Cynthianna's Blog, page 22

Smiling Assassin Presents...

The hubby and I finally did it!

Check out our new video showcasing some of our most original and functional designs for the most discriminating SF/Fantasy/Steampunk enthusiast:


Smiling Assassin Presents...




Enjoy! (And don't forget to contact us early with your holiday orders.) ;)

http://www.smilingassassin.com

"Original and Functional art for gamers and SF fans"

Writers Don't Get an Even Break

I'm re-printing a blog post here written by my husband, A J Matthews. It demonstrates the uphill climb (and constant slogging) we writers take as we try to make a living (or at least sell a few copies of our books).

A Disappointing Review...

Somewhere in the middle of the night my name must have changed. This from the book review of The Hetzenberg Chronicles, vol. 1, as printed in issue 23 of Battlegames magazine.

"...Mr Mitchell clearly had enormous fun writing this book and his enthusiasm for his characters is obvious, but alas, not contagious. The lack of either any wargames background or historical verisimilitude make it hard to think of anyone to whom I could honestly recommend this book." --John Preece

Hello? Excuse me? Mr. Mitchell? Who he?

A writing friend, an award-winning book reviewer for print and online publications, and who has been quoted in Publisher's Review on more than one occasion, upon reading this review states:

It appears that the editor of this publication doesn't proof his book reviewers' articles--as seen by the reviewer calling you by a different last name. What is more troubling, is it is obvious that the "reviewer" didn't read your book at all or at least not in its entirety. He seems to be copying details from the blurb on the back cover and possibly picked up something from your blog, but he doesn't authoratively discuss the plot, the characterizations or the over-all tone of the piece. (He does seem to have an ax to grind against "historical romance" or novels in general. Where did he come up with this idea your book is a romance anyhow? I'd classify it as "historical fiction" since Imaginations are a "fictional" concept as you explained it to me.) I find this "review" very sloppy journalism, and paints all of us who write professional book reviews as incompetents. I mean, how can you trust this person's opinion (and by extension, the magazine's) on anything if they can't 1) bother to proofread articles for inaccuracies before publication, and 2) they don't insist on their "reviewers" reading the entire book before reviewing it. Very disappointing on the whole.

So what would you do in my place? As the quote above says, it's very disappointing. I had hoped to receive an honest review from someone who would see this as a novel and not a dedicated wargames publication full of rules, background data etc. How do you feel if you've read the review -- do you think this reviewer has 1) read the book 2) has an axe to grind against novels in general and romance in particular (and why did he assume the book is an historical romance? Anyone who has read the book would know it isn't). 3) I can understand publisher Henry Hyde had some personal troubles to deal with recently, but why did Battlegames magazine let this pass un-copyedited?

I am rather hurt by this, and don't know if I should pursue the matters outlined above with Battlegames or not. At the moment I'm working on the next volume of The Hetzenberg Chronicles - The Heat of Battle - but such a "review" from a respected magazine doesn't make it easy to continue. Any help or advice you fans of the Hetzenberg Chronicles can give will be appreciated.

Thanks for reading and for your support,

A J Matthews - not Mitchell!


If you feel inspired, give A J a comment at his "Hetzenberg Chronicles" blog and let him know that all is not lost. Thanks.

Why Can't We All Just Learn to Recycle?

You're not seeing things—that's a piano….sitting by a dumpster. It's being thrown out. It wasn't a particularly good piano (I couldn't get it to make a sound), but you'd think its last owner could have found another home for it instead of simply tossing it out on the junk heap, wouldn't you?

I discovered the piano the other night while out walking with the hubby. He honestly didn't see it when I pointed it out to him, and he's got better eyesight than I do. The reason he didn't see it was probably because there are so many items being dumped in our neighborhood on a weekly basis that something the size of a piano doesn't really make a mark on your conscious. We regularly spy sofas, overstuffed chairs, kitchen tables, end tables, mattresses, dressers, plastic cabinets, bookshelves, entertainment centers, televisions, lamps, urns, carpets, Christmas decorations, etc., being put out with the trash. A lot of these items we've put to good use, too.




And before you ask, yes, we do have mandatory recycling where we live. We have to sort our garbage out into bins for plastics, papers, metals and other recyclable materials. But for some unknown reason, you can't make people pick up the phone and call Goodwill or the Salvation Army to take away these large items to sell and put the money to good use. Sad, isn't it?

