Daisy Harris's Blog, page 41

The Care and Feeding of Trolls

I've been a promo-machine of late, getting the word out about my book, drumming up attention– y'know…the usual. This is the first time I've really set out to market hard and I gotta say– it's weird. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.

Sure, the response to Mercury Rising has been great! It's safe to say that my publicity efforts are working. By "publicity," I don't just mean the hard-sell either. I've been putting effort out into the world for a while now: doing videos, joining group blogs, etc…

But here's the thing– when you put yourself out there, people react. Furthermore, their reaction isn't always positive.

Take YouTube: This is the outlet I feel the most insecure about. I kinda suck at making videos, but more than that, I suck at having a thick skin.

Few people find my blog randomly. Most people end up here because they meet me on Twitter, via the romance reading/writing community. But YouTube is skeery! All manner of unwashed masses watch videos for a million wacked-out reasons! For example, I recently discovered a group of older gentlemen enjoy watching videos of young women with braces.

Eeeeeewwwww.

OK, that's a judgement to say ew. But still, "Ew."

Anywhoo– I'm finding more and more that when you put yourself out in the public sphere, not everyone likes you. In part, this is my fault. I'm not the world's most likable person. I veer into controversial topics, run my mouth off, crack off-color jokes. But I really think the occasional troll is part and parcel with being "famous." (OK, fine…not "famous" but at least on the map.)

I've divided negative feedback into three major sections in order to deal with it. Hope this is helpful to any of you in the same boat!

Category 1: Flat out trolls

Do you know them/are they in any way important to your career: No

Are they likely to become a reader: No

Are they making any manner of valid point that needs to be addressed (this is the tough one): No

Course of Action: BLOCK

Yes, if someone is a true troll, block their asses. You do not need their support or censure. They're sucking energy you need to become famous. Just say no.

Category 2: Frenemy

Do you know them/are they in any way important to your career: Yes (hence the problem)

Are they likely to become a reader: Prolly not

Are they making any manner of valid point that needs to be addressed: Generally not

Course of Action: IGNORE

The best thing you can do in this situation is ignore comments you don't agree with. I suppose you could engage and hope you get publicity from it, but that's a risky course of action. My advice is to turn the other cheek.

This category includes any and all negative reviews, followers and friends with different political opinions from your own.

Category 3: Potential Supporter

Do you know them/are they in any way important to your career: Yes (or they could be)

Are they likely to become a reader: Maybe, or they might bring you readers

Are they making a valid point that needs to be addressed: Quite possibly

Course of Action: Address their concerns in a succinct, kind, respectful way. If possible, find common ground.

Some misunderstandings are actually misunderstandings. Those may be worth addressing. Briefly.

What do you guys think? Are these decent delineations? How do you decide when to engage and when to block?

Six Sentence Sunday: MERCURY RISING!

"But, I would have thought," The god bucked and shifted, turned on, but not quite sure what to do about it. "I mean, that you normally, um …"

"Yeah, I tend to be a bottom." Dillon leaned over Mercury and nibbled a path up his neck. When he reached the flap of the god's ear, he bit down and tugged. "But tonight I'm feeling …" Another grind of his hips. "… versatile."

Want some more?? Buy it here!

In Support of Judy Mays and the "Type of People" Who Read her Books

I've been loving all the support for Judy Mays, the schoolteacher in Pennsylvania being harassed for writing erotic romance. However, I wish fewer people qualified their support by pointing out they "don't necessarily condone" the type of books she writes.

Well, I support the books she writes! And her readers! And I made a video to set the record straight about the type of perverts who read her "racy" books.

And also– watch this video!! A fantastic showing of support for Judy Mays from one of her former students. Granted, he says he "doesn't necessarily condone what the characters in her books do," but I forgive him for that because he's clearly a young guy and has no idea about the seedy world of middle-aged women.

Could You Be a Little Less…You?

