggest we follow Paul; that's the young
man with yer sister? He's possessed by Bartholomew, who made y'cut yerself, 'e
did. And it wouldn't 'urt us t'deliberate on what we can do t'keep 'im from
killin' anyone else. Namely yer sister, since she seems t'be his person o'
interest. So I guess y'll be taggin' along, dear?"




"What do you mean, he killed me? How's that possible?
No one seems to… if I remember… OH my GOD, I slit my own throat!" Sara
gagged and coughed up a cloud of ectoplasmic goo.




Martin, who had been hovering and listening, suddenly jumped
for Paul and of course made contact with nothing but the floor. He leered at
Paul. "Come on out you bastard, and fight like a ghost!"




Several police officers, and two EMTs pushing a stretcher,
entered the front door and headed for Sara's body.




"Can't we do something!?" Sara squeaked.




"I'm afraid not, dear. But more important we should
discuss 'ow y'met that boy standing with yer sister, we should," Ruth
suggested.




"But…but," Sara started.




"Come on, dear, we've got some questions fer ya, we
do." Ruth ushered Martin and a reluctant Sara through the wall and into
the alley.




"This sucks! What the hell? I need my lip gloss—I lost
my tan—my skin is friggin' gray-ass smoky as shit… and… and there has to be a
better place than this." Sara glared at the ambulance near the end of the
alley.




"Fer all intents and purposes, y'killed yerself an'
that gets y' a ticket into limbo fer the moment, it does. But eventually y'll
move on because Bartholomew didn't make y'mur... well never mind, dear. Suffice
it t'say, 'e didn't make y'do anything that would keep y' 'ere fer an eternity
if y'wish t'move on after y'pay yer dues."




"Back it up and hit rewind, old lady. What dues? When
will I move on?—'cause you look like you've been here since the flood."
Sara frowned at Ruth. 




Ruth shot Martin a look of warning and addressed Sara.
"Well, as fer that, I'm from another century an' way back then I committed
a horrendous deed, I did. An', well, even though Bartholomew—'e's the ghost who
assisted in yer demise, dear—orchestrated it; I'm the one that… never mind; I'm
afraid I'm 'ere fer an eternity unless I can stop Bartholomew an' send 'im on t'
a more acceptable place, I am. Martin is sailin' the same ship, but you-"




"I don't give a rat's ass what Martin did! I want to
know what I have to do to get out of here!" Sara glared at Martin, tossing
a thumb in Ruth's direction. "What's up? She isn't spelling it out."




"You'll pass on, sooner or later, but I'm a vampire,
honey. Vampires aren't awarded a get out of purgatory ticket either, even
though it wasn't my fault," Martin said, all huffy-like. "Bartholomew
led me to the immortal that…well shit—Ruth and I hooked up because neither of
us can move on unless we find-"




"Martin!" Ruth warned.




But Sara wasn't listening. "Go on! Vampire my butt! I'm
not as stupid as I look." She frowned at Martin.




Ruth clucked her tongue. Martin glared at Ruth and then
addressed Sara. "Look, Bartholomew jumped inside my body, just like he did
with Paul, and made me meet this guy at 'Alternatives', maybe you know the
place? A bar in downtown Grand Rapids? No, from the looks of you, probably not.
Anyway, I met the guy as instructed, and the next thing I knew I was at his
apartment and he was sucking on my neck instead of my-"




"Yes, well, that's enough, dear," Ruth
interrupted. "No need t'get all graphic."




"Vampires don't die." Sara said, her hand inside
her hip. "You are not a vamp."




"Oh, and the dead chick turning more transparent by the second,
knows this how?" Martin flashed fangs.



"You probably bought those at Walgreens," Sara
said. "How'd you really die?"




"Well… that's a bit o' a sore subject, dear, it seems
Martin, Godbless'isplasmaabhorrin'soul-"




"So what!" Martin immediately got defensive.
"So I couldn't suck blood! That's no crime! Is that my fault? Damn right
it's not! I just didn't have the stomach for it!"




"That's such bull!" Sara tried to flip her hair
over her shoulder, but her hand passed through. "I mean, if you really
were a vampire you could have been-"




"What? A blood-sucker for an eternity? Over my dead
body!" Martin was in a dither.




"Well, it seems so, doesn't it, dear," Ruth said, guiding
them toward the street.




"Yeah, right, so, like what? Being a ghost doesn't bite
the big one?" Sara asked, following Ruth, Martin beside her. "Boy,
you got screwed."




Martin paused, tossed his hand in the air and said, "Oh
sweetie, I wish. At least I would have gone down with his-"




"Blessyerlicentioussoul, that's enough, dear!"
Ruth clucked.
 

Dead Girls Never Shut Up

Toni's grandmother is a psychopath. Her sister is a
ghost. Her boyfriend is possessed. And she has no idea who she is.








Being a teenage girl is
tough enough without a summer vacation full of necromancers and ghosts. And
things get worse when Toni's sister, Sara, dies and instead of walking into the
light, stomps directly away from it, totally pissed because she didn't die in
her skinny jeans. That's when Sara finds out that a seer ghost is out to
possess Tony, and Granny has a gift for talking to dead people.




Granny's not going to be the
last necromancer in the family, but with the death of her promiscuous granddaughter,
Sara, her only option is Toni. Sara's not having any of it, especially since
the guy Granny has enlisted to help is the same guy that assisted in Sara's demise.
But protecting her living twin is really complicating all Sara's ghostly fun on
the other side!




Can death stop a twin? Maybe not, but Granny knows Dead Girls Never Shut Up.







Dead Girls will be available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in paperback, Nook, and Kindle in a couple of weeks.



Check out the first two chapters:







Chapter One




"I'm not leaving with these guys," Toni said, as
she followed her twin sister Sara into Wright's Last Chance Saloon, a family
sports bar and local college hangout.




