Cynthianna's Blog, page 20

Fighting Cancer: A Love Story

I've been meaing to write something about Mom's cancer fight for a while now, but words have failed me. It's not that I don't have something to say--whenever did I not have something to say? It's just that the overwhelming-ness of the situation tends to shut down my thought processes.

Where to begin? At the moment we first heard the dreaded pronouncement? At the moment she realized something wasn't quite right? I doubt we'll ever know when Mom knew herself, as she keeps her cards close to her chest, but how would that information help? The overwhelming feelings still cause me to stop dead in my tracks.

The only words that come to me are "love story". You ask, "Love story? How could you associate those two words with your mother's illness?" I wonder that, too. But since they've come to me over and over whenever I tried to put pen to paper there must be some truth to them.

Taking care of an ailing loved one doesn't sound romantic--and it sure isn't--but it is often a necessity. Duty equals love and love equals duty. We feel obligated to take care of the person who once took care of us. Parent and child roles reverse.

At first I balked at the notion: She's an adult! She should take care of herself! But then the reality kicks in: She needs our help... Who am I to tell her no?

Perhaps the roles have outlived their usefulness. I can return the favor of loving her like she loved me when I was small and helpless.

She's still my mother, and I am still her child, but I can also play the role of parent when she needs me to. Duty is fulfilled and honor is maintained.

Now, if only she would eat her lunch...



That's it for now. I may write more about our experiences later. Feel free to share your own love stories of fighting cancer in the comments section. Thanks.

An excerpt from Unalone

To celebrate Archon 35 this weekend, here's an extended excerpt from my latest science fiction tale, Unalone.
Unalone by CynthiannaAvailable from Devine Destinies Books http://tinyurl.com/unalone1
Space cargo pilot Calinda crash lands on a desolate world during an intra-galactic conflict. Bitter and injured, she doesn't expect to live long enough to be rescued. Then she encounters a strange non-corporeal being who can mimic anyone she imagines—who reads her secret thoughts and loves her as she is. But can loner Calinda truly come to accept what it means to become "unalone"?

An excerpt from Unalone:
            The dream wouldn't go away. Calinda kept shaking her head and rubbing her eyes, but still the vision persisted. Oh, what the hell! If I'm dead and this is my version of the hereafter I'd better just relax and get used to it. . .                Seeing her long dead mother wasn't the most upsetting thing about her hallucination. It was the fact that her mother was taking care of her, nursing her back to health in what appeared to be the remnants of her ship. Where had Mom learned to bandage and set broken limbs? Her mother had been a radio-astronomer, not a medic, and Calinda remembered her saying once how she couldn't stand the sight of blood. Maybe in the years since her death she had taken on a new career in medicine?                Calinda blinked and rubbed her eyes again. This way lay madness! Her mother was dead, and, furthermore, if she wasn't deceased how the hell did she get onto this deserted planetoid in the middle of God knows where? That—and a few dozen other pressing questions—needed immediate explanation.                Awkwardly lifting herself up from the makeshift bed, she collapsed with a cry of pain, tears flowing freely down her bandaged face.                "Don't try to move, Cali," the mother-image commanded. "Your neck isn't broken but it's severely bruised and there could be some other injury to your spinal cord I haven't yet been able to determine."                "Mom?" Calinda heard herself feebly utter. "Is it really you?"                "Of course, dear. Who else could I be?"                With that the mother-image turned back to what she had been doing, assembling a portable shelter dome and air lock. Her mother a mechanic, too? The thought intrigued her. Her father had always been more of the handy-man.                Calinda blinked. Her eyes were playing tricks on her again. Where once stood her mother, now stood the image of her father. Turning forcefully from his assembly work, he barked in his all too familiar fashion:                "Lie down, girl! I told you there could be more extensive injuries. I have to get this dome together before I can attempt any more. . . any more healing."                "Father?" she pleaded, "What are you dong here? You and Mom were killed in an explosion at Spacestation 12. I had your remains cremated and scattered over Alta-9 as your will requested.  I—"                "Be still! Or will I have to put you over my knee like I did when you were little?"                Calinda immediately obeyed. This has to be my father. No one else besides me and Mom knew how he believed in that ancient method of punishment.                Eyes closed, but acutely aware of the image's every movement, she summoned the energy and courage to speak once again.                "You still haven't answered by questions, Father, if I may call you that?"                "You may," it replied without taking its attention from the task at hand. "Hmm—I'm not too certain where this little bit goes."                So it wasn't infallible whatever it was. "Bring it over here.  I may be able to help. I once had to use one of those things when our all-terrain transport broke down on Daros-2."                The father-image laid aside the troublesome piece and approached slowly. Calinda's fear became engulfed by a luminous mist.                I had not seen that memory before—the trip to Daros-2. I see how the parts fit together now.                What is happening to me? Calinda cried, the thoughts echoing in her mind. I don't see anything but the mist, but I hear a voice speaking to me? It isn't my father or my mother….                 Do not worry, Calinda. I will not harm you. The voice is mine—or what your mind interprets to be a voice since I have no vocal apparatus. I could only grasp a minute amount of knowledge for the preservation of your species on my world while you lay unconscious, but now that you are awake perhaps I will be able to discover more.                Who—or what—are you?                I am the mist, Calinda. It is beyond my current capability to explain further. Rest assured that when I have fully grasped the complexities and nuances of your communication process I will reveal all that I am to you. It would be better that you sleep now. Your body is healing and will be for some time.                She forced herself to stay alert, but the fatigue quickly overwhelmed her. How can I sleep? I'm alone on a strange planet, dying for all I know, and this strange disembodied voice is telling me to relax! I have to know more! I need more information. . .                Know this then: You are not alone. I am here. I am your friend.