I've got a bee in my bonnet today about "being yourself." Maybe the braces are taking me back to high school or a "Things Not to Do on Twitter" blog post this morning rubbed me the wrong way. More than anything, it's probably a comment I got today on YouTube that pissed me off.

The comment read. "you are so damn cute…you're great, but watch the narcissism…weave in a littel mystery..maybe a little Anais Nin…"

Now here's the thing– I've had a number of ex-boyfriends who've told me almost the exact same thing. I should be more demure, a little quieter. Taller. Have darker hair. Behave myself.

And I told them the same thing I would like to tell this YouTube commenter. "If you want someone different than me– GO FIND SOMEONE WHO'S NOT ME!" How many effing women are on YouTube? There are plenty of people to watch, most of which are more technologically savvy and better scripted. If I'm not entertaining enough, no one's making you watch me!

Here's the thing– I know who I am. I'm a brash, tiny, risktaker. I drink more than I should, write filthy smut, cook like a domestic goddess, and can't file worth crap. To try to be anything else is pointless. Because as Dolly Parton once said, "Find out who you are, and do it on purpose."

Besides, if I wanted to play it safe, I wouldn't have chosen to write erotic romance. Duh.

I feel similarly about rules dictating what people should and should not say on Twitter. For example– curse words and oversharing. Sure, if you're drumming up business for your law firm you may not want to gripe about how long it's been since you've gotten laid. But if you're an erotica writer? Or a porn star? Heck, if you're a porn star you can probably overshare all you want and no one will mind. In fact, your followers might feel gypped if they DON'T hear raunchy details.

Everyone has a line about what they will and won't share on social media. For example, everyone who cares to wonder knows I'm not a fan of vibrators. However, I don't think I'd ever tweet about a serious illness in the family or a chronic disease I had. That just wouldn't be "me."

You don't have to make everyone happy all of the time. In fact, if you try, you'll just piss off the people who matter most.

And hey! That's the moral of my Thursday release, MERCURY RISING!

(I love it when a blog post comes full circle.:)

What's something you do on social media that everyone says you shouldn't? What boundary do you have for your personal brand that another person might not share?

Masturbation and Porn Survey Results!

Abstract:

As porn becomes increasingly mainstream and readily available online, explicit sexual videos are becoming a more acceptable part of the female arousal arsenal. However, it's unclear whether women use porn the same way as men. It's generally accepted that men masturbate while watching porn. In this study, we set out to ask, "Do women masturbate while watching porn?" and "How does the female relationship to porn differ from the male one?"

Results were collected using a multiple choice Survey Monkey survey, and analyzed with Daisy Harris' brain. Out of 125 respondents, 20 were male and 105 were female. We found that indeed most men (88.9%) who watch porn do masturbate while watching. However, many women (54.3%) who watch porn masturbate while doing so as well. It was pointed out by several respondents that the authors failed to include the options for always/sometimes/never, which may have adversely effected study results.

As with most things, the devil's in the details. Men were almost twice as likely to have paid money for porn (52.6 vs. 23.8%), which may demonstrate the higher value men place on porn as a masturbatory tool.

Introduction:

Daisy Harris' twitter followers are total sluts who toss around porn links like confetti at a redneck wedding. However, the authors have noticed a different tenor to some of the links posted my males verses females. Oftentimes, porn posted by men for a male audience displays more aggressive sex, less well-lit, and, in the case of cam4, more interactive. Women and men posting pictures for women favor stills, short clips, MUCH more flattering lighting.

As more and more women set out to write male-male romance, the authors have wondered whether women can fully understand male sexual arousal. Sure, women may watch porn– but how? Why? What do they do with these images and how do they see porn as a sexual aid?

Our hypothesis is that women watch porn differently than do men– that the interplay of visual stimulus and sexual arousal is fundamentally different between the sexes.

Methods:

Over the course of a few days, 125 respondents (20 male, 105 female) filled out our Survey Monkey survey. Response rate was 100%. The authors corralled these responded from Twitter and Facebook.

