Sarah Butland's Blog, page 6

Discounting Ourselves

With all the hype of Black Friday, Cyber Monday and yes, even Giving Tuesday, the word “discount” was used frequently and, for the most part, I liked it. I found some deals for Christmas gifts, ideas that sparked my own interests and more until I used it in a different way though almost just as [...]

Let Me Count Your Sneezes

Admittedly, I’m weird. Delightfully, while I’m always weird, I can delight people with strange observations at the sneakiest of times. Take the market for example. Selling books at a Farmer’s Market, Christmas Market, Jamieson’s General Store’s first Saturday market makes sense, especially this time around. It makes more sense when you fill the table with [...]

Life Lesson’s Through Detours

Choosing being social over writing. Choosing errands over word count.Choosing life over imagination.Choosing to be authentically you even though it hurts like hell. We are all making choices. So many decisions, big and small daily, that can effect our future even more than our present. Deciding which action to prioritize, which friend to put first [...]

Writing Adjacent Exercises

I’ve been kind of lost, I admit, with respect to my writing. Attending groups, being inspired, feeling motivated and then just being so unfocused when I have the time to write that nothing actually gets written with one exception. To keep me writing, and feeling like I’m making progress, besides begging you all to read [...]

A Long Overdue Guest Blog Post by Lisa Sell

BLURB: Summer 1992: The Six, a group of teenagers, met in a disused mill every night. They thought they were invincible until Simon, a kind young man, disappeared.

Summer 2021: The Six – minus Simon – gather at the renovated mill for his memorial. The reunion begins and a deadly game of cat and mouse ensues. The body count rises. Someone is killing kindness. It’s cruel to be kind…

Killing Kindness

CHAPTER ONE

Three long, hot weeks ended in death. Teenage temperaments boiled over. Humidity slicked their skin with sweat. Blaming the heat for the group falling apart was too convenient. More than mugginess made Simon Pritchard snap.

The Six were united in a common purpose. Every summer holiday, activities took place, giving parents the chance to offload their offspring. Six sixteen-year-olds, fresh from finishing GCSEs, were the chosen ones. Selected teens earned cash helping to run Trillhaven’s holiday club alongside adult supervisors. The Six was hardly an inspired name, but the adults found it helped the assistants to bond. Being in a group made them feel elite. Those only a few years younger respected their authority.

Alex, Kat, Joe, Stevie, Erin, and Simon formed the gang of 1992. Kids hung around them, desperate to be a favourite. The adult helpers admired the teens’ work ethic while ignoring their night-time shenanigans. Young adults need to let loose, particularly when preparing for further education or work. A disused mill on the outskirts of Trillhaven became a playground. There they learnt how to tip from childhood over the cusp into adulthood. The Six discovered the joys of alcohol, accompanied by a love of music and sometimes each other. The owner of the mill watched from her cottage across the way. She stayed out of their business until she had no choice.

On the last evening of the holiday club, children danced to a DJ’s cheesy tunes. Nearly every local entertainment event was led by him. The Dorset town of Trillhaven lacked social opportunities. Everything was small, including the locals’ closed minds, overpopulated residential areas, and crammed schools. A blanket woven with community gossip and judgement spread wide over them all.

The pressure of small town life weighed on Simon. From experience, everyone expected him to be nice. If the dictionary had a visual representation of kindness, Simon’s photograph would be on display, not that he would’ve appreciated it. The young man hated his babyish face and impish grin. Sharper, more mature features might have allowed him to say no more often and for it to be accepted.

Simon’s friends believed his cup of kindness would always run over. That summer, they received it in abundance, until the boy broke. We all have darker natures we try to suppress. For a while, Simon kept his demons hidden.

Then came Friday 21 August 1992, when The Six disintegrated. Fights, betrayal, disappointment, and damning allegations signalled the end.

Kindness isn’t infinite. That night, Simon killed kindness. He might have murdered a man, too. Simon can’t tell anyone what happened. He was never seen again.

https://mybook.to/KillingKindness

Available in eBook, Kindle Unlimited, and paperback.

It Takes Two to Tamure

Memories on the Bounty by Janet Coulter Sanford is a special book for me for many reasons. One of which is that it was written by my grade eleven teacher who encouraged me to write. Second, because it’s a beautiful story of memories relived and the beautiful dance between friendship and history.

This non-fiction story of Nova Scotian history, is also the story of friendship, cherished memories and collecting valuable insight from those who won’t be able to forever tell their story. This collection of memories was written so well it felt like I was back in the room with dear friends, conversing about years gone past. Being unfamiliar with the stories of the Bounty, a ship with several tragic but intriguing tales, I was enthralled with this viewpoint of a bit of history of Nova Scotia.

Coulter Sanford danced through time, using the right words instead of fancy footwork and invites the reader to dance the tamure, a popular dance in Tahiti, with Roy, as the sailor relived his adventure days. The author, in her first book, captures the beauty of friendship, sailing and adventure in a way that seems personnel and therapeutic, for herself, Roy and the reader. Being the fly on the wall during years on the ship, decades of friendship and heartwarming moments made the read ever so touching for me. Especially with the author being someone who has taught me writing, encouraged expression on the page and always seemed to be more of a friend and equal than someone who was in charge of marking my tests.

