Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2271

There’s Finally a Game That Combines SEINFELD with Anime

The @Seinfeld2000 Twitter account does a fine job at imagining what it would be like if Seinfeld was still on the air today — if Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer had to deal with modern annoyances and ideas, like George inventing a seven-second version of Vine or confusion about the #LoveTrumpsHate hashtag. One thing it fails to address, however, is what the comedy classic would be like if it was an anime.

That’s not a mystery game-making duo PNTGRM were prepared to leave unsolved, so they went ahead and created “The Senpai,” a visual novel that’s basically a playable Seinfeld episode that’s decidedly anime.

They’re not about to go Super Saiyan or anything, but after talking about what it’d be like to get crushed to death, George reveals to Jerry that he’s having a problem at school: “It’s my senpai, Jerry.” If you, playing as Jerry, choose to press George for an explanation, he elaborates, “You know, my senpai, my superior. He won’t notice me, Jerry!”

For those unfamiliar with the trope, it’s a fairly common occurrence that a character, usually a student, wants a superior, or “senpai,” to take notice of them, whether romantically or otherwise. It became a meme a few years ago, and now it’s even made its way to Seinfeld, sort of.

You can play “The Senpai” in your browser, or you can download it for Windows and Mac, so check it out here; Maybe your taste in quality internet content will be what it takes for senpai to finally notice you.

Image: PNTGRM

You know who else wants Senpei to notice them? Onyx the Fortuitous:

David Tennant Narrated a Movie to Calm Your Pets During Fireworks

Are you suffering from 2016 ennui? Is your pet? David Tennant wants to help as only someone formerly known as the Doctor can. Take a minute and watch a preview for his latest film projects above. Are you calmer? Happier? Is your cat purring right next to you? Mine is.

You can thank More Th>n Motion Pictures, aka More Than Pet Insurance, for the auditory and visual treat above. They hired our good Doctor to narrate two short films in preparation for Bonfire Night, which you may know as Guy Fawkes Day, this year to keep the pets of London calm and serene in the face of exploding fireworks and very loud noises from the outside world. Any American pet owner who has made it through an Independence Day without scratches will know just how precious their animals’ sanity is on these nights when humans revel and blow things up for fun.

More Th>n has created two films, one for a dog and one for a cat, that have been scientifically calibrated to help animals stay calm. That our favorite Doctor Who and Broadchurch star is narrating them is exactly the kind of nerdy quirk that might keep us glued to our computers regardless of whether there are fireworks or not. According to the Mirror UK, they worked with animal behaviorist Karen Wild and vet Robert White-Adams to make sure that the films would work. Here are a couple of design elements you might notice, and trust us, so will your pets. Woofering Heights, the film for dogs obviously, was shot entirely in the blues and yellows that dominate a dog’s vision spectrum. Peer Window, the cat’s film, is set within a window frame. Given that cats spend the majority of their time staring at the outside world, it is a perfect fit.

The folks at More Th>n clearly have a sense of humor. Woofering Heights‘s title is in homage to Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights, and Peer Window pays homage to Alfred Hitchcock‘s classic film Rear Window. I believe it’s safe to say, the animal versions of these films have happier endings. I love a good pun almost as much as I love listening to Tennant’s dulcet tones through my speakers.

If you’re in the UK, make sure you bookmark these videos for this Saturday, 5 November, when your community may be having its own Bonfire Night celebration. As for the rest of you, trust me, no one is judging you for bookmarking these videos to listen to when you’re having a bad day.

Image: BBC

Let’s hope Mr. Tennant doesn’t Kilgrave those pets, eh?

Audio Rewind: Where Does Royalty Money Go When Artists Die?

Royalties, the payments made in exchange for use of another party’s property, are a fickle, complicated beast. And as the world continues to adjust to an online economy, they become more and more fickle and complicated. The model made sense before the Internet, when physical copies were the primary medium for music and other kinds of entertainment, but, in the streaming age, they provide artists a mere pittance. And it’s not like these artists are spending less time on their art than those that went before them. The art is not cheaper, but the market has cheapened it nonetheless.

