Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2314

Criterion’s BLOOD SIMPLE Blu-ray is Peak Coen Bros

It’s weird to think that I was only alive for about three months in a world with no Coen Bros movies. Their 32-year career as writers, producers, and directors of some of the most complex, thought-provoking, enjoyable, and weirdest movies ever made has been an especially fruitful one. They are truly singular (binary?) voices. Like all great auteurs, which Joel and Ethan Coen undoubtedly are, it’s fun to go back and look at their oldest films, to see where they’ve come from. Their debut feature, Blood Simple, remains one of their strangest and sparsest films in a catalog full of silence-filled oddities. Criterion has released the movie on Blu-ray, and it looks and sounds better than ever.

At once a typical neo-noir, a southern melodrama, and a straight-up horror movie, Blood Simple plays in a world where four different characters could be the protagonist and yet none of them actually are. Motivations are kept secret from even the audience most of the time, and nobody seems able to talk to each other rationally, either spouting jokes or outwardly threatening each other. It’s a case of constant misunderstanding and unfortunate happenstance that leads to some pretty gruesome, bloody deaths.

A young Frances McDormand plays Abby, the wife of Marty (Dan Hedaya), a local saloon owner in Nowheresville, TX. She has struck up a friendship with Ray (John Getz), a bartender at the bar, and it quickly becomes physical. Marty has suspected his young wife for some time of infidelity and has hired a slimy, sweaty, constantly-laughing private detective (M. Emmet Walsh) to follow them. He does, and gets pictures, which leads Marty to want to hire him to kill the couple. But if things were just that (blood) simple, it wouldn’t be a Coen Bros movie. Eventually everyone suspects each other of something, and characters are killed off, leading to a showdown between two people who had no other reason to meet in the first place.

I truly love Blood Simple, perhaps even more than I did in college when I first saw it. You can definitely see how it informed their later masterpieces like Fargo and No Country for Old Men. They also very clearly love the twistyness of a Jim Thompson or Dashiel Hammett pulp novel, because every frame of this film is dripping with pulpy goodness. I also forgot how much of its style and cinematography (by Barry Sonnenfeld) I ripped off whole cloth for a short film I made. When a not-quite-dead character is getting buried out in a field with nothing but the headlights to illuminate the action, that clearly stayed with me, because I did almost shot-for-shot the same thing in my student film. Awhoops!

The Blu-ray from Criterion sheds some delicious light on the making of the movie. Traditionally anti-commentary track (they oddly only ever did one, which was The Man Who Wasn’t There for some reason), the Coens here sit with Sonnenfeld for a sort of partial commentary. They’re in a room, and we see them as they watch the movie, and they have telestrators explaining various things. It’s not the whole movie, but cuts together in to a nice hour of humor and revelation.

Next up is a fantastic discussion about the film and their early career between Joel and Ethan and writer Dave Eggers. This is reminiscent of a similar discussion from the Inside Llewyn Davis with the Coens and Guillermo del Toro. These are incredibly fascinating and I hope Criterion gets to put out more Coens movies and will continue the trend.

Rounding out the disc’s extras, we have interviews with composer Carter Burwell, sound mixer Skip Lievsay, and actors Frances McDormand and M. Emmet Walsh, all of which offer much depth and context for things that happened in the film. McDormand’s interview really stands out as enlightening, given the film began not only her film career but her life with now-husband Joel Coen.

Blood Simple is a tremendous opening salvo in the Coen Bros’ career, and it’s still a surprisingly dark, chance-taking kind of movie that relies on visual storytelling in lieu of dialogue. Most first-timers over-write, but the Coens knew when to let the actor’s faces and actions tell the story. A good lesson for all budding filmmakers. And, just try to watch this movie and not have that Four Tops song in your head forever.

4.5 out of 5 burritos

Images: Criterion/Michael Boland/USA Films

Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!

Compilation of Household Items Melted in Super Detailed Macro

Any kid with a magnifying lens knows that there’s something inherently fun and silly about needlessly melting something, and that doesn’t go away just because you grow up. It just means that as an adult you can enjoying melting things in a much more sophisticated manner, film it with a super fancy camera, and upload it to the internet so that the rest of the world can have a moment of zen. And oh how satisfying it is.

