Candice Bundy's Blog, page 11

Why I don't use sharp knives.

There are many things I'm good at. Some I even excel at, when I apply myself, or at least I like to think so. I make award-winning meads and wines, I write stories that set my readers on edge and give them the creepy crawlies (deliberately…), and I do a downright decent job of mothering my son.

Other things, I could give a rat's petunia about. It's called priorities, and I have them. I don't need to excel at everything, and you don't either. I've picked my handful of awesomeness, and I revel in it. When I find something lacking, I take a class, a workshop, find a mentor, you name it, and I get 'er done and learned, strap on that new skill and move on, the more the merrier. On lucky occasions I'm very happy to outsource my needs when funding permits or the job is too large or doesn't fit me. Either way, things move forward.

Now, there are those nasty nellies who will call themselves your 'friends' who, in the interest of friendship, will lord their perfection over you. I will cite two personal examples, and I ask you to take them to heart. If you have similar cases in your own life, ask yourself, are these people actually my 'friends', or just petty tyrants using you to feel superior?

Case 1: The ex-boyfriend who wrote perfect haiku. He wrote amazing poetry. He looked at my writing and petted my head, while shaking his own. It's just so sad how pathetic my little attempts were, you understand, next to his complete perfection of form. Instead he'd have me read his work for hours, or read to me, in hopes that I'd eventually 'get it'. I didn't write anything for years after that relationship ended. Now, note, I'm now published, and although I haven't tracked his progress, I'm sure his form is still perfect, but whatever, all he used it for was to belittle other writers.

Case 2: The female friend who took chef training classes and stocked her kitchen with all the perfect chef equipment. Especially knives. After taking her classes and realizing she'd have to give up her high-paying job to actually work in a kitchen and move up the ranks, she gave up her dream of chef-hood, and instead reserved her wonderful cooking for friends and family, occasionally taking new classes here and there. Each time I visited she'd ask for my help with something, and invariably I'd have to cut something, using one of the amazing knives. And, invariably, I'd do it wrong. Did I care? Well no, I never aspired to chef-hood, and I generally manage to use knives on a day-to-day basis without eviscerating myself.  And yet, she'd never fail to make a public spectacle over the event, gasping how I was about to cut off a finger because I wasn't holding it correctly, and couldn't she just teach me? Well, no, thanks, I'd decline. Then, she'd make fun of me in front of her other guests, and I'd make a joke of it, asking for her 'baby knives', which she had none of. Everyone would laugh, and it was all in fun, right? Funny, then why did it always feel like a 'I'm better than you' dig?

So no, I don't write haiku, and I don't use sharp knives. And no, not because of the above people, but because they aren't important skills to me.

One of the great joys of life is we all get to embrace and follow our dreams, build our skills, and share our wins with others. The challenge we have is then sharing without lording those wins over others. For instance, I can talk for hours about obscure wine knowledge, but I rarely do so, unless whomever I'm speaking to leads the conversation that way. I know wine talk can get tedious for others, so I don't push, even though it's a joy for me to talk about. Everything in moderation. Share what you love, but share gently.

And when someone lords their awesomeness over you, they simply aren't awesome at all. From what I've seen, the awesome folks come by it naturally.

Journey of a 1000 Ports

Last night I dreamt I was playing with my young son, making mud pies, getting muck between our toes, and generally living it up. Then, OH NO! We were late, just like Alice! We dug out our tickets, wiped off our feet, and ran, ran, ran to the dock, making it just in time!

The Captain took our tickets, and I asked where the boat was headed. Because, you know, in dreams you never quite remember those pesky details. He replied, "a journey of a thousand ports". My son pulled my hand, eager to board, and we were once again filled with our earlier youthful enthusiasm, ran aboard the boat, and joyously awaited the marvels before us in our long journey together.

Ain't that just life? Or, shouldn't it be?

When I tell people I'm a hedonist, all sorts of debauchery and naughtiness tends to enter their minds. And sure, go ahead, that's all well and fun, let your mind have its entertainment.

I have a wonderful bumper sticker: Never let temptation pass you by, you never know when it might pass your way again. No, seriously, missed opportunities are life's bitch. But now let's take it a step further, shall we?

Hedonism is an exercise in engrossing the senses, every single one of them, to the limit, but never dulling them out. Which is why I indulge, but I don't blitz myself out. Why? Because how can I be captivated by the intense color in flower petals or the voice of my favorite musician when I can't even hold my head up? Moderation is a beautiful thing, because it allows me access to incredible levels of intensity, just by paying attention.

So in your journey today, what are you paying attention to? What, you're not noticing? QUICK! Immerse yourself in something, anything! Just like a child, pick it up, and milk the experience for all it's worth. It may delight you, it may disgust you, but awaken those senses!

For you writers, it's an exercise. For those of you simply living, it's an exercise in breathing. Get on that boat!

How many projects are too many?

I recently started in on a new project, all for the standard and good and decent reasons.