Some of the artists from that bygone era of royalty benevolence, though, are still making gratuitous amounts of money—even the dead ones. Forbes monitors these types of things, and, at this time 15 years back, the business magazine began what has become an annual examination of the most lucrative dead celebrities. That year Elvis Presley led the pack with $35 million in earnings (in 2001 alone), and he was followed by Charles Schulz ($20 million+), and John Lennon ($20 million). But, if someone is dead, where does that money go? And if royalties are partial to physical commodities, how are they still making so much money in this digital age? These are the questions we’re exploring in this week’s edition of Audio Rewind.

In one of the later editions of this study (2006), Forbes delineates a rubric for qualification for their hallowing (and harrowing) list. To be eligible, the fallen star needed to net at least $7 million in the latest calendar year, and, in their analysis, Forbes differentiates between two primary methods of income: solitary events like estate sales and iconic images that are simply long-lasting. That year, Elvis, whose lasting appeal has kept him at or near the top of the list every single year, had both. Entertainment tycoon Robert Sillerman’ paid $100 million that year for an 85% share of Presley’’s estate, adding to the King’s enduring image and his already sumptuous fortune.

OK, sales like this make sense, but how are people profiting from ‘lasting appeal’? Well, often times, after people of Elvis’s stature die, their legacies are used to spawn (or maintain) massive merchandising empires; in other words, people still living capitalize on their brand power to rake in tons of dough. The name, and the memory of the person who had it, are the commodities and even death can’t kill their market potential. $15 million of Elvis’s earnings in 2001, for instance, were from ticketing sales at the Graceland property alone. The one-time residence has become a veritable pilgrimage for those that want to feel as close as they can to Elvis and all that his memory entails.

But who’s getting all that money? Well, heirs are, for starters. Elvis’s daughter Lisa Marie Presley has a 15% stake in his assets. Courtney Love is another example, and in 2006 she sold a 25% share of Kurt Cobain‘s song catalog for $50 million.

It pays (quite literally) to be part of these people’s estates. Michael Jackson, who has become the titan of Forbes’ lists since his passing in 2009, accrued an ungodly $825 million in 2016, mostly from the sale of his half share of the Beatles’ song catalog (the whole of which Jackson purchased for $47.5 million in 1985—it sold for $750 million). But enter into consideration the rights of writers, publishers, labels, and other ancillary contributors and things get muddled quickly. (Look most recently at Prince and his purported heir). The mess that is asset acquisition and transfer of estate and intellectual copyright is so convoluted that it’s not worth going into; suffice to say that copyright lawyers will always have jobs.

So, in short, the estates and the legacies of pre-Internet stars are where the big money’s at, and that’s what Forbes’ lists are largely reliant on, but royalties were once also a hefty supplement to any artist’s income—and not just the megastars. And how do those work? Well, it’s also overly complicated. Sold recordings are based on a statutory rate set by the US Congress that’s adjusted for flux in the economy. Currently, that’s $.08 for songs less than five minutes long and $.0155 for song more than five minutes long. But these rates can be negotiated (and they almost always are), and when it comes to other forms of consumption—like music streaming, and even online downloads—companies generally pay out a fraction of the royalties, and artists agree to these terms because the market forces them to do so. It has become the norm.

This understanding has rendered sites like Spotify and (especially) Youtube as contentious platforms that compensate artists insufficiently. Gone are the days when artists could rely on royalties as a living wage. Aloe Blacc, a relatively successful and well-known singer/songwriter, for example, was paid just $4,000 for 168 million Spotify plays. Is his art cheaper than Elvis’s, or any less meaningful to his fans? Or has the accessibility of the Internet simply created a market that makes it feel cheaper. Questions to ponder.

En masse, these are simply a handful of vignettes that allude to the overcomplicated royalty system, its failure to adapt to changing times, and the necessity to do something to change it (and this is all without mentioning the intransigence of the outmoded recording industry). For a culture that values art so much (Spotify has more than 100 million active users), we can assuredly do more to support it. Perhaps we should encourage the intact and self-sustaining estates of our posthumous heroes to pay it forward and prop up some of our under-compensated artists. It’s an idealistic thought, but why not? Surely Graceland’s upkeep shouldn’t trump the bourgeoning art of so many of our generation’s artists.