Results:

For both sexes, the majority (over 60%) of respondents were between the ages of 25 and 40.

85% of male respondents professed to watching porn for sexual gratification or arousal, as did 71.4% of female respondents. On the other hands, 60% of male respondents read erotica for sexual gratification or arousal, whereas in female respondents, that number was 87.6%.

Men were more likely than women to masturbate while watching porn (88.9 vs. 54.3%), and were also more likely to have paid cash money for porn (52.6 vs. 23.8%.)

Women were more likely to use a vibrator during masturbation (61 vs. 5%) and used this device on the clitoris 65.9% of the time. The vadge came in second (39.6%) for women and the butt third (11.5%.)

While male results to the "where do you use a vibrator question" were interesting– they were not statistically significant because 1. there were too few male respondents, and 2. two male respondents admitted to using a vibrator in their vagina. I'm going to assume those respondent meant their partners' vaginas and move on…

OK– fine– I will say a couple more things about the male responses to the vibrator placement questions. Firstly, men were more likely (66.7 vs 22.9% ) to respond "Egads, not applicable! What kind of perv came up with this survey!" This may have been because it was the only "not applicable" answer. Or it may have spoken to a deeper discomfort with the idea of vibrators as sexual aids (as opposed to porn.)

Drat…that's "discussion"…must focus!

Oh– and men were less likely to use a vibrator on the clit than other locations (I'm assuming on their partners.) Heads up, gentlemen– ladies like it on the clit!

Finally, while overall respondents purchased erotic romance most often through Kindle or Amazon (58.6%) and the fewest through BandN/Nook (21.9%) men purchased as much erotic romance at brick and mortar booksellers (40%) and from "other" sites (40%) as through Amazon (40%.)

Discussion:

There were many problems with this study. Firstly, I should have included questions about still images. I heard from several men that they prefer pictures to video, so clearly I missed out on an opportunity to further science. Second– I clearly should have included options for always/sometimes/never for "do you masturbate while watching porn." One male respondent commented to me, "That's like asking if you use a steering wheel while driving." Whereas several of my female respondents wished they could have qualified their answers with a "sometimes" response.

That said, our results show a couple of interesting things. 1. A lot more women masturbate while watching porn than I had previously thought. It's clearly a valid part of the wanking arsenal for those who enjoy it. 2. The link between porn watching and masturbation is indeed stronger in men– even in a completely non-random sampling of Daisy Harris' twitter followers who are arguably all pervs.

And men don't know what to do with a vibrator.

Finally, this study has led me to wonder– if only 60% of the men following me read erotic literature, why the hell are they following me? The only reasonable answer is that they are wanking over my avitar.

Which leads me to my final conclusion– men are indeed more visually stimulated than women. Even sexually voracious, porn-loving, wank-happy women. Sure, we may watch porn. We may even masturbate to it…sometimes. But we're not terribly likely to pay for it.

This might also explain why so much porn is male-POV-dominated. A lot of women I interact with bemoan that there isn't more porn that women would enjoy. The thing is– if women are not the paying customer, I can see why the product isn't made.

Well, that's what I take from my findings…what do you think? A fair assessment? What should I ask on my next survey? What areas shall the authors address for further study?

X-Rated Mercury Rising Excerpt!

Warning: This excerpt involved man on man smooching, groping, as well as what those things lead to. Read at your own risk!

Also, if you're a blood relative of mine, turn back now!! Don't say I didn't warn you.

****

Dillon stepped off the water-taxi onto the Solstice's custom-built staff entrance. The pockmarked kid guarding the door to the ship's interior raised an intercom to his mouth.

"Hey, give me a second before you call up!" Dillon shrugged his backpack off his shoulder and then tugged his T-shirt off. He worked his arms into his uniform, leaving the front unbuttoned, and flashed the ID hanging from his pocket at the boy. "I'll let the boss know I'm here."

The kid shrugged. "Lanus should still be supervising the cocktail party clean up, but they posted a list of assignments in Ballroom Seven."