"Give it a freakin' rest! We're only meeting them for
lunch. Order a burger—bite and nod—how hard is that?"




"If this goes south," Toni said, "you'll be a
flash of oven-baked butt cheeks when I kick you into the next state!" Why
did I let myself get dragged into this idea?




"Look," Sara backhanded hair the color of beach
sand over her shoulder, "boys are basically Neanderthals and only think
about two things: sex and food. So just work those glossy lips; smile and pout.
Oh, yeah, bat your eyes and flip your hair a lot. Guys love that."




Toni pulled nervously at a tendril of curls. "Well, at
least we don't look like twins."




Sara's chestnut eyes were already scanning the dining area. "Chill,
they won't even see us together, or see
each other. I've got a plan."




"I can't wait to hear it," Toni mumbled.




Pulling a book and a rose from her backpack, Sara said,
"We'll get separate tables, preferably on either side of the room, and sit
facing each other so they have to sit
with their backs to each other. Oh, and if my guy's a total loser, I'll signal
under the table." Sara tilted her head, lips smirking, and her finger pointing
at the restroom sign. "That's when you grab your cell phone, excuse
yourself and call me from the bathroom. I'll tell the looser I have some big
emergency at home, rush out and call you
from the car. It's perfect, right?"




It's pathetic. "Only if you promise the next
time the gray matter you call your brain comes up with something as stupid as
this you'll leave me out of it." Christ, I want no part of dating,
anyway, and now I have to make small talk with someone who thinks I was surfing
the Net for a love life.




"Come on! You know we'll laugh about this later."
Sara giggled and handed Toni the book. "Put this on the corner of your
table. That's how he knows you're the one he's looking for."




While Sara flipped her hair and strutted away, Toni ran a hand
over the shirt she'd borrowed. Maybe I'll order something with tomato sauce
on it. 




As she put the book on the corner of her table and sat down,
Toni thought, sure, she gets the rose; I
get J. D. Salinger. Perfect. She glanced at Sara who was already getting
looks from the guys in the room. I hope her date's a toad!




Toni's table was close to the front door, and every time a
guy—no matter what age—walked in alone, she held her breath, heart beating like
mad, and then let it out slowly as they headed to the bar in the back where all
the noise came from... until he walked in and she forgot to breathe. He stood
by the entrance with a lopsided grin and sparkling eyes scanning the room. His
jet-black hair brushed the shoulders of his FSU hoodie and his Levi's were so
tight they made her blush. When he nervously reached up under the hem of his hoodie,
she caught a glimpse of a tight tummy and felt a tingly wave roll in her lower
stomach.




His eyes met Sara's hopeful ones, and Toni almost moaned.
Heart hammering in her chest, she was on the verge of a panic attack when he smiled
briefly at Sara and then resumed his scan of the restaurant.



Mouth spread in a wide grin, he tilted his head toward Toni,
and sauntered toward the table.



I am so gonna hurl.
Her stomach clenched.




The room started spinning as he picked up the book and fanned
the pages. Breathe, idiot! You're
hyperventilating!




"You must be Toni, and I'm so glad you're a girl. Your
name on the email freaked me a little." He laughed, and it was so perfect
the corner of Toni's mouth twitched.




"It's actually short for Antoinette. I was named after
my grandmother." 




He stared at her and a smile broadened his face.



Crap,
she thought, I bet he's counting
freckles.



"You don't look like an Antoinette, not with all that
red hair and those freckles," he teased, and slid into the chair on the
other side of the table.




The smile on her face faltered. This is it; here comes
the polite conversation followed by the 'I'll call you some time'.




"Umm, well, I..." she stammered, eyes wandering to
Sara's table. Her sister was flipping a menu at a waitress while managing to
look down her nose at a squatty guy with a spiky brown crew cut who seemed to
be placing an order. Even sitting the boy looked at least four inches shorter
than Sara.

Toni swallowed a panicky giggle when her own date cleared
his throat. She whipped her head back in his direction, feeling heat on her
cheeks. 'I got my name from my mom's side of the family—Italian—my genes from
Dad's Irish side." Great—beet red cheeks fighting tawny freckles for
attention under a curtain of carrot red curls—color me Schizo-Tomato-Head.




"Did you get those killer green eyes from your
dad?" he asked with a grin.




Toni mentally
ranted, He's at least twenty-one—I'm not even eighteen—and he's gorgeous. "Yep,
sure did, and your name is?" 




"Oh, sorry, you're blushing and it's so damned cute
that I lost myself for a minute there. I'm Paul." He leaned in, offering
his hand. His touch made her whole body vibrate.




"It's nice to meet you, Paul." Did he say cute?
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Stout Guy talking a mile a minute with
way too much finger quoting. Sara was frantically fanning her hand under the
table, pointing over her shoulder in the direction of the restroom with the
other.




Toni ignored her. "So I take it you go to Ferris State?"
She pointed at the logo on the front of the hoodie.




"Yep, taking my final courses, but live with my parents
near Reed City High School."



"I'm going to be a senior at Reed City in the fall."
Okay, now that was stupid. It screamed jail-bait—I'm such an idiot.




The waitress walked up with a smile and a pen. Toni wanted
to kiss her until she opened her mouth.



"Would you like something from the bar?" The woman
made it very clear that she was asking Paul.



"I'll have a Coke; how about you, Toni?" 




Could I get any redder? "Coke's good," Toni
squeaked.




Paul laughed.




"Do you know what you want to eat?" the waitress
asked, a snide grin on her face.



"Just got here. Can you get the drinks and let us check
out the menu?" Paul turned to Toni. "Unless you know what you
want?"




"Umm, no… I… well…whatever you decide," Toni said.
Where the hell is my brain? She hid behind her menu.