After all, we’re already witnessing a desire for authenticity in a music industry that’s moving further and further away from it. The resurgence of vinyl. A newfound love for reel-to-reel recording. When it comes to music, we want it to be true. We want to love it for the right reasons. And the industry propelling it should foster a model that better supports that truth.

Image: AVON/MGM

Quentin Tarantino Promises Only Two More Movies, Drops Mic

Few filmmakers working today — or even working ever in history — could make news announcing they’d only be making a couple more movies. Steven Soderbergh did it a few years ago, and it registered as an “Oh, hmm” with most cinephiles. But when Quentin Tarantino, one of the brashest and most distinctive voices in the medium for the past 25 years, says he’s just about done in the industry, it’s cause for reflection, disappointment, and vast anticipation. Last year, Tarantino promised only a few, but on Thursday afternoon, the Django Unchained director said he’s officially stopping at two more. “Drop the mic. Boom. Tell everybody, ‘Match that shit.'”

As shared by The Hollywood Reporter, Tarantino took the stage in Hall H at the San Diego Convention Center for the Adobe Max creativity conference — a gathering I’m led to believe is a real thing — and with his trademark humility (har har har) assured the audience that he wants his film career to end on his terms, with a master stroke and a final hurrah. His answer to how personally defines success is vintage QT. “Hopefully, the way I define success when I finish my career is that I’m considered one of the greatest filmmakers that ever lived. And going further, a great artist, not just filmmaker,” he said.

What his final two movies would be is still very much in the unknown, though reports earlier this year say it’s set in 1930s Australia, and he’s teased a sequel to Kill Bill as well. However, he told the crowd at the conference that he’s currently focusing on a nonfiction project about the year 1970 and its importance to cinema history. “It could be a book, a documentary, a five-part podcast,” he says.

Part of me is going to be incredibly sad when Tarantino stops making movies, but, at 53 years old and a career spanning 25 years, he’s only directed eight features (if, like he does, we count both volumes of Kill Bill as a single film). He takes his time with his movies and makes sure they’re something he’s truly passionate about and reflects his own tastes. And for the most part, I feel like this has paid off immeasurably. As great as his early works are, I’ve felt like his last three films — Inglourious Basterds, Django Unchained, and The Hateful Eight — are some of the most brilliant and socially relevant movies by any director, much less the same one. He keeps getting better, and if he’s content to finish his career with two more features, I feel like he’s going to give us something worth talking about and worth remembering.

Let us know your thoughts on Quentin Tarantino’s self-imposed retirement in the comments below!

Images: The Weinstein Company

Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!

Speaking of potential, here are some sequels that could have happened!

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS Almost Had a Love Triangle

It’s been six years since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 hit theaters, but the film still has a few secrets to give up. While it has previously been known that Stanislav Ianevski reprised his role as Viktor Krum in scenes that didn’t make the final cut of Deathly Hallows, it was not known (until now, that is!) that Viktor had a much bigger role in the movie: as a romantic roadblock between Ron and Hermione.

While speaking with Entertainment Weekly‘s Binge podcast, Ianevski revealed that Deathly Hallows director David Yates envisioned a departure from the book which would have explored Hermione and Viktor rekindling their relationship from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

“[Yates] invented a new story that wasn’t in the books, a love triangle between Viktor Krum, Hermione, and Ron,” related Ianevski. “But that was cut out of the film because it obviously didn’t fit with all the horrible things that happen in the last book…We did a new dance scene, I sort of stole [Hermione] from Ron. She remembered our old times, Viktor was acting like a gentleman again, happy to see her, she was happy to see him. Ron was sitting on the side, was jealous, and then Viktor took her to the dance floor.” (In the original story by J. K. Rowling, it was Viktor who was somewhat jealous to see Ron and Hermione dancing before he briefly expressed romantic interest in Ginny Weasley. And we all know how that went.)

Do you think that the scenes between Hermione and Viktor should have stayed in the final film? Cast your spells in the comment section below!

