Daisy Harris's Blog, page 40

The Lamest Apocalypse I've ever Seen

Dude– Rapture, my ass! Giant billboards or not, nothing the frak happened in the last 24 hours to signify rapture. And sure, I didn't really expect god to come down to earth or people to rise body and soul to heaven. But…but…a decent prank? Some crazy people with signs outside the white house?

For the love of Pete, I asked a college kid yesterday if they were going to any cool pre-rapture parties and he didn't even know what I was talking about. Kids today! They're so busy with their *jobs* and *plans.* They can't be bothered to get stoned off their faces and have irresponsible end-of-the-world sex.

Frankly, I'm embarrassed for Americans, if not the human race. A few weeks ago, Osama bin Laden got murdered and people took to the streets (at least in Washington.) Effin Jesus was supposed to come today and no one even bothered holding a boom box over the head playing, "In Your Eyes."

When I was in High School the world was supposed to end, and we took that tish seriously. Everyone hung out after school listening to "Forever Young" and bearing our souls. It was all very Breakfast Club.

After all, isn't that what the apocalypse is about? Focusing on what's really important, pondering your mortality, making a big deal out of an artificial date so as to all think about mortality at the same time? Personally, I enjoyed this year's rapture. I faced some things about myself that I'd long felt guilty about…and decided, "meh." That was nice, but I might have liked to do it more publicly, in some kind of large-scale emotional demonstration.

But nooooooo. We're all too busy to pay attention to the end of the world. …gee, you'd think we didn't take the whole thing seriously.

Guest Post: Danica Avet!

Today I welcome onto the blog my friend and critique partner, Danic Avet! Give her a warm welcome, folks!!

*****

Well, it took me long enough to come up with a topic for today's post. Seriously, I must've brainstormed for a month, wrote a crappy post about violence and then had an idea two days before the post was due. Yeah, I work on a deadline. Do I deal well under pressure? I'll let you decide.

I was going to talk about violence in my books because someone gave me a verbal review of my first novel, Ruby: Uncut and on the Loose, saying the book was too gory for her. When I think "gory" I'm thinking of the Saw movies. You know, having to mutilate yourself to save your life. I would promise you that none of my books contain violence, but that would be a lie. But when I thought of today's post, I realized that she might have meant the sex.

What gave me that idea? Well, my best friend in the whole wide world told me something a while back that made me nearly pee myself laughing. She's a big reader, always has been. We've shared books back and forth for nearly twenty years, so when I became a published writer, I just knew she was going to hop on my books and ride them like a bronco. That didn't happen.

Ruby: Uncut and on the Loose came out in January, Succubus-in-Waiting came out in February, and Lifestyles of the Fey and Dangerous came out in April. She bought the books (because she's a good friend who wants me to be rich *snort*), but didn't read them. She kept putting it off. She had to clean house. She had to watch her kids. Her kids wouldn't leave her alone. She had to go to a birthday party. You get the idea?

Finally, about a month ago, she started reading the first book in the series and finished it. Her surprised e-mail to me was sort of like, I finished reading Ruby and it was great! I was worried about the steamy romance scenes. I guess had a mental block about reading it because you're my best friend and I didn't want to picture you having sex. Or something like that. That's the part where I nearly peed myself.

Some people are uncomfortable reading detailed sex scenes. I understand that, but I like writing and reading them. Does that mean I picture the author performing those acts? Um, no. I'm the star in all of my readings and writings. In fact, unless the scene is particularly strange or very different, I don't think about the author at all until I'm finished reading the book. (Unless the story is horrible, then I make a mental note to never read that author again.) I also don't want my readers to picture me doing these things. Really, why should they? I can't turn into a tiger, I'm only 5'4" instead of 6'0", and I'm about as graceful as a bull in a China shop. I'd make a very poor heroine in a novel. Psst…that's why I'm a writer.

Then you have the inevitable family members who read your books and tell you the next time they see you, "You are so bad! Oh my God, I was blushing! Where did you learn all that stuff?" And trust me, it isn't like I have kinky stuff going on in my books; it's just old-fashioned, dirty sex. On the other hand, my friend said the sex scenes weren't what she thought they'd be and she enjoyed the book. And as fabulous as I know I am *snort* I doubt she had to try very hard to avoid picturing me as the heroine.