 Unalone  available in e-formats at Devine Destinies (a division of eXtasy Books):http://tinyurl.com/unalone1

See You at Archon...

I hope to see you at the Archon SF convention at the Gateway Convention Center in Collinsville, Illinois, September 30-October 2. Be sure to drop in on one of my panels and say hello. I enjoy chatting with my readers.  I should be bringing some copies of my funny writers' guide, Defeating the Slushpile Monster, too. :)

Sorry not to post much lately, but we've been out of town helping my mom out while she undergoes chemotherapy... Yes, she's finally able to admit to the world that she's battling the "big C". It's been a difficult month and a half for us all, but so far she's doing as well as to be expected.

But today, I'm back on my home computer and able to shout out about my latest Celine Chatillon release from eXtasy Books, BRANDI WHYNE AND HER INCREDIBLY EROTIC ADVENTURES: Chapter 7--Brandi's Best Revenge! :)

Check it out in various e-formats at:

http://www.extasybooks.com/brandi-whyne-7-3/
or http://tinyurl.com/brandi-7

Here's the quick synopsis:

In Chapter 7, Brandi's Best Revenge, the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip encounter their time bandit contact in their own dimension—Robin's ex-girlfriend, Marian Maidenform. But all is not quite as it seems aboard Marian's ship, and seducing the hunky android Andrew becomes part of Brandi's revenge against the cold yet sexy woman who broke Robin's heart. But what does K.R.A.P.P. have to do with the balance of power on Old Terra? Brandi and her pals are determined to find out.

To receive your very own PDF copy of "Outrageous Extended Excerpts" from all the chapters (well, up to number 6) by simply dropping me an email with "Free Ebook" in the subject line. celinechatillon @ hotmail.com


And be sure to check out Brandi's very own blog for an excerpt and more:


http://brandi-whyne.blogspot.com


Because every fictional character deserves a blog!

Something I learned today: The Mobi format works well on the Kindle e-reader...  PDF formats work well, too. Now there's no excuse not to buy directly from my publisher (for the biggest discounts) and read any of my ebooks on your Kindle device! ;)

The Buck Stops Here Because We're Mad-As-Hell

The Buck Stops Here Because We're Mad-As-Hell
by Cindy A. Matthews
Everything seems to be going downhill quickly these days in the US economy and in the political arena. Not being a politically active type of person, I can't imagine the stress and horror die-hard Wall Street types and party members must be feeling lately. My husband and I discussed the dire situation we're all in the other day and hit upon what we feel is the perfect solution to all our problems.
We simply need to junk the current two party system and begin again.
As Thomas Jefferson once said, "A government big enough to give you everything is big enough to take everything away," so we're going to do just that--take it all away. To this end, we have started a third party that will sweep the next federal elections and clean out the seriously-self-centered halls of Congress. It will be a party of the little people (not that we can't stand to lose a few pounds, but pasta is so much cheaper than meat when you're living on unemployment). It will be a party made up on non-career politicians who only want to serve their fellow little people and then come home to the family farm, ranch, restaurant, shop, etc. You know—the way the original founders sort of envisioned our elected representatives would be like before all this political party bickering began in the election of 1800.
And we think we have just the right name for it.


