Michón Neal's Blog, page 27

emotions can be a distracting drug

Reblogged from atheist, polyamorous skeptics:

So, I seriously get annoyed with some aspects of liberal culture, especially where it intersects with religion.  I've written about this before, many times, so I don't need to sat too much (and yet, I will...).  But it is a thing which grinds my gears fairly frequently, including today when I found this good criticism of Francis Spufford's article at Salon.com…

Read more… 1,155 more words

Let's not forget that for some the emotions that religion invokes are negative. For some that will be as addictive as the good emotions while for others (like me) it was a sign to move on and dig deeper. Addiction comes in many forms and nearly anything can become an addiction. Everything has a cost, whether we see it or not.

The Cuil Effect

The name of my integrated works that stem from The Black Tree series is called The Cuil Effect. Why? Because cuil theory is fantastic and absurd and yet still ties together just like life. I first happened upon cuil theory when a friend posted a link to a video by Roy Kelly that made me laugh harder than anything I’ve ever experienced. If you appreciate cuil theory you might enjoy my stories employing it.

And now a beautiful quote that sums up why I write about painful and weird subjects: Cass: I think the message is Self Acceptance. In everything we’ve done together, and I think a lot of what we did before we met, it was about letting your freak flag fly and finding a space where other people like you can also be unique, original, honest, real. You know, there’s a rebellious streak in that, I don’t think that life is as it seems in the Gap commercial. I think the Gap commercial people have french kissed each other and stuck their fingers up their butts when no ones looking and they are real, real people with real feelings, and I feel like the world is increasingly fake and airbrushed and filtered. I think the more that we can do as individuals to create space for people to be authentic- and so often that equates to weird even though I personally think EVERYBODY’s weird, on the inside- I think that creating space for that and creating examples of that automatically liberates others, like in that wonderful Marianne WIlliamson quote:

“As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.”

I began writing to save myself, to explore the world, and to deconstruct everything I could think of. My stories incorporate elements from many different genres. This introduces some difficulty in pinning down which is the most relevant. However I believe the term cuil fiction (I made that I’ll myself) describes it perfectly. Each different book series is a different level of cuil. Each level of cuil is one step further removed from reality. Imagine the experiments and play this opens up in writing! I will write about each series and its cuil level much like I’m picking a song for each of my characters. I will explain how far removed from reality it is and then write an overview of each series.

What makes cuil theory a perfect tool for my writing is that it is integral to the story line itself. The Black Tree series is the trunk of a tree of interconnected works. This also means it has a higher cuil level because it is at the nexus of the event that split the universe. The further away a series is on the tree the lower its cuil level. It’s farther away from the crack in the universe. The closer a series is to the cuil event the higher the level of weirdness. This is why there isn’t much out there like my writing. Though it may seem like many random events occur in each book there is a method to this madness. If all this sounds interesting to you please feel free to check out my books. I currently have over 50 left to publish and a number of others to write so wish me luck. This writing project is one that may take my entire life to finish. In so many ways it is my life. I do have books and plans for books that are not included in The Cuil Effect project but those will come later.

I invite you into the cuilest universe you’ll ever see. I hope to see you there!

When Your Health Fails

I’m kind of drifting through right now. I can only focus on getting as much work done as possible because the monster is moving through my family still. There is still so much to experience, to say, to enjoy. I hope the cancer dies in them. I hope this thing in me does not become it, either. Health is not a promise. Since my emotions are tangling up and staying in the background I shall pour them into my writing as I have before.

Vulnerability

Reblogged from atheist, polyamorous skeptics:

Intimacy brings with it the promise of wonderful pleasure as well as the potential for pain.

Whenever we open up to someone, we hope that the other person will do the same.  If you meet someone you like, you can try and talk to them and they may respond or they may blow you off.  If you ask someone out, they can accept or they may reject you.  

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It's true for life in general and true for writing. Art can be so personal. Any rejection of it can feel like a rejection of your very self. I like that shaunphilly stresses that it's helpful to went it to reach those who appreciate it. That's the best we can work for even if most people are saying no. I know I want to read this book of his. It sounds cool. And I'll let you all know what I think. It takes some bravery to put yourself out there again and again. Maybe even more so with art or writing.

Song and Character Number Sixteen: Mark Ulf

Mysterious and dark, this fallen Angel haunts the life of young Allison Mae as she grows into the formidable Queen Aeryn. Every once in a while he appears to her to offer guidance in the most depressing voice ever. The only problem is that their conversations occur out of order! No one knows where he’s from or why he’s been on Earth for millennia searching. All they know is that he is the first version of Mark Blue, who doesn’t like him very much. They share features in common as well as powers: with black eyes and no whites, black-beyond-all-reason hair, pale skin, a sneer that drives to the core, the power to make people sleep, the ability to travel through time, and the best repertoire of tricks since Rebecca the Sun Princess was born. Mark Ulf seems to want to take Queen Aeryn away but can she get over her fear of his alien nature enough to help? Mark’s song is Let It Be by Blackmill. He soars first in the Allison Dutch series. You’ll find out about his creepier reincarnation when I get up the guts to write it. Shiver.