So now I have to know…when you're reading a good, steamy sex scene, do you imagine yourself as one of the characters? Do you imagine yourself a spectator during sex scenes? Or do you think of the person who wrote the book? Leave a comment and I'll pick someone to win an e-book of Lifestyles of the Fey and Dangerous.

*****

Blurb:

It isn't every day a fairy gets an assignment with only one outcome: her death. As an assassin with the Eturian army, Noelani "Shade" Fayard has killed more than her share of traitors, but for the first time in centuries, she hesitates to take out her target. The Halfling marked for death makes her wonder what life would be like if it weren't for the blood staining her hands and soul. He makes her feel for the first time in centuries.

Malachi Cromwell, a former Eturian general, wants to reclaim his place in The Veil, not fall in lust or love. He knows better than to let his heart take the lead, especially when he discovers Lani was sent to kill him, just like she'd killed the very people who held his fate in their hands.

Can they overcome their distrust and bitter pasts to forge a future together?

*****

Author bio:

Danica Avet was born and raised in the wilds of South Louisiana (that would be somewhere around Houma) where mosquitoes are big enough to carry off small children and there are only two seasons: hot and hotter. With a BA in History, she figured there were enough fry cooks in the world and decided to try her hand at writing. For eight years she played at writing, but in 2008, she decided to get serious and began down the rocky road to publication.

Unmarried with no children, Danica is the lucky pet of a compulsively needy dog and two cats. The pitter-patter of little feet has been known to make her break out into a cold sweat.

Writing is how she gives the voices in her head a way out. They speak to her constantly wanting their stories told and she does her best to accommodate them. She writes paranormal romance and may eventually branch out to contemporaries. When she isn't writing, working, or contemplating the complexities of the universe, she spends time gathering inspiration from her insane family, reads far more than any sane person would want to, and watches hot burly men chase an oblong ball all over a field.

Six Sentence Sunday: Mercury Rising Sequel

Who knows if this will even make it into the final cut? The sequel's called ACHILLES HEELS right now, but I may change the central focus to the Thor, Loki, Vesta threesome. I'm having so much fun with it.

THREESOMES WITH THOR, anyone?

*****

Loki bounded onto the mattress, hands cuffed behind his back. He grinned from ear to ear, thrilled as always to be naked and at her mercy.

Thor, on the other hand, growled.

She slapped a furry butt cheek playfully. "Quiet, slave!" Vesta fought to keep a straight face.

A Game of Pants

In life, I'm a panster extraordinaire. Most of the things I've done were accomplished with little or no forethought, and to be honest, I don't see any correlation with thinking ahead and the quality of the outcome.

Take my house, for example. The husband and I chose it after only having seen a handful of other places. It cost a little more than we'd been hoping, so we waved our contingencies, hoping to get the jump on other people who were bidding up the price.

(It was like this, but much, much, much smaller.)

(For those of you who don't know, "waiving contingencies" means that we waived out right to back out of the deal if an inspection showed there was something wrong with the house, or if our financing fell through.)

Well, we got the house. And you know what? Lots of things broke! Our place is over a hundred years old and the previous occupants remodeled it themselves, knowing they wouldn't have to live with the long-term effects of their workmanship.

But here's the thing– even though we've had to replace every last inch of the plumbing including the sewer line heading out to the street, our gamble still worked out. The newly-gentrifying neighborhood has continued to gain value, great businesses and restaurants moved in close by. Our 'hood contains a lot of older residents who own their homes outright, so no lost a home to foreclosure in the downturn.

In other words, the pantsing worked.

Plenty of my choices haven't worked out– but oddly enough, a lot of that stuff was planned. In my experience, planning ahead leads me to try to force a round peg in a square hole. As if with enough organizational scaffolding I can live with a situation that isn't quite right.

Despite my love of the seat-of-my-pants lifestyle, I've generally tried to plot my books. Largely, I blame Jessa Slade. My CP, Danica Avet, referred me to her site for plotting help, and I panicked. There was so much to plot!! I'd never considered that a person COULD be that organized, much less that I should try to be.

