Michón Neal's Blog, page 28
August 15, 2013
Character and Song Number Eleven: Soleceet
This is one of the special children. Not only was Soleceet strong enough to lure the Dark Faeries out of reach of Mardock’s (god of gods) influence but he is also able to save the entire Black Tree Universe. Which makes it such a shame he’s absolutely obsessed with finding his long-lost girlfriend. To follow the adventures of the savior of the universe destined to be born over and over to the same parents, check out the Black Tree Series. Cel’s (Soleceet) life is covered rather well by Swedish Mafia’s Don’t You Worry Child.
August 13, 2013
Integrated Living Part Four: The Human Napkin
One of the saddest realizations I ever had was learning how much I had let myself be worn down by others. I was the invisible child. Literally, no one ever knew where I was or what I was up to. The only time people acknowledged me was to note how intelligent I was or to hurt me. I am 25 years old and it keeps hitting me how much of myself I keep hidden.
It was merely a few short years ago that I even realized I could say no to unwanted sex. That I could say no to ideas I disagreed with. That there was a real person inside of me that was bursting at the seams to get out. That my stories were literally my story, my way of traversing my mental landscape, and hunting down that small child whose words never mattered.
I have always loved my anger. This may sound strange but anger is a wonderful fuel. It practically requires you to act. Unfortunately most people don’t let their rationality guide it. I am odd. My anger prompts me into a frenzy of reasoning. I berate people with logic. If there is no direction for my anger, I clean. My house never looks so beautiful. My anger helped save me. Every time I wanted to die, to give up, to just go crazy I grew angry. I cannot quit.
My anger grew when I chose to unlock that box of horrid memories. The name of that box is Human Napkin. In so many ways people often treat others as if they are disposable and it is disgusting. I have served as a human napkin for the majority of my life. I have wasted so much precious time because I locked myself in that box. No one but my sister cared for my welfare so what reason did I have to care for it?
I checked out and let others do as they pleased. I gave this phenomenon that name due to it actually happening to me. I had a terrible “friend” who would wipe her dirt-encrusted hands on me. Because I mattered that little to her. People have in one way or another been wiping their dirty fingers all over my spirit my entire life.
My anger led to me starting a new practice: making a promise to myself each year. That first year, at 19, I promised myself I would never be raped again. Another promise in the last few years was to eject assholes from my life. Yet another was to sort my knowledge and beliefs, getting rid of the junk. This year my promise is to say what I really have to say. To be emotionally honest no matter how awkward I am about it. I am not inanimate, I am here, and I’m learning to express myself. I definitely am not here to take on anyone else’s garbage or to make them take mine.
Take care in your interactions with others. Don’t wipe your hands on them. Don’t let them wipe their hands on you. I am not disposable! And neither are you.
August 9, 2013
Some Things are Hard to Say
Reblogged from atheist, polyamorous skeptics:
I struggled about whether I was going to write about this. I have written a bit about it before, but the subject has come up again in fuller force than usual and I find myself doing some major processing. I am going to be talking about a traumatic event in my life, so feel free not to read it. As Ginny suggested the other day, doing a google search about cute animals might be a better choice.
Warning: Possible Emotional Triggers (Sexual Assault) Ahead
We rarely learn we can say no to these situations. Especially if we have to keep repeating it. Most of us aren't taught how to handle or prevent sexual assault. Not that it's always possible to prevent or see coming. I hate this idea that all roads must lead to sex just because. That people, usually male, can't seem to get past the fantasy of another person so that they can see that they're hurting others. Lately I've been recalling my own past horrors. I've been working through the anxiety it brings up, getting reacquainted with the feminine side I used to hide, and trying my best not to hold anything against the man in my life. He's been wonderful in learning to understand what a survivor goes through. All these years I've given men the benefit of the doubt but sadly that fear still follows me. I may be sensitized for the rest of my life but I'll keep working on it. At least the shame of being raped and molested nearly every year of my life is gone. Now I must see each person as they are and not repeat my attackers' mistake of letting a fantasy ruin reality.
July 25, 2013
Character and Song Number Ten: Michon
Hold on. Is that…is that my name? Curious. It appears that the author has stepped into their own story, in order to heal. Against a backdrop of cuil level six insanity a young Michon works to sort her head and her secrets out. Michon first appears in The Black Tree series and pops up in various books on a whim. For one with so much power she seems so lost and scared. And angry. One of her most terrifying powers is deletion. What is she really doing there and why does she just seem to make things worse? In any case, her song is Gossip’s Move in the Right Direction.
*Special note: As noted in the BTS, my writing was therapeutic as well as self-exploratory. I’ll explain why I write and the unique way I write in a later blog post. For now, just know that a child was hurting and growing and these different series show part of that journey. However, just because she was young doesn’t mean it was flowers and sunshine. It’s dark, gritty, and oh so silly. I suppose it’s what happens when one grows up too fast.