Dillon nodded and searched through his bag for his phone. It flashed about fifteen text messages, all from his boss asking when the hell he was gonna get there. His email, on the other hand, was still empty. He'd just have to hope his professors were cool. With a shrug, he slipped the phone back into his pocket and walked through the door separating the salty harbor from the dank, narrow hallways behind the kitchens.

The paint might once have been turquoise, but had taken on a tannish-gray hue. Beads of condensation dripped down the walls. Abandoned paper bags and half-full beer bottles with floating cigarette butts lined the sides.

He sank his hand into his backpack and pulled out the crisp box of Camels he'd bought expressly for the trip. Dillon didn't smoke as a general rule, but working gigs for Lanus called for every possible mechanism to blow off steam.

He tapped the lid of the box on his hand. The hoodlums he'd hung out with as a kid had done that, and Dillon had picked up the habit, though he had no idea what the purpose was.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't see you."

At the comment, Dillon looked up to see a guy in an Italian suit standing in an open doorway—probably one of the conference attendees. His thick black hair flopped at odd angles and bags hung under his otherwise bright eyes. He towered in the low-ceilinged hallway, broad shoulders contrasting with a slim body. The guy steadied himself on the wall with a hand, but he didn't look drunk, just dead tired.

"No worries. You want one?" Dillon positioned a cigarette on his lips and held out the pack in the man's direction.

The man's midnight blue gaze lingered a second too long. "Um, yes. That would be great." He licked his lips.

The devil riding his shoulder, Dillon approached the guy. He pulled a cigarette out of the package and lifted it to the politician's almost-pretty face.

With a shy grin, Mr. Sexy bit the cigarette out from between his fingers. He smelled like scotch and privilege and all kinds of wrong.

Dillon brushed against him when he rose on the balls of his feet to give him a light. He sparked his own and leaned against the wall beside the man—maybe the guy was a diplomat—to take a drag. The nicotine sizzled along Dillon's nerves, making him shaky and excited, and eager to see what the other guy did next.

Mr. Handsome sucked in a drag too. Smoke lurched from his nose, and he bent double, hacking.

In a fit of machismo, Dillon grabbed the cigarette from the dumb-ass's grip and crushed the ember between his calloused fingers. Then he used the guy's frantic coughing as an excuse to rub his back. "You okay?"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." The guy's hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out a flask. With a sheepish grin, he took a small sip. His eyes closed in ecstasy. "Oh, that's better."

Dillon snorted. "Why'd you take it then?" The guy didn't seem the type to harbor bad habits. More like an early-to-bed, early-to-rise type.

Mr. Gorgeous gave a self-deprecating smile and took another sip. The roped muscles of his neck led down to pecs visible even under his shirt. "It seemed appropriate."

Another snicker escaped Dillon's nose. "We're in a loading dock." He cast a look at the garbage lining the walls.

The diplomat's serious expression told Dillon he hadn't gotten the joke. "My point exactly." He drank again, relaxing as the liquor colored his cheeks.

Dillon waved his hand in a gesture for him to pass the flask. "I can't argue with that logic." He tilted the metal and felt Glenlivet warm his throat. He hadn't eaten in hours and the high-end liquor tasted sinful. "Thanks."

"No worries."

Thumbing the hem of his shirt, Dillon waited for the diplomat to ask why he wasn't upstairs cleaning, but Mr. Tall, Dark and Edible didn't ask. The tension in the guy's shoulders made Dillon suspect he was concerned about the same type of question.

He handed the flask back and their fingers met. The flush on the diplomat's cheeks darkened. Looking around nervously, the guy scooted his back down the wall a few inches and casually stepped his legs apart.

Dillon smiled.

The stance made the politician seem shorter, but stretched him out, so he filled the hallway like an open invitation. Not saying a word, Dillon stepped into the space between the guy's legs. His forefinger slipped between the politician's lowest shirt buttons and hooked into the top of his pants. With a half-smile, Dillon raised his chin.