This compilation of melted household items is the latest video from the YouTube channel Macro Room, which is dedicated to showing “the hidden beauty of our world” by filming regular items in macro. The technique allows for an up-close, intimate look that at things in a highly detailed way that a normal zoom wouldn’t be able to capture.

Macro filming is how a melting keyboard can quickly turn into an alien planet, or how a plastic toy dinosaur can look as though it was killed by a firing rocket ship. It’s also how we can see what a nightmare must look like for Sesame Street‘s Ernie, as a rubber ducky dissolves into a goo of yellow plastic.

Filming in macro really does produce some incredible footage, like this video they made of ice cream melting. I mean, we don’t endorse the wasting of ice cream, but if you are going to do it then this is as good a reason as any.

Now we need ice cream. While we get that, tell us what else you’d like to see them film in macro by popping into our comments section below and telling us your best suggestions.

Images: Macro Room

Stay in a Replica HOBBIT House Thanks to Airbnb

After Peter Jackson’s epic Lord of the Rings trilogy captured the imaginations of pretty much everyone on the planet fifteen years ago (yes, it has been that long), fans have been fantasizing about going to visit the Shire and living the Hobbit life, at least for a little while. Actually, they’ve been wanting to do that ever since J.R.R. Tolkien published the books back in the ’50s, but the movies just dialed the whole Middle-earth fever up to 11. For most people, “visiting Middle-earth” meant taking a trip to New Zealand, where Jackson’s trilogy was filmed.

But now, if you are looking for an extended stay in Hobbiton, you might not have to go overseas to do it anymore. That’s because a woman named Kristie Wolfe in Washington state has built a replica of Bilbo Baggins’ home, which she built into the side of a mountain in the Columbia River Gorge mountainside. And she’s listed the house on Airbnb, so if you’re wanting a Tolkienesque chance to get away from it all, you can do so now without breaking the bank. The video above from YouTube user Kirsten Dirksen (via BoingBoing) shows the whole journey that Wolfe went through to build the house, which, as you can imagine, was not an easy process.

Here’s the official description from the Airbnb listing:

Welcome to the Tiny House in the Shire, a hobbit inspired dwelling nestled right into the breathtaking Columbia River Gorge mountainside. Reverently framed by the iconic round doorway, the wondrous views will entrance your imagination and inspire an unforgettable journey. Every nook of this little habitation will warm your soul, every cranny will charm your expedition of repose. Up the pathway, tucked into the earth, an unbelievable adventure awaits!

So how many of you out there are considering a trip to Middle-earth Washington State now that you know you can go full Hobbit? Let us know down below in the comments.

Image: New Line Cinema

GOTHAM Season 3 Premiere Recap: ‘Mad City: Better to Reign In Hell’

Editor’s Note: as this is a recap, it contains major spoilers for the season 3 premiere of Gotham. Don’t say we didn’t warn ya!

Fellow Gotham fans, we made it! The long summer has finally ended and Gotham is back on our TV screens, ensuring all is right in the world. Well, okay, a lot is actually pretty wrong in the world of Gotham—especially for our main guy Jim Gordon. And I’m back to recap all the gloom and doom for another season of the Fox/DC Comics drama, so let’s get right into things, shall we?

“Mad City: Better to Reign In Hell” opened with a Gordon making good on his season two finale promise. He went and found his ex Lee, but what he found was not the picture he was hoping for: she was happily with another man. The show immediately smash cut from his heartbroken face to six months later back in Gotham, where Gordon was now working as a bounty hunter for the GCPD for cash, bringing in the Indian Hill escapees. Turns out he had no interest in becoming a cop again. The breakup was clearly hitting him hard, though—this is the darkest Gordon we’ve seen on the show yet. But Lucius Fox is having quite the opposite experience: he quit Wayne Enterprises after uncovering how corrupt it was to work as a scientist for the GCPD, and he and Bullock are becoming the best of friends. But no one will ever replace Gordon for Bullock, because theirs is a friendship that will last forever. I ship it.

And there’s another new ‘ship to watch out for this season: Valerie Vale, a reporter for the Gotham Gazette, who was hot on the trail of the Indian Hill escapees story and won’t leave Gordon alone until she finds the truth. That means bugging him in his favorite bar until he agreed to help her on her story. Do we detect sparks flying? Can she be the one to bring a smile back to his face post-Lee? Here’s hoping.