"Tonight, it's all the fish you can eat. Comes with
French fries and coleslaw for five-ninety-nine," the woman said over her
shoulder as she walked away.




Burrowing further into the menu, Toni took long, deep
breaths. Fish, come on—that's so not going to happen.




"So, do you always pick up guys online?"




There it is; the question I was hoping I didn't have to
answer. "Nope, first time. You?"




Toni peeked around her menu at Sara. A waitress was setting
plates of food on the table. Her sister looked a bit pissed. Oh yeah! Maybe
she'll think twice about surfing the Internet and including me next time.




"A friend of mine talked me into it," Paul was saying.
"I don't do the whole pick-up thing very well." It was his turn to
hide behind the menu.




Toni's jaw dropped. "You're kidding, right?"




"I'm dying here." He peeked around the menu.
"My palms are breaking out in a sweat. You're cute, and well…"




M-freakin'-G! He just sooo didn't-say I was cute! "Excuse
me?" she squawked.




Paul lowered his menu and looked her right in the eyes.
"Now you're kidding, right?"




"Well… um... I… No! I mean, look at you!" Her eyes
darted toward Sara. This time Paul's eyes followed.




The squatty guy was about to shove way too many French fries
into her sister's mouth. Sara opened her mouth wide while she hooded angry eyes
at Toni.




"She doesn't look happy," Paul said. "You know
her?"




Toni was determined to make her sister regret she'd ever
thought this brainy scheme up in the first place. "Um, not really, so anyway,
what do you like to do when you're not on the Internet surfing for dates?"
She grinned at him and he grinned back.




Paul started to answer, but the waitress walked up with
their drinks, and Toni was able to steal another glance at Sara. The squatty
guy had moved his chair to get a better view of the back bar area where several
large screen televisions were blaring sports events. Sara blatantly used her
hand to mimic slicing her throat, and with curled back lips, jerked a thumb
toward the restroom. Squatty guy didn't even notice.




The waitress placed Toni's soda on the table. "Ready to
order?"




Toni looked up at the woman. "I'll have the grilled chicken
sandwich with fries." With a side glance at her sister, she added, "and
a bottle of ketchup."




The waitress wrote down the order and turned to Paul.




Paul glanced apprehensively at Sara from behind his menu,
shook his head, mumbled something to himself, then said, "You can bring me
a burger with everything on it, and some fries." He laid his menu on the
corner of the table next to the Salinger book.




The waitress picked up the menu, plucked Toni's from her
hand as she turned on her heels, and headed for the grill. As she got closer to
the bar, Toni noticed the waitress pause, brush her chest, look around, shake
her head, and then proceed to the bar.




That was weird.




Paul dragged Toni back into their conversation. "I'm a
movie freak; especially horror movies. What about you?" He looked at her
with anticipation through killer, blue-gray eyes.




"I like books, but not really into horror. Do you read
much?" Toni blurted. Ohmigod, that was so lame. Do you read much? Could
I work any harder at sounding like a geek-freak? I really need to start
thinking before I open my mouth.




"Actually I do, occasionally," he said with a coy
smile. "I'm into fantasy— big fantasy, like Tolkien, or A Game of
Thrones, Eragon—The Inheritance cycle? Have you read any of them?"




Toni plastered on a smile. Fantasy—just great—and I read
mostly non-fiction. "No, I haven't."



As the conversation went on, Toni realized they were
actually making small talk and it wasn't going half bad. She put a real smile
on her face and started to mention that the waitress was on her way over with
their food order, but Paul was no longer looking at her, he was intently
focused on her sister's side of the room with his face dressed out in a
grimace. 




Toni's eyes followed his gaze and landed right on Sara. Oh
great! Now she's swinging her steak knife around! The little attention whore! Toni sighed and caught the gaze of a dark
haired girl who'd been in her speech glass last year. As the girl walked toward
the exit, Toni felt something flutter deep in her stomach. The dark haired girl
shared a smile before stepping through the door to leave, and when Toni turned
back to Paul, the flutter intensified, and she realized she'd been holding her
breath. What the heck is wrong with me? It's like I'm on post-pubescent
overdrive.




Paul mumbled as if he were arguing with himself, his eyes in
deep concentration, mouth chewing frantically on his French fries.




A yelp broke Toni's thoughts.




Sara, looking wide eyed, held the knife with both hands and
pushed it from her face. She tucked her chin, and, playing quite the actress, swung
the steak knife in a flurry of arcs and stabs, jerked it to her throat and
feigned a struggle while emanating guttural squeals.




Her date seemed to be more interested in the football game
broadcasting from a wide screen mounted on the wall over the bar. He briefly
grinned at Sara, crammed a fist full of fries in his mouth, and a victory cry
jerked his attention back to the bar.




Paul was totally
zoned in on Sara. But with both hands placed on his cheeks he was literally
fighting with himself to turn back toward Toni. It was as though Paul was play
acting with Sara.