"The-Mad-As-Hell-And-We're-Not-Going-To-Take-This-Anymore" party or (TMAHAWNGTTTA party for short) is titled after that classic line from the classic film Network. Howard Beale (our party mascot—who needs an elephant or a donkey?) was a news anchor who told everyone to go to their windows and start screaming our party's name until something happened to fix the world's ills.
Network was quite a prescient story, and I don't think it's any coincidence that the mid 1970s and the early 21st century have a lot in common—energy crisis, pollution crisis, unemployment, corrupt politicians (remember Watergate?), trouble in the Middle East, etc. So now is the time to learn from our mistakes we made forty years ago and clean up our economy and Congress and our environment all at the same time. As another little man once said, "The buck stops here," and we'd better stop it in case it slides down further in comparison with other world currencies.


For Mad-as-Hell president we're thinking of nominating Weird Al Yankovic. "Why Weird Al?" you may ask.Weird Al's parody songs demonstrates he's a keen observer of the culture and what's wrong with it. Even if he can't fix everything within four years he can at least entertain us with a polka version of the Star Spangled Banner. For vice president, my hubby suggests Sarah Palin (to gain the media's notice) but I'm leaning more toward Cyndi Lauper. "Girls just wanna have fun" and who is having any fun in a time of economic and political crisis? Cyndi may just be able to help us on this very important point. (And I like how she spells our  shared first name to boot.)


Our platform will be made out of good old-fashioned, renewable wood. We stand for clean air, clean water, clean food, clean cities, clean language on the TV and clean underwear. But most of all we stand apart from those other politicians who seem to think that pointing the finger at the guy (or gal) across the aisle from them in the House of Representatives somehow defines what "good government" should be like.
If you want to join our party and start the crusade toward sanity, please feel free to forward this blog to your friends, family and other members of the human race. Tweet it up and Facebook and Google+ it to death. We're "Mad-As-Hell-And-We're-Not-Going-To-Take-This-Anymore" and we're coming soon to a local, state, and/or federal office near you. We thank you for your support.

The Space Crawl

The Space Crawl
It sounds like a new kind of swimming stroke or perhaps a retro-dance from the sixties. Unfortunately, it's probably the most accurate way to describe the current state of the manned space program in the U.S.
The shuttle Atlantis' recent landing ended the space shuttle era. Now the U.S. finds itself with only one way to get its astronauts to the International Space Station: pay the Russians for a seat aboard a Soyuz capsule. At $51 to $67 million a person, it's one of the most expensive taxis in the universe. And what's more, only one American can go at a time, since the other two slots are  for Russian Cosmonauts.
I know a lot of folks out there wonder why someone who professes a "green bent" and is into "reduce, reuse and recycle" would mourn the end of the Space Race era. Yes, I admit I miss all the excitement of watching a Saturn V launch from Cape Canaveral and streak toward the moon. I miss the fuzzy video of astronauts walking and driving across the lunar landscape. I miss the sheer terror of the capsule splashdown at sea. But what I think I will miss the most is our loss of pride and obvious intelligence. The U.S. has let its manned space program essentially collapse under the weight of bureaucracy and politics, throwing thousands upon thousands of people who worked either directly and indirectly for NASA out of work.
How does putting thousands out of work, hamstringing our own manned space efforts, and losing all the momentum from the Space Race era help the current U.S. economy? Talk about not "reusing" and "recycling"! We're forcing professional rocket scientists, astronauts, and all their support personnel back into the workforce to compete with the rest of us for jobs at McDonald's and Wally-World.
All those wonderful inventions inspired by NASA like Tang and Velcro? Who cares! The Russians and Chinese will be creating—and marketing—all future tech inspired by space travel. The money and commerce this tech will generate will add a rosy glow to their economic futures. Too bad it won't be helping anyone in the good ol' U.S.A.
Who really needs to be innovative? Most Americans would probably say as long as they have their iPhone and reality TV shows they're perfectly happy to let others design and implement the world of tomorrow. They'll complain that their new playthings cost more--and that the instructions will be written in Russian or Chinese--but they'll adapt.
But all is not totally lost. In How to Build Your Own Spaceship by Piers Bizony, the author details which private enterprises are working on manned space transports and what sorts of future tech we'll be seeing in the next few decades. While he is cautiously optimistic, I can't help but think that, since these are private individuals and corporations creating the space tech, they won't be sharing the benefits of said tech freely with the public.
And all those lovely photos taken in space that NASA gave away for nothing? We might have to pay to see the next coolest galaxy spied from a private spacecraft. We might have to sign up to  a pay-on-demand channel to see the first fuzzy images from a private moonbase or trip to Mars. Sure, if you have a big chunk of change you too can fly on Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic shuttle, but how many of us will be able to afford it? We'll be working at McDonald's.
One online article stated that while thousands of NASA astronauts, scientists and engineers were about to be thrown out of work by the end of the shuttle program, the bureaucrats at NASA held no fear—their jobs were simply going to be moved to another department.
Paper-pushers push out the innovators of technology that has helped us all live better lives... Uh-huh. I say let's recycle the paper-pushers and put the rocket scientists back to work. I'd rather my taxes go to support the creators of future space technology. I'd rather see the infinite stars than endless miles of red tape. Wouldn't you?