Between Jessa Slade and Holly Lisle, I got into a fairly involved plotting habit. I took notes, drew maps, sketched characters. Soon I was adding in suggestions from Sascha Illyvich's Male POV course. And most recently, I've learned about Monomyth and The Hero's Journey and a whole new level of planning was born!

The result: a detailed, well-thought-out plan for a story that made absolutely no sense.

I can say with no hesitation that the more I plot, the more I create false-starts that need to be re-written. Case in point: my Mercury Rising sequel. I wrote 14k based on a detailed outline and had to ditch the entire thing and start from scratch.

The original version lacked…meat. It lacked an emotional core that made sense for the characters. It was all sizzle and no steak, all sauce and no pudding, all "vici" and no "sois."

So I'm giving up on plotting, at least for now. I'm not sad that I practiced the discipline. Just because I don't chart out the characters' goal, motivation, and conflict doesn't mean I don't bear those things in mind. I don't need to plan "work in the hero's issues with his father" to know I should address it. In all three of my first books I included aspects of the hero's relationship with his father, even though I didn't know I was supposed to. Cuz, y'know…I've seen Star Wars.

Similarly, in Mercury Rising when Dillon arrives at the cruise ship he encounters a kid standing guard at the door. I hadn't read about The Hero's Journey when I wrote that scene, and wasn't thinking, "I need to plot a Threshold Guardian." Rather, I needed Dillon to get on the boat and thought, "There should be a guy standing there. I have no idea why, but it just feels right."

Years ago, I took Physiology with a scary-hard professor. Students quaked in fear of his tests, and so did I until I learned the trick. Study your class notes, read the book, look over relevant anatomy. Memorize what you can, but when you sit down to take the test– forget all of it! Don't answer the questions based on what you studied…answer them based on common sense.

What constitutes common sense, of course, changes depending on our baseline knowledge. This is why studying and learning matter, whether it's in physiology, anatomy, or writing. But if you're like me, you can't rely on class notes. In fact, trying to think about class notes will only lead you in the wrong direction.

So if you're a pantster, when you sit down to write– forget everything you learned! Trust that the knowledge has seeped into the part of your brain that processes common sense. Then pants your ass off.

*****

How about you– are you a plotter or a panster? How do you integrate what you've learned with what comes naturally?

A Game of Pants

In life, I'm a panster extraordinaire. Most of the things I've done were accomplished with little or no forethought, and to be honest, I don't see any correlation with thinking ahead and the quality of the outcome.

Take my house, for example. The husband and I chose it after only having seen a handful of other places. It cost a little more than we'd been hoping, so we waved our contingencies, hoping to get the jump on other people who were bidding up the price.

(It was like this, but much, much, much smaller.)

(For those of you who don't know, "waiving contingencies" means that we waived out right to back out of the deal if an inspection showed there was something wrong with the house, or if our financing fell through.)

Well, we got the house. And you know what? Lots of things broke! Our place is over a hundred years old and the previous occupants remodeled it themselves, knowing they wouldn't have to live with the long-term effects of their workmanship.

But here's the thing– even though we've had to replace every last inch of the plumbing including the sewer line heading out to the street, our gamble still worked out. The newly-gentrifying neighborhood has continued to gain value, great businesses and restaurants moved in close by. Our 'hood contains a lot of older residents who own their homes outright, so no lost a home to foreclosure in the downturn.

In other words, the pantsing worked.

Plenty of my choices haven't worked out– but oddly enough, a lot of that stuff was planned. In my experience, planning ahead leads me to try to force a round peg in a square hole. As if with enough organizational scaffolding I can live with a situation that isn't quite right.

Despite my love of the seat-of-my-pants lifestyle, I've generally tried to plot my books. Largely, I blame Jessa Slade. My CP, Danica Avet, referred me to her site for plotting help, and I panicked. There was so much to plot!! I'd never considered that a person COULD be that organized, much less that I should try to be.