In this, I felt like her teacher and being the one to be able to give insight into her writing style though, of course, she passed with flying colours of brilliance and awe. Published fittingly by a Nova Scotia publishing company, Nimbus, this story was complemented wonderfully by photos, newspaper clippings and sweet telegrams that sprinkle this adventure story with romance and hope.

This is why Memories on the Bounty was an honour for me to read. And it’s historic importance, journey of joy and friendship is why I think you should read it, too.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah Butland

*Amazon Canada affiliate links included

Yes, Yes and Yes to From Showing Off to Showing Up by Nancy Regan

From Showing Off to Showing Up: An Impostor’s Journey from Perfect to Present by Nancy Regan is not just a book – it’s an experience. And oh what an experience it was for me.

If you have read my previous two most recent blog posts, you know this book poked holes, and wholes, into memories I thought I had sorted. It filled gaps, reassured me and fulfilled me in ways that many other similar books (think Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert) have because of its authenticity and the full package that came with it.

You see, Nancy is personable, humbled and knows the value of conversation so reached out to me to say she was touched after reading my blog. (Fangirling – Nancy Regan read my blog!!) Now, this isn’t to say she’ll reach out to everyone but it seems she genuinely makes an effort to start conversing and truly appreciates anyone who takes the time to read her first book. And that’s another thing – while she has lived a full and meaningful life, this is her very first book and I really do hope it’s not her last.

I heard a lot about this book, some from mutual friends James Mullinger and Karen Dean, and just general hype about it for months before I finally actually bought it (committing long before, despite my ever growing To Be Read list). When I picked it up I took a beat, wondering if it would live up to the pomp and circumstance it received (admittedly, I normally avoid books that are praised so highly so quickly, focusing on the less publicized authors to give them a fighting chance).

All this to say, the book has changed me from the very first page. Another confession, I had no idea who Nancy was prior to this. Even Come From Away (England) James Mullinger knew more about her and talked of her fame in his Mullinger Meets Canadians PodCast. I was baffled that he was more familiar with her than I was, but only briefly. It’s a long story, but I was not one to watch such programs (my nose was more commonly found in a book!).

Alas, to sum this up and leave some room for some variety on all the other review sites, this is a book for anyone who feels like they are walking through a maze and not a labyrinth, who sometimes forgets to breath and needs some fresh air, or/and wants to learn more of the history of Nova Scotia, behind the scenes and right smack dab in the middle of one (politics included). To make a long story short – this story is for you!

And before you get the book, if you haven’t already, sign up to Nancy’s newsletter now! Go… now… you won’t regret it! Ahem.. .why are you still reading – go now!

Thanks for reading,

Sarah Butland
(Amazon Affiliate Links included)

From Showing Off to Showing Up by Nancy Regan

Still not yet a review, just a moment that I was inspired to share and show up for. There are many similarities I’m finding, within the stories in From Showing Off to Showing Up and this particular one brought back a situation I am not proud of. One, like Nancy’s, is a moment that ripped a thread in a friend ship that would never be the same and that I’ve held onto for far too long. A defining moment when I showed off and resented it immediately.

This goes back to a time when I was convinced I was special. More unique and destined for greater things than my friends, classmates, etc. I was young and naïve enough to not understand that almost everyone’s parents instilled this same promise/burden unto their child. Often times, putting all their eggs in one basket if you will, with the promise of greatness from their offspring.

So there I was, with friends and classmates, picking up garbage to clean up a park or playground with our school. Learning a lesson of giving back and cleaning up. I’m not sure what exactly inspired it but it was a fulfilling day… until the local newspaper reporter showed up. We were supposed to be doing all of this because it was the right thing to do, not for celebrity sake but there he or she was to take a picture of a young student in action, doing their part to give back to society.

And there I was, not being the one interviewed for the story despite being the “special” one, the aspiring journalist, the constant writer, the one striving for fame even at a young age. Unfortunately instead of just standing their in silence, or in pride of the close friend who was chosen (and is oh so very special, always was) I pouted and said aloud, “That’s not fair.” That may not be verbatim but whatever I said was hurtful and heard. Repeated by others who quickly scattered, giving me enough space to stand in misery and regret. I was trying to show up and was mad that no one recognized my future potential. It really had nothing to do with my friend, it had everything to do with my fear.

This created a chasm that wasn’t easily but was eventually repaired, it was just never the same. I realized much later that it was an opportunity to show up and be excited for my friend instead of so self-centered for myself.

And that is a reason, of many, I recommend From Showing Off to Showing Up by Canadian author Nancy Regan. Stay tuned for a full review later.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah Butland

PS: Please share a story if you can relate to this one.

Taking Action Based on From Showing Off to Showing Up by Nancy Regan

I heard so much of this book and the fabulous author that I had to get it. I wasn’t exactly sure it would be for me, however, as I naively never really saw myself as a show off or having the need to be a great public speaker. I was wrong. I hate and love the book for that.