Image: Warner Bros. Pictures

The GHOST IN THE SHELL Team Discuss the Film’s Casting Controversy

Anime and manga fans are very aware that one of their most popular properties, Ghost in the Shell, is going to be a major motion picture on March 31, 2017. They—as are we all, at this point—are also very aware that a character called Motoko Kusanagi is being played by Scarlett Johansson, highlighting another instance of character whitewashing in the name of viability. But what was behind the choice from a creative standpoint? When we visited the set of the film in New Zealand, the topic was at the forefront of our discussion with their incredibly diverse (and international) supporting cast.

If you’re not familiar with the anime, the basic premise is simple: it’s set a few decades in the future in a time where most of humanity has some sort of cybernetic body enhancement, which results in the formation of elite security group called Section 9 who look into cases of memory hacking. The live-action adaptation will explore The Major (Johansson)’s search for her identity and humanity as she tries to find out who she was before her body was replaced by a machine. (For more info on the franchise, check out our earlier article.)

When Johansson’s casting was announced, there was an understandable outcry from the geek community, with many fans upset that a Caucasian woman was going to play an iconic Japanese role. To which Producer Michael Costigan explained, “Some films don’t get made because the right actor doesn’t exist to make the film. That’s what happens some times.”

Johansson spoke about not knowing if she was the right person for the role. “You know, I think… I don’t know if I was the right person, but I think Rupert [Sanders, director] and I shared the same vision for the character. So I think early on, having the same conversation, it’ll be up to the audience to judge if I’m the right person to play this part, but you know, I do work that I think I can do, and be challenged by, and have a take on. I do work that I feel I have something to contribute to. And I think in this case it was my sympathy for this character’s experience that made me feel I was capable to play this role.”

“Look at her films,” explained Costigan. “She is one of our absolute favorite actors working, and somebody who can do what The Major has to do. It’s a strong character with strength and passion and emotions and [Scarlett] can put you into that universe and you believe it. It kind of felt like a class of one,” he said, echoing a sentiment expressed by many studios in cases like this.

The film is set in a future where the world’s people have blended together, and Section 9 is composed of a multicultural cast. Costigan explained that casting Johansson allowed them more freedom to cast with diversity for the other roles. “Normally what happens on a property like this is that you’d have a couple of plum roles and that would be it. The appeal of Ghost in The Shell is what helped us because we thought well let’s go out and cast our favorite actors [for the other roles] and it was very organic.”

Tawanda Manyimo, who plays Section 9 bomb expert Borma, said of the changes, “I mean, just having a conversation is a good start…I think that’s a difficult thing because in books and comics, we get into characters’ heads for hours and pages and pages. That’s really difficult to pull off in film. And if you’re going to do something with so much of a history like the Ghost in the Shell manga—if you’ve got an opportunity to do something really different but stay the same—then go ahead and do it. I mean, you’ll never satisfy everyone.”

On why Johansson was right for the role, he added, “Because she’s an efficient, fantastic actor….You see that when she walks on set. You can see why people hire her because she comes in and she’s really does the job.”

Chin Han who plays Togusa—another member of Section 9—spoke about Johansson in the role, saying, “She brings a strength and a humanity to a very complex role, I think. But not only that, she’s so physically adept and skilled. She can really run with the boys, so to speak. … And as you can see, we do have a very international cast as well. And I think that’s what the future looks like.”

Another attempt at diversity was gender-bending several roles to increase the female presence. Danusia Samal plays Ladria, a knife expert in Section 9, a character created specifically for the film. “Ladria is from scratch…because of that we could play around and decide who she was and what her background was great. I think what’s nice is that we make use of that, and we enjoy it, and kind of play around with the fact that there’s another woman there. But also, no one is spending a lot of time challenging that, saying ‘why is there another girl there?’ I trained with those boys every day, we did boot camp together, we do weapons training together…we’re all in it together, and gender is not an issue in that sense.”

Another female character that we’ll see is Dr. Ouelet (Juliette Binoche), the person who gave The Major her new body. “It gets complicated, which is why this Dr. Ouelet character was chosen to be female, [which] also [makes] it interesting: How would a female Dr. Ouelet evaluate this and make the choices that she makes?”

Costigan explained that it the gender diversity not only an important part of the film, but a necessary one. “[Gender] is really explored [in this film], because there are deep friendships and deep emotional relationships. There are very tight relationships where women can have all ranges of behavior. They can be really strong and really tough and have emotion where guys can be really tough.”