I'm gonna kill my sister when we get home!







~~~~




Neither Paul nor
Toni could see the two ghostly apparitions standing by the entrance to the bar.















Chapter Two






One of the ghosts, an old woman, looked to be in her
sixties, dressed in early sixteenth century maid's clothing. Her long, rough
cotton dress, buttoned primly all the way up to her neck and accentuated a
round face and flashing green eyes. A drab brown apron cinched her generous
waist and fell to her feet over brown leather ankle boots that looked as old as
the lines on her face. Her gray hair was pulled back in a bun and partially
secured by a small, cream-colored cotton cap.




The other ghost was in his twenties with slicked back blond
hair. One long strand flopped in front of blue eyes that were intensely focused
on a table by the door. Pale, and lanky, he was naked except for skin tight underwear
which made it clear he was not from the sixteenth century.




"Are y'watchin' this, Martin?" Ruth, the older
ghost, asked, gesturing to Paul. "The boy's lookin' at 'er, 'e is. Seems
'e's arguing with 'imself. And that girl, Sara? Why, I'd say she's fightin' that
knife, she is. It doesn't bode well, dear."




Martin, the blond haired ghost, rolled his translucent eyes.
"Oh please, the bling-chick looks like she's jerking her date
around." Martin's eyes seemed to float out of his head before being pulled
back by tendrils of smoke. "Will you look at that hottie bending over the
table by the window? If I wasn't dead, honey, I'd be all over him."




"Godrestyerunsavorysoul, do try t' stay focused on the
young man in question."




Martin and Ruth exchanged a polite but prickly look.




"I'm always focused, Ruth." Martin zeroed in on
the hottie again.




"Well, of course y'are, dear." She patted his arm.




"He leans over that table one more time I'm doing a
walk-through."




"Blessyeranimalurges, there's no time fer yer unsavory amusements;
calamity is presentin' itself, Martin. Y'need not be causin' a kerfuffle of our
own, dear."



"Shame, I could wear him like a glove."



Ruth patted Martin's arm again. "Yes, well put it out o'yer
mind, dear. Paul's studyin' 'er with the glare o'a research scientist while
masticating those fried sticks, an 'is eyes're doin' that flashin' thing we've
seen many-a-time with other victims o' possession, they are. I believe we're
about t'lose Sara, Martin."




Martin blew an evasive huff, but then moved his attention to
Toni's table. "I feel sorry for the kid." He waved his arm at Paul
and through a waitress as she stepped by. "It's not his fault he's being
manipulated to use whatever supernatural skill he possesses on missy-teenster
over there."




"Yes, that's true, dear, but the point is-"




"Just look at him; he looks like a poster-boy for Old
Navy," Martin went on, swinging his other arm through an old man's head as
he staggered back from the restroom. The man lost his step and bounced off the
archway on his way back into the bar while Martin studied Paul. "He must
be a sorcerer or something special for the seer-ghost to use him like that. The
poor schmuck is so damn screwed, and totally adorable."




"I can see where 'is slightly regal features can
attract a person such as yerself, bein' o' the sexual nature y'are, dear; 'is
long black hair, and oh my, that jaw. Why 'e could slice bread with that
jaw-line," Ruth said, and then yelped when one of the waiters walked right
through her back and out her chest, a tray laden with food barely moved in his
outstretched hand.




"Goodness, you'd think I would be used t'that by
now," Ruth said, her hand halfway inside her own chest. "This century
is awfully crowded, it is. We 'ad many a cold dark corner in the castles t'observe
our wards." Ruth sighed. "Them were the days. An' all them gowns,
robes, powdered wigs, an'-"



"Okay, cut the reminiscing rant—how are we going to
stop this?" Martin asked, tapping a foot in and out of the floor.










"Godrestyersoul, dear. Don't go gettin' all huffy on me
now, will ya. I know it's hard bein' tied t'an old lady like me. But I do come
with some healthy experience, that is, an' I'd be thinkin' ya'd be needin' it
soon enough if y'think y'are goin' t'exorcise that demon o' a ghost out o'that
poor boy's body."





"You know we can't stop Bartholomew when he's inside a
host, and I was thinking-"




"I don't mean t'interrupt, dear, but Sara's workin'
that knife, an' she ain't lookin' like she's gonna cut 'er salad with it. Shall
we at least attempt another intervention?"




"Honey, she's screaming like this year's second place
prom queen. Poor thing, our attempts usually
end badly."




Paul squawked, "Oh God! Oh no!" eyes locked on
Sara, both hands squeezing his own throat.




Toni was so absorbed with her date's reaction to her
sister's antics that she just held her breath and watched, but then he started
choking. "Paul, are you okay?" Toni reached across the table, totally
ignoring Sara's cries for help.




Paul jerked his eyes toward Toni. He tried to smile but his
eyes did a little jiggle and they were back on Sara. He pointed to his throat
and then grabbed Toni's hands. "Help me! I can't stop!"



Toni got up and ran around the table.




"God 'elp'em, we need t'try, Martin! Which one will y'be
takin', dear?"




"I'll take the idiot with the knife," Martin said,
and leapt at Sara's table, grabbed for the knife, and fell through the stubby
boy, and Sara, and the dishes full of food, then the table, until he hit the
floor underneath and lodged himself half-in and half-out of the room below.




"I told you!" Martin glared at Ruth as she bounced
off Paul and evaporated.




"Yes, well, that y'did, dear, but we 'ad t'try," Ruth's
voice echoed as she reformed.




Paul choked out, "No!"




Several things happened at once.




Behind Toni, Sara lost her fight with the steak knife—it sliced
through her throat—and blood squirted from her jugular all over the stout guy,
and then she promptly fell face first into her salad. Paul let out an anguished
cry, grabbed his throat, jumped out of his chair, and staggered back several
steps, choking.




The room sounded like one big gasp.




Toni pounded on Paul's back.




Sara's date jumped up, knocked over his chair, and fumbled
back a few feet, wiping blood from his face and chest. He lost his footing in