Meanwhile, Penguin is still on the hunt six months later to find Fish Mooney, and he’s offering a cold million dollar reward to anyone who can bring her in—alive, dead or chopped up into little pieces. (Ew.) Barbara and Tabitha, who just opened a new club named Sirens, were very intrigued by his offer, while Butch couldn’t do anything but mourn his breakup with Tabitha. And Gordon was also very, very intrigued by Penguin’s cash offer. I think the only thing that can crack through Gordon’s tough exterior right now is the promise of a cash payout.

But Penguin was slowly going mad with his inability to find Fish, and constantly wondering why she didn’t kill him when she had the chance all those months ago when she escaped. And so, shockingly enough, he found solace in his weekly BFF chats with Nygma a.k.a. the Riddler, who was still being held in Arkham Asylum (he never got to take advantage of the Indian Hill mass jail break and yeah, he’s still pretty bitter about it). Riddler’s words of advice were simple for his old friend: Remember that penguins eat fish.

However, maybe Penguin won’t have to worry about Fish for long … turns out that all of the Indian Hill escapees were on the hunt for a certain pharmaceutical drug to help make Hugo Strange’s body modifications permanent, because as of now, they’re all slowly dying from their bodies rejecting the changes. Using Lucius’ help, Gordon tracked the drug to the warehouse that made it, and found Fish there with a goon trying to steal it. A chase ensued, and they got away.

Meanwhile, Bruce finally came back home to Gotham after a long time away with Alfred, gathering evidence on the shadowy group that had taken control of his company. He confronted the Wayne Enterprises Board of Directors with his findings—knowing that members of the group were in that very room—and threatened them to come forward or else he would release his evidence to the public. But his threat caused the Court of Owls to put a hit out on him. The episode ended with someone knocking out Alfred and kidnapping Bruce—but we’re getting ahead of ourselves!

Bruce knew his threat to the Board would have some backlash, so he tried to warn Selina to watch her back in case they came for her, knowing the two used to be close. I say “used to be” because Selina still holds a grudge against Bruce since he left town without saying goodbye so she brushed him off, but not before the Bruce Wayne lookalike from Indian Hill—who was trailing Selina after she helped him on the street—caught a glimpse of his twin. He was downright shocked, so it’s clear that he had no idea he had a lookalike out there. He became obsessed with finding out who Bruce was. Maybe he won’t be a villain after all like we all thought after the season two finale? Only time will tell.

At Sirens, some mobsters came calling on Barbara when they found out that Penguin “didn’t have their back,” aka Barbara and Tabitha refused to pay Penguin for protection. But what these old-fashioned, chauvinistic dudes didn’t realize was that Stabby Babs and Tabby don’t need any man to protect them: they protect themselves. So, naturally, they ruthlessly and joyfully murdered all the men that tried to extort them. Oh Stabby Babs, how I’ve missed you and your maniacal laugh. She also figured out the whole thing was set up by Butch, who was desperate to have Tabby back under his control and in his life. Is that a longing look Tabby sent back in Butch’s direction? Oh honey no, stay far away.

Back to Gordon’s new girl: Selina tipped off Valerie where Fish was going to hit next looking for that drug, and so she teamed up with Gordon to find her story while he would get to cash in on the million dollar pay out if he caught Fish. But sneaky Gordon just used her information to get the location of Miss Peabody (who was under witness protection with the GCPD in exchange for testifying against Strange), and then handcuffed Valerie to her own car so she wouldn’t follow him. Gordon knew that Fish was looking for Peabody to get either answers on how to fix whatever was hurting her or get revenge on Peabody for what Indian Hill did to her, and so he led the escapees right to Peabody as a trap. But it all backfired: Fish’s goons overpowered Gordon and kidnapped Peabody while Valerie got a photo of Gordon fighting an Indian Hill escapee with bat wings. Gordon caught the winged guy (Man Bat?), getting his GCPD payout, while Valerie got her story.

Interesting to note: After getting a lecture from Barnes on losing Peabody, Bullock confessed to Gordon that he liked acting as GCPD captain while Barnes was out. Is this foreshadowing for later? I like the sounds of Captain Bullock, don’t you?