But don’t think all the emotional nuance is exclusive to the female characters. Added Costigan, “Batou, our big tough guy, actually has so much emotion that he’s running away from. … It’s complicated because who’s human and who’s ‘cyborised’—who is not human—in the movie? But, even if you’re not human in the movie and have human emotions like love or fear or desire, that was interesting [to explore] for female and male characters.”

He continued, “We got to make a really international movie. That’s what I like about it. The world we have here is very exciting because it’s a very international cast from everywhere so I’m very excited for people to see that too. You don’t always get to have that in a Hollywood movie.”

You know we want to hear your thoughts on this. Tweet me/us @JennaBusch/@Nerdist and let us know if you’re convinced. Are you excited for the film? Stay tuned for more set visit reports, but may I humbly submit that the pre-vis we saw for the shelling sequence done by Weta is pretty mind-blowing!

Image credit: Paramount

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ROANOKE Recap: Chapter 8

Editor’s Note: This post contains spoilers for American Horror Story: Roanoke . Proceed with caution if you have not watched yet.

The creators of American Horror Story weren’t kidding when they said the plot would completely pivot with episode six. Two whole chapters later and things in the house have gone from 0-100. With most of the characters dead, it’s hard to determine who’ll survive the madness, especially with the mystery character that showed up in the last few seconds of “Chapter 8.” For a full rundown of who died and how it happened, keep reading.

Right after killing her husband and “the love of her life” Matt, Shelby was left to contemplate life among the mob of angry ghosts outside her former residence. Luckily, her fake husband (a.k.a. Dominic) was there to comfort her. Too bad it didn’t work, as she slit her own throat soon after being chased by a horde of grudge ghosts, a pig man, and spooky nurses (oh my!). As Freddy Mercury once said, “Another one bites the dust.”

While Dominic was left to fend for himself in the house, the other three characters were enjoying a dinner party at the Polk farm. Granted, only half the folks at the party were actually going to get to eat, while the others served as the main course. As far as we saw, only Lee had chunks of her own flesh removed and prepared (and force fed to the other prisoners) by the band of cannibals. As Mama Polk explained, the reason her family had a taste for human meat started during the Great Depression. After having little to eat, the Polks decided to chow down on the men who stole the last of their food.

Fast forward to now and they’ve perfected their meat preparation techniques. As Jether Polk (Finn Wittrock) later explained to Lee, the family likes taking bits off the body because in the old days, they didn’t have refrigeration. It was also a great way to keep the meat fresh. Anyways, aside from dropping that historical tidbit of information, Jether took a few tidbits from Lee — including her ear, which he planned on giving to someone on Christmas. The cannibals apparently are fond of Christmas, and knew about the My Roanoake Nightmare show because they watch television when they aren’t busy in the kitchen.

One thing led to another, and soon Lee had managed to get the upper hand with Jether. After a weird few moments of seduction, Lee turned the tables and took advantage of Jether’s infatuation to seemingly murder him. Meanwhile, Audrey and Monet were in the other room waiting for an unexpected dental appointment. After the Polks tried to steal Monet’s teeth, she used the situation to get away. When Mama Polk realized what happened, she sent both of her boys running after Monet. Whether she lived or was captured will remain a mystery until next week or the finale.

Just as Mama Polk was starting to take out Audrey’s teeth, Lee came out of nowhere and saved the day. They got away and managed to get back to the house to find a bloody mess waiting for them. Lee was distraught to find out that Matt’s head had been bashed in. When they discovered Shelby’s dead body in the bathroom, they didn’t want to believe Dominic’s account of the events. When he told them that Shelby had murdered Matt and then offed herself, Audrey and Lee locked him out of the room. While out, Dominic was taken out by the Piggy Man.

As punishment, the girls met the Piggy Man the next morning. The only difference is that this guy (who looks like Wes Bentley) wouldn’t hurt a fly. As soon as the world learned his name was Dylan at the end of the episode, they started to wonder who exactly he was. Based on the girls’ reaction, the guy is an actor. So, he was probably hired by Sid to scare the group, a la performance art.