He waited for the politician to kiss him first. Guys like this were almost never openly gay. Sometimes that was the appeal. But Dillon always felt the need to push, to make them admit they wanted it, if only for a night. "Tell me you're hot for me, " Dillon whispered.

Mr. Luscious drew closer. Panic flashed in his blue eyes, fear mingled with heat. "I'm engaged," he whispered, but his already damp lips told Dillon he didn't care and didn't expect Dillon to either.

"Aren't all of you?"

Mr. Beautiful smiled. "Yes, probably."

Dillon tugged the guy's hips forward, thrilled when the man's over-sized hand touched his bare stomach. Heart pounding, he watched Mr. Hottie's eyes trace his torso.

"Do you want to touch me more?" He didn't hide the smirk in his voice.

The politician's mouth hung open and he nodded slowly. His hungry gaze didn't leave Dillon's six-pack.

With a grin, Dillon slipped his waistband lower. He fed the guy's hand into his pants, gasping when cool fingers wrapped around his hard-on.

Their lips locked. The politician shoved his tongue down Dillon's throat. Apparently, he wasn't the first guy Mr. Delicious had made it with in a deserted hallway. The politician wove a hand into his hair. His strong grip wrenched Dillon's erection from base to tip.

He moaned into the politician's mouth. The guy was good, so good. He clenched his muscles against the come already climbing his shaft.

The guy slid his touch lower and cupped Dillon's balls. His finger rubbed at Dillon's "taint" and searched for the pucker beyond. The movement forced Dillon onto his toes. Pale fingers tore the shirt off his shoulders, and perfect teeth closed on his neck.

Dillon thrust his hips so that his naked cock rubbed on the guy's dress shirt. His fear of being caught mingled with his arousal to create a high even more intoxicating than a drug. He swept his grip up the guy's back to clutch his shoulders.

The politician's free hand wrapped to his ass and squeezed. He scooted down the wall in order to pinch the ring on Dillon's nipple between his teeth and pull.

His control fading fast, Dillon bucked into the guy's grip. He placed his hands on the wall on either side of the larger male's head and kissed him, gasps escaping his lips.

"Do you like that?" An edge of conceit flavored the politician's voice.

Dillon wanted to say no, but the politician chose that moment to snatch one of Dillon's hands away from the wall and press it to his own crotch, and Dios Mio, but the guy was hung. His fingers wrapped around the manaconda through Mr. Perfect's pants. Dillon's groan rose higher and his balls tucked up under his body. Ninety-nine percent of the time with closeted guys, he was the one in charge of his hook-ups. But this guy smoothed his touch under Dillon's waistband and into his sweatpants, like he had every right to fuck him six ways from Sunday.

"You think you're all that, huh?" he said between groans, trying to regain the upper hand.

The politician licked his lips and watched Dillon's face. He tunneled a finger into his ass, and then added a second. "And a bag of potato chips."

His breath whooshed out and his cock pulsed. Dillon's knees buckled so that only the other man's grip held him upright. White-hot spasms locked on his groin and shot up his spine, bringing a strangled cry to his throat. Dillon buried his teeth in the man's shoulder and shot goopy strands into his hand.

The guy kissed him—lips soft, adoring, like they were in love or something. Before Dillon could catch his breath, Mr. Hunky unzipped his pants and his cock fell into Dillon's palm. The politician spun them so Dillon's back was to the wall. He gripped himself at the base, and wove pale fingers into Dillon's hair, pulling Dillon's face toward his crotch.

Dillon looked at the purpled cock, and then up at the politician's expectant expression. He narrowed his eyes and yanked his head out of the other man's grip. "What the hell are you doing?" Fair was fair, but the guy was being fucking presumptuous. Not to mention pushy.

Mr. Conceited frowned and snatched Dillon's wrist, even while he curled his fingers tightly around his dick. "You know what I want." He wrapped a hand behind Dillon's neck again, pressing. "Now hurry. Someone could come any minute. And I want it to be me."

