Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Blog, page 77

Try Something New

People get stuck doing things they way they've always done it.  Despite always getting the same results with which we are NOT happy, we continue to do thing the same way.  We can't see another way. We're unwilling to try something new.

Years ago I bought a book called Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain. One of the exercises in the book is to take a picture and turn it upside down and then draw it. The rationale was that by not allowing your brain to fill in the gaps – by seeing the picture in a new way – you'd be more successful at capturing the various elements. It works.

If you have found yourself saying something like, "No, that won't work because…" so that you don't have to try a new way of acting, thinking or being, could it be that you've exchanged the excitement of discover for the comfort of predictability?

In a Fortune interview several years ago, Larry Page, co-founder of Google, said, "You have this fear of failing and of doing something new, which is very natural. In order to do stuff that matters, you need to overcome that."

The same is true of life. If you're unwilling to try something new, to push yourself out of your comfort zone, to go beyond the predictable, you'll always be stuck with the same outcomes.

It takes gumption to overcome the natural fear of change. But you can do it. Think about:

What you really, really want. What's important to you? What and who do you care about? Where do you currently devote your attention? Where do you want to focus your attention?

Who are the people in your life that you affect? Hardly any of use go it alone. We have co-workers, friends, BFFs, mates, children, mothers, fathers, sibs… a huge array of people with whom we interact. While you cannot live your life for these people (except your children because you chose to bring them into your life, accidentally or on purpose), you need to understand how their responses may affect your action (or contribute to your inaction).

How hard you're prepared to work? You know the old saying, 'Actions speak louder than words?' This is it! Are you just going to whine and complain, dream and spin, blather and yak, or are you going to DO something? Most of the people who have what they want busted their butts to make it so. Are you ready to bust your butt?

As you embrace something new, be prepared to let go some old stuff to make room for the new. Old habits and old emotions may all have to go so you create the space for new emotions and new habits. So think about what's dragging you down. Then blow it out to make some room to try something new.

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This & That: Relationship Edition

Tonight's the Facebook Party from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Come chat with me on my FB Fan Page. See you there!

M wrote: I am a middle age woman who had been married 23 years, raised 2 stepchildren and 1 of our own when the marriage ended.  After having committed my time fully to raising the children as a mutual decision, I found myself without the means to financially provide for myself after the split- big mistake – lesson learned.  I packed up that life, moved and obtained an undergrad and graduate degree.  I am now gainfully employed in a professional capacity with the potential for greater earnings as I gain credibility in the field.  In addition, I made the decision to embark, yet again on a relationship with a man who has 2 children – what was I thinking??? He came to the relationship with a very strong credit rating, sound financial position and 2 children, while I came with significant debt resulting from my divorce and school (children are all grown up and supporting themselves – amen!).  He bought our current home (it is in his name solely because I have too much debt) to which we each contribute accordingly…40% my share and 60% his share and our other financial obligations are totally separate. While I had initially felt that what each of us came into the relationship with was our sole responsibility, after having lived common-law now for 1 year, I am beginning to feel the inequity of the situation.  I contribute significantly to the rearing of these children (who are delightful I might add) which is helping him with his obligations.  I am wondering if we shouldn't re-evaluate our financial approach so that he contributes to helping me with my liabilities in some form to equalize the efforts we each contribute.  As an option, he has an unused line of credit with a large limit that I wonder if asking him if I could utilize it to pay off my creditors one at a time (highest interest first) to save interest costs is fair and smart.  I would make the payment to his LOC.  As I'm sure you can detect…I am very aware of my history and do not delight in repeating negative patterns and as such want to feel things are equitable as they weren't the first time hence being in the $ position I am at this point in my life.  What is your feeling and perspective on the above.

Gail says:  Once bitten, twice shy, eh?  You need to sit down with your buddy and have a chat m'love.  He definitely should NOT let you use his line of credit, since that transfers the liability from you to him.  But he may wish to help you with cash flow.  I get that you're doing some significant child rearing.  But you need to tell him that you need some help.  Either you can assign a value to your role as caregiver, or you can do it based on opportunity cost:  if you got a second job and made and extra $1000 a month to pay down your debt, he'd then have to pay someone else to do what you've been doing or do it himself, right?