Between Jessa Slade and Holly Lisle, I got into a fairly involved plotting habit. I took notes, drew maps, sketched characters. Soon I was adding in suggestions from Sascha Illyvich's Male POV course. And most recently, I've learned about Monomyth and The Hero's Journey and a whole new level of planning was born!

The result: a detailed, well-thought-out plan for a story that made absolutely no sense.

I can say with no hesitation that the more I plot, the more I create false-starts that need to be re-written. Case in point: my Mercury Rising sequel. I wrote 14k based on a detailed outline and had to ditch the entire thing and start from scratch.

The original version lacked…meat. It lacked an emotional core that made sense for the characters. It was all sizzle and no steak, all sauce and no pudding, all "vici" and no "sois."

So I'm giving up on plotting, at least for now. I'm not sad that I practiced the discipline. Just because I don't chart out the characters' goal, motivation, and conflict doesn't mean I don't bear those things in mind. I don't need to plan "work in the hero's issues with his father" to know I should address it. In all three of my first books I included aspects of the hero's relationship with his father, even though I didn't know I was supposed to. Cuz, y'know…I've seen Star Wars.

Similarly, in Mercury Rising when Dillon arrives at the cruise ship he encounters a kid standing guard at the door. I hadn't read about The Hero's Journey when I wrote that scene, and wasn't thinking, "I need to plot a Threshold Guardian." Rather, I needed Dillon to get on the boat and thought, "There should be a guy standing there. I have no idea why, but it just feels right."

Years ago, I took Physiology with a scary-hard professor. Students quaked in fear of his tests, and so did I until I learned the trick. Study your class notes, read the book, look over relevant anatomy. Memorize what you can, but when you sit down to take the test– forget all of it! Don't answer the questions based on what you studied…answer them based on common sense.

What constitutes common sense, of course, changes depending on our baseline knowledge. This is why studying and learning matter, whether it's in physiology, anatomy, or writing. But if you're like me, you can't rely on class notes. In fact, trying to think about class notes will only lead you in the wrong direction.

So if you're a pantster, when you sit down to write– forget everything you learned! Trust that the knowledge has seeped into the part of your brain that processes common sense. Then pants your ass off.

*****

How about you– are you a plotter or a panster? How do you integrate what you've learned with what comes naturally?

Body Hair on Men – Yay or Nay?

I just love seeing my new book covers for the first time. It's the happiest, most squee-worthy part of publishing, IMHO. Granted, I've been exceedingly lucky – in the 11 books I've published thus far, not one of them's had a dud for a cover.

But I was really, REALLY jazzed when I got the cover for my latest m/m romance, A FOOL FOR YOU. And gawd, who wouldn't be? Isn't it gorgeous?

My hat's off to the Ellora's Cave art department – and more specifically, cover artist Dar Albert – for doing a fantastic job.

But… after the bouncing and squeeing was over, I realized there was something missing. Here's how I described my hot guitarist hero Chase's naked torso:

"Chase rolled to his feet and yanked his t-shirt over his head, then unbuckled his belt, unzipped his jeans and let them drop. Brian's mouth watered at the sight of all that smooth skin stretched over powerful shoulders and arms, with a single tattoo of a guitar and rainbow flag right over his heart. Not too much hair, except for small dark tufts at his underarms and a thick treasure trail leading down to a stiff, rosy cock Brian couldn't wait to suck on."

No treasure trail on my cover! I'll admit, I was bummed. Call me weird, but I like a man with some hair on him. Not the big, thick Austin Powers-type chia-pet pelt – and please, no back or butt hair! — but at least enough fur so that he looks legal. Although my young heroes in this book (guitar god Chase Aubrey's twenty-eight, and his sweet goth-rocker boyfriend Brian is twenty) still made me feel a bit like Anne Bancroft in The Graduate. ☺

I have noticed, though, that most erotic romance covers feature guys sporting the waxed look. And sure, it's great to see all that smooth, bare skin and rippling muscles, but how many adult men do you know who don't have some body hair? A little manscaping's very well and good, but taking it all off lessens the appeal for me.

So, what do you all think? Completely smooth, or a bit of fur? I'm taking votes!