What did you think of last night’s episode? Who will be the final survivor? WHO IS DYLAN? Let us know in the comments below, join the conversation on Facebook, or start one with me on Twitter: @Samantha_Sofka.

Images: FX

Looking for more horror? Here are 12 horrifying anime sure to spook you

Musician Perfectly Captures the Clichés of ’90s Video Game Music

Video game franchises like Mario, Sonic The Hedgehog, and The Legend of Zelda all have distinctive soundtracks that have stood the test of time and remain memorable today, but that doesn’t mean they don’t fall victim to certain video game music tropes. Those games aren’t directly the targets of the latest video from Swedish musician and gamer Seth Everman, but his run through classic video game music clichés certainly reminds us of those titles at times.

Everman goes through most of the different types of music you’d find in a typical ’90s video game. His jaunty menu theme definitely reminds us of something from the Playstation 1, like Spyro The Dragon, or even a Mario game if those songs weren’t so stuck in our mind as their own distinct thing. His “YOU PRESSED START” transition into “UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE” is unmistakably line up-pausing The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and meeting Ganondorf outside of the castle in the storm.

There really isn’t anything Everman doesn’t nail in this clip, from the jaunty tutorial music (“TUTORIAL THAT YOU’RE FORCED TO COMPLETE”) to the menacing “THE EVIL BOSS APPEARS” to the mystical “WATER LEVEL (that everyone hates),” and it really shows how much we may take for granted the connection between the feelings certain portions of games give us and the music that’s critical in making that happen.

There are more video game music tropes in store, so check out the video above and try not to let Everman’s absolutely piercing eyes dominate your soul too much.

Featured image: Seth Everman

DR. STRANGE, the 1978 TV Pilot, Was a Camp Treat Ahead of Its Time

As Doctor Strange promises to drag you by the frontal lobe through space, spirit, and spectacle at the movie theaters this year, you can already go back in time by visiting Dr. Strange, the made-for-tv-movie-but-kind-of-a-television-show-pilot that’s only campy because it was ahead of its audience.

As you can tell by the trailer above, the natural inclination might be to judge this thing as fodder for Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it was no shoestring Hail Mary attempt to retain the comic book rights; writer/director Philip DeGuere’s take on this Marvel world was a serious attempt at chasing the kind of success The Incredible Hulk found at CBS, complete with high-level special effects and a beloved Oscar-winning actor in a prominent role. It’s only cheesy because of its barely-there romantic storyline and how poorly it’s aged.

The gist of Dr. Strange is that psychiatrist Stephen Strange (Peter Hooten) is courted both by the dying Sorcerer Supreme Lindmer (John Mills) and the malevolent Morgan LeFay (Jessica Walter (yes, Arrested Development Jessica Walter)) to learn magic and use it for either for the protection of mankind or the destructive rule of it. This thing goes full occult in its first minute, too, delivering an opening with a trippy Sauron-esque presence commanding LeFay to bring it the head of Lindmer or the soul of the new apprentice. It’s a sequence oddly predictive of outer space meetings between Loki or Ronan and The Other—both in look and purpose—and it dared TV watchers more comfortable with Happy Days to keep up.

LeFay jumps down to a New York City made of smoke and neon (on a backlot in Los Angeles) and uses the body and mind of a young woman named Clea (Anne-Marie Martin) to throw Lindmer off a high walkway into downtown traffic. Clea goes a little nutty afterward and screams her way into Dr. Strange’s hospital. Let the romance bloom!

Hooten—who was in both the original Inglorious Bastards and killer whale horror flick Orca—plays Strange as a vague womanizer, part Trapper John from M*A*S*H,  part Gregory House. His worst sin is that he’s late all the time, marking a big departure from the comic book character’s egotistical dickishness. The movie also does away completely with his status as a surgeon, the car crash that destroys his hands and his global search for a cure, opting instead to mark him as a chosen one by the mystic ring his father randomly gave him. They also made him battle a famous sorceress from Arthurian legend, so there you go. Faithfulness to the comic book wasn’t a huge concern.