Most importantly, you must talk.  If you are committed to this relationship, you must be able to share your frustrations and your needs with each other.  And you need to do it sooner so the resentment doesn't pepper your communication.

P wrote: We are newlyweds! I am having trouble learning how to combine our money. Do we close our accounts and get a joint account?  OR do we keep our accounts separate since closing them can affect our credit and open a new one together?  If so, how do we divide our money? I know what goes inside the jars, but don't know how much to take from each other. We both make different amounts. Please guide me.

Gail Says:  You should keep your individual accounts and open a joint account into which you put the money you'll be using to pay your joint bills. Keep your savings and credit separate. When it comes to dividing the expenses, contribute proportionately to the joint account. So let's say your total joint expenses (housing, food, transportation, etc.) come up to $3,000 a month. If you make twice as much as your partner, you'd pay $2,000 and your partner would pay $1000. To figure it out, divide your income by the total of both your income and your partner's income and multiply by 100. Then use that number (it's a percentage) to figure out how much of the expenses you will each contribute to the house account.

R Wrote: Love your show! I am a recent college graduate in my early twenties. I am about to get married soon and am living currently with my fiancé. A few months ago we decided to open a joint account to put money in for rent, electricity/gas, etc. We both still have our own checking/savings from before as well. My fiancé told me he wants to eventually combine it all to one expense and chequing – i.e. our joint account. Couples in his family have always done this. However, I know my parents each have separate expense accounts, so I never really grew up thinking that. Both of us are pretty level-headed, and the only debt we have is from student loans. Neither of us use credit cards for more that a couple hundred dollars a month which we always pay off in full, to (hopefully) build some credit. I am not so much worried about one of us going crazy and shopping and blowing all the money, but I do like having my accounts delineated into money we need, for bills, future investments, etc, vs money in my personal account I can use for splurges and not have it touch the other money. I wanted to get your two cents on what was the best option. So, joint account only, or separate accounts???

Gail Says:  I'm from the Yours, Mine & Ours school of money management. I think it makes perfect sense to combine your money for your household expenses, contributing proportionate to your income. But I also believe that each person should have their own accounts for saving (and for personal spending) as well as independent credit accounts. You are in love and working together to achieve your goals and your dreams. But you are also two individuals who should maintain healthy financial and credit identities that are independent of each other.

K Wrote: Hi Gail! Have a bit of a "champagne problem", so to speak… was wondering if you could help us out. My hubby and I are both finally graduating from school in the next few months, and through a mixture of hard work and scrimping and saving, we're lucky enough to be graduating debt free. Not only that, but due to some very generous wedding presents we actually have about $30,000 currently sitting as a house/emergency fund.

Recently, I've found out that my parents have bought a property in town with the intention of eventually tearing down the house on site and building their dream home. However, they figure it will take them about a year before they have everything organized in terms of layout/cash flow/time to execute. In the meantime, they've offered us the chance to live in the house rent-free as caretakers until they're ready. We've crunched the numbers and we figure if we continue to live as we have been (that is, as poor students) after getting our jobs (we both have something lined up), we're going to be left with a $1000-$2000 surplus per month after moving in.

Here's our "issue", so to speak – we both agree that a portion of that money should be set aside for our emergency fund & house fund, but my hubby thinks that we should also take about half of that money and have fun with it, spending it on furniture/clothing/eating out/a vacation, etc., whereas I think we should throw all of it into the savings above, plus start saving for retirement.

I understand how tired he is living like poor students – we never eat out, and we didn't even have a honeymoon – but I'm scared that we're going to get used to living rent-free and when the free ride is over it'll be tough to reign ourselves back in. We're both 24 and I just don't want to start our working lives by making a big mistake. Thoughts? Any advice is much appreciated!

Gail Says:  Okay, you're almost on the same page. You've agreed to set money aside for the emergency fund and the house fund. Great! Now you're quibbling over the other half of the money. Tell ya what: why don't you divvy it up 50/50. Use half for long-term savings, and the other half to have some fun. How does that sound?