Daisy the Harris: Beastmaster

Guest Post by The Man, The Myth, The Legend, EPIC BLACKCAR!!!!!

…let's see what he has to say, shall we?

*****

As a man, I do not fully understand the romance genre, or the shapeshifting genre that Daisy the Harris specializes in.

So I certainly don't consider myself an expert on shapeshifting romances.

But as a journalist, I am an expert on whatever I happen to be writing about.

(This is the Third Law of Journalism. The First Law of Journalism is "If it bleeds, it leads." The Second Law of Journalism is, "Scandals rock." The Fourth Law of Journalism is, "If there are three competing events you could cover, and they are all Boring Meetings, you decide which one gets ink by the quality of the coffee and munchies at each event, because being a reporter doesn't pay much and eating Top Ramen gets old.)

Now, the appeal of shapeshifting romances was not readily apparent to me. Meremaids and meremen in love? It sounds like furries to me. I saw an episode of CSI involving a murder at a furry convention, and this can only lead to one conclusion: furries and shapeshift-lovers are all homicidal maniacs, every one of them.

Daisy the Harris, however, is not a homicidal maniac. Not that I know of. Nor is she some kind of wacko who puts on an oversized Bugs Bunny outfit to spend the weekend at conventions with other people in giant sports mascot suits WHERE THERE IS NO SPORT BEING PLAYED. Though I am not a religious man, I am 99.9 percent sure that this is a sin.

But then I decided to do some research, which consisted of drinking coffee and thinking about old movies I saw involving animals and such. And it came to me. Daisy the Harris is a modern-day BEASTMASTER.

And for a bad movie made in 1982, BEASTMASTER still holds up. Check out the epic trailer:

I believe the urge to control animals, or see through their eyes – or temporarily transform into an animal – is a primal, visceral fantasy. Every child does this naturally, pretending to be lions or dogs or T-Rex.

Who wouldn't want to fly like an eagle, leap like a tiger or swing around the jungle like a spider monkey?

And what is AVATAR if not the most expensive fantasy version of this childhood dream, where a space marine (can James Cameron make a movie WITHOUT a space marine?) takes over the body of an alien, marries an alien woman and then transfers his brain and soul into that 10-foot-tall alien body?

The stupid vampire movies and TV shows are also tapping into this fantasy, though I hate sparkly vampires and dreamy werewolves. Pasty undead blood-sucking parasites and hairy dog-beasts are sexy? Um, no.

So I salute you, Daisy the Harris, and hope you continued success with your insanely creative shapeshifting stories.

My only request is this: your next story involves a shapeshifting beast who eats Taylor Lautner.

****

Sure, Mr. Blackcar, coming right up!

Want more EPIC shop talk about writing, and movies, and stuff? Check out the blog!

Top Ten Tropes for Writing Kinky Sex

If you're an romance writer and want to veer off the vanilla path, there are only so many ways to toss your characters into kinkier waters. Sure, readers want to read about bondage, buttsecks, D/s, and threesomes, but in real life these situations can be hard to negotiate. If you want to slip a little extra spice in the midst of your vampire, police detective, navy SEAL, paranormal, historical pirate story you're gonna need a few tried and true plot devices…

1. Capture! (Prisoner!)

This old-fashioned romance meme allows for exciting rope (or chain!) play, and depending on how you orchestrate it, maybe even a snuffy whipping scene. This romance trademark can be re-imagined a million ways, and never fails to suspend disbelief.

I implemented this plot device in SHARK BAIT. Whips, chains, sharks, ropes– it was all good! The downside: you can play with BDSM with this plot device, but never really go there. Capture/prisoner fantasies rely on the element of lack-of-consent, which readers aren't comfortable seeing go too far.

2. You've Been a Bad Girl

Ah, the tried and true spanking scene! Consensual? No! Sensual? Hell, yes! I'm not a huge fan of this kind of thing because I'm a rapid feminist bee-atch. Powerlessness isn't hot to me (except when it is.) But a lotta readers dig the spanking, and will forgive you any historically or paranormally sexist excuse it takes you to get there.