I've decided to write a memoir (ugh, I hate the word!) of sorts on the experience of living with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. One, it's been eating at me for some time, and I most likely won't publish it, but I want to externalize the experience, and as a writer, this is how I process. Two, even among individuals with epilepsy, this is a rare form of epilepsy, and in addition my late diagnosis it makes the story even more compelling, and therefore, potentially marketable. So, yes, this is a personal project, and perhaps it's indulgent, but it simply feels good to do it.

My other projects are more straightforward.

I have The Depths of Memory three book series. The first book, The Dream Sifter, is written and out for query, the second, to be named is halfway done, and the third is outlined roughly. I count this as two open WIP's. (That's 'works in progress to you non-industry folks.)

Then there's The Chosen Few series. The first book, The Daemon Whisperer is about twenty percent done in rough draft, and the second book, The Madness Path, has a few scenes written. There's a third book I have rough outlined, but let's not count it as firm as of yet. So for now, two open WIP's in this series.

And I had this recent amazing dream which lead to a fully-fledged book idea. A ghost seeking revenge, creepy as all get out. I need to write it as a novella, and then rewrite it as screenplay and see if I can option it. No, seriously.

And when I'm not busy, I'd like to screenplay Ripples. Ohhh, yeah baby.

So yeah, if I can do the maths, I think that's about seven WIP's I'm got backlogged. However, there's only three I'm actively writing on and touching on a weekly basis, and all at different times. I work on the Daemon Whisperer while I'm commuting, and the Depths of Memory sequel in the evenings while I'm home drinking a favorite wine. My thoughts on epilepsy I record on free time over the weekends.

Frankly, sometimes if I get stuck with one story, it's nice to have another to go flex my muscles on, so I don't get to feeling stuck in a rut. But, like many writers, I don't have a problem coming up with ideas, so it's more an issue of coming up with the time to juggle life and all the writing I'd like to put out there.

What are your thoughts? Are there limits on how many projects a person can reasonably take on? Do you have difficulty jumping from one set of characters or universe to the next? Do you prefer to stick with a series through to the bitter end before starting the next one?

Oh, and most importantly, am I insane for considering sharing my personal insight on epilepsy with the world? Mind you, it won't be a doctor's view, just this humans. And bizarre insights, no less.

So, hit me. With your thoughts, comments, etc. Do you keep too many projects on your plate, or just enough?

The Depths of Memory

A number of you have asked for more details on my upcoming Depths of Memory series. So, here's a quick teaser on the series and the first book. The first book is finished, and I'm presently shopping for it's future home. Let me know what you think!

Summary on the three book series

The Depths of Memory is a sci-fi series where a human colony races to prove themselves and survive before the more powerful Hegemonic races declare their attempt a failure. Although they've been on Az'Unda for a little over 600 years and have used rather aggressive breeding practices, a horrible plague has reduced their life spans, left many women sterile, and saddled them with Terrors.

Book 1 – The Dream Sifter

Rai Durmah suffers from amnesia and recurring nightmares–wherein she's hunted down for unspeakable crimes she can't even recall. She awakens riddled with guilt seeped into her bones. Forced to move on with a new life and family, Rai tries to piece together the puzzle of her past while also helping defend her family from implications in the recent contamination of a critical medicinal. Unaware, she seeks to rediscover herself, not knowing she's racing into the path of destruction, which may cause a cascading house of cards to fall apart. Rai may not know it now, but she has allies and foes in the most unlikely of places.

Matriarch Bauleel is the Temple leader in Raven's Call City, the largest in the colony, and a member of the secret society known only as the Core. Unable to bear the loss of her sister, she defied the Core's death sentence and instead chose to hide her among the Durmah with the aid of a loyal Guardian friend. In the meantime, she's dealing with the systemic poisoning of a key ingredient to the plague treatment. The Technicians Guild have also identified Terem Zebio, who is potentially plague-immune, and may be the long-awaited answer to her colony's ongoing nightmare.

Literary Oddities

Feeling in the mood for something altogether different? Are you sure? There's no turning back on this post.

See I discovered a quirky little online bookstore called AbeBooks. Sounds innocent enough, yes? They have a Weird Book Room. Let me show you some of their more 'refined' selections.

There are days when I'm feeling altogether too overwhelmed with others, and I think I need to read this:

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How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

Doug Richmond

I'm sure you've been there, yes? I mean, how better to not be bothered by those irritating pests who just won't leave you alone? Or perhaps you're in the mood for something else? I'm often feeling inadequate…just not cool enough. And they have this perfect book! But oh no! Personally…I'm devastated this one is currently out of stock. Surely you feel the same?

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Anybody Can Be Cool… But Awesome Takes Practice

Lorraine Peterson

I suppose we'll have to rely on other resources to gain our AWESOME skills. So let's plan some travel instead. I'd be riveted to each page of this timely tome on Ireland before our trip:

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Summer With the Leprechauns: A True Story

Tanis Helliwell

And I'm buying my son, who's in first grade but already mastering his multiplication skills this fabby looking Calculus guide:

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The Manga Guide to Calculus

Hiroyuki Kojima

How better to engage youth in the mighty yet daunting Calculus?