Container Gardening

I've been meaning to post another blog about what all we've been doing this summer to go "green", but life crises got in the way (again). All is not lost, however. We plan on attending a seminar on how to use solar power in the city this coming week, and a couple of weeks ago we attended the first annual St. Louis Sustainable Backyard Garden Tour. Organic veggies, bees, chickens and goats--all growing in peoples' backyards in an urban setting. It proves that it is possible to get in touch with nature and get away from processed food, one chicken at a time... But first, here are some photos of our own "sustainable garden" growing in containers on our very hot and very narrow balcony:

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The tomato plant got off to a good start and has produced two Roma tomatoes already.

[image error] The pepper plant really took off after we planted some spaghetti squash next to it. Perhaps she was lonely?

[image error] The very first "hula hoop" pepper!

[image error] Our containers are not pretty or even store bought, but found plastic tubs, buckets and old styrofoam boxes.


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Here's a happy hen we met on the sustainable tour in Webster Groves. Even though the chicken house was just mere yards away from a train track, the noise of the engines blaring past every few minutes didn't phase her and her feathered friends one bit.

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These three gals were very happy eating blueberries from their master's hand... and lived in the city proper. We learned a lot about egg production and how entertaining raising poultry can be.

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Having your own beehive would keep you in honey, but all those swarming bees make me a bit nervous.

[image error] Aquatic organic agriculture: crayfish being raised in a rain-fed backyard pond. Both pretty and productive.

Released today: Unalone from Devine Destinies

If you enjoy science-fiction/futuristic fiction, then you might enjoy my newest DD release, UNALONE:


[image error]
Space cargo pilot Calinda crash lands on a desolate world during an intra-galactic conflict. Bitter and injured, she doesn't expect to live long enough to be rescued. Then she encounters a strange non-corporeal being who can mimic anyone she imagines—who can read her secret thoughts and still loves her as she is. Can a loner truly love an alien being who lives inside her mind? Can Calinda truly come to accept what it means to become "unalone"?




Available for a very modest price at Devine Destinies books:


http://tinyurl.com/unalone






Cindy
writing as Cynthianna

Pretty in Pink

This past Saturday I took part of the local Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I wore my pink ribbon walking shoes (purchased at the Breast Cancer Store web site) but I didn't exactly walk... I sang my way through the race!


The River Blenders chorus members gather at Market and 17th.


Pink tops make us look like a flock of flamingos!

  
Director Diane Huber leads us in the 49th reprise of "I Will Survive." Our other top request was "We Are Family."


 Even Elvis made an appearance at the race!


About 60,000 people take to the streets of downtown St. Louis. Will we have a cure for breast cancer soon? I hope so, don't you?

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle--and Rethink

The sun is setting on the age of fossil fuels...

A few folks out there have asked me questions about how green energy works and what they should be doing about it upon discovering I'm currently enrolled in an energy technician program with hopes of gaining a BPI Building Analyst certification. What that means is that I'm trying to become an "energy auditor". With those credentials I'll be able to inspect and write up a report on how energy efficient a home or business is. With that information, a home or business owner can take steps to lower their energy bills.

Why is finding out how energy efficient a building is all that important? If you don't know then obviously you're not the person in charge of paying your family's electric, gas, trash removal, water and/or sewage bills these past few years. To further break your bubble of ignorance on issues of world significance, I regret to inform you that fossil fuels (that is, petroleum products, natural gas, coal and their variants) are a dwindling resource. On top of that, the CO2 gases they emit when burned/used could very well be the culprits of global warming.

And here you thought $4 a gallon gasoline was bad!

Sorry to bring you down for a moment, but I feel the public has a right to know. After all, we're the ones paying the bills, and the decisions we make now will have lasting effects on our children's and grandchildren's futures.

Since this is going to be a short blog posting, I'm going to keep things really simple. It's easier on both of us that way. The best things you can do right now to help save energy, keep the planet cleaner and greener are what I'd term "The Four R's": Reduce, reuse, recycle and rethink.