R Wrote:  My husband is an accountant and as such is generally really good with our money. He has a budget, we have RRSPs for ourselves, RESP for our 5 year old daughter and really no savings (not so good here). My question to you is this – is it really necessary for me to hand in EVERY receipt and clarify on the receipt what it is for (if it is not obvious) so he can keep track every month? He has been doing this for years and it is causing some really rebellious feelings in me and leading to some extreme tension. I feel very angry when he makes me look at a receipt from say WalMart so I can tell him what that exact purchase was. Sometimes I cannot remember and it leads me to feel embarrassed and forgetful. Please advise me on how to turn this around so I can spend money without guilt and not be so damn mad at him at the end of every month.  For the record Gail, I am a stay at home mom and I am somewhat of a nickel and dimer but I DO NOT make large purchases without first consulting him. I buy things like clothes for our daughter, books for me, some craft things and of course, that horribly addictive Tim Horton's coffee.

Gail Says:  His system is clearly very detailed, but if you're feeling resentful, then maybe you need to sit down and talk about it. Like your husband, I track all my spending, breaking it down by category. However, if what you want is to be able to spend $100 a month without having to be accountable to him, perhaps you can agree to add that line to the budget: Roxie's Fun $100. You get your "spending money" and he always just plugs it into the budget as your fun money.

You should talk to your honey about this. If he's doing it to "keep you in line" then you need to have some money of your own that you can use for whatever you want whenever you want. If he's doing it because it's how he's tracking the money, that's not such a bad thing. Keep a pen handy and when you do multiple purchases at a department store, quickly go over the receipt in the car or when you first get home and are unpacking the bags and make a quick note of what you spent the money on. Then you won't forget.

C Wrote: Love your show, your book and your handy online worksheets. But I have a beef! In your interactive budget worksheet, you quite rightly have a line item for spousal/child support in the income category. This is an important part of many people's income. Why in God's green acres have you not also included it in the fixed expenses??? Some of us PAY spousal and child support instead of receiving it, and we still have to balance our budget. For some people this fixed, monthly payment is a rather substantial fraction of total income, and it seems a bit, well, insensitive of you not to acknowledge that.

You are always open and blunt about money and shine a light onto all the dirty, dark little secrets that make people feel shame and discomfort around finances. That's what we love about you! Spousal support payments are often an emotionally difficult monthly reminder of a failed marriage, wrapped up in regret, sadness and, often, shame. Having to pencil this item into your budget worksheet, when it only appears in the income category, intended or not, makes an implied value judgment about the payer vs. the payee, and does tend to make a person feel rather worse about money than better.  Know what I mean?

Gail Says:  Oh sweetheart, I can hear all the pain and resentment in your voice. I'm sorry this is hard for you. The reason why I don't have it in the expenses is because under the "income" you would enter your number with a minus sign in front of it to indicate that you are paying it, not receiving it.

BTW: Marriages fail (hey, I know) but regret is a wasted emotion. It isn't about what you didn't do right or what you could have done differently. It's about the lessons you have learned and the person you are becoming. As far as I am concerned there is no shame in a failed marriage unless the marriage has failed and you cannot move on from it so you remain mired in your mistakes.

B Wrote: I am planning on moving in with my girlfriend who owns a condo. She wants me to sign an agreement saying that I will not take any of her things if we break up, which is completely fine with me. Her total monthly expenses (mortgage, condo fees, taxes, bills) is approx. $1500/month. She wants me to pay half of this. Is this reasonable? I am just finishing school to be a teacher and I am unsure if I will be able to afford this.

Gail Says:  You have to live somewhere, right? Is it likely you'll find something for less than $750? You should pay proportionate to your income when it comes to sharing joint costs. So if you make 60% of your joint net income, you pay 60% of the costs, and vice versa. If you don't think you'll be able to keep up with your share of the costs, you and your girlfriend should delay the moving in together until you're on your feet (assuming you're living at home.) Don't let the money mess up the relationship.

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RRR: Plastic Bottles

2 days left until the Facebook Party on Thursday, July 14,  from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Come chat with me on my FB Fan Page. See you there!