If you don't want to garage sale your items, put them on Craig's List, or donate them to a charity shop, people like us will continue to put them to good use ourselves (if we can use and/or move the item—the piano was a bit out of our league). But wouldn't it be nice if we could all come up with a better alternative to rid ourselves of old furniture items rather than sending them off to the landfill?

Hot Time in the City

Hot time! Summer in the city--back of my neck gettin' hot and gritty!

Yeah, it's summer, it's sweltering, and my melted brain has resorted to quoting (badly I might add) lyrics from a classic top 40 hit. It can't get much worse than this, huh?

Well, all hasn't been that bad this summer. The handsome man and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary on July 3rd. Yipee!! We still haven't killed each other (yet) in spite of the heat. The honeymoon keeps going on and on.

Revisiting the scene of the crime--er, our wedding in the park gazebo!

And we've done a bit of "time-traveling" again at a regional historical re-enactment. Here are some photos from the first ever "Muster at Forest Glen". It was held at a very lovely park near Danville, Illinois, and a good contingent of French and Indian War re-enactors showed up (in spite of the horrible heat and humidity) and some of the public did as well, too.

Discussing topics of high importance--like how to avoid the French field surgeon who'd bleed you to death!

Drilling before the battle.

You try smiling in the heat in all these layers. Our ancestors were first-rate masochists!

Big cannon goes KA-BOOM!

Diana demonstrates the art of spinning to eager young minds.

Adrian hits the bullseye with his tomahawk throw. Don't mess with him, Frenchpersons!

The British contingent at colors.

As soon as it cools down here, I promise to write something more coherent. In the meantime, all we can do is sit and fan ourselves silly... There's really nothing else one can do when it's 110 degrees in the shade, is there?

Defeating the Slushpile Monster - Now in print!

Now in print from Smiling Assassin Productions, my funny writer's how-NOT-to Defeating the Slushpile Monster

According to a recent National Education Association's Reading at Risk study, 15 million Americans have attempted some kind of "creative writing".

Very few of these writers have had their work successfully published.

Are you one of them?

Want to know how you can improve your chances?


You can find the answers in my funny guide for serious writers. Laugh while you learn how you can improve your manuscript's chances of surviving the arduous submission process. Find out how "Only You Can Prevent Formatting Follies" and how to avoid those "Prose Pile-Ups on Publication Road".


An excerpt from Defeating the Slushpile Monster by Cindy A. Matthews:

Editors are busy people. Sometimes they are not in a very good frame of mind by the time they've read their way down a stack of submissions to reach yours. In order to improve your chances, you've got to make the editor want to read your manuscript, even if the office is dark and spooky and she's sitting all alone in her cubicle.

How do you go about doing that?

The answer is so simple you'll probably slap your forehead in disgust for not thinking of it first: Never submit a first draft.

The purple-crayon manuscript was a first draft manuscript. It doesn't matter if the author claims to have re-written her story two-hundred times before she sent it in for consideration, the end result is the same.

The purple-crayon manuscript suffers from a terminal case of first-draftitis. Remember, an editor is a busy person. (Feel free to substitute the word "agent" for editor throughout this text if it applies to your situation.) An editor has neither the time nor inclination to help you shape up your story. Your novel needs to be complete, and it needs to be publishable with only minor fixes. To submit anything else to an editor is to waste his or her valuable time.

This point cannot be emphasized enough and is perhaps more true today than ever before. Only best-selling authors like Stephen King, Nora Roberts or J.K. Rowling can sell a first draft for seven figures or more. But, then again, these big-names probably could sell their hand-scribbled grocery lists for at least half that much. We no-name writers should be so lucky!

I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but I'd rather you hear the following from me rather than from someone with less tact. So get the moony-eyed notion out of your head right now as I deliver the bad news: Editors have better things to do with their time than work with you to improve your book until it meets their standards for publication.

I know it hurts to think you and your book aren't special, but there you go. If you make the mistake of writing a letter to an editor asking her to make an exception just for you, she'll promptly tell you that sort of thing isn't in her job description and reject your work without even reading a page.

What are some of the symptoms of first draftitis? Can this dreaded manuscript disease be avoided?

Read on. You'll see that most cases are far from deadly and that the patient can be resuscitated easily and live to become published another day.