the mess on the floor, passed through Ruth, and landed in an ass-cracking fall
at her feet.




At the same time, the knife hit the floor and slid a bloody
trail a few feet before it tripped a waitress. She sent a tray laden with food
and drinks flying. Two patrons in the path of the tray yelped, slid into each
other, and began to do what looked like an inebriated tango as they tried to
stay afoot.




Toni put her hands around Paul's torso and began to
administer the Heimlich maneuver. "Will everyone calm down? You're not
helping! Someone call an ambulance. He can't breathe!" Toni shouted, face
against Paul's back as she made a two handed fist and squeezed his torso.




Ruth steadied herself, stepped into the stout guy's stomach,
and then leaned under the table as the whole bar fell into uncontrollable chaos
around her. Several patrons ran through her buttocks on the way to the front
door and her rear-end looked like a fluttering sail in the wind. She asked,
"Will y'be needin' some help, Martin?"




Martin growled at her and wiggled out of the floor. He
floated up from under the table about the time a fragmented puff of smoke
started to rise from Sara.




"Oh dear, I'm afraid we'll 'ave some explainin' t'do,
Godrest'ersoul," Ruth whined, stepping through the table to stand next to
the smoke forming into a cloud of mottled pink and white, looking an awful lot
like Sara.




"What the hell? Where am I?" Sara's ghostly image
croaked. "Is that me in my salad?"




"Yes, dear, I'm afraid so," Ruth answered.




"Sara, help me, dammit!" Toni shouted from across
the room as she tried to maneuver Paul around so she could see her sister.




"Help you?" Sara spat, floating over her dead
body. "I'm the one with her face in her salad. You idiot! Let go of the
stud-muffin and get your ass over here!"




"I'm afraid she can't 'ear ya, dear."




Toni caught sight of her sister and screamed, "Ohmigod!
Sara! That's my sister!"




Paul grabbed Toni's shoulder, gagged, and choked out,
"I'm so sorry."




"Great! Just great!" Martin spat.
"Bartholomew did it again. Let's hope incredibly noisy and obnoxiously
vain over here can at least give us some information about Old-Navy-Boy over
there." His finger pointed from Sara to Paul.




Martin whipped to one side as Toni ran past, Paul following
like a well behaved marionette.




"Is that blood on my neck?" Sara shrieked, swiping
her hand through the cadaver's throat.




"We 'ave a bit o' bad news, dear," Ruth said,
patting the tips of her fingers through Sara's shoulder.




"You've friggin' got to be kidding me. I'm dead? Dead
as in… freakin' dead? This has got to be a nightmare!" Sara lunged for her
flaccid body and fell right through it.




"Oh my, now we 'ave t'get 'er out o' the cellar, we
do. Come along, Martin," Ruth said, taking a nosedive into the floor.




Martin tapped his foot in and out of the floor, watching the
chaos as lookey-loos congregated around the table.




Several teens, cell phones filming, were carrying on frantic
conversations as Ruth burst through the floor with a screaming Sara in tow.




Sara erratically hovered over the table and glared at her
sister. Toni stood beside Sara's body, with her hands over her mouth, face horror
stricken, head moving back and forth.




"Give me a good shake," Sara said. "Just
shake me, Toni! I know if you shake me I'll come back to life."




Toni wrapped her hands around her stomach and rocked as
tears streamed down her cheeks. She gagged, retched, and then vomited all over
the table in front of her sister's body.




Sara's fists streaked through Toni's torso several times as
she shrieked, "Uck! Eck! She pukes? She F'n upchucks? That's just nasty!
Now I not only have Bleu cheese salad dressing all over my face and a gaping
hole in my neck, but puke in my hair!" She tried to grab a handful of
Toni's red curls but only made them flutter like leaves in a soft breeze.




Working up some attitude, Sara slapped her hands into her
hips and shook her butt; fists embed in her pelvic bone. "Just kick
me—slap me—do something to get my friggin' heart beating again! I need a damn
shower!"




Paul tried to hand Toni a napkin and guide her away from the
table.




Sara shoved her nose halfway into Paul's face.
"Oh-no-you-don't!" She turned on her sister. "Stop your friggin'
blubbering, grab the napkin, and wipe that shit off my face; I've about had it
with you!"

Sara kicked her smoky foot through Toni and ended up floating
horizontally in front of her.




"Don't you think we should say something to her?"
Martin asked.




"Godbless'er, I think we should let 'er carry on a bit,
love," Ruth said from the ceiling above the table. "Won't be long, it
won't. They should be draggin' 'er carcass out o' 'ere soon."




A chubby man in a white apron ushered patrons out of the
dining area and into the bar as the sound of sirens filled the air. Waiters and
waitresses took some of them out the front door as an ambulance and police cars
pulled to the curb.




Martin joined Ruth. "She's really quite amusing."




"That's a wee-bit cruel, dear," Ruth sighed.




"Is that it?" Sara said. "I just let them
take my bloody, puke covered body away?" She waved her hand dramatically
and it passed through Paul's head. "I think not!"




"Well, might I suggest we follow Paul; that's the young
man with yer sister? He's possessed by Bartholomew, who made y'cut yerself, 'e
did. And it wouldn't 'urt us t'deliberate on what we can do t'keep 'im from
killin' anyone else. Namely yer sister, since she seems t'be his person o'
interest. So I guess y'll be taggin' along, dear?"




"What do you mean, he killed me? How's that possible?
No one seems to… if I remember… OH my GOD, I slit my own throat!" Sara
gagged and coughed up a cloud of ectoplasmic goo.




Martin, who had been hovering and listening, suddenly jumped
for Paul and of course made contact with nothing but the floor. He leered at
Paul. "Come on out you bastard, and fight like a ghost!"




Several police officers, and two EMTs pushing a stretcher,
entered the front door and headed for Sara's body.




"Can't we do something!?" Sara squeaked.




"I'm afraid not, dear. But more important we should
discuss 'ow y'met that boy standing with yer sister, we should," Ruth
suggested.




"But…but," Sara started.