While plastic bottles can be recycled through your town's or city's waste removal system, you can also reuse them to have some fun and save money at home. Here are some ideas:

I didn't believe this was a reused plastic bottle until I read the instructions. All I can say is: "Wow!"
Large orange juice containers are the perfect watering cans. They're lighter than metal ones and the pouring spout is nice and small for those little pots. Want a bigger pouring spout? Choose a larger-mouth container like the ones cat litter come in. I have 3 or 4 of these around my home depending on what I'm watering.
When flowers and veggies are first planted, they need lots of water at the roots. Cut a bottle in half, sink the lip of the bottle well into the soil by the plant's roots. When you water, more will go deep into the soil, pulling the roots down instead of out, so your plants will grow stronger.
Lop off the tops and glue a series of bottles together and you can sort your change as you store it.
Sure you can buy a scoop for just a dollar or two, but wouldn't you rather make one? All you need is a plastic bleach bottle with a handle. Leave the cap on and cut off the bottom. You'll have a scoop that holds a useful volume and is comfortable to use.
Never buy a funnel again. Make funnels of varying sizes depending on what you're pouring. Cut the bottom off bottles with different sized openings, invert and you're laughing.
Cut white plastic bottles (like a bleach bottle) into strips and use them as plant labels. An indelible marker to write on the labels will stop them fading in the sun.
Save on slug bait. Sink half a plastic bottle into the soil and fill with beer and you've got a homemade Slug Pub. The suckers will crawl in and drown. Leave the top of the container above the soil line so you don't inadvertently catch the good beetles.
Fill a few bottles about two-thirds full and freeze and you'll have ready-made icepacks for when you're heading out with the kids.
Cut the top off bottle and turn it upside down as a funnel reinserting it into the bottom. Tape the funnel in place.  Add a sweet liquid like OJ or sugar water. Pesky flies will fly in for the juice but won't be able to fly out again.






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Not Smart about Money

3 days left until the Facebook Party on Thursday, July 14,  from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Come chat with me on my FB Fan Page. Post your questions in advance. See you there.

I'm amazed at the people who tell me they're not smart about money. Well educated, professional, highly responsible, creative and competent people all turn to jelly when it comes to their personal finances. Whazzup with that? I've even met people who have to manage their company's money (accountants, bookkeepers, financial officers) who can't figure out how to balance their own budgets. Heaven preserve me.

What is it about money that brings even the smartest and most sensible person to their knees? Why do we make such a big frickin' deal out of something that is, at it's heart, completely straightforward?

Y'know what really gets my goat? It's the folks who are so willing to turn a blind eye to the foundations of their financial life only to open up a conversation about "investing" and how smart they are about "putting their money to work?"

Isn't it after all, way easier to save a dollar than to earn (and pay taxes on) another dollar? So how come we're willing to spend time and effort reading, learning, improving our knowledge of the sassy, sexy world of investing even as we refuse to take care of our money housekeeping?

There's the guy who had $6,000 worth of parking tickets. He had to put his car in his girl's name so he could get it licensed. Hey, the guy had to drive for his living! How moronic is that?

There's the girl who took a pass on her company pension plan for the past eleven years, even though her company is willing to match her dollar for dollar (in essence giving her a 5% increase in income) just because she didn't want to have to forgo the spending money. And she works for a bank. Lord love a duck!

How about the student who didn't think twice about taking out all the student loans he'd qualify for, along with every credit and store card he was offered. Four years later he has a very unimpressive undergrad degree, $53,000 in debt, and job that pays $11.27 an hour. Oy!

So why are relatively smart people not so smart when it comes to managing their money?

I think it's because they haven't taken the time to really think about what they're doing. Let's face it, if you get a parking ticket and you pay it right away, that's one thing. If you stick it in your glovebox and ignore it, it will double and then triple. If you let it add up to $6,000 you're in serious denial.

But if you thought about what else you could do with that $6,000 – a great vacation, a serious amount of entertaining, a new bathroom – you'd just kick yourself, wouldn't you? This is the step that's missing for so many people: they just don't think!

If you want to be smart about your money, you have to think about it. When you do something that makes money go away, you have to weigh what you're getting against what else you could do with that money.  It's called Opportunity Cost.

The next time you're tempted to do something boneheaded like miss a payment on your credit card so you can buy a new somethin' or 'nother, think about it. Don't just push the thinking part aside. And if you're all up in investing, but you don't have an emergency fund, you're carrying a balance on your credit card, or you haven't made a will, quit your smirking. You're not so smart!