Character and Song Number Fifteen: Lombardi

Lombardi was the initial leader of the Black Tree crew. He trained them, raised them, and led them into battle. He is one of the strongest fighters and the protector of one alternate universe. He is a giant with blond hair and blue eyes. He’s also one of the only people who sees the deeper side of Mark Blue. However, he eventually losers his focus and becomes distracted by his love for another character. He’s never really gotten over her and it causes problems for him as time goes on. For that reason Relapse by Shockone resonates with him. Check out the Black Tree series to follow his take off obsession and regret.

Character and Song Number Fourteen: Razi Lachelle

Like Stuart Jalenais, Razi has no last name. She appears mysteriously to the A Seriesen crew and holds her secrets tightly to her chest. All that anyone really knows is that she really likes water, she can catch glimpses of the future, and seeing her vomit will give you nightmares. With aqua eyes and long blue hair she casts a spell over anyone she meets, with belly dancing that leaves everyone wanting to know more. She is one of my dearest characters and also one of the strongest. Innocence by Nero contains a hint of both her past and her future. She appears in The Black Tree series, Mark’s childhood, and a few other series.

Character and Song Thirteen: Princess Ariel Shoud

Light, patience, purity. Ariel is the embodiment of beauty inside and out. With twelve arms, orange skin, and a voice that makes everyone sigh in delight she spreads joy merely by being present. She is the last-born full Saturnian. She’s had some struggles, most notably with her bastard adopted brother, yet she bears everything with grace. She is also one of the most powerful fighters, rivaling Lombardi as far as pure power goes. Often donning a robe and bare feet, she literally bathes in light and is an immense source of comfort and a nonjudgmental confidant for Mark Blue ( especially during his troubled childhood). Mux Mool’s Baba fits her to a T. The airy, ethereal melody is a good example of the effect she has on others. You can read more about her in The Black Tree series, links to which can be found here.

Character and Song Number Twelve: Mark Ashton

Here is anger. Here is pain. Here is a man whose every life is haunted by his greatest enemy: his wife. Mark is the reincarnated king who wed Queen Aeryn so long ago. Usually his life ends by her hand. In the Allison Dutch series he returns for one final chance to redeem himself, one final chance to truly grow into himself, and one final chance to get things right. Send the Pain Below by Chevelle represents his struggle to express basic emotions and trust anyone. The Redby Chevelle is the song I imagine his many victims hearing as he brutally murders them.

Universal Appeal

Lately, the voices in my head have been shouting, screaming, cajoling, and bickering. Since I’ve written very little this year while I concentrate on publishing each character has decided to pop up at inopportune moments to pester me about when I’ll visit them again. I tell them to shush to no avail; they come back louder and more obnoxious. I love them so. Yet I worry about them, too, especially lately.

My imagination hasn’t found it’s usual outlet of going into my writing and so has contented itself with pouring out in the form of anxiety about my writing. Hooray! See, the worry and anxiety is wrapped around the thought that my books are so unusual. They cover many of the topics that others shy away from, or use as convenient and contrived devices, or deal with in ways that conform to the mainstream narrative (ha ha, see what I did there?). I talk about successful and unsuccessful polyamorous relationships without it being the focus of the story. I have characters of all sexualities who have rounded out personalities. I dive into the sex and violence drives. The people I wrote about go through existential crises and absurd situations.

Some people won’t like the multiple romance. Some people won’t like the many fantasy settings. Others will retreat from the philosophical and other random nerdy conversations my characters have. There are those who will complain about the short duration of many of the books. Most won’t realize that each series is connected and won’t understand the larger story being told. That world, those universes that branch out from the Black Tree series, is immense in my head. I have written and have planned some unrelated works yet this is a project that will likely go on for the rest of my life.

And I fear it will never reach those I intended it for. Big publishers will refuse it because it’s too out there. No one will hear of it because I suck at marketing (and have little funds to hire someone to do it for me).  I feel as if my books will suffer my fate, banished to invisibility. My pact with myself to express my emotions more clearly prompts me to write this, as unprofessional or panicked as it seems. I don’t want the fear. So I am pushing on. I see my fear but I won’t let it cripple me. The best I can do is reach out to the few who might appreciate my unusual absurdist fantasy science fiction. I wrote these stories for people like me, for myself to heal, and for others who are left out. Maybe one day there will be a big publisher who deals in strange fiction. In any event, my left hand is twitching in its dire need to put ink upon paper. Let me write something then and worry about publishing some other time.