"Come on, dear, we've got some questions fer ya, we
do." Ruth ushered Martin and a reluctant Sara through the wall and into
the alley.




"This sucks! What the hell? I need my lip gloss—I lost
my tan—my skin is friggin' gray-ass smoky as shit… and… and there has to be a
better place than this." Sara glared at the ambulance near the end of the
alley.




"Fer all intents and purposes, y'killed yerself an'
that gets y' a ticket into limbo fer the moment, it does. But eventually y'll
move on because Bartholomew didn't make y'mur... well never mind, dear. Suffice
it t'say, 'e didn't make y'do anything that would keep y' 'ere fer an eternity
if y'wish t'move on after y'pay yer dues."




"Back it up and hit rewind, old lady. What dues? When
will I move on?—'cause you look like you've been here since the flood."
Sara frowned at Ruth. 




Ruth shot Martin a look of warning and addressed Sara.
"Well, as fer that, I'm from another century an' way back then I committed
a horrendous deed, I did. An', well, even though Bartholomew—'e's the ghost who
assisted in yer demise, dear—orchestrated it; I'm the one that… never mind; I'm
afraid I'm 'ere fer an eternity unless I can stop Bartholomew an' send 'im on t'
a more acceptable place, I am. Martin is sailin' the same ship, but you-"




"I don't give a rat's ass what Martin did! I want to
know what I have to do to get out of here!" Sara glared at Martin, tossing
a thumb in Ruth's direction. "What's up? She isn't spelling it out."




"You'll pass on, sooner or later, but I'm a vampire,
honey. Vampires aren't awarded a get out of purgatory ticket either, even
though it wasn't my fault," Martin said, all huffy-like. "Bartholomew
led me to the immortal that…well shit—Ruth and I hooked up because neither of
us can move on unless we find-"




"Martin!" Ruth warned.




But Sara wasn't listening. "Go on! Vampire my butt! I'm
not as stupid as I look." She frowned at Martin.




Ruth clucked her tongue. Martin glared at Ruth and then
addressed Sara. "Look, Bartholomew jumped inside my body, just like he did
with Paul, and made me meet this guy at 'Alternatives', maybe you know the
place? A bar in downtown Grand Rapids? No, from the looks of you, probably not.
Anyway, I met the guy as instructed, and the next thing I knew I was at his
apartment and he was sucking on my neck instead of my-"




"Yes, well, that's enough, dear," Ruth
interrupted. "No need t'get all graphic."




"Vampires don't die." Sara said, her hand inside
her hip. "You are not a vamp."




"Oh, and the dead chick turning more transparent by the second,
knows this how?" Martin flashed fangs.



"You probably bought those at Walgreens," Sara
said. "How'd you really die?"




"Well… that's a bit o' a sore subject, dear, it seems
Martin, Godbless'isplasmaabhorrin'soul-"




"So what!" Martin immediately got defensive.
"So I couldn't suck blood! That's no crime! Is that my fault? Damn right
it's not! I just didn't have the stomach for it!"




"That's such bull!" Sara tried to flip her hair
over her shoulder, but her hand passed through. "I mean, if you really
were a vampire you could have been-"




"What? A blood-sucker for an eternity? Over my dead
body!" Martin was in a dither.




"Well, it seems so, doesn't it, dear," Ruth said, guiding
them toward the street.




"Yeah, right, so, like what? Being a ghost doesn't bite
the big one?" Sara asked, following Ruth, Martin beside her. "Boy,
you got screwed."




Martin paused, tossed his hand in the air and said, "Oh
sweetie, I wish. At least I would have gone down with his-"




"Blessyerlicentioussoul, that's enough, dear!"
Ruth clucked.
 

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEET'S BLOG IT!

Welcome to the Meet the Characters Blogfest!

Readers, get ready for a whole month of some of the most interesting, hottest, attention grabbing characters in today's YA, NA, Romance, Horror, and Paranormal fiction! 




All month long I'll be introducing readers to amazing characters through character bios, artwork, interviews, and contests. Check out the schedule below from what you'll find each day this month. 




That's Not All...

We'll be having some fabulous contests, each of which has it's own giveaway. Readers will get to vote on the characters, and one lucky voter in each contest will win a copy of the book the Winning Character comes from. The character giveaways will include: 




Hottest Guy Contest (10/4)

Feistiest Girl Contest (10/11)

Cutest Couple Contest (10/18)

Steamiest Couple Contest (10/25)




There will also be one MAIN GIVEAWAY starting today where 1 LUCKY WINNER  will win a prize pack of 40 books from some of today's hottest new authors. Additional winners will be chosen to receive runner-up prize packs as well. Scroll down and enter below! 




SO, WHAT CAN YOU FIND EACH DAY?

10/2 -- Character interviews with Zadie Stonebrook (My Sister's Reaper - Dorothy Dryer),            Tizzy Donovan (Laid out and Candle Lit - Ann Everett), Kristi Becker (A Plain                  Wish - Cyndi Lord), Zander Roth (Wicked Hunger - DelSheree Gladden)

10/3 -- Character Bios from Kristi Becker (A Plain Wish - Cyndi Lord), Bryan Sullivan                    (Arcadia's Gift - Jesi Lea Ryan), Brandon James (Love and Other Games - Aria                  Kane

10/4 -- Hottest Guy Contest (Stop by and vote for your favorite!)




10/7 -- Character Surprise Posts from authors RH Ramsey and DelSheree Gladden

10/8 -- Character Artwork from The Other F Word (Susan Stec) and Wicked Hunger                    (DelSheree Gladden) 

10/9 -- Character interviews with Kate Everett (A Slight Change of Plan - Dee Ernst),                  Jean (In Polester Pajamas - Catherine Dougherty), Ben (Twenty-Five - Rachel                    Hamm), Vanessa Roth (Wicked Hunger - DelSheree Gladden)

10/10 -- Character Bios from Kassia (Ice Magic), Maze (The Ballerina and the Fighter -                    Ursula Sinclair), Lucien (Smoke, Wings, and Stone - Marijon Bradley)

10/11 -- Feistiest Girl Contest (Stop by and vote for your favorite!)




10/14 -- Character Surprise Posts from authors Kara Leigh Miller, Sharon Kleve, Linda                  Budzinski 

10/15 -- Character Artwork from On a Wing and a Dare (Linda Ulleseit), Invisible                            (DelSheree Gladden)