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Home Inspections

4 days left until the Facebook Party on Thursday, July 14,  from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Come chat with me on my FB Fan Page. Post your questions in advance. See you there.

While I was shooting the TDDUP Home Editions, I noticed an alarming trend among the people I was working with: they skip a home inspection or, having had one done, they completely ignore the report. Whazzup with that?

It makes no sense to put good money down without getting a professional opinion on the property you're considering. It is very important that you get a GOOD home inspector. If you've watch Mike Holmes, you know that inspectors are a dime a dozen and some of them are downright awful. But a good one can help you feel confident in laying down your buck-sixty-two.

'Course, home inspectors won't find everything. First of all they don't have psychic powers so they can't see behind walls. And if there's been a recent mold cleanup just ahead of the inspection, there may be no signs of that. Mice droppings under floorboards won't be spotted either.

But working with a good inspector means you'll get a heads-up on what will need replacing, when, and approximately what it will cost. That'll help you decide what you'll need to set aside for home maintenance. If there's a big cost coming, like the replacement of a roof or furnace, you can use that information to negotiate the sales price down. (Yeah, I know, not gonna happen in a seller's market. But at least you'll know there's more money going out the door in the not too distant future so you can plan for it.)

When you're hiring a home inspector know that they come in various shades and styles: from highly educated and accredited to not so much. Ask about their experience. Check to see if they are members of associations. And ask to see what their inspection report looks like before you buy from them. You do get what you pay for; if you're coughing up less than $350 for your home inspection on a 3,000 sq. ft. home, you're probably not getting the best advice.

Your home inspection should take three to four hours. You should be present every step of the way. And you should end up with a very detailed report that shows all the deficiencies and comments on all the features of your home that may need attention.

If you have children, hire a home inspector that has some environmental and child-safety experience. While neither environmental nor child safety issues are typically covered in a home inspection (you usually have to hire specialists for this) if your home inspector has some experience, they could at least let you know that you need to go the next step. And as you walk around with them ask every question that pops into your head. Don't worry about looking stupid. You're never going to see this man or woman again. Suck every drop of info that you can out of the inspection experience.

At the end of the day, the home inspection should provide you with peace of mind in terms of the big things that need to be addressed when you're buying a property. Depending on the season, there may be things you just can't check. When I turned on my outside taps in the spring, my inside line was leaking. But there was no way for the home inspector I worked with to know this since I bought the house in the dead of winter. I just sucked it up and got it fixed.

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Oh Grow UP!

FACEBOOK PARTY! On Thursday, July 14, I'll be having a FB party from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. This will be your opportunity to ask questions and chat with me on my FB Fan Page. In preparation of the night, feel free to post your questions in advance. I'll get to as many of them as I can. See you there.

So, y'all know I do this show called Princess where I deal with people who are supposed to be all grown up but are acting like children. They see something they want, they buy it. They toss their heads, turn up their noses, and dismiss anyone who disagrees with them.

You might think that my Princesses are the only place I see this behavior. Well, they're not the only people who have to grow up. Yes, their brand of in-your-face nasty can be hard to take, but every day I meet people who are just as childish in their behavior. There's the woman who thinks she's entitled to $800 shoes or a $400 handbag when she doesn't have a cent in her kids' educational savings. There's the guy who tells me that even though he and his partner make $200K a year, they need their credit to get by (even though they also take three vacations a year). And there's the honey who loves his car so much that he'd rather buy new rims than put fifty bucks in a savings account.

People who do not prioritize saving – be it an emergency fund, their kids' future education, or their own retirement – are children.  One of the things adults come to terms with is that there are consequences to all our actions. Kids eat all the cookies in the cookie jar and get a stomachache. Adults stop at two.  Kids want it all. Adults know they have to choose. Kids live in the here and now. Adults know they have to plan for the future.

I'm a big believer in having fun and enjoying life. After I watched my best friend die in her early 40s, I reassessed my need to defer my gratification so that I'd have "enough" for the future. The future became a much more uncertain thing. But I was still a grown-up and that meant understanding the consequences of my decisions.

When I moved into the house I live in now, the place needed to be painted and it desperately needed new flooring.  I only had the money to paint. Sure, I could put the new floors I wanted in my house on credit and get it paid off in two years. That's what a line of credit is for, right?