3. The Vaginal Virgin

Wanna write a whole lotta anal, but aren't sure how to get there? Create a situation where the heroine needs to maintain her hymen! I'm embarrassed to admit I used this in MERE TEMPTATION. My mermaid heroine Isa would lose her ability to become human if she had sex.

I considered developing some complex fake science to explain this phenomenon, but figured that would be adding insult to injury. Basically, I wanted a reason to write a whole mess of non-consummated sex scenes, and hence the "everything but" virgin.

In my defense, Isa was not an "everything BUTT" virgin. In my opinion, the "I'll take it in the ass to protect my hymen" thing only works for ONE sex scene. Two at the absolute maximum. Beyond that, readers start to see this trope for the silliness it is.

4. Kink for Counseling

There's a certain type of romance novel kinkster who's in it to heal past wounds or repair some tragedy of their upbringing. Now, I'm not saying life experiences don't effect people, I'm just not quite sure what experiences would mold someone into a sexual superstar or deviant. Maybe it's just me, but this trope is not my favorite.

ADDENDUM: Victoria Dahl ROCKED this trope in One Week as Lovers. See, when a trope is done well, it's near-undetectable! So yes, like every trope, this one can be made to work.

5. Because I'm So Damn Dominant

Ah, the man whose testosterone count is so high he can be stopped in neither the boardroom nor the bedroom! Who doesn't want that guy? I may snark on this type, but I totally ripped it off with my shark-shifters. Ok, not the boardroom part, but paranormal authors like me often use "inherent traits of the species" to enact this trope.

Werewolves, vampires, business executives, Klingons– they all love kink because they're so darn manly. And hey, if it's well done it works. Reality be damned!

6. If You Really Loved Me, You'd… Give Me Your Ass, Let Me Tie You Up, Suck Off My Friend



I've seldom seen this particular line of reasoning outside boy's college dorm rooms. But other readers claim authors use this. Like every trope, it probably works some times, and falls flat others. My guess is it sucks more often than rocks.

7. But You Did It With That Other Girl



The reverse of #6. The heroine (or hero!) wants to outshine her partner's every other lover. Jeanniene Frost pulled it off to great effect in her second Night Huntress book. The trope is a simple, no-nonsense way to delve into kink.

Note: works best when one of the partners is a former prostitute.

8. Ack! I'm Going into Heat!!!!!



I LOVE this trope. If you're writing paranormal, it's the most patently absurd, yet totally awesome way to launch your characters into non-stop smexxing. In fact, I think it works because it's so ridiculous.

Great examples include: the Black Dagger Brotherhood, Sydney Croft's second book, SHARK BAIT

9. Mutant Species Desperate for Touch (or Sex, or Emotion, or Kink)



You laugh, but this is the central trope of the entire Psy-Changeling series, arguably the best paranormal romance series of all time! I'm using the frak out of this in my Love Dolls (Steins) series.

10. Oh My God, It's a Dungeon! However Will We Blend In??



When in doubt, have your vampire, pirate, police detective cowboy and his lady love stumble into a BDSM club. There's nowhere else to hide! And…they just have to start playing along or else the bad guys will find them! Oh wait…what's that toy used for? No, no, please, no! Please…

…don't stop!

What's the most transparent excuse you've ever used to lure your characters into kink?? C'mon, admit it! We've all done it a little.

Top Ten Tropes for Writing Kinky Sex

If you're an romance writer and want to veer off the vanilla path, there are only so many ways to toss your characters into kinkier waters. Sure, readers want to read about bondage, buttsecks, D/s, and threesomes, but in real life these situations can be hard to negotiate. If you want to slip a little extra spice in the midst of your vampire, police detective, navy SEAL, paranormal, historical pirate story you're gonna need a few tried and true plot devices…

1. Capture! (Prisoner!)

This old-fashioned romance meme allows for exciting rope (or chain!) play, and depending on how you orchestrate it, maybe even a snuffy whipping scene. This romance trademark can be re-imagined a million ways, and never fails to suspend disbelief.

I implemented this plot device in SHARK BAIT. Whips, chains, sharks, ropes– it was all good! The downside: you can play with BDSM with this plot device, but never really go there. Capture/prisoner fantasies rely on the element of lack-of-consent, which readers aren't comfortable seeing go too far.