And now, mostly, just because I want my own minions, (c'mon, who doesn't?) I'm going to read this one. Admit it. You will too!

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How to Start Your Own Country

Erwin S. Strauss

Just promise me your new country and mine can reach peace accords. I'm sure we can quickly outmaneuver more volatile nations and rise in the ranks of the UN without too much hassle. I hear they let anyone in these days. I imagine we can even have our own Olympic presence, should we wish.

Let me know which tomes strike your fancy. They do have quite the unique selection.

Until next time.

The Joys of Editing

That's a trick post title, I'm not going to lie. Editing is hard work, plus it's a long and involved process. But I won't bemoan it here.

Instead I'm celebrating passing the halfway mark in editing the first book in my Depths of Memory series. Woot!

This is a final (read, 7th edit), pre-query edit for the book, before I send it off to my publisher and ask, pretty please ma'am, is it to your liking? If not, I'll have to seek other venues and that's always a nail-biter. I've done my best to remove things she finds tedious along the way. She's got a long list, and why not be proactive, after all?

This edit has been particularly grueling as I'm dealing with word count restrictions in the indie publishing world. This means I can't go beyond 110k per book in this series, if I hope to stay with the same publisher, or most indie pubs. So I've restructured things and taken out some content and moved it into the second book (basically one of the character's story lines), and that helped a bit. Even then, I was left with 140k words for this segment, and this simply would not do for indie, despite the book being sci-fi. Whoopsie? I believe in the process I've murdered some darlings, among other things, like siphoned off excess verbosity and other crap.

So, I continue to condense, refine, and toss out anything that doesn't add value. My hope is the end product will be harder hitting and deliver more bang for the buck, but only my preview readers will be able to tell me what they think of the before and after copies.

This is an extremely good lesson in keeping things short and to the point on the future installments as I finish writing them. And in knowing not just your audience, as in the readers, but also, the buying publishing house.

Next…more about the Depths of Memory series, or why I'm bothering editing these for your future reading pleasure.

On Writing and Epilepsy

Over the years I've often felt driven to write. The need is a form of possession, stemming from these visions, dreams, and concepts that slam into me, often in the middle of the night, with such raw power that I am unable to withstand them. When I give in and let the stories unfold it's so much easier, because I'm not fighting it. I'm riding the wave of the ecstatic process.

Sound familiar? Of course it does. All writers describe the creative process in much the same way. But something happened to me last year that made me step back and reevaluate my relationship to my writing and creativity.

Last year I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy from a head trauma when I was ten years of age. I'd fallen off a horse and went boom, broken my arm, and lost consciousness for a time. My arm was addressed, but the doctors didn't seem to care about my head. See, there was no obvious damage to my brain and this was the 80′s. I didn't have gran mal/tonic clonic seizures, nothing pronounced, so my brain was 'fine'. In effect, no one noticed.

But I did. My brain had odd quirks afterwards, but my ability to articulate the differences was difficult, and I didn't know any better. I went from a sloppy kid to a neat freak overnight. Occasional very brief petit mal/absence seizures left me reset, confused, and having to catch up in the conversation, irritated and wondering why I'd spaced out. I had déjà vu all the time. The seizures also caused me anxiety and irritability due to the aftereffects of the episodes on my brain.

Did this slow me down? Heck no! I've had a very successful career as a computer programmer, opened a small winery, and I've published one book with more to come. The worst of the epilepsy only caught up with me last year, when I'd finally pushed the wiring past the breaking point due to stress and the petit mal's grew in duration to where the disorder was finally diagnosable. Yay?

So now when I go back and remember the inspiration for my first published book, Ripples, things look a bit different. I was staying with my immediate and extended family at a beach house in Watsonville, California. I'd awoken in the middle of the night ridden by a 'nightmare', of an unknown, tentacled entity reaching out from the wall intent to abduct me away. This was the inspiration for Ripples, and, in retrospect, I recognize this was not a simple nightmare, but a seizure, for I was fully awake. Some of my seizures work that way, with vivid imagery I just can't shake. Gratefully, they don't last for long. But when they happen, they are incredibly and deeply detailed.

I am presently editing the first book in my Depths of Memory series. In this sci-fi series a human colony races to prove themselves and survive before more the powerful races can declare their attempt a failure and scrub the planet for higher beings use. In this book the main character, Rai Durmah, suffers from amnesia because others are trying to hide her try identity due to the crimes she committed. Unaware, she seeks to rediscover herself, not knowing she's racing them all into the path of destruction, which will cause cascading houses of cards to fall. I think my desire to incorporate the amnesia into her role, which is certainly integral into this series, comes from my research into trying to understand the lapses in my memory over the years due to my absence seizures. Oh what a tangled web we weave!

So, in the final analysis, does epilepsy make me more creative as a writer? Certainly no more so than any other human, but I feel it's driven and pushed me along a different path than others. We are all bound to find our own unique paths along our journey, and this has played a role in mine.

Surrounded by Books reviews Ripples

Blogger Cherie Reich of Surrounded by Books reviews my book Ripples today. Take a look and see what she thinks.

 

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