But what if my contract didn't get renewed and I was out of work with a line of credit to pay on top of my regular expenses? How much would I love my new floors then? And how would I feel if I couldn't help Alex at university because I was paying off new floors?

I lived with my nasty carpeting and curling vinyl for 2 years until I'd saved the money to do the floors. When the floors were done this summer, they were paid for in full, no interest costs, no worries.

That's what adults do: they look at the upsides and the downsides and assess logically the best way to deal with a situation. And let's not confuse "logical" with "intelligent." I meet plenty of folks who are smart enough to know better but end up making irrational decisions because they use their "smarts" to justify an action that's far from logical.

If you're scratching your consumer itch with credit, it's because you're still in child mode, no ifs, ands or buts. Grow up!

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You Spent What?

I remember when bottled water first started being sold? I could not, for the life of me, figure out why people would pay good money for water in a bottle. The love-affair with bottled water shows no signs of slowing down despite the environmental issues. In fact, bottled water is now like wine: different grades with different prices. Bling H2O sells for $40+. People, we're talking WATER here. And that's not even the most expensive water. That title goes to Kona Nigari at about $16.75 an ounce. The bottled water market is expected to hit almost $90 million by next year.

If you need more pep than water will produce, you can always jump on the energy drinks bandwagon. Each time I'd drop Malcolm at school and watch the kids walking by with tins of Red Bull I wonder whether their parents know what they were putting into their bodies. Where are they were getting the money? Since 2002, energy drink sales rose from $1.2 billion and are expected to hit almost $9 billion by next year. Red Bull is at the front of the pack, followed by Moster and Rockstar. Sobe has 4 drinks in the top 15 energy drink brads. Wowza!

Can't stomach that much caffeine all at once? Maybe you'd rather sip yours hot. The U.S. coffee sales market is an $18 billion a year biz, and the average coffee drinker downs just over three cups a day. It's been projected that there will be $50,000 + coffee shops in North America by the end of this year. Americans alone consume 400 million cups of coffee per day making the U.S. the leading consumer of coffee in the world.

Drinking water is one of the best ways to lose weight, so say the experts. And if you're flagging because you haven't eaten enough to keep a butterfly alive, you can always grab a cuppa coffee or a Red Bull, I suppose. The thing about diets that make me scratch my head is that with all the plans out there that work wonders, why do we still have any fat people left? From Atkins to South Beach, there's a diet for everyone. Some plans will even deliver the food you should eat directly to you no matter where you are.  The industry is so huge – programs, books, videos, foods and beverages, supplements and pills – that nobody actually knows how big it is. But Nestle Nutrition, which manages Jenny Craig, posted sales of over $9 billion in 2009. Nestle bought Jenny Craig for $600 million in 2006, so I think they've made their money back. Hey, that's just Jenny Craig.

Right along with all the money people spend to not be fat anymore — when really, if you just stopped spending money, that'd work too — [yeah, yeah, I'm fat, but I don't diet!] , comes all the money people will spend on exercise equipment that then become clothes horses and dust catchers. Sure, the exercise equipment company guarantees your success for they'll give you your money back. You'll just have to disassemble the sucker and pay for shipping 800 lbs of deadweight. Hmmm. Exercise equipment sales is a $4.22 billion biz in the U.S.

We also dropped more than $12 billion on exercise shoes in 2008. As if what some people will pay for their own shoes isn't enough to take your breath away, what we'll pay to keep our pooches shod should. When I was shooting one of my Princess who had spent way too much for a dog she couldn't afford, we shot in a doggie boutique. I was gobsmacked at the price of doggie coats and booties. I get that a pet can be like a child. But dontcha know that most come with their own fur coats? So why do we pay to have someone trim off their fuzzy and then pay someone else to make them a new one? In 2010, American households spent over $49 billion on pet-related expenses.

I don't suppose any of the people who are using any of these products have any debt. Nope, I don't suppose they do.

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Yertle the Turtle

So many people think they are powerless. Life just happens to them and they are pushed along in the current of a river that's too strong to escape. Taken under by a rush of water, they feel like they're always trying to find their footing, to get enough air.  They are peons in someone else's major drama.

Too bad. And NOT TRUE.