Your Manuscript = Your Business Card

Have you ever been on a job interview? Have you ever attended a business convention? Have you ever owned and run your own business? If you've done any of these things, then you probably have encountered business cards.

A business card has a dual purpose. First of all, it tells people who you are. It says, "I'm Joe Blow, licensed plumber," or "I'm Betty Buys-a-Lot, personal shopper." Secondly, a business card tells a potential customer or client what to expect from you and your service. "Pipes unclogged in five minutes flat or double your money back." "Hate shopping for your mother-in-law's birthday? I can help!"

Pretty basic, right?

So, what is a writers business card? Why, his or her manuscript, of course. Remember, the editor is a busy person. She wants to read your manuscript and quickly make up her mind if her publishing firm can use your services. She needs to be convinced from the very first line, the very first paragraph, the very first page that you are who you claim to be—a capable writer—and that you can deliver the goods—a complete, publishable manuscript.

Your job is to make your business card as professional as possible. No sprinkled lavender cologne, no fancy fonts, print faces or paper colors. This is a professional presentation—not your teenager's diary. Act like a professional and you will be treated as such.


Defeating the Slushpile Monster now available in print. (E-formats available from Uncial Press.)

The City of the Sun

We toured Cahokia, the so-called "lost city of the sun", over Memorial Day weekend. I had briefly mentioned the Cahokians, and even gave a possible reason to their sudden disappearance in my book HANGING WITH A TIME SURFER, but I hadn't visited it in person until now.

There are many, many "mounds" of various sizes and shapes at the site, but it is Monk's Mound that is by far the most famous. Over twenty-two million cubic tons of dirt was hauled by human labor alone to create the structure. The Cahokians did not have pack animals. It took about 300 years they estimate for them to build the final mound as we see it today, from about 900 to 1200 AD.





A recreation of some of the towering stockade that surrounded the "sacred precincts" of Monk's Mound and the homes of the elite citizens. 20,000 trees were used and it was over 2 miles in circumference. It was rebuilt about four times in the history of the city. With an urban density of 4500 people per square mile, Cahokia (or whatever its true name was--now lost as well) was every bit as cosmopolitan as the St. Louis metro area in which it resides currently.




The Monk's Mound as seen from across the way. It does look like a hill--but how the heck did a hill get there? Eventually, the thick-headed French and English speakers in the 18th century figured out it was a man-made construction. Still, they built farms on top of it, potentially damaging precious archaeological remains.




It was the equivalent of walking up ten flights of steps to get to the top of Monk's Mound. Yes, that's TEN flights of steps. On a hot, humid, sunny day... good exercise!




The brave adventurers made it to the top of the Monk's Mound and have enough energy to smile!



Adrian points out the summer solstice at the "Woodhenge" calendar site. They built a sun calendar similar to Stonehenge. Actually they built about 5 or 6 of them over the centuries. Predicting the seasons were important to the Cahokians, who planted an abundance of corn and traded widely, from Wisconsin to the tip of Florida and from the Eastland woodlands to the Rockies.



Everyone loves a good mystery, and the "lost city of the sun" is a good one. The worrisome problem is that this U.N. World Heritage Site could be "lost" once more--to urban sprawl. We need to do what we can to save the memories of our ancestors before it is too late. Learn more about Cahokia and how you can help preserve our nation's prehistoric heritage at their web site: http://www.cahokiamounds.org/

Steampunk!

Chip-chip! Cheerio! We're off on an African safari... Not quite! Keep reading to see where these wonderfully costumed individuals are up to.


Steampunk takes on the science fiction genre from a sort-of-Jules Verne or H.G. Wells point of view. These photos were taken recently at the first annual Steamposium convention. This shot shows Captain (Professor) Theophilus Saxe admiring a bit of steampunk ingenuity at the City Museum in St. Louis, Missouri. "Marvelous stuff!" cried the professor. What does it do? We haven't a clue!

Baron Von Bar demonstrated his portable refreshment device. Quite interesting. I can imagine it would be very popular at fraternity parties and spring holidays for collegiate types.


Professor Saxe stands proudly at the gates. Pith helmets and paramilitary garb seems to work well within the steampunk genre. (And it just plain looks good while standing next to an example of Victorian architecture.)

The professor enjoyed a ride in a Victorian "lift" even while it was grounded at the architectural display at the City Museum.