The last one is my own invention, as I'll admit the first three R's have been a mantra for many enlightened people for some time now. In my opinion, however, the rethinking aspects can't be understated. It's great to recycle our food packaging, and it's wonderful when we come up with new ways to use old things such as furniture and disused buildings, and it's fantastic to reduce our use of water by planting only plants that are native to our area which can thrive on rainfall alone. But without changing our mindset about what it really means to take care of our planet, these measures alone will not help us meet the goal of keeping it alive.

What do we need to "rethink"? Just about everything! Admit it—most of our three R's have been rather token measures. We're still buying agribusiness-sponsored fast food packaged in an over-abundance of paper goods, and we do so by driving gas-guzzling SUVs through drive-thrus with our engines idling during our lunch hour. Sure, we may recycle the paper goods (if we're able), but if we had done the fourth R—rethink—we'd never find ourselves in this situation in the first place.

We'd grow a lot of our own veggies or buy them from local farmers who may use organic techniques eliminating the overuse of pesticides and petrochemicals. We'd make ourselves a healthy brown bag lunch (in a reusable cloth sack with reusable containers to hold our sandwich and fixings) instead of buying fast food that is processed using additives and other potentially unhealthy chemicals in a manufacturing plant located thousands of miles from where we live and trucked in using even more fossil fuels.

We'd walk from our place of work and eat our lunch in the park. No starting up of the ol' gas-guzzler necessary. In fact, we might even bike or walk to work in the first place, blissfully ignoring the $4 a gallon gas station signs.

We'd walk or bike home in the afternoon and not turn on every light, appliance and electronic entertainment system imaginable in our homes--including the newest home energy hog, the flat screen TV. (Who knows? We might even rediscover the joy of reading!) We'd open the windows and let the breezes cool our home in the summer, and we'd put on an extra sweater and keep our thermostats under 67 degrees F in the winter. We might even buy our clothing from Goodwill or make our own sweater with our own knitting or crochet needles. When it got too worn or we'd outgrown it, we'd pass it on to others or recycle the fibers so others could make something useful out it.

If the inhabitants of the Western World emulated some of these habits of the inhabitants of the so-called Third World Nations, we'd probably be halfway there in our rethinking process. We'd understand that to continually think "More is better! I must have the latest gadget, drive the biggest car, use the most resources I can afford, etc.," is not healthy and is certainly not true. We'd realize the lies we tell ourselves on a daily basis are killing us and our planet.

In short, the first three R's alone will not save us or our planet unless our hearts and minds come along for the ride. Rethink how you use energy. Rethink how you use resources—from the paper that wraps us a greasy hamburger to the combustion engine vehicle that adds to the CO2 problem and further depletes the remaining fossil fuels.

Rethink how you'll tell your children and grandchildren why you feel your planet—their planet--deserves to be in the state it's in today.

I've been nominated for a Stylish Blogger Award

I always thought I had class. ;)

Style? Well, that depends on who you ask. My daughters are always saying things like, "You're not going to wear that, are you?" So, being nominated for a Stylish Blogger Award is quite an honor, even if I had to beg my handsome hubby to do so. ;)

Check out his wonderful blog, The Hetzenberg Chronicles, and you'll see he's someone with style and class to spare.


As part of the award, I have to tell you seven things you don't know about me. Hmm...where to start? My life's pretty much an open book!

1.) I'm allergic to onions. This is sad, because I actually do like the way they taste, but they don't seem to like my digestive tract anymore. I'm ill if I even get a whiff of them lately.

2.) I am part Blackfeet and Cree. The other parts are primarily Scots-Irish and German-French. Call me "Heinz 57".

3.) I was a Girl Scout for ten years. I have a pin somewhere to prove it, too!

4.) I have never watched a complete episode of Seinfeld. After about five minutes I'd start yawning and inevitably switch the channel or watch a DVD instead.

5.) I could handle driving on the left side of the road in England, but those British drivers? They're insane speeders and road hogs! (Handsome hubby is excluded from this description of British drivers. He drives quite well.)

6.) I have lost count of how many times I've seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's probably somewhere near the triple digits.

7.) I once was a mezzo-soprano. I could easily hit an "F" above high C and sustain it at one time. (This is probably a great surprise to people who have heard me speak or sing in recent times. I'm most definitely a "bass" singer in the Sweet Adelines now. That would make me a very low alto. I enjoy singing the guys' tenor line on Christmas songs, too.)

Now my nominations for the Stylish Blogger Award... First up, AJ's Wargames Table, another great (and frequently updated with helpful hints) blog by a near and dear friend of mine. Secondly, I'll nominate Celine's Dreams, because I know for a fact that this chick has class! ;)