We each have the ability to create a life that works for us. When we feel helpless and incapable of changing our circumstances, we're letting Yertle have the last say.

Yertle the Turtle likes his pond and he rules it well, at first. But power corrupts, and Yertle's desire to rise higher and higher makes him build his throne up, up, up, on the backs of his fellow turtles.

People see this as a story about tyranny and social justice. I like to look at it as a story about how one guy – the turtle on the bottom, a fellow named Mack – decides to take control and change his life. Tired of being squashed into the mud by Yertle's obsessions, the little Atlas shrugs. Actually, Mack burps.

That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack,

Decided he'd taken enough. And he had.

And that plain little lad got a bit mad.

And that plain little Mack did a plain little thing.

He burped! And his burp shook the throne of the king!

Like the little turtle on the bottom of the stack, you have the option of staying in the game and just being a stepping stone to someone else's dream-come-true, or shaking off the yoke of complacency and creating a new reality for yourself.

So often just going with the flow seems so much easier. And for all the folks who don't like to cause waves, just sucking it up feels like the safe way to live life. But safe isn't always best. And sometimes getting a little mad is a good thing if it creates the motivation for you to change what you don't like about your life.

Not everyone is cut out to be a king. Not everyone wants to be a king. But not being a king doesn't mean you have to be someone else's pawn. You can be king of your own world, master of your own future.

If you hate your job, hate your husband or wife, hate your life, then change it. Get a little mad. Figure out what you do want and then figure out how to get there. There are no extra points for being long-suffering or a martyr. Doormats get stepped on. If you want to have a different life, you must do something different. Go ahead, burp!

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I'd like to add a new section to the website next year. In it, I'd like to feature 5 people as they journey through their financial lives. If you'd like to share you journey and you fit into one of the following categories, please send me a sample of your writing, and let me know if you're prepared to commit to writing one blog per week for six months. I'll be judging based on the samples I get, so make sure you're on topic, witty and an interesting read. Here are the categories I'm looking for:

A student who is still in school
A stay-at-home mom or dad who is tasked with managing the family's finances
A single person who is trying to keep work and life in balance, while achieving a specific goal
A working mom or dad who is part of a double-income family with kids
A body who is about to retire and is getting ready to make the transition

This isn't a paid gig. (I maintain this website as a labour of love… my give-back.) You're doing this to a) establish yourself as a writer, b) share your experiences with others, or c) get some feedback from the folks here. If you're interested, please send your contact info along with your sample to getgvo@gmail.com with the word WRITER in the subject line. Once I've short-listed potential writers, I'll give you a call to chat, so include your phone number and email address in your contact info please.

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The A, B, Cs of Money: Q&R

QUALITY OF LIFE: What we should all be striving for. Factors that play into quality of life include financial security, job satisfaction, family/work balance, health and safety. Many financial decisions involve a tradeoff where quality of life must be measured against other priorities.

QUANTITATIVE ANALYSIS: A way of measuring a stock's performance using everything from simple ratios like earnings per share to calculations that are complicated like discounted cash flow or option pricing. Quantitative analysis seeks to put the logic into stock selections, but seldom tells the whole story without it's cousin, qualitative analysis, which looks at things like the management of the company, how strong the R&D department may be, or the health of labour relations.

QUID PRO QUO: Latin for "something for something" in financial circles it's used to describe when one party provides a product or service in exchange for another party's product or service (instead of money changing hands.) This is the basis of "the underground economy" which seeks to skirt taxes because money never changes hands.

RANDOM WALK THEORY: This theory holds that stock price changes are independent of each other, so "past performance is no predictor or future performance." In other words, equity investments take a random path from where they are to where they're going next. It's in direct conflict with those who believe that stocks have price trends that can predicted.

REAL GDP: This is the value of final goods and services at prevailing prices, removing the discretionary effects of inflation.

RECESSION: The phase in the economic cycle where growth slows substantially. Marked by two consecutive quarters when GDP falls. Interest rates usually fall during a recession to stimulate the economy by offering cheap borrowing to fuel growth.

REIT. A Real Estate Investment Trust holds a package of real estate or mortgages and issues shares in that package, which are traded on a stock exchange like common stock. Mortgage REITS hold – you guessed it – mortgages. Equity REITs hold shopping centres, apartment buildings and industrial buildings. Some REITS are a hybrid of the two.