Blunt talk for a second? This Strange is a bit of a Gary Stu. He’s instantly good at everything without any training, only fails once before miraculously being awesome immediately afterwards, and he’s just generally an idiot. He’s also barely there as a figure. It seems obvious that Deguere and company set up the would-be series as a vehicle for the Academy Award-owner Mills, with Strange as a semi-sidekick character who could get romantic and do training montages. It also seems clear that Mills may have been swayed by the success of Star Wars to take on a role as potentially goofy as this—one where he Jedi Mind Tricks his way into getting people to do what he wants, wears a hooded cloak, and shoots fuzzy light from his fingertips. He also gives weight to Strange by proclaiming the cost of transitioning from normal doctor to paranormal prestidigitator akin to the price of choosing knowledge over ignorance: a monk-like existence dedicated wholly to protecting earth.

Speaking of sidekicks, Dr. Strange does score some points for hiring renowned That Guy, Clyde Kusatsu as Wong, Lindmer’s associate who is blissfully devoid of stereotypical Orientalism nonsense. Unlike Strange, he’s a character with agency, he gets his own fight scene, and he’s more firmly embedded in the conflict. It’s unclear, as usual, why a snarky guy with a mustache and a special ring gets to be more powerful. Come to think of it, every guy in this movie has a mustache. 1978, baby. Good times.

The only other genuine problem with the movie is its fight scenes, which solely consist of each character standing as still as possible while CGI (admittedly innovative CGI) shoots from their stiff hands. The CGI beams clash with one another, or slam into the person as they slump over into a magic coma. It’s the kind of arthouse decision that explains why this failed while Lou Ferrigno’s Styrofoam Set Smashing Show ran for five seasons. Things heat up design-wise when we get to the Astral Plane with its kaleidoscopic tunnels and minimalistic, stylized environments, but no one gets above a jog even then.

Dr. Strange is often slow AND devoid of any sense of urgency—even as we’re told that the fate of all life hangs in the balance. Lindmer is, for his part in preventing the collapse of the universe, pretty chill. Interestingly enough, it’s the exact opposite of today’s plot-stuffed Marvel movies. It doesn’t really have more filler than the average one-hour drama of the 1970s, but its disparate styles and stories get in each other’s way.

Still, before dismissing it as a silly flop—which is was almost exclusively due to being programmed against a re-run of the immensely popular Roots—it’s important to celebrate this artifact for all of its fascinating angles. For one, its Moog nightmare of a score that drills a head-bobbing intensity into confrontational scenes. For two, its clunkiness as a narrative belies all of the influences it wears on its sleeve: hyper-color edges of 1970s prestige horror, television hospital dramas, and ancient sagas. What’s gutsiest about the flop is that it placed this odd olio front and center while stating its funky fantasy pedigree without a hint of shame.

Meant for the psychedelic 60s or the Henson-cheering 80s, Dr. Strange‘s biggest sin is being born too late and too soon. Its failure to launch almost definitely paved the way for Flash Gordon three years later, and the team behind 1992’s Doctor Mordrid—which began its life as a Strange adaptation before losing the rights (and you canread more about it in Shlock & Awe)—was obviously undaunted. Not to mention Marvel, who’s happy to use the character in this new era to launch its latest phase.

It’s fair to cringe when Clea coos “Did you save my life last night?” to the good doctor, and Neil deGrasse Tyson would definitely be angrily tweeting when Lindmer says that sorcery, alchem,y and science are all the same thing, but there’s more to Dr. Strange than meets the campy eye.

RATING: 2.5 out of 5 hoary burritos:

Did you watch Dr. Strange? Share your memories with us in the comments below!

Images: Universal Television/CBS

Schlock & Awe: DOCTOR MORDRID, the Knock-Off DOCTOR STRANGE

I’m sure most of you will be going to see Marvel’s Doctor Strange this weekend (our review here!) and sit in slack-jawed wonderment at the universe-folding visuals and overt mysticism–both things that the MCU hasn’t done before. But, as you might know from a recent Dan Cave, or just from your own wizardly knowledge, attempts for Dr. Stephen Strange to join the live action realm have been going for many years. There was a failed pilot movie in the ’70s, for example, and in 1992, a feature film was nearly made. Well, it was made, it was just called Doctor Mordrid instead.