I’m not far into it, this is not a review by any means, but I thought I would share my action steps with you and, as much as that terrifies me, hope you’ll follow along. I won’t be publishing all the steps, you’ll need to get your own copy to do them all (Amazon Canada affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3PXPUgp), but this one was early on in the book and is one I’m struggling with.

Give your fear a name.

I had to stop and think about that one because I often feel brave. Thinking about it, however, scares me and had me come to realize I am scared of a lot of things. Not snakes or spiders but… me. And here’s what I named it:

Commitment Obsessed Loving Eternally (COLE)
What this means to me is I’m fearful of never being enough to keep my loved ones close. With a long history of goodbyes, when I meet someone I connect with I obsess with trying to impress them to the point where I’m too exhausted to do unto me.
I’ve always recognized it though never really saw it as a fear until now.
COLE makes me hesitate to promote myself but quick to celebrate everyone else’s success. It encourages me to hide behind a computer, hoping that others will find and celebrate me without my needing to beg. I count the likes or obsess over the non-likes and worry it means I’m not being seen. COLE is a burden I obsess over without realizing it and the one friend I would be glad to say farewell to.

My first attempt at a letter from my fear:

Dear Sarah,

Cole here, I know you’ve been listening to me and obsessing over every word. Even on those days you’re feeling confident and loved, hearing the kind words, my voice is louder. The more you listen the louder I get and the stronger I am. You’re doing all the right things to keep yourself from taking a bigger risk.
Leaping is scary, especially if no one is there to catch you.
Just keep distracting yourself with living through others and I’ll stay by your side. I will never leave you so I love what you’re doing. Keep searching for recognition and respect from an outside source because once you realize you are enough you won’t be able to hear me. You don’t want to lose someone who has always been in your life, do you?

Forever yours,

Cole

PS: Where would you be without me?

Thanks for reading and being on this journey with me. Let me know the name of your fear in the comments.

Sarah

The Power of Literacy

If you know me at all, it comes as no surprise that I love books, reading, writing and promoting them. I also have a son who goes by “Wild Willie” for his book review YouTube channel. Nova Scotia is also our home.

So… volunteering for River John, Nova Scotia’s Read by the Sea Literary Festival which promotes Canadian authors, books and readers of all ages with free events for everyone, was a natural fit. For me, it was no question that I would do all I could within my schedule to promote, attend meetings, decorate tables, hang banners and yes, interview a couple of the amazing authors in attendance who impress me greatly. To say I was nervous about that part would be an understatement. At one point, my son came up to me and asked “Are you up next?” just minutes before I was, in fact, up.

Which brings me to another amazing point. Not only did I volunteer and fight through exhaustion of life to put on a smile, take photos, ensure people were comfortable (sorry about the size, Morgan Murray), my son, my 12 year old son in the first week of his summer vacation, tagged along. But tagged alone is also an understatement. He was up and at em, eager to do whatever needed to be done and fought through his exhaustion to sell swag, carry boxes and chairs, hang banners and yes, network. He was schmoozing with so many beloved authors, some he isn’t quite old enough to read yet, and even declined ice cream when he got home – saying he just didn’t want to move.

Why am I sharing this? Get to the point already? Here’s a few:

*My son is a superstar on and off the stage (he made friends, fans and is still working on his fortune, but soon after was contacted by a radio host to chat about his BookTube channel – which, by the way, is just under 250 subscribers as I write this)
*I would never have been as brave and cavalier as my son meeting famous authors like Lisa Harrington, Lawrence Hill, Gail Francis, Morgan Murray and Jon Tattrie. I’m still not.
*Fight through the exhaustion. If you are doing something you love, it’s entirely worth it to feel like a zombie at the end of the day and skip the ice cream.
*The volunteers of any event work tirelessly on their feet, use their skills to take it all in stride and ensure things go well despite the hoops and are amazing people.
*Lisa Harrington, her daughter Alexandra Hill, Lawrence Hill, Gail Francis, Morgan Murray and Jon Tattrie are amazing people you should support, always.
*Be brave. While I was busy not talking about myself, others were talking about me. That’s ok, it was all good, at least the bits I heard. And being in front of a crowd next to people you look up to – completely daunting but entirely invigorating!
*Lana Shupe is as amazing in person as she is online. Such a truly authentic kind hearted soul. And her husband is pretty awesome, too.
*I finally understand the caveat commonly used for Oscar or Grammy speeches of: I’m sure I’m forgetting someone and will regret it for ages, won’t keep you any longer. I’ll thank them when I see them.
*Get out and live – I met so many Facebook friends in person, finally, and loved being surrounded by good people with the same love of Canadian authors as me!

^And yes, for Wild Willie to gain his fortune, I have included some Amazon Affiliate Links throughout this post.

Oh, and all the while I was chatting books and authors, the ARC of my newest novel Gaining It At 41 awaited me. It was the perfect way to end an amazing and unforgettable weekend at Read by the Sea.

It’s every year so I hope to see you there next year.

Thanks for reading (by the sea),

Sarah Butland