2. You've Been a Bad Girl

Ah, the tried and true spanking scene! Consensual? No! Sensual? Hell, yes! I'm not a huge fan of this kind of thing because I'm a rapid feminist bee-atch. Powerlessness isn't hot to me (except when it is.) But a lotta readers dig the spanking, and will forgive you any historically or paranormally sexist excuse it takes you to get there.

3. The Vaginal Virgin

Wanna write a whole lotta anal, but aren't sure how to get there? Create a situation where the heroine needs to maintain her hymen! I'm embarrassed to admit I used this in MERE TEMPTATION. My mermaid heroine Isa would lose her ability to become human if she had sex.

I considered developing some complex fake science to explain this phenomenon, but figured that would be adding insult to injury. Basically, I wanted a reason to write a whole mess of non-consummated sex scenes, and hence the "everything but" virgin.

In my defense, Isa was not an "everything BUTT" virgin. In my opinion, the "I'll take it in the ass to protect my hymen" thing only works for ONE sex scene. Two at the absolute maximum. Beyond that, readers start to see this trope for the silliness it is.

4. Kink for Counseling

There's a certain type of romance novel kinkster who's in it to heal past wounds or repair some tragedy of their upbringing. Now, I'm not saying life experiences don't effect people, I'm just not quite sure what experiences would mold someone into a sexual superstar or deviant. Maybe it's just me, but this trope is not my favorite.

5. Because I'm So Damn Dominant

Ah, the man whose testosterone count is so high he can be stopped in neither the boardroom not the bedroom! Who doesn't want that guy? I may snark on this type, but I totally ripped it off with my shark-shifters. Ok, not the boardroom part, but paranormal authors like me often use "inherent traits of the species" to enact this trope.

Werewolves, vampires, business executives– they all love kink because they're so darn manly. And hey, if it's well done it works. Reality be damned!

6. If You Really Loved Me, You'd… Give Me Your Ass, Let Me Tie You Up, Suck Off My Friend



I've seldom seen this particular line of reasoning outside boy's college dorm rooms. But other readers claim authors use this. Like every trope, it probably works some times, and falls flat others. My guess is it sucks more often than rocks.

7. But You Did It With That Other Girl



The reverse of #6. The heroine (or hero!) wants to outshine her partner's every other lover. Jeanniene Frost pulled it off to great effect in her second Night Huntress book. The trope is a simple, no-nonsense way to delve into kink.

Note: works best when one of the partners is a former prostitute.

8. Ack! I'm Going into Heat!!!!!



I LOVE this trope. If you're writing paranormal, it's the most patently absurd, yet totally awesome way to launch your characters into non-stop smexxing. In fact, I think it works because it's so ridiculous.

Great examples include: the Black Dagger Brotherhood, Sydney Croft's second book, SHARK BAIT

9. Mutant Species Desperate for Touch (or Sex, or Emotion, or Kink)



You laugh, but this is the central trope of the entire Psy-Changeling series, arguably the best paranormal romance series of all time! I'm using the frak out of this in my Love Dolls (Steins) series.

10. Oh My God, It's a Dungeon! However Will We Blend In??



When in doubt, have your vampire, pirate, police detective cowboy and his lady love stumble into a BDSM club. There's nowhere else to hide! And…they just have to start playing along or else the bad guys will find them! Oh wait…what's that toy used for? No, no, please, no! Please…

…don't stop!

What's the most transparent excuse you've ever used to lure your characters into kink?? C'mon, admit it! We've all done it a little.

Six-Sentence Sunday: with Loki and Thor from MERCURY RISING

Thor grabbed Loki by the back of his jacket, dragged him out the door, and threw him down the hallway. "How dare you attempt to defile a goddess such as she?" Anger coursing through his veins, Thor swung his weapon with a mighty blow.

Loki disappeared, reappearing a few feet away to slap down the creases in his clothes. "Hey, boss." The idiot mischief-maker scratched his nose as if nothing had transpired, as if Thor couldn't smell the goddess's come on his hands.