My New Cover!

Mercury Rising, my new male-male romance, comes out Tuesday!

Wanna see the pretty?

A born charmer, Mercury the Messenger finds his legendary abilities to win people over challenged by the quarrelling attendees of the Deities International Conference and Kibbitz. But his skills at diplomacy are stretched to the breaking point when he discovers his chance tryst is with none other than his assistant – just as his arranged fiancée arrives at the scene.

Dillon Rodriguez, Mercury's executive aide and a soon-to-be MBA student, refuses to be the closeted god's side-dish. But when an accident at the conference strands the god in the human world, Dillon agrees to act as his guide.

Traveling from San Diego down the Mexican coast to Cabo San Lucas with Dillon at his side, Mercury experiences a side of life he never imagined. However, if he wants to earn the love of the one man who matters, he must finally stop trying to please every one else.

Twitter Tutorial #3: Hashtags

Hi guys! Another tutorial for you– this one about the fascinating world of #hashtags!!

What's Hot and Not in Erotic Romance

I'm a pretty insightful person. Sure, I also have flaws: I'm not organized, or calm, or a good driver. But I am remarkably skilled at gauging what's going to happen and feeling the pulse of the general public. It's probably because I'm so unorganized that I accurately read the signs. Go-with-the-flow people need to be able to correctly interpret the flow.

It's with this in mind that I present you with my current forecast of what's going to grown and shrink in erotic romance in the near future. Ignore my prophecies if you will, but don't say I didn't warn you!

NOT: Menages with brothers.



Um, can you say "incest?" Eeeeeeeew! How could we have ever been into that?

HOT: Incest!



Mmmmmm.… How could we ever have forgotten that most taboo of all tropes? The Flowers in the Attic generation's ready to go there again. Don't believe me if you don't wanna. I'm just callin' 'em like I see 'em.

NOT: Steampunk.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of people lurve steampunk. And I think it will continue to be a strong niche market among the die hard fans. But I read an article recently calling steampunk "the trend that never really happened" and it rang true to me. I don't think steampunk is going to tank the way menages will, but neither do I believe it'll get as big as folks predicted.

HOT: Zombies and Steins.



Steins? Yeah– I made that up. My most recent WIP featured re-animated humans called steins, so of course I'm hoping the trope takes off. I may not be the person to benefit from the Frankenstein/zombie revival, but someone will. Readers are searching for the new vampire, and zombies are looking like the contenders.

NOT: Chicks with Dicks in M-M

Male-male romance readers are getting more and more savvy, and with all the new books flooding the market, they're not going to settle for stories that simply replace the heroine with a dude.

HOT: Gender-Bendy Men in Straight Romance

Like many of my predictions, this comes from what I see in youth culture. Did you know that on the new Nickelodeon show "Monster High" the Medusa character is a hunky guy? Think about it– a gorgeous boy with snakes for hair, who wears badass shades and when he takes them off, you turn to stone!! HOT!!

A lot of the traditional female tropes no longer work for heroines– virginity, vanity, being chased by multiple suitors. But those same things can be scorching for heroes. Also– Gen-Xers grew up on gender-reversing shows like Who's the Boss, Remington Steele, and Scarecrow and Mrs. King. My call– more men with guyliner.

NOT: Sex for sex's sake.

Other than incest, most erotica readers can't be shocked anymore. They're not going to settle for poorly-written erotica, or gratuitous smexxing.

HOT: Stories that rock.

Readers will always enjoy a well-written book. And I think some authors are strong enough to start their own trends. But let's face it, there's always a zeitgeist, and authors will generally do better is they listen to the whispers of pop-culture.

What do you guys think? What do you want to read more of? What are you sick of? What's on the way in and what's on the way out? I wanna know!

Twitter Tutorial #2

My second Twitter Tutorial. This one's about Tweetdeck and Hootsuite! (And about shortening links.)