Advanced weaponry with a brass and copper twist were evident. This Prussian officer's weapon was quite imposing (but harmless).


Who you going to call when you have Victorian era ghosts? You know who--Ghostbusters Steampunk style!

You can never how too many brass bits on your head. Never at a steampunk tea party!


These charming gentlemen were typical of your steampunk enthusiast. Extremely bright and creative, you can see that our gent in the red waistcoat doesn't let the 9 pound mechanical arm resting on his shoulder frighten him away.

Because, after all, steampunk is a fun activity for the whole family--right down to the youngest explorer in the group. The professor and I certainly had a good time at Steamposium and can't wait until we can don our pith helmets and brass goggles once more.

Rebirths and Renewals

The last week of winter turned into a beautiful spring-like fest in the Midwest. It has greatly revived my spirits.

I've always liked the springtime. Spring is the season of rebirths and renewals. The tiny crocus flower pokes its tender green shoots above the cold soil, promising delicate purple blossoms within the week. The daffodils and lilies soon follow heralding Easter, the celebration of the resurrection of our savior—the ultimate rebirth, the victory of love over death itself.

On a more ordinary level, March brings a novel release from yours truly, the re-release of my romantic-comedy of errors Scrambled Eggs. The story starts out on a windy early spring day where our heroine Sharlene literally runs over the hero Zack on a street corner with a baby carriage. Yeah, you got that right--a baby carriage. I think the whimsical cover art depicts the scene pretty accurately, with equal amounts of humor, attraction and embarrassment evident.



To buy Scrambled Eggs head over to Mojocastle Press. You can read a short excerpt as well there.

Speaking of new releases, I've got a new domain name for my non-fiction site. The "old last name" is no more, since I've been married for almost nine joyous months to fellow author Adrian J. Matthews. The new domain name is CindyAMatthews.com and I have another re-release coming soon from Smiling Assassin Productions. My funny writer's guide, The Curse of the Manuscript-Eating Slushpile Monster, which is currently available in e-formats from Uncial Press, will soon become available in a handy trade paperback print book. Retitled Defeating the Slushpile Monster, it contains the same helpful info as the Uncial Press e-book with the added bonus of a few extra tips from my booklet Straight Answers to Tough Writing Questions. Yes, wannabe writers you'll get all this along with a great (and funny) new cover, too.



March really is the month of rebirths and renewals. Hopefully my fiction and my non-fiction books will help jumpstart my rather sluggish writing career. March being my birthday month as well, you might say I've "renewed" myself by turning another year older. Hmm... looking at all the candles on my cake, maybe I should have skipped that particular renewal, huh?

Happy Easter, y'all!

Love is... a Banoffee Pie

Love is… a Banoffee Pie


I was going to write something deeply profound and touching about how wonderful it is when you finally meet your soul mate and marry him and share a lovely, romantic weekend together… but I won't.

Instead, I will give you all a recipe for Banoffee Pie.

What has a delicious toffee-cream-banana-topped pie in a graham cracker crust got to do with love? A lot, since my beautiful soul mate is making one for me this very instant in honor of our first Valentine's Day together as man and wife. And if you can't figure out how several cups of brown sugar and condensed milk shows how "sweet" he is on me, then you need to stop rinsing your mouth out daily in vinegar and watch a marathon of Groundhog Day, The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates.

Then you'll see what I mean.

Banoffee Pie

1 - graham cracker pie crust (or make a crushed cookie pie crust of your own choosing)

5 ½ oz. unsalted butter
2/3 cup of brown sugar
14 oz. can condensed milk

2 –bananas cut up in coin-shaped slices
10 oz. whipping cream
some chopped, toasted hazelnuts (if you like)
chocolate shavings (if you like)


To make the toffee filling, place butter and sugar in a saucepan and heat until the sugar is dissolved, the pour in the condensed milk. Cook over a medium heat for 5 – 6 minutes, stirring continuously until the mixture has thickened and turned golden. Hint: scrape the bottom of the pan continuously as you stir. Don't overcook it or your mixture will turn to thick fudge.

Pour the toffee mixture into the pie crust and chill one hour until firm.

Slice bananas and place on top of the toffee mixture. Whip the cream until it holds its shape and pile on top of the bananas, then decorate the top with chopped nuts and chocolate shavings as you like. Enjoy!

Happy Valentine's Day!