July 21, 2013
Character and Song Number Nine: Clarence
Clarence is a creature of unknown origin who was sentenced by the gods to spend an eternity in the Prison of Deficit. He bides his time torturing any other character unfortunate enough to have been deleted. How he tortures them, however, will not be revealed just yet. Let’s just say Fallout Boy’s My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark fits more closely than you might think. His story, Clarence Buys Hats, hasn’t been written yet but it’s complete in my head already. His story is cuil level five.
July 8, 2013
Why fluid-bonded sex is, um, "sticky"
Yeah, OK, pun intended. Couldn't help it.
Sexual health -- and particularly safer sex skills -- are key considerations in any relationship or connections that involve sexual contact. This is true even for monogamous relationships (because most of them are only ostensibly, not actually, monogamous) as well as for nonmonogamous relationships and more casual encounters. And fluid bonding (having barrier-free sex) vastly increases most serious STI risks.
It's always important to take care of your health, no matter your circumstances. I don't understand the whole emotional aspect behind fluid bonding but then again I'm not normal. I do like that Solo points out that having safer sex means paying more general attention to your partners and exploring new ways to connect. In my stories, I do include some conversations surrounding safe sex and the consequences of unprotected sex. Although my characters are luckier in that most of them can't contract diseases. They have a lot of fun making fun of humans for this. Anyway, this is a long read yet it is totally worth it. It's something I will address more deeply in my Nothing for Granted project (more on this later but suffice it to say most of my books deal with the ridiculousness of nonsense whereas this will deal with people who make sense). So be safe, everyone and be creative!
July 5, 2013
Character and Song Number Eight: Saje/Empress Tania LaMoore
Saje is the perfect woman, or at least the crew of the A Seriesen thinks so. With caramel skin, irresistible charm, and a sharp wit, she steals the hearts of all she encounters. But she must contend with being some evil dick’s creation. Due to this, what she desires most of all is freedom. With Independence Day just passed, I find her an appropriate character example of that yearning, that search for happiness, the necessity of liberty. What life can you make for yourself and how do you derive meaning when you were literally created to serve others?
Saje appears first in the Black Tree series. She actually looks suspiciously like me, can battle with the best of them, and is the queen of fairies. There is also another, darker role she must assume but you’ll have to read the series to find out what it is. In the meantime enjoy the song that fits her so well: How to Be a Heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds.
June 22, 2013
Day (466) - Big Dreams = Big Rewards + Bigger Problems
Reblogged from The Better Man Project:
As Captain Jack Sparrow once said, "It is not the problem that's the problem. It is your attitude about the problem." Yes...I just quoted Pirates of the Caribbean.
The title is a formula that is undoubtedly true. When you become successful at something, your game elevates...but your problems do increase as well. The nature of the formula will always stay balanced.
This is definitely true. It's all proportionate. What matters is how and what you think of it.
June 20, 2013
I’ll Be Back
Hello all! I am sorry I haven’t posted anything recently. I’ve been dealing with one of my recurring illnesses, and it is a bitch! Funnily enough, right now my anger is my best friend. Anger gives you plenty of energy and I funnel it into my work (cleaning). I know that seems strange, but this ordeal gave me a great idea for a post about how anger (or mania) can actually be helpful. I know, shocker! In other news, I still plan on publishing books 10-14 of the Black Tree Series this year, so don’t worry! I also have hundreds more characters to write about and share with you, including some from books I have yet to write. So, sneak peaks are totes cool, right? I don’t know the lingo, forgive me. Send me good energy as I manage this illness and I will continue to bring you the wacky worlds inside of my head. Cheers!
May 28, 2013
Character and Song Number Seven: Donartez Caila
Donartez is the oldest living logmin vampire, entitling him to head seat of the Vampire Council (a bunch of old dullards that are the heads of the 42 oldest vampire families). He is of rather short stature, with jet black hair and eyes. Like Mark Ashton, he often wears vests and leather pants, although he walks around barefoot most of the time. He is the main one responsible for Queen Aeryn’s previous deaths. He can’t be killed yet because no other vampire is strong enough to do the deed. Since he’s over 5000 years old the sun barely harms him anymore. He is one of Queen Aeryn’s original logmin children. For whatever reason, he also tries really hard to sleep with Sam Dayner, Mark Ashton’s son/clone. The only person that seems to like him at all is Mejir Dayner, Cris’ son (Cris is one of Allison Dutch’s best friends, though god only knows why). Queen Aeryn hates him, both for the fact that he had her killed and because he once served in the Roman army, the one that brought Egypt to ruin. He is reluctantly allowed to stay in the castle in Italy with the others due to the problem of no one being able to kill him that I mentioned before. I imagine him waltzing around to MSI’s (creepy version, NSFW) “Never Wanted to Dance” (fun version).