Later that night at an abandoned warehouse, Peabody dropped some knowledge on her kidnappers: all their bodies are starting to reject the changes they went under in Indian Hill. Her advice: stop using their powers, and they will recover. Obviously Fish won’t stop using her powers of persuasion though. So the only person who can help them make their changes permanent is Strange. Fish decided that she wanted Strange to not only fix her, but also give her an army of people just like her. She then let one of Peabody’s old experiments kill her. Does that mean that with no one testifying against Strange, he’ll walk free? Yikes, that’s a terrifying thought.

And the episode ended with Selina’s friend Ivy getting caught spying on the Indian Hill escapees, and when she tried to get away, Marv, a man with aging powers, grabbed onto her arm before she fell and disappeared into a current. Is this how Ivy becomes a grown up version of Poison Ivy this season? We’ll have to wait and see!

What did you think of the Gotham season three premiere? Tweet me your thoughts at @SydneyBucksbaum!

Images: Fox

Make an iPhone 7 Headphone Port with a Drill (But Please Don’t Actually Try This)

The iPhone 7 may already be the most infamous one Apple has ever created—largely due to the fact that it did away with the longtime standard 3.5mm headphone jack in favor of Apple’s own proprietary Lightning jack. Apple said it took “courage” to axe the aux cord, and the windfall from that drew a myriad of reactions, including a sketch from Stephen Colbert.

Still, it is possible to use the headphones you already own and love with an adapter, but according to this totally truthful (*wink*) sketch, the iPhone 7 already has a 3.5mm port—you just have to do some literal digging to find it. Here’s what you do: Put your brand new phone in a vice, let your touch screen begin to behave erratically, take a power drill, and just bore a hole right in the bottom of the device. Then you can plug in your own headphones and jam out to some royalty-free trance music!

We think we’ve been pretty clear about this so far, but let us reiterate in case you didn’t catch it the first couple times we said it: Please don’t actually try this and say “Nerdist told me to do it” when you’re left with a broken iPhone 7. We can say with 1,000% certainty that this will not improve your device in any way, unless you prefer your phone non-functional.

Despite the backlash, not all the changes coming to the iPhone 7 are bad: It now takes advantage of a dual-lens camera setup, and it looks like wireless charging will be a possibility as well. Put the drill down, and check out what the new iPhone has to offer.

Featured image: TechRax/YouTube

BATMAN: THE TELLTALE SERIES Episode 2 Brings the “Children of Arkham” to Gotham City

On September 20, Batfans will be able to return to Gotham and help Bruce Wayne clear his family’s name with the release of episode 2 of Batman: The Telltale Series. This character-driven story (A Telltale tradition) makes every decision Bruce makes just as important as Batman’s. Entitled “Children of Arkham,” here is Telltale’s official synopsis:

Still reeling from the disturbing revelations regarding his legacy, Bruce plunges into the depths of his memory in search of clarity. This exploration leads to further questions regarding those involved in Gotham’s criminal past. What exactly was Thomas Wayne involved in, and why was he killed? Huge decisions await that will forever change the Batman and the lives of those around him, as he comes into conflict with the enigmatic and formidable Children of Arkham who have dark intentions for the city of Gotham.

From the above trailer, not only does Bruce have to deal with the truth behind his parents’ death but with his childhood friend Oswald Cobblepot, who is growing closer and closer to becoming one of Batman’s greatest enemies, the Penguin. It’s interesting to note that while the basic premise of Batman’s origin remains the same, we have been treated lately to alternate takes on his supporting characters. Between this game and Gotham, Oswald is slowly becoming a much more compelling supporting character.

Featuring an all-star cast including Troy Baker, Laura Bailey, and Travis Willingham, “Children of Arkham” looks to add to an already great story that focuses more on the human side of the Dark Knight, rather than all of the gadgets. In the Arkham series, you get to fight like the Bat. Thanks to Telltale, you now get to think like him.

So what do you think? Are you excited to delve into the next chapter in Batman: The Telltale Series? Let me know on Twitter or sound off in the comments below.

Speaking of Bats, we break down his new Justice League batsuit!

Image: Telltale/DC Comics

Marvel’s She-Hulk Will Star in New HULK Series

If you’ve been reading Marvel’s Civil War II event, you may have noticed that a few major characters have already been killed off, and the series isn’t even over yet! But now there’s one more casualty: She-Hulk. Jennifer Walters may still be alive, but she’s leaving behind her fun-loving persona behind as she becomes Marvel’s newest Hulk.