REVERSE MORTGAGE: A mortgage that lets you tap the equity in your home as a source of income. You get a lump sum or series of payment, and put your home up as collateral for that loan. You don't have to make any payments while you're in the home, but the amount you owe compounds at the interest rate in your reverse mortgage agreement. If you sell the home or if you die, the note becomes payable but is limited to the value of the home when it is sold.

REVOLVING CREDIT: Credit that you can use and repay at will. A line credit "revolves"; you pay it off and then you have access to the line again. A credit card is another form of revolving credit. This is the most dangerous kind of credit for a Debt Dummy!

RISK: The possibility that some of the money you invest will be lost because of a decline in the value of an investment. Also the degree of uncertainty in the return of an asset. There are all types of risks. Credit risk, for example, is the risk that a bond issuer will fail to repay. Currency risk is the chance that fluctuations in currency values will make your investments worth less. You should be well aware of the different types of risk associated with any investment you're thinking about buying.

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Defined by Your Brand

There's a trend among a certain group of folks to define themselves by the brands that they buy. Whether it's a designer handbag or a hot new piece of technology, boys and girls alike are falling for the brand name. It seems that self-esteem and self-respect is less about what's inside and more about how they can get other people to admire – or is it "envy" – them.

Even from within the fashion industry, there are people who are outraged at the way consumers are manipulated. Tomas Maier who is the creative director of Bottega Veneta is quoted in the New Yorker:

"The It Bag is a totally marketed bullshit crap[...] You make a bag, you put all the components in it that you think could work, you send it out to a couple of celebrities, you get the paparazzi to shoot just when they walk out of their house. You sell that to the cheap tabloids, and you say in a magazine that there's a waiting list. And you run an ad campaign at the same time.."

And those with an undeveloped sense of who they are, or fragile egos, those who are trying to replicate what they see in order to pretend to a life they actually cannot afford, eat it up.

Designer labels were once the domain of the wealthy, except in outlet stores or resale shops. Easy access to credit meant that people could buy crap with a label and still pay their rent. If they had to choose, I wonder how many would have chosen to spend their monthly food allowance on a high-priced brand? But they didn't. They could have it all, and they did. And now as disposable income is eaten by monthly payments, people are beating their breasts and wailing about the mess they've made.

So why were (are) people willing to go into debt for the dubious pleasure of saying that they own a specific brand? Could the lure of the brand label be more than just a case of Wannabe Wonderful?

From the Institute of Education at National Sun Yat-Sen University, Taiwan comes research that demonstrates brand matters to people's egos.  And it's not just the young who are susceptible.  In one experiment, seniors were asked to compose resumes on iMacs, some with generic keyboards and some with Apple accessories. Y'know what? Those assigned to the computers with generic accessories expected to make less ($976) than those who used the Apple accessories ($1,071). Whazzup with that?

In a second experiment, after completing complicated dating profiles, students were given the phone number of their "match" and a cell phone in which the battery was dead. Researchers gave half the students a generic replacement battery and the other half a brand-name battery. After the five-minute phone calls, students were asked to rate, on a scale of 1 to 7 (1 being "least attractive" to 7 being "very attractive") how they thought their matches would rate them. Those using the generic product rated their attractiveness at an average of 3.7; the brand-name group rated themselves at 4.6.

Have we become so brand-focused that the kind of battery we use or the label on our socks really impact our perceptions of ourselves? Wow. And how do we protect our children from this phenomenon? I know I don't want either of my kids to believe that they can buy a sense of self.  I want that sense of who they are to come from what they achieve and how they interact with the world. I want them to know who they are. I want them to be happy… and I want their stuff to play no role in defining them.

So far I've been lucky. I haven't really seen any sign of brand-hounding in my kids. Maybe it's because I'm not a brand-hound. I know that some brands offer better value but I weigh that value against the cost and what it is I'm trying to achieve. I might use a brand as a short-cut because the brand has served me well in the past, but I'm never a slave to it. And that's the lesson I want to my children to learn.

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The winners from Thursday and Friday are Bedalia and kandfamily. I've sent your emails off so you should be getting a notification shortly.

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