Of all the odd studio choices to get a chance at a Marvel property, the confirmed straight-to-video horror/fantasy-sci-fi company Full Moon Entertainment–formed by the brothers Charles and Albert Band–might be the weirdest. But in the early 1990s, with the prospect of a big-budget, well-respected Marvel movie still at least a decade off, Full Moon was as good a choice as any. Having made their money on movies like the Demonic Toys franchise and a number of other softcore horror titles, Full Moon was nearly as low-brow a choice as was Roger Corman’s New World Pictures for making the rights-retaining Fantastic Four movie.

But Full Moon did have the ability to do interesting and sometimes innovative things on their meager budgets. I recently wrote about another Charles Band-directed effort, the supremely weird and painfully slow Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, which nevertheless had some impressive effects and a good use of 3D for the time. So when the Brothers Band got the rights to make a Doctor Strange movie, it seemed like it might be a worthy effort. Except, they lost the rights agonizingly close to production starting. So, not being the sort to lick their wounds, they changed the script enough to make it different and gave the world the 74-minute Doctor Mordrid.

The story is incredibly simple: Dr. Anton Mordrid (Jeffrey Combs, who is a boss) is a good wizard/sorcerer from another realm who has spent the last century and a half waiting for his childhood friend and arch nemesis, Kabal (Brian Thompson), to finally return to the land of the living to try to enslave and destroy Earth, which, of course, he attempts. Meanwhile, Mordrid and his trusty pet raven, named Edgar Allan, live in a huge apartment building, where he’s also the landlord, and spends his days as a criminal psychologist, occult historian, and chronicler of the dark arts. Naturally and conveniently, also in his building lives Sam (Yvette Nipar), a consultant for the police department. Probably there’ll be sparks, or whatever. The cops soon arrest Mordrid because of his knowledge of a murder Kabal committed and he’s got to use his wits and Sam’s help to get out and stop Kabal’s evil schemes.

Much to my shock and surprise, Doctor Mordrid is actually a pretty enjoyable movie. I was expecting, if I’m honest, a festering pile of dumb. But, I’ll gladly admit that I was wrong. Combs is an excellent mystical hero and while he has a tendency to be too serious, I’d have loved to see more adventures of Combs as Mordrid. Nipar and Thompson are fine, too, though they seem to be in totally different movies, and way too much of the movie takes place in the police station for my liking. It’s a short movie, so it feels like we need to get going a bit more and not have this lengthy middle section in the least mystical land ever.

The final battle more than makes up for the lingering in the station, however. Kabal has taken over the Cosmopolitan Museum, using it as the center for the destruction of Earth. Mordrid, having just escaped the station, knows he can’t make it there in time and instead astral projects. The two magical beings have a magical fight and end with making a T-Rex skeleton and a woolly mammoth skeleton fight each other. It’s incredibly cool, with stop-motion effects being used for the two ambulatory bone piles. I really enjoyed this, and it was especially impressive given the only $2 million budget.

That said, there is one aspect of the movie that flatly doesn’t work, and that’s when it tries to earn its R-rating. Initially, when it was going to be a Marvel Doctor Strange movie, it was going to be a solid PG, and most of the finished film, especially those featuring Mordrid himself, reflect that. However, the Bands must have figured, since they weren’t beholden to any rating limit, why not toss in out-of-place grown up stuff, all involving Kabal’s human minions. They both swear a TON, like to the point where it seems like 9-year-olds who just discovered the F word. There’s also a scene where the female minion is “chosen” for a special ritual by Kabal and is completely naked for it. These scenes begin about 20 minutes in and are incredibly jarring. But hey, gotta get in that boob and swear quota in an exploitation movie, I guess.

Overall, though, Doctor Mordrid is a solid if slight entry into the almost-a-superhero-franchise subgenre, and will definitely entertain those seeking a bit more sorcerer supremacy after or before you see Benny C and his red cape hit the screen. Don’t expect the best movie you’ll ever see, but you’ll definitely *ahem* Marvel at what could have been.

Images: Full Moon Entertainment

Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist. He writes the weekly look at weird or obscure films in Schlock & Awe. Follow him on Twitter!

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