Via AV Club, Marvel has announced that writer Mariko Tamaki and artist Nico Leon will be the creative team of Hulk, which will explore Jennifer’s life after Civil War II. And as you can see in Jeff Dekal’s cover for Hulk #1, Jen’s looking a lot angrier…and a bit grey.

While speaking with AV Club, Leon hinted that the cover may be reflective of Jen’s inner rage, which was something that she previously had under her control. “I think one of the most interesting and unique challenge in drawing her in this series will be to share with the readers her inside struggles,” said Leon. “All heroes have their own internal struggles, but in this series, Jen will be dealing with something new and huge that is happening inside her own mind. The great challenge will be to share that feeling with the readers. It is a serious topic and it needs our most careful approach.”

There are spoilers ahead if you’re not up to date on Civil War II! You’ve been warned!

During Civil War II, She-Hulk was badly injured in the battle with Thanos that claimed the life of War Machine. When she emerged from her coma, Jen appeared to have been physically changed from the experience right before she was hit with the news about Bruce Banner’s death. Jen’s trauma as well as her grief and anger over Bruce’s fate may be why she’s going to become more like the original Hulk. Whether Jen can overcome that rage remains to be seen.

Hulk #1 will be released in December.

What do you think about She-Hulk’s new role as Marvel’s latest Hulk? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Everything you might want to know about Runaways right here!

Image: Marvel Comics

FEAR THE WALKING DEAD Recap: Staring at a “Pillar of Salt”

Editor’s note: This post contains spoilers for the latest episode of Fear the Walking Dead! Proceed with caution, survivors. For reals, if you haven’t yet watched the latest episode, “Pillar of Salt”, we highly suggest you do so before proceeding. Okay? We good? Let’s go.

There’s a line in this week’s episode of Fear the Walking Dead that perfectly describes one of the pitfalls this show struggling to avoid in its second season: “You Americans love to fix others problems.” It’s a danger that most any narrative entertainment produced in the U.S. faces when set in a foreign land, even one as close as Mexico. It’s a little too soon to see how things will ultimately play out, but I’m hoping Nick doesn’t emerge as the only person capable of saving the colonia from the forces that threaten it. Just as my fingers are tightly crossed that Madison doesn’t wind up as the Great White Hope of Hotel Hell.

The situation isn’t helped, however, by the fact that the sole surviving Latino from the show’s original group, Ofelia, has gone off on her own adventure, free thus far of any responsibility to the group. We catch up with the last of the Salazars in “Pillar of Salt,” and the episode finally gives actress Mercedes Mason something to do in a pair of flashback sequences. They depict Ofelia in happier times, getting a surprise marriage proposal from her late fiancé and chatting with her mother about her own marriage to her difficult dad. It’s not much, but it helps to flesh out a character who was a mere cypher throughout the first half of this season. The show’s producers also give Ofelia a badass makeover similar to the one they gave Alicia a couple of episodes ago; having her coldly, efficiently killing zombies, and siphoning gasoline by mouth. It’s a makeover that will prove necessary, however, if she continues to go it alone in the apocalypse.

Madison, meanwhile, continues to display the two sides of her personality that are perpetually at war: the worried mother and the hardened team leader. After Strand is stabbed this week, she immediately assumes command and orders his attacker locked up while she goes off to get medicine for her friend. Then she falls to pieces when she visits Nick’s dealers and discovers he may be somewhere nearby. Which only serves to freak out Alicia, who, perhaps perversely, has come to view her present situation as a chance to spend the kind of quality time with mom that she was denied as a kid. Here, neither mother nor daughter come off looking too good, but Madison can hardly be faulted for wanting to know if her son’s still alive. It’d be nice, however, if her concern didn’t make Alicia again look like a pouting child.

Back at the colonia, Nick continues to demonstrate more sense than the community’s quasi cult leader, and his new girlfriend Elena. He insists they continue to trade their medicine even after one of their own is captured by the traders, when he goes off on a quest to get his sick daughter help that the colonia can’t provide. It’s nice to see Nick move further away from junkie parasite and emo adolescent. Though, again, one wonder if it’s truly necessary to depict him as the white savior of an underprivileged Latino town as part of that journey. As if to provide some counterbalance, Travis appears in the last shot of “Pillar of Salt,” reinforcing the titular reference as he, like Lot’s wife in the Bible, looks back and sees Madison’s new home shining in the distance.