10/16 -- Character interviews with David Corbin and Jon Reyes (Sign of the Throne -                    Melissa Eskue Ousley), Rosie (In Polyester Pajamas - Catherine Dougherty),                        Ketchup (Wicked Hunger - DelSheree Gladden)

10/17 -- Character Bios from Nadia (love and Other Games - Melinda Dozier), (Karen                      Gastreich), (HL Carpenter)

10/18 -- Cutest Couple Contest (Stop by and vote for your favorite!)




10/21 -- Character Surprise Posts from authors Stephanie Wardrop, Lucy Crowe, Ana                    Blaze

10/22 -- Character Artwork from Haunting Joy (Lena Goldfinch) and The Destroyer                        Trilogy (DelSheree Gladden)

10/23 -- Character interviews with Rachel Blackstone (The Relcutant Medium - GG                        Collins), Nell (The King Series - Tawdra Kandle), Arcadia ( Arcadia's Gift - Jesi                  Lea Ryan), Olivia & Mason (Invisible - DelSheree Gladden)

10/24 -- Character Bios from (Karin Gastreich), Sam and Cole (Fate War: Alliance - EM                    Havens)

10/25 -- Steamiest Couple Contest (Stop by and vote for your favorite!)




10/28 -- Character Surprise Posts from authors Susan Stec, Shauna Roberts, Lisa                          Cresswell

10/29 -- Character Artwork from My Sister's Reaper (Doroth Dryer), Twin Souls                            (DelSheree Gladden)

10/30 -- Character interviews with Nathan Shaw (Reflection - Kim Cresswell), Nia (In the              Winds of Danger - Linda Ulleseit), Jayden or Merch (dark Night of the Soul - EM                Havens)

10/31 -- Winner's Announcements!!!



a Rafflecopter giveaway

BLOG HOPS, TOURS, AND REVIEWS

MY CRAZY CORNER with Apryl Baker

Visit Apryl's Blogfest today and see the best of the best in YA and NA. Lots of giveaways!














 

Toni's grandmother is a psychopath.





Her sister is a ghost.





Her boyfriend is possessed.





And she has no idea who she is.




 

Summer vacation is ruined when Toni's twin sister, Sara,
dies. Instead of walking into the light, Sara stomps directly away from it,
totally pissed she didn't die in her skinny jeans. That's when Sara finds out
their grandmother has a gift for talking to dead people, and two spritely spirits
and a nasty soothsayer are all working their angle with Toni's future caught in
between.




Dear old Granny's determined not to be the last
necromancer in the family, but with the death of her promiscuous granddaughter,
Sara, her only option is Toni, who must remain a virgin until her eighteenth
birthday...without any ghostly interference from Sara. 




Good luck with that! Sara's not having any of it; especially since the guy
Granny's conspiring with is the same guy that assisted in Sara's demise. Toni
needs help! But protecting her sister is complicating all the ghostly fun on
the other side! Especially when Granny sends Sara and her friends to a crypt of soul sucking fiends--just to make a freakin' point!




Can death stop a twin? Not on your life! Unfortunately, Granny knows Dead
Girls Never Shut Up.




***PG suggested—adult content and profanity.



















COVER REVEAL 

 





  SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 on Amazon

  THE OTHER F WORD, a young adult fantasy





http://thegratefulundead.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/GratefulUndead

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4556170.Susan_Stec

https://twitter.com/Suesan0814



a Rafflecopter giveaway







 




I enjoyed my first blog hop so much I decided to keep on hopping.






The rest of December is dedicated to:






Next Big Thing Blog Hop  









One of my good friends, Audra Middleton, an amazing author,
emailed to tell me she was getting in on the Next Big Thing Blog Hop and asked if I'd like to jump on. I figured,
since I've been seeing this hop on several of the blogs that I follow , I'd fang up
and give it a try. Hope you visit Audra's blog: http://audramiddleton.weebly.com/ and leave a comment. 









Meet Lily, half demon and half vampire. She's a character I introduced in book 3 of The Grateful Undead series and will be featured in Coffin Fit, book 4. 




If you would like to meet the rest of the family, click here:  http://thegratefulundead.weebly.com/










































Without further ado, here are the answers to the Next Big Thing Blog Hop questions:




1) What is the
working title of your current/next book?

Coffin Fit, the
4th in The Grateful Undead series




2) Where did you get
the idea for that book?

The women in my family. I wanted them to live, laugh and
stay young forever, so I gave them fangs in book one, The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein. And as long as I was
fantasizing, I also turned everyone 25ish. Unfortunately, they all retained
their senior citizen mentalities.




3) What's the genre
of the book?

Paranormal humor that morphed into a paranormal romance
crossover by the end of book one and definitely into book two in the series, Gator Baitin'. But still, it's all about
the humor.




4) If you could pick
actors to play the lead characters in your story, who would you pick?

The five women in my family could be any of the female cast in:
Hocus Pocus, Death Becomes Her, The
Witches of Eastwick or Terms of
Endearment. Oh, and I have to add Anjelica Huston and Betty White because I
love them.

I don't care who they cast in the male roles – it's all
about the three generations of crazy women.




5) How would you
describe your book in one sentence (10 words or less)?

Zany, loud, bitchy, funny, um... bloody, and a little naughty.




6) How will your book
be published, submitted through the traditional route to a traditional
publisher or will you be handling it yourself through Indie Publishing methods?

I went the small publisher route with the first book in the
series, but when I finished Gator Baitin', and Blood
Sweat and Demon Tears, I decided to Indie publish.  Coffin Fit will be Indie published as well.




7) How long did it
take you to write the first draft of this book?

They're so Vein
took 141,000+ words and1 year to write (another year to edit out over 60,000 words). Gator Baitin' and Blood, Sweat and Demon Tears, around 3-6 months each.

I've just started Coffin
fit this month, only half a chapter written, but then I'm also working on
last round edits for two YA books and a very dark novella.