Undead Afterthoughts

— Fear the Walking Dead‘s title sequence continues to amuse. It’s much more intense than that of The Walking Dead, even though it’s a much less intense show.

— This episode’s opening scene again calls to mind the number one question many fans still have about this universe: why don’t the survivors just cover themselves in zombie guts all the time?

— Every time our heroes go shopping for supplies I have this mad desire to hear The Clash’s “Lost in the Supermarket” play on the soundtrack.

— I feel almost as bad that Strand’s shirt was ruined as I did that Strand was stabbed. That was a really nice shirt.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter (@JMaCabre).

Images: AMC

Scientists Just Discovered a New Purpose for Beer Foam

Love it or leave it, the foamy head on a vigorously poured pint of beer does a lot more to benefit the sensation of your libation than you might realize. Beer foam—a latticework of carbon dioxide gas bubbles trapped in a matrix of grain proteins, hop alpha acids, metal ions, and beer itself—is a fantastic visual and aromatic indicator of the type and quality of the potent potable poured into the pint put in front of you. In addition to the pleasant sight and smell that beer foam provides, it also helps to present the full range of the beer’s flavor profile, “softens” the palate, and provides a carbonated tingle to the tongue upon quaffing. But as a new physics study shows, a healthy layer of foam will actually help to keep more of the liquid gold in your glass rather than sloshing over the rim.

A new paper published in the Physics of Fluids journal (via Gizmodo) set out to investigate the effects a foamy layer has on the liquid below it when it comes to oscillations, i.e. sloshing. Their findings revealed that the foam layer dampens oscillations in the liquid layer much more quickly than the traditional thinking could explain.

Conventional wisdom says that any liquid sloshing back and forth in a container will dissipate energy as it does so, resulting in each oscillation getting smaller and smaller. However, this explanation suggests that the oscillations will dampen exponentially, but will never stop. The new study puts a foamy damper on this idea thanks to capillary action. This phenomenon, one that explains how trees move liquid from their roots to their great heights or how some insects walk on water, results from forces due to surface tension.

“Those capillary forces are small, but they’re very important as soon as the sizes or motions get small,” said Pierre-Thomas Brun, a mathematician at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and co-author on the paper. These capillary effects from innumerable little bubbles “induce tiny pressure gradients near the walls of the container, which drives small motions in the liquid that reduce the sloshing.” To make things a bit stranger, the slower the velocity of the oscillation becomes, the quicker it dissipates, resulting in much less sloshing in a relatively short time. These findings have real-world implications that range from better control and stability of oil in transport tankers and liquid fuel in rocket tanks, to keeping the better part of your beer within your glass.

Learn a little more about brewing beer and the benefits of beer foam thanks to UC Davis’ Charlie “Pope of Foam” Bamforth:

Do you appreciate a good head on a pint of beer for any other reasons than the ones mentioned above? Let us know in the comments! Cheers!

How much booze could super-soldier Captain America drink?

Images: Been Around/Flickr

Updated Live! PRIMETIME EMMYS 2016 Winners List!

Considering the percentage of any given year we spend watching television, we may as well let ourselves get invested in the small screen Superbowl that is the Primetime Emmys. At the dawn of every autumn, we look back on the bounty of home entertainment that has kept us enrapt over the past 12 months—the melancholy comedies, political intrigue-laden dramas, and Ryan Murphy-produced head trips that we’ve grown to love or simply hate-watch.

So now that we’ve all committed to watching the ceremony, what can we expect from the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards? Well, with dramas like Orphan Black and The Americans up for major awards, we can expect these series’ frenzied fan bases to get ever the more impassioned about a possible win as the night carries on. With comedies like Silicon Valley, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Black-ish up for their own prizes, we can expect a bevy of quotable speeches and GIF-worthy crowd moments. With Jimmy Kimmel hosting, we can expect his usual brand of deadpan pop culture snark, likely at the expense of Matt Damon. (Matt Damon’s probably got some reason to be at the Emmys, right?) All in all, our addictive personalities are sure to be satisfied by our most decadent vice, with every television show we know and love honored—or, hey, at least mercilessly mocked!—in one fell swoop.

And of course, we here at Nerdist will be live tweeting the whole thing. So hop over to Twitter to hear our take on the moment-to-moment of tonight’s Primetime Emmys, and check below for our live-updated winners list.

 

DIRECTING FOR A DRAMA

Downton Abbey, “Episode 9”

Winner: Game of Thrones, “Battle of the Bastards”

Game of Thrones, “The Door”

Homeland, “The Tradition of Hospitality”

The Knick, “This Is All We Are”

Ray Donovan, “Exsuscito”

SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA

Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones

Lena Headey, Game of Thrones

Winner: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Maura Tierney, The Affair

Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones

Constance Zimmer, UnReal

WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES

The Americans, “Persona Non Grata”

Downton Abbey, “Episode 8”

Winner: Game of Thrones, “Battle of the Bastards”

The Good Wife, “End”

Mr. Robot, “eps1.0_hellofriend.mov”

UnReal, “Return”

VARIETY SKETCH SERIES

Documentary Now

Drunk History

Inside Amy Schumer

Winner: Key & Peele

Portlandia

Saturday Night Live

DIRECTING FOR A VARIETY SPECIAL

58th Grammy Awards

Lemonade

Winner: Grease: Live!

Adele Live in New York City

Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo

The Kennedy Center Honors

VARIETY TALK SERIES

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

The Late Late Show with James Corden

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Winner: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Real Time with Bill Maher

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

WRITING FOR A VARIETY SPECIAL

Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo

John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid

Winner: Patton Oswalt: Talking for Clapping

Tig Notaro: Boyish Girl Interrupted

Triumph’s Election Special 2016

LIMITED SERIES

American Crime

Fargo

The Night Manager

Winner: The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Roots

TV MOVIE

A Very Murray Christmas

All the Way

Confirmation

Luther

Winner: Sherlock: The Abominable Bride

LEAD ACTOR, TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Bryan Cranston, All the Way

Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: The Abominable Bride

Idris Elba, Luther

Cuba Gooding Jr., The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Tom Hiddleston, The Night Manager

Winner: Courtney B. Vance, *The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story*

LEAD ACTRESS, TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Kirsten Dunst, Fargo

Felicity Huffman, American Crime

Audra McDonald, Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill

Lili Taylor, American Crime

Winner: Sarah Paulson, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Kerry Washington, Confirmation

SUPPORTING ACTOR, TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Winner: Sterling K. Brown, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Hugh Laurie, The Night Manager

Jesse Plemons, Fargo

David Schwimmer, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

John Travolta, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Bokeem Woodbine, Fargo

DIRECTING FOR A TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

All the Way

Fargo, “Before the Law”

Winner: The Night Manager

The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, “Manna From Heaven”

The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, “From The Ashes of Tragedy”

The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, “The Race Card”

SUPPORTING ACTRESS, TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Hotel

Olivia Colman, The Night Manager

Winner: Regina King, American Crime

Melissa Leo, All the Way

Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Hotel

Jean Smart, Fargo

WRITING FOR A TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Fargo, “Loplop”

Fargo, “Palindrome”

The Night Manager

The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, “From the Ashes of Tragedy”

Winner: The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia”

The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, “The Race Card”

REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM

The Amazing Race

American Ninja Warrior

Dancing with the Stars

Project Runway

Top Chef

Winner: The Voice

LEAD ACTOR, COMEDY

Anthony Anderson, Black-ish

Aziz Ansari, Master of None

Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth

William H. Macy, Shameless

Thomas Middleditch, Silicon Valley

Winner: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

LEAD ACTRESS, COMEDY

Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Winner: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Laurie Metcalf, Getting On

Tracee Ellis Ross, Black-ish

Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer

Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie

DIRECTING FOR A COMEDY

Master of None, “Parents”

Silicon Valley, “Daily Active Users”

Silicon Valley, “Founder Friendly”

Winner: Transparent, “Man on the Land”

Veep, “Kissing Your Sister”

Veep, “Morning After”

Veep, “Mother”

SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY

Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Gaby Hoffmann, Transparent

Allison Janney, Mom

Judith Light, Transparent

Winner: Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live

Niecy Nash, Getting On

WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES

Catastrophe, “Episode 1”

Winner: Master of None, “Parents”

Silicon Valley, “Founder Friendly”

Silicon Valley, “The Uptick”

Veep, “Morning After”

Veep, “Mother”

SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY

Winner: Louie Anderson, Baskets

Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Tony Hale, Veep

Keegan-Michael Key, Key and Peele

Matt Walsh, Veep