8) What other books
within your genre are similar to yours?

I'd like to think, wish and hope:  Christopher Moore, HP Mallory and JR Rain. Someone mentioned that Stephanie Plum could be a distant relative. A publisher
told me it was like the Sookie Stackhouse series, but I sure didn't see that. Charlaine Harris has a method to her madness. My writing is just plain madness.




9) Who or what
inspired you to write this book?

The women in my life. I know
them so well that when I put these crazy girls in a situation, they write the
story. I gave up on outlines during my first book. I now start with a plot idea
and an ending. They do the rest. Crap! I have a plethora of vamps, a fairy, dragon, werewolf, demons, zombie dog and the vamp-kid from hell living in my head and they won't go home!




10) What about your
book will pique the reader's interest?

By the reviews, I'd say the laugh out loud humor is what
seems to be drawing the readers in. All ages, men and women.




From here you will want to check out the Next Big Thing Blog Hop participant: DelSheree, author of The destroyer Trilogy, Twin Souls Saga and Escaping Fate, blogger  and reviewer extraordinare. http://theediblebookshelf.blogspot.com/












  Let me know you've been here!  




Enter to win Book three in The Grateful Undead series:

Hop a blog

I enjoyed my first blog hop so much I decided to keep on hopping.

The rest of the month is dedicated to:






Next Big Thing Blog Hop  









One of my good friends, Audra Middleton, an amazing author,
emailed to tell me she was getting in on the Next Big Thing Blog Hop and asked if I'd like to jump on. I figured,
since I've been seeing this hop on several of the blogs that I follow , I'd fang up
and give it a try. Hope you visit Audra's blog: http://audramiddleton.weebly.com/ and leave a comment. 









Meet Lily, half demon and half vampire. She's a character I introduced in book 3 of The Grateful Undead series and will be featured in Coffin Fit, book 4. 




If you would like to meet the rest of the family, click here:  http://thegratefulundead.weebly.com/










































Without further ado, here are the answers to the Next Big Thing Blog Hop questions:




1) What is the
working title of your current/next book?

Coffin Fit, the
4th in The Grateful Undead series




2) Where did you get
the idea for that book?

The women in my family. I wanted them to live, laugh and
stay young forever, so I gave them fangs in book one, The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein. And as long as I was
fantasizing, I also turned everyone 25ish. Unfortunately, they all retained
their senior citizen mentalities.




3) What's the genre
of the book?

Paranormal humor that morphed into a paranormal romance
crossover by the end of book one and definitely into book two in the series, Gator Baitin'. But still, it's all about
the humor.




4) If you could pick
actors to play the lead characters in your story, who would you pick?

The five women in my family could be any of the female cast in:
Hocus Pocus, Death Becomes Her, The
Witches of Eastwick or Terms of
Endearment. Oh, and I have to add Anjelica Huston and Betty White because I
love them.

I don't care who they cast in the male roles – it's all
about the three generations of crazy women.




5) How would you
describe your book in one sentence (10 words or less)?

Zany, loud, bitchy, funny, um... bloody, and a little naughty.




6) How will your book
be published, submitted through the traditional route to a traditional
publisher or will you be handling it yourself through Indie Publishing methods?

I went the small publisher route with the first book in the
series, but when I finished Gator Baitin', and Blood
Sweat and Demon Tears, I decided to Indie publish.  Coffin Fit will be Indie published as well.




7) How long did it
take you to write the first draft of this book?

They're so Vein
took 141,000+ words and1 year to write (another year to edit out over 60,000 words). Gator Baitin' and Blood, Sweat and Demon Tears, around 3-6 months each.

I've just started Coffin
fit this month, only half a chapter written, but then I'm also working on
last round edits for two YA books and a very dark novella.




8) What other books
within your genre are similar to yours?

I'd like to think, wish and hope:  Christopher Moore, HP Mallory and JR Rain. Someone mentioned that Stephanie Plum could be a distant relative. A publisher
told me it was like the Sookie Stackhouse series, but I sure didn't see that. Charlaine Harris has a method to her madness. My writing is just plain madness.




9) Who or what
inspired you to write this book?

The women in my life. I know
them so well that when I put these crazy girls in a situation, they write the
story. I gave up on outlines during my first book. I now start with a plot idea
and an ending. They do the rest. Crap! I have a plethora of vamps, a fairy, dragon, werewolf, demons, zombie dog and the vamp-kid from hell living in my head and they won't go home!




10) What about your
book will pique the reader's interest?

By the reviews, I'd say the laugh out loud humor is what
seems to be drawing the readers in. All ages, men and women.




From here you will want to check out the Next Big Thing Blog Hop participant: DelSheree, author of The destroyer Trilogy, Twin Souls Saga and Escaping Fate, blogger  and reviewer extraordinare. http://theediblebookshelf.blogspot.com/












  Let me know you've been here!  




Enter to win Book three in The Grateful Undead series:

















































 


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Winter Book Blast Event

Check out the schedule at http://theediblebookshelf.blogspot.com/2012/12/winter-book-blast-giveaway.html to find your favorite genre.
















This is my first blog hop and I'm super excited!
Multi-authors will be participating, so one lucky winner will be getting a
grand prize pack of at least 18 books in a variety of genres! Some great reading for  those stay-in-doors winter months.




And be sure to check out all the blogs because many of the authors are doing in...<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